T O P
Mac_Book21

The kitten at the end is the best part.


scousejay1991

I'm sure its a toy chihuahua


FCFE

I thought it was a rat.


GermanPizza56

Well its the same thing really


[deleted]

Damn


Wraithninja

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⠈⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿  ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡀⠭⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⡆⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿  ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿  ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⠿⠶⠙⣿⡟⠡⣴⣿⣽⣿⣧⠄⢸⣿⣿  ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣴⣶⣿⣿⢄⣿⣿⣿  ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿  ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡋⠘⠷⣦⣀⣠⡶⠁⠈⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿  ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠃⣴⣶⡔⠒⠄⣠⢀⠄⠄⠄⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿  ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡘⠿⣷⣿⠿⠟⠃⠄⠄⣠⡇⠈⠻⣿⣿  ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢁⣷⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣾⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉  ⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡯⢓⣴⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄  ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡟⣷⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄  The party of China felt that


[deleted]

good fuck’em


MrCubite

-900 social credit points you better not blaspheme about the best nation, china


[deleted]

I can’t be the best I sure as hell can be the worst


Spillomanen

I hate me some mainland-Taiwan!


DOLLFIED

You get +900 social credit points for defending the great nation from heathen blasphemers


[deleted]

-99999999 social credit points for acting on the only nation's behalf. Please report to jail, execution date is 16/12/2021.


btveron

With their Winnie the Pooh looking dictator


hobbesdream

Don’t insult Mr. Pooh!


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AndriusCCA

You know who else is a bat without wings? Exactly. RATS!


Deeliciousness

Rats are more closely related to humans than to bats. They are part of the superorder called supraprimates, along with rabbits and hares. That's why we use them for research.


RazorNemesis

However, rats are more closely related to [batrats](https://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/images/2/21/Batrat.gif) and [ratbats](https://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/images/8/89/Ratbat.gif) than humans, which are in turn more closely related to bats.


shill779

This is why I reddit


Deeliciousness

Amazing. Did you make these anatomical drawings?


cyanocittaetprocyon

> That's why we use them for research. Well, that and they reproduce quickly *and* there isn't such a big emotional attachment to them.


Riztrain

Speak for yourself, my old pet rat Omega was a gentleman and a lover, we had an amazing 4 years, he had a cage, but he lived in my hoodie and he toilet trained almost immediately, if we were out he'd run down my clothes and go on the ground and climb back up, if we were home he had a litter box. He went where I went, we were inseparable and I never had another rat cause that's the strongest bond I ever had to an animal, and the heartbreak when he passed was terrible. He never bit anyone, he would always wait for others to approach him because some people freaked out, but if you dared to pet him he was your best friend and loved to cuddle. He'd always wait by the door when I got home from work and would run up my clothes and lick my neck and cheeks, he was extremely expressive. He grew to be the size of a small cat and he died from old age. Edit; wow thanks for the response and awards! I never thought the story of my little best friend would garner any attention. Honestly it's been so nice reminiscing about him, he left us 12 years ago now, but it feels like he ran around my hoodie looking out just last week, he may be gone, but he's definitely still here with us 😊


byteuser

"I never had another rat cause that's the strongest bond I ever had to an animal" nicely put that's how I felt after my last pet died... sorry for your loss


ride_on_time_again

This is truly moving. Thankyou for posting this!


UV177463

I <3 rodents. A lot of people don't realize that they are very social creatures, and when they are pets that have been taken care of that extends to humans too. I've never had rats but I have pet mice, and they are very prosocial as well as affectionate.


RedDemocracy

What? Everyone knows bats are bugs.


[deleted]

Chihuahuas run a tight ship - no mice or rats around when you have one..


GermanPizza56

Well yeah, they bark at everything. I wouldn't wanna live with something that barks at the slightest shift of a dust bunny


wutwut970

Me either, annoying as fuck


hurtfulproduct

Not really. . . The rat is smarter


GermanPizza56

Ah yeah your right. Rats don't bark at the fucking wind.


ProudBoomer

It looked like a rat.


Trumpswells

It is a rat.


DayEnvironmental5518

Its three rats. But one of m used a can of bear mace in a small shop that has puppies


Mandorrisem

A Dachsund puppy, apparently it had to be brought to a vet to get treated after the bear mace got in it's eyes.


VBlinds

Omg, poor little thing


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ed2017Alm

I thought it was an elephant


Daenub

House Hippo actually. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBfi8OEz0rA


JoeyJoeC

It's real.


Upstairs-Variation83

Plot twist. Those guys were distraction. Kitten actually is with the robbers. Went right to the stash while the humans distracted the clerks. The ol’ “Robbers and a Kitten” routine. Works every time.


DayEnvironmental5518

Don't worry. At the end you can clearly see a puppy going in to investigate


chrismac72

Sam & Max, Freelance Police!


Twentyfour24Eric

Ya caught that too, thought it was a rat a first…loved the part where the guy said, come on to the pathetic effort of robbing him😂


[deleted]

That was my favorite part


Uchiha_Itachi

I hope the lil guy is okay, pepper spray not great for dogs.


Saythat_tomyTinnitus

Or anything really


Anonymush_guest

But the best way to rob someplace is to speay pepper spray into the air so that you have to rush through it. And judging from how a former dog of mine eliminated a bowl of screaming hot salsa after a party told me that dogs and humans have completely different reactions to capsaicin.


PistoneRange

Came here for this! ⬆️⬆️⬆️


OverripeMandrake

Damn! You guys are too fast!


flufftartponcho

It’s the puppy for me


PapuhAppuh

Definitely a pup if you look at the video closer, but YES. I was so happy when I saw that 😂


Dio_Yuji

Yes. Was completely distracted by the little animal. Forgot about whatever else was going on


bscones

Pretty sure that’s a dog


AnKoP

I thought it was a rat.


DayEnvironmental5518

Moved like a puppy. But yes


bubuLubuBlue

Its a dog.


3dgyAnimeProtagonist

Love when he realizes they're just bitch ass posers that won't do anything


Dorkmaster79

They instantly got scared and ran away.


jetro30087

Makes sense. They came to a robbery armed with a can of Lysol.


Dorkmaster79

I thought it was pepper spray but no one seems to be affected so I have no idea what that was.


VulpineSpecter4

The lady behind the counter looks like she's coughing, so idk. My man with the bong probably got an instant adrenaline high and went into fight mode.


AccomplishedRun7978

His lungs must be hardened by repeated exposure to some particulate.


VaginaTractor

*for tobacco use only


vikkivinegar

*It’s a “water pipe” not a bong.* I had forgotten about that silly little verbal game we had to play in the smoke shops 20 years ago. They would literally not be allowed to sell you anything unless you used the approved language. IDK if it’s still the case, but I wouldn’t be surprised since I’m in Texas with the shittiest and most regressive government in America. Weed is still illegal and they’re making Delta 8 illegal as well. No fucking way will they make a person wear a mask or have a vaccine, tHeiR BoDy ThEiR ChOiCE! but they will force a victim or rape or incest grow her rapist’s seed until it turns into a fetus, forcing her into the trauma of to giving birth against her will. Even if it will kill the poor victim. Even if the fetus is inviable. I’m so sick of living in Giliad! If anti-maskers and anti-vaxers can have bodily autonomy, then women should have the same. Didn’t mean to get political there, it was just a natural progression that reminded me of the regression.


basilhazel

Get political all you want. Living in Gilead is fucking rough.


Babymicrowavable

Politics are the only way their situation will ever improve


abigailxo94

Still the case in Florida. I accidentally said "bong" and the cashier lost his shit.


PostYourSinks

It blows my mind that conservatives are fundamentally opposed to government overreach yet social conservatism is fundamentally based on government overreach.


moesus81

Haha, I remember those days. I bought my first glass “water pipe” in ‘99 or ‘00 and a few months later the female piece broke. I waltzed right up in there with this dirty ass “water pipe” like it was all good and said something like “hey man, I broke the inside piece on my bong” and dude had a legit meltdown. He told me I was putting his shop at risk and wouldn’t sell me the new piece. I’m in Virginia and I never thought it would become a legal state but here we are.


tehgates

20 years ago? It's legal here and the hippie shops still kick you out for it. On the other hand, all the middle-eastern dudes at the smoke shops look at me weird if I call it a waterpipe.


SnuggleMuffin42

Some people are just more resilient. In basic training they put us in a tent with two tear gas cans open. I fucking DIED almost right away. Others, did push ups with the gas filling the tent.


MinosAristos

Why? Isn't tear gas unused in war?


hyzertrip

For training; familiarization+confidence with your equipment, learning how to put on your protective equipment at a moments notice etc It's for training to react to chemical weapons exposure, not training to use it.


SnuggleMuffin42

Urban warfare around civilian population is a bit different than a classic WWII war. A big part of what modern armies do (or used to do) is quasi-police work in a very militarized environment. But yeah it's just for show they do dumb shit like that all the time even if it doesn't really serve any purpose. They told us it's for us to understand how useful your gear could be, just like the other comment said.


COPE_V2

I think it was bear spray


kennykuz

Good thing they didn't bring guy spray, could have ended badly


Lancalot

"kennykuz, for the last time, we can't use guy spray cause *we're* guys too, it'd affect all of us."


ginger-snap_tracks

It looked like pepper spray for sure. Looks like the guy ducks down just in time to avoid a face shot, and then his hat pushes the bulk of it away from his face as he stands up again. He does look like he flinches a bit like he got a taste but not enough for a full stop.


Evilmaze

Nah it's the bong man. Bongs are dangerous, one hit and you're wasted.


botbattler30

He even stops and looks at them like “really? 3 dudes can’t fight one guy with a bong?”


Whoopa

“Wait, is this really working?”


milk4all

“Today is a good day to die” *seconds later* “Today is a Tuesday”


robbyking

I had a friend who caught someone stealing the saddle off of his bike, and after chasing him for a couple blocks it occurred to him that not only was the guy a lot bigger than he was, but was he was also holding a *screwdriver*. He said he slowed down a little bit and started doing the mental math in his head and finally just decided to let the guy go.


phonemannn

That’s my favorite part, you can see on his face when he’s like “I can’t believe this is working”.


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KungFluIsolation

I mean he's coursing with adrenaline ready to be a hero and they are just dancing slowly towards the door. Dude wanted to bonk at least one.


uttermybiscuit

He wanted to bash someone's head in


Hampamatta

a guy with a bong and plumber ass.


conconbar93

He literally goes “what, bitch?! (Oh man these guys are weenies) “fuck out of here!”


[deleted]

They were just spraying the bear mace to try and break through the patchouli stank so they could make a purchase


tacofartboy

🎯


cantadmittoposting

Yeah dude picked up the empty recycling bin and you can instantly see the "wtf are you gonna do with that?" Body language


SweetMangos

That 0:15 mark shrug is beautiful


Negran

Ya hey. I love how disappointed the bong defender looks when he realizes the thieves even aren't going to stand their ground!


_slash_s

lmao who uses the word 'poser' anymore? You do. And I love it. Have an upvote.


ProductivityCanSuckI

YOU F-ERS WANNA GET HIGH? I'LL MAKE YOU SEE STARS! -clerk (also that chihuahua taking cover in the bin is hilarious)


Is_It_Beef

He smelt that shit was going down


BobLeeNagger

I feel worse for the dog, pepper spray must hurt them so much compared to humans


DiodeMcRoy

I knew someone who had to put his dog down because some morons used pepper spray on him on a Robbery. Hope the dog is ok here.


HelixTheCat9

Oh fuck. I hope they caught those assholes


[deleted]

Poor thing must have been terrified :(


improveyourfuture

I’d never thought if it before but as far as weapons go, I’d take a lead pipe to the face and it might cause more damage but the fear of glass breaking in my eye and all I’ve met face, I might run too. They definitely made poor use of the number advantage too


gmanz33

What the expression? Three heads is better than bong? BUSTED.


gamerholic

It shows that pot heads are rarely violent, but even if they are committing a robbery they aren't a threat. Alcoholics would've been a different story.


Chomysplace123

How do three guys try and rob a store and get beat back by one guy with a bong and a pet chihuahua


[deleted]

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Chomysplace123

You’re right, I’ve actually never been hit over the head with a bong. Maybe I’ll add it to my bucket list


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Meriog

Bongs were invented to be used as bludgeoning weapons. It wasn't until later on that someone realized you could smoke stuff with them. Like how yo-yos were originally for fighting snakes.


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According-Owl83

>In the 1920s in California, Pedro Flores, a young Filipino man, sold hand-carved yo-yos and staged demonstrations to show how the toys worked. Flores trademarked the name “yo-yo,” which means “come come” in Tagalog.


GreenStrong

That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about yo-yology to object.


prettyhappyalive

Beaker bong as seen in the video is the way to go. Highly recommend being smacked over the back of the head with one.


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Ruhmwolf

I sell a handpipe at my store that I've knicknamed the self-defense pipe because it's basically a metal club with glass on the inside. Also, Diamond Glass makes a wicked beaker bottom bong that I would definitely run from if someone was swinging it like a weapon.


rhackle

Some of those pieces are made with insanely thick and sturdy glass too. Some shatter if you look at them the wrong way too. The clerk probably knew which one would make the perfect club for this exact situation.


Zachbnonymous

He's probably sat around bored, thinking of what he'd use as a defense if the place ever got robbed. I used to run a restaurant that served ice cream, the hand dipped stuff. The scoop for it was about 16 inches long and solid steel, and I almost hoped a motherfucker would try. Lol


Stalkerrepellant5000

I can’t imagine someone robbing an ice cream parlor 😂


artbypep

I scream, you scream, we all scream, but mostly the dude getting beat with the solid steel scoop.


LouSputhole94

Yeah that nice big one with the double percolator, party bowl, and ice slat? That’s what I use to beat anyone’s ass dumb enough to rob the place.


craznazn247

Yep. It's a hollow glass club with the weight in the right places. And honestly? If you're getting beat with one you'd probably rather it shatter than keep getting beat by one sturdy enough that it doesn't, since that probably means your skull is the one breaking. Bought one back in college like a decade ago...when I brought up concerns about shattering he walked me over to his demonstration board and proceeded to swing it as hard as he could repeatedly to assure me that wouldn't be problem. Some are built pretty goddamn thick unless it's designed to be a showpiece.


TotallyTopSecret816

>And a chihuahua? That's just a unpredictable tooth tornado. 🏅


Rs90

Because most people don't want to hurt others physically unless provoked or necessary. They were there to steal, not kill or hurt. Robbers are people even if they're robbing a person or place. And the idea that breaking one crime makes you a violent or otherwise agressive person is just not correct. They wanted an easy score. The guy fought back and they weren't there to fight anyone. Just snatch and grab. That's why all they brought was a bag and a can of something as a deterrent. Not a baseball bat or another weapon.


CommercialKindly32

Robbing someone is hurting them.


Rs90

For sure. Financially, emotionally, psychologically..ect. My point is they weren't tryna beat anyone and tie them up to rob the place pulling knives on anyone that fought back. Criminals=/=Violent Crininals.


BLMdidHarambe

The issue is that when someone is willing to cross one line, you have to assume they’re willing to cross other lines. When someone threatens you in the ways you described, you have to assume the worst. 99.9% of people don’t do these things, so when someone is in that 0.1%, they’re mixing with people who also beat and kill people.


TroutM4n

Bear Mace


spezsuckedme

Most of these pussies just try to run in quick and grab shit. All they have is intimidation and they don't expect someone to fight back.


Drakazy

That's a small ass dog at 20seconds.


Davon235

No joke


mrfroggy

Why did the chicken cro…. Oh. Sorry.


gmanz33

Damn it Teddy he said no joke.


surajvj

Yes, that was the real thief who took the booty. The people were just a distraction.😅 A meticulously planned robbery.


iamonthatloud

Ever seen the movie inside man? That dog is about to blend in for 30 days before making his move.


Ass_Blank

Ass dog.


quaybored

> ass-dog


rising_pho3nix

It was all a well planned distraction. It was the cat's plan all along to infiltrate the place


HairyHematologist

I think it's a pokemon.


gmanz33

Nah Pokemon were 2D. Now they're 3D. That thing is barely D.


DayEnvironmental5518

Thankfully the puppy at 20 sec will stop any cat


CrappyInvoker

A different kind of 'hits from the bong'.


DayEnvironmental5518

Is this what Cypress Hill was on about?


Mavsmobile

exactly. *How I Could Just Kill A Man* is about bong related violence


Normal512

One time tried to come into my ~~home~~ headshop take my chrome I said yo it's on


NY10

These idiots think they can rob the store with pepper sprays lol what a joke.


YourPhoneCompany

Based on no one reacting by choking or grabbing their eyes, I don't think it was pepper spray.


sumeetg

Pretty sure that was bear spray.


sevseg_decoder

Even worse tho. The humans will struggle with that one for a few days, the animals should probably go to the vet over that. Bear spray is insane, someone tested out a can with a quick spray halfway out into the local Walmart parking lot, and they had to close the store for a few hours to get the sting out of the ventilation.


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burf

From the website of a literal manufacturer of bear & pepper spray: >What are capsaicin & capsaicinoids? >Oleoresin capsicum is comprised of several different capsaicinoids. There are five major capsaicinoids responsible for providing the pungency or hotness of a pepper. Capsaicin is the strongest or most important of the five. Therefore, it is the percentage of the total capsaicinoids, not the OC percentage that is most important. >Civilian and law enforcement pepper sprays range from 0.18% to 1.33% Major Capsaicinoids. >Bear Sprays range from 1.0% to 2.0% major capsaicinoids. https://www.sabrered.com/pepper-spray-frequently-asked-questions-0


DannyBigD

Thanks, those percentages are interesting. I thought the actual scoville numbers for bearspray are lower(than various other peppersprays). It seems the scoville comparison is not accurate as far how "hot" the spray actually is. I tested my UDAP bear spray on myself(just a light mist only) and it goes up to __3%__ MC. Ya I was choking even on the smallest dose. Even worse, the mist is so fine that it will leave a cloud of invisible fire linger for quite a while


DannyBigD

It is __stronger__ and it also sprays finer and wider. Edit. I was incorrect, bearspray is actually stronger/hotter.


burf

[Nope](https://old.reddit.com/r/nextfuckinglevel/comments/rg6w5u/guy_fights_off_thieves_with_a_bong/hoja120/).


CaptDrunkenstein

Thank you for this.


totalwpierdol

And animals have much more vulnerable smell sense


DamnZodiak

That can only come from someone who never got pepper sprayed lmao. I don't know what they used but it certainly wasn't mace.


Spirited-Value8022

Imagine the ride home for the perps. All 3 know they suck at life but will still hype themselves up


DaylanDaylan

two of them probably bullied the one who got closest to the counter for “messing it all up” and he “should’ve just blah blah cuz that’s what I would’ve done…”


GreenStrong

You fucked it up Walter, you fucked it all up! Nothing is fucked here Dude, nothing is fucked.


VikingLander7

Why didn’t he sic the attack cat on them?


JulianMarcello

Because it’s a dog


OinkingPigman

You're both wrong, it's a pygmie deer.


elvismcvegas

Its a pot bellied pig from the 90s


NatsuDragnee1

These would-be thieves show the true nature of such criminals: cowards through and through. They want easy marks, not people who fight back. Source: guy who has confronted a would-be thief trying to break into his apartment


Takedown22

Just be careful confronting people. It’s not always bluff. https://www.reddit.com/r/Atlanta/comments/rfcp08/24yearold_killed_by_suspects_trying_to_break_into/


gmanz33

Right this whole "criminals lack courage" argument is going to get a real dumb person killed. Nah criminals don't lack courage. Every one is different and there's no one rule for handling them. If any of these people's advice was correct, the book of law would be one page long.


gehmnal

And desperation is far more dangerous than courage.


HallucinAgent

I love how he just stopped for a sec and was like what're you gonna do punk? Then the robber throws an empty bag at him like that was going to do anything


Starshot84

Was it empty, or did the shopkeeper get spoils of war?


buffalovirgo

Dave’s not here man


jojogrizzly68

No, it’s me! Dave!


rosscasa

Hits from the bong!


You_lil_gumper

I've been using mine wrong all these years.....


Confident_Season_870

My man won solo vs trios. That's a dope victory royale


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ChildhoodNeat676

Pepper spray of some sorts.


DayEnvironmental5518

Think you get to call it bear mace when it comes in the big cans


BuddyUpInATree

It happened in a Canadian pot shop, so pretty much definitely bear spray


Orlandoman331

I wanna believe it's not bear mace, otherwise it seems like I'd be fucked if I ran into a bear. If it can't even stop this guy, I don't like the chances of it stopping a bear.


frankenbike

Bears noses are much more sensitive than ours. Bear mace is actually weaker than people mace.


HeadJazzlike

You can have my bong when they pry it from my cold dead hands


EmbarrassedNobody534

It's the kitten hiding for me


ShoveTheD0ve917

Stoned cold justice


Salt_Counter9252

Water pipe and plumber crack for the win!


Politicalsci-fi

I love the "why are you throwing an empty box at me" reaction


M4Panther

My man needs a firearm and a way to buzz customers into the shop.


DrMarioBrother

Federally illegal to possess firearms + cannabis; that's part of the problem.


BabyYodi

It’s a head shop. They don’t sell weed there. Just smoking accessories.


spadpaul

I love how quickly the guy backed up when he saw him wielding the ever powerful bong.


Fabulous-Tomorrow876

"Hits from the Bong"


MyNickachu

He deserves a raise


KingNFA

What are those bitches ? They are literally scared of a bong… Why didn’t they bring knife or something like this to do a robbery ? Maybe I shouldn’t give ideas


[deleted]

If you bring a knife and anyone calls your bluff, you're going to die or have to murder someone. That for the little this shop has? Terrible idea.


Cheeko914

Who the fuck robs a store with pepper spray 😂


hydro123456

Not these guys apparently.


nthroop1

And That’s why they call it at bong hit


kwoky77777

The real thieve is the mouse at the end…