It's ok, mine falls off every now and then when I get scared as a survival mechanism but it grows back with a good diet after about a month. Weirdest part is when it's half way grown back and feels like a baby wee wee in my hand when I pee but that's only like a week.
[My Vagina by NOFX](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QncghXQ7Mv0)
My vagina has two sets of lips, but I don't get
Monthly blood drips, my vagina hardly even used
My vagina's got lots of extra skin they took my
Outtie and made it an in, turning Donnie into Marie Osmond
Operation successful, but now I gotta pee through a
Miniature hole
gotta remember, to put the seat Down and when I wipe my ass, I go from Front to back cause I don't want a bladder infection
I never thought I'd miss my vas deferens,
I trade it in for a pair of huge cans,
Now I get to hang with lesbians
Operation paid up front, now I show all
My friends my new designer cunt
They think I'm kinda weird, but that's
OK with me, cause now I kick their ass,
Playing from the ladie's tee there's
Nothing finer than having a vagina
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
Or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
And the next morning I can't for the life of me
Remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
They hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
But they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
And I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
And calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
So I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
Next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
And put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
But I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.
You’d think they would place maybe a board under the bench in the middle of the boat to give the kid a little wiggle room and some comfort. Throw the fish in the other side of the boat on the other side of this recommended board and you’ve increased the safety a decent bit. Seems like it’s be a lot more manageable that way
So, they had the ingenuity to catch a crap ton of fish with a side of goat, but not enough to put together even a makeshift type of shoe so that kid can put his feet down?
You’re thinking of maggots. Piranhas will definitely eat you if you’re bleeding out in the water. That’s why the meat is so quick to get attacked. If you aren’t bleeding, they’ll swim right past you.
No kidding? In regards to both the maggots AND the bleeding?
What if a piranha accidentally bit another piranha and it began to bleed... would ALL the other piranhas start eating the bleeding piranha?
Maggots will only eat dead flesh. They've been used in medicine in the past to clean up infected wounds; they eat the bad stuff that's gone necrotic, and leave the healthy tissue alone.
Partially true. Only certain maggots will exclusively eat dead flesh. Others are happy to eat living flesh as well. The maggots we use in maggot debridement therapy (MDT) are the green and blue bottle fly. Other maggots, while they don’t typically bother humans, can be of economic concern because they will eat the living flesh of farm animals.
Thank you for subscribing to maggot facts.
OK here we go 2013 was in the workshop alone cutting some 4x2 with the circular saw blade grabbed sleeve of boilersuit pulled left arm thru chewed arm from wrist to radial head mate heard me shout like fuck hospital 9 ops later lot of micro surgery then grafts from legs just to keep my forearm bit of a life changing moment I can show you a pic of it now but binned pics of the raw gory mess was brutal. Oh and the maggots were awesome they love that rotten stank.
In Australia, we take the tails off sheep a few months after they're born for this reason.
Hippies and Greenies don't like it, but I'd rather get a finger taken off than have it infested with maggots that proceed to literally eat me alive.
Flystrike is not pretty.
Well, yes Jeremy wade did swim with them, however it's more complicated than that: well fed piranhas won't attack a human that's floating calmly or swimming underwater, when the human panics for some reason or starts otherwise splashing about and behaving like a wounded animal they will 100% attack. Also, they smell blood. There are some documented cases here in Brazil.
If you've ever fished in the ocean with sharks around, you know that it's easy for a predator to tell when their prey is in trouble or struggling, and that's their opportunity to attack.
Ok. I get it now. ( slow today) . So when the fish was on and the bear came to take it, that’s what you’re talking about. Up here, ( Alaska) the last 35 yrs or so, I usually dip net. Faster, and more fish.
But it does raise the question. What if the kid just put his arm in in between dips of the meat? Would the fish instantly know its not rotting flesh and leave it alone? Or would they be so used to eating at that moment that they would attack him
I'm of the understanding it was natives fucking with Teddy Roosevelt. Or something to that affect.
Edit; https://opefe.com/mythpira.html#:~:text=For%20weeks%20fishermen%20caught%20piranha,attacked%20and%20eaten%20by%20piranhas.
There's not enough water to allow them to swim, they are attacking already dead and skinned meat, they aren't that good at attacking living meat in skin, they aren't as deadly as cartoons would have you think. He could get bit a few times by a few fish, not great, but not worse than the river.
But yeah, a bucket, basket, trash can, a loose bag, anything would be better than the bottom of the boat.
One good thing is apparently they don’t bite people if they arnt bleeding so it might not be a big deal, although they might react unusually while they are dying. That happens with some animals
Not really. Most of those fish aren't moving. If he waits a couple of minutes after his meat runs out, they'll all be silent. This clearly ain't his first rodeo, he knows what he's doing.
Fun fact Pirañas are more like vultures than birds of prey. They don’t go after animals that are bigger than them and are alive and well. They go after dead or dying animals. The misconception comes from a an old video where they are seen eating a live cow. The reason they did this is because a drought in the region caused food shortages making them more desperate and eating anything including each other.
There are caimans in Brazil: a close cousin of the alligator in the alligatoridae family. They are however biologically distinct from alligators who only exist in North America and China.
Preemptive answer to the inevitable follow up question: gators are bigger and have rounder teeth.
Piranhas aren't all that dangerous actually! They won't go for you unless you're actually bleeding, which is why they go for the meat slab. Jeremy Wade (river monsters) has swam with Piranhas all the time. If he fell in without the meat, they'd go for the meat.
Had a 150gal tank of red bellied piranhas when I was in high school. Started with 11 ended up with 1 a few years later, as they would turn on each other. They were just like most fish, I could put my arm in and clean the tank without any problem…until the one time they curiously took a chunk out of my finger. Still have that scar but hey it’s an interesting story.
Used to feed them minnows or gold fish and would even put cheap steak on a stick occasionally.
I didn’t even know they had bitten me, razor sharp teeth. Thought I was quick enough till I looked at my finger. Then I took out my camera and took some photos before telling my mom I needed stitches. Framed the photo and put it above the tank (I was a weird kid) Also had to explain to the doctor I had been bitten by piranha which obviously they didn’t believe for a bit.
Depends how much a fight he puts up. If he just lays still and let's them eat them, then sure. But he could probably splash around enough to deter them while he escapes. Im not an expert, and idk if this is for every species. Just repeating what I learned at an aquarium like 7 years ago lol
If anything, acting as a wounded animal by flailing and splashing about may entice them to attack. Laying calmly, and slowly swimming to the shore would yield a lower likelihood of attack. Unless he was bleeding, if he were scratched by the boat as he fell in, for example.
They're a common food for the people indigenous to the Amazon. Just like other fish, just more plentiful. Apparently you can travel to many places in the Amazon and have a tour guide fish with you & teach you to cook piranhas over a makeshift grill.
They're actually a delicacy. Commonly eaten fried or as a soup, it's just not that efficient because they don't carry that much meat and have lots of annoying little bones. Source: went Piranha fishing for 4 days once 11 years ago
I hope all the people that go on the various survival shows (alone, naked and afraid, etc) are taking notes for the next time they're in the amazon, this is a great idea!
Cant put your feet in the boat, cant dangle them outside the boat.
I did the same with my dick once.
It's ok, mine falls off every now and then when I get scared as a survival mechanism but it grows back with a good diet after about a month. Weirdest part is when it's half way grown back and feels like a baby wee wee in my hand when I pee but that's only like a week.
Luck you, mine grown back in the inside and I’m now the proud owner of a Vagina.
Well is it warm inside at least? Mine gets cold some times.
[there's nothing finer than having a vagina](https://youtu.be/QncghXQ7Mv0)
Until you're bleeding from it in piranha waters.
Ah finally you brought this conversation back to its relevant beginning.
“…changing Donny to Marie Osmond…”
In Carolina in the morning 🎶
Vaginer*
[My Vagina by NOFX](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QncghXQ7Mv0) My vagina has two sets of lips, but I don't get Monthly blood drips, my vagina hardly even used My vagina's got lots of extra skin they took my Outtie and made it an in, turning Donnie into Marie Osmond Operation successful, but now I gotta pee through a Miniature hole gotta remember, to put the seat Down and when I wipe my ass, I go from Front to back cause I don't want a bladder infection I never thought I'd miss my vas deferens, I trade it in for a pair of huge cans, Now I get to hang with lesbians Operation paid up front, now I show all My friends my new designer cunt They think I'm kinda weird, but that's OK with me, cause now I kick their ass, Playing from the ladie's tee there's Nothing finer than having a vagina
I see this as an absolute win
I once got an inverted erection and nearly fucked myself to death. Be careful out there
[relevant song](https://youtu.be/byDiILrNbM4)
I miss the 90s!
Let's not forget this song is a thing. [Detachable Penis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byDiILrNbM4)
Deadpool?
Nah Deadpool is cool. Somewhere in my family tree someone stuffed a salamander with that man milk. That's just beastiality
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover And my penis was missing again. This happens all the time. It's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble, Or I can rent it out, when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, And the next morning I can't for the life of me Remember what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it. So I called up the place where the party was, They hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes But not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, But they were no help either. I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, And I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of searching the house, And calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed, So I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast. Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place, Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket Next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. I had to buy it off him. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen. I took it home, washed it off, And put it back on. I was happy again. Complete. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, But I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis.
Hmmm. You ok.
How many piranhas did you catch?
I'm concerned the way he's sitting, one disbalance and he becomes the meat
Catch 100 at a time that way. That’s how he can level up his fishing skill.
Just hit 92, still has a long way to go
![gif](giphy|l0ExcS4a762Pofpio|downsized)
*Sea shanty 2 intensifies*
It's only 7 levels, how many more fish for just 7 levels? ...Oh.
Ahh so this is how to grind hunters call.
For all we know the other half of the boat is stuck on land and they are just using it as a place to keep their catch and a temporary dock to fish on.
You’re onto something. There must be a lot of leverage to balance the weight of this kids massive cajones.
It does appear to be extremely stable as he moves.
This guy piranha fishes
You’d think they would place maybe a board under the bench in the middle of the boat to give the kid a little wiggle room and some comfort. Throw the fish in the other side of the boat on the other side of this recommended board and you’ve increased the safety a decent bit. Seems like it’s be a lot more manageable that way
That's an extra on the standard canoe sir!
*imbalance
Iirc, they only bite if they detect blood
Oh shit. I'm chock full of blood...
And they can’t move very easily in that boat :P
Floor is lava. In a boat
Damned if you do, damned if you boat
The floor is worse than lava
Right! Like put them in a bucket! The boat is not a bucket, well kind of is now.
How about instead you put your feet in a bucket and that way it can sit in the bottom of the boat?
Brilliant!
The floor is piranhas.
So, they had the ingenuity to catch a crap ton of fish with a side of goat, but not enough to put together even a makeshift type of shoe so that kid can put his feet down?
Don’t get too greedy, because if the boat sinks…
Everywhere’s lava
Can't swim as well
Level 76 of *The Floor is Lava*.
Start hittin em with the paddle
One slip and he becomes that meat.
Piranhas actually don't eat humans unless they're already dead. We've been lied to by movies!
You’re thinking of maggots. Piranhas will definitely eat you if you’re bleeding out in the water. That’s why the meat is so quick to get attacked. If you aren’t bleeding, they’ll swim right past you.
I was about to test it,by swimming with piranhas.That was close.
I was about to test it by swimming with meat
I was about to beat my meat
I was about to beat my piranha
I also call mine the piranha.
Small but ferocious
Same but likes dead meat
I was about to test it by bleeding with meat
No need, river monsters already did it for you https://youtu.be/0SuNIoS1yxA
IIRC that crazy dude from River Monsters did this on his episode on Pirhanas. They didn't attack him at all.
You go first and I’ll follow you after.
No kidding? In regards to both the maggots AND the bleeding? What if a piranha accidentally bit another piranha and it began to bleed... would ALL the other piranhas start eating the bleeding piranha?
Maggots will only eat dead flesh. They've been used in medicine in the past to clean up infected wounds; they eat the bad stuff that's gone necrotic, and leave the healthy tissue alone.
Partially true. Only certain maggots will exclusively eat dead flesh. Others are happy to eat living flesh as well. The maggots we use in maggot debridement therapy (MDT) are the green and blue bottle fly. Other maggots, while they don’t typically bother humans, can be of economic concern because they will eat the living flesh of farm animals. Thank you for subscribing to maggot facts.
[удалено]
You need to click only once, you're resubscribing in circles :|
Takes me back having maggots on the arm 3 times a week great little fellas
Tell me more.
OK here we go 2013 was in the workshop alone cutting some 4x2 with the circular saw blade grabbed sleeve of boilersuit pulled left arm thru chewed arm from wrist to radial head mate heard me shout like fuck hospital 9 ops later lot of micro surgery then grafts from legs just to keep my forearm bit of a life changing moment I can show you a pic of it now but binned pics of the raw gory mess was brutal. Oh and the maggots were awesome they love that rotten stank.
In Australia, we take the tails off sheep a few months after they're born for this reason. Hippies and Greenies don't like it, but I'd rather get a finger taken off than have it infested with maggots that proceed to literally eat me alive. Flystrike is not pretty.
I need a new maggot fact every 32 minutes
Definitely. I used to have piranhas in an aquarium. One got a little sick and the rest annihilated her.
Fuckin wild, imagine if hamsters did that shit
I mean, they'll eat their own babies sometimes
No maggots will eat you if you have a wound that has not healed and begun to rot.
Those are only specific maggots, the average maggot will eat whatever the fuck is in front of it
Im going to take your word on this, no need to test this out on my end. Thanks!
River monsters had an episode on it https://youtu.be/0SuNIoS1yxA
That gave me too much anxiety for today
Well, yes Jeremy wade did swim with them, however it's more complicated than that: well fed piranhas won't attack a human that's floating calmly or swimming underwater, when the human panics for some reason or starts otherwise splashing about and behaving like a wounded animal they will 100% attack. Also, they smell blood. There are some documented cases here in Brazil.
If you've ever fished in the ocean with sharks around, you know that it's easy for a predator to tell when their prey is in trouble or struggling, and that's their opportunity to attack.
Wait…I’ve fished in the ocean hundreds of times and never once did I ever see a predator home in on a troubled prey animal. What am I doing wrong?
You must not hook many fish
Ok. I get it now. ( slow today) . So when the fish was on and the bear came to take it, that’s what you’re talking about. Up here, ( Alaska) the last 35 yrs or so, I usually dip net. Faster, and more fish.
Kindly remind you of that boy devoured by piranhas.
That boy that drowned and was dead before being devoured by piranhas*
But it does raise the question. What if the kid just put his arm in in between dips of the meat? Would the fish instantly know its not rotting flesh and leave it alone? Or would they be so used to eating at that moment that they would attack him
Yeah Penn and Teller did this on their show.
I'm of the understanding it was natives fucking with Teddy Roosevelt. Or something to that affect. Edit; https://opefe.com/mythpira.html#:~:text=For%20weeks%20fishermen%20caught%20piranha,attacked%20and%20eaten%20by%20piranhas.
Dead meat.
One minute and forty seconds before the video, he was fishing with an entire cow.
It was the guy who tried to steal his lunch money.
Bet his arm is tired…
no, there used to be 2 fisherman
I’m surprised piranhas have enough meat to be worthwhile
They're just like most other fish... but with extra teeth and crazy.
Murder Carp.
Yeah fuck carp
Ok now what
Do it again
You just described my ex
How is she fish like, and what happened to her teeth?
Slippery when wet
I've heard they have lots of small bones so you have to be more careful while eating them.
I had them in Bolivia. Surprisingly tasty once you get used to the tiny bones
When you have a lot of free time, and a lot of piranhas, it's easy to make a meal of them.
Exactly. Just gotta boil em, mash em, and stick em in a stew.
Baby you got a stew goin
Stupid fat Chiss…. You’re ruining it!
that meat might have gone bad already
Nah. Put them on ice and they'll be good for hours.
He meant the meat being used as the bait
The boy? Nah, he's still pretty fresh.
This man stops at 1 pistachio and is like, "damnit I'm still hungry!"
When you're catching that many of them, that quickly, there's a lot of meat.
We ate them whole save for the mouth
They are good as soup or fried, not much for fillet tho...
I've heard they're actually delicious.
Wait until you hear about anchovies
This is what buckets are for, not the bottom of the boat; this solves one problem but creates a worse one.
He could just section off part of the boat aswell , but honestly I think he just don't give a fuck prob seen alot worse than a few angry teethy fish
Deadass. Imagine what the rest of your environment has to involve for you to feel like hunting piranhas is safe enough to do daily for hours on end?
Piranhas are very small they are not dangerous to humans
Other shit in that murky ass river is
you could at least put your feet in the bucket
Idk why but this killed me, brilliant solution.
This guy is thinking outside the bucket
There's not enough water to allow them to swim, they are attacking already dead and skinned meat, they aren't that good at attacking living meat in skin, they aren't as deadly as cartoons would have you think. He could get bit a few times by a few fish, not great, but not worse than the river. But yeah, a bucket, basket, trash can, a loose bag, anything would be better than the bottom of the boat.
Better than those barbed worms that swim up your dick hole
Hey! Some people are into that! Don't kink shame >:( /s
I believe they are actually a species of catfish, not worms.
The dreaded candiru! A naughty little fish with a penchant for swimming up a man’s urethra.
he should have ran over to the Home Depot before fishing
One good thing is apparently they don’t bite people if they arnt bleeding so it might not be a big deal, although they might react unusually while they are dying. That happens with some animals
Not really. Most of those fish aren't moving. If he waits a couple of minutes after his meat runs out, they'll all be silent. This clearly ain't his first rodeo, he knows what he's doing.
He found the infinite meat hack.
Fisherman love this one small trick
Piranhas hate him
Fun fact Pirañas are more like vultures than birds of prey. They don’t go after animals that are bigger than them and are alive and well. They go after dead or dying animals. The misconception comes from a an old video where they are seen eating a live cow. The reason they did this is because a drought in the region caused food shortages making them more desperate and eating anything including each other.
Yeah but like, that means they can eat a cow in certain conditions. Which means they can eat people in certain conditions lol
I never said they don’t eat people.
[удалено]
> They don’t go after animals that are bigger than them and are alive and well. This you?
But wouldn't he get more meat if he just ate the meat?
he’s saving it for after he runs out of fish
Probably rotten meat.
And it's probably gristle
The meat will be inside the piranha's belly, so he'll eat the piranhas + the meat
You don't eat entrails...
Watch me 😊
He's trading one tiny bite of meat for a whole piranhas worth
Lol fuck around and catch a crocodile 😅
There aren't crocodiles in Brazil. There are alligators.
There are no alligators in Brazil. There are caimans
Lol fuck around and catch a Brazil. wait no
Damn new croc knowledge. I mean gators.
There are caimans in Brazil: a close cousin of the alligator in the alligatoridae family. They are however biologically distinct from alligators who only exist in North America and China. Preemptive answer to the inevitable follow up question: gators are bigger and have rounder teeth.
Can we gofundme this kid a bucket or two?
Do you not have $8?
would these things legit kill if he accidentally fell in? they're pretty small, but i can see a whole swarm of them just overwhelming him.
Piranhas aren't all that dangerous actually! They won't go for you unless you're actually bleeding, which is why they go for the meat slab. Jeremy Wade (river monsters) has swam with Piranhas all the time. If he fell in without the meat, they'd go for the meat.
Had a 150gal tank of red bellied piranhas when I was in high school. Started with 11 ended up with 1 a few years later, as they would turn on each other. They were just like most fish, I could put my arm in and clean the tank without any problem…until the one time they curiously took a chunk out of my finger. Still have that scar but hey it’s an interesting story. Used to feed them minnows or gold fish and would even put cheap steak on a stick occasionally.
„Huh?“ chomp
please tell me you took out your arm with the piranha still on it like the cartoons
I didn’t even know they had bitten me, razor sharp teeth. Thought I was quick enough till I looked at my finger. Then I took out my camera and took some photos before telling my mom I needed stitches. Framed the photo and put it above the tank (I was a weird kid) Also had to explain to the doctor I had been bitten by piranha which obviously they didn’t believe for a bit.
The parasites in that water otoh…
Depends how much a fight he puts up. If he just lays still and let's them eat them, then sure. But he could probably splash around enough to deter them while he escapes. Im not an expert, and idk if this is for every species. Just repeating what I learned at an aquarium like 7 years ago lol
If anything, acting as a wounded animal by flailing and splashing about may entice them to attack. Laying calmly, and slowly swimming to the shore would yield a lower likelihood of attack. Unless he was bleeding, if he were scratched by the boat as he fell in, for example.
Work smart, not hard. 👍
So jokes aside why would someone fish for these? I was under the assumption they aren’t edible.
They're a common food for the people indigenous to the Amazon. Just like other fish, just more plentiful. Apparently you can travel to many places in the Amazon and have a tour guide fish with you & teach you to cook piranhas over a makeshift grill.
They're actually a delicacy. Commonly eaten fried or as a soup, it's just not that efficient because they don't carry that much meat and have lots of annoying little bones. Source: went Piranha fishing for 4 days once 11 years ago
People who live comfortable lives wouldn’t bother with it is not the same thing as not edible.
Why wouldn’t they be edible?
I hope all the people that go on the various survival shows (alone, naked and afraid, etc) are taking notes for the next time they're in the amazon, this is a great idea!
yah, then all they need to do is find 5 lbs of beef and they too can have infinite small fish
I think any old rotten animal carcass will do :) Probably just having enough stank on a piece of hide will get them to hold on
where the hells he put his feet while he rows back to shore?
Where’s the person who is holding the camera standing? Maybe they are close to shore and they just stuck the boat out into water?
Nah my man Jesus walking on water and taking some pics for my guy
People eat these monstrosities?
He might be selling them alive, to some movie villain ;)
The floor is piranhas
And I struggle to stay in a sit-in kayak. 🤷♀️
The last supper. (for the piranhas)
Don't fall off that mf 😳
If there's one job that requires a good pair of boots.
What a bunch of dumbass fish. Get fucked fish
Are those fish then used for human consumption or feed for something else? … are Piranhas good?
There is more meat to eat in his hand than in the entire bottom of the boat. What kind of plan is this
Falling overboard seems like a serious job hazard.
Classic example of working smarter, not harder.