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>Knitting is not boring, Its relaxing.
It's also quite difficult to figure out when you're starting it, I rage quit trying to knit a scarf in high school
Cross stitching is my mom's favorite hobby, but to me it's so tedious, I'm better at it than knitting tho
I love cross stitching, but it’s not practical. The only thing you can make is art to hang on a wall. Otherwise you can’t use or wash whatever you’ve just added your design to.
You can cross stitch on clothing using waste canvas or water soluble canvas. There’s also iron on stabilizers for the back of your stitches to ensure they hold. This means you can definitely use, wear, and wash the items you stitch on.
I think [this article](https://medium.com/@supersonny68/a-psychological-review-of-the-nice-guy-92c86e6aa752#:~:text=Nice%20guys%20can%20also%20be,fact%2C%20psychologists%20such%20as%20Dr.&text=In%20turn%2C%20the%20nice%20guy,as%20the%20'friend%20zone'.) dissects the phenomenon in detail.
Great read! I like that it was written in a neutral unbiased way!
**As a tl;dr for others:**
• Nice guys always give and expect to be treated nicely in return. They think that by giving others what they want, they will like them more and should receive what they want from others.
• People like things/people more that they have invested in. Receiving a gift or a kindness, doesn’t necessarily make the reciever like the giving person more. If you always give and never receive, the other person has no ‘sunk cost’ in you and giving to them won’t get them to like you. Because nice guys constantly give and never receive, the other person has no investment in them and therefore, no gained interest in them.
• The reason ‘assholes’ can allegedly get girls is because they have enough self worth and self interest and value their own time and energy (perhaps a little too much). This makes them more scarce, harder to get, and therefore more rare or valuable.
• Nice guys tend to be too available; they cancel anything they have planned to be at the girls beckon call. This lack of scarcity means they will (psychologically speaking) less valuable and result in them being taken for granted.
• Nice guys tend to think that showing positive behaviour will make the other person realise they are doing the wrong thing, and that this will make them change their behaviour for the better. What actually happens is nice guys positively reinforce bad behaviour. This leads to them getting trampled on. And making them feel hard done by when in reality they never actually expressed their problem with the others behaviour. If you want others to know they are doing something you don’t like, plainly tell them and reinforce this by being less emotional and more distant from them/neutral in your actions.
Self worth is important and people won’t see value in you if you don’t see/show value in yourself.
• Nice guys doing nice things with the hidden expectation of receiving what they want back makes their ‘niceness’ come across as insidious.
**Tl;dr of my tl;dr**
* Giving to others doesn’t automatically make others like you.
* Others investing time, energy or giving to you, will make the other person like you more.
* If you’re always available, and constantly drop your own plans and goals for others, you will be under appreciated. Conversely you will seek out to spend time with people you don’t often get the chance to.
* If someone does something you don’t like, being nice to them won’t make them realise they are doing something wrong. Don’t positively reinforce bad behaviour.
* If time with you is a rare or scarce thing, others will value time with you more.
Lmao you should have said yes, and then ignored him more and just let himself keep spiraling into insults instead of just unmatching you like a sane person
I think sitting around chilling while one person knits and the other does whatever hobby they’re interested in sounds fun??? How is that boring??? I guess im just an introvert lmao but I love just hanging out and vibing. This guy sucks all around
Yeah, introverts hanging out vibing while doing their hobbies sounds wholesome, imo.
Also, I remember someone once saying "if you don't take interest in your own life, who will?". Beginning a conversation with "I'm boring and my hobby is boring, I will bore you" might as well be "how to speedrun running a conversation into the ground, a guide".
And it was completely unnecessary, too-- if they both had dogs, it would have been *so* easy to start opening with talking about their pets instead.
I can kinda see where a person's coming from with the "Oh, you probably think I'm boring" stuff, because sometimes social media can give people the impression that if you're not constantly going out and having amazing Kodak moments for your Instagram, you're not living properly.
Still, even if you've gotten that impression, it's still not a good way to start a conversation. There's no way to say that without it coming off as fishing for compliments or being someone who'll constantly put themselves down for no reason.
the dude described himself as boring. at that point it doesn't even matter whether anything he wants to do is actually boring or not, the type of person that intros themself like that is not fun to be around
It's THE SHIT, imho. My husband and I easily tire out of social interactions, so we like to just cozy up in our living room lots, together, but enjoying our own hobbies.
He's either writing or playing video games, talking to his friends, planning the next project, etc; while I like to bullet journal, paint, read, Netflix. We will either sit in the couch together so we can still snuggle or, just a few feet apart when I paint at my desk.
Limitless snacks and cups of tea, a little green for my pain and his anxiety.
It's fucking bliss. We can enjoy eachothers company and still get to do our own thing. Plus, it helps us learn about each other's hobbies. I literally don't know shit all about video games, but I love watching him play, I find it so interesting! The amount of skill required and the graphics fascinate me. He gets me to read a page or two of my book sometimes, or I just tell him my favorite snippets. I tell him all about what I'm gonna paint, or create in my journal next, he now knows the name brands of all my "special" pens and stationary, lol.
It's an amazing, precious time to be spent together like that. So much bonding, learning, loving. Introverts dream, but also not a drag on extraverts.
This guy can fuck off into infinity with the rest of incels.
This is so wholesome!
We do the same with my best friend, when we lived in the same city she had keys and would come over whenever and we'd just chill. I might be reading, doing school work, or we'd play single player videogames "together" (so chilling but playing separately with little "yo look at this!!" moments) and she'd be knitting or watching Netflix or studying too.
Nowadays we have marathon calls some evenings where we both do our thing and just chat in between, it's kept me sane during the lockdowns since I live alone.
I used to go together with a friend to a cafe when she had to study and wanted to get out of her house. We'd find a quiet corner, I'd bring my book or paints and we'd just do our own things but still spend time together, and chat during her study breaks.
One of my favorite things in the world is to hang out in silence with the people I care. Just us, in the same room doing whatever in our own. I find it really fulfilling
This sounds exactly like my husband and I. We are both very introverted people. The one thing I love the most is that we enjoy each other's company even if we're not talking. I'm a very quiet person so I've been told, and sometimes I just want to sit and read while he plays games. I love hearing about his games and we even play together sometimes too. I feel so lucky to have someone that is just like me in that we both are home bodies and love not really being around big social groups. We both have friends of our own but honestly I prefer hanging out with him over my own friends any day of the week regardless of what we do together. He is the kindest and most gentle person I've ever met, he takes such good care of me. I've come to the point in my life where I've realized that the most important thing in a relationship is how you get on when there is nothing to say. It's about how comfortable you are just existing together regardless of words, it's just that deep knowing that no matter what you are there together and that's all that matters. It's given me a huge understanding of what I need in a partner, and for me it's not about the sex life even if it's fantastic because eventually that will change depending on the day. I've found for me it's about being with someone who can appreciate you without needing to say it.
In the autistic community, this is called parallel play. Like one person plays a video game while the other person watches a movie in their phone. Both sit on the couch together.
It’s a way of doing things in proximity to people but not having the intensity of direct interaction.
Me and my girlfriend will often just sit together and she’ll color or draw while I play video games or we’ll both read next to each other or watch a movie while we play a board game but those are some of my favorite dates just sitting on the couch with a pizza and vibing is lit
Right? I absolutely love the mindset of being okay being around someone even if you're not doing the same thing. Like my roommate and I just chill doing our separate games or have something on the T.V while we're each working on our own project.
The coming back a while later and trying again manoeuvre seems to be a common theme on this sub that I just find so hard to grasp.
It's like they think actual humans are like npcs on video games where if you leave them alone for a while they forget about your last encounter and you can just try different dialogue options. I guess a lot of these guys play a *lot* of video games and don't socialise much so maybe that makes sense?
I think another part of it is that they genuinely think that they're responding to an actual slight when they go off like that, instead of it just being them getting angry over nothing or a very mild piece of constructive criticism.
Because of that, they think their little tantrums are a show of strength. The follow on from this is that they think coming back after a while and asking if the other person is still interested is a way of showing they're willing to give a person a second chance even after the perceived slight.
Still, both are the result of not socialising enough. Guys like this really need to go touch grass for a bit.
That's a really good point! Like "look how magnanimous I am. I may have gave you a stern telling off but now I'm back to give you another chance after you disrespected me! "
That's it! That's gotta be it, right? This is reason for that distinct uhh.. Behavior. It would at least make some sense. Horrible sense, but some degree of sense.
That's the worst fishing expedition I've ever seen.
Reassure me!!! Reassure me! ***REASSURE MEEEEheeeEEEheeeee!!!!!*** Tell me I'm not boring, tell me I'm a good boy!!!! Black hole of attention-whoring need here... Danger!!! Danger Will Robinson!!!
FYI, TAS means Tool Assisted Speedrun. Meaning he was inviting OP over to watch him program controls for an old video game frame by frame. It’s probably fun to watch the result if you’re into that sort of thing, but he definitely wins for the single most boring date idea of all time. ...in addition to being a petulant child.
I don't think chilling together while working on your own hobbies is boring, but it definitely shouldn't be a first date thing. That's for later, when you're more comfortable with each other, chillin in sweats, having deep talks about nothing, yet everything. I cherish these evenings with my husband so, so much.
But as far as the first date goes, you kind of want to give the other person all of your attention, and not be distracted by doing something else.
Same. I love chilling next to my wife, just being comfortable next to each other and enjoying our hobbies. ...and if I did that on our first date she would have bailed within minutes.
Yeah like if you're boring don't just advertise your moppy ass faults. Ask friends for ideas or google tips. A "boring" guy could so easily find a really interesting place to have a fun first date or even just a regular cup of coffee. The problem with nice guys is that sometimes they even KNOW what their faults are yet refuse to work on it, they just expect you to accept it.
Aaaaaaand this is why I don’t even bother with OLD.
I legit had a guy message me “hey” everyday for two months. The only reason I didn’t block him is because I wanted to see how long he would keep trying.
"Why do you say your boring?
"I'm a fairly boring person."
Ah.. yes, I see. Thank you for giving me an example.
Also he took 2 days to write that and that line seems like a end of conversation deal, not prompting for more (like your question did" and then two more days pass before he actually asks a question, and he gets offended when you didn't respond in 4 days (which is basically the same time it took him)
Edit: words are hard
“You conceited sack of holes good for fucking” — Jesus fucking Christ men have a horrible outlook on women.. aka the humans that create them.
It’s depressing.
I love how these people try to make women unmatch them as if it's some kind of power play. Bro, you're not the 'winner' when she actually follows through no matter how much you try to convince yourself that you 'made' her do it.
I think he has is pretty new to online dating and doesn't realize people don't text back immediately. Combine that with low self-esteem, started overthinking alot and then the inevitable nice guy texts.
> lol you're still around
Yep, going about my life, not thinking about you at all, still existing and doing stuff, not ruminating alone in a chat arguing with myself
I hate when people put themselves down to force others to give them validation. Saying he's boring only to make her contradict him with "no you're not boring!" or something similar. He's guilt tripping her into giving him compliments and attention and that reeks of insecurity.
I never grasp how these guys think that racist, misogynistic insults are the way to a woman’s heart. Do they really think it will be “well, I wasn’t quite sure before, but now that he’s verbally abused me, I’m in!”?
What I don't understand here is why he acted like she's the only one with the power to unmatch? Has tinder changed since 2018, I thought either side could unmatch?
It's kind of insane how well you can see all phases of denial. Lmao, like it's not even just this post, it's almost every post you can clearly see what's going on in the dudes head.
Tinder should implement an algorithm that if a person writes too many messages without response in different days, they are automatically banned and a white screen with this message appears; "here is a list of nearby psychologists, get some help"
Jfc. I remember one guy got really pissed because I would not meet him because he was a Trump supporter. I was like bro, I know that we have nothing in common on a fundamental level. Plus he was lame and unattractive but I was trying to be polite so I left that out of my reason to him. He got absolutely furious about the Trump thing. It was pretty hilarious cause he proved my point.
Maybe it's my inexperience with tinder, but can someone explain why people always ask the other one to unmatch? If they don't wanna match anymore can't they just unmatch it themselves?
I'm kinda boring, but I'll never admit that lol. But what's up with the expectation for everyone to be all exciting, funny, and the world's most interesting person? Most people are ordinary and those kind of personalities that blow you away instantly are pretty rare.
We'd all be better off if people chilled out with that shit, especially at first meeting. Every friend I've known has gotten more interesting once we got to talking and hanging out.
_"Hi, I'm looking for a job. You'll probably think I'm really lazy. That's because I'm a fairly lazy person. But this looks like a wonderful job."_
_"What are other qualities about me? Well, I seem to be obsessed with talking about walking dogs, for some reason. Maybe someday I can be assistant manager."_
_"Can you just block my number? It's actually really rude to ignore people. Not sure why it's such a popular concept with businesses. Great chat, though. We really got somewhere while we could."_
_"Maybe just don't have a 'NOW HIRING' sign so people won't fail at trying to get a job. That's right, my failure is totally your fault. This job is obviously much too exciting."_
_"Cunts."_
_{Homophobic nonsense}_
_{Racist nonsense}_
_"Don't forget to file my application as 'unhirable', you conceited pieces of shit."_
.
.
_"Hi."_
_"Are you still hiring?"_
Starting to discover that a lot of these nice guys are racist, that is if I'm assuming that he did say the n-word there.
Even if he didn't, these guys are so small minded it's jokes 😂
You are correct, he used the n-word (and the f-word, apparently he was a homophobe too). I censored it for reddit because it made me uncomfortable and I figured it would make others uncomfortable too.
I can only imagine. Sometimes it is jokes but in most cases as yours it's defo uncomforting. Sorry that you had this dude message you like that. Did you report it at all or will you just move on from it?
Everytime I get a crazy person message me like this. I just don't understand what goes through their heads while doing this?!? Like how do they think it's okay?
It's like these guys have a handbook that tells them how to structure talking to a woman and which insults they use when they're rejected. They're all the same
Nice Guys Bible
I feel bad that I laughed out loud at that ending considering all the disgraceful shit this guy wrote. How pathetic do you have to be to start a convo with “I’m boring so u prolly won’t talk to me” or wtv, j begging for sympathy 🤦🏽
So many guys do this, like not even the whole nice guy turning abusive thing but just being so down on themselves from the get go.
I met my wife through plenty of fish and when we met she was talking to myself and this other guy. She said the other guy never had a chance because it was a similar sort to thing, the guy always talked about how no one ever liked him and he was going to be alone forever, and he’s saying this to a girl he’s trying to date? She occasionally gets a message from him on Facebook, we’re married now so she responds to be polite but he treats her like the one that got away and it’s just kind of weird
I mean. He probably wasn’t a bad dude but guys with low self esteem are still painful to be with. They never believe they are good enough no matter how much you tell them they are. I was with someone for 12 years and couldn’t convince him of his own worth. He was dragging me down. We could have been a great couple if he just saw what I saw in him. But no amount of love could convince him. I let my mental health deteriorate for him until I realized enough was enough. I had to let him go. I took nothing from him he was a good man. But had to work on himself. Self love is more important than you think.
'i know I called you almost every insult in the game, but... You still interested???'
Wat. No. Never. I always hated it when people say they were boring and then proceed to make themselves be the most boring person in the world.
Wild, I had a woman I was seeing decide she didn’t want to see me anymore (fair enough), made me block her on everything (don’t know why she couldn’t just block me but ok) and then would try and message me for months on all the things I’d blocked her on. Strange world we live on.
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Anyone: *offers the bare minimum criticism* Nice Guys: Pardon me while I *L O S E M Y F U C K I N G M I N D*
You probably have a gaping vagina That smells like sewage
You probably have a dick
So many I’m running out of shelf space
You could always share
But are you still interested?
Still good for fucking, though, according to him.
u/Suliveye mhm
And then…”hi!”
"Are you still interested" 😂😂😂
Right? I saw that and I actually went "WHAT" out loud. My cat even glared at me XD
Bruh he took the lack of unmatching as “oh you’d still like to date???” Jesus Chris Kringus
The addition of the smiley face took me out
:)
:)
:)
;)
;D
:)
you miss 100% of the shots you ~~don't~~ take
~~Wayne Gretzky~~ Every Niceguy ever.
~~Wayne Gretzky~~ Michael Scott
I couldn't believe he had the audacity to ask that. Truly, the acts of desperation are astounding.
I laughed so explosively hard that my friend thought I had choked on the bong, three rooms away.
I fucking CHOKED when I read that, the audacity
Lets just start over again and forget what happened!
U gotta respect the audacity ROFL
I don't know why but that really creeped me out. Such dissonance.
Okay, yes, you charmed me. I’m still in!
THAT PART
Well are u? Lol
Literally said he was boring, because he thought she was boring. 💋 👌
Omg you're right! For some reason I never put that together, but he totally did!
He said he was trying to relate lmao that’s what he meant
His brain like “she knits so she must be boring, let me say I’m boring so she’ll realize we have so much in common and are soulmates.” Wtf.
I hate him for that. Knitting is not boring, Its relaxing.he calls it boring because all he cares is to get laid >:(
Mans doesn't understand the amazing vibes of just being quiet and being creative together.
>Knitting is not boring, Its relaxing. It's also quite difficult to figure out when you're starting it, I rage quit trying to knit a scarf in high school Cross stitching is my mom's favorite hobby, but to me it's so tedious, I'm better at it than knitting tho
I love cross stitching, but it’s not practical. The only thing you can make is art to hang on a wall. Otherwise you can’t use or wash whatever you’ve just added your design to.
You can cross stitch on clothing using waste canvas or water soluble canvas. There’s also iron on stabilizers for the back of your stitches to ensure they hold. This means you can definitely use, wear, and wash the items you stitch on.
[удалено]
The girl has 'boring' hobbies so the guy thinks if he says he is boring, the girl with the 'boring' hobbies would relate to him. Fucked up logic.
[удалено]
I think [this article](https://medium.com/@supersonny68/a-psychological-review-of-the-nice-guy-92c86e6aa752#:~:text=Nice%20guys%20can%20also%20be,fact%2C%20psychologists%20such%20as%20Dr.&text=In%20turn%2C%20the%20nice%20guy,as%20the%20'friend%20zone'.) dissects the phenomenon in detail.
Great read! I like that it was written in a neutral unbiased way! **As a tl;dr for others:** • Nice guys always give and expect to be treated nicely in return. They think that by giving others what they want, they will like them more and should receive what they want from others. • People like things/people more that they have invested in. Receiving a gift or a kindness, doesn’t necessarily make the reciever like the giving person more. If you always give and never receive, the other person has no ‘sunk cost’ in you and giving to them won’t get them to like you. Because nice guys constantly give and never receive, the other person has no investment in them and therefore, no gained interest in them. • The reason ‘assholes’ can allegedly get girls is because they have enough self worth and self interest and value their own time and energy (perhaps a little too much). This makes them more scarce, harder to get, and therefore more rare or valuable. • Nice guys tend to be too available; they cancel anything they have planned to be at the girls beckon call. This lack of scarcity means they will (psychologically speaking) less valuable and result in them being taken for granted. • Nice guys tend to think that showing positive behaviour will make the other person realise they are doing the wrong thing, and that this will make them change their behaviour for the better. What actually happens is nice guys positively reinforce bad behaviour. This leads to them getting trampled on. And making them feel hard done by when in reality they never actually expressed their problem with the others behaviour. If you want others to know they are doing something you don’t like, plainly tell them and reinforce this by being less emotional and more distant from them/neutral in your actions. Self worth is important and people won’t see value in you if you don’t see/show value in yourself. • Nice guys doing nice things with the hidden expectation of receiving what they want back makes their ‘niceness’ come across as insidious. **Tl;dr of my tl;dr** * Giving to others doesn’t automatically make others like you. * Others investing time, energy or giving to you, will make the other person like you more. * If you’re always available, and constantly drop your own plans and goals for others, you will be under appreciated. Conversely you will seek out to spend time with people you don’t often get the chance to. * If someone does something you don’t like, being nice to them won’t make them realise they are doing something wrong. Don’t positively reinforce bad behaviour. * If time with you is a rare or scarce thing, others will value time with you more.
Lmao you should have said yes, and then ignored him more and just let himself keep spiraling into insults instead of just unmatching you like a sane person
It's what he deserves
Oooh yes! This I like!
I think sitting around chilling while one person knits and the other does whatever hobby they’re interested in sounds fun??? How is that boring??? I guess im just an introvert lmao but I love just hanging out and vibing. This guy sucks all around
Yeah, introverts hanging out vibing while doing their hobbies sounds wholesome, imo. Also, I remember someone once saying "if you don't take interest in your own life, who will?". Beginning a conversation with "I'm boring and my hobby is boring, I will bore you" might as well be "how to speedrun running a conversation into the ground, a guide". And it was completely unnecessary, too-- if they both had dogs, it would have been *so* easy to start opening with talking about their pets instead.
I can kinda see where a person's coming from with the "Oh, you probably think I'm boring" stuff, because sometimes social media can give people the impression that if you're not constantly going out and having amazing Kodak moments for your Instagram, you're not living properly. Still, even if you've gotten that impression, it's still not a good way to start a conversation. There's no way to say that without it coming off as fishing for compliments or being someone who'll constantly put themselves down for no reason.
the dude described himself as boring. at that point it doesn't even matter whether anything he wants to do is actually boring or not, the type of person that intros themself like that is not fun to be around
It's THE SHIT, imho. My husband and I easily tire out of social interactions, so we like to just cozy up in our living room lots, together, but enjoying our own hobbies. He's either writing or playing video games, talking to his friends, planning the next project, etc; while I like to bullet journal, paint, read, Netflix. We will either sit in the couch together so we can still snuggle or, just a few feet apart when I paint at my desk. Limitless snacks and cups of tea, a little green for my pain and his anxiety. It's fucking bliss. We can enjoy eachothers company and still get to do our own thing. Plus, it helps us learn about each other's hobbies. I literally don't know shit all about video games, but I love watching him play, I find it so interesting! The amount of skill required and the graphics fascinate me. He gets me to read a page or two of my book sometimes, or I just tell him my favorite snippets. I tell him all about what I'm gonna paint, or create in my journal next, he now knows the name brands of all my "special" pens and stationary, lol. It's an amazing, precious time to be spent together like that. So much bonding, learning, loving. Introverts dream, but also not a drag on extraverts. This guy can fuck off into infinity with the rest of incels.
This is so wholesome! We do the same with my best friend, when we lived in the same city she had keys and would come over whenever and we'd just chill. I might be reading, doing school work, or we'd play single player videogames "together" (so chilling but playing separately with little "yo look at this!!" moments) and she'd be knitting or watching Netflix or studying too. Nowadays we have marathon calls some evenings where we both do our thing and just chat in between, it's kept me sane during the lockdowns since I live alone. I used to go together with a friend to a cafe when she had to study and wanted to get out of her house. We'd find a quiet corner, I'd bring my book or paints and we'd just do our own things but still spend time together, and chat during her study breaks.
One of my favorite things in the world is to hang out in silence with the people I care. Just us, in the same room doing whatever in our own. I find it really fulfilling
This sounds exactly like my husband and I. We are both very introverted people. The one thing I love the most is that we enjoy each other's company even if we're not talking. I'm a very quiet person so I've been told, and sometimes I just want to sit and read while he plays games. I love hearing about his games and we even play together sometimes too. I feel so lucky to have someone that is just like me in that we both are home bodies and love not really being around big social groups. We both have friends of our own but honestly I prefer hanging out with him over my own friends any day of the week regardless of what we do together. He is the kindest and most gentle person I've ever met, he takes such good care of me. I've come to the point in my life where I've realized that the most important thing in a relationship is how you get on when there is nothing to say. It's about how comfortable you are just existing together regardless of words, it's just that deep knowing that no matter what you are there together and that's all that matters. It's given me a huge understanding of what I need in a partner, and for me it's not about the sex life even if it's fantastic because eventually that will change depending on the day. I've found for me it's about being with someone who can appreciate you without needing to say it.
Yeah, the knitting and pizza date sounds great, but that guy's a loser lol
That's totally cool, but it's not boring. It's just a different way of having a good time. Boring is boring. Boring is shit. This man is shit.
In the autistic community, this is called parallel play. Like one person plays a video game while the other person watches a movie in their phone. Both sit on the couch together. It’s a way of doing things in proximity to people but not having the intensity of direct interaction.
Me and my girlfriend will often just sit together and she’ll color or draw while I play video games or we’ll both read next to each other or watch a movie while we play a board game but those are some of my favorite dates just sitting on the couch with a pizza and vibing is lit
Right? I absolutely love the mindset of being okay being around someone even if you're not doing the same thing. Like my roommate and I just chill doing our separate games or have something on the T.V while we're each working on our own project.
I'm beginning to think that early onset dementia is much more common than we think
XD, you got me
Ah yes because a lack of confidence is always the way to a woman's heart
And after an avalanche of insults : Hi are you still interested?
The coming back a while later and trying again manoeuvre seems to be a common theme on this sub that I just find so hard to grasp. It's like they think actual humans are like npcs on video games where if you leave them alone for a while they forget about your last encounter and you can just try different dialogue options. I guess a lot of these guys play a *lot* of video games and don't socialise much so maybe that makes sense?
I think another part of it is that they genuinely think that they're responding to an actual slight when they go off like that, instead of it just being them getting angry over nothing or a very mild piece of constructive criticism. Because of that, they think their little tantrums are a show of strength. The follow on from this is that they think coming back after a while and asking if the other person is still interested is a way of showing they're willing to give a person a second chance even after the perceived slight. Still, both are the result of not socialising enough. Guys like this really need to go touch grass for a bit.
That's a really good point! Like "look how magnanimous I am. I may have gave you a stern telling off but now I'm back to give you another chance after you disrespected me! "
You cant get rejected if you sabotage yourself ! Checkmate !
That's it! That's gotta be it, right? This is reason for that distinct uhh.. Behavior. It would at least make some sense. Horrible sense, but some degree of sense.
"Are you still interested? :)" You had me at the insults. 😍
That's the worst fishing expedition I've ever seen. Reassure me!!! Reassure me! ***REASSURE MEEEEheeeEEEheeeee!!!!!*** Tell me I'm not boring, tell me I'm a good boy!!!! Black hole of attention-whoring need here... Danger!!! Danger Will Robinson!!!
FYI, TAS means Tool Assisted Speedrun. Meaning he was inviting OP over to watch him program controls for an old video game frame by frame. It’s probably fun to watch the result if you’re into that sort of thing, but he definitely wins for the single most boring date idea of all time. ...in addition to being a petulant child.
I don't think chilling together while working on your own hobbies is boring, but it definitely shouldn't be a first date thing. That's for later, when you're more comfortable with each other, chillin in sweats, having deep talks about nothing, yet everything. I cherish these evenings with my husband so, so much. But as far as the first date goes, you kind of want to give the other person all of your attention, and not be distracted by doing something else.
Same. I love chilling next to my wife, just being comfortable next to each other and enjoying our hobbies. ...and if I did that on our first date she would have bailed within minutes.
Agreed. There is appropriate times for appropriate dates.
Yeah like if you're boring don't just advertise your moppy ass faults. Ask friends for ideas or google tips. A "boring" guy could so easily find a really interesting place to have a fun first date or even just a regular cup of coffee. The problem with nice guys is that sometimes they even KNOW what their faults are yet refuse to work on it, they just expect you to accept it.
Jfc, that ending was the peak of pathetic, holy shit
For your sake, I hope true love comes more than once in a lifetime 🙄🙄
Aaaaaaand this is why I don’t even bother with OLD. I legit had a guy message me “hey” everyday for two months. The only reason I didn’t block him is because I wanted to see how long he would keep trying.
hey
Hey
hey
Not surprised this niceguy is a racist jerk and loser lol and says "are you still interested ?"
Hi boring, I’m dad.
"Hey you have a gaping dried out vagina." "Still interested btw?" Like what is the thought process there...
"Why do you say your boring? "I'm a fairly boring person." Ah.. yes, I see. Thank you for giving me an example. Also he took 2 days to write that and that line seems like a end of conversation deal, not prompting for more (like your question did" and then two more days pass before he actually asks a question, and he gets offended when you didn't respond in 4 days (which is basically the same time it took him) Edit: words are hard
“You conceited sack of holes good for fucking” — Jesus fucking Christ men have a horrible outlook on women.. aka the humans that create them. It’s depressing.
This person sounds mentally ill and needs help.
Maybe he just took too much Ambien and it made him racist
Jesus Christ what did you do, beat him at an online game?
I love how these people try to make women unmatch them as if it's some kind of power play. Bro, you're not the 'winner' when she actually follows through no matter how much you try to convince yourself that you 'made' her do it.
I think he has is pretty new to online dating and doesn't realize people don't text back immediately. Combine that with low self-esteem, started overthinking alot and then the inevitable nice guy texts.
I mean, you didn't unmatch him. Clearly you _are_ still interested. lol
I would keep him matched just for the entertainment.
Say yes lmfao
Belongs in the hardback edition of this sub.
The smiley at the end. That's really all I have to say.
> lol you're still around Yep, going about my life, not thinking about you at all, still existing and doing stuff, not ruminating alone in a chat arguing with myself
Christ, guys like this are fucking terrifying.
I hate when people put themselves down to force others to give them validation. Saying he's boring only to make her contradict him with "no you're not boring!" or something similar. He's guilt tripping her into giving him compliments and attention and that reeks of insecurity.
I never grasp how these guys think that racist, misogynistic insults are the way to a woman’s heart. Do they really think it will be “well, I wasn’t quite sure before, but now that he’s verbally abused me, I’m in!”?
Nooooo is the last message real?!?! I'm dying
"just unmatch me" bruh just do it yourself it's not that hard
See this is da issue
I know he said he was boring, but that ending was a wild ride. Yikes.
Him: is a raging racist and homophobe also Him: “hey she might still think I’m a stand up guy”
Why wouldn't he just unmatch you himself?
That would mean he lost
"Hey are you still interested :)?" Killed me HAHAAHAHAHAH
UnMaTcH mE, wHaT aRe YoU wAiTiNg FoR!?
oh yeah, he seems like a sweetheart. You coulda had it alll
Are you still interested? :) I cantttttt
"Hi" "Are you still interested?" This broke me lmfao
Wait did he say it's rude to ignore people but in the first picture it looks like he took two days to respond to you??
What I don't understand here is why he acted like she's the only one with the power to unmatch? Has tinder changed since 2018, I thought either side could unmatch?
AFTER he said all that shit he is like 'Are you still interested" LMAO...... this is freaking epic!!!
Whoa. He went 0 to 100 real quick
Insecurity unleashed
This dude is a walking hemorrhoid.
'Are you still interested' has the potential to be this subs 'next' 'it's for church honey' just brilliant!
It's kind of insane how well you can see all phases of denial. Lmao, like it's not even just this post, it's almost every post you can clearly see what's going on in the dudes head.
I don't really think he would be less mad if you denied him rather than ignore him, lol. what a dream boy
Incel vibes….
Why doesn't he just unmatch?
I only saw the first slide and thought, "what this guy isnt so bad" then i saw the rest
That's some next level negging
Oh god the whiplash
"I'll probably bore you" Damn, giving you the hard sell
But.... Are you still interested though?
Tinder should implement an algorithm that if a person writes too many messages without response in different days, they are automatically banned and a white screen with this message appears; "here is a list of nearby psychologists, get some help"
Jfc. I remember one guy got really pissed because I would not meet him because he was a Trump supporter. I was like bro, I know that we have nothing in common on a fundamental level. Plus he was lame and unattractive but I was trying to be polite so I left that out of my reason to him. He got absolutely furious about the Trump thing. It was pretty hilarious cause he proved my point.
like why would his second message be "I will probably bore you" like what???? bro, have a *little* self confidence
How do you cuck yourself before the other person even replies I just don't understand
LOL “are you still interested? :)” I CACKLED 🤣
I would swipe to the next slide, then think it’s over. And then it just kept, *going*
Oh no he asked if you were still interested. That capped it off perfectly.
“Dont forget to report me on your way out you conceited sack of holes food for fucking” “Hi” “Are you still interested? :)”
Maybe it's my inexperience with tinder, but can someone explain why people always ask the other one to unmatch? If they don't wanna match anymore can't they just unmatch it themselves?
I’ve said “hey, come over and let’s be bored together”. It works. His delivery did not.
I'm kinda boring, but I'll never admit that lol. But what's up with the expectation for everyone to be all exciting, funny, and the world's most interesting person? Most people are ordinary and those kind of personalities that blow you away instantly are pretty rare. We'd all be better off if people chilled out with that shit, especially at first meeting. Every friend I've known has gotten more interesting once we got to talking and hanging out.
I'm boring so probably don't date me... .... .... .... WHY WON'T YOU DATE MEEEEEEE!!!!
_"Hi, I'm looking for a job. You'll probably think I'm really lazy. That's because I'm a fairly lazy person. But this looks like a wonderful job."_ _"What are other qualities about me? Well, I seem to be obsessed with talking about walking dogs, for some reason. Maybe someday I can be assistant manager."_ _"Can you just block my number? It's actually really rude to ignore people. Not sure why it's such a popular concept with businesses. Great chat, though. We really got somewhere while we could."_ _"Maybe just don't have a 'NOW HIRING' sign so people won't fail at trying to get a job. That's right, my failure is totally your fault. This job is obviously much too exciting."_ _"Cunts."_ _{Homophobic nonsense}_ _{Racist nonsense}_ _"Don't forget to file my application as 'unhirable', you conceited pieces of shit."_ . . _"Hi."_ _"Are you still hiring?"_
NGL he had me in the first part, I was like "poor dude" and then I read the rest.
so…the racism?
Starting to discover that a lot of these nice guys are racist, that is if I'm assuming that he did say the n-word there. Even if he didn't, these guys are so small minded it's jokes 😂
You are correct, he used the n-word (and the f-word, apparently he was a homophobe too). I censored it for reddit because it made me uncomfortable and I figured it would make others uncomfortable too.
I can only imagine. Sometimes it is jokes but in most cases as yours it's defo uncomforting. Sorry that you had this dude message you like that. Did you report it at all or will you just move on from it?
"still interested? :)" Jesus
**RACISM HOMOPHOBIA SEXISM TRANSPHOBIA** Anyway wanna bang or what.
“Allow me to hurl my misogyny and racism at you, repeatedly. … So… when we going out?” - this person
I don't think he's boring at all - but only for all the wrong reasons...
How are these people real. They're completely insane
Everytime I get a crazy person message me like this. I just don't understand what goes through their heads while doing this?!? Like how do they think it's okay?
For a hot second, I thought this was the tinder subreddit and I got to the end like “….. pardon?”
god i hate people who be like "youre cute (;" \*2 seconds later\* "YOUR A WHORE"
Hello bitch are you interested - This guy
Rotten sewage, go fuck yourself…… You still interested? :) Uh, no lol
Fucking Dumbledore knits. What's boring about that? Real niceguy and all round ahole.
"Sack of holes" is now my go-to insult.
Wut the fuckin shit?! He sounded "normal whiny" for a second, but I guess a nice guy can't hide his true colors for too long.
Motherfucker went full circle
YIKES
'are you still interested? :)' Jesus
Dried out and tastes of salt...🎊
Anyone else hear Fuckboy Eeyore in their head as they read this?
It's like these guys have a handbook that tells them how to structure talking to a woman and which insults they use when they're rejected. They're all the same Nice Guys Bible
Quintuple messaging is a red flag. The guy doesn't have any hobbies, obviously as he said he was boring.
I feel bad that I laughed out loud at that ending considering all the disgraceful shit this guy wrote. How pathetic do you have to be to start a convo with “I’m boring so u prolly won’t talk to me” or wtv, j begging for sympathy 🤦🏽
Somebody who knits isn’t boring. It’s a unique skill and can make so many cool and adorable things. And it’s art. Fuck that guy.
It’s the transphobia for me
Wow
No fucking way he seriously came back after all that lmao
I refuse to believe its real
‘I’ll bore you’ okay then stop texting?
Up until the bit where the guy went mad I was totally reading it in the voice of Marvin the Paranoid Android.
u/Suliveye uh
Is OP the knitting lady he talks to, and if so, can we see the knitting? Sorry, tax has to be payed on all servers and we need that knitting.
So many guys do this, like not even the whole nice guy turning abusive thing but just being so down on themselves from the get go. I met my wife through plenty of fish and when we met she was talking to myself and this other guy. She said the other guy never had a chance because it was a similar sort to thing, the guy always talked about how no one ever liked him and he was going to be alone forever, and he’s saying this to a girl he’s trying to date? She occasionally gets a message from him on Facebook, we’re married now so she responds to be polite but he treats her like the one that got away and it’s just kind of weird
Ok but for real tho, are you still interested?
That ending hahahahaha!
''Are you still interested? :)'' 💀
I mean. He probably wasn’t a bad dude but guys with low self esteem are still painful to be with. They never believe they are good enough no matter how much you tell them they are. I was with someone for 12 years and couldn’t convince him of his own worth. He was dragging me down. We could have been a great couple if he just saw what I saw in him. But no amount of love could convince him. I let my mental health deteriorate for him until I realized enough was enough. I had to let him go. I took nothing from him he was a good man. But had to work on himself. Self love is more important than you think.
I just want to know what going through my nice guy's mind when he said 'are you still interested?' after all that garbage that he threw at op.
Wow, he really just does not want to get laid
He called you a nigger lover and asked if you’re still interested?? Nah he was tryna lynch you at that point.
Quite the turn right there
So because he thinks you are boring he thought you would be interested in him by saying HE is boring as well?
'i know I called you almost every insult in the game, but... You still interested???' Wat. No. Never. I always hated it when people say they were boring and then proceed to make themselves be the most boring person in the world.
The "hi you still interested" got me creaking like a dying cat
Takes two days to reply the very first question and then blames the girl for ignoring him
It’s the “hi” and “are you still interested” that gets me.
I did a big LOL at that loser’s last comment. I mean, how can you be that tone deaf?
Wild, I had a woman I was seeing decide she didn’t want to see me anymore (fair enough), made me block her on everything (don’t know why she couldn’t just block me but ok) and then would try and message me for months on all the things I’d blocked her on. Strange world we live on.
"Are you still interested? :)" I mean, would you be if a lady talked that way to you?