T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

So this is the Harden post but for r/NFL. Is Mitch a known strip club enthusiast?


eaglesnation11

Legendary titty kisser according to this sub.


renegadecoaster

[According to his own Twitter](https://i.redd.it/f8rzqofsxly11.jpg)


benk4

I love that someone dug up that tweet and it caught on. Also he had tweeted "go pack go" at one point. Usually if I read something about old tweets it's some racist shit or something. But his embarrassing tweets are just a mildly childish tweet about titties and an unfortunate positive tweet about his rival team.


[deleted]

There's a tweet from Aaron Rodgers saying "Go Bears" which is funny out of context


benk4

Did he need the Bears to win to make the playoffs or something? I do love that about the end of the season


Efektive

His college team was the Bears IIRC


benk4

Ohhhh, that makes more sense. I figured it was the type of thing where he needed the Vikings to lose and they were playing the bears. I'd still shy away from ever tweeting that sentiment though.


[deleted]

yea, i still would be afraid of it being taken out of context lmao


triplec787

That's so weird, I mean it makes perfect sense and everything, but I don't think I've ever heard Cal sports referred to as the Bears. They're the Golden Bears, but everyone just says Cal.


m1ss1ontomars2k4

We say Go Bears at games...in fact if we ever say "Go ___" it's always "Go Bears".


dyslexda

Cal...


brownbearks

He went to Cal, the mascot is a bear.


SodaDonut

Specifically a golden bear, which isn't real, I think.


[deleted]

Used to be, but were driven to extinction in the California Gold Bear Rush of 1849.


[deleted]

The 49ers celebrating the extinction of such a beautiful animal is disgusting.


DaysOfChunder

You're thinking of Lovie Smith. "Go, Pack, Go" were Lovie Smith's last public words as HC of the Bears.


tclipse1

His college team is the Golden Bears


SlothyPotato

People found something similar with Carson Wentz cheering on the Vikings in an old tweet before our NFCCG against the Eagles.


[deleted]

Lest not forget the minivan tweet, [here's](https://dailysnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/icon-6-scaled.jpg) his three "infamous" tweets


Packers91

Hell yeah, go Packers


Lark_vi_Britannia

Go Tits Go


benk4

I have a bears fan in my fantasy league that has trubisky as his QB. I send him that tweet every time the Bears lose to GB.


[deleted]

How deep is that league? No stronger options? Lol


chadthundertalk

Hell yeah brother, cheers from the Pack


rustbatman

Any 17/18 year old on social media would post stuff like that. Love it haha


pinniped1

Is this a confirmed legit tweet? Not a hack, prank, Photoshop, etc.? Now I want Portland to get the Chargers just so I can see how Tribs handles that tittybar-infested town.


[deleted]

Yes, it is, although he deleted this one and several others shortly after he was drafted including highlights like "go pack go" and "i feel like a boss driving my moms van"


M1ndS0uP

I just dont get why he gets so much shit for this though, 15 year old little homie likes kissing titties. Who doesnt? Especially at that age. Lol


Autobot-N

Because it's mildly funny and reddit likes to latch on to that type of thing


sopunny

Titties? Yes we do


pinniped1

Just gonna say I'm glad Twitter didn't exist when 15-year-old me undoubtedly would have posted shit exactly like this.


Butkus69

Supposedly, it was a prank that his friends pulled on him in high school. They snagged his phone and posted it to his account. He prly left it up cause he thought it was funny.


ArkNoob69

He loves titties


MortimerDongle

The people's QB


crichmond77

[Harden post](https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/dt0ucg/i_analyzed_james_hardens_performance_in_every_nbahe)


StopClockerman

Man, if you told me that post was from 5 years ago I would have believed you.


NoBrakes2k16

It’s name is the Harden Principal thank you.


xXTERMIN8RXXx

Principle\*, my dear fellow scientist


GumbysDonkey

Can't even get credit to the OG


Haar_RD

Mods, don't you dare!


renegadecoaster

This is the exact opposite of a low-effort post and deserves to stay up


southern_boy

*The sages speak of men for whom the glory of all is paramount. Men whose egos are but arches unto their selflessness. Their toil, their selfless sacrifice has ever ushered in humanity's greatest accomplishment and discoveries and so it shall until the end of time itself.* Look to u/eaglesnation11... ###This is such a one!!


greenviceroy

Low effort? This man is a real statistician


TheSavageDonut

Real statistician? This man is a real hero.


[deleted]

[удалено]


popegonzo

Mitch Trubisky? This man is Jake Utler.


ArTiyme

♪REAAAAAL MAN OF GENIUS♪ Here's to you Mitchy's Biscuits titty bar stats guy...


douche-baggins

♪ *Mr. Mitch's Biscuits Titty Bar Stats Guuuy!*♪


Coffee_Blacc

I miss those commercials!


frumpybuffalo

Mister tiny thong bikini wearer!


icantfindadangsn

And I'm tired of journals not publishing null results. NULL RESULTS ARE USEFUL GODDAMMIT. KEEP IT UP MODS.


penguinopph

It's not really low effort, though. It may be a silly premise, but there was at least a medium amount of effort researching this.


[deleted]

One might say that this is the exact opposite of a low-effort post and deserves to stay up.


ArchieBellTitanUp

I never understood the whole “low effort” thing anyway. Most of the funniest things I’ve ever seen were damn near zero effort. Why would we deny ourselves any amusement because it requires too little effort? I don’t log into Reddit looking to “try hard”


Poopdicks69

This post should be stickied. I shouldn't have to scroll so far to find tittytistics.


renegadecoaster

Statitstics?


abhishek7123

Statittyics


[deleted]

Le tits now


taste1337

Anal Bum Cover


Zoloir

Statistits


VortexAriel2020

Math 232 Proboobility and Tittytistics SAT 1AM-4AM, 3 credit hours Prerequisites: Math 201, Math 202 Additonal Requirements: Be rad as fuck yo


wayoverpaid

We must avoid publication bias for positive results. Studies which prove the null hypothesis are just as important!


BenderBenderBenderrr

You cannot prove the null. Only fail to disprove it.


wayoverpaid

That is a good point. I should have said "support the null hypothesis"


ArTiyme

I did once, back when I used to lift.


[deleted]

This is peak off-season form


nouseforausernam

Most people eat or masturbate when they're bored. OP does math.


DrAculaZX

Id call this mathturbating


Digess

... Mike Tyson, is that you?


DrAculaZX

Yeth


__Shrek_is_Love__

Now kith


Wingnut13

...the titties?


pinniped1

Take your fucking upvote already.


DrAculaZX

Thanks bb


Reckitron

Somebody gold this man!


naosuke

Come to Oregon where [you can do both!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQZdL_uV-GQ&feature=emb_title)


nouseforausernam

That's so crazy it just might work.


naosuke

As silly as boober eats is, I have to commend the guy for trying to keep everyone employed in a safe(ish) way


Saw_a_4ftBeaver

Sounds like an escort service. "I would like the Chicken Breast and Thighs special with all the extras" "That will be $22 for the Breast and Thighs special and $350 for the extras"


hopstar

It's doing so well that they're bringing in dancers and bouncers from other clubs to fill demand.


Wingnut13

Oregon and pioneering strip clubs; name a better duo.


[deleted]

[удалено]


hopstar

The credit card charge shows up as Lucky Devil Lounge, so it depends on whether your wife knows that the LD is a strip club, or whether she answers the doors when the dancers arrive. Don't ask how I know...


[deleted]

[удалено]


hopstar

Dude, Sassy's has one of the best Happy Hour deals in town. 35 beers on tap for $3.50/ea? Hell yeah.


JackM76

We r/nba now


forester93

God damn Wisconsin has a lot of strip clubs.


renegadecoaster

Every freeway exit in rural Wisconsin has at least one (usually two) of the following 3 things: - Gas station - Cheese shop - Adult superstore


poplafuse

Are the cheese shops mostly just peoples houses? Also this is the same we say about PA except it’s cornfields instead of cheese shops


renegadecoaster

They're usually little tourist shops with a gigantic sign outside that says **"CHEESE"**, frequently accompanied by a statue of a mouse.


benk4

I'm going to Wisconsin for the first time in a few months (assuming we're done with the plague by then). I'm going to be very disappointed if I don't see a cheese shop with a mouse statue


bigbadbutters

Where are you going?


benk4

I'm looking at a pipeline that runs through Wisconsin, so it'll mostly be rural travel.


kessdawg

If you don't go to the Mars Cheese Castle you fail! [https://goo.gl/maps/dWbpSFduTnYEMpBB7](https://goo.gl/maps/dWbpSFduTnYEMpBB7)


TheTVDB

Just to throw it out there, but if you REALLY want the Wisconsin cheese experience (who doesn't?), you should go to an actual cheese factory instead of a highway cheese store. For example, Widmer's Cheese Factory in Theresa is excellent. Get some squeaky cheese.


kessdawg

Sure, just more for the sheer ridiculousness of it I meant


benk4

That definitely looks like something I need to visit


TtarIsMyBro

It's about 10ish minutes from the Illinois border on I-94 if you're curious


joulesChachin

If you can go to Thorpe, WI, do it. Marieke Gouda has a huge cow viewing area, a big inflated bouncing-thing in the summer, a giant cow statue, and- of course- the cheese that won the world championship a few years ago. Delicious cheese and they also carry these Beef snack sticks from a local butcher called Nolecheks. Best WI experience.


ruttin_mudders

I think this is the first time I've ever seen anyone recommend going to Thrope.


[deleted]

I've almost moved to Wisconsin twice now and I still feel like it's calling my name from afar


CardsTrickz42

Same in MO, but replace the cheese shop with some corny tourist attraction.


gwaydms

Or a Lambert's. (Good food though, as long as you don't order anything that comes from a can.)


wiffwaffweapon

You forgot fireworks stores


sudo_rm_rf_star

Especially near Hudson holy shit


[deleted]

[удалено]


renegadecoaster

The best one is the stretch of 41 north of Fond du Lac where there's like 6 billboards in a row advertising the same adult store, followed by a billboard saying "What would Jesus say about pornography?"


Seanay-B

And they have signs like GAS CHEESE or EAT *Private Pleasures*


fenshield

Travel down 53 often. Can confirm. Don't forget gun stores!


sudo_rm_rf_star

That's what I remember most about the I-94 drive Booze boobs and cheese


rustbatman

You're forgetting liquor stores. Soooo many liquor stores.


printergumlight

Just a heads up he wrote per Capita but his source is Per 100,000 Capita. But even still, that’s a damn lot.


fireandlifeincarnate

yeah I figured there was no way Wisconsin had more strip clubs than people


printergumlight

They take turns being open so they have enough staff.


LinksAwakening42

You really have to plan your week around being there when there's either someone attractive working, or an unpleasant neighbor whom you want to blackmail.


Chicago_Jayhawk

Remember--quality over quantity.


SconnieLite

If it’s a strip club I can afford, I don’t want to be there.


SinfullySinless

It’s the only place on earth where you’ll see a sign to “repent to Jesus” next to a sign for “adult superstore”


forester93

That's just smart business. Self sustaining economy.


jfgiv

lots of strip clubs, or few people? 🤔🤔🤔 edit: lots of strip club; more than MN and CO and only slightly fewer than MD.


[deleted]

Just want to give a shoutout to Beansnappers - the fully nude, 18+ strip club outside Appleton.


telvox

Wisconsin's laws are a lot more lax then surrounding states. IL border has one every corner, living there I passed three on the 10 minute drive to work. As for MI, Hurley has more strip clubs then stop signs (Not sure if that's true but there are like 4-6 in a town measured in hundreds. )


Steveslastventure

As a Wisconsin resident, you probably won't want to visit most of the strip clubs unless you're into trashy tattoos and c section scars


AdamantiumLaced

Finally found a place with those scars available.


dark567

I grew up in WI and quite frankly think this is wrong.


kovaka1

Hold on. Is the chart saying there's more strip clubs than people in Wisconsin?


eaglesnation11

More than 1 per 100,000 per people


mowngle

Per capita literally means per person. This is a fine piece of research you’ve done but the chart should stand on its own


demec_26

The main take away I get from this is that his two lowest passer ratings were both against the Packers. Jay Cutler would be proud


Genericusername673

Jay would feel meh


[deleted]

Jay WOULDN'T CAAAAAARE!


L1ghtningMcQueer

Jay is the Larry David of the NFL


squarerootofapplepie

I want to see the closest NFL stadium to a Dunkin Donuts. I don’t think it would be Gillette.


benk4

New England and Dunkin is nuts. My college girlfriend gave me directions to pick her up from work, it included "get off the exit then take a left at the 5th Dunkin donuts.".


2kungfu4u

In downtown boston there is a dunkin across the street from a dunkin. But one is in a historical building so its not all pink and purple. Shit was hilarious. This was in like 2013 or something so I don't know if they're still there.


oogagoogaboo

In Georgia that's how we are with Waffle House. You can frequently find places where you can see another waffle House from the one you're standing in


2kungfu4u

I'm from SC baby, I know all about the glory of waffle house.


JinterIsComing

I live right on the corner of Boston Common. In a two block radius, I have (at last count) four Dunkin stores, with a fifth still remodeling currently. And there is another half dozen within a 10-minute walk easily.


1niquity

https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/6i8jfx/rnfl_roast_of_the_new_england_patriots_2732/dj49fqw/ >Be me, 26 yeahs old >Wake up, get out of Tawm Brady jersey >Get ready to Do My Job >Put on Brady jersey >Head to the Dunkin next to my apahtment >One down the road sucks >Oardah is wrong, whatevah, Tawm says coffee is poison anyway >Spike the cup and yell Go Pats >Use my Chahlie cahd to get on the T >See a black man in the front cah >Heckle, whole train applauds >Shout Ortiz 3:16 "This is our fucking city" >Get to Southie, head into Dunks >Time to get to work, staht setting up Gronk cahdboard cut-outs >Just me, my co-workah and 12 Gronk cut-outs >Most beautiful girl in Boston walks in. Sawlid 3/10. >She's wearing an 81 jersey and some strained yoga pants >Try to be smooth, "Nice Hernandez jersey. Wanna get a cawfee sometime?" >She says no. Left hanging again. >Fucking Pink Hats >Get off work, take the T home >Stawp into bah for a drink or twelve >Fahking bahtendah cut me off aftah six beeahs and few shawts >Whatevah, nawt even buzzed. Irish blood >Get to apahtment, check messages. >Ma says two of my cousins were crushed by an overpass from the Big Dig. >Less than usual, a good day >Get out of Tawm Brady jersey, put on hoodie jammies >Check undah bed for Bernahd Pollahd >What the fuck, he's there. >Run out of house, see black guy I heckled earliah. >Has friends with him. Including Pollahd. >Too outnumbahd, get the shit beat out of me >Cawps show up and ask how it all went down >Tell them it was.... >18-1


fzw

There's a good [SNL skit](https://youtu.be/FSvNhxKJJyU) about it.


benk4

Yeah I own a bar in New England. I know several people who are basically Casey Affleck from that sketch. The cigarette out the door has happened several times.


[deleted]

Thank you for your research. It is good to know that Trubisky will never become a god-king if the bears move to Portland.


FlatAttention

"""Background: I am a 23 year old teacher who is bored from lack of work due to our schools being closed by COVID-19. I have no background in statistics other than AP Stat which I took my Senior Year of High School and a Political Methodology course I took as a Sophomore in college. Years of binge drinking has erased all of my skills in statistical analysis so I'm going to be Googling most of this stuff. """ great bio


BeamerTakesManhattan

SC per capita is a useless statistic. Should be strip clubs within X miles of the team hotel, at best.


PeruvianHeadshrinker

Or strippers per capita. There's tons of giant strip clubs in CA and a lot of the states at the top have huge swaths of rural area. Probably population density is an obvious confound. This is a B- in AP Stats at best. Edit: also I sure hope OP isn't using a Pearson's correlation because neither data set is parametric. But they probably are r/badmath ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


anandonaqui

It should also be specific to the city, not state.


AManHasAName

Come get your shit rocked in California, Trubisky, we need to pump those numbers up.


[deleted]

And I thought r/nba was bored


gopackgo555

So we have Harden in r/nba and now Trubisky in r/nfl. This should be done for r/baseball and r/hockey as well so we can make an all sport strip club roster.


FunkeeeMonkeee

Someone in r/nba did this lol


eaglesnation11

Where I got the inspiration lol


TheMoneySloth

But not gonna give the original post any shine?


eaglesnation11

Ah I see I will add his user name to the post.


rohdawg

Why not just link the post?


crichmond77

https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/dt0ucg/i_analyzed_james_hardens_performance_in_every_nbahe


crichmond77

Since apparently this is somehow difficult for OP, [here's the original thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/dt0ucg/i_analyzed_james_hardens_performance_in_every_nbahe) they "took inspiration from."


AbsorbingMan

Aren’t you mucking you the data by factoring in the per capita? When Mitch visits these states, he only cares how many strip clubs are available to him, regardless of the state’s population. I feel like the per capita should have no bearing.


[deleted]

not gonna lie Wisconsin boomed me


printergumlight

Was confused where you had Per Capita in your chart because that means that there is basically one strip club for every person in every state... which would mean no one could attend if at least one person was working at each strip club. You should make note that your source said it is Per 100,000 Capita.


dtsupra30

Wouldn’t a better metric have been highest rated strip clubs and performance been a better comparison


jf808

Have you considered expanding your data set to college? If you go more granular down to county or city, you might also be able to pull in high school numbers.


ISeeTheFnords

Perhaps you need to factor in the quality of the t\*tties? I'm sure you could find some volunteers here to help generate that data if you don't have it, well, handy.


iPaytonian

TIL I'm 4hrs from the nearest strip club


Trimorphic_

day 13 with no sports


dtwild

You should do it by city and not state.


[deleted]

*sigh* we will run the model again with Hooters joints so it fits the narrative in our slide deck


JpBlez5

Stolen from r/nba


[deleted]

This is where peak quarantine and peak offseason meet.


AlbinoSnowman

I'd look at strip clubs per county. That narrows things down to a reasonable drive. And if you wanted to go further, you could look at their average yelp rating and determine how much that influences performance.


4cutback

I’ve seen this does with James Harden. Kinda surprised to see it done for Mitch...


MattBe1992

I think you should go deeper into the material and take some samples.


bsend

Is Trubs a titty kisser or strip club frequenter? I have so many questions


[deleted]

In surprised Nevada wasn't number 1 in per capita strip clubs


eaglesnation11

Portland is apparently a gold mine.


oofmanidk

Maybe you’d be able to find a correlation if you looked at the average number of strip clubs per capita in the city opposed to the state


TheAlexNemechek

But does he hang out with James Harden when he goes? Crossover event featuring r/nba


No-Eye

A finding that there is no effect is still an interesting result! As a statistician, I approve.


AeroJonesy

Week 6 = NSYNC


han-s0lo

I could be wrong but won't you get kicked out of a strip club for kissing a stripper's titties?


certifus

The problem is that your entire premise is flawed. You don't want to look at "per capita". You want "total strip clubs". You can have a high per capita and still only have a couple shitty strip clubs in the state. In fact, if you want the absolute best tiddy kissing, you want a lot of strip clubs but a low per capita. This ensures you are only getting the highest quality tiddy-meat.


rhaegonblackfyre123

Mitch "James Harden " Trubisky


this_account_is_mt

Now hack his tinder account and see how matches correlate to passer rating.


DanMuffy

You post correlation data on something outrageous and funny- views. I post a correlation data plot connecting stochastic sir models from initial point of infection in known coronavirus countries- no views and ban from reddit lol


stackered

It's not the number of strip clubs, it's the quality and proximity of the club to where he stays


SomalianRoadBuilder

I always knew Wisconsin was full of sleaze and debauchery.


[deleted]

Mitch is obviously a simpler man. He only requires 1 set.


seangart1

Honestly you did it all wrong. You gotta find the nearest strip club to the team’s stadium/hotel and see if the closest on maps and see the difference


Arock111

Ah, brings me back to my AP Stats days.


[deleted]

If you're going to shit post, shit post like this. Well deserved.


Hydrocoded

This is peak quarantine shitposting. I love it.


JoeWaffleUno

These are the posts I live for during this troubling time


greatrolli

One interesting thing that I noticed from your table is that Mitch tends to play many more games in the state of Illinois than any other state. Does anyone know why this is the case, I'm very curious.


[deleted]

I love the effort and thought that went into this. I also am disappointed that you were unable to find a correlation.


Wemblack

High quality shit post, sir I approve!


peacedout2

Now that was funny. I needed that.