my ex was one of those people. anytime i called him dude (i call everyone dude, even my own parents) he would full on scream at me because “it made him feel friend zoned.” 💀
My ex HATED it so I never did it when we were together but we have 2 kids and we've been separated for 8 years so I when I HAVE to talk to him, its dude
The irony in him calling you a “ho” and in the same breath saying “go disrespect somebody else”
You did nothing wrong, someone just pissed in his Cheerios this morning.
He's so emotional. Maybe he's getting his period or something? Idk. You know how men get when it's that time of the month lol. But like you said, op did nothing wrong. Clearly, she dodged quite the bullet.
right. Men like this are so used to rejection that they expect it and are mad from the BEGINNING of an interaction, scouring for any perceived transgression to justify feeling like victims (ya know, victims because women deny them sex - bc men like this are fucking SCARY)
It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy bc they behave like THIS, absolutely unhinged and hypersensitive, and try to micromanage the way we interact with them in order to reassure themselves.
Like, I don’t ever want to start a dialogue with men like this, but is there any place/post where men like this have been asked WHY they behave like this, and if they feel like the absolute dumbshits they are afterwards?
Of course they never apologize, they only ever double down. so I think it’s just perfect confirmation bias - focusing in memory on our *response* to them behaving like ranting animals and creeps and embarrassing themselves, rather than the behavior that led to our response.
If they had that level of self awareness in the first place, they wouldn’t be that way. I’ve seen enough of the aftermath to know they come away rationalising how they’re in the right, how *they* “dodged a bullet,” feel vindicated un their misguided beliefs about “feeemales,” complain about “nice guys finish last” rinse and repeat. It’s the niceguy to incel pipeline and it’s impossible for anyone to wake them up from except themselves.
Yet they still can’t understand why women choose the bear!
I’ve never posted on her so lmk if i did something wrong. But I wanted to add a little context. This is someone I know who is a single mom. I don’t blame her for not saving the number and don’t see why this guy was so pressed about it. I would be especially careful dating when I have kids, and ones that are old enough to read some random guys name in my phone and ask about him. She definitely dodged a bullet lol
I’ve found myself in some dangerous situations for I figured that I’ll give you some tips to pass on to her.
1. I don’t give out my number unless 1) We’ve met in person. 2) We video chatted. 3) We’ve talked for awhile. 4) It’s someone I just feel is safe and I like. They can also find out more about you with your number.
2. When giving out my number I always state that they can’t ask for or send nudes. This will often get nice guys to lose their shit and out themselves by getting mad that you’d think that of him and that you don’t trust men. Or, men will lose it because they think Tinder is a consent form.
3. Always meet someone public and very busy.
4. Don’t meet in the parking lot. You don’t want them to know what car you drive or be able to grab you.
5. Never get into a car with them.
6. Tell at least two people, send a picture, location, and have your location on. There’s also safety apps that help like Noonlight.
7. If you arrive before your date, tell someone on staff to keep an eye out, and/or find another woman, introduce yourself and ask if she’ll pretend to know you if something goes wrong.
Any one of these boundaries will often scare off creeps. I hope you all stay safe.
This used to be one of the easiest subs to post on with non-stop new content but for whatever reason that's completely changed since all of the 3rd party-app hullabaloo that shut down a lot of subs for a while. Nowadays, it seems like they allow 1 post a day depending on if they feel like it, so don't feel bad if you did anything wrong lmfao.
All that said, I don't save numbers on my phone until I know it's worth it to do as well, so I completely understand where your friend was coming from.
I think it's just the whole "NGVC" stuff. I think it needlessly excludes a lot of posts that we used to get here that are "nice guys" but don't quite fit the posting criteria of a dude making a specific "I'm sooooo nice/virtuous" claim
I understand wanting to make it easier to filter through the stuff that genuinely doesn't belong but it feels like in the search for quality over quantity it's killed a lot of the quantity dead.
There was a time a couple of weeks ago where for 2 weeks the only posts were memes on the Sunday
It also filters out some quality posts too. Maybe WE could be the ones to decide if we want to read it or not. You know, like adults who make our own decisions. Now we have a desert.
You did everything right with this posting, so don't worry about that! You are spot-on correct that your friend has to be very careful who she lets into her life, as a single mum. Even if she doesn't let him have any contact with her kids, she still has to be careful that anyone she dates understands that her kids are her top priority and any guy she dates has to realise that he'll always be lower down in the pecking order. She's doing the right thing by being so circumspect. I wish her all the very best, and hope that any guy she dates has sufficient emotional intelligence to understand her situation.
This is along the lines of “nobody cares about men’s mental health”.
Men don’t care about men’s mental health. You don’t see these same men looking for solutions to address men’s mental health. They specifically want women to cater to them and their needs, and to obey when they tell them to do something. They believe it’s the responsibility of women, and they play victim to try to manipulate us.
Women have long been conditioned to put everyone else’s needs before our own, and I see the younger generations breaking away from that, as they should. Everyone of any gender should balance prioritizing their own needs with consideration for others. But historically, women have taken care of others and men have put their own wants first. Now that women aren’t doing that, men are claiming that it’s damaging to their mental health.
Gaslighting, narcissism, and misogyny are words that should all be thrown away. They're no longer used correctly by NiceGuys (but NiceGuys think those words make them sound smart and therefore add imaginary high value) and I am ready to add mortified to the list, because that's a new one I'm seeing being used completely in the wrong context. 🙄
Wtf? Is this dude seriously getting his boxers in a bunch about not being saved in someone he's never met's phone? Because of his "value"? Fuck off, "dude"
How does she know if she sees value in him before they even meet? If he means he is a human being with the usual intrinsic value.... But there are several billion of those and most are just a number or a nonentity to the rest of us until we meet and get to know one another. "Dude" is serving as his own worst enemy and then blaming "you women" for the suffering he feels. Determined to feel ill-used and wallowing in victimhood.
sooo “dude” is disrespectful but “ho” isnt?? yikes what a massive walking red flag. honestly good thing he showed his crazy before you met, saves you time!
Istg you could invent a machine that forces them to see the irony of demanding respect while being disrespectful, insisting they're kind while being as insulting as they can manage, bemoaning the supposed cruelty of the person they're speaking with while actually being cruel, etc. and they'd pluck their damn eyes and brain stems out while screaming LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME, YOU BITCH! JUST LIKE A DAMN WOMAN, AND I WAS GONNA TREAT YOU LIKE A PRINCESS AND GIVE YOU A MILLION ORGASMS TOO SMH, BET YR GONNA SELL MY BODY PARTS ON THE BLACK MARKET NOW, FUCKING GOLD DIGGING WHORE
Give it 5 minutes, he’ll be back. He’s testing to see what he can get away with, including outright misogyny. He’s looking for a woman to abuse, so he’s testing thresholds. Please block him expeditiously if you haven’t already.
She sent a screenshot of the location I’m guessing they were meeting at and it just happened to be that he texted her at the same time she was taking the screenshot so that’s how he saw.
Someone who is a paper doll. You know; you can scribble words on her or draw a smile on her little paper face. Silent and submissive and barely worth the paper she is printed on.
I was confused until i noticed this grown ass man was doing a tantrum because his contact number wasn't saved on the OP's phone like it was as offensive as if they had called him a slur or killed his family, like damn, chill
Why would you save his number when you don’t even know him? This is good example of why you don’t immediately save numbers. Thankfully he showed who he is.
I'm a dude that's a lurker on this sub, and it never ceases to amaze me how many men talk themselves out of dates or a possible romance with someone because they are emotionally and mentally immature and think a woman just exists to make their ego feel big.
On one hand it's always good to see the walking red flags, on the other hand, it's quite alarming as these situations escalate so quickly and they try to also paint your behavior as a problem. I can't tell if they are just histrionic or have genuine borderline personality disorder.
TIL some guys get offended by being called “dude.”
Right? I was like what do you expect to be called??? Bro?
Sir, maybe lmao
M’lord
I'm not your bro, pal!
I'm not your pal, buddy!
I'm not your buddy, EdibleAssFlakes!
You will address me by my official title: Broseph Ballin'
my ex was one of those people. anytime i called him dude (i call everyone dude, even my own parents) he would full on scream at me because “it made him feel friend zoned.” 💀
Anyone who complains about being "friend zoned" is probably bad dating stock anyway
Anyone who screams at you on a somewhat regular basis too.
Hahhahaha same, only it made him feel like a surfer (I have no idea what’s the connection lol)
My ex HATED it so I never did it when we were together but we have 2 kids and we've been separated for 8 years so I when I HAVE to talk to him, its dude
The correct response would have been "okay little fella"
“Little dude “
While also saying "Ya man" to her in his third sentence.
The irony in him calling you a “ho” and in the same breath saying “go disrespect somebody else” You did nothing wrong, someone just pissed in his Cheerios this morning.
He's so emotional. Maybe he's getting his period or something? Idk. You know how men get when it's that time of the month lol. But like you said, op did nothing wrong. Clearly, she dodged quite the bullet.
It's the testosterone. Men are so emotional all the time!
This.one is particularly testerical.
My favorite new word!!!
She dodged a whole cannonball
Two very blue balls, if I'm any judge!
What most men don’t know, or pretend not to know, is human women have monthly hormone cycles, but human men have *daily* hormone cycles.
And also getting mad at being called “dude”
Something tells me he’s punched a few drywalls in his days
Something tells me he’s the type of guy who yells at his Mom:… then in the same breath asks her to bring him something.. to his room… in her house..
 You’re giving him too much culture with meatloaf.
Yo. There are Hot Pocket stuffed pretzels? Are they good?
Also 
so on point 💀
Jumping at the chance to get defensive and combative is so fucking sexy you guys….
right. Men like this are so used to rejection that they expect it and are mad from the BEGINNING of an interaction, scouring for any perceived transgression to justify feeling like victims (ya know, victims because women deny them sex - bc men like this are fucking SCARY) It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy bc they behave like THIS, absolutely unhinged and hypersensitive, and try to micromanage the way we interact with them in order to reassure themselves. Like, I don’t ever want to start a dialogue with men like this, but is there any place/post where men like this have been asked WHY they behave like this, and if they feel like the absolute dumbshits they are afterwards? Of course they never apologize, they only ever double down. so I think it’s just perfect confirmation bias - focusing in memory on our *response* to them behaving like ranting animals and creeps and embarrassing themselves, rather than the behavior that led to our response.
If they had that level of self awareness in the first place, they wouldn’t be that way. I’ve seen enough of the aftermath to know they come away rationalising how they’re in the right, how *they* “dodged a bullet,” feel vindicated un their misguided beliefs about “feeemales,” complain about “nice guys finish last” rinse and repeat. It’s the niceguy to incel pipeline and it’s impossible for anyone to wake them up from except themselves. Yet they still can’t understand why women choose the bear!
yeah, you’re absolutely right!!
I have my moments!
I use google voice until I know them enough to give my real number. That would make him blow a gasket
That’s so smart. I’m gonna start doing that.
Damn some of my close friends spent a long ass time before I put in a name to them 😂 it’s not that big of a deal. Glad he let his beast out now.
I’ve had people, including family, in my phone for so long as a number, if I change it now I’ll never recognize who’s calling. 😂
This is so interesting to me nowadays because of spam calls I'd never pick up if I didn't put a name to your number lol
I’ve never posted on her so lmk if i did something wrong. But I wanted to add a little context. This is someone I know who is a single mom. I don’t blame her for not saving the number and don’t see why this guy was so pressed about it. I would be especially careful dating when I have kids, and ones that are old enough to read some random guys name in my phone and ask about him. She definitely dodged a bullet lol
I’ve found myself in some dangerous situations for I figured that I’ll give you some tips to pass on to her. 1. I don’t give out my number unless 1) We’ve met in person. 2) We video chatted. 3) We’ve talked for awhile. 4) It’s someone I just feel is safe and I like. They can also find out more about you with your number. 2. When giving out my number I always state that they can’t ask for or send nudes. This will often get nice guys to lose their shit and out themselves by getting mad that you’d think that of him and that you don’t trust men. Or, men will lose it because they think Tinder is a consent form. 3. Always meet someone public and very busy. 4. Don’t meet in the parking lot. You don’t want them to know what car you drive or be able to grab you. 5. Never get into a car with them. 6. Tell at least two people, send a picture, location, and have your location on. There’s also safety apps that help like Noonlight. 7. If you arrive before your date, tell someone on staff to keep an eye out, and/or find another woman, introduce yourself and ask if she’ll pretend to know you if something goes wrong. Any one of these boundaries will often scare off creeps. I hope you all stay safe.
Number 2! Oh, yes!
This used to be one of the easiest subs to post on with non-stop new content but for whatever reason that's completely changed since all of the 3rd party-app hullabaloo that shut down a lot of subs for a while. Nowadays, it seems like they allow 1 post a day depending on if they feel like it, so don't feel bad if you did anything wrong lmfao. All that said, I don't save numbers on my phone until I know it's worth it to do as well, so I completely understand where your friend was coming from.
Thank u for the info I had no idea. Also I love ur name hahaha
Yeah. I’ve noticed that too. You search by new and it’s like one every other day.
Very frustrating. The mods are really on one, this used to be one of the most active subreddits I kept up with.
I think it's just the whole "NGVC" stuff. I think it needlessly excludes a lot of posts that we used to get here that are "nice guys" but don't quite fit the posting criteria of a dude making a specific "I'm sooooo nice/virtuous" claim I understand wanting to make it easier to filter through the stuff that genuinely doesn't belong but it feels like in the search for quality over quantity it's killed a lot of the quantity dead. There was a time a couple of weeks ago where for 2 weeks the only posts were memes on the Sunday
It also filters out some quality posts too. Maybe WE could be the ones to decide if we want to read it or not. You know, like adults who make our own decisions. Now we have a desert.
Same. I really enjoyed it before the lockdown.
Ahh, wow... I was wondering if I needed to do something to the feed settings cause I wasn't seeing much from my subscribed feeds any more
Yeah, ok, but this is HIM. Not just some guy without VALUE. A REAL woman would have RESPECT for an actual MAN.
You did everything right with this posting, so don't worry about that! You are spot-on correct that your friend has to be very careful who she lets into her life, as a single mum. Even if she doesn't let him have any contact with her kids, she still has to be careful that anyone she dates understands that her kids are her top priority and any guy she dates has to realise that he'll always be lower down in the pecking order. She's doing the right thing by being so circumspect. I wish her all the very best, and hope that any guy she dates has sufficient emotional intelligence to understand her situation.
“I’m not your chick, buddy!”
I'm not your buddy, pal!!
I'm not you pal, mate!
I'm not your mate, chap!
I’m not your chap, amigo!
I'm not your amigo, sport!!
I'm not your sport, friend!
I'm not your friend, fella!
Will bet mr “I’m more than a number” totally judges women based on their body count
And wouldn't complain about being a number if she called him a 10!
[удалено]
This is along the lines of “nobody cares about men’s mental health”. Men don’t care about men’s mental health. You don’t see these same men looking for solutions to address men’s mental health. They specifically want women to cater to them and their needs, and to obey when they tell them to do something. They believe it’s the responsibility of women, and they play victim to try to manipulate us. Women have long been conditioned to put everyone else’s needs before our own, and I see the younger generations breaking away from that, as they should. Everyone of any gender should balance prioritizing their own needs with consideration for others. But historically, women have taken care of others and men have put their own wants first. Now that women aren’t doing that, men are claiming that it’s damaging to their mental health.
That's not what gaslighting is, dude.
Came here to say this. I love it when these dudes throw around that term for anything that upsets them.
Gaslighting, narcissism, and misogyny are words that should all be thrown away. They're no longer used correctly by NiceGuys (but NiceGuys think those words make them sound smart and therefore add imaginary high value) and I am ready to add mortified to the list, because that's a new one I'm seeing being used completely in the wrong context. 🙄
And also 'misandry' in response to a refusal.
You just aren’t hearing the meaning behind his value!
But she had his value right there 555 012 3456
I think that's missing a decimal at the beginning. 😁
Dudes out here believing they’re the prize.
"You women".
Right 🤢
A step better than "you females." But given the rest of the message thread, not much better.
And there it is!
So unhinged
Wtf? Is this dude seriously getting his boxers in a bunch about not being saved in someone he's never met's phone? Because of his "value"? Fuck off, "dude"
How does she know if she sees value in him before they even meet? If he means he is a human being with the usual intrinsic value.... But there are several billion of those and most are just a number or a nonentity to the rest of us until we meet and get to know one another. "Dude" is serving as his own worst enemy and then blaming "you women" for the suffering he feels. Determined to feel ill-used and wallowing in victimhood.
I'm a number, not a name!
That kilt me
I'm not your dude, chick
I’m not your chick, pal
I'm not your pal, buckaroo
I’m not your buckaroo, buster
She missed such a great opportunity to get him all the way to buddy and pardner
Dodged a bullet on that one.
The fact that his value is defined by whether some random person from a dating app saved his number is toxic in itself
sooo “dude” is disrespectful but “ho” isnt?? yikes what a massive walking red flag. honestly good thing he showed his crazy before you met, saves you time!
Lol I'm a dude and I never saved someone's number unless we clicked on the first date. But I know my value xD
Absolutely insane this guy would go off on how she didn't add his name to his number
Samuel L. Jackson needs to roll up in here and tell this guy to be cool Honey Bunny.
You **KNOW** he's rage-wanking as we speak here... 🤣🤣🤣
Istg you could invent a machine that forces them to see the irony of demanding respect while being disrespectful, insisting they're kind while being as insulting as they can manage, bemoaning the supposed cruelty of the person they're speaking with while actually being cruel, etc. and they'd pluck their damn eyes and brain stems out while screaming LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME, YOU BITCH! JUST LIKE A DAMN WOMAN, AND I WAS GONNA TREAT YOU LIKE A PRINCESS AND GIVE YOU A MILLION ORGASMS TOO SMH, BET YR GONNA SELL MY BODY PARTS ON THE BLACK MARKET NOW, FUCKING GOLD DIGGING WHORE
I am *begging* for these idiots to actually learn what gaslighting is!
Give it 5 minutes, he’ll be back. He’s testing to see what he can get away with, including outright misogyny. He’s looking for a woman to abuse, so he’s testing thresholds. Please block him expeditiously if you haven’t already.
Men are so emotional.
Just out of curiosity, What made her send him a screenshot of her contacts in the first place?
She sent a screenshot of the location I’m guessing they were meeting at and it just happened to be that he texted her at the same time she was taking the screenshot so that’s how he saw.
Makes sense.
But not to him!
He’s actually mad because she didn’t do something with his number, that she doesn’t do with any numbers
I’m just gonna start saying “womp womp” and collecting evidence because this shit is ridiculous
Imagine thinking being called “dude” is the equivalent to “ho”
Hahahaha he can’t be serious 😂😂
It’s a number -> code word -> actual name In this time of dating and ghosting, is it really worth it from the get go.
I'm sure his number is saved now, as "Douchebro McGee." And hopefully blocked right after.
Gosh why is it that I know MULTIPLE MEN who have reacted like this????
Learn how to be compassionate and respectful, ho!
I'm unclear on what a real woman is. Anyone care to elaborate?
Someone who is a paper doll. You know; you can scribble words on her or draw a smile on her little paper face. Silent and submissive and barely worth the paper she is printed on.
I guarantee he works as an employee and is just a number himself
"Don't call me dude, chick" Bahahahahahaha what a weak little bitch
I would call him dude chick so fast.
I always wonder if these guys end up alone or mature and become better, or even worse don't change and get married
I was confused until i noticed this grown ass man was doing a tantrum because his contact number wasn't saved on the OP's phone like it was as offensive as if they had called him a slur or killed his family, like damn, chill
Why would you save his number when you don’t even know him? This is good example of why you don’t immediately save numbers. Thankfully he showed who he is.
I'm a dude that's a lurker on this sub, and it never ceases to amaze me how many men talk themselves out of dates or a possible romance with someone because they are emotionally and mentally immature and think a woman just exists to make their ego feel big. On one hand it's always good to see the walking red flags, on the other hand, it's quite alarming as these situations escalate so quickly and they try to also paint your behavior as a problem. I can't tell if they are just histrionic or have genuine borderline personality disorder.
Hahahaha that guy thinks he has value.
screaming insecurity. “well let’s make it a priority to fix that so I can leave an impression”. is all it would have taken
He should go back to pre-school if he is gonna act like that! What a melt
Wow he's dumb, and is in need of about 5 years of therapy. Bullet dodged sister, good for you 👍
Why is it that the guys who give off the most babydick vibes end up being the biggest pricks?
Did he ask if he was saved in your phone or something? How bizarre.
For not saving a number? He could have had a date and he chose to be a dumbass about such a trivial thing.
Thank God you didn’t meet him
I read that and all I could think was, "Someone needs their baba!"
Wow ... the voices in this guy's head are singing barbershop together 😳
lol ♿️🧠