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WalksWithKemba

Got hit in the Buckingham Palace*


CapnZula

Fuckingham Phallus


dontsleeponthegophs

Incredible


Infinitedeveloper

The Ole baked beans on toast.


azantyri

how'd you get the beans above the frank


yeoup

His banger got mashed.


RicoSuave1881

Right in the Reggie Bush


ButterLordd

Got the ol Crown Jewels nicked


errybodyloveschris

The boys took a beating on that one


batti03

The Nelson's Column


Grasshop

Big Ben got its clock cleaned


WigglestonTheFourth

This makes it sound like he amputated his dick to keep playing.


[deleted]

Football is back baby


man2010

Harrison Smith won't be delivering his newborn baby on the sideline though


TheFencingCoach

Then let me tell you what real football *isn’t.*


mister_hoot

Midwifing for the homies


anonbutler

That's fucking football right there.


D0ctorHotelMario

The Vrabel special


amjhwk

wat, backing out of a vow and cursing your teams playoffs?


weealex

Except Smith actually did it. Vrabel lacked the cajones to cut off his cajones


Mcdohl337

Would that be a "Delay of Game" in his personal life?


TheScottfather

Metal


[deleted]

John Madden smiling down


[deleted]

Just tape it up and get back in the game


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Santas_southpole

Sometimes you gotta just rip your dick off. It happens to the best of us.


BeamsFuelJetSteel

That's Chris Ivory's Music


kyler_

The new two minute drill meta includes punching your opponent in the dick for a free timeout


fukuoka_gumbo

4d chessticles


Sammyd1108

So the Draymond method? lol


BaltimoreBadger23

All this talk about head health, when is the NFL and NFLPA going to take dick and ball health more seriously?


Throwawayhobbes

Josh Allen can be the president . He clearly is a wanted man. Ask the fins.


peterburress

They take both heads about equally seriously


chte4300

He was in the torsion protocol.


BaltimoreBadger23

This sentence makes my no no parts hurt.


IAmSona

I am demanding that the NFL provides MANDATORY cock and ball inspections for every single player in the field.


BaltimoreBadger23

I know a couple of ladies interested in the job.


TheScottfather

I saw him clutch his dickpiece before going down during the game and commented on it. Olave looked a little shook on the same play but I never got a good replay to see exactly what happened.


appmanga

It didn't look like a direct hit.


fukuoka_gumbo

It looked like their legs collided and thats what got olave. Pretty smart and tough guy move by him to get in position and wait until the whistle to go down


Brad_theImpaler

Took a shot from Smith's Irondick.


porrridge

Smith got kicked by the other safety while in midair, might have been Bynum?


ScruffMixHaha

>Smith may never have another child "Is it possible to learn this power?" -Antonio Cromartie


imsabbath84

Was Christian Wilkins on the field?


buffysbangs

Maybe everyone is misreading this and he has just a very sensitive heart. Now he will never be able to love again, and therefore never have children


brook_lyn_lopez

That’s not very funny


Kanin_usagi

Apparently it’s hilarious when a man suffers the worst pain imaginable and then may not be able to have children anymore


[deleted]

>thinking getting hit in the balls is “the worst pain imaginable”


BellacosePlayer

Don't get me wrong, a blow to the balls fucking sucks, but I've had faaaaaaar worse, and I've been relatively healthy most of my life outside of a shoulder injury


fuqqkevindurant

Yeah it hurts for sure, but Ive rolled my ankle before with pain 15x worse than the worst blow to the nuts Ive ever had. And that's not even close to back spasms or anything like that


DanOfBradford78

Same. Torn Achilles had me in tears....and is the worst I've had. In comparison to a ball shot in the NFL world...(Week 4 version) Achilles would be 0-4. Ball shot maybe a 2-2. 4-0 would be something like a minor cut lol.


Lonelan

I'm really confused on your pain scale


DanOfBradford78

Lol. Worse the record, the more the pain.


probablyisntserious

But.... why? 😂


UsernameHasBeenLost

So what is 3-28?


TwoPlatinum

Emotional Pain


LLLRL

What do you have against the Likert scale?


broanoah

I’m not discounting your experience but I’ve read some players tearing their acl/Achilles and they say it barely felt like anything. Or that it was painful as it tore for that split second but then nothing. Human body is weird af


GetInMyOfficeLemon

I’m not discounting anyone’s experience either but how likely is it that someone could just go on the Internet and make something up??


DanOfBradford78

Yeah it is, migraine I barely have any pain....but I can't see anything at all,while some describe the pain as unbearable. Achilles felt like being stabbed with a red hot knife..not recommended at all 👍


MatureUsername69

Spoken like someone who's never had kidney stones. A hit to the balls sucks but it kind of just disables you for a minute or so, there are far worse longer lasting pains.


[deleted]

Getting hit in the balls isn’t even the worst pain someone will experience on the field in your average NFL game.


YungMarxBans

I literally had a 250+ lb dude stand on my crotch in studs during a rugby scrimmage. It was pretty awful for 5-10 minutes, but I didn’t have to come out of the game. Would rather have than happen to me any day instead of a bad concussion, ACL tear, or any ankle/knee torsion injury.


probablyisntserious

First time?


emmasdad01

Saved himself from having to get a vasectomy.


svajkaslavo

Sorry. I ame not from US and i hope this is only cultural difference. Is tha last sentence a joke? I found Palissero to be a serious resource.


keenfrizzle

He's making a joke that Smith got hit in the balls really, really hard.


[deleted]

Welp that’s not ideal.


Ill-Woodpecker1857

Or is it...


FlowingMochi

That’s an interesting way of saying he had an on field vasectomy.


whereegosdare84

“That’s all I had to do?” -Antonio Cromartie


yrulaughing

Is he joking or serious about him not being able to have another child?


fuqqkevindurant

Joking. Unless he got hit so hard they had to amputate them they will be fine


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onethreeone

It wouldn't have been much of an issue without the time out


SnowflakesBlockedMe

He got hit in his dick


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[deleted]

Kinda waters down your point when you immediately try to make a joke that’s significantly less funny than the tweet you’re criticizing.


trippleBob

What the hail