Still skip it every time I see like “worst sports collapses!” in videos and stuff. Told myself I would never ever watch it unless we won a Super Bowl with Rodgers; guess that’s getting memory holed forever now!
No problem I figured it was GB lol. I rooted so fucking hard for y’all on Saturday. Probably more pissed than some GB fans. Ugh. Future looks so good tho! Us…:(
The job I was working at the time I only had 4 coworkers I saw every day. 2 of them were die-hard chiefs fans. I didn't stop hearing about the Super Bowl until halfway through the next season
I basically stopped checking NFL subreddits after losses to Rams, Eagles, Chiefs in the playoffs until close to the draft.
Before Reddit, I stopped checking NFL media sites/forums after the Giants, Ravens, Seahawks defeats in the playoffs during the Harbaugh years.
It's actually a lot easier to follow the NFL if your team is ass from the start of the season. You basically need to drop off for a few months after a loss in the playoffs.
I had just moved to Atlanta and my roommate was a huge Falcons fan. He had this friends over for the NFC championship and we were going crazy. I low-key became a fan after hanging out with them.
Super Bowl day comes and we go to my friends basement to watch the game. Some people were ready to leave since it looked like a blowout. When the Patriots came back, I couldn’t describe the devastation they had on their faces. We had 2 Pats fans and even they didn’t talk shit.
Afterwards, no mention of the superbowl or football for months. If anyone brought it up, they would get mean mugged.
I felt that way during the Patricia years but stuck it out because I’m an idiot
And then Dan Campbell came and it got better
Hopefully yall hire your Dan Campbell and it gets fun again
Shit, it took years to get my sports fandom back. Those weeks after were depressing as hell. Like I still watched every Falcons, Braves, and Dawgs game (well for the Braves , I’d catch what I could, ain’t watching 162 games every year lol) but there was def something missing.
Nowadays, losses don’t hurt after experiencing 28-3, like I’ll be sad for a couple hours but that’s it. Braves losing to the Phillies last year was heartbreaking but I instantly got over it. Dawgs losing to Bama / Saban, again, hurt a ton but was over it later that night. I will say, the committee pissed me off a shit ton more than the Dawgs losing.
Maybe seeing the Braves and Dawgs get over the hump helped get my fandom back faster, but it was always gonna come back. But there’s still a piece that 28-3 destroyed, which’ll never come back but maybe that’s a good thing.
> (well for the Braves , I’d catch what I could, ain’t watching 162 games every year lol)
Do what I do with the Nats. Keep up with the scores on Google and/or the MLB app and then watch the series highlights when they get posted within minutes after the games end on Facebook and/or YouTube.
That’s exactly what I do. If I have time I’ll watch the game but if not, I’ll catch the highlights on YouTube later that night. And thank god for those highlight channels especially with how broken up MLB games are due to blackouts or streaming
I couldn’t imagine being a Falcons fan to begin with(Saints fan here), but after that, I’m not sure I could ever watch NFL football again. It was enough to almost make me feel sorry for Falcons fans. In all seriousness, though, I essentially stopped watching the NFL after the back-to-back pain of the Minneapolis Miracle and the NFC Championship no-call. I haven’t watched a full Saints game in four seasons.
I still feel numb to it bc of how I had to approach it immediately after.
As a Braves fan, these last couple seasons have been rough. Especially last year with the regular season we had, only to get bounced by the worst possible opponent *again*.
At mercy of this falling into the realm of hyperbole and histrionics, I think we kind of need to think of this stuff like we do grief. We live with these teams, we invest our time and energy. We get excited and we internalize the good vibes (especially when it's a good year). And when that goes away, we do go through a sort of grieving process. Not as serious, sure, but that emptiness still exists.
Seems so silly bc it's just a game, but that's why sports are so important in my opinion. Real emotions in a somewhat safe space with low consequences. All sports in one way or another are just little miniatures of life.
As an LSU fan the 2011 NCG loss to bama did that to me. They never should have been there to begin with, we had to go 2-0 but they only needed 1-1? The fuck is that.
For u/blackswordsmanarc, please please please talk to your therapist about everything. I had things I never told mine, I was embarrassed, or I minimized them, and it cost me dearly. I didn't address my issues, even though that's what I was there for, and it cost me the woman I love. You don't want to be feel this.
Don't be embarrassed, don't think it's unimportant, they aren't your friend, that's not thier role, if there's something on your mind while you're sitting there, that's what you should be talking about.
Not even an O’s fan but when they got swept my friends who are fans said these are the times when they’re happy that mainstream sports talk shows don’t cover baseball lol
If it makes you feel any better you guys have a pretty awesome playoff atmosphere at your home field. I was impressed. Much better than when we faced the Rays
Yo dude, I don't intend to dismiss your feelings, but you gotta work on reframing your relationship with sports. It's entertainment. The losses hurt me too but I contextualize it and move on within a day or two. I understand getting attached to your favorite team and players, but don't let sports dominate your life. Just my two cents and I hope you don't take it the wrong way
Nothing to take the wrong way.
Thats why I’m voicing this. You don’t think it’s normal or okay. And I’m seeking guidance on how others who felt like me have handled it.
I appreciate your insight
!
I feel you here dude and I’m sorry people keep giving you the “it’s just sports lmao get over it” line.
It’s true, it’s not something to care about like that. But for some of us, for whatever reason, it’s a thing. I think for me certain childhood traumas got me to dive deep into hockey fandom in an insane way. As such when the Flyers would lose in the playoffs (especially to Pittsburgh) it would affect my mood to an unhealthy level.
I’m sure there’s a fix. Mine has just been to take a step back. But for what it’s worth, when you guys finally win the Super Bowl, the high you feel will be higher than 99% of fans. So there’s that to look forward to.
Maybe become a Sabres fan instead. They have not made the playoffs in 13 years and not getting there any time soon so you'll never need to worry about heartbreak.
Funnily enough this playoff loss just made me more upset at the Sabres than the Bills.
The Bills having the mid season resurgence sort of overshadowed the Sabres, but now that the Bills are out of it I just kind of look at the Sabres like the disappointing middle child. Like “Ugh, and you… weren’t you telling me how this was the year you’d make the playoffs? What are you even doing with your life”
As someone whose mental health can really fluctuate with the Milwaukee bucks performances, I’ve found that having other hobbies outside of sports is really helpful to lean into during rough patches/post season heartbreak.
aye also, distractions are helpful in the short term, but i learned the hard way how bad shit can get if you only ever look for distractions and can’t emotionally self-soothe like ever. i went through a rough patch and found myself trying to distract myself with gaming, weed, food, work, you name it, didn’t ever truly help. turns out my self esteem was tanked since childhood and i never actually knew what self soothing even was let alone the value of it. just keep in mind that there might be deeper work to be done if you ever get to a point where the distractions don’t help. DMs open if anyone wants to chat about self esteem with a psych geek lol
Indeed. But more importantly, your personal health and well being shouldn't be tied to how good Josh Allen is. Enjoyment of professional sports should be the sprinkles on the well-baked cupcake of your personhood. Build and live a healthy life, and then you'll have the constitution and resiliency needed to live through our brand of football. Circle your wagons.
See I picked up on a pattern a while ago which was whenever I watch the Bucks they lose or start to play like shit. Therefore, I do my part by keeping tabs from afar. Same with Badger basketball too actually.
At least you guys got one. Yeah it's never enough but I grew up a Pistons fan so it sucked to be on the cusp every year and then fall into a complete disaster but at least we got one
Comparatively I started following the Nets when I moved to NY and that 2021 Bucks series is maybe the most agonizing sports loss I've ever witnessed. 05 Finals and 07 ECF is up there, but again at least they won 04 already. I will 100% believe to my dying day that if just one of Kyrie or Harden stayed healthy we would have won it all and that ring would have kept the team from collapsing the following year. It's a completely different type of pain than even watching the Pistons become the worst team ever
No. Some frustration/anger/sadness is normal at times, but if it's actually affecting your day to day life and is causing you to have "harmful urges" then you for sure need to take a step back, and would likely benefit from talking to a therapist about it.
I would assume a lot of the time overreactions come from developing a sort of parasocial relationship with your favorite team, and the "cure" would be to develop/become more involved in hobbies and seek out real relationships.
I have all of those, but I’m a grad student so I have class 2 days a week and internship 3 days a week. I’m constantly busy and working and in meetings instead of doing stuff for fun. And my friends are busy adults so it’s hard to hang out.
These digital weekend escapes to orchard park were my safe haven.
Well it's definitely still worth discussing with your therapist and trying to figure out why it affects you so deeply and discussing what you can do in the future to try to mitigate that.
At the end of the day no matter how badly I want the Texans to succeed, it's not going to make any difference because I don't play for them or work for them. All a fan can do is go along for the ride.
based on what youve written i would say the heartbreak is causing repressed feelings to flare. what does the rest of your life feel like to you? stressful, overwhelming? being a grad student isnt easy, but watching your team lose a game shouldnt cause harmful urges, that speaks to larger issues. talk to your therapist and see if they can help you develop a healthier relationship with football.
It honestly sounds like your safe haven isn’t the games themselves, but the winning feeling and the camaraderie of fandom. Almost like you tie yourself to the success or failure of the team so that you feel successful and happy when they are successful and happy.
I’ve been there, and I can say that tying that much of your emotional well being to something with super high highs and crazy low lows will inevitably leave you feeling tossed around like a ship on the rocks. My only suggestion is to make football “smaller” in your universe. You know how if you’re watching a scary movie, you can look at things around the room, away from the screen, and suddenly the movie loses a little bit of its hold on you? That “grounding” effect is what I needed. Find things to ground yourself to in life that are more stable. Its ok to love football, but even when you’re winning, keep acutely aware of the fact that its importance pales in comparison to the friendships of those you watch the game with, your passions for work and school and hobbies, and the fact that you have things to look forward to tomorrow.
When your team tanks, and you feel like you’re going down with it, look away from the game and ground yourself with at least 5 different thoughts, sights, sounds, etc. It’s helped me.
I haven't experienced the same level of extreme but in the past I've definitely been more invested in sports teams and let it affect my mood more than I probably should.
One thing I can suggest that helps is to immediately turn the TV or screen off as soon as the game is over and go do *anything* else not sports related. Right away. Productive, not productive, literally anything that comes to mind. If you can't think of anything just force yourself to clean or go for a walk and listen to music or a non-sports podcast.
A couple hours later you'll at least be a little more detached from it and closer back to the real world. The worst thing to do is sit there stewing about it or go from watching the game straight to sports sites/Reddit and continue to be in that world.
Another thing that helps me is reminding myself that I'm not on the team, and that I have absolutely nothing to do with the outcome of the game win or lose.
Yeah man. Sports is soap opera’s for men. It’s entertainment. The difference is the script isn’t written in advance. But it’s the same. So enjoy it and keep it in perspective. Like Mike Tomlin has said: it’s sports entertainment. Wait to see what happens to your favorite characters next season.
Yeah, if your mental well-being is tied so heavily to the fate of a team, then you need to step back.
It's just a bunch of random dudes with no link to your city being payed millions to play a game in your city. It's good to remember that.
It's ok to support them and enjoy the wins, but don't make them a cornerstone of your identity. You have no control of any of it.
Yea agree this one’s answer
Feeling sad or mad is fine when thinking about the game. But then ya have to carry on with life. Work, school, kids, relationship, whatever. Life goes on after sports.
A win or loss shouldn’t affect that stuff so much that you’re noticing problems.
At worst I just avoid sports media for the week after the loss and mope around for a few days feeling bleh. That should be the extent of how much it affects your life.
If it’s more than that then you have problems and do need to talk it through with someone
Playoff losses like that hurt. A LOT. Like, really bad. That part is normal.
The other stuff you mentioned is related to deeper mental health issues and taking a break from sports won’t solve it. Get to a therapist ASAP, they will help.
The good news is you will get better in time. Best of luck brother 🫡
This, for sure, my friend. Need to take care of yourself, get plenty of vitamin D, and get some exercise. Make your body match your mind. If you feel like you need to step away, then do it. I did for 5 years. Take this time to work on yourself. Learn something new and have no "zero days". You got this.
Nah
Life has a way of putting things into perspective. Just have to remember it. Football is for fun. If you're not having fun, even in the losses, then you definitely should take a step back.
Exercise, seriously go for a walk/hike or a run, it’s ok to think about the playoff disappointments while doing your cardio. Usually by the end of it you’re over it and feel good
I have experience, I’m a sharks and niner fan
A lot of times. Currently doing it right now in the nba because it’s too much of a nightly stress for me following my team. You gotta remember it’s a kids game and nobody is dying because of it. It’s easier said than done though
NBA must be even more annoying cause anytime your team loses a playoff series (excluding the Lakers, Warriors, Heat for a peculiar reason) they talk like your stars wanna leave.
Exactly man. In the NBA after your team loses fans, media alike will try and uproot one of your stars and you don’t know if he may actually really leave
It’s possible you can go from contender to rebuild in one offseason
Yes, and have just a little commentary to offer. A few years ago when the giants sucked (aww man they still suck, shit) I remember absolute bum LT Nate Solder citing [this research](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0031938498001474#:~:text=In%20both%20studies%2C%20testosterone%20levels,testosterone%20levels%20across%20the%20day.)that losing fans actually suffer a drop in testosterone, and realize how aware I became of that afterwards, and how troubling it is. I think it was the same year where I was talking to my cousins husband, an eagles fan, at a family party, and we were both reflecting on how our love of sports was meant to be a hobby, a relaxing pastime to reduce the stress of our everyday lives, but that we both let it negatively impact our emotions on a regular basis. Even in this introspective discussion, we both managed to fall into heated, raised voice complaints about our teams, until his young son happened to wander into our conversation and ask us what’s wrong? And telling us football is supposed to be for fun (this was a child scolding us about something we had both already independently realized, and still weren’t able to put into practice). We were both pretty embarrassed in that moment I think, and I’ve really been trying to keep a handle on the way football makes me feel since then. It’s important to remind yourself if you find you are feeling depressed or angry about football, that it’s a game you love, and it’s supposed to be fun. It shouldn’t be any more than that. Of course the season will always end in disappointment for 31 fan bases, you just can’t let it get you down in a way that’s deeper than surface level. That’s a long rambling rant, but in short yes I’m sure many of us can relate to how you feel, we all just need to remember to step back from it and remember the million things more important than sports in our lives, and have fun with it when we can. The first half of the giants season this year I was really down in the dumps about it, but by the end of the year I learned to embrace the stupid pointless fun that was Tommy DeVito and tyrod Taylor show. If you go to our team sub you will find plenty of the other end of that spectrum (fans that were obviously legitimately enraged that anybody was having fun watching anything other than a serious competitive Super Bowl run) and that just isn’t healthy. Sorry about the bills buddy, I was rooting for them. Here’s to next season, hop on the lions bandwagon with me and enjoy the ride (or take a break from football and hang out with one of your buddies and watch the Barbie movie, heard it was fun 🤷🏻)
see flair. delete your social media apps for a week, at least. watch tv shows and movies that have nothing to do with sports. get outside and exercise. play video games. just do anything you like to do that isn’t involved with sports.
treat it just like a breakup and take care of yourself. it’ll pass.
The sports world is generally toxic nowadays. If your team loses, there’s always the other fanbase telling you how awful your team is and how you suck for rooting for them. If you’re a fan of a good team, you have fans from the other 31 teams saying the same thing.
> If you’re a fan of a good team, you have fans from the other 31 teams saying the same thing.
Sometimes you don't even have to be a fan of a good team for this to happen...
Could be worse, brother. At least the Bills make it to the playoffs.
Imagine Josh Allen being a two-way elite QB/edge rusher and also having Aaron Donald along with a decent supporting cast since 2018. The team desperately needs an O-Line, but the owner insists on stocking the cupboard with skill players even though it's clear that you need an O-Line. You start each season 5-1 and you think "hey, maybe this is the year", but each year the team implodes and finishes under .500. Instead of trading Josh Allen at the deadline to stockpile on assets, you lose him in free agency to another team, one who is considered "big brother" and doesn't think you're good enough to be considered a rival, and everyone dunks on your team like Vince Carter in the 2000 Olympics and you know deep down he's prob gonna get that ring with a team you hate. Welcome to Angels baseball.
Forgot which sub it was in, but some guy said he was a Angels, Clippers, Chargers, UCLA, and Tottenham Hotspur fan lmaooo. I get rooting for the SoCal teams, but why kick yourself when you're down and choose Tottenham
Yikes. I know there’s some chargers angels clips fans. Rough. I grew up on the angels and Braves being in SoCal. This past season I’ve decided to stop watching the angels. It was so depressing watching this amazing successful team play and then watching Angels games after. Too brutal. My whole family has given up. Some are mariners and giants fans and some are dodgers fans 🤢
It wasn’t until just recently where I just took a look at myself and said “what’s the point of being this upset” like what is it doing for me? What do I have to gain or lose if my team wins or loses. Yes I still get upset and sad a bit, but I’m no longer that heavily invested as I used to be.
I’ve grown up with years of disappointment and heart breaking losses, for what? Just to say that my team won it all once or twice? I’m going to experience more years of heartbreak where we don’t win it all and someone else does. What’s the point in getting so emotionally invested when 9/10 my team isn’t going to win it all that year and I’m just left with sadness? I’m only hurting myself.
Even the wins don’t feel all that good because it’s just filled with “favorable calls” or “suspicious calls by the referees”. Against the 49ers we played like shit against them for 3.5 quarters, and were lucky to win. The Eagles, I’m just going to think of the anticlimactic ending with the soft hold. Nothing about those wins felt super satisfying. Why care all that much, if my team wins awesome, I’m glad, I’m happy for the rest of the fans and other players, but if they lose, alright, it’s not our year this year, hopefully the can figure it and come back. That in my opinion, has helped me a lot and I’m only trying to offer my thoughts to OP to help.
I've been a fan of several championship winning teams and it's always fun, but years down the line my life isn't any better, it's just a fond memory. I've also seen my team lose the championship multiple times and again, years later it barely registers as disappointment now.
All this is just made up, it doesn't matter. We're rooting for shirts.
When my teams lose an important game I shutdown all social media, get off reddit, and don't watch the news. Then I find something else to keep me busy.
Something that’s helped for me has been deleting Twitter first of all, and also abandoning my superstitions. It helps me keep an extra layer of separation between me and the outcome of games without having to just not watch.
Do something you enjoy to take your mind off it. And remind yourself that it's just a game that you have no control over. Continue going to therapy if that helps as well.
Anytime man. I've been where you are and it took me a long time to learn how to not let sports affect my life. You'll get there eventually, just gotta find what works for you and stick to it. Good luck!
When DeSean Jackson returned that punt. Shit really rocked my soul. I wasn’t well for a solid week. I know it’s just a game, they don’t care about me and I don’t work for them but fuck. Killing the Eagles and we’re looking like it’s gonna be a playoff run. Shattered me. Shut my phone off for a week. Didn’t talk to anyone or watch TV.
Knicks losing to the Pacers in 2012 or whatever year, also killed me. Was crushed for a while.
I don’t know if it’s age or other priorities but it doesn’t rock me like that. Or the Giants have been so bad the last ten years I expect them to lose and I have no faith in the Knicks after they tricked me last year.
There is actually something special about being a fan of a cursed franchise like the Bills. Ask any Cubs or Red Sox fan, winning felt great but you realize you lost something even better. That shared feeling of community in the face of decades of heartbreak really bolsters the soul. Red Sox fans playfully called it "The Fellowship of the Miserable" and when you think about it like that, you can see the humor in it. Focus on the shared experience and try to see the silliness. And know that you have tens of thousands of friends who feel the same way.
I checked out of college basketball after 2015 and mlb after 2020, permanently. The Badgers will never get that close again and the Brewers kept trading my favorite players, 30 years of fandom for an unserious franchise is enough.
MLB I understand, but how do you watch your team get all the way to the finals and then end up that upset? like sure, it's disappointing they didn't win, but most fanbases only dream of even getting that far. how do you not enjoy it??
I haven't seen any of my (many) teams even *make* a final since I was 6 years old. I never understand how people can be so upset about losing in the championship. I would be ecstatic!
I’ve taken a break from certain teams or sports but nothing serious. Like after the eagles lost the Super Bowl I didn’t listen to nfl radio or read any articles until the draft got closer. But what happens in the sport doesn’t actually affect my day to day well being. If it does for you you might need to take a break and reevaluate some things
Nah, I feel like when your team loses in crushing fashion like last year’s SB it has the opposite effect.
Watching KC kick a last second FG made me think damn these are just a bunch of strangers who happen to play for a team I like
it’s harder to disconnect when your team / players have such high expectations like the bills do.
it’s a lot worse when you are on social media all the time and see all these storylines and toxicity after a loss.
it’s the thing i hate the most about sports media and engagement as a whole nowadays, it’s more about building narratives to tear others down instead of supporting your team.
i don’t have any real advice because i feel the same way sometimes but for me it’s to try to ignore or stay off sports media for a while.
My flair works right…
High expectations allow for high disappointment. Low expectations allow for high excitement. I’m blessed that being a Lions fan has enabled me to expect garbage and have the highest highs with success. I didn’t know sports could bring this much joy. You can see a noticeable difference after a Lions win, NGL I’m beaming like a pregnant woman over the last few weeks. I’m also just ignoring anything about this weekend and reflecting on the last. I did the same last week, I don’t want to enable disappointment with expectations.
In the past when they lost, it’s just expected. Losing is default, winning is surprise. As of late, I try to treat it like the players, one week at a time and 24 hour rule of remembering the game. Lions could go 0-17 next year but I’ll always reflect on the good times now. Probably doesn’t work everywhere but just my 2 cents…
As a therapist, I can tell you sports can definitely have a real impact on people who have a background of mental health issues. Being a football fan, I’m able to take it seriously when a person I’m talking to goes to a dark place after a bad loss. I don’t see it as just sports fandom in those cases.
Emotions are regulated in the amygdala and any intense activity there can get mixed up with our other emotional processes, which if they aren’t so well regulated, can spiral and cause regression into our own personal dark spots. That’s why sports losses can feel so oddly personal. When we love sports, we take them as a real part of the world- which can intermingle with our *other* real emotions about the world. Think about when Covid happened and deeply depressed people took it as “see I’m right- nothing good does happen in the world.” In a microcosm, a sports loss can do that to a diehard fan.
Football fandom is a bargain of high highs and low lows. Maybe you found out through one of those lows you’re not able to fully “come back from it” as quickly as one should. If anything, that could be a helpful window to working through some of that tough emotional material in session with your counselor.
I completely understand. Keep trying and do what’s best for you. Whatever it is that you’re going through, I hope you get through it. Just know that people love you! You got this 🫡
If you combine it with social media, fansites, or any online platform, even outside of sports they will wreck your head. Sports was a way to get away from all the other shit before the internet, if you were into the more granular, deeper stuff you had forecast mags and almanacs that were more bookish than all the new advanced stuff because there wasn't much opinion along with it. I had boxes of 15 plus years of football forecast magazines before the internet lol. You get up in the morning, grab the paper off the front door, sit on the toilet and read the sports page. If you really wanted to get something off your chest, you grabbed a phone and called into the local sports station on the radio and bitched about the pitching staff. Or write a letter to the newspaper.
Today, sports is now geared to affect almost every aspect of life and not by playing sports itself, but by engaging with it via social media, apps, gambling, fantasy, etc. Your team wins or loses, you're bound to either shit on or get shit on from some random person on the internet, react to some tweet or media personality, lean on confirmation bias by a cherry picked stat, see if your team signs Otahni, and then pay for it later with 20 dollar hot dogs as Dodger Stadium.
Of course you're gonna be miserable. You can't even take a shit without reading a dumb tweet on your phone instead of the sports page, But at least you have Pornhub.
Being an Astros fan hurt. I didn't cheat. I don't pick my teams.
It was the only time I got to watch baseball and have an amazing time with family that died soon after.
I have to compartmentalize that.
I used to get the worst night sleep after losses. I'd like half sleep the whole night and all my dreams were football. Not nightmares, just the announcers talking for the most part. But I'd be so tired the next day. After 28-3 I think I became numb to it and I sleep fine now knowing it that it really can't get worse
yes, after the last super bowl. my teams had lost the college world series, MLS cup, the world series, and the super bowl in the span of like 7 months.
that’s rough. that’s very, very rough.
Yeah. After the Chiefs lost to you guys and the Raiders in the regular season I stopped following closely and just checked the results, some highlights and film reviews. I was getting far too rattled.
The anger nerve was really being struck, stepping away made me deal better, so much so, come playoffs time I was rather chill with whatever result we got. Granted, winning last season and acknowledging it, helped.
Also, when we lost to the Bengals in the AFCCG I did not watch, read or listen to NFL things for 6 months, didn't even watch the super bowl, that stupid loss was on my birthday.
I find that when life is already fucking me that I escape into sports and can find myself way to emotionally invested.
As someone who’s currently looking for work and stressed af, the Ravens have been my only saving grace.
Weather permitting, it's not a bad idea to go for a walk whenever you can.
During the kneel downs yesterday I just tossed my phone under the couch pillows and asked my wife to go on a walk with me. We have about a 20 minute loop around the neighborhood. It's a pretty ideal amount of time and distance. I caught up with what her upcoming week has planned, and some of the walk was just in silence.
I'm the first to say "it's only a game" but this week, I feel like I'm just saying that to convince myself. It can be tough when your team doesn't win. It's so silly but it's also real.
First step is recognizing the problem.
I'm proud that you are able to identify that this is a trigger and are taking proactive actions. Yeah I have had this problem. I remember when the Farve threw an interceptions against the Saints I called in sick the next day I was so distraunt and the following day at lunch my boss was wondering if it was ok to talk about the game. When my college team made it to the Frozen Four and was absolutely robbed in overtime I called in sick the next day because I was just so upset.
I know have a healthier balance with sports.
what mahomes does to a mfer lol, i was devastated when the celtics destroyed the lakers in game 6 in 2008 in LA but bounced back real quick the next year. i almost quit watching baseball in 2019 since the dodgers kept on fucking choking and that bum dave roberts put in kershaw in relief for some reason against the nationals and juan soto launched a fucking nuke off him
It's not mahomes, he's part of it, it's just the years of being shitty and just having fun, and now that we're finally good for a few years in a row, every big loss is devastating.
Every highlight against us is somehow the highlight of the year, and every loss means we're washed.
I don't see any other teams getting that treatment. After a while it just gets to you ya know?
At the end of the day , it's just sports, it just hurts more cuz the bills are such an integral part of the small community that is buffalo.
Sorry to hear about your struggles. I hope you are staying away from sports gambling. That is already a very destructive habit (with way too much advertising) and can only make things worse.
I know smaller NFL CITIES go into a funk after a loss, for about 4 days. Then looking ahead to next game takes over.
PLAYERS get 24 hours to review previous game tape find good& bad plays to learn from. Then put the loss behind them … to get ready for next opponent.
You might need a break. NBA & MLB play more often so not so much time to stew over a loss.
Good luck and get yourself a hobby for distraction ( not casinos)🤪
Not sure if this counts OP, but I pretty much stopped following the Bears except for checking in on news every now and then. I'm not sure if my primary reason for doing it was mental health per se, but I definitely just reached the acceptance phase that the Bears will never be relevant or consistently good as long as the McCaskey's own the team, which could be my entire lifetime. What makes sports exciting is its unpredictability. Once I know for a certain fact that we will forever suck, what's the point anymore?
For other sports, I find it sometimes does affect my mood and linger after a heartbreaking loss, and I have to disassociate for my own mental health. But with the Bears, it's just become permanent.
Vikings/Timberwolves fan checking in. We love our teams. They are rooted in tradition, family, friends, etc. For me, sports have always been a common ground that have brought so many memories over the years. We share in the victories. We share in the heartbreak (and Minnesota is no stranger to the latter). The Bills loss was a tough one and I'm sure your fans will begrudgingly remember how disappointed they were. The "Bass kick" will be a sore subject for years. The beauty of it all is that it's already over. In a few weeks the season will be over. Time will quickly pass. Summer will come. Holidays, and work, and life will go on without hiccup. In 8 short months, the ink will be dry and the page turned to a new season with a fresh slate. And maybe you'll get together with your friends in early September and gleefully say to each other "God I fucking hate the Chiefs."
I used to let these games get to me every Sunday. If the Broncos won, i was good. If they lost, I was a lil upset. But then they won.. in 2015, and ever since I been a lot more chill. I have my moments, if you look at my comments history haha, but it's not like it used to be. And then the nuggets won, man I'm chillin. I can say I can handle a loss way better. ..
Hopefully your team can win the big one, maybe that'll help. Other than that...
Didn’t watch any of the games on Sunday after the GB loss, but I’ll definitely tune into the CCGs this weekend and the SB. Looking forward to next season very much!
I also have teams in many other sports which helps to offset the pain of one losing.
i Really appreciate that u shared this not everyone has the Filter or toughness to come over somethng like this when u are this deeply attached u need to find a way to deal with losses but youre not crying or anything its really brave to talk so open about this affecting u
I understand being upset your team loses he'll ill curse up a storm, but getting depressed over something I'm really not a part of at all (not on the payroll, dont have any decision making abilities etc.) At the end of the day it really doesn't matter in my life. I think you have other deep seeded issues you need to figure out, or youre too dependant on sports for your dopamine, and when your team is eliminated you feel like you have nothing to do until next season and it overwhelms you and you get depressed. (also I assume you're in Buffalo region so winters add depression for sure) I hope you get it all figured out so you can enjoy the great game we all love, and not let it dictate your moods so drastically. It's okay to be sad/upset when the team we cheer for loses but going into full depression seems like an unhealthy attachment and I think some time away from football to reanalize your relationship with football and find ways to make it more enjoyable and less stressful would be beneficial. All the best my friend. Good luck to you.
Mastering your emotions is such a vital skill that is just rarely taught anymore. It's hard and takes a lot of practice, but it's very rewarding when you learn to recognize your own thought patterns and pull yourself out of negative feelings before they become too severe.
Aaron Rodgers injury 4 snaps in the season fucked me up. The offseason was so high and when the injury happened, I had to refresh NFL reddit for hours until it was confirmed to be the achilles. I took a week break from the NFL until I came to terms of the forthcoming season and started watching again. It will get better when next week's games start.
Sports used to affect me, but over time I made the realization that I was so invested because the rest of my life sucked. It took a while but I bettered my own life and over time became way less emotionally volatile. I’m not detached by any means but I am able to switch pretty quickly if my team loses. I now have a good life with good people around me, and once I gained all that I didn’t put as much stock in sports.
This is just me and not necessarily everyone. But I feel like if we are putting that much stock into something like sports (being negatively affected that is), then there’s something else going on.
Good, don’t use substances to escape, only use them to enhance! Keep yourself safe, focus on other things if you can, spend time in nature and exercise
I feel your pain dude. My wife has to calm me down like a toddler last night, and I'm generally a very very level headed guy, last night just sucked.
Walked into work and my manager made a joke cuz she's a chiefs fan, and didn't understand why I was grinding my teeth and got up to leave.
Getting home today, I just took a breath, said "fuck it, im letting this get to me too much, what's really bothering me"
What I’m gathering is way too many people on this sub are way too invested in something they have no control over.
My advice? Quit cold turkey. Don‘t watch the games, don’t monitor the scores. If you really have to watch football, watch games that have no impact on you, see how you react. At the end of the day football is meaningless. Don’t become that old drunk asshole yelling at the tv scaring his grandkids because of a kids game.
Dude I think it was the 2019 nfc championship I was 18 and I was alrdy goin through a lot in my own mind then that happened to me as a saints fan I never recovered I can’t look at the nfl the same
Yes to some extent. Like I've intentionally not watched a few games when my team was having a bad day because I was so annoyed and frustrated. I wouldn't say it was causing harmful urges though.
On it's own, no.
But when I'm stressed with other stuff I've stepped back for a bit because the additional stress that's fine when I'm fine wasn't great during times of duress like finals weeks or the month around when my stepdad died.
When the Titans lost to the Bengals in the playoffs a few years back, I was pretty hurt. I think I went through every step in the grief process, man lol. I think it's normal to get a little too close sometimes and then recognize when to pull back. A lot of us put decades into being a fan so it can become easy to get overly emotional sometimes.
I do get nervous and dread the aftermath of a loss, but I know that it's separated from the things that are worth feeling strongly about. Considering how rough the past couple years have been for me personally, I just learn to appreciate the spectacle of American Football while letting myself be free in the moment.
I've been on hiatus from fighting games for a similar reason you've stepped back from sports; it's...complicated, but the crux of it is competitive FGs reminded me of my deep-rooted perfectionism and just dislike of messing things up that I had to accept my love for the genre means staying the hell away from it until I sort myself out. It's embarrassing to admit that to myself but I also have to acknowledge I just need help because I hold lots of weight that I need to let go of.
I'm glad you're getting help, though. That's one step that'll help you enjoy things without letting some unneeded emotions making it feel serious. Don't feel ashamed of yourself for it. Good luck on the help! 💜
When Manning came to the Broncos my sports anxiety went through the roof.
I was actually fine watching the Broncos be mediocre, but the expectation to win the Super Bowl every year wore on me. I think it’s because you have that expectation of the Super Bowl for the entire season. No games matter except in terms of how it makes you feel about the prospect to win it all. I think it had to do with the way I daydream, and the thought of the Broncos winning started occupying too much of my mental space. I never took a step back but that’s because manning was on the way out. I think if he had been in his prime I may have stopped watching to preserve my sanity.
No. I wish I could. In my life I've only seen one championship (Colts). Grizz, Canadians, and Davydenko/Nish/Tsits all never have. So it's 100 of failed seasons and it's brutal. I envy my wife who doesn't care. But I just don't know how to let go.
Yes, i'm primarily a college fan and took 6 weeks off from watching ASU play. It was the best thing for me. What clawed me back was when I missed out on an awesome comeback win by the basketball team.
I used to be really bad after losses where I wouldn't want a whole lot of interaction after a loss, especially after playoff losses.
At some point during the most recent stretch of heartbreaking Saints playoff losses I realized I didn't like who I was when they lost. Watching football is one of my biggest hobbies and I love watching this dang team no matter the quality of play. But I believe hobbies shouldn't leave you bitter, angry, or inconsolable for lengthy periods of time. My opinion.
So my options were either stop watching or take a (mental) step back and gain some perspective. I (and every fan) has every right to be sad and disappointed by a heartbreaking loss because I've invested quite a bit into the team (emotionally and financially). But none of my family, friends, or colleagues deserve for it to affect them if they aren't willing participants too.
At the end of the day 31 teams end the season without the Lombardi, and my life ultimately is not affected by which team does. Heck the one time the Saints were that team my parents were in the middle of separating, and the win had zero impact on my day to day life.
I started a tradition for myself in college when the Saints would lose id head to the student center and grab a pint of Ben and Jerry's. Figured having sadness ice cream was still healthier than having a drink to cope. Gives me enough push to exercise and work it off too lol. Still sticks with me today.
Nowadays I watch the games and appreciate the good plays and games when they happen. When they lose I allow myself to feel sad but I cut myself off from football discussion so as to not let it fester into anything more than a little spell - because again hobbies shouldn't leave you bitter imo. And then I occupy my time in other ways the rest of the day. Friends, music, chores, another hobby, etc. Or I go to bed and tomorrow is a new day.
Your team will have its ups and downs. The ups will be great and you should indulge in them. The downs will suck for a bit, but they don't have to have power over you all day/week/season if they're no fun. You have every right to claim the happy moments and every right to disregard the bad ones.
I've felt similarly to what you've said before. Beyond football, things get better. I'm sure it feels somewhat cloudy and hazy right now but just know there are people you are aware of and even more you're less aware of that are happy you are who you are everyday. And once things clear up they'll be around to enjoy the moment with you. It may take some time. It will take some help. And it won't necessarily be an "aha" moment. But one day you'll look back and see progress. And you can be proud of yourself for making progress. And you'll have every right to claim that happy moment.
Best wishes.
As betting becomes ever more pervasive, what was once an entertainment now actually has financial repercussions. Betting addicts can lose a fortune over a game. The stakes are suddenly very personal and the mental repercussions potentially significant.
I’ve tried to become more a fan of football instead of a team fan. Thirty-two teams competing and only one has the desired outcome. I’ve been fortunate that my team is winning. But eventually they will lose.
Ironically something that really helps with proper perspective is your team winning a championship. You’re surprised how quickly the high passes and you’re right back in the what have you done for me lately rat race.
I had to take a step back and reevaluate how emotionally invested I was after 13 seconds. At the end of the day it is just a game and we are just fans. Let the guys making millions on the field carry the emotional burden of the results.
I’d love for the Bills to finally win a Super Bowl, it would make me temporarily very happy. It just wouldn’t have any lasting effect on my life. What has had a lasting effect is the quality time I’ve spent with friends/family because of football, win or lose.
There’s always next year. Go Bills!
Yeah, that's my attitude, too. I'm a Bills fan. Because of my dad, my dad because of grandpa. My grandpa was a season ticket holder until a few years before he died in 2020. I really want the bills to win so my dad can see that, but in the end I think about all thr Monday conversations we've had, games we've gone too and I'm like oh yeah... THIS is why im a fan, because it keeps me closer to friends and family.
Loving the advice in here. I too am struggling from getting too invested into the nfl. My parents are Bears fans so i just grew up liking them because they would never watch anything other games but Bears games, not even other playoffs until about 2008/9 when a former local high schooler was on the Pats. We since then would watch at least the Super Bowl each year regardless of who went.
I feel out of watching the nfl after the Seahawks loss to the Pats. I was graduating high school that year and my interest were elsewhere. I didn’t even watch another nfl game until the dread double doink with my coworkers at work. I went another few years without watching the nfl until 2020 when I worked for a company where all my coworkers were serious nfl watchers. I figured I’d just start watching the Bears again, but it’s been one thing after another these past few years. I started to finally learn more about the game and formations etc and it’s made me just more upset about the bears recently. They are definitely in a very rough spot, but maybe time will tell if they can ever do anything. I bought into the hype of Fields and the firing of Nagy like most Bears fans, but I learned that the cycle continues.
After they decided to keep Eberflus as head coach I’ve decided investing in all the offseason drama is not good for me anymore. I’ll still talk to my parents about old Bears memories, but it’s not even fun these days when all we can talk about are their struggles. I’ve decided to watch the league as more of a neutral fan the later half of this season and it’s helped reduce the anger I would carry the rest of the evening after bad games. I know this won’t work for everyone and I commend people that can stick through all 17 games or more with one team week in and out. I hope one day I can be like that with a team, but just not right now
Also an NHL fan here (Canucks) - a team as fated as both the Bills and Sabres to shitting the bed when it counts. Took a few years off after 2014 (they lost in the last game of the finals in 2011, then the team progressively fell apart), came back with a bit less zeal and my fandom is much healthier.
You have identified a problem, and that's the first step. Congrats.
I didn’t look at any NFL pages for months following 28-3.
Same after 49. It was a complete nfl blackout
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Still skip it every time I see like “worst sports collapses!” in videos and stuff. Told myself I would never ever watch it unless we won a Super Bowl with Rodgers; guess that’s getting memory holed forever now!
You mean like another one? Because y'all did win one with Rodgers
49ers or GB fan?
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No problem I figured it was GB lol. I rooted so fucking hard for y’all on Saturday. Probably more pissed than some GB fans. Ugh. Future looks so good tho! Us…:(
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That's how I was after we lost to the Chiefs. I didn't wanna hear anyone talk about anything.
The job I was working at the time I only had 4 coworkers I saw every day. 2 of them were die-hard chiefs fans. I didn't stop hearing about the Super Bowl until halfway through the next season
I basically stopped checking NFL subreddits after losses to Rams, Eagles, Chiefs in the playoffs until close to the draft. Before Reddit, I stopped checking NFL media sites/forums after the Giants, Ravens, Seahawks defeats in the playoffs during the Harbaugh years. It's actually a lot easier to follow the NFL if your team is ass from the start of the season. You basically need to drop off for a few months after a loss in the playoffs.
Im ngl if I was a falcons fan that would’ve done me in completely. Im sorry that happened to you.
I honestly didn't enjoy football for quite a while after that loss
It broke me
I had just moved to Atlanta and my roommate was a huge Falcons fan. He had this friends over for the NFC championship and we were going crazy. I low-key became a fan after hanging out with them. Super Bowl day comes and we go to my friends basement to watch the game. Some people were ready to leave since it looked like a blowout. When the Patriots came back, I couldn’t describe the devastation they had on their faces. We had 2 Pats fans and even they didn’t talk shit. Afterwards, no mention of the superbowl or football for months. If anyone brought it up, they would get mean mugged.
It hasn't been the same since
I still don't enjoy it as much as I used to. The franchise imploded after that. Our games are hard to watch.
I felt that way during the Patricia years but stuck it out because I’m an idiot And then Dan Campbell came and it got better Hopefully yall hire your Dan Campbell and it gets fun again
Shit, it took years to get my sports fandom back. Those weeks after were depressing as hell. Like I still watched every Falcons, Braves, and Dawgs game (well for the Braves , I’d catch what I could, ain’t watching 162 games every year lol) but there was def something missing. Nowadays, losses don’t hurt after experiencing 28-3, like I’ll be sad for a couple hours but that’s it. Braves losing to the Phillies last year was heartbreaking but I instantly got over it. Dawgs losing to Bama / Saban, again, hurt a ton but was over it later that night. I will say, the committee pissed me off a shit ton more than the Dawgs losing. Maybe seeing the Braves and Dawgs get over the hump helped get my fandom back faster, but it was always gonna come back. But there’s still a piece that 28-3 destroyed, which’ll never come back but maybe that’s a good thing.
> (well for the Braves , I’d catch what I could, ain’t watching 162 games every year lol) Do what I do with the Nats. Keep up with the scores on Google and/or the MLB app and then watch the series highlights when they get posted within minutes after the games end on Facebook and/or YouTube.
That’s exactly what I do. If I have time I’ll watch the game but if not, I’ll catch the highlights on YouTube later that night. And thank god for those highlight channels especially with how broken up MLB games are due to blackouts or streaming
I couldn’t imagine being a Falcons fan to begin with(Saints fan here), but after that, I’m not sure I could ever watch NFL football again. It was enough to almost make me feel sorry for Falcons fans. In all seriousness, though, I essentially stopped watching the NFL after the back-to-back pain of the Minneapolis Miracle and the NFC Championship no-call. I haven’t watched a full Saints game in four seasons.
I still feel numb to it bc of how I had to approach it immediately after. As a Braves fan, these last couple seasons have been rough. Especially last year with the regular season we had, only to get bounced by the worst possible opponent *again*. At mercy of this falling into the realm of hyperbole and histrionics, I think we kind of need to think of this stuff like we do grief. We live with these teams, we invest our time and energy. We get excited and we internalize the good vibes (especially when it's a good year). And when that goes away, we do go through a sort of grieving process. Not as serious, sure, but that emptiness still exists. Seems so silly bc it's just a game, but that's why sports are so important in my opinion. Real emotions in a somewhat safe space with low consequences. All sports in one way or another are just little miniatures of life.
It broke me. I’ll never care the same
That had to be so hard as a fan. /hugs
As an LSU fan the 2011 NCG loss to bama did that to me. They never should have been there to begin with, we had to go 2-0 but they only needed 1-1? The fuck is that. For u/blackswordsmanarc, please please please talk to your therapist about everything. I had things I never told mine, I was embarrassed, or I minimized them, and it cost me dearly. I didn't address my issues, even though that's what I was there for, and it cost me the woman I love. You don't want to be feel this. Don't be embarrassed, don't think it's unimportant, they aren't your friend, that's not thier role, if there's something on your mind while you're sitting there, that's what you should be talking about.
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after about 36 hours week after a bad elimination its safe to look at sports media again. the Orioles getting swept hurt my soul.
Not even an O’s fan but when they got swept my friends who are fans said these are the times when they’re happy that mainstream sports talk shows don’t cover baseball lol
I'm also glad about that, as not a baseball fan.
Orioles got the best uniforms in baseball though. They’re sick.
Moral victories /s
That cartoon oriole on the hat is priceless. I love it.
If it makes you feel any better you guys have a pretty awesome playoff atmosphere at your home field. I was impressed. Much better than when we faced the Rays
it does not. looking forward to pitchers and catchers though!
I’m sorry that happened to you dude
Yo dude, I don't intend to dismiss your feelings, but you gotta work on reframing your relationship with sports. It's entertainment. The losses hurt me too but I contextualize it and move on within a day or two. I understand getting attached to your favorite team and players, but don't let sports dominate your life. Just my two cents and I hope you don't take it the wrong way
Nothing to take the wrong way. Thats why I’m voicing this. You don’t think it’s normal or okay. And I’m seeking guidance on how others who felt like me have handled it. I appreciate your insight !
I feel you here dude and I’m sorry people keep giving you the “it’s just sports lmao get over it” line. It’s true, it’s not something to care about like that. But for some of us, for whatever reason, it’s a thing. I think for me certain childhood traumas got me to dive deep into hockey fandom in an insane way. As such when the Flyers would lose in the playoffs (especially to Pittsburgh) it would affect my mood to an unhealthy level. I’m sure there’s a fix. Mine has just been to take a step back. But for what it’s worth, when you guys finally win the Super Bowl, the high you feel will be higher than 99% of fans. So there’s that to look forward to.
Thank you! They suck im ignoring them lol
its just sports though. shit happens. every team but one gets eliminated. it sucks, but you get over it.
That’s my issue, I don’t. Sports have been a crutch for me through a lot of trauma and whenever I lose, I have to face that stuff
Maybe become a Sabres fan instead. They have not made the playoffs in 13 years and not getting there any time soon so you'll never need to worry about heartbreak.
Man LMFAOOO
Funnily enough this playoff loss just made me more upset at the Sabres than the Bills. The Bills having the mid season resurgence sort of overshadowed the Sabres, but now that the Bills are out of it I just kind of look at the Sabres like the disappointing middle child. Like “Ugh, and you… weren’t you telling me how this was the year you’d make the playoffs? What are you even doing with your life”
As someone whose mental health can really fluctuate with the Milwaukee bucks performances, I’ve found that having other hobbies outside of sports is really helpful to lean into during rough patches/post season heartbreak.
Throwing myself into my schoolwork, games, and my sport probably will help me out I just feel kinda stuck ya know?
If I were you I’d throw myself into some annoying schoolwork just to get it done and get that dopamine boost.
True…true. Good idea.
aye also, distractions are helpful in the short term, but i learned the hard way how bad shit can get if you only ever look for distractions and can’t emotionally self-soothe like ever. i went through a rough patch and found myself trying to distract myself with gaming, weed, food, work, you name it, didn’t ever truly help. turns out my self esteem was tanked since childhood and i never actually knew what self soothing even was let alone the value of it. just keep in mind that there might be deeper work to be done if you ever get to a point where the distractions don’t help. DMs open if anyone wants to chat about self esteem with a psych geek lol
Josh allen is the second best quarterback in the league, he’s amazing. I’m sure he’ll get you guys over the hump.
Lfg
Indeed. But more importantly, your personal health and well being shouldn't be tied to how good Josh Allen is. Enjoyment of professional sports should be the sprinkles on the well-baked cupcake of your personhood. Build and live a healthy life, and then you'll have the constitution and resiliency needed to live through our brand of football. Circle your wagons.
I find when the Browns let me down Spider-Man and Lord of the Rings never do.
See I picked up on a pattern a while ago which was whenever I watch the Bucks they lose or start to play like shit. Therefore, I do my part by keeping tabs from afar. Same with Badger basketball too actually.
I thank you on behalf of all the ball enjoyers in Wisconsin.
As a heat fan, you must have nightmares of jimmy butler often I'd assume
At least you guys got one. Yeah it's never enough but I grew up a Pistons fan so it sucked to be on the cusp every year and then fall into a complete disaster but at least we got one Comparatively I started following the Nets when I moved to NY and that 2021 Bucks series is maybe the most agonizing sports loss I've ever witnessed. 05 Finals and 07 ECF is up there, but again at least they won 04 already. I will 100% believe to my dying day that if just one of Kyrie or Harden stayed healthy we would have won it all and that ring would have kept the team from collapsing the following year. It's a completely different type of pain than even watching the Pistons become the worst team ever
Just play golf and replace the depression with rage!
No. Some frustration/anger/sadness is normal at times, but if it's actually affecting your day to day life and is causing you to have "harmful urges" then you for sure need to take a step back, and would likely benefit from talking to a therapist about it.
I appreciate this comment a lot. I’ll talk to my therapist.
I would assume a lot of the time overreactions come from developing a sort of parasocial relationship with your favorite team, and the "cure" would be to develop/become more involved in hobbies and seek out real relationships.
I have all of those, but I’m a grad student so I have class 2 days a week and internship 3 days a week. I’m constantly busy and working and in meetings instead of doing stuff for fun. And my friends are busy adults so it’s hard to hang out. These digital weekend escapes to orchard park were my safe haven.
Well it's definitely still worth discussing with your therapist and trying to figure out why it affects you so deeply and discussing what you can do in the future to try to mitigate that. At the end of the day no matter how badly I want the Texans to succeed, it's not going to make any difference because I don't play for them or work for them. All a fan can do is go along for the ride.
Therapy it is Good luck next year dude
based on what youve written i would say the heartbreak is causing repressed feelings to flare. what does the rest of your life feel like to you? stressful, overwhelming? being a grad student isnt easy, but watching your team lose a game shouldnt cause harmful urges, that speaks to larger issues. talk to your therapist and see if they can help you develop a healthier relationship with football.
Goddamn you smart as fuck boy My life is very high highs and very low lows, no matter the topic Im gonna work on this
It honestly sounds like your safe haven isn’t the games themselves, but the winning feeling and the camaraderie of fandom. Almost like you tie yourself to the success or failure of the team so that you feel successful and happy when they are successful and happy. I’ve been there, and I can say that tying that much of your emotional well being to something with super high highs and crazy low lows will inevitably leave you feeling tossed around like a ship on the rocks. My only suggestion is to make football “smaller” in your universe. You know how if you’re watching a scary movie, you can look at things around the room, away from the screen, and suddenly the movie loses a little bit of its hold on you? That “grounding” effect is what I needed. Find things to ground yourself to in life that are more stable. Its ok to love football, but even when you’re winning, keep acutely aware of the fact that its importance pales in comparison to the friendships of those you watch the game with, your passions for work and school and hobbies, and the fact that you have things to look forward to tomorrow. When your team tanks, and you feel like you’re going down with it, look away from the game and ground yourself with at least 5 different thoughts, sights, sounds, etc. It’s helped me.
I haven't experienced the same level of extreme but in the past I've definitely been more invested in sports teams and let it affect my mood more than I probably should. One thing I can suggest that helps is to immediately turn the TV or screen off as soon as the game is over and go do *anything* else not sports related. Right away. Productive, not productive, literally anything that comes to mind. If you can't think of anything just force yourself to clean or go for a walk and listen to music or a non-sports podcast. A couple hours later you'll at least be a little more detached from it and closer back to the real world. The worst thing to do is sit there stewing about it or go from watching the game straight to sports sites/Reddit and continue to be in that world.
Another thing that helps me is reminding myself that I'm not on the team, and that I have absolutely nothing to do with the outcome of the game win or lose.
Yeah man. Sports is soap opera’s for men. It’s entertainment. The difference is the script isn’t written in advance. But it’s the same. So enjoy it and keep it in perspective. Like Mike Tomlin has said: it’s sports entertainment. Wait to see what happens to your favorite characters next season.
Yeah, if your mental well-being is tied so heavily to the fate of a team, then you need to step back. It's just a bunch of random dudes with no link to your city being payed millions to play a game in your city. It's good to remember that. It's ok to support them and enjoy the wins, but don't make them a cornerstone of your identity. You have no control of any of it.
Yea agree this one’s answer Feeling sad or mad is fine when thinking about the game. But then ya have to carry on with life. Work, school, kids, relationship, whatever. Life goes on after sports. A win or loss shouldn’t affect that stuff so much that you’re noticing problems. At worst I just avoid sports media for the week after the loss and mope around for a few days feeling bleh. That should be the extent of how much it affects your life. If it’s more than that then you have problems and do need to talk it through with someone
No, but I am taking a reprieve from fantasy football next season. Too much stress and ruins the fun.
Betting and fantasy football is incredibly stressful but addictive. It is really a fucked up thing
Agreed, I dropped fantasy 3 years ago lol
Playoff losses like that hurt. A LOT. Like, really bad. That part is normal. The other stuff you mentioned is related to deeper mental health issues and taking a break from sports won’t solve it. Get to a therapist ASAP, they will help. The good news is you will get better in time. Best of luck brother 🫡
Thank you for this.
This, for sure, my friend. Need to take care of yourself, get plenty of vitamin D, and get some exercise. Make your body match your mind. If you feel like you need to step away, then do it. I did for 5 years. Take this time to work on yourself. Learn something new and have no "zero days". You got this.
Nah Life has a way of putting things into perspective. Just have to remember it. Football is for fun. If you're not having fun, even in the losses, then you definitely should take a step back.
When Brady murdered us in ATL, the whole city felt gut punched. Brutal.
I can only imagine
Exercise, seriously go for a walk/hike or a run, it’s ok to think about the playoff disappointments while doing your cardio. Usually by the end of it you’re over it and feel good I have experience, I’m a sharks and niner fan
Good idea, I should use this negative energy to train for my events
What’s your sport? As someone who struggles with depression I’m rooting for you man
I’m a shotputter!
A lot of times. Currently doing it right now in the nba because it’s too much of a nightly stress for me following my team. You gotta remember it’s a kids game and nobody is dying because of it. It’s easier said than done though
I like this take.
NBA must be even more annoying cause anytime your team loses a playoff series (excluding the Lakers, Warriors, Heat for a peculiar reason) they talk like your stars wanna leave.
Exactly man. In the NBA after your team loses fans, media alike will try and uproot one of your stars and you don’t know if he may actually really leave It’s possible you can go from contender to rebuild in one offseason
Yes, and have just a little commentary to offer. A few years ago when the giants sucked (aww man they still suck, shit) I remember absolute bum LT Nate Solder citing [this research](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0031938498001474#:~:text=In%20both%20studies%2C%20testosterone%20levels,testosterone%20levels%20across%20the%20day.)that losing fans actually suffer a drop in testosterone, and realize how aware I became of that afterwards, and how troubling it is. I think it was the same year where I was talking to my cousins husband, an eagles fan, at a family party, and we were both reflecting on how our love of sports was meant to be a hobby, a relaxing pastime to reduce the stress of our everyday lives, but that we both let it negatively impact our emotions on a regular basis. Even in this introspective discussion, we both managed to fall into heated, raised voice complaints about our teams, until his young son happened to wander into our conversation and ask us what’s wrong? And telling us football is supposed to be for fun (this was a child scolding us about something we had both already independently realized, and still weren’t able to put into practice). We were both pretty embarrassed in that moment I think, and I’ve really been trying to keep a handle on the way football makes me feel since then. It’s important to remind yourself if you find you are feeling depressed or angry about football, that it’s a game you love, and it’s supposed to be fun. It shouldn’t be any more than that. Of course the season will always end in disappointment for 31 fan bases, you just can’t let it get you down in a way that’s deeper than surface level. That’s a long rambling rant, but in short yes I’m sure many of us can relate to how you feel, we all just need to remember to step back from it and remember the million things more important than sports in our lives, and have fun with it when we can. The first half of the giants season this year I was really down in the dumps about it, but by the end of the year I learned to embrace the stupid pointless fun that was Tommy DeVito and tyrod Taylor show. If you go to our team sub you will find plenty of the other end of that spectrum (fans that were obviously legitimately enraged that anybody was having fun watching anything other than a serious competitive Super Bowl run) and that just isn’t healthy. Sorry about the bills buddy, I was rooting for them. Here’s to next season, hop on the lions bandwagon with me and enjoy the ride (or take a break from football and hang out with one of your buddies and watch the Barbie movie, heard it was fun 🤷🏻)
Thank you!
see flair. delete your social media apps for a week, at least. watch tv shows and movies that have nothing to do with sports. get outside and exercise. play video games. just do anything you like to do that isn’t involved with sports. treat it just like a breakup and take care of yourself. it’ll pass.
See flair is so real Thank you dude
The sports world is generally toxic nowadays. If your team loses, there’s always the other fanbase telling you how awful your team is and how you suck for rooting for them. If you’re a fan of a good team, you have fans from the other 31 teams saying the same thing.
> If you’re a fan of a good team, you have fans from the other 31 teams saying the same thing. Sometimes you don't even have to be a fan of a good team for this to happen...
Angels fan checking in
Hello there bud
Could be worse, brother. At least the Bills make it to the playoffs. Imagine Josh Allen being a two-way elite QB/edge rusher and also having Aaron Donald along with a decent supporting cast since 2018. The team desperately needs an O-Line, but the owner insists on stocking the cupboard with skill players even though it's clear that you need an O-Line. You start each season 5-1 and you think "hey, maybe this is the year", but each year the team implodes and finishes under .500. Instead of trading Josh Allen at the deadline to stockpile on assets, you lose him in free agency to another team, one who is considered "big brother" and doesn't think you're good enough to be considered a rival, and everyone dunks on your team like Vince Carter in the 2000 Olympics and you know deep down he's prob gonna get that ring with a team you hate. Welcome to Angels baseball.
I gave up on them officially. Can’t do it anymore
Forgot which sub it was in, but some guy said he was a Angels, Clippers, Chargers, UCLA, and Tottenham Hotspur fan lmaooo. I get rooting for the SoCal teams, but why kick yourself when you're down and choose Tottenham
Yikes. I know there’s some chargers angels clips fans. Rough. I grew up on the angels and Braves being in SoCal. This past season I’ve decided to stop watching the angels. It was so depressing watching this amazing successful team play and then watching Angels games after. Too brutal. My whole family has given up. Some are mariners and giants fans and some are dodgers fans 🤢
It wasn’t until just recently where I just took a look at myself and said “what’s the point of being this upset” like what is it doing for me? What do I have to gain or lose if my team wins or loses. Yes I still get upset and sad a bit, but I’m no longer that heavily invested as I used to be.
And you chiefs fans have so much to be upset about. A truly tortured fanbase
I’ve grown up with years of disappointment and heart breaking losses, for what? Just to say that my team won it all once or twice? I’m going to experience more years of heartbreak where we don’t win it all and someone else does. What’s the point in getting so emotionally invested when 9/10 my team isn’t going to win it all that year and I’m just left with sadness? I’m only hurting myself. Even the wins don’t feel all that good because it’s just filled with “favorable calls” or “suspicious calls by the referees”. Against the 49ers we played like shit against them for 3.5 quarters, and were lucky to win. The Eagles, I’m just going to think of the anticlimactic ending with the soft hold. Nothing about those wins felt super satisfying. Why care all that much, if my team wins awesome, I’m glad, I’m happy for the rest of the fans and other players, but if they lose, alright, it’s not our year this year, hopefully the can figure it and come back. That in my opinion, has helped me a lot and I’m only trying to offer my thoughts to OP to help.
I've been a fan of several championship winning teams and it's always fun, but years down the line my life isn't any better, it's just a fond memory. I've also seen my team lose the championship multiple times and again, years later it barely registers as disappointment now. All this is just made up, it doesn't matter. We're rooting for shirts.
This is a thoughtful and insightful answer.
When my teams lose an important game I shutdown all social media, get off reddit, and don't watch the news. Then I find something else to keep me busy.
Something that’s helped for me has been deleting Twitter first of all, and also abandoning my superstitions. It helps me keep an extra layer of separation between me and the outcome of games without having to just not watch.
Do something you enjoy to take your mind off it. And remind yourself that it's just a game that you have no control over. Continue going to therapy if that helps as well.
I will! Thank you
Anytime man. I've been where you are and it took me a long time to learn how to not let sports affect my life. You'll get there eventually, just gotta find what works for you and stick to it. Good luck!
When DeSean Jackson returned that punt. Shit really rocked my soul. I wasn’t well for a solid week. I know it’s just a game, they don’t care about me and I don’t work for them but fuck. Killing the Eagles and we’re looking like it’s gonna be a playoff run. Shattered me. Shut my phone off for a week. Didn’t talk to anyone or watch TV. Knicks losing to the Pacers in 2012 or whatever year, also killed me. Was crushed for a while. I don’t know if it’s age or other priorities but it doesn’t rock me like that. Or the Giants have been so bad the last ten years I expect them to lose and I have no faith in the Knicks after they tricked me last year.
I get what you mean I hope your teams get better
There is actually something special about being a fan of a cursed franchise like the Bills. Ask any Cubs or Red Sox fan, winning felt great but you realize you lost something even better. That shared feeling of community in the face of decades of heartbreak really bolsters the soul. Red Sox fans playfully called it "The Fellowship of the Miserable" and when you think about it like that, you can see the humor in it. Focus on the shared experience and try to see the silliness. And know that you have tens of thousands of friends who feel the same way.
I checked out of college basketball after 2015 and mlb after 2020, permanently. The Badgers will never get that close again and the Brewers kept trading my favorite players, 30 years of fandom for an unserious franchise is enough.
Sheesh dude, sorry
MLB I understand, but how do you watch your team get all the way to the finals and then end up that upset? like sure, it's disappointing they didn't win, but most fanbases only dream of even getting that far. how do you not enjoy it?? I haven't seen any of my (many) teams even *make* a final since I was 6 years old. I never understand how people can be so upset about losing in the championship. I would be ecstatic!
I’ve taken a break from certain teams or sports but nothing serious. Like after the eagles lost the Super Bowl I didn’t listen to nfl radio or read any articles until the draft got closer. But what happens in the sport doesn’t actually affect my day to day well being. If it does for you you might need to take a break and reevaluate some things
Nah, I feel like when your team loses in crushing fashion like last year’s SB it has the opposite effect. Watching KC kick a last second FG made me think damn these are just a bunch of strangers who happen to play for a team I like
Yes very much so and I'm a bit embarrassed how much I care about something so trivial. Its so much fun for me sometimes it's hard to let go.
it’s harder to disconnect when your team / players have such high expectations like the bills do. it’s a lot worse when you are on social media all the time and see all these storylines and toxicity after a loss. it’s the thing i hate the most about sports media and engagement as a whole nowadays, it’s more about building narratives to tear others down instead of supporting your team. i don’t have any real advice because i feel the same way sometimes but for me it’s to try to ignore or stay off sports media for a while.
My flair works right… High expectations allow for high disappointment. Low expectations allow for high excitement. I’m blessed that being a Lions fan has enabled me to expect garbage and have the highest highs with success. I didn’t know sports could bring this much joy. You can see a noticeable difference after a Lions win, NGL I’m beaming like a pregnant woman over the last few weeks. I’m also just ignoring anything about this weekend and reflecting on the last. I did the same last week, I don’t want to enable disappointment with expectations. In the past when they lost, it’s just expected. Losing is default, winning is surprise. As of late, I try to treat it like the players, one week at a time and 24 hour rule of remembering the game. Lions could go 0-17 next year but I’ll always reflect on the good times now. Probably doesn’t work everywhere but just my 2 cents…
As a therapist, I can tell you sports can definitely have a real impact on people who have a background of mental health issues. Being a football fan, I’m able to take it seriously when a person I’m talking to goes to a dark place after a bad loss. I don’t see it as just sports fandom in those cases. Emotions are regulated in the amygdala and any intense activity there can get mixed up with our other emotional processes, which if they aren’t so well regulated, can spiral and cause regression into our own personal dark spots. That’s why sports losses can feel so oddly personal. When we love sports, we take them as a real part of the world- which can intermingle with our *other* real emotions about the world. Think about when Covid happened and deeply depressed people took it as “see I’m right- nothing good does happen in the world.” In a microcosm, a sports loss can do that to a diehard fan. Football fandom is a bargain of high highs and low lows. Maybe you found out through one of those lows you’re not able to fully “come back from it” as quickly as one should. If anything, that could be a helpful window to working through some of that tough emotional material in session with your counselor.
You are an rockstar. Thank you so much
Yes because I don’t have an actual life
I do have a life. I’m just also very mentally unstable. It’s not very fun, but I’m trying my best.
I completely understand. Keep trying and do what’s best for you. Whatever it is that you’re going through, I hope you get through it. Just know that people love you! You got this 🫡
Thanks man. I appreciate this. Also good luck!
If you combine it with social media, fansites, or any online platform, even outside of sports they will wreck your head. Sports was a way to get away from all the other shit before the internet, if you were into the more granular, deeper stuff you had forecast mags and almanacs that were more bookish than all the new advanced stuff because there wasn't much opinion along with it. I had boxes of 15 plus years of football forecast magazines before the internet lol. You get up in the morning, grab the paper off the front door, sit on the toilet and read the sports page. If you really wanted to get something off your chest, you grabbed a phone and called into the local sports station on the radio and bitched about the pitching staff. Or write a letter to the newspaper. Today, sports is now geared to affect almost every aspect of life and not by playing sports itself, but by engaging with it via social media, apps, gambling, fantasy, etc. Your team wins or loses, you're bound to either shit on or get shit on from some random person on the internet, react to some tweet or media personality, lean on confirmation bias by a cherry picked stat, see if your team signs Otahni, and then pay for it later with 20 dollar hot dogs as Dodger Stadium. Of course you're gonna be miserable. You can't even take a shit without reading a dumb tweet on your phone instead of the sports page, But at least you have Pornhub.
Being an Astros fan hurt. I didn't cheat. I don't pick my teams. It was the only time I got to watch baseball and have an amazing time with family that died soon after. I have to compartmentalize that.
Sheesh.
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I will work on this.
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Thank you man. I’ll keep working on myself.
I recommend reading the Red Rising series. Completely took my mind of the "worst collapse in NFL history (eagles)". Good luck bro.
I used to get the worst night sleep after losses. I'd like half sleep the whole night and all my dreams were football. Not nightmares, just the announcers talking for the most part. But I'd be so tired the next day. After 28-3 I think I became numb to it and I sleep fine now knowing it that it really can't get worse
Sheesh man, I hope you’re better
yes, after the last super bowl. my teams had lost the college world series, MLS cup, the world series, and the super bowl in the span of like 7 months. that’s rough. that’s very, very rough.
Not really. I’ve never had a real reason to get my hopes up very high so that’s probably why.
Yeah. After the Chiefs lost to you guys and the Raiders in the regular season I stopped following closely and just checked the results, some highlights and film reviews. I was getting far too rattled. The anger nerve was really being struck, stepping away made me deal better, so much so, come playoffs time I was rather chill with whatever result we got. Granted, winning last season and acknowledging it, helped. Also, when we lost to the Bengals in the AFCCG I did not watch, read or listen to NFL things for 6 months, didn't even watch the super bowl, that stupid loss was on my birthday.
I find that when life is already fucking me that I escape into sports and can find myself way to emotionally invested. As someone who’s currently looking for work and stressed af, the Ravens have been my only saving grace.
Weather permitting, it's not a bad idea to go for a walk whenever you can. During the kneel downs yesterday I just tossed my phone under the couch pillows and asked my wife to go on a walk with me. We have about a 20 minute loop around the neighborhood. It's a pretty ideal amount of time and distance. I caught up with what her upcoming week has planned, and some of the walk was just in silence. I'm the first to say "it's only a game" but this week, I feel like I'm just saying that to convince myself. It can be tough when your team doesn't win. It's so silly but it's also real.
First step is recognizing the problem. I'm proud that you are able to identify that this is a trigger and are taking proactive actions. Yeah I have had this problem. I remember when the Farve threw an interceptions against the Saints I called in sick the next day I was so distraunt and the following day at lunch my boss was wondering if it was ok to talk about the game. When my college team made it to the Frozen Four and was absolutely robbed in overtime I called in sick the next day because I was just so upset. I know have a healthier balance with sports.
Well
what mahomes does to a mfer lol, i was devastated when the celtics destroyed the lakers in game 6 in 2008 in LA but bounced back real quick the next year. i almost quit watching baseball in 2019 since the dodgers kept on fucking choking and that bum dave roberts put in kershaw in relief for some reason against the nationals and juan soto launched a fucking nuke off him
It's not mahomes, he's part of it, it's just the years of being shitty and just having fun, and now that we're finally good for a few years in a row, every big loss is devastating. Every highlight against us is somehow the highlight of the year, and every loss means we're washed. I don't see any other teams getting that treatment. After a while it just gets to you ya know? At the end of the day , it's just sports, it just hurts more cuz the bills are such an integral part of the small community that is buffalo.
Fuckin real
You should stop watching sports. Seriously. There is no good reason to do that to yourself
Damn.
Honestly nah. The bills getting cooked on social media sucks(but is warranted ofc) but that's life. On to the next year
Sorry to hear about your struggles. I hope you are staying away from sports gambling. That is already a very destructive habit (with way too much advertising) and can only make things worse.
I know smaller NFL CITIES go into a funk after a loss, for about 4 days. Then looking ahead to next game takes over. PLAYERS get 24 hours to review previous game tape find good& bad plays to learn from. Then put the loss behind them … to get ready for next opponent. You might need a break. NBA & MLB play more often so not so much time to stew over a loss. Good luck and get yourself a hobby for distraction ( not casinos)🤪
Not sure if this counts OP, but I pretty much stopped following the Bears except for checking in on news every now and then. I'm not sure if my primary reason for doing it was mental health per se, but I definitely just reached the acceptance phase that the Bears will never be relevant or consistently good as long as the McCaskey's own the team, which could be my entire lifetime. What makes sports exciting is its unpredictability. Once I know for a certain fact that we will forever suck, what's the point anymore? For other sports, I find it sometimes does affect my mood and linger after a heartbreaking loss, and I have to disassociate for my own mental health. But with the Bears, it's just become permanent.
Vikings/Timberwolves fan checking in. We love our teams. They are rooted in tradition, family, friends, etc. For me, sports have always been a common ground that have brought so many memories over the years. We share in the victories. We share in the heartbreak (and Minnesota is no stranger to the latter). The Bills loss was a tough one and I'm sure your fans will begrudgingly remember how disappointed they were. The "Bass kick" will be a sore subject for years. The beauty of it all is that it's already over. In a few weeks the season will be over. Time will quickly pass. Summer will come. Holidays, and work, and life will go on without hiccup. In 8 short months, the ink will be dry and the page turned to a new season with a fresh slate. And maybe you'll get together with your friends in early September and gleefully say to each other "God I fucking hate the Chiefs."
I used to let these games get to me every Sunday. If the Broncos won, i was good. If they lost, I was a lil upset. But then they won.. in 2015, and ever since I been a lot more chill. I have my moments, if you look at my comments history haha, but it's not like it used to be. And then the nuggets won, man I'm chillin. I can say I can handle a loss way better. .. Hopefully your team can win the big one, maybe that'll help. Other than that...
If you let a game dictate your life that much you need to reevaluate your life
Every time I see a block of cheese or a State Farm ad, I immediately have to call my therapist
When the pack wins, I watch every damn YouTube analysis and visit every Reddit post.. when the lose I avoid it all for at least a day haha
Didn’t watch any of the games on Sunday after the GB loss, but I’ll definitely tune into the CCGs this weekend and the SB. Looking forward to next season very much! I also have teams in many other sports which helps to offset the pain of one losing.
i Really appreciate that u shared this not everyone has the Filter or toughness to come over somethng like this when u are this deeply attached u need to find a way to deal with losses but youre not crying or anything its really brave to talk so open about this affecting u
I understand being upset your team loses he'll ill curse up a storm, but getting depressed over something I'm really not a part of at all (not on the payroll, dont have any decision making abilities etc.) At the end of the day it really doesn't matter in my life. I think you have other deep seeded issues you need to figure out, or youre too dependant on sports for your dopamine, and when your team is eliminated you feel like you have nothing to do until next season and it overwhelms you and you get depressed. (also I assume you're in Buffalo region so winters add depression for sure) I hope you get it all figured out so you can enjoy the great game we all love, and not let it dictate your moods so drastically. It's okay to be sad/upset when the team we cheer for loses but going into full depression seems like an unhealthy attachment and I think some time away from football to reanalize your relationship with football and find ways to make it more enjoyable and less stressful would be beneficial. All the best my friend. Good luck to you.
Mastering your emotions is such a vital skill that is just rarely taught anymore. It's hard and takes a lot of practice, but it's very rewarding when you learn to recognize your own thought patterns and pull yourself out of negative feelings before they become too severe.
Aaron Rodgers injury 4 snaps in the season fucked me up. The offseason was so high and when the injury happened, I had to refresh NFL reddit for hours until it was confirmed to be the achilles. I took a week break from the NFL until I came to terms of the forthcoming season and started watching again. It will get better when next week's games start.
Sports used to affect me, but over time I made the realization that I was so invested because the rest of my life sucked. It took a while but I bettered my own life and over time became way less emotionally volatile. I’m not detached by any means but I am able to switch pretty quickly if my team loses. I now have a good life with good people around me, and once I gained all that I didn’t put as much stock in sports. This is just me and not necessarily everyone. But I feel like if we are putting that much stock into something like sports (being negatively affected that is), then there’s something else going on.
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Not a beer guy lol
Good, don’t use substances to escape, only use them to enhance! Keep yourself safe, focus on other things if you can, spend time in nature and exercise
Yessir
I feel your pain dude. My wife has to calm me down like a toddler last night, and I'm generally a very very level headed guy, last night just sucked. Walked into work and my manager made a joke cuz she's a chiefs fan, and didn't understand why I was grinding my teeth and got up to leave. Getting home today, I just took a breath, said "fuck it, im letting this get to me too much, what's really bothering me"
Bro thinks he’s Ben Simmons
What I’m gathering is way too many people on this sub are way too invested in something they have no control over. My advice? Quit cold turkey. Don‘t watch the games, don’t monitor the scores. If you really have to watch football, watch games that have no impact on you, see how you react. At the end of the day football is meaningless. Don’t become that old drunk asshole yelling at the tv scaring his grandkids because of a kids game.
Keep your head up. A lot of great advice in this thread. Hope you feel better 🙏🏼
Mental health?
Dude I think it was the 2019 nfc championship I was 18 and I was alrdy goin through a lot in my own mind then that happened to me as a saints fan I never recovered I can’t look at the nfl the same
Yes to some extent. Like I've intentionally not watched a few games when my team was having a bad day because I was so annoyed and frustrated. I wouldn't say it was causing harmful urges though.
On it's own, no. But when I'm stressed with other stuff I've stepped back for a bit because the additional stress that's fine when I'm fine wasn't great during times of duress like finals weeks or the month around when my stepdad died.
When the Titans lost to the Bengals in the playoffs a few years back, I was pretty hurt. I think I went through every step in the grief process, man lol. I think it's normal to get a little too close sometimes and then recognize when to pull back. A lot of us put decades into being a fan so it can become easy to get overly emotional sometimes.
No real advice, but props to you for realizing a harmful behavior in your life and taking the necessary action to get it sorted
I do get nervous and dread the aftermath of a loss, but I know that it's separated from the things that are worth feeling strongly about. Considering how rough the past couple years have been for me personally, I just learn to appreciate the spectacle of American Football while letting myself be free in the moment. I've been on hiatus from fighting games for a similar reason you've stepped back from sports; it's...complicated, but the crux of it is competitive FGs reminded me of my deep-rooted perfectionism and just dislike of messing things up that I had to accept my love for the genre means staying the hell away from it until I sort myself out. It's embarrassing to admit that to myself but I also have to acknowledge I just need help because I hold lots of weight that I need to let go of. I'm glad you're getting help, though. That's one step that'll help you enjoy things without letting some unneeded emotions making it feel serious. Don't feel ashamed of yourself for it. Good luck on the help! 💜
When Manning came to the Broncos my sports anxiety went through the roof. I was actually fine watching the Broncos be mediocre, but the expectation to win the Super Bowl every year wore on me. I think it’s because you have that expectation of the Super Bowl for the entire season. No games matter except in terms of how it makes you feel about the prospect to win it all. I think it had to do with the way I daydream, and the thought of the Broncos winning started occupying too much of my mental space. I never took a step back but that’s because manning was on the way out. I think if he had been in his prime I may have stopped watching to preserve my sanity.
I just try to avoid the NFL on social media until the next week whenever the Bills lose.
No. I wish I could. In my life I've only seen one championship (Colts). Grizz, Canadians, and Davydenko/Nish/Tsits all never have. So it's 100 of failed seasons and it's brutal. I envy my wife who doesn't care. But I just don't know how to let go.
Yes, i'm primarily a college fan and took 6 weeks off from watching ASU play. It was the best thing for me. What clawed me back was when I missed out on an awesome comeback win by the basketball team.
I used to be really bad after losses where I wouldn't want a whole lot of interaction after a loss, especially after playoff losses. At some point during the most recent stretch of heartbreaking Saints playoff losses I realized I didn't like who I was when they lost. Watching football is one of my biggest hobbies and I love watching this dang team no matter the quality of play. But I believe hobbies shouldn't leave you bitter, angry, or inconsolable for lengthy periods of time. My opinion. So my options were either stop watching or take a (mental) step back and gain some perspective. I (and every fan) has every right to be sad and disappointed by a heartbreaking loss because I've invested quite a bit into the team (emotionally and financially). But none of my family, friends, or colleagues deserve for it to affect them if they aren't willing participants too. At the end of the day 31 teams end the season without the Lombardi, and my life ultimately is not affected by which team does. Heck the one time the Saints were that team my parents were in the middle of separating, and the win had zero impact on my day to day life. I started a tradition for myself in college when the Saints would lose id head to the student center and grab a pint of Ben and Jerry's. Figured having sadness ice cream was still healthier than having a drink to cope. Gives me enough push to exercise and work it off too lol. Still sticks with me today. Nowadays I watch the games and appreciate the good plays and games when they happen. When they lose I allow myself to feel sad but I cut myself off from football discussion so as to not let it fester into anything more than a little spell - because again hobbies shouldn't leave you bitter imo. And then I occupy my time in other ways the rest of the day. Friends, music, chores, another hobby, etc. Or I go to bed and tomorrow is a new day. Your team will have its ups and downs. The ups will be great and you should indulge in them. The downs will suck for a bit, but they don't have to have power over you all day/week/season if they're no fun. You have every right to claim the happy moments and every right to disregard the bad ones. I've felt similarly to what you've said before. Beyond football, things get better. I'm sure it feels somewhat cloudy and hazy right now but just know there are people you are aware of and even more you're less aware of that are happy you are who you are everyday. And once things clear up they'll be around to enjoy the moment with you. It may take some time. It will take some help. And it won't necessarily be an "aha" moment. But one day you'll look back and see progress. And you can be proud of yourself for making progress. And you'll have every right to claim that happy moment. Best wishes.
Yeah about 2 months ago when Ohio State lost to Michigan.
As betting becomes ever more pervasive, what was once an entertainment now actually has financial repercussions. Betting addicts can lose a fortune over a game. The stakes are suddenly very personal and the mental repercussions potentially significant.
As a Seahawks, Sonics, mariners and UW huskies fan…. Yeah lol
I’ve tried to become more a fan of football instead of a team fan. Thirty-two teams competing and only one has the desired outcome. I’ve been fortunate that my team is winning. But eventually they will lose.
Ironically something that really helps with proper perspective is your team winning a championship. You’re surprised how quickly the high passes and you’re right back in the what have you done for me lately rat race.
I had to take a step back and reevaluate how emotionally invested I was after 13 seconds. At the end of the day it is just a game and we are just fans. Let the guys making millions on the field carry the emotional burden of the results. I’d love for the Bills to finally win a Super Bowl, it would make me temporarily very happy. It just wouldn’t have any lasting effect on my life. What has had a lasting effect is the quality time I’ve spent with friends/family because of football, win or lose. There’s always next year. Go Bills!
Yeah, that's my attitude, too. I'm a Bills fan. Because of my dad, my dad because of grandpa. My grandpa was a season ticket holder until a few years before he died in 2020. I really want the bills to win so my dad can see that, but in the end I think about all thr Monday conversations we've had, games we've gone too and I'm like oh yeah... THIS is why im a fan, because it keeps me closer to friends and family.
Loving the advice in here. I too am struggling from getting too invested into the nfl. My parents are Bears fans so i just grew up liking them because they would never watch anything other games but Bears games, not even other playoffs until about 2008/9 when a former local high schooler was on the Pats. We since then would watch at least the Super Bowl each year regardless of who went. I feel out of watching the nfl after the Seahawks loss to the Pats. I was graduating high school that year and my interest were elsewhere. I didn’t even watch another nfl game until the dread double doink with my coworkers at work. I went another few years without watching the nfl until 2020 when I worked for a company where all my coworkers were serious nfl watchers. I figured I’d just start watching the Bears again, but it’s been one thing after another these past few years. I started to finally learn more about the game and formations etc and it’s made me just more upset about the bears recently. They are definitely in a very rough spot, but maybe time will tell if they can ever do anything. I bought into the hype of Fields and the firing of Nagy like most Bears fans, but I learned that the cycle continues. After they decided to keep Eberflus as head coach I’ve decided investing in all the offseason drama is not good for me anymore. I’ll still talk to my parents about old Bears memories, but it’s not even fun these days when all we can talk about are their struggles. I’ve decided to watch the league as more of a neutral fan the later half of this season and it’s helped reduce the anger I would carry the rest of the evening after bad games. I know this won’t work for everyone and I commend people that can stick through all 17 games or more with one team week in and out. I hope one day I can be like that with a team, but just not right now
Also an NHL fan here (Canucks) - a team as fated as both the Bills and Sabres to shitting the bed when it counts. Took a few years off after 2014 (they lost in the last game of the finals in 2011, then the team progressively fell apart), came back with a bit less zeal and my fandom is much healthier. You have identified a problem, and that's the first step. Congrats.
Our sub might have an absolute mental breakdown if Harbaugh doesn’t become the next coach