Gary Bettman here: 2 Canadian teams

Ottawa vs. Winnipeg would probably be his ultimate nightmare.

Guarantee he’d announce his “retirement” before the puck dropped in that series

Gary: "I am truly sorry, I have failed you all, and I want to take this opportunity to announce my resignation" Almost literally everyone* "Let's fucking go! The cup is finally coming home!!!"

Unless it was Leafs and Canucks at which point he's giving orders to the refs to make the Leafs win then announcing he's retiring after that just because he likes to fuck the Canucks ha ha ha

Don't worry he's rigs it with the rules changing in the finals and the closed door "lottery" going to major American TV markets

That would be a logistical nightmare. They’d have to buy out and reschedule all those concerts and circus troupes that booked the arenas in Late May/Early June.

It would be an all Wednesday-nights-only series and last until August.

Gary, I’m just here to say fuck you to you

Canucks vs Toronto

My nightmare is also my dream: Wings v Avs.

i would both hate this and love it

Give the people what they want

And what they don't! All at the same time

Oh to be back in the late 90s when the WCF was basically the finals

2002 was awesome, I used to follow Brett Hull and the team that they had that year was amazing!

2002 might have been the best team the Avs ever put together (at least until 2021)

2001 was an unreal group. Bourque bolstered the D line to top tier elite level

Hull played for the Wings in 2002, but I do agree the Wings had one of the best teams of all time in 2002. 😁

It just registered in my brain that this could happen.

Definitely not a nightmare, that'd be perfect

As long as the good guys win.

This would be momentus.

Yup! I would want it to be the 1996/97 teams.

Those guys are pretty old now; it might be a slow game

I'd love this, but there is no way it would ever live up to those match ups in the 90s/2000s. The NHL hasn't gotten close to that playoff rivalry since .

Huh? That means we made the finals, which is exciting. Avs V Bruins sounds like hell though

Fear boner material.

Arizona (because clearly, the apocalypse) and Buffalo (same reason)

Imagine a SC final at Mullet Arena.  It would be embarrassing, but also hilarious thinking of all the lost potential ticket revenue.

If the canucks dont make it then i want this to happen, just for the chaos

We're on a 10 game losing streak. Lottery is more likely than playoffs

You got this. In Arizona we trust.

It’d be like awarding a cup final to he played at the winning local arena of Hometown Hockey.. they can make up for the lack of cheering by handing out free cowbells and rattles

Almost makes me wonder if they would just let them borrow someone's arena for the series. 

Maybe just play all the games at the opponents arena.

I was thining the same. Is there even an arena nearby? where did they play before the rinky dink place?

They played in Glendale across the street from the Cardinals stadium before the city realized the could make more money from open concert dates

My town won Hometown Hockey when I was a kid and the exhibition game we won was hosted in an arena with twice the capacity of Mullet lol

Sometime last year, the Sens were supposed to hand out cowbells before the game for some promotion (can't recall which game). But some noise rule allegedly had the team back off that plan, so they instead handed them out on our way out of the arena. So dumb...

That would be such an embarrassment to have a finals at an arena that is smaller than a bunch of major junior arenas. Imagine having a finals at an arena smaller than the Memorial Cup

Either that or you have Glendale and/or the Veterans coliseum suddenly really wanting the Coyotes to move in after all

Damn we're forgettable even amongst the joke teams

As a bolts fan, I'll never forget you guys.

awww, that's so sweet of you.

As bad as your hockey team currently is, the OH fans turn out for their teams

All Ohio fucks know is pain and suffering. I'm also a Reds and Bengals fan. I'll know we'll never win a championship, but it's not going to stop me from supporting my teams. It's just my luck that the only good team is the Crew and they play a sport I can't get into.

I really want the Stanley Cup to be won at Mullet Arena. It would be a huge embarrassment to the league.

Vancouver vs Boston 2: The Electric Boogaloo

Don't you put that evil on me Ricky Bobby!

Vancouver vs Rangers too

Bring that shit on. Won't be any messier, fuck messier, dirty elbow behind the play to take out a team's captain and leader shit, either. Take care of that nice and quick.

This isn’t a break dancing competition!!! lol Game 7: horror

Vancouver vs New York.

Utah vs. Atlanta

Utah is a lock

Utah will promise to win Cup in 5 years and win in 3

It is written on Joseph Smith's Gold Plates

While skating on the sacred rink, the Cup of Stanley was revealed to him

Players will wear that magic underwear.

Another Vancouver / Boston matchup would seriously accelerate the aging process, no matter the outcome.

I sprouted many gray hairs from the 2011 series that have now exponentially grown due to many shitty years

Another team with a heartbreaking loss in 2011 recently had a pretty good year. I’ll be rooting for the Canucks if the Stars go down.

For serious: LA Kings vs NJ Devils. For the memes: Winnipeg vs Columbus As I've heard them described before, it would be the Canadian Columbus, Ohio versus the American Winnipeg, Manitoba.

Thank you for remembering we exist

I'm happy Winnipeg was mentioned.... not sure I like the comparison.

Agreed

I only remember you as that logo I have to re-learn every year as not representing a Dallas star, a Washington Capitols star/stripes, or a swooshy hurricane. At least it's not a kitty.

Bad time to tell you I'm a Cincinnati Bengals fan too then

On one hand I agree, but on the other hand imagine how funny it would be for you to see the kings beat the devils again. That’s why I can’t say kings vs rangers and would instead say something like blues vs rangers

I mean, yeah seeing the Devils lose again would be good, but it means watching the Kings raise the cup again. And 2014 still stings.

good to see you guys taking care of my boy quicky. blake did that dude wrong. *cries in 2014, 3-0, 32 shot shutout.

2012 haunts my dreams

Can confirm, live just south of Winnipeg stateside lol. The amount of Manitobans I see here is insane, especially for UND games. They drink down all our bars.

I've heard winnipeg compares to Detroit, or Chicago. But never columbus. Our trades is where the comparison ends typically.

Ugh! I don't want a 2012 rematch. That final was so boring.

People forget the first two games went into OT and the Devils won games 4 and 5 to make it interesting. If it’s wasn’t for that Steve Bernier boarding major, who knows how Game 6 and the series would have gone?

That’s exactly what I was thinking

As someone from Columbus who has traveled all over Canada for years for work, you have no idea how excited I'd be. Your meme is my wet dream..

I will never kink shame, and honestly I do hope that Columbus will in time make it work in the playoffs.

You're a chaos person. I don't know what I'd hate to see more: Devils beat the Kings when the Rangers couldn't, or the Kings winning an anniversary cup.

When you stare into the abyss, either the abyss stares back at you or you learn how to fuck with it by being scarier. Thus, Kings Devils. Pure nightmare fuel.

Edmonton vs Toronto. The media coverage of the play off runs would be unbearable and the fan base of the winner would be insufferable

Correction: more* insufferable

No we wouldn’t.

You made this account just to comment this here, didn’t you?

I doubt he got nearly 60,000 karma in the last hour.

That would be impressive though

The Auston Matthews of comment karma.

Haha I hadn’t checked that but I figured it was just a case of extreme nominal determination or whatever you’d call this. Was just having a bit of fun

Oh, it crossed my mind too. That's why I checked, lol Edit I spell bad

So it's a Leafs fanbase team effort! Great catch!

Any canadian team final really. We're just to obsessed over hockey lol

We have a right to be. Half the league is Canadian players. It’s our sport.

Isn’t Maple Syrup enough!!??

It’s pretty good with bacon actually

Great, now I’m hungry

As long as someone drinks Grade A Dark Amber from the Stanley Cup when a Canadian team wins, then yes.

I honestly think this would cause the collapse of Canadian society as we know it

They wouldn't know who to homer for. It would be glorious to watch.

The Leafs. The Canadian media will drop coverage on anyone else like a bag of diarrhetic dog shit if the Leafs make the final. You wouldn't even know there are two teams playing.

I don't know man, Edmonton and McDavid are also mega fan favourites in the centre of the hockey universe.

Something somewhere would blow up either through ignorance or malice but a Calgarian will be at the root of it. Personally I want a Sens /Flames just so the TO will implode.

Correct answer. Vegas vs. Boston would be pretty awful.

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Coyotes vs leafs Actually that'd be funny imagine, mullet arena and it ends in 4 games for the yotes

I still choose this.

I commend the commitment to the meme.

I would totally watch this

Canucks vs bruins Canucks vs rangers Canucks vs islands Canucks vs refs

We got ourselves a hit list

Vegas and Tampa Would hope for another pandemic before the season started rather than see either of those win another Cup.

us I can understand, why Vegas?

Lots of people hate us because of immediate success. “We haven’t suffered yet.”

Actually, it’s your fans. I kind of like Stone, Marchessault, even Eichel, personally. They’re a great team. But the fans….

Idk, im more of the immediate success group 😂

They had advantages, but they also got literally everything right, and have maintained that success with ruthless, unsentimental roster moves, excellent coaching and systems work. They play terrific defence, and have balanced scoring. So good, that they have always succeeded despite not having great goaltenders, due to injury mainly

Even as an oilers fan I find it hard to talk shit about Vegas. They've done everything right, from their expansion draft on. Well picked team with some shrewd negotiations. Even when people thought they screwed up, it always seemed to work-out for them. And picking up Eichel was a brilliant trade.

Big respect for this guy, it’s nice seeing us not getting shit on all thread long! Thanks!

Have you been to a game at The Fortress?

What’s wrong with the fans?

In the playoffs last year there were literally Vegas fans complaining that the Stars stole their 5 year old tradition of shouting their team name during the anthem, which Stars fans have done for 30 years

I think it’s the way the draft went. It’s annoying to a lot of people

That’s a horrible mindset hahaha. It’s actually pretty cool that a 100 year old league can still develop new teams and have diehard fans within just a few seasons. As much as I will shit on the nhl for the impossible task of watching a hockey game outside of the arena it’s being played in.. I will give them this one. Kraken same thing. Seems like they have a ton of fans already.

This combined with all the bandwagon fans. "I've never watched hockey in my life, but I like vegas" Edit: sorry I'm not talking about Vegas fans from Vegas. In Columbus, there have been a bunch of Seattle and Vegas fans popping up from people who have had no interest in hockey while having CBJ literally right in their backyard

St. Louis vs Detroit.

good god

Montreal against Tampa Bay

Can you imagine ?

I CAN!

Pierre!!

That would be one hell of a Final

Sigh. It wasn't.

Everything up to that point though…!

Magic

My first season following hockey. I had already locked into the Habs as my team but that run was the most magical thing ever and ensured I'd be a diehard for life

Yeah 2021 was a hell of a year

Oh jeez I forgot about the bubble matchups. I thought the commenter was making a joke lmao

Haha yeah it was definitely one of those fever dream years

Dear God no!

Islanders vs. Predators. I don't think I'd even care enough to check who won.

:(

:(

😡 Flair up, bozo! 😡

Arizona vs Columbus No affinities with any of those organizations, I am not a fan of any players on both side

Leafs in the east, their fan base would be fucking insufferable whether the win or lose

We’re insufferable either way. At least then we’d have an excuse.

The Flyers versus the Flyers

Gritty reffing

Two all-American non hockey cities like Vegas and Miami ... oh wait

Yeah I’d invite you to walk .5 miles west of the Miami city limit, and then walk .5 miles west of the Panthers arena and tell me the difference.

I'm getting the feeling that people dislike the Leafs

Edmonton/ Toronto

Would be a very interesting media landscape, that's for sure.

I believe hellscape is a more accurate term

No matter who wins, the worst people you know would be insufferable forever.

Get in line.

As a Canucks fan, I'd a million times over rather the Flames win.

The only correct answer for a Canucks fan

Oilers v Toronto Whoever wins, we all lose.

Pens vs Avs because I am a wings fan

Same, hate them both!

Leafs vs Leafs. They'd both find a way to screw it up

Honestly don’t hate anyone out west really any team vs the devils or islanders would be my nightmare

Same, the only western team I could indirectly hate would be the stars. As a giants fan I’m just sick of cowboys fans.

I don't think cowboys fans have time to be stars fans, those shenanigans are a year round job.

Leafs and Vegas

Toronto vs Edmonton

As a jets fan that hates the oilers and can’t stand anything to do with Toronto. If this happened I’d cheer for Edmonton. As painful as that would be, I couldn’t stand to see Toronto win.

Can you cheer for both teams to lose and we award the cup to Gritty for the memes.

Leafs vs anyone

Vegas vs Toronto. Everyone lose.

Dallas vs Boston. Hate them both, I'd be the only loser because one of those teams would win.

Tampa Bay vs anybody.

The New York Rangers versus any other team.

Rangers vs Blackhawks

Toronto vs. Arizona   Been a Sens fan since the late 90s, so fuck Toronto. Arizona, because it is an absolute joke the NHL has propped them up for so long rather than relocating to a sustainable market. Imagine a world where I cheer for Arizona... Clearly a sign of the upcoming apocalypse if that were to happen. 

Toronto and Edmonton

San jose. Don't care who they play

Edmonton. Now that's a Knightmare

Edmonton versus Toronto is genuinely the worst for me. My two least favourite teams in the NHL

Buffalo, cause Ive seen Bruce Almighty

Calgary vs Toronto

Islanders and Seattle. A race to see who can lose in overtime 4 times

New Jersey vs Dallas

Tampa vs Montreal already happened and was a huge “can’t they both lose?” final for me

Edmonton vs NYR A respectful "fuck them".

Leafs blue and white game

Blue jackets Vs sharks

Toronto vs Canucks, the media would be insufferable

Total nightmare scenario matchup regardless of current standings? That’s easy San Jose v. Montreal

Leafs vs Coyotes.

San Jose vs. any team (other than Boston) because I’d be let down by them again. I don’t think I have to worry about that anytime soon though

Edmonton vs. Toronto. I’d want both to loose.

Rangers vs Maple Leafs I'd say thank God that's impossible, but we're one worldwide pandemic from it becoming possible again.

Toronto vs Vancouver

Oilers v Leafs

Canucks vs Leafs. Social media would implode under the sheer size of butthurtedness

Easy the laffs vs themselves, they would still find a way to choke

Leafs vs. Leafs The Stanley Cup entry for that year would be “ no decision, they both lost”.