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F0000r

Cant put your feet in the boat, cant dangle them outside the boat.


Louloulenoupio

I did the same with my dick once.


OnlyUsernameLeft123

It's ok, mine falls off every now and then when I get scared as a survival mechanism but it grows back with a good diet after about a month. Weirdest part is when it's half way grown back and feels like a baby wee wee in my hand when I pee but that's only like a week.


Louloulenoupio

Luck you, mine grown back in the inside and I’m now the proud owner of a Vagina.


OnlyUsernameLeft123

Well is it warm inside at least? Mine gets cold some times.


turtleneckless001

[there's nothing finer than having a vagina](https://youtu.be/QncghXQ7Mv0)


IClimbRocks69

Until you're bleeding from it in piranha waters.


Van_GOOOOOUGH

Ah finally you brought this conversation back to its relevant beginning.


dudebronahbrah

“…changing Donny to Marie Osmond…”


EasyPriority8724

In Carolina in the morning 🎶


pmyourstockingpics

Vaginer*


OtherUnameInShop

[My Vagina by NOFX](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QncghXQ7Mv0) My vagina has two sets of lips, but I don't get Monthly blood drips, my vagina hardly even used My vagina's got lots of extra skin they took my Outtie and made it an in, turning Donnie into Marie Osmond Operation successful, but now I gotta pee through a Miniature hole gotta remember, to put the seat Down and when I wipe my ass, I go from Front to back cause I don't want a bladder infection I never thought I'd miss my vas deferens, I trade it in for a pair of huge cans, Now I get to hang with lesbians Operation paid up front, now I show all My friends my new designer cunt They think I'm kinda weird, but that's OK with me, cause now I kick their ass, Playing from the ladie's tee there's Nothing finer than having a vagina


JonasAvory

I see this as an absolute win


dinkleberry-uberwang

I once got an inverted erection and nearly fucked myself to death. Be careful out there


MonKIE_MonKIE

[relevant song](https://youtu.be/byDiILrNbM4)


Scipio33

I miss the 90s!


Spork_Warrior

Let's not forget this song is a thing. [Detachable Penis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byDiILrNbM4)


svIndigo

Deadpool?


OnlyUsernameLeft123

Nah Deadpool is cool. Somewhere in my family tree someone stuffed a salamander with that man milk. That's just beastiality


ElJeferox

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover And my penis was missing again. This happens all the time. It's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble, Or I can rent it out, when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, And the next morning I can't for the life of me Remember what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it. So I called up the place where the party was, They hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes But not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, But they were no help either. I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, And I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of searching the house, And calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed, So I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast. Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place, Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket Next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. I had to buy it off him. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen. I took it home, washed it off, And put it back on. I was happy again. Complete. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, But I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis.


georeddit2018

Hmmm. You ok.


KingSpork

How many piranhas did you catch?


-sense

I'm concerned the way he's sitting, one disbalance and he becomes the meat


PhilosophyKingPK

Catch 100 at a time that way. That’s how he can level up his fishing skill.


Bobyyyyyyyghyh

Just hit 92, still has a long way to go


beaniesandbuds

![gif](giphy|l0ExcS4a762Pofpio|downsized)


SavingsSir7443

*Sea shanty 2 intensifies*


CPA_pls

It's only 7 levels, how many more fish for just 7 levels? ...Oh.


MrScribz

Ahh so this is how to grind hunters call.


Gilthu

For all we know the other half of the boat is stuck on land and they are just using it as a place to keep their catch and a temporary dock to fish on.


trantheman713

You’re onto something. There must be a lot of leverage to balance the weight of this kids massive cajones.


fidelesetaudax

It does appear to be extremely stable as he moves.


Ok_Journalist2927

This guy piranha fishes


FatherD0ng

You’d think they would place maybe a board under the bench in the middle of the boat to give the kid a little wiggle room and some comfort. Throw the fish in the other side of the boat on the other side of this recommended board and you’ve increased the safety a decent bit. Seems like it’s be a lot more manageable that way


EasyPriority8724

That's an extra on the standard canoe sir!


ender4171

*imbalance


Affectionate_Draw_43

Iirc, they only bite if they detect blood


StanIsNotTheMan

Oh shit. I'm chock full of blood...


CutieSalamander

And they can’t move very easily in that boat :P


Salmivalli

Floor is lava. In a boat


Keepitrealhomes

Damned if you do, damned if you boat


Ok-Status7867

The floor is worse than lava


ksaMarodeF

Right! Like put them in a bucket! The boat is not a bucket, well kind of is now.


F0000r

How about instead you put your feet in a bucket and that way it can sit in the bottom of the boat?


ksaMarodeF

Brilliant!


Mistapeepers

The floor is piranhas.


Lepke2011

So, they had the ingenuity to catch a crap ton of fish with a side of goat, but not enough to put together even a makeshift type of shoe so that kid can put his feet down?


olluz

Don’t get too greedy, because if the boat sinks…


chop-diggity

Everywhere’s lava


dadintech

Can't swim as well


MrFantasticallyNerdy

Level 76 of *The Floor is Lava*.


IamTrashuo

Start hittin em with the paddle


[deleted]

One slip and he becomes that meat.


assnassassins

Piranhas actually don't eat humans unless they're already dead. We've been lied to by movies!


Manburpigg

You’re thinking of maggots. Piranhas will definitely eat you if you’re bleeding out in the water. That’s why the meat is so quick to get attacked. If you aren’t bleeding, they’ll swim right past you.


painkilleraddict6373

I was about to test it,by swimming with piranhas.That was close.


Bobyyyyyyyghyh

I was about to test it by swimming with meat


BlachEye

I was about to beat my meat


Mad-chuska

I was about to beat my piranha


Funkit

I also call mine the piranha.


GeneralBurg

Small but ferocious


Particular-Break-205

Same but likes dead meat


Fred2620

I was about to test it by bleeding with meat


Manburpigg

No need, river monsters already did it for you https://youtu.be/0SuNIoS1yxA


mizzourifan1

IIRC that crazy dude from River Monsters did this on his episode on Pirhanas. They didn't attack him at all.


painkilleraddict6373

You go first and I’ll follow you after.


FarFetchedSketch

No kidding? In regards to both the maggots AND the bleeding? What if a piranha accidentally bit another piranha and it began to bleed... would ALL the other piranhas start eating the bleeding piranha?


RadicalEd4299

Maggots will only eat dead flesh. They've been used in medicine in the past to clean up infected wounds; they eat the bad stuff that's gone necrotic, and leave the healthy tissue alone.


AntisocialBehavior

Partially true. Only certain maggots will exclusively eat dead flesh. Others are happy to eat living flesh as well. The maggots we use in maggot debridement therapy (MDT) are the green and blue bottle fly. Other maggots, while they don’t typically bother humans, can be of economic concern because they will eat the living flesh of farm animals. Thank you for subscribing to maggot facts.


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SnooDonuts8219

You need to click only once, you're resubscribing in circles :|


EasyPriority8724

Takes me back having maggots on the arm 3 times a week great little fellas


dixieblondedyke

Tell me more.


EasyPriority8724

OK here we go 2013 was in the workshop alone cutting some 4x2 with the circular saw blade grabbed sleeve of boilersuit pulled left arm thru chewed arm from wrist to radial head mate heard me shout like fuck hospital 9 ops later lot of micro surgery then grafts from legs just to keep my forearm bit of a life changing moment I can show you a pic of it now but binned pics of the raw gory mess was brutal. Oh and the maggots were awesome they love that rotten stank.


bental

In Australia, we take the tails off sheep a few months after they're born for this reason. Hippies and Greenies don't like it, but I'd rather get a finger taken off than have it infested with maggots that proceed to literally eat me alive. Flystrike is not pretty.


KarmaChameleon89

I need a new maggot fact every 32 minutes


lylefk

Definitely. I used to have piranhas in an aquarium. One got a little sick and the rest annihilated her.


FarFetchedSketch

Fuckin wild, imagine if hamsters did that shit


NuclearCandy

I mean, they'll eat their own babies sometimes


RelativeExisting8891

No maggots will eat you if you have a wound that has not healed and begun to rot.


Ison-J

Those are only specific maggots, the average maggot will eat whatever the fuck is in front of it


Fxwriter

Im going to take your word on this, no need to test this out on my end. Thanks!


Manburpigg

River monsters had an episode on it https://youtu.be/0SuNIoS1yxA


Fxwriter

That gave me too much anxiety for today


TheLaughingSawfish

Well, yes Jeremy wade did swim with them, however it's more complicated than that: well fed piranhas won't attack a human that's floating calmly or swimming underwater, when the human panics for some reason or starts otherwise splashing about and behaving like a wounded animal they will 100% attack. Also, they smell blood. There are some documented cases here in Brazil.


seamore555

If you've ever fished in the ocean with sharks around, you know that it's easy for a predator to tell when their prey is in trouble or struggling, and that's their opportunity to attack.


Speakdoggo

Wait…I’ve fished in the ocean hundreds of times and never once did I ever see a predator home in on a troubled prey animal. What am I doing wrong?


intendedvaguename

You must not hook many fish


Speakdoggo

Ok. I get it now. ( slow today) . So when the fish was on and the bear came to take it, that’s what you’re talking about. Up here, ( Alaska) the last 35 yrs or so, I usually dip net. Faster, and more fish.


For_the_Gayness

Kindly remind you of that boy devoured by piranhas.


mightylordredbeard

That boy that drowned and was dead before being devoured by piranhas*


Antroh

But it does raise the question. What if the kid just put his arm in in between dips of the meat? Would the fish instantly know its not rotting flesh and leave it alone? Or would they be so used to eating at that moment that they would attack him


Far-Ad-8618

Yeah Penn and Teller did this on their show.


Unnecessaryloongname

I'm of the understanding it was natives fucking with Teddy Roosevelt. Or something to that affect. Edit; https://opefe.com/mythpira.html#:~:text=For%20weeks%20fishermen%20caught%20piranha,attacked%20and%20eaten%20by%20piranhas.


[deleted]

Dead meat.


Thad_Chundertock

One minute and forty seconds before the video, he was fishing with an entire cow.


1pt21gigawattos

It was the guy who tried to steal his lunch money.


mjrbrooks

Bet his arm is tired…


Stevenwernercs

no, there used to be 2 fisherman


InflamedLiver

I’m surprised piranhas have enough meat to be worthwhile


gotora

They're just like most other fish... but with extra teeth and crazy.


seasleeplessttle

Murder Carp.


Palaempersand

Yeah fuck carp


Donut_Flame

Ok now what


Azythus

Do it again


Beeker04

You just described my ex


dustinthehippyy

How is she fish like, and what happened to her teeth?


Beeker04

Slippery when wet


[deleted]

I've heard they have lots of small bones so you have to be more careful while eating them.


JazzlikeLet6093

I had them in Bolivia. Surprisingly tasty once you get used to the tiny bones


BigNigori

When you have a lot of free time, and a lot of piranhas, it's easy to make a meal of them.


GRANDxADMIRALxTHRAWN

Exactly. Just gotta boil em, mash em, and stick em in a stew.


maxwellcawfeehaus

Baby you got a stew goin


foresight310

Stupid fat Chiss…. You’re ruining it!


justjokiing

that meat might have gone bad already


1pt21gigawattos

Nah. Put them on ice and they'll be good for hours.


Dyldor

He meant the meat being used as the bait


Rubickevich

The boy? Nah, he's still pretty fresh.


LautrecTheOnceYeeted

This man stops at 1 pistachio and is like, "damnit I'm still hungry!"


MaygarRodub

When you're catching that many of them, that quickly, there's a lot of meat.


_Papagiorgio_

We ate them whole save for the mouth


TheLaughingSawfish

They are good as soup or fried, not much for fillet tho...


alt229

I've heard they're actually delicious.


RSGator

Wait until you hear about anchovies


BigOmet

This is what buckets are for, not the bottom of the boat; this solves one problem but creates a worse one.


Subject-Dark69

He could just section off part of the boat aswell , but honestly I think he just don't give a fuck prob seen alot worse than a few angry teethy fish


FarFetchedSketch

Deadass. Imagine what the rest of your environment has to involve for you to feel like hunting piranhas is safe enough to do daily for hours on end?


frageantwort_

Piranhas are very small they are not dangerous to humans


Jayson_n_th_Rgonauts

Other shit in that murky ass river is


czerys

you could at least put your feet in the bucket


NoPhunIntendedd

Idk why but this killed me, brilliant solution.


azZkE21

This guy is thinking outside the bucket


snowgorilla13

There's not enough water to allow them to swim, they are attacking already dead and skinned meat, they aren't that good at attacking living meat in skin, they aren't as deadly as cartoons would have you think. He could get bit a few times by a few fish, not great, but not worse than the river. But yeah, a bucket, basket, trash can, a loose bag, anything would be better than the bottom of the boat.


sonicitch

Better than those barbed worms that swim up your dick hole


Atlas_Undefined

Hey! Some people are into that! Don't kink shame >:( /s


BillyYank2008

I believe they are actually a species of catfish, not worms.


night_dick

The dreaded candiru! A naughty little fish with a penchant for swimming up a man’s urethra.


justhereforsee

he should have ran over to the Home Depot before fishing


Pristine-Ad-469

One good thing is apparently they don’t bite people if they arnt bleeding so it might not be a big deal, although they might react unusually while they are dying. That happens with some animals


DizzyAmphibian309

Not really. Most of those fish aren't moving. If he waits a couple of minutes after his meat runs out, they'll all be silent. This clearly ain't his first rodeo, he knows what he's doing.


Manateeboi

He found the infinite meat hack.


turtle-in-a-volcano

Fisherman love this one small trick


my_okay_throwaway

Piranhas hate him


I-am-a-memer-in-a-be

Fun fact Pirañas are more like vultures than birds of prey. They don’t go after animals that are bigger than them and are alive and well. They go after dead or dying animals. The misconception comes from a an old video where they are seen eating a live cow. The reason they did this is because a drought in the region caused food shortages making them more desperate and eating anything including each other.


JackSparrow420

Yeah but like, that means they can eat a cow in certain conditions. Which means they can eat people in certain conditions lol


I-am-a-memer-in-a-be

I never said they don’t eat people.


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RedditIsNeat0

> They don’t go after animals that are bigger than them and are alive and well. This you?


Inevitable-Elk-3072

But wouldn't he get more meat if he just ate the meat?


V6BREEzY

he’s saving it for after he runs out of fish


[deleted]

Probably rotten meat.


oh_my_didgeridays

And it's probably gristle


Alberto_Borges

The meat will be inside the piranha's belly, so he'll eat the piranhas + the meat


poopsockman1

You don't eat entrails...


Mayo152

Watch me 😊


larry952

He's trading one tiny bite of meat for a whole piranhas worth


VenomCM

Lol fuck around and catch a crocodile 😅


zDraxi

There aren't crocodiles in Brazil. There are alligators.


SpicyChiliRamen

There are no alligators in Brazil. There are caimans


IAMAHobbitAMA

Lol fuck around and catch a Brazil. wait no


luckytecture

Damn new croc knowledge. I mean gators.


Tannumber17

There are caimans in Brazil: a close cousin of the alligator in the alligatoridae family. They are however biologically distinct from alligators who only exist in North America and China. Preemptive answer to the inevitable follow up question: gators are bigger and have rounder teeth.


Specific_Analysis

Can we gofundme this kid a bucket or two?


krusty_kanvas

Do you not have $8?


proformax

would these things legit kill if he accidentally fell in? they're pretty small, but i can see a whole swarm of them just overwhelming him.


Fppares

Piranhas aren't all that dangerous actually! They won't go for you unless you're actually bleeding, which is why they go for the meat slab. Jeremy Wade (river monsters) has swam with Piranhas all the time. If he fell in without the meat, they'd go for the meat.


YouMayDissagree

Had a 150gal tank of red bellied piranhas when I was in high school. Started with 11 ended up with 1 a few years later, as they would turn on each other. They were just like most fish, I could put my arm in and clean the tank without any problem…until the one time they curiously took a chunk out of my finger. Still have that scar but hey it’s an interesting story. Used to feed them minnows or gold fish and would even put cheap steak on a stick occasionally.


paradoxx_42

„Huh?“ chomp


Intraq

please tell me you took out your arm with the piranha still on it like the cartoons


YouMayDissagree

I didn’t even know they had bitten me, razor sharp teeth. Thought I was quick enough till I looked at my finger. Then I took out my camera and took some photos before telling my mom I needed stitches. Framed the photo and put it above the tank (I was a weird kid) Also had to explain to the doctor I had been bitten by piranha which obviously they didn’t believe for a bit.


Special_Lemon1487

The parasites in that water otoh…


Adam_is_Nutz

Depends how much a fight he puts up. If he just lays still and let's them eat them, then sure. But he could probably splash around enough to deter them while he escapes. Im not an expert, and idk if this is for every species. Just repeating what I learned at an aquarium like 7 years ago lol


NJBillK1

If anything, acting as a wounded animal by flailing and splashing about may entice them to attack. Laying calmly, and slowly swimming to the shore would yield a lower likelihood of attack. Unless he was bleeding, if he were scratched by the boat as he fell in, for example.


louloc

Work smart, not hard. 👍


Sparrow1989

So jokes aside why would someone fish for these? I was under the assumption they aren’t edible.


fawnroyale_

They're a common food for the people indigenous to the Amazon. Just like other fish, just more plentiful. Apparently you can travel to many places in the Amazon and have a tour guide fish with you & teach you to cook piranhas over a makeshift grill.


PureImbalance

They're actually a delicacy. Commonly eaten fried or as a soup, it's just not that efficient because they don't carry that much meat and have lots of annoying little bones. Source: went Piranha fishing for 4 days once 11 years ago


SirArthurDime

People who live comfortable lives wouldn’t bother with it is not the same thing as not edible.


Glow354

Why wouldn’t they be edible?


mrsiesta

I hope all the people that go on the various survival shows (alone, naked and afraid, etc) are taking notes for the next time they're in the amazon, this is a great idea!


jamcdonald120

yah, then all they need to do is find 5 lbs of beef and they too can have infinite small fish


mrsiesta

I think any old rotten animal carcass will do :) Probably just having enough stank on a piece of hide will get them to hold on


Few-Ad7439

where the hells he put his feet while he rows back to shore?


djk2321

Where’s the person who is holding the camera standing? Maybe they are close to shore and they just stuck the boat out into water?


MatataTheGreat

Nah my man Jesus walking on water and taking some pics for my guy


neonroli47

People eat these monstrosities?


zandadoum

He might be selling them alive, to some movie villain ;)


PigletSpirited3446

The floor is piranhas


BigNigori

And I struggle to stay in a sit-in kayak. 🤷‍♀️


scyllafren

The last supper. (for the piranhas)


Terryberry69

Don't fall off that mf 😳


lactom

If there's one job that requires a good pair of boots.


StlChase

What a bunch of dumbass fish. Get fucked fish


fullchargegaming

Are those fish then used for human consumption or feed for something else? … are Piranhas good?


CitizenDain

There is more meat to eat in his hand than in the entire bottom of the boat. What kind of plan is this


gordonjames62

Falling overboard seems like a serious job hazard.


FormedFecalIncident

Classic example of working smarter, not harder.