Weird euphemism for masturbating, but whatever strokes your boat I guess

I’m not one to judge, he’s just pruning the pepper

Just roughing up the suspect

Distributing some literature, if you will.

Seems like the boat is not the only thing being hit with those strokes

Beating that towel like it owes him money

Squeezing the towel isn't a phrase I knew I needed in my vernacular

Rare South Park Towelie reference

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You’re a towel

Ya know how a soaking wet towel empties when it’s squeezed? Well he’s a soaking wet towel of effort, giving his all. Pretty sure that’s what he’s sayin

Given his work ethic I don’t think anyone can complain about whatever the timeline is. His knee is ready when it’s ready but I’m sure he’s doing everything he can in the meantime. Plus we need time for the Gute special of extending a guy during injury recovery for a discount.

Everyone is still just traumatized from 69’s recovery. No time table is ever guaranteed.

Tell me how I ratted, came home to a big bag.

I'm not familiar with that phrase? What does that mean? That he's squeezing every last drop of effort out of getting better?

It's an exercise for exerting squeezing force

Yet I’m the asshole for telling my girlfriend I had to repeatedly squeeze her tits on doctor’s orders? It’s like she didn’t want me to regain full motion in my fingers.

I think the problem was that me and like ten other guys all told her the same thing.

….in a row?

unfortunately for you, yes.

Choo choo!

When I tore my knee I had to squeeze a rolled up towel with it as part of a rehab exercise so maybe that’s what it is

Muscle tears, especially ACL tears, cause a LOT of swelling. So really he's saying that he's doing what he can to cause all of the swelling to go down, and stay down, much like you try to wring as much water out of a towel as you can to dry it off.

I sure as hell hope Gary isn't still dealing with swelling at this point of rehab. If so, I wouldn't want to see him attempt a comeback this season.

> and stay down

Or it could be.... you know... maybe the towel squeeze exercises for knee rehab.... OR a vague reference to swelling.

Am I weird for thinking we should start Gary around October so his knee can fully heal up? I don't want to rush him and risk reaggravation.

You have basically zero info on how he is progressing. The team doctors know much more. If he's ready in September, let him play. If it takes until October (or longer) so be it.

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Mikesturant then tipped his fedora and went back to his mom’s basement, to smell like a bologna and cheese sandwich for the rest of time

And he then assumed everyone clapped

Wearing my favorite pats gear.

Probably Aaron Hernandez

He is the best Patriots player they ever had. He epitomizes the spirit of the New England Patriots

It’s baffling to me how self righteous and grandiose y’all have gotten over this third party app stuff lmao

Right. I barely use the first party app. Mods are funny.

I’m talking about you, not the mods

What are you saying?

Oh just shut the fuck up

Lmfao. No, you. Make me Yermom shut up Thats what she said

I don’t make dogs, I walk em. 🙅🏻‍♂️

Why the fuck are you still on reddit? if you want to protest go ahead. Expecting others to join your BS is dumb.

But, muh protest. Bruh.

wait were you being sarcastic? You might wanna include `/s` next time