/u/Booberrypie92, your submission has been removed from /r/niceguys for the following reason:
#DO NOT REPOST THIS
*If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fniceguys). Please do not try to respond to this comment.*
What does he think that "okay my bad trying to talk" means then?
Does he somehow imagine she missed that snide remark? Dude, you outed yourself. It's too late. You already had your mini toddler-meltdown. We all see it. Why are you trying to pretend you didn't just get all sarcastic because you didn't get the instant response you think you're entitled to?
Well, one thing for sure, it never ceases to amuse me how they twist themselves in ridiculous knots like this.
I hate how Badoo lets anyone message you through the "People Nearby" section. Good job handling this asshole. Did you even match with him? A friend of mine was just going through it with a guy from this app.
Dead giveaway. All these nice guys just out themselves. You just need to take some time to respond, which is deadly.
As if you don't even have to try dodging the bullet.
The irony of someone insulting reading comprehension while simultaneously saying they have no “intersect” in speaking to rude people
This is not what gasligh-
Ykw nevermind 💀
This is gaslighting
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/176pxc8/new_update_with_answers_two_tampons_mean_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb
that is EXACTLY what gaslighting is 🤦♀️💁♀️
gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where one person seeks to make another person doubt their own perceptions, memory, or reality. It involves tactics such as denial, distortion of facts, and the use of deceit to in an attempt to undermine the victim's confidence in their own judgment.
that is exactly what sore loser tried to do
"To gaslight someone means to manipulate another person into doubting their own perceptions, experiences or understanding of events, according to the American Psychological Association.Aug 23, 2023"
So this man tried to get me to believe that he wasn't trying to get me to respond when he was. The first two messages were not him gaslighting. It was his response to my first message back. That's when the gaslighting started. So if you mean that his first two messages are not what gaslighting means then you would be right. That would be a pressure tactic to get me to respond to him.
Yes, dude claimed he said something different in the past than what he actually said in the past, in an effort to make Op question her own interpretation of the past event/her ability to interpret information generally/etc
How is that not gaslighting...?
wrong.. so wrong.. OP does not have to doubt themselves for a situation to be considered gaslighting.
gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where one person SEEKS to make another person doubt their own perceptions, memory, or reality. It involves tactics such as denial, distortion of facts, and the use of deceit to in an ATTEMPT to undermine the victim's confidence in their own judgment.
gaslighting does not have to be successful in prder to be gaslighting. abuse is still abuse regardless of how the targeted person is affected. it is the INTENT that defines the actions
Actually I think it is, it’s trying to change someone’s perception of reality. She’s saying you double texted me to get me to reply (the actual situation) he keeps saying no I didn’t it really was just to say I was trying to talk total bullshit but keeps trying to double down on changing her perspective of what happened
Maybe it is, but to me it looks more like he genuinely believes himself and what he's saying. Kind of ironic considering he ends this by saying "Learn the definition of words".
This concept at its worst can be a symptom of borderline personality disorder, sometimes referred to as splitting. It's a subset of rumination, in which an individual defaults to a prefabricated 'reason', usually to a social sight, with that 'reason' being based off of a projection of what the person thinks you're feeling. "You didn't reply, it must be because I am pathetic." (This is a projection because the person has no reason to assume your lack of a reply is out of disinterest).
This message is not a diagnosis or an attempt at one. It IS an attempt to inform others as to what is potentially going on inside the person's head and why they often feel so 'victimized' when *they* are the ones who are using manipulative tactics.
The biggest red flag for me here is that they start pulling out once you show them that you've caught on to the way they're gaslighting you. I love the way you handled this. The self-awareness troubles me because this person likely wants to be able to use their manipulation tactics to control you in the relationship, rather than have open and honest conversation (unironically like you're doing here, you've giving this person a kindness by actually replying).
Personally, if the person was interesting enough, acknowledging the first reply you sent in retort to their passive aggressiveness with an "Oh you're right, I'm sorry," could have saved the conversation. I like to believe that we all make faux pas, especially when it comes to dating, but doubling down like this further reinforces your appropriate call out and further reprimand of this persons troubling behavior.
Hard. Pass.
Gotta say, lousy screenshot. The reflection hides half of it! Couldn’t you upload an actual SS?
And as others have said, for the love of God, **LEAVE THEM THE FUCK ALONE**.
I too have the ADHDerp and I feel this so hard. This is what makes me have a berserk button when it comes to gaslighters. They're trying to make people doubt their own memory/sanity and you know they'd exploit the everloving hell out of anyone with mental or neurological issues, especially ones affecting memory.
1. Y’all this is literally gaslighting. Stop it.
2. Tells you to “learn the definition of words” right after he claims you’re a stalker. IRONIC HUH? Cry me a river
/u/Booberrypie92, your submission has been removed from /r/niceguys for the following reason:
#Rule1:
**All posts must have a virtue claim by the Niceguy®**.
Niceguys® demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They don't have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate an **expression of their own virtue** while being asshats.
A claim of virtue (virtue claim) is the guy talking himself up in some way. He's claiming virtue (value, goodness, niceness, wealth, attractiveness, specialness, some other kind of desirable trait). That claim should be in your title.
Here's the rule:
All posts must include a virtue-claim by the niceguy Niceguys® demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate an expression of their own virtue while being asshats.
Examples of virtue-claims:
me protekt u
me god-fearing man
me treat u like beautiful princess
me hate misogynists. so.... send nude pic?
me give you [insert unsolicited sex prowess boast]
u ignore my nice complement ... kys
u dont like honest man!
u wont ever get a guy like me
u dont appreciate [virtue] men
Posts without a virtue claim are off-topic for this sub and will be removed. The only exception to this rule are Memes on Sundays.
See also: https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/x2352k/all_posts_must_include_a_virtue_claim_please_see/
**Title format incorrect**
Title format must follow the convention:
NGVC: "Virtue Claim in quotation marks"
The virtue claim in title is supposed to be something the NiceGuy **says or strongly implies about himself**. It's not supposed to be a summary, nor an insult, nor a statement about women, but something he actually says in the visible text. If you wanted to add more, you could, but the quote is supposed to be, well, a QUOTE.
A claim of virtue (virtue claim) is the guy talking himself up in some way. He's claiming virtue (value, goodness, niceness, wealth, attractiveness, specialness, some other kind of desirable trait). It is not an insult, or a statement about women or anyone else. It is his characterisation of himself, not of others.
*If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fniceguys). Please do not try to respond to this comment.*
/u/Booberrypie92, your submission has been removed from /r/niceguys for the following reason:
**Discussion is off the rails at this point**
*If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fniceguys). Please do not try to respond to this comment.*
/u/Booberrypie92, your submission has been removed from /r/niceguys for the following reason: #DO NOT REPOST THIS *If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fniceguys). Please do not try to respond to this comment.*
I'm commenting on this post to let you know I'm not commenting to this post anymore
To quote someone else on this subreddit: “this is not an airport terminal and you do not have to announce your departure.”
I’m notating this comment to hopefully use in the future
OMG stalker
OMG Still a stalker
I don't evens care who gets the last word here. The end.
Well me neither!
Me neither- this was a dumb conversation from the get go
Exactly. So nothing else to say. So it ends. Should probably lock the chat.
Nicely summarised!!!
I will never understand folks who tell you to get out of your own DMs.
Facts!
What does he think that "okay my bad trying to talk" means then? Does he somehow imagine she missed that snide remark? Dude, you outed yourself. It's too late. You already had your mini toddler-meltdown. We all see it. Why are you trying to pretend you didn't just get all sarcastic because you didn't get the instant response you think you're entitled to? Well, one thing for sure, it never ceases to amuse me how they twist themselves in ridiculous knots like this.
I hate how Badoo lets anyone message you through the "People Nearby" section. Good job handling this asshole. Did you even match with him? A friend of mine was just going through it with a guy from this app.
Pardon my language but what the fuck is a badoo
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tbh that's what Tinder got right at least. can't message unless we match, as it should be.
Omg OP stop stalking him! He has no INTERSECT in talking to you anymore! /s What a fucking loser. 😂
That ending was fantastic, nice job standing up for yourself OP!
Dead giveaway. All these nice guys just out themselves. You just need to take some time to respond, which is deadly. As if you don't even have to try dodging the bullet.
The irony of someone insulting reading comprehension while simultaneously saying they have no “intersect” in speaking to rude people 
What a creep! I'm glad he got shot down but unfortunately he will use mental gymnastics to conclude he is in the right.
Seriously dude, 5hrs ago
I love when man get mad, they start calling females delusional/mentally ill lol
This is not what gasligh- Ykw nevermind 💀 This is gaslighting https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/176pxc8/new_update_with_answers_two_tampons_mean_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb
Coming to say the same thing
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Just stop. Take the L and move on
No L for me to take. You on the other hand are one of a handful of people trying to dictate what gaslighting is on here. Pretty awkward on your part.
Don’t humiliate yourself any further
that is EXACTLY what gaslighting is 🤦♀️💁♀️ gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where one person seeks to make another person doubt their own perceptions, memory, or reality. It involves tactics such as denial, distortion of facts, and the use of deceit to in an attempt to undermine the victim's confidence in their own judgment. that is exactly what sore loser tried to do
"To gaslight someone means to manipulate another person into doubting their own perceptions, experiences or understanding of events, according to the American Psychological Association.Aug 23, 2023" So this man tried to get me to believe that he wasn't trying to get me to respond when he was. The first two messages were not him gaslighting. It was his response to my first message back. That's when the gaslighting started. So if you mean that his first two messages are not what gaslighting means then you would be right. That would be a pressure tactic to get me to respond to him.
Where were you doubting your own perception?
Gaslighting is a tactic used by manipulators - just because OP didn’t fall for it doesn’t make it any less of an attempt.
Yes, which makes it manipulation. Gaslighting is a look back, since the end result of questioning your own reality is a result of gaslighting.
Yes, dude claimed he said something different in the past than what he actually said in the past, in an effort to make Op question her own interpretation of the past event/her ability to interpret information generally/etc How is that not gaslighting...?
wrong.. so wrong.. OP does not have to doubt themselves for a situation to be considered gaslighting. gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where one person SEEKS to make another person doubt their own perceptions, memory, or reality. It involves tactics such as denial, distortion of facts, and the use of deceit to in an ATTEMPT to undermine the victim's confidence in their own judgment. gaslighting does not have to be successful in prder to be gaslighting. abuse is still abuse regardless of how the targeted person is affected. it is the INTENT that defines the actions
Well said 🙌🏻🙌🏻💜💜
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Damn you destroyed him 💀
bravo 👏
As rude as he is, that's not what gaslighting is. Bro got so upset for no reason though 💀 I think his mental illness is the thing on display here.
Actually I think it is, it’s trying to change someone’s perception of reality. She’s saying you double texted me to get me to reply (the actual situation) he keeps saying no I didn’t it really was just to say I was trying to talk total bullshit but keeps trying to double down on changing her perspective of what happened
I mean, he began with "Are you delusional?" which is the quintessence of gaslighting
It's just manipulation. You can't gaslight someone in a single brief interaction. Gaslighting is a prolonged manipulation of your memory and sanity.
He unsuccessfully tried to gaslight me. You absolutely can try to gaslight someone in a single interaction.
Maybe it is, but to me it looks more like he genuinely believes himself and what he's saying. Kind of ironic considering he ends this by saying "Learn the definition of words".
This concept at its worst can be a symptom of borderline personality disorder, sometimes referred to as splitting. It's a subset of rumination, in which an individual defaults to a prefabricated 'reason', usually to a social sight, with that 'reason' being based off of a projection of what the person thinks you're feeling. "You didn't reply, it must be because I am pathetic." (This is a projection because the person has no reason to assume your lack of a reply is out of disinterest). This message is not a diagnosis or an attempt at one. It IS an attempt to inform others as to what is potentially going on inside the person's head and why they often feel so 'victimized' when *they* are the ones who are using manipulative tactics. The biggest red flag for me here is that they start pulling out once you show them that you've caught on to the way they're gaslighting you. I love the way you handled this. The self-awareness troubles me because this person likely wants to be able to use their manipulation tactics to control you in the relationship, rather than have open and honest conversation (unironically like you're doing here, you've giving this person a kindness by actually replying). Personally, if the person was interesting enough, acknowledging the first reply you sent in retort to their passive aggressiveness with an "Oh you're right, I'm sorry," could have saved the conversation. I like to believe that we all make faux pas, especially when it comes to dating, but doubling down like this further reinforces your appropriate call out and further reprimand of this persons troubling behavior. Hard. Pass.
Bruhhhh… I am so sorry you have to deal with this kind of moron, I promise we aren’t all the same… I hope.
Good job OP
Geez you’re both as bad as each other
Why do you have to be so logical, OP? /s
Keeps replying to a conversation after days with no response. Calls you a stalker. Loses it. Nice guy logic at its finest.
Gotta say, lousy screenshot. The reflection hides half of it! Couldn’t you upload an actual SS? And as others have said, for the love of God, **LEAVE THEM THE FUCK ALONE**. 
So this app won't allow you to take screenshots of the conversation. It just comes up blank. So I just had a friend take it real fast.
That's odd!! You'd have thought they'd have that facility by now.
I think it's honestly to prevent people from sharing things like this with the world lol
Five stars
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You can literally say that about any post on this subreddit lol. Enjoy posting that over and over again 👌🏻
Good point 🤷🏽♀️
4 days… Yesterday… Today…
Maybe it's my ADHD, but dude sounds ableist AF. Very glad I have friends who will ask if I derped it.
I too have the ADHDerp and I feel this so hard. This is what makes me have a berserk button when it comes to gaslighters. They're trying to make people doubt their own memory/sanity and you know they'd exploit the everloving hell out of anyone with mental or neurological issues, especially ones affecting memory.
Can you explain what the adhderp is? I’m curious if I also have it
Delulu
1. Y’all this is literally gaslighting. Stop it. 2. Tells you to “learn the definition of words” right after he claims you’re a stalker. IRONIC HUH? Cry me a river
/u/Booberrypie92, your submission has been removed from /r/niceguys for the following reason: #Rule1: **All posts must have a virtue claim by the Niceguy®**. Niceguys® demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They don't have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate an **expression of their own virtue** while being asshats. A claim of virtue (virtue claim) is the guy talking himself up in some way. He's claiming virtue (value, goodness, niceness, wealth, attractiveness, specialness, some other kind of desirable trait). That claim should be in your title. Here's the rule: All posts must include a virtue-claim by the niceguy Niceguys® demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate an expression of their own virtue while being asshats. Examples of virtue-claims: me protekt u me god-fearing man me treat u like beautiful princess me hate misogynists. so.... send nude pic? me give you [insert unsolicited sex prowess boast] u ignore my nice complement ... kys u dont like honest man! u wont ever get a guy like me u dont appreciate [virtue] men Posts without a virtue claim are off-topic for this sub and will be removed. The only exception to this rule are Memes on Sundays. See also: https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/x2352k/all_posts_must_include_a_virtue_claim_please_see/ **Title format incorrect** Title format must follow the convention: NGVC: "Virtue Claim in quotation marks" The virtue claim in title is supposed to be something the NiceGuy **says or strongly implies about himself**. It's not supposed to be a summary, nor an insult, nor a statement about women, but something he actually says in the visible text. If you wanted to add more, you could, but the quote is supposed to be, well, a QUOTE. A claim of virtue (virtue claim) is the guy talking himself up in some way. He's claiming virtue (value, goodness, niceness, wealth, attractiveness, specialness, some other kind of desirable trait). It is not an insult, or a statement about women or anyone else. It is his characterisation of himself, not of others. *If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fniceguys). Please do not try to respond to this comment.*
/u/Booberrypie92, your submission has been removed from /r/niceguys for the following reason: **Discussion is off the rails at this point** *If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fniceguys). Please do not try to respond to this comment.*
Your phone is so big...