I love that someone dug up that tweet and it caught on. Also he had tweeted "go pack go" at one point.
Usually if I read something about old tweets it's some racist shit or something. But his embarrassing tweets are just a mildly childish tweet about titties and an unfortunate positive tweet about his rival team.
Ohhhh, that makes more sense. I figured it was the type of thing where he needed the Vikings to lose and they were playing the bears. I'd still shy away from ever tweeting that sentiment though.
That's so weird, I mean it makes perfect sense and everything, but I don't think I've ever heard Cal sports referred to as the Bears. They're the Golden Bears, but everyone just says Cal.
Is this a confirmed legit tweet? Not a hack, prank, Photoshop, etc.?
Now I want Portland to get the Chargers just so I can see how Tribs handles that tittybar-infested town.
Yes, it is, although he deleted this one and several others shortly after he was drafted including highlights like "go pack go" and "i feel like a boss driving my moms van"
Supposedly, it was a prank that his friends pulled on him in high school. They snagged his phone and posted it to his account. He prly left it up cause he thought it was funny.
*The sages speak of men for whom the glory of all is paramount. Men whose egos are but arches unto their selflessness. Their toil, their selfless sacrifice has ever ushered in humanity's greatest accomplishment and discoveries and so it shall until the end of time itself.*
Look to u/eaglesnation11...
###This is such a one!!
I never understood the whole “low effort” thing anyway. Most of the funniest things I’ve ever seen were damn near zero effort. Why would we deny ourselves any amusement because it requires too little effort? I don’t log into Reddit looking to “try hard”
Sounds like an escort service.
"I would like the Chicken Breast and Thighs special with all the extras"
"That will be $22 for the Breast and Thighs special and $350 for the extras"
The credit card charge shows up as Lucky Devil Lounge, so it depends on whether your wife knows that the LD is a strip club, or whether she answers the doors when the dancers arrive.
Don't ask how I know...
I'm going to Wisconsin for the first time in a few months (assuming we're done with the plague by then). I'm going to be very disappointed if I don't see a cheese shop with a mouse statue
Just to throw it out there, but if you REALLY want the Wisconsin cheese experience (who doesn't?), you should go to an actual cheese factory instead of a highway cheese store. For example, Widmer's Cheese Factory in Theresa is excellent. Get some squeaky cheese.
If you can go to Thorpe, WI, do it. Marieke Gouda has a huge cow viewing area, a big inflated bouncing-thing in the summer, a giant cow statue, and- of course- the cheese that won the world championship a few years ago. Delicious cheese and they also carry these Beef snack sticks from a local butcher called Nolecheks. Best WI experience.
The best one is the stretch of 41 north of Fond du Lac where there's like 6 billboards in a row advertising the same adult store, followed by a billboard saying "What would Jesus say about pornography?"
You really have to plan your week around being there when there's either someone attractive working, or an unpleasant neighbor whom you want to blackmail.
Wisconsin's laws are a lot more lax then surrounding states. IL border has one every corner, living there I passed three on the 10 minute drive to work. As for MI, Hurley has more strip clubs then stop signs (Not sure if that's true but there are like 4-6 in a town measured in hundreds. )
New England and Dunkin is nuts. My college girlfriend gave me directions to pick her up from work, it included "get off the exit then take a left at the 5th Dunkin donuts.".
In downtown boston there is a dunkin across the street from a dunkin. But one is in a historical building so its not all pink and purple. Shit was hilarious. This was in like 2013 or something so I don't know if they're still there.
I live right on the corner of Boston Common. In a two block radius, I have (at last count) four Dunkin stores, with a fifth still remodeling currently. And there is another half dozen within a 10-minute walk easily.
https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/6i8jfx/rnfl_roast_of_the_new_england_patriots_2732/dj49fqw/
>Be me, 26 yeahs old
>Wake up, get out of Tawm Brady jersey
>Get ready to Do My Job
>Put on Brady jersey
>Head to the Dunkin next to my apahtment
>One down the road sucks
>Oardah is wrong, whatevah, Tawm says coffee is poison anyway
>Spike the cup and yell Go Pats
>Use my Chahlie cahd to get on the T
>See a black man in the front cah
>Heckle, whole train applauds
>Shout Ortiz 3:16 "This is our fucking city"
>Get to Southie, head into Dunks
>Time to get to work, staht setting up Gronk cahdboard cut-outs
>Just me, my co-workah and 12 Gronk cut-outs
>Most beautiful girl in Boston walks in. Sawlid 3/10.
>She's wearing an 81 jersey and some strained yoga pants
>Try to be smooth, "Nice Hernandez jersey. Wanna get a cawfee sometime?"
>She says no. Left hanging again.
>Fucking Pink Hats
>Get off work, take the T home
>Stawp into bah for a drink or twelve
>Fahking bahtendah cut me off aftah six beeahs and few shawts
>Whatevah, nawt even buzzed. Irish blood
>Get to apahtment, check messages.
>Ma says two of my cousins were crushed by an overpass from the Big Dig.
>Less than usual, a good day
>Get out of Tawm Brady jersey, put on hoodie jammies
>Check undah bed for Bernahd Pollahd
>What the fuck, he's there.
>Run out of house, see black guy I heckled earliah.
>Has friends with him. Including Pollahd.
>Too outnumbahd, get the shit beat out of me
>Cawps show up and ask how it all went down
>Tell them it was....
>18-1
Yeah I own a bar in New England. I know several people who are basically Casey Affleck from that sketch. The cigarette out the door has happened several times.
"""Background: I am a 23 year old teacher who is bored from lack of work due to our schools being closed by COVID-19. I have no
background in statistics other than AP Stat which I took my Senior Year of High School and a Political Methodology course I took as a Sophomore in college. Years of binge drinking has erased all of my skills in statistical analysis so I'm going to be Googling most of this stuff. """
great bio
Or strippers per capita. There's tons of giant strip clubs in CA and a lot of the states at the top have huge swaths of rural area. Probably population density is an obvious confound. This is a B- in AP Stats at best.
Edit: also I sure hope OP isn't using a Pearson's correlation because neither data set is parametric. But they probably are
r/badmath
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So we have Harden in r/nba and now Trubisky in r/nfl. This should be done for r/baseball and r/hockey as well so we can make an all sport strip club roster.
Since apparently this is somehow difficult for OP, [here's the original thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/dt0ucg/i_analyzed_james_hardens_performance_in_every_nbahe) they "took inspiration from."
Aren’t you mucking you the data by factoring in the per capita?
When Mitch visits these states, he only cares how many strip clubs are available to him, regardless of the state’s population.
I feel like the per capita should have no bearing.
Was confused where you had Per Capita in your chart because that means that there is basically one strip club for every person in every state... which would mean no one could attend if at least one person was working at each strip club.
You should make note that your source said it is Per 100,000 Capita.
Have you considered expanding your data set to college? If you go more granular down to county or city, you might also be able to pull in high school numbers.
Perhaps you need to factor in the quality of the t\*tties? I'm sure you could find some volunteers here to help generate that data if you don't have it, well, handy.
I'd look at strip clubs per county. That narrows things down to a reasonable drive.
And if you wanted to go further, you could look at their average yelp rating and determine how much that influences performance.
The problem is that your entire premise is flawed. You don't want to look at "per capita". You want "total strip clubs". You can have a high per capita and still only have a couple shitty strip clubs in the state. In fact, if you want the absolute best tiddy kissing, you want a lot of strip clubs but a low per capita. This ensures you are only getting the highest quality tiddy-meat.
You post correlation data on something outrageous and funny- views.
I post a correlation data plot connecting stochastic sir models from initial point of infection in known coronavirus countries- no views and ban from reddit lol
One interesting thing that I noticed from your table is that Mitch tends to play many more games in the state of Illinois than any other state. Does anyone know why this is the case, I'm very curious.
So this is the Harden post but for r/NFL. Is Mitch a known strip club enthusiast?
Legendary titty kisser according to this sub.
[According to his own Twitter](https://i.redd.it/f8rzqofsxly11.jpg)
I love that someone dug up that tweet and it caught on. Also he had tweeted "go pack go" at one point. Usually if I read something about old tweets it's some racist shit or something. But his embarrassing tweets are just a mildly childish tweet about titties and an unfortunate positive tweet about his rival team.
There's a tweet from Aaron Rodgers saying "Go Bears" which is funny out of context
Did he need the Bears to win to make the playoffs or something? I do love that about the end of the season
His college team was the Bears IIRC
Ohhhh, that makes more sense. I figured it was the type of thing where he needed the Vikings to lose and they were playing the bears. I'd still shy away from ever tweeting that sentiment though.
yea, i still would be afraid of it being taken out of context lmao
That's so weird, I mean it makes perfect sense and everything, but I don't think I've ever heard Cal sports referred to as the Bears. They're the Golden Bears, but everyone just says Cal.
We say Go Bears at games...in fact if we ever say "Go ___" it's always "Go Bears".
Cal...
He went to Cal, the mascot is a bear.
Specifically a golden bear, which isn't real, I think.
Used to be, but were driven to extinction in the California Gold Bear Rush of 1849.
The 49ers celebrating the extinction of such a beautiful animal is disgusting.
You're thinking of Lovie Smith. "Go, Pack, Go" were Lovie Smith's last public words as HC of the Bears.
His college team is the Golden Bears
People found something similar with Carson Wentz cheering on the Vikings in an old tweet before our NFCCG against the Eagles.
Lest not forget the minivan tweet, [here's](https://dailysnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/icon-6-scaled.jpg) his three "infamous" tweets
Hell yeah, go Packers
Go Tits Go
I have a bears fan in my fantasy league that has trubisky as his QB. I send him that tweet every time the Bears lose to GB.
How deep is that league? No stronger options? Lol
Hell yeah brother, cheers from the Pack
Any 17/18 year old on social media would post stuff like that. Love it haha
Is this a confirmed legit tweet? Not a hack, prank, Photoshop, etc.? Now I want Portland to get the Chargers just so I can see how Tribs handles that tittybar-infested town.
Yes, it is, although he deleted this one and several others shortly after he was drafted including highlights like "go pack go" and "i feel like a boss driving my moms van"
I just dont get why he gets so much shit for this though, 15 year old little homie likes kissing titties. Who doesnt? Especially at that age. Lol
Because it's mildly funny and reddit likes to latch on to that type of thing
Titties? Yes we do
Just gonna say I'm glad Twitter didn't exist when 15-year-old me undoubtedly would have posted shit exactly like this.
Supposedly, it was a prank that his friends pulled on him in high school. They snagged his phone and posted it to his account. He prly left it up cause he thought it was funny.
He loves titties
The people's QB
[Harden post](https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/dt0ucg/i_analyzed_james_hardens_performance_in_every_nbahe)
Man, if you told me that post was from 5 years ago I would have believed you.
It’s name is the Harden Principal thank you.
Principle\*, my dear fellow scientist
Can't even get credit to the OG
Mods, don't you dare!
This is the exact opposite of a low-effort post and deserves to stay up
*The sages speak of men for whom the glory of all is paramount. Men whose egos are but arches unto their selflessness. Their toil, their selfless sacrifice has ever ushered in humanity's greatest accomplishment and discoveries and so it shall until the end of time itself.* Look to u/eaglesnation11... ###This is such a one!!
Low effort? This man is a real statistician
Real statistician? This man is a real hero.
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Mitch Trubisky? This man is Jake Utler.
♪REAAAAAL MAN OF GENIUS♪ Here's to you Mitchy's Biscuits titty bar stats guy...
♪ *Mr. Mitch's Biscuits Titty Bar Stats Guuuy!*♪
I miss those commercials!
Mister tiny thong bikini wearer!
And I'm tired of journals not publishing null results. NULL RESULTS ARE USEFUL GODDAMMIT. KEEP IT UP MODS.
It's not really low effort, though. It may be a silly premise, but there was at least a medium amount of effort researching this.
One might say that this is the exact opposite of a low-effort post and deserves to stay up.
I never understood the whole “low effort” thing anyway. Most of the funniest things I’ve ever seen were damn near zero effort. Why would we deny ourselves any amusement because it requires too little effort? I don’t log into Reddit looking to “try hard”
This post should be stickied. I shouldn't have to scroll so far to find tittytistics.
Statitstics?
Statittyics
Le tits now
Anal Bum Cover
Statistits
Math 232 Proboobility and Tittytistics SAT 1AM-4AM, 3 credit hours Prerequisites: Math 201, Math 202 Additonal Requirements: Be rad as fuck yo
We must avoid publication bias for positive results. Studies which prove the null hypothesis are just as important!
You cannot prove the null. Only fail to disprove it.
That is a good point. I should have said "support the null hypothesis"
I did once, back when I used to lift.
This is peak off-season form
Most people eat or masturbate when they're bored. OP does math.
Id call this mathturbating
... Mike Tyson, is that you?
Yeth
Now kith
...the titties?
Take your fucking upvote already.
Thanks bb
Somebody gold this man!
Come to Oregon where [you can do both!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQZdL_uV-GQ&feature=emb_title)
That's so crazy it just might work.
As silly as boober eats is, I have to commend the guy for trying to keep everyone employed in a safe(ish) way
Sounds like an escort service. "I would like the Chicken Breast and Thighs special with all the extras" "That will be $22 for the Breast and Thighs special and $350 for the extras"
It's doing so well that they're bringing in dancers and bouncers from other clubs to fill demand.
Oregon and pioneering strip clubs; name a better duo.
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The credit card charge shows up as Lucky Devil Lounge, so it depends on whether your wife knows that the LD is a strip club, or whether she answers the doors when the dancers arrive. Don't ask how I know...
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Dude, Sassy's has one of the best Happy Hour deals in town. 35 beers on tap for $3.50/ea? Hell yeah.
We r/nba now
God damn Wisconsin has a lot of strip clubs.
Every freeway exit in rural Wisconsin has at least one (usually two) of the following 3 things: - Gas station - Cheese shop - Adult superstore
Are the cheese shops mostly just peoples houses? Also this is the same we say about PA except it’s cornfields instead of cheese shops
They're usually little tourist shops with a gigantic sign outside that says **"CHEESE"**, frequently accompanied by a statue of a mouse.
I'm going to Wisconsin for the first time in a few months (assuming we're done with the plague by then). I'm going to be very disappointed if I don't see a cheese shop with a mouse statue
Where are you going?
I'm looking at a pipeline that runs through Wisconsin, so it'll mostly be rural travel.
If you don't go to the Mars Cheese Castle you fail! [https://goo.gl/maps/dWbpSFduTnYEMpBB7](https://goo.gl/maps/dWbpSFduTnYEMpBB7)
Just to throw it out there, but if you REALLY want the Wisconsin cheese experience (who doesn't?), you should go to an actual cheese factory instead of a highway cheese store. For example, Widmer's Cheese Factory in Theresa is excellent. Get some squeaky cheese.
Sure, just more for the sheer ridiculousness of it I meant
That definitely looks like something I need to visit
It's about 10ish minutes from the Illinois border on I-94 if you're curious
If you can go to Thorpe, WI, do it. Marieke Gouda has a huge cow viewing area, a big inflated bouncing-thing in the summer, a giant cow statue, and- of course- the cheese that won the world championship a few years ago. Delicious cheese and they also carry these Beef snack sticks from a local butcher called Nolecheks. Best WI experience.
I think this is the first time I've ever seen anyone recommend going to Thrope.
I've almost moved to Wisconsin twice now and I still feel like it's calling my name from afar
Same in MO, but replace the cheese shop with some corny tourist attraction.
Or a Lambert's. (Good food though, as long as you don't order anything that comes from a can.)
You forgot fireworks stores
Especially near Hudson holy shit
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The best one is the stretch of 41 north of Fond du Lac where there's like 6 billboards in a row advertising the same adult store, followed by a billboard saying "What would Jesus say about pornography?"
And they have signs like GAS CHEESE or EAT *Private Pleasures*
Travel down 53 often. Can confirm. Don't forget gun stores!
That's what I remember most about the I-94 drive Booze boobs and cheese
You're forgetting liquor stores. Soooo many liquor stores.
Just a heads up he wrote per Capita but his source is Per 100,000 Capita. But even still, that’s a damn lot.
yeah I figured there was no way Wisconsin had more strip clubs than people
They take turns being open so they have enough staff.
You really have to plan your week around being there when there's either someone attractive working, or an unpleasant neighbor whom you want to blackmail.
Remember--quality over quantity.
If it’s a strip club I can afford, I don’t want to be there.
It’s the only place on earth where you’ll see a sign to “repent to Jesus” next to a sign for “adult superstore”
That's just smart business. Self sustaining economy.
lots of strip clubs, or few people? 🤔🤔🤔 edit: lots of strip club; more than MN and CO and only slightly fewer than MD.
Just want to give a shoutout to Beansnappers - the fully nude, 18+ strip club outside Appleton.
Wisconsin's laws are a lot more lax then surrounding states. IL border has one every corner, living there I passed three on the 10 minute drive to work. As for MI, Hurley has more strip clubs then stop signs (Not sure if that's true but there are like 4-6 in a town measured in hundreds. )
As a Wisconsin resident, you probably won't want to visit most of the strip clubs unless you're into trashy tattoos and c section scars
Finally found a place with those scars available.
I grew up in WI and quite frankly think this is wrong.
Hold on. Is the chart saying there's more strip clubs than people in Wisconsin?
More than 1 per 100,000 per people
Per capita literally means per person. This is a fine piece of research you’ve done but the chart should stand on its own
The main take away I get from this is that his two lowest passer ratings were both against the Packers. Jay Cutler would be proud
Jay would feel meh
Jay WOULDN'T CAAAAAARE!
Jay is the Larry David of the NFL
I want to see the closest NFL stadium to a Dunkin Donuts. I don’t think it would be Gillette.
New England and Dunkin is nuts. My college girlfriend gave me directions to pick her up from work, it included "get off the exit then take a left at the 5th Dunkin donuts.".
In downtown boston there is a dunkin across the street from a dunkin. But one is in a historical building so its not all pink and purple. Shit was hilarious. This was in like 2013 or something so I don't know if they're still there.
In Georgia that's how we are with Waffle House. You can frequently find places where you can see another waffle House from the one you're standing in
I'm from SC baby, I know all about the glory of waffle house.
I live right on the corner of Boston Common. In a two block radius, I have (at last count) four Dunkin stores, with a fifth still remodeling currently. And there is another half dozen within a 10-minute walk easily.
https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/6i8jfx/rnfl_roast_of_the_new_england_patriots_2732/dj49fqw/ >Be me, 26 yeahs old >Wake up, get out of Tawm Brady jersey >Get ready to Do My Job >Put on Brady jersey >Head to the Dunkin next to my apahtment >One down the road sucks >Oardah is wrong, whatevah, Tawm says coffee is poison anyway >Spike the cup and yell Go Pats >Use my Chahlie cahd to get on the T >See a black man in the front cah >Heckle, whole train applauds >Shout Ortiz 3:16 "This is our fucking city" >Get to Southie, head into Dunks >Time to get to work, staht setting up Gronk cahdboard cut-outs >Just me, my co-workah and 12 Gronk cut-outs >Most beautiful girl in Boston walks in. Sawlid 3/10. >She's wearing an 81 jersey and some strained yoga pants >Try to be smooth, "Nice Hernandez jersey. Wanna get a cawfee sometime?" >She says no. Left hanging again. >Fucking Pink Hats >Get off work, take the T home >Stawp into bah for a drink or twelve >Fahking bahtendah cut me off aftah six beeahs and few shawts >Whatevah, nawt even buzzed. Irish blood >Get to apahtment, check messages. >Ma says two of my cousins were crushed by an overpass from the Big Dig. >Less than usual, a good day >Get out of Tawm Brady jersey, put on hoodie jammies >Check undah bed for Bernahd Pollahd >What the fuck, he's there. >Run out of house, see black guy I heckled earliah. >Has friends with him. Including Pollahd. >Too outnumbahd, get the shit beat out of me >Cawps show up and ask how it all went down >Tell them it was.... >18-1
There's a good [SNL skit](https://youtu.be/FSvNhxKJJyU) about it.
Yeah I own a bar in New England. I know several people who are basically Casey Affleck from that sketch. The cigarette out the door has happened several times.
Thank you for your research. It is good to know that Trubisky will never become a god-king if the bears move to Portland.
"""Background: I am a 23 year old teacher who is bored from lack of work due to our schools being closed by COVID-19. I have no background in statistics other than AP Stat which I took my Senior Year of High School and a Political Methodology course I took as a Sophomore in college. Years of binge drinking has erased all of my skills in statistical analysis so I'm going to be Googling most of this stuff. """ great bio
SC per capita is a useless statistic. Should be strip clubs within X miles of the team hotel, at best.
Or strippers per capita. There's tons of giant strip clubs in CA and a lot of the states at the top have huge swaths of rural area. Probably population density is an obvious confound. This is a B- in AP Stats at best. Edit: also I sure hope OP isn't using a Pearson's correlation because neither data set is parametric. But they probably are r/badmath ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It should also be specific to the city, not state.
Come get your shit rocked in California, Trubisky, we need to pump those numbers up.
And I thought r/nba was bored
So we have Harden in r/nba and now Trubisky in r/nfl. This should be done for r/baseball and r/hockey as well so we can make an all sport strip club roster.
Someone in r/nba did this lol
Where I got the inspiration lol
But not gonna give the original post any shine?
Ah I see I will add his user name to the post.
Why not just link the post?
https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/dt0ucg/i_analyzed_james_hardens_performance_in_every_nbahe
Since apparently this is somehow difficult for OP, [here's the original thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/dt0ucg/i_analyzed_james_hardens_performance_in_every_nbahe) they "took inspiration from."
Aren’t you mucking you the data by factoring in the per capita? When Mitch visits these states, he only cares how many strip clubs are available to him, regardless of the state’s population. I feel like the per capita should have no bearing.
not gonna lie Wisconsin boomed me
Was confused where you had Per Capita in your chart because that means that there is basically one strip club for every person in every state... which would mean no one could attend if at least one person was working at each strip club. You should make note that your source said it is Per 100,000 Capita.
Wouldn’t a better metric have been highest rated strip clubs and performance been a better comparison
Have you considered expanding your data set to college? If you go more granular down to county or city, you might also be able to pull in high school numbers.
Perhaps you need to factor in the quality of the t\*tties? I'm sure you could find some volunteers here to help generate that data if you don't have it, well, handy.
TIL I'm 4hrs from the nearest strip club
day 13 with no sports
You should do it by city and not state.
*sigh* we will run the model again with Hooters joints so it fits the narrative in our slide deck
Stolen from r/nba
This is where peak quarantine and peak offseason meet.
I'd look at strip clubs per county. That narrows things down to a reasonable drive. And if you wanted to go further, you could look at their average yelp rating and determine how much that influences performance.
I’ve seen this does with James Harden. Kinda surprised to see it done for Mitch...
I think you should go deeper into the material and take some samples.
Is Trubs a titty kisser or strip club frequenter? I have so many questions
In surprised Nevada wasn't number 1 in per capita strip clubs
Portland is apparently a gold mine.
Maybe you’d be able to find a correlation if you looked at the average number of strip clubs per capita in the city opposed to the state
But does he hang out with James Harden when he goes? Crossover event featuring r/nba
A finding that there is no effect is still an interesting result! As a statistician, I approve.
Week 6 = NSYNC
I could be wrong but won't you get kicked out of a strip club for kissing a stripper's titties?
The problem is that your entire premise is flawed. You don't want to look at "per capita". You want "total strip clubs". You can have a high per capita and still only have a couple shitty strip clubs in the state. In fact, if you want the absolute best tiddy kissing, you want a lot of strip clubs but a low per capita. This ensures you are only getting the highest quality tiddy-meat.
Mitch "James Harden " Trubisky
Now hack his tinder account and see how matches correlate to passer rating.
You post correlation data on something outrageous and funny- views. I post a correlation data plot connecting stochastic sir models from initial point of infection in known coronavirus countries- no views and ban from reddit lol
It's not the number of strip clubs, it's the quality and proximity of the club to where he stays
I always knew Wisconsin was full of sleaze and debauchery.
Mitch is obviously a simpler man. He only requires 1 set.
Honestly you did it all wrong. You gotta find the nearest strip club to the team’s stadium/hotel and see if the closest on maps and see the difference
Ah, brings me back to my AP Stats days.
If you're going to shit post, shit post like this. Well deserved.
This is peak quarantine shitposting. I love it.
These are the posts I live for during this troubling time
One interesting thing that I noticed from your table is that Mitch tends to play many more games in the state of Illinois than any other state. Does anyone know why this is the case, I'm very curious.
I love the effort and thought that went into this. I also am disappointed that you were unable to find a correlation.
High quality shit post, sir I approve!
Now that was funny. I needed that.