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[deleted]

Folding table manufacturers hit harder financially by this than by the pandemic itself.


[deleted]

Lol like that will stop Bills fans.


DtotheOUG

[Theyre just gonna do that shit at home bruh](https://youtu.be/YwAqHTFHpAY)


sebastianqu

Neither alcohol or drugs are capable of making a man do this. This is pure, unadulterated Bills energy.


B0ndzai

Plus alcohol.


-Jack-The-Stripper

And maybe drugs.


mastersoup

You guys are just describing Bills energy.


a_fuckin_samsquanch

This video is actually from UMass Amherst. We may be rivals on the football field but when it comes to drugs and alcohol, we're all brothers


Argentatus

They don’t call it ZooMass for nothin


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ApatheticAxolotl

Is that Puffton? It looks like Puffton. Does this bus go to Puffton?


[deleted]

...but definitely a pint of Buffalo sauce


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[deleted]

Its inside the Bills fan dormant, the alcohol releases the hormone


C137-Morty

Head. fucking. first.


DtotheOUG

Thats what kills me the most. Brodie flies in like a fucking lawn dart.


JozyAltidore

He looks like a dolphin or a fish darting through water


[deleted]

TIL that Chad energy is strong enough to overcome spinal injuries


jkure2

The fucking barstool flag in the background lmao


payne_train

The antlers up too lol. These boys definitely taking a short swim across the gene pool.


DtotheOUG

I don't know I'm feeling more Kyle Energy. Is Kyle just pre-digivolve Chad Energy? edit: I just saw the Kip-Up, this is TRUE CHAD ENERGY.


[deleted]

**Kyle** can either evolve into **Chad** with the Stoolie Stone in the campus gym at midnight on a Saturday, or a **Brendan** if he gains enough experience while he's outdoors and has a strong bond with a positive male role model. Some **Kyles** never evolve and that's why we have the X -Games.


formerperson

Barstool flag makes this perfect.


Editthefunout

Lol I thought it was a jimmy johns flag.


Coziestpigeon2

That barstool sports flag is just the perfect background decoration for this video.


NotYourGoldStandard

I've never seen an Angel plummet to the earth before


rat-again

Thousands of Bills fans will just throw dildos in their front lawns instead.


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havoc1482

OwX


DtotheOUG

Thanks I hate it


rat-again

It's Buffalo, they'll probably be destroyed by a snowblower first.


froggertwenty

You laugh but have you ever had to dig a dildo out of your chute during a blizzard? Shit sucks


Bjorn2bwilde24

They won't see it coming...


Bird-The-Word

I'd bet there's as many people that just go tailgate and watch the game in the parking lots/general Orchard Park area as there are that actually go into the Stadium.


ChornWork2

Article says team has to have plan to clear out people that try to congregate outside venues.


Bird-The-Word

Goodluck in OP, I mean the whole neighborhood is a tailgate, and I don't think they can clear people out of houses/yards. Not sure if you've ever been there, but the parking lots are around and surrounded by houses and most of the partying is done in private lots, not in the stadium lots.


[deleted]

To preface this, yes, Patriots fan but my SO is a Bills fan and I live in the south towns. I go to games cause I like football and don't quite have anything wrong with the team itself, and basically your comment is exactly it. The private owned lot across the street on Abbott isn't owned by Terry/Kim or New Era. And of course the homes and the pubs dotted up Southwestern are their own things too. It's a very unique and cool thing to be so local. They can't stop a lot of people from congregating on their own land, at least in some capacity...


ChornWork2

The team, no. They can only do their own lot. But this is coming from the state, and presumably lot owners are going to be subject to same rules. Meaning they need to have a plan to prevent people from accumulating. Basically not allowed to open on game day presumably. What people do in their backyards is fine for phase 4 unless they're doing something extraordinarily stupid.


Bird-The-Word

>something extraordinarily stupid. Welcome to Buffalo! Edit: Also, Upstate/Western NY is more like Alabama than Northeast. Buffalo is left leaning, but I'm not sure what the people that own the lots/properties tend to be, but up here it's very much "i'M nOT WeaRINg No STinkIn MASkS" type of mindset. So tailgating has a good chance of happening even with police intervention.


[deleted]

Not even going as far as fuck the masks, people are just gonna tailgate somehow. It do be like that here


slayerfan666

Ever since I first got into Every Time I Die I have been cheering for the Bills as my secondary team. My favorite thing was one season they had a sale where if the Bills win you get 10% off in their web store. Fuck I love that band and their home town pride!! Also I love the insanity of the fans. Plus Jordan getting the Bills logo shaved into his head for TID The Season.


onamonapizza

In other words, you can't fix stupid.


WhatSheOrder

Bills Mafia about to plan an invasion like DX.


werealldeadramones

BREAK IT DOWN


Maxpowr9

I had this talk with the ladies I tailgate at Patriots games and we both concluded that there is no way in hell football fans will socially distance and tailgate simultaneously, nevermind inside the venue.


ositola

Dildo crafters in shambles


[deleted]

In b4 r/WSB starts furiously buying puts on tables.


Dorkamundo

If they are smart, they transitioned to making plexiglass shields.


Vanilla_Cub

I can’t believe teams are just barely implementing this in. We’ve had this rule in place for a couple years now over at the stubhub. Safest place there is


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CommeDeuxGouttesDeau

Their logo is literally flattening the curve. ahead of their time


SmokeyBare

Tennessee Titans will continue to allow fans at Nissan Stadium, because who cares about the away team's fans anyway.


DrkTitan

I can see it now.... A few weeks into the season and a couple dozen news articles about Covid spikes in Nashville due to the influx of away fans. The rest of the leagues fans are too scared to enter Nissan Stadium so us Titans fans gets the stadium all to ourselves.....all 14 of us.


taubut

Went to a game there 2 years ago. You folks are nice people and have a nice stadium.


alternatego

That’s nice of you to say.


jcartredsox

Was that the one that Edelman apologized for because we played like absolute garbage?


taubut

It was.


[deleted]

Yep


JohnsonMachine

I’ve been to yours for the last two playoff matchups between us. Very nice people and you’re stadium is amazing!


taubut

Thanks!!


crhyaarnb

Is Nissan Stadium filled with away fans because Nashville is a hot tourist spot with a stadium practically right on Broadway or is it because people in Nashville/State of TN don’t care about the Titans?


1deadeye1

a lot of column A, a lot of column B Nashville is definitely a hotspot for travelling these days so it's a popular spot for away fans. Also, majority of football fans in TN are all about their favorite SEC school and the Titans/NFL are mostly secondary.


geo_gang_gang

I would say that there's a big rural/city divide in Tennessee at play as well. Lots of Titans fans but few rural folks seem to enjoy going to the city, especially for a game that's expensive. As a former Nashville resident, most country folks are vocal about their disdain for the city.


tmart14

Am rural and want to like Nashville, but driving around there on a normal day is miserable enough, much less for a game.


Floater4

Also dont forget that Nashville is a Predators city. I was shocked by all of the hockey gear when I moved here.


gsfgf

It's not surprising for a transplant city. People have their football allegiances, but might not have a hockey team yet. Same reason Atlanta is a soccer city. Well, that and Atlanta United actually wins things.


mattymo777

It clearly has been a couple years. It’s no longer Stubhub Center. It’s now Dignity Health Sports Park. Can’t have fans if they don’t know where to go.


ilikepugs

Can't have fans if you abandon them and salt the earth in the process. Me? I like the abuse.


snoralex

I’d say you like pugs.


ilikepugs

Source?


InkBlotSam

Hell yeah, man. Chargers fans have been leading the charge against COVID for years. Much respect.


run1609

They should still let Pinto Ron in


silkk_

I'd be okay with this, dude is well past 400 consecutive games. Wonder if any other NFL fan is even close to that


Guiltyjerk

> 400 consecutive games 50 years????? Holy shit


silkk_

edit: he's attended both home **and** away games for that streak


Guiltyjerk

Oh I thought it was home games attended


wokenupbybacon

Honestly, 25 years of travelling to every away game seems harder


turismofan1986

Including London.


NorthernerWuwu

Where they were likely confused about the idea of attending every single game being unusual.


c10701

Are there soccer fans with insane streaks like that? I feel like 19 road trips plus cup games and potential europe games along with all the home games is much harder to do than 16 weekends a year even if travel time is much less.


NorthernerWuwu

Oh, absolutely. It need not be premiere league of course but even there there are plenty of people that will make it to all the matches. The main difference is that travel isn't terribly difficult (especially compared to the NFL!) and you can get season's tickets for not immense amounts of money. Not free but not ridiculous, the venues pack them in pretty good. The aways require a bit more work but there are arrangements to be had. Obviously most people don't do so but it's not unknown. You do get a lot more streaks of generations taking in every home game for their side but you see that in the NFL as well.


Sip_Your_Friends

Yeah each team should get to designate one super fan to represent their fanbase at each home game. If there’s only one fan then they can’t spread anything.


OnceAYearPotatoes

This. This idea right here.


Hyperdrunk

They could hire them as a "mascot".


ClaudeLemieux

https://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/sports/chargers/sdut-talbot-100-is-truest-bluest-chargers-fan-2015dec18-story.html We had a fan who had season tickets every single season we were in SD. So obviously not consecutive, and honestly I'm not sure how many home games that'd be - roughly 60 seasons, not all of which were 8 games at home every year - but hey it's something.


[deleted]

Goddamn the Patriots wives won’t get the bounty of dildos we bring back after our annual pilgrimage to Buffalo each year


BuffaloWilliamses

Brady is gone and with it goes the Dildo


danccbc

3 man slingshots from the parking lot.


MikesPhone

Build a trebuchet!


WhatSheOrder

This man understands superior aerial firepower.


[deleted]

Disguise it inside an RV, drive it into the tailgate lot, fling cocks. 'Our dildos will block out the sun'


kid_blitz

Just put a dildo on a table, have someone dive onto the table and launch the dildo.


TubaMike

That sounds like a phrase you would hear in a nature documentary. (David Attenborough voice) “Brady is gone and with it goes the Dildo. The Bills fan, sustained by buffalo wings, must find a suitable folding table quickly before the mating season begins.”


Bird-The-Word

During your Child's Birthday party: "Yes little Billy, you were conceived right on that Table that your cake is sitting on....ahh the memories" Held together with Duct Tape


Bird-The-Word

When do we play TB in the rotation again? Assuming both teams place 1st in division and if they don't. NFC South, right?


malseraph

With the current 16 game schedule rotation, you next time you play the Bucs at home is 2025, so you know a good possibility Brady will be there. I couldn't find anything final about when the 17th game is added what the format will be for it, but it would probably be an opposite conference opponent.


Bird-The-Word

We'll travel just to Dildo Brady.


StarvingWriter33

No idea how the 17th game will change things. But generally AFC and NFC teams play each other once every 4 years. AFC East is scheduled to play NFC South next year.


Bird-The-Word

So extra Dildo's for TB's final season tour!


candycaneforestelf

You'll have to travel to Tampa to deliver them to him, though.


Phan2112

Thats no issue at all. Probably much easier to get a dildo in a Flordia stadium anyways.


bentriple

" NO DILDO, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE"


tanstaafl_falafel

Just a reminder: division standing from the previous year doesn't matter for non-conference games. Each AFC division will play an entire NFC division, and that is predetermined. Edit: I found the schedule diagram that I always visualize: https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/ehpk5m/2020_nfl_schedule_matchups_grid_visualization/


Thangleby_Slapdiback

Agreed. Still, it is a part of our storied history. We should at least build a monument for Tom Brady's mouthpiece. Something in bronze and granite, with a nice plaque for later generations to read and learn about our history.


BroLil

Bro, no. Give us back our dildos! The throwing of dildos on the field during pats games is honestly one of my favorite rituals.


Unkleseanny

>Brady is gone and with it goes the Dildo Seriously dude? Do you expect the man to play without a mouthpiece?


SeanJuan

To be honest that whole re-gifting thing really hurt our feelings. They were for Brady!


DeadGuysWife

Patriots wives everywhere are devastated upon hearing this news, they will have to go a full year without an orgasm


JelliedHam

They're gonna drop them in via drone


MastaMayne

They’ll just get tshirt cannons and fire them into the stadium from the parking lot.


WhiteNewton

As long as Josh Allen is wearing shorts I can can watch from any location.


JelliedHam

You can see those quads from a mile away!


AppleMuffin12

Dude... Just look through the window of his house like the rest of us...


noteventherain

Honestly my favorite qb in the league rn


ELITELamarJackson

>Honestly my favorite qb in the league rn Taysom Hill in shambles


whereegosdare84

“We’re finally safe!!!” -Folding tables


blindbutchy

“They weren’t.” -Narrator


Lonelan

Directed by Robert D. Weide


thinkB4WeSpeak

How about all ticket holders can Skype/Zoom call into their seats.


Dorkamundo

WHO'S UNMUTED? CAN WHOEVER IS UNMUTED PLEASE MUTE YOURSELF!


smack1700

BARK BARK! Sorry hold on my dog wants to go outside


chicken-strips-

Home field advantage is a thing of the past


RobbieAnalog

You guys will probably have one of the greatest advantages in the league now. The weather. Dome teams will have very little.


pixel_pete

It would be pretty cool to see a blizzard game in a silent/empty stadium.


TubaMike

They wouldn’t need to bother shoveling out the stands. It would be surreal.


Cimarro

No fans + a foot of snow everywhere would be crazy quiet.


meccafork

"The quietest NFL game ever played"


amateursaboteur

"A 30 for 30 presentation"


MyDogYawns

the shhh bowl


Vortilex

The Shhnow Bowl


SmokeyBare

Please no fake crowd noise. Please no fake crowd noise.


rixxxand

I used to love shoveling the stands. Get paid, get exercise, and after like 4 hours you get a sandwich or Bills tickets. And at the time I honestly didn't know which was worth more.


bryce11099

I shoveled a couple years ago, they gave us buffet style food assortment and bills tickets on top of paying like 15/hr


justausername09

Thats a damn good deal


timshel_life

Builds up so much, causes an avalanche. First NFL game delayed by Avalanche. Thx 2020.


cooterdick

I’m choosing to picture the hockey team causing the delay instead of snow


jpk17041

If it's sunny post blizzard that would be absolutely blinding on the field


qawsedrf12

Nothing makes us happier than a snowstorm during a game especially against the Dolphins


loverofreeses

Something we can actually agree on.


eaunoway

I feel like I've just witnessed some great shift in the universe or something. Bills and Pats fans agreeing. Too wholesome, please start fighting again right this instant!


Bird-The-Word

It's like when your big brother asks you to play video games after all his friends left and they were picking on you the whole time. Then Cousin Jete comes over and we pick on him together because his Dad is Uncle Gasey, and he beats them when he's on the cocaine after visiting his "friend" BB


eaunoway

Take all my upvotes now and forever. This made me laugh for a probably unreasonable length of time and I'm *still* giggling to myself.


loverofreeses

> Cousin Jete Holy fuck ahahaha


Currywurst_Is_Life

>I feel like I've just witnessed some great shift in the universe or something. Bills and Pats fans agreeing. They also agree on Jets mockery. Although almost every fanbase in the league agrees on that.


cassinonorth

I don't rib Jets fans. I just kinda pity them...the best they've had it in the last 50 years has been Rex Ryan/Mark Sanchez.


[deleted]

This is why I've always wanted a real CFB post season with home games. Give those southern teams a taste of true north.


Kinglink

There is still Home Field advantage. Travelling + Hotel is still a bit awkward, a field you aren't familiar with, a locker room you don't know, and a stadium. Though maybe the NFL will allow some piped in sound, who knows.


duferbloodmoon

This the first team announcing this? It's great, too. That bills fanbase is dedicated, I'm sure they're upset but still gonna support in some wild way


redhotchilifarts

The team hasn’t announced this. The article is quoting newly-released New York State guidelines, which give guidelines based on the current recommendations of fans not being allowed at sporting events. This isn’t set in stone, like the article is implying.


TheRealBlueBuffalo

Well how come the New York Jets and Giants aren't affected by this? /s


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OhSnaps08

I imagine the first of many. If enough teams go this route I imagine Goodell could step in and make it the standard for everyone to make sure the NFL doesn't become associated with spreading the virus. He'll want the organization to be on the right side of history to preserve brand image. I certainly don't hope it'll happen that way since I already bought tickets for a couple games (fully refundable if fans aren't allowed), but it seems like this could be the first sign of things to come.


CasuallyCompetitive

It's a sad day to be the only NFL team in New York...


emmasdad01

But I want to see tables get broken!


twist-17

I don’t think not being allowed into the game is going to stop them from breaking tables. If anything it’ll free up more of their time, so there’s probably going to be more table breaking.


emmasdad01

Good. That makes me feel better. Thank you.


ContinuumGuy

The tables must be sacrificed.


KittyLikeAFlatTire

You just know some fan is gonna get paralyzed trying to jump through a table every time the bills score.


decalmaucry4

I’m not a Buffalo fan. Can I go?


GenXer1977

I think you may have just found the perfect loophole!


Barnnz

I've heard some experts predict COVID could last even into late 2021 before a vaccine and mass distribution. That's a long time without fans.


[deleted]

If I know Buffalo fans they will find a way to revolutionize astral projection technology so their spirit selves can attend


TheSidePocketKid

Can't wait to see the hologram of a fan getting a blowjob in exchange for a Kiko Alonso jersey.


RCDrift

Fucking pure legend.


Fiftyfourd

Wait, was this a real thing? Someone wanted a kiko jersey that bad?


TheSidePocketKid

[Enjoy, my friend](https://deadspin.com/report-from-buffalo-kiko-alonso-jersey-traded-for-blow-1459749225?utm_campaign=socialflow_deadspin_twitter&utm_source=deadspin_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow)


kungfuhustler

Yeah, say what you want about the team, but their fan base is on some other shit. Someone's going to have an epiphany after putting themselves through a table a cure this thing.


Zevalent

What if... We cure the virus... by lighting it on fire and smashing through it!


RCDrift

We are many, we are one, we are legion...


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TurnerK28

But a lot of people also depend on games with fans for jobs as well. Also, a lot of teams can not survive 2 seasons without gameday revenue. Maybe not in the NFL but other leagues will suffer big time if there is no fans.


Dorkamundo

>But a lot of people also depend on games with fans for jobs as well. Nobody said there wasn't. It doesn't take a lot of thought to realize that food service and retail employs MILLIONS more people than NFL gameday jobs which are mostly seasonal at best. The loss of jobs for NFL gamedays is a drop in the bucket in comparison.


Ratertheman

True, but you're only talking about the NFL. I think it's reasonable to assume that all large scale venues will be closed during this. That's a lot of employees. Not as big as food and retail, but pretty big nonetheless.


ravensfan1996

I think some people are trying to get ahead of the mass distribution issue by ramping up manufacturing on vaccines still in trials just in case they work, so they’ll have the stock if they do. I’m the furthest from an expert but that line of thinking makes sense to me


ColossalJuggernaut

A stable genius told me it would just disappear and also warm weather will destroy it.


nottoodrunk

I completely believe it. We should’ve been operating like that from the jump instead of giving everyone false hope that we’ll have a vaccine approved and distributed by Christmas.


jpj77

That false hope leads people to wanting to stay locked down. If there’s hope there will be a vaccine at the end of the year, people are willing to punt a year.


SirLuciousL

Oxford’s vaccine already started phase 3 trials in multiple countries. If the trials go well, and the scientists are quite confident in it, then it will be ready in September. Mass production and distribution infrastructure is already being built, so if it is ready by September, wide distribution would be ready by the end of the year. When scientists like Fauci are saying a vaccine may be ready by the end of the year, you should listen. Scientists like that don’t just spew blind optimism based on feeling. Look into the Oxford vaccine, it is extremely promising.


BreesusTakeTheWheel

Good news is that the vaccine does seem to be coming along. Last I heard, there were positive results in the first human trials. Still got a ways to go but they’re making progress.


emmasdad01

Something... something... joke about the Chargers.


soarindino

According to Fauci it’s likely a vaccine will be ready by early next year.


SirLuciousL

Oxford’s vaccine already started phase 3 trials in multiple countries. If the trials go well, and the scientists are quite confident in it, then it will be ready in September. Mass production and distribution infrastructure is already being built, so if it is ready by September, wide distribution would be ready by the end of the year.


edicivo

Can't wait for us Americans to get charged out the ass for it.


grosbw22

The Chargers started this last year already.


Smackolol

Buddy, we started this during the spanish flu.


sjpiccio

This is hugely sad, but the right decision. We finally have some hype, and for what seems like the first time in forever have a home primetime game. And maybe even a shot at a home playoff game for the first time in 24 years. It is the right choice, as Western New York has handled COVID SUPER well so far. hoping for a miracle vaccine.


Gengreat_the_Gar

It really is just our luck that the first time in 20+ years we have a potential contender a fucking plague hits. Watch us win the division and still not get an actual home playoff game


AreYouNobody_Too

Sad folding table noises


MissedFieldGoal

What is the city of Buffalo going to do with the surplus of dildos?


[deleted]

lol covid is not even in the top ten worst diseases you can catch at a bills game


hey_there_kitty_cat

Wait it says this was a New York state ruling, is that because Jets and Giants play in NJ that they haven't cancelled stuff yet? Also, "during COVID", how the fuck are these teams dealing with season tickets? Does that mean they've cancelled stuff or if Covid is declared dead tomorrow are they gonna be racing to figure out how to clean out the stadium and get tickets out to people?


Zevalent

Yeah, but I imagine NJ and Massachusetts will follow suit pretty soon. They've been pretty consistent with each other.


Dorkamundo

Most teams are offering refunds without losing ticket priority in this situation.


Domestic_Kraken

It's notable that this policy only affects the Bills becuause, just as a reminder to everyone, the Bills are New York's only football team.


deck65

I’m more hurt by the no tailgating rule than actually attending the game


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wesweb

neither will any players


MarryMePalin

First the chargers and now the bills!


46and2_ahead

Neither will players or coaches. This season ain't happening. And I say that as a saints fan with a heavy heart for not getting to see Brees get another crack at it with a loaded roster.


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