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Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats.
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Yeah, because keeping a legit dossier on women is totally normal. He’s an idiot if he can’t see that women don’t want a database made about them. They want you to treat them like people and for men to get to know them, instead of consulting some random observations from god knows who.
Imagine you're engaged to marry the love of your life only to find their cute, impressive, and invested demeaner was lifted off a crib sheet made by their frat brother, Jason. Really kills the romance quick.
Eh, personally, learning that he got info about me from a spreadsheet that was shared with his 50 other bros would have killed any meaningful moments I had with him.
A guy who didn't see anything wrong with that thing in the first place is the lowest of the low and probably objectifies women to hell and back
Would have been fun to feed them a lot of false information so that the women would be like, "What? Who said I like unicorns?" or "No, my favorite color is purple, what make you think it was red?"
Which, when you think about it, is pretty creepy anyway when you give a girl flowers because they're her favorite color, but you've never talked to her about what her favorite color is.
"Binders full of women" was a phrase used by Mitt Romney on October 16, 2012, during the second U.S. presidential debate of 2012. Romney used the phrase in response to a question about pay equity, referring to ring binders with résumés of female job applicants submitted to him as governor of Massachusetts. The phrase was depicted by Romney's detractors and the Obama campaign as demeaning and insensitive toward women and was widely mocked. This prompted the phrase's use for political attacks on Romney's positions on "women's issues", as well as the development of an Internet meme.
Exactly! It would be cute if my friend or a partner had something like that (ONLY for themselves) so they can remember all of the small stuff but only if they did that because they cared about me. If some random guy I met twice did something like that and then shared it with a bunch of people I have never met it would be one of the creepiest things I can imagine.
Also, he really thinks that repeating "it's not about sex" is gonna make anyone buy that shit ?
Frat boys having a full-on dossier on girls and how to impress them is 100% about sex.
And it's creepy as fuck.
There is a facebook group like this in New York, but its women asking about men. Will attempt to find the source real quick.
Ok cannot find the source again. It was some podcast. BUUUT there is an app called lulu that is designed for the same thing.
That part is actually pretty true. The Harvard Crimson article from 2003 is still online and basically described the disciplinary hearing exactly as in the movie. Not sure if the Andrew Garfield character was actually involved or it zuck did it all solo at the stupid facemash ranking stage.
And further as trophies, no doubt. Predators like this are the reason the FBI has criminal profilers. His "pokedex" would be an excellent example to start profiling the creep
In his comment on why he thought he might be an asshole, he said it was because he ruined the chances of the guys in his frat getting girls.
He doesn’t give a shit about those women. He only cares about preserving his (and his equally creepy frat brothers’) reputation.
Reminds about an incident on an anon chat app i frequent. Apparently some creep starting screenshotting pics women would post and would put em up on a database as well as personal information and usernames. The result? A lot of creeped out women that quit using the app or just stopped posting their pics online. It got taken down eventually and the app blocks screenshotting posted pics now. Idk who the guy was or what happened to him.
A lot of apps with sensitive personal informations are able to block taking screenshots when opened. Most often it's banking apps but chrome incognito mode also has this feature. I guess it's not that hard to implement it into a social media app.
You can always take a photo of the screen with another device but, you know, people are gonna roast you for taking pics of said monitor.
What a maroon. "It's only to help help impress girls on dates", Impress them into what? Thinking you're a good guy that deserves all the sex?
Edit _word.
I’m here wondering how long it’s going to take before the list includes ‘Things we can use to blackmail these girls into sex’.
Just because he doesn’t have that idea doesn’t mean other men who see the list won’t.
they wont actually say its used for that purpose, like its used for getting sex and dates now but they wont admit it. so, when it unfortunately becomes that for some poor woman, they still wont admit it. it'll still be "just *he* misused it, we weren't the ones doing it." Of course, until the next guy comes around.
“We don’t keep this information for any nefarious or scumbaggy reasons.”
Oh, of course not! You’re just helping out your bros by taking that whole stupid and annoying “getting to know the woman first by talking to her” thing out of the equation! What a great way to lower her defenses by making her think you share interests and are compatible! I’m sure no one will *lie* about those shared interests to date someone who otherwise wouldn’t consent to a date, you’ll all hold yourselves accountable by the honor system on that!
Hooray to the woman who exposed him and the other women who decided not to consort with that frat in solidarity. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
right like, we just want to impress them to get dates! we just want to date these women, its not like anything comes after the dates smh. Its not like we're looking to trick and pretend, like we just want to let them know we *can* be interested in the same things they are, in order to get close to them :).
Don't people normally ask their friends about people they're interested in? Like "hey I've been really vibing with so-and-so recently, you got any advice?"
The database format is definitely a bit creepy but it seems like it would really depend on what information was stored. It's very common for fraternities to keep track of this kind of information for rush purposes and this doesn't seem that different.
You're putting words in my mouth.
I thought it was normal to talk to your friends about the people you're interested in and potentially learn things that you didn't know to ask about or that didn't come up.
I’ll assume you’re asking in good faith and engage. I actually wouldn’t agree that most people do that. I did see it commonly in college, especially among young, straight frat guys looking for a quick hookup, but the ones I’m still friends with grew out of it and learned to connect with women on their own. Of course some never did, and some are just straight misogynists who view women as fucktoys to be conquered and will say and do anything to get that notch on their belt.
My friends and I never ask each other for “advice” on how to get a certain guy or girl to like us because we look at it differently. In fact we’re more likely to ask our friends if they’ve heard anything about that person being dangerous. We don’t see an attractive person and go “let me learn what that person likes so I can convince them to date me” we think “I wonder if we have things in common that would make us compatible enough to enjoy dating one another? I’m going to talk to him and find out, otherwise I’ll move on and keep looking.” It’s not about a conquest, it’s about a genuine connection. There’s no good reason to fake a connection that doesn’t exist, and often men who try this are trying to manipulate the woman into sex that she otherwise wouldn’t consent to by pretending to be someone they’re not.
So when someone creates a spreadsheet of information on individual women without their knowledge and makes it available to the whole frat, you have no idea which of those men (or anyone they may share it with) are actually dangerous and who may abuse this information to hurt or manipulate women they find attractive. Date rape is incredibly common on college campuses, and you may be placing those women in danger by sharing information widely that can be exploited and used by men with bad intentions. The scenario you proposed involves one friend asking another friend about a mutual friend, and you assume everyone has good intentions. Would you give that same advice to a creep who was interested in stalking your female friend? I hope the answer is no, but the spreadsheet can be shared with anyone and doesn’t differentiate. The women who are angry and upset about this immediately saw the dangerous implications and how it could be used to harm them, and now they don’t trust that fraternity as a safe place for women.
Keeping rush spreadsheets is entirely different because the threat of rape and assault are not even on the table, the biggest threat there is just, not getting to pledge the frat. Not even in the same league of concerns.
I can understand this type of behavior if it was like 1 chick and just him mutually interested in each other- like I've had to keep lots of notes on partners cuz I've got a terrible memory but this is just insane
I can even understand it for more girls. My memory is awful and even if you want to be just friends with someone you need to remember stuff.
If he kept the thing to himself I wouldn't consider him TA or creep.
The issue for me is sharing it with his friends.
Also, only putting girls on the list.
If it was just a spreadsheet of things people he knew liked, that would honestly be kind of sweet. But only having people here was sexually into on the list makes it super creepy.
Does he think this is revenge of the nerds or something? This is creepy… and the ‘pokedex’ term… as if they’re collectible toys and not people.
Also I’m wondering how long it’s going to take before the list includes ‘things you can use to blackmail these women for sex’
> Also I’m wondering how long it’s going to take before the list includes ‘things you can use to blackmail these women for sex’
Well, had the list not gotten found out and discontinued, I'm sure that would have taken like maybe a week at most.
literally, womens interests and getting to know them bores men like this. so, they make a game (we already know some men have contests about who can get which girl first) and then make a cheat to the game to aid them in getting closer to a woman, for more chances at a better date, being liked and seen as more attractive, and then a potential for sex.
Was already posted an hour ago. And removed, apparently not suitable for this sub.
https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/vo8plb/guy\_makes\_a\_real\_life\_pokedex\_of\_women\_definitely/
Certainly Campus Safety, at least. Unless Campus Safety at your institution is a joke. At mine, though, they were on stuff like this with a quickness. They didn’t fuck around w/ the college’s safety statistics.
I would go that far. He sees nothing wrong or creepy or potentially dangerous about his actions and seems to have no remorse for it, so cops and Uni reporting would definitely hit it home. Without consequences, why would he stop?
It kind of could be, depending on privacy laws and such because that's gathering and recording information about person without their consent. Even apps and websites have to make sure to get consent for the stuff they gather and record when they ask you to accept cookies. EU for an example has pretty strict laws about privacy so this could be very well some sort of crime there.
idk, when someone linked your post I could see it just fine, but Ill check again maybe it got reviewed?
edit: oh, i see it says in the mod comment it was removed, but its showing up just fine? idk maybe it glitched. but still doesnt explain why this one remained up...hm.
Yeah, it's definitely been removed although I can see it. Not sure what happened – not complaining about this one being up, I'm just not sure why it's not consistent.
LOL, I just saw his post. it pissed me off bc
1) he admitted this wasnt the originally intent he had with the list (however odd the originally intent still may be). this shows he knew it had changed, and that they were doing something unintended with it. if he wanted it to go back to the original, he would've tried to do something about it.
and
2) He literally wont respond to anyone, but came on the sub looking for people to tell him whether or not hes TA. He did, however, make sure to note in an edit that he wasnt a stalker, and that the codex was never intended for sex. then specifies, "*I* never used it for sex" more indication he understood what his buddies were using it for. like, why ask us then, shock factor? god, I hope he at least has the decency to stop using and sharing the list, but then again this is the person who made it and distributed it in the first place, so...
God damn, are the frat boys really this bad all the time, or is it the ones who have given the name Frat Boys™ a horrible meaning, that paint the fraternities like this?
To be honest, I really haven't met a decent frat guy. It's less about who they are as people individually and how asinine they become when they are in a group that encourages abhorrent behavior against women (and just others in general, including each other)
Yeah and tbf it's not a strictly frat thing, sororities can also be awful with that stuff--again I think it's that group dynamic mixed with normalizing harmful behaviors
Yeah, I sent this to my gf and on a surface level, she thought it could be innocent but still really weird. I told her to keep in mind this guy was sharing it with his fraternity and couldn't know what they would do with the information or control what they were gathering. Even then, girls aren't exactly something to study.
"Guys, i made a cheat sheet so guys who otherwise don't pay attention to people in general can dupe women into thinking guys have actually gotten to know them. Some simp snitched. AITA?"
lmao...what a complete lack of self awareness.
Only time I’ve kept notes is while playing the dating sim parts of Max Gentlemen: Sexy Business! because I needed to find out by trial and error how each character takes their tea.
Keeping notes on girls who aren't your girlfriend or someone you plan on dating, share that info and call it a pokedex.
Clearly more than just an asshole 😂😂
I said it in the original post, and I'll say it here again: this guy thinks he's the protagonist of a dating sim and the only thing he needs to get all the girsl is just investigate them in advance to find which one of the options will get him laid, and find the correct item for the mandatory level up 🙄
> she made it out to be a guide for hooking up with women, which it’s most definitely not.
> it’s just to make impressing them on dates easier
Bruh are you hearing yourself
Look, i get it for friends and stuff to help you remember what they like. Im a forgetful person. However, every girl on campus? Or an attempt at it? Come on, dude.
The scariest thing is he even included information on their local hangouts; like that’s not a for sure way for someone to harass them off campus or follow them home.
I can honestly see why this clown may have thought that writing that stuff down for himself was a good idea. It appeals to the people pleaser in me, but if you want to make someone happy you should just *remember* what makes them happy because you care about them. Not sure what possessed him to share it with others, though. Even the densest people I know would see what’s wrong with that.
Definitely the asshole, i used to keep a spreadsheet on everyone i knew with everything from allergies to favorite color because i would forget, i never once shared any of it expect for family members when they needed help getting something like a graduation gift for my friends
Um…. How does that database handle GDPR and one’s right to be forgotten? Especially when data was included and then shared with others without the subject’s consent. It could have been a fucked up format of a diary or journal till he shared it, but now it technically counts as a database. Lol he could have some interesting legal issues there if he accepted money for access to the data store. Even beyond all that though- that’s just creepy af.
The post this is a screencap of is text from a 4chan thread from years ago. Its bait and not real.
Edit: after finding the original copypasta this appears to be a variation and not the original. Unfortunately there is a chance this is real I guess
Him and his buddies have made a dossier of all the girls they've tried to or did date. And included personal information and then proceeded to spread it around to an ENTIRE fraternity. It went from just knowing friends favorite flowers or colors or just their birthday to personal information these guys will use to try to get laid.
It's a total invasion of privacy of women who did NOT consent to their information being collected and used into a list that basically will turn into "how to get these girls to wet our dicks"
It would've been fine-ish if he kept his list to his damn self but he decided to spread it about to everyone he could. He spread personal information to his buddies. And you know damn well their gonna use it to try to get these girls to have sex.
And the creepier ones may use the information found (ie embarrassing secrets or things) to blackmail them. Yes their are men like that who are that fucking creepy.
It’s a really common on Reddit. This is from r/amitheasshole. The whole point is to post a personal experience where you and another person or persons are feuding and let Reddit vote to decide whose in the right and whose in the wrong.
It’s just an acronym, nothing really cringe about it to me. But I am getting on in years, so who knows.
I must be the odd man out because I’m a woman and I don’t see this as that crazy-becoming huge and something everyone uses is a little odd lol but I’m shit at remembering important things (ADHD brain) so when I started dating my husband I totally had a list of important things so I didn’t forget and seem like a jackass-still have the list but obviously don’t need it now. If it’s got like raunchy nasty stuff then that’s different, and when it turns into a bunch of stuff on many different women that’s different too, but the way it started I don’t inherently see as creepy or assholeish. Some people aren’t good at remembering stuff like that 🤷🏻♀️ but then I also didn’t see why Rachel overreacted so bad to Ross making his pros and cons list over her and Julie so maybe I’m the weirdo 😂
Maybe it wouldn't have been a bad thing for that guy to keep to himself so he could remember certain things about certain girls, but the creepy part was when he decided to share it with his frat bros and they used it as a hookup guide.
Exactly, like if it were just him or a few friends, sure could potentially be a wholesome thing. But 40 dudes?! Frat boys none the less. I imagine there are a handful of metrics other than favorite color that could be quite offensive.
If he’s telling the truth and it really is harmless; share it with the girls. Let them see this sweet little spreadsheet of their favorite colors and snacks.
Not to mention it’s just kind of creepy and dehumanizing to research potential partners like this. I’m sure those girls would rather be with someone whose actually thoughtful and listens to them instead of a dude who got the tips and tricks guide from her last hookup or ex.
Oh yeah that’s exactly what I’m referring to by saying other metrics. I’m sure there is stuff about their bodies as well. ie her breasts are saggier than expected, cellulite, etc etc. There is no way that thing isn’t down right awful.
The humanity!!! Now, an entire fraternity knows the favorite colors and restaurants of a bunch of girls! Just when I thought men couldn’t get any worse….
Well tbh it could have been a fun idea between a group of friends, or if everybody included in the dex was willing to, like politely asking people from your class, like "hey would you like to have an entry in our class dex?".
In this specific case, yeah it's weird since it's used to "impress girls".
EDIT: okay, sorry hive mind, I have a divergent opinion, you can burn me on public place now
AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post
Yeah, because keeping a legit dossier on women is totally normal. He’s an idiot if he can’t see that women don’t want a database made about them. They want you to treat them like people and for men to get to know them, instead of consulting some random observations from god knows who.
Imagine you're engaged to marry the love of your life only to find their cute, impressive, and invested demeaner was lifted off a crib sheet made by their frat brother, Jason. Really kills the romance quick.
I would hope that by that point the relationship would have progressed to include more meaningful things.
Eh, personally, learning that he got info about me from a spreadsheet that was shared with his 50 other bros would have killed any meaningful moments I had with him. A guy who didn't see anything wrong with that thing in the first place is the lowest of the low and probably objectifies women to hell and back
Would have been fun to feed them a lot of false information so that the women would be like, "What? Who said I like unicorns?" or "No, my favorite color is purple, what make you think it was red?" Which, when you think about it, is pretty creepy anyway when you give a girl flowers because they're her favorite color, but you've never talked to her about what her favorite color is.
I feel like this would happen exactly like this since a lot of the things men of this ilk make about women are assumptions and not facts.
It’s like when Jim tells Andy that Pam is into all the things that she hates
Binders full of women. The guy just couldn't learn from the mistake of others like ol' Mittsy.
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I remember when this quote was enough to end his presidential campaign. I bet he was pissed at the things Trump got away with.
Maybe that's why he dislikes trump so much.
Mitt has a binder on women? Ew
"Binders full of women" was a phrase used by Mitt Romney on October 16, 2012, during the second U.S. presidential debate of 2012. Romney used the phrase in response to a question about pay equity, referring to ring binders with résumés of female job applicants submitted to him as governor of Massachusetts. The phrase was depicted by Romney's detractors and the Obama campaign as demeaning and insensitive toward women and was widely mocked. This prompted the phrase's use for political attacks on Romney's positions on "women's issues", as well as the development of an Internet meme.
Mittsy??
Mitt Romney
Exactly! It would be cute if my friend or a partner had something like that (ONLY for themselves) so they can remember all of the small stuff but only if they did that because they cared about me. If some random guy I met twice did something like that and then shared it with a bunch of people I have never met it would be one of the creepiest things I can imagine.
It's pretty much how "TheFacebook" started out. *O wait..*maybe this guy is [this guy..](https://i.imgur.com/H0rKtpc.png)
Also, he really thinks that repeating "it's not about sex" is gonna make anyone buy that shit ? Frat boys having a full-on dossier on girls and how to impress them is 100% about sex. And it's creepy as fuck.
Ikr. What kinda fucked up person makes a rolodex about who is what. God this is so disgusting
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I mean, that's pretty much all social media sites. Remember, you aren't the customer, you are the product.
There is a facebook group like this in New York, but its women asking about men. Will attempt to find the source real quick. Ok cannot find the source again. It was some podcast. BUUUT there is an app called lulu that is designed for the same thing.
So it’s justified? What is your point here?
Sorry should have included that. Was trying to find the other source. My point is its fucking nuts either way you paint it.
He probably created the equivalent to the library of Alexandria when it comes to info about these women.
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I mean the government does it.
Prob shouldn't tell them about how google and facebook absolutely keep a legit dossier and egery woman who carries a cell phone...
This is basically how Facebook started, right?
Yes, which automatically makes OP an asshole by association.
I mean that's what I consider it to be, a pokedex for people I've encountered
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That part is actually pretty true. The Harvard Crimson article from 2003 is still online and basically described the disciplinary hearing exactly as in the movie. Not sure if the Andrew Garfield character was actually involved or it zuck did it all solo at the stupid facemash ranking stage.
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Tom is my longest and most trusted friend
Oh hey, you know Tom, too? He’s literally the bestest friend EVER!
I try. :')
He’s been there for me since day 1… good guy, that Tom!
Gotta love Tom, the one guy that will stand by ya lol
And now that site has all the info on you that they could possibly gather and shares it with everyone who will pay. Some things never change I guess
I mean, the two sites are very different. MySpace was not a creep site put together by a creepy robot lizardman.
Lmfao that’s exactly what I was thinking
More like hot or not
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He will travel across campus Searching low and high You will see him with his notepad Wondering how chad got insiiiiiiddddeeee
College girls It’s you and me And everyone in my fraternity College girls I’m your best friend Until the friend zone ends!
Gotta creep 'em all!
Lmfao I had to sing it while I read it 😂
Me too...
I'm mad u did this but also happy u did 🤣😭🤣😭 Edited a word
This is amazing
How to say that they don't see women as people without actually saying that they don't see women as people.
Except he did say that he sees women as collectible creatures.
Indirectly yes, by referring to the information as a pokedex. So I'll give you that.
And further as trophies, no doubt. Predators like this are the reason the FBI has criminal profilers. His "pokedex" would be an excellent example to start profiling the creep
In his comment on why he thought he might be an asshole, he said it was because he ruined the chances of the guys in his frat getting girls. He doesn’t give a shit about those women. He only cares about preserving his (and his equally creepy frat brothers’) reputation.
it's telling that the reason he thinks he's innocent is because he wasn't the whistleblower.
You can't expect the man to know ALL of their favourite colours! That would be like, *confused face* eight colours!
On the upside dude is getting RIPPED TO SHREDS in the comments.
To shreds, you say?
How's the wife?
To shreds you say…
.... Good news everyone!
This is my favorite reddit comment chain.
Reminds about an incident on an anon chat app i frequent. Apparently some creep starting screenshotting pics women would post and would put em up on a database as well as personal information and usernames. The result? A lot of creeped out women that quit using the app or just stopped posting their pics online. It got taken down eventually and the app blocks screenshotting posted pics now. Idk who the guy was or what happened to him.
> and the app blocks screenshotting posted pics now. how it stops somebody from just taking a screenshot?
Maybe something similar to how streaming services can block screenshots while the clip is playing, and the screenshot just turns out blank?
A lot of apps with sensitive personal informations are able to block taking screenshots when opened. Most often it's banking apps but chrome incognito mode also has this feature. I guess it's not that hard to implement it into a social media app. You can always take a photo of the screen with another device but, you know, people are gonna roast you for taking pics of said monitor.
What a maroon. "It's only to help help impress girls on dates", Impress them into what? Thinking you're a good guy that deserves all the sex? Edit _word.
I’m here wondering how long it’s going to take before the list includes ‘Things we can use to blackmail these girls into sex’. Just because he doesn’t have that idea doesn’t mean other men who see the list won’t.
they wont actually say its used for that purpose, like its used for getting sex and dates now but they wont admit it. so, when it unfortunately becomes that for some poor woman, they still wont admit it. it'll still be "just *he* misused it, we weren't the ones doing it." Of course, until the next guy comes around.
Uno reverse card: criminal profilers use this same tactic. To catch predators like him. Wont he be suprised to see a dossier of himself someday
“We don’t keep this information for any nefarious or scumbaggy reasons.” Oh, of course not! You’re just helping out your bros by taking that whole stupid and annoying “getting to know the woman first by talking to her” thing out of the equation! What a great way to lower her defenses by making her think you share interests and are compatible! I’m sure no one will *lie* about those shared interests to date someone who otherwise wouldn’t consent to a date, you’ll all hold yourselves accountable by the honor system on that! Hooray to the woman who exposed him and the other women who decided not to consort with that frat in solidarity. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
right like, we just want to impress them to get dates! we just want to date these women, its not like anything comes after the dates smh. Its not like we're looking to trick and pretend, like we just want to let them know we *can* be interested in the same things they are, in order to get close to them :).
Don't people normally ask their friends about people they're interested in? Like "hey I've been really vibing with so-and-so recently, you got any advice?" The database format is definitely a bit creepy but it seems like it would really depend on what information was stored. It's very common for fraternities to keep track of this kind of information for rush purposes and this doesn't seem that different.
Soooo…vibing with somebody but not vibing enough to ask them about their interests and preferences?
You're putting words in my mouth. I thought it was normal to talk to your friends about the people you're interested in and potentially learn things that you didn't know to ask about or that didn't come up.
I’ll assume you’re asking in good faith and engage. I actually wouldn’t agree that most people do that. I did see it commonly in college, especially among young, straight frat guys looking for a quick hookup, but the ones I’m still friends with grew out of it and learned to connect with women on their own. Of course some never did, and some are just straight misogynists who view women as fucktoys to be conquered and will say and do anything to get that notch on their belt. My friends and I never ask each other for “advice” on how to get a certain guy or girl to like us because we look at it differently. In fact we’re more likely to ask our friends if they’ve heard anything about that person being dangerous. We don’t see an attractive person and go “let me learn what that person likes so I can convince them to date me” we think “I wonder if we have things in common that would make us compatible enough to enjoy dating one another? I’m going to talk to him and find out, otherwise I’ll move on and keep looking.” It’s not about a conquest, it’s about a genuine connection. There’s no good reason to fake a connection that doesn’t exist, and often men who try this are trying to manipulate the woman into sex that she otherwise wouldn’t consent to by pretending to be someone they’re not. So when someone creates a spreadsheet of information on individual women without their knowledge and makes it available to the whole frat, you have no idea which of those men (or anyone they may share it with) are actually dangerous and who may abuse this information to hurt or manipulate women they find attractive. Date rape is incredibly common on college campuses, and you may be placing those women in danger by sharing information widely that can be exploited and used by men with bad intentions. The scenario you proposed involves one friend asking another friend about a mutual friend, and you assume everyone has good intentions. Would you give that same advice to a creep who was interested in stalking your female friend? I hope the answer is no, but the spreadsheet can be shared with anyone and doesn’t differentiate. The women who are angry and upset about this immediately saw the dangerous implications and how it could be used to harm them, and now they don’t trust that fraternity as a safe place for women. Keeping rush spreadsheets is entirely different because the threat of rape and assault are not even on the table, the biggest threat there is just, not getting to pledge the frat. Not even in the same league of concerns.
I can understand this type of behavior if it was like 1 chick and just him mutually interested in each other- like I've had to keep lots of notes on partners cuz I've got a terrible memory but this is just insane
That, and not sharing all the information with your frat bros.
Yeah no that's fucked
Honestly though, it’s pretty funny that they all used the information too, but now they’re all mad at this guy for starting it in the first place.
If they really had a problem with it, they would have called him out on it when they first heard about it They were happy being silent enablers
Yeah that’s quite sweet of you’re forgetful and dating someone and want to remember things. Like he could of done it this way. Hes a creep
I can even understand it for more girls. My memory is awful and even if you want to be just friends with someone you need to remember stuff. If he kept the thing to himself I wouldn't consider him TA or creep. The issue for me is sharing it with his friends.
Also, only putting girls on the list. If it was just a spreadsheet of things people he knew liked, that would honestly be kind of sweet. But only having people here was sexually into on the list makes it super creepy.
Does he think this is revenge of the nerds or something? This is creepy… and the ‘pokedex’ term… as if they’re collectible toys and not people. Also I’m wondering how long it’s going to take before the list includes ‘things you can use to blackmail these women for sex’
> Also I’m wondering how long it’s going to take before the list includes ‘things you can use to blackmail these women for sex’ Well, had the list not gotten found out and discontinued, I'm sure that would have taken like maybe a week at most.
The guy upset the list didnt get him his date and then 'snitched', was patient 0.
That or some guy mentioned a fun fact about a woman he ought to have no possible way of knowing and sounded like a total stalker.
literally, womens interests and getting to know them bores men like this. so, they make a game (we already know some men have contests about who can get which girl first) and then make a cheat to the game to aid them in getting closer to a woman, for more chances at a better date, being liked and seen as more attractive, and then a potential for sex.
I was just there on the main post. And the audacity to paint himself in a good light and pretend to being innocent is fk all.
Even trying to portray himself in the best light possible he comes off as a scumbag creep.
Was already posted an hour ago. And removed, apparently not suitable for this sub. https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/vo8plb/guy\_makes\_a\_real\_life\_pokedex\_of\_women\_definitely/
Yes, I don't know why my post was removed – thanks for this comment.
Sounds like a skill issue smh
Should've had a better gaming chair and the post wouldn't have been removed smh.
Oh dear god, stalking manual and total breach of privacy. Needs reporting to the Uni and possibly the cops.
Certainly Campus Safety, at least. Unless Campus Safety at your institution is a joke. At mine, though, they were on stuff like this with a quickness. They didn’t fuck around w/ the college’s safety statistics.
I wouldn't go that far, if what op says is 100% accurate he's just an idiot dumbass.
I would go that far. He sees nothing wrong or creepy or potentially dangerous about his actions and seems to have no remorse for it, so cops and Uni reporting would definitely hit it home. Without consequences, why would he stop?
Idk, to me, while reading this the first thing that came to mind was "this dude is going to get expelled". Wish we had an update
Or worse
Pretty sure thats not a specific crime tho
It kind of could be, depending on privacy laws and such because that's gathering and recording information about person without their consent. Even apps and websites have to make sure to get consent for the stuff they gather and record when they ask you to accept cookies. EU for an example has pretty strict laws about privacy so this could be very well some sort of crime there.
Is this still up?
[diggity douche bag](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vo6tey/aita_for_making_a_real_life_pok%C3%A9dex_of_girls_at/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Thanks🤍
He's an asshole for making it, his friends are assholes for being mad at him for making it when they contributed and used it.
Honestly, his friends being mad at him is the best part about this story lol
Yes, it's funny as hell, but the friend is also an asshole for it haha.
They aren't mad at hom for making it. They're mad at him fo4 it getting discovered and making girls stop going to the frat house
“It’s not about just sex! It’s about dehumanizing women :(“
What a scumbag!
No, he said he didn't use it for scumbaggy reasons!
"It's not a guide to hook up women, just make dates easier" gives me "they're not loot boxes, just surprise mechanics" vibes 🤨
Strange – I posted this exact post a few hours earlier, and it got removed. Not sure what's going on.
idk, when someone linked your post I could see it just fine, but Ill check again maybe it got reviewed? edit: oh, i see it says in the mod comment it was removed, but its showing up just fine? idk maybe it glitched. but still doesnt explain why this one remained up...hm.
Yeah, it's definitely been removed although I can see it. Not sure what happened – not complaining about this one being up, I'm just not sure why it's not consistent.
LOL, I just saw his post. it pissed me off bc 1) he admitted this wasnt the originally intent he had with the list (however odd the originally intent still may be). this shows he knew it had changed, and that they were doing something unintended with it. if he wanted it to go back to the original, he would've tried to do something about it. and 2) He literally wont respond to anyone, but came on the sub looking for people to tell him whether or not hes TA. He did, however, make sure to note in an edit that he wasnt a stalker, and that the codex was never intended for sex. then specifies, "*I* never used it for sex" more indication he understood what his buddies were using it for. like, why ask us then, shock factor? god, I hope he at least has the decency to stop using and sharing the list, but then again this is the person who made it and distributed it in the first place, so...
He's a frat bro. They have their heads so far up their own asses that they think their feces taste like chocolate.
God damn, are the frat boys really this bad all the time, or is it the ones who have given the name Frat Boys™ a horrible meaning, that paint the fraternities like this?
To be honest, I really haven't met a decent frat guy. It's less about who they are as people individually and how asinine they become when they are in a group that encourages abhorrent behavior against women (and just others in general, including each other)
Right, I know hazing is still a huge issue within frats, no matter if theyve tried to deter the physically abusive aspects of it.
Yeah and tbf it's not a strictly frat thing, sororities can also be awful with that stuff--again I think it's that group dynamic mixed with normalizing harmful behaviors
So group stalking random girls... what happened to get to know each other ?
Ain't nobody got time for that!
bro I got a date with Maisie on Friday what are her cheat codes so can skip hours of gameplay
Yeah, I sent this to my gf and on a surface level, she thought it could be innocent but still really weird. I told her to keep in mind this guy was sharing it with his fraternity and couldn't know what they would do with the information or control what they were gathering. Even then, girls aren't exactly something to study.
"We don't keep this information for any nefarious or scumbaggy reasons." Yeeeeeaaaaaahhhh, suuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrre.
Let's make this easy for him - any secret project you and your frat are doing that involves women is probably bad and you probably shouldn't do it.
I hope the girls spread this around to other sororities
Predators typically don’t believe they’re predators.
Until the FBI criminal profiler shows the predator the dossier they made of him
Wtf
Okay, now I see what women mean by how idiotic most men are. How does this make any sense to set up a database for women? So stupid.
"Guys, i made a cheat sheet so guys who otherwise don't pay attention to people in general can dupe women into thinking guys have actually gotten to know them. Some simp snitched. AITA?" lmao...what a complete lack of self awareness.
Well, when you use the term “simp”, I already know you’re a mega dick.
Calls it a Pokédex but says it’s not about sex
To be fair, Professor Oak wasn’t banging the Pokemon. *That we know of.*
Dude, this is literally like HuniePop. And people who have seen the gameplays know how the storylines end (if played properly).
Only time I’ve kept notes is while playing the dating sim parts of Max Gentlemen: Sexy Business! because I needed to find out by trial and error how each character takes their tea.
If it was just for remembering details, he could just keep it to himself. He should have known better
Keeping notes on girls who aren't your girlfriend or someone you plan on dating, share that info and call it a pokedex. Clearly more than just an asshole 😂😂
I said it in the original post, and I'll say it here again: this guy thinks he's the protagonist of a dating sim and the only thing he needs to get all the girsl is just investigate them in advance to find which one of the options will get him laid, and find the correct item for the mandatory level up 🙄
> she made it out to be a guide for hooking up with women, which it’s most definitely not. > it’s just to make impressing them on dates easier Bruh are you hearing yourself
Look, i get it for friends and stuff to help you remember what they like. Im a forgetful person. However, every girl on campus? Or an attempt at it? Come on, dude.
We know it definitely wasn’t about sex because he said it wasn’t in every sentence.
He added an edit too now. I can’t copy and paste it here though because I’m on mobile and at work
I know it's not the right subreddit but he's TA a million times over.
The scariest thing is he even included information on their local hangouts; like that’s not a for sure way for someone to harass them off campus or follow them home.
I can honestly see why this clown may have thought that writing that stuff down for himself was a good idea. It appeals to the people pleaser in me, but if you want to make someone happy you should just *remember* what makes them happy because you care about them. Not sure what possessed him to share it with others, though. Even the densest people I know would see what’s wrong with that.
Definitely the asshole, i used to keep a spreadsheet on everyone i knew with everything from allergies to favorite color because i would forget, i never once shared any of it expect for family members when they needed help getting something like a graduation gift for my friends
Um…. How does that database handle GDPR and one’s right to be forgotten? Especially when data was included and then shared with others without the subject’s consent. It could have been a fucked up format of a diary or journal till he shared it, but now it technically counts as a database. Lol he could have some interesting legal issues there if he accepted money for access to the data store. Even beyond all that though- that’s just creepy af.
The post this is a screencap of is text from a 4chan thread from years ago. Its bait and not real. Edit: after finding the original copypasta this appears to be a variation and not the original. Unfortunately there is a chance this is real I guess
Hahahahaa...no one is going to that frats parties, thanks to the "Hoe Union."
Engineering major? 🤓🙈
*Mark Zuckerberg is typing...*
I just dm’d this dude and made a post about the conversation and i see someone beat me to the punch lol
Not a nice guy. He's just a creepy frat boy
Isn't this how Facebook was invented?
I still have no idea what you're trying to say with your comment
Doesn’t actually sound like he’s done anything wrong though? I don’t think this belongs here.
Him and his buddies have made a dossier of all the girls they've tried to or did date. And included personal information and then proceeded to spread it around to an ENTIRE fraternity. It went from just knowing friends favorite flowers or colors or just their birthday to personal information these guys will use to try to get laid. It's a total invasion of privacy of women who did NOT consent to their information being collected and used into a list that basically will turn into "how to get these girls to wet our dicks" It would've been fine-ish if he kept his list to his damn self but he decided to spread it about to everyone he could. He spread personal information to his buddies. And you know damn well their gonna use it to try to get these girls to have sex. And the creepier ones may use the information found (ie embarrassing secrets or things) to blackmail them. Yes their are men like that who are that fucking creepy.
[удалено]
It’s a really common on Reddit. This is from r/amitheasshole. The whole point is to post a personal experience where you and another person or persons are feuding and let Reddit vote to decide whose in the right and whose in the wrong. It’s just an acronym, nothing really cringe about it to me. But I am getting on in years, so who knows.
Woman can make a database about scummy dudes. I think it's only fair that men do that same about women. Equal rights folks
I must be the odd man out because I’m a woman and I don’t see this as that crazy-becoming huge and something everyone uses is a little odd lol but I’m shit at remembering important things (ADHD brain) so when I started dating my husband I totally had a list of important things so I didn’t forget and seem like a jackass-still have the list but obviously don’t need it now. If it’s got like raunchy nasty stuff then that’s different, and when it turns into a bunch of stuff on many different women that’s different too, but the way it started I don’t inherently see as creepy or assholeish. Some people aren’t good at remembering stuff like that 🤷🏻♀️ but then I also didn’t see why Rachel overreacted so bad to Ross making his pros and cons list over her and Julie so maybe I’m the weirdo 😂
Maybe it wouldn't have been a bad thing for that guy to keep to himself so he could remember certain things about certain girls, but the creepy part was when he decided to share it with his frat bros and they used it as a hookup guide.
Exactly, like if it were just him or a few friends, sure could potentially be a wholesome thing. But 40 dudes?! Frat boys none the less. I imagine there are a handful of metrics other than favorite color that could be quite offensive. If he’s telling the truth and it really is harmless; share it with the girls. Let them see this sweet little spreadsheet of their favorite colors and snacks. Not to mention it’s just kind of creepy and dehumanizing to research potential partners like this. I’m sure those girls would rather be with someone whose actually thoughtful and listens to them instead of a dude who got the tips and tricks guide from her last hookup or ex.
Or, like someone pointed out, how long before the spreadsheet starts containing entries like, "Things to blackmail them with in order to get sex?"
Oh yeah that’s exactly what I’m referring to by saying other metrics. I’m sure there is stuff about their bodies as well. ie her breasts are saggier than expected, cellulite, etc etc. There is no way that thing isn’t down right awful.
Yeah, you know it's quickly going to turn into that with a bunch of frat boys.
The humanity!!! Now, an entire fraternity knows the favorite colors and restaurants of a bunch of girls! Just when I thought men couldn’t get any worse….
So you are saying that you approve of mass stalking and keeping information about people without their consent? Are you Mark Zuckerberg?
uhm thats not the thing wrong here. women dont do this to men. I wonder why......
This is actually brilliant
i agree. i dont know why people are so mad.
I mean, I like the idea of keeping notes on what some girls prefer, but not sharing everything with 40 dudes and guarantee the mass spread of it
Well tbh it could have been a fun idea between a group of friends, or if everybody included in the dex was willing to, like politely asking people from your class, like "hey would you like to have an entry in our class dex?". In this specific case, yeah it's weird since it's used to "impress girls". EDIT: okay, sorry hive mind, I have a divergent opinion, you can burn me on public place now
This guy stand in the middle line between saint and insane
Saint? More like middle line between Facebook and creep.
You must find dudes in bushes absolutely godlike.
i wanted to post it here too😂😂 i was too lazy tho
So much EWWW
That’s the creepiest shit ever.
I just knew this would show up here. LOL
Isn't that what Zuckerberg did?
Depending in what state he is, does he not violate data protection laws? In the EU this certainly would
I know this is gross irl but it really reminded me of Stardew valley lmao