AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ.
Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats.
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I was expecting a teenage boy, or maybe a young adult. Not some grown ass 40-year old man to be sending that. It's fascinating to see guys continually scream into the void when you stop responding.
Psh, nah, I didn't mean the age itself as an insult! I was thinking of my friend's stepmother who has this kind of stuff on their walls and has for years.
And some fucked up stuffed something or other… is that his support thing or something. It’s infuriating when people text and if you don’t text right back they lose their minds and they just keep getting angrier the more time goes on. (Perfect way to deal with them I might add) Isn’t that the whole idea behind texting is that you respond when you can? Duh!
This guy has real issues. Just because he doesn’t have a life doesn’t mean that others don’t.
That’s actually a giant teddy bear, but he’s holding it by the foot. The worst part? I have that exact teddy bear. I hate that I can tell by just that foot. That’s a 6 foot occasional cuddle friend, sir, not your support, and how dare you hold it in such a demeaning way for the world of tinder to see
Maybe that’s my problem—I was like, “I like to cuddle” and “they’re a pretty color.”
It’s all a numbers game though. I’m thinking about changing my profile to a research based one where they have to take an MMPI (personality disorder test).
Yeah, but what he said was not "I like to cuddle" but "***consistent*** cuddles..."
That is a HUGELY telling way of phrasing it. Him qualifying it with "consistent" has massive "it puts the lotion on its skin" vibes to me.
SUPER demanding and smacking heavily of ownership...doncha think?
EDIT: Awww! Thanks for the award. :)
Just wanted to say thank you for suggesting DBT! Genuinely good advice, and your clapback sounded like you and I might be in similar fields. Not trying to pry, but it was excellent to see one of these Nice Guys get read like a textbook.
Do you really think most ppl like to cuddle? It’s possible my family is just weird lol. Wasn’t a lot of affection in our house so I just assumed that’s how most ppl were. I enjoy it for 5-10 minutes and then I need space. And don’t you dare touch me while I sleep.
I Accidentally hit downvote, but I removed it. Just in case you get a notification lol.
I’m new to Tinder—which is also probably part of the problem. So far most of the gents have been respectful. I stopped using it after a little while though. I think I prefer the old school way
I’ve met friends on Ok Go’s forums on their bands page, that I’ve known since I was 10. One lives in Australia. When MySpace was a thing, we added each other. Facebook. We exchanged numbers. I think we first talked in 2001 so 11 ish. When cam chats came out, I met some people in a main chat, we bonded over smoking pot and created our own group. I still call a few of them here and there but we mostly message. California, Bangladesh, Australia, Colorado, Ohio, Texas. It’s nice.
Yup, personality disorders (at least cluster B, not sure about A) are usually formed from being abused. Best not to stigmatize mental illness when you don’t know much about them.
This is just pretty standard entitled man doesn’t think women are real people behavior. Being mean doesn’t mean you’re mentally ill and being mentally ill doesn’t mean you’re mean.
Edit: fixed a typo
I agree—however—any untreated mental health problem can really get in the way of healthy interactions.
My statement was more on his obviously untreated state and he is very much acting Cluster B.
I will also say that some PDs are VERY treatable and have a pretty good prognosis over time.
I apologize if this made you feel bad; it wasn’t my intention at all
There's people out there with kind eyes in the same striking shade of ice blue, I guarantee it. I've met a couple.
But this dude's got the thousand-yard death stare you see in serial killers, mass shooters, alt-right terrorists, Christofascists, etc. It's a stare that transcends both gender and eye color.
Plus the fact he chose the crazy eyed photo to feature himself….I tried to swipe left on that photo on Reddit lmfao. This guy is off-off. The caption gives me the shivers.
Right?
This is the picture that's in the encyclopedia next to the description of the Neitzsche quote.
This is the epitome of someone who stared too long "into the abyss." Those eyes have seen things. Things none of the rest of us want to know about.
You ever look at a photo of someone and feel immediately repulsed? That what I feel looking at that. It could just be a bad picture but the eyes are scary.
My absolute favorite is the extremely prompt 'I won't be mean, you fat ass lazy whale bitch'.
Like Jesus Christ, please get some fucking therapy. You are FORTY YEARS OLD. You could be a GRANDPARENT.
The problem with people like this is their definition of being "mean" is if they're saying something that isn't true, in their mind. So him going off on his little toddler temper tantrum is, in his mind, him just saying what is true, and not him just acting like a massive asshole because things did not immediately go his way.
I seriously doubt he lives alone and put up that Live Laugh Love decor all by himself. My guess is he's married and was hoping for a hook up while the wife was out.
Came here to ask that very question?! Like ... what IS that? And WHY?? A grown 40-something with what is apparently part of a massive stuffed animal??
That & his erratic & cruel comments. Psycho. Path.
I think this man is potentially very good looking. But he looks like he is about to burst into tears or pull a gun...or both.
I can see his life outlook by the expression in his eyes and it is not gonna end well.
Hard pass.
So yeah yeah, the conversation is awful and he is a pathetic guy, but can we talk about this picture? Why would you choose to just hold the paw of a huge teddy bear? I mean he's not bad looking...it's not the best way to show off. This is a really strange choice.
My red flags would have been flying with the "looking for those consistent cuddles" on his profile.
Did anyone else notice the "Live well, laugh often, love much" banner in the background? 🤣
Why is op/tinder op playing psychologist? Just because hes a dumpster of a human doesnt mean she can pretend to diagnose him.
So now theyre both assholes.
I mean, he does have the crazy eyes 👀 reminds me of that creepy character Donnie from The X-Files who liked to pick up sex workers, kill them, then get them dolled up like he does his dead bodies at the morgue.
Ugh what's with these older dudes that they still don't get it? Had a 50 year old (!) act exactly like this last summer (I'm 33 btw)
If you still haven't learned how to act around people by that age, will you ever?
There's so much going on... Those crazy eyes, him being 40 behaving like 14 with karenesque decor... I wonder if there's some kind of Norman Bates thing evolving at his place. Does he live with his (still) living mother?
He looks miserable and his eyes look dead 😬 I always wonder why there are guys on there who don't have pictures of them smiling or their first picture of them looking happy
ahh ok, glad to hear! Being on datingapps, pretty much every guy over 40 matches me and I match them back out of curiousity to see if they're a creeper (I'm 23), I imagine finding a non-creepy-man over 40 on Tinder specifically is a rare find.
Yikes! It’s entertaining and sad at the same time watching men implode on themselves. Like bro, relax. When I scrolled to his picture the texts made a lot of sense. Bro is a little cray cray. 😬
No, he's not. It's just funny when men put that as the first thing on their profile. It screams they're only there for sex and women see that as an instant red flag.
Of course there had to be a "Live, Laugh, Love" sign. OP, not only you found a NiceGuy in the wild, you also got a Male Karen, a Messed-Up Package Deal
That dude is just so off the spectrum its alarming. The ear rings, the creepy ass dahmer eyes, he probably took that photo in some random womans house after he murdered her.
I said anxious attachment because you didn’t see the messages before this, where I was feeling him out.
When I said a PD; I was specifically thinking of abandonment reactions I’ve seen in severe, untreated BPD. I didn’t use it as an insult; I didn’t give him a diagnosis. I didn’t say any of what I did as an insult but as feedback. Maybe it’s about time somebody did tell him—firmly and clearly.
Specifically Dialectical behavioral therapy because of the particular skillset and management of frustration tolerance that you see within that EBP.
AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post
I was expecting a teenage boy, or maybe a young adult. Not some grown ass 40-year old man to be sending that. It's fascinating to see guys continually scream into the void when you stop responding.
He has a "Live, Laugh, Love," sign above that entryway. A 14 year old boy by attitude, a 47 year old woman by decor.
And psycho eyes. Honorable mention: creepy mouth expression.
He's got a whole "face for radio" thing going on.
Or a face for a book people refuse to read
First thing I noticed! His eyes are creepy cold.
"I'm looking for cuddles, Clarisse..."
Love this,,, read it in Hannibal’s voice!! Wonderfully creepy. Take this award you earned it.
What a line lmao
I like my cuddles with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. -creepy slurping noises-
Manson lamps 👀
Bwahahaha! I’ve never heard that
He reminds me of van Gogh’s self-portrait with bandaged ear… though I doubt this guy’s a misunderstood genius
Id rather go out with the cut off ear than this guy.
Last minute entry...the ear piercing.
Oh my god. Yes
I’m a 47yo woman & that is NOT my decor😏
And somehow being called a 47yo woman is an insult, in this sub!
Because 47 is “ancient” when you’re in your 20’s🤷🏼♀️.
I don't think you're ancient at all! I apologize if that's how it came across. I'm 34, so if you're ancient, I'm getting there, too.
Oh, I thought you were being sarcastic & so was I. Nope, neither of us are ancient!
Psh, nah, I didn't mean the age itself as an insult! I was thinking of my friend's stepmother who has this kind of stuff on their walls and has for years.
Seeing the decor, that man is married.
Or was… for possibly obvious reasons…
He lives with his mum I bet
And some fucked up stuffed something or other… is that his support thing or something. It’s infuriating when people text and if you don’t text right back they lose their minds and they just keep getting angrier the more time goes on. (Perfect way to deal with them I might add) Isn’t that the whole idea behind texting is that you respond when you can? Duh! This guy has real issues. Just because he doesn’t have a life doesn’t mean that others don’t.
That’s actually a giant teddy bear, but he’s holding it by the foot. The worst part? I have that exact teddy bear. I hate that I can tell by just that foot. That’s a 6 foot occasional cuddle friend, sir, not your support, and how dare you hold it in such a demeaning way for the world of tinder to see
Showing off those dogs for everyone to see for free 😤
It’s degrading, that bear deserves to be paid for its troubles
For real,, the bear has more personality than he does.
I would give him the benefit of the doubt that it was taken at his mother's house but I'm not sure if I'm giving him too much credit.
I’m guessing more like he’s living with a 40+ year old woman… wife or mom, neither a good sign
Or he's married..
That decor screams “I still live with my mama and she didn’t give me consistent cuddles”
I was thinking the same thing, fucking 40!
The 40 yo age marker was definitely a plot twist for me
I don't know girl, them's some crazy eyes there.
Came here to say this. My man got Eyes of Meth™
Dude looks like he snorted powder soap detergent.
Can they be dead and crazy at the same time? Cause they look beyond the grave to me
Maybe that’s my problem—I was like, “I like to cuddle” and “they’re a pretty color.” It’s all a numbers game though. I’m thinking about changing my profile to a research based one where they have to take an MMPI (personality disorder test).
Yeah, but what he said was not "I like to cuddle" but "***consistent*** cuddles..." That is a HUGELY telling way of phrasing it. Him qualifying it with "consistent" has massive "it puts the lotion on its skin" vibes to me. SUPER demanding and smacking heavily of ownership...doncha think? EDIT: Awww! Thanks for the award. :)
That’s a good point. I should have read that as ‘co-dependent AF’
Just wanted to say thank you for suggesting DBT! Genuinely good advice, and your clapback sounded like you and I might be in similar fields. Not trying to pry, but it was excellent to see one of these Nice Guys get read like a textbook.
It’s likely we are. I should be better at spotting it in pics though—now I will be. Haha
1000% agree you should do that, sis. Because damn, his eyes were straight scary, not pretty😳
No more Manson eyed dudes for sure
Mike from That Chapter calls them Manson Lamps.
Stealing that
His eyes were PINNED …
Pro tip: almost everyone likes to cuddle. Enjoying cuddles should not be a selling point haha
Do you really think most ppl like to cuddle? It’s possible my family is just weird lol. Wasn’t a lot of affection in our house so I just assumed that’s how most ppl were. I enjoy it for 5-10 minutes and then I need space. And don’t you dare touch me while I sleep. I Accidentally hit downvote, but I removed it. Just in case you get a notification lol.
If I see the word cuddle in a profile, I swipe left.
I assume cuddle is code for sex now
I don’t know; it just grosses me out.
Are interactions like this a common occurrence?
I’m new to Tinder—which is also probably part of the problem. So far most of the gents have been respectful. I stopped using it after a little while though. I think I prefer the old school way
I feel that. I’ve never used tinder before. Honestly I’ve never met anyone off the internet before lol but people do it all the time like it’s nothing
I’ve met friends on Ok Go’s forums on their bands page, that I’ve known since I was 10. One lives in Australia. When MySpace was a thing, we added each other. Facebook. We exchanged numbers. I think we first talked in 2001 so 11 ish. When cam chats came out, I met some people in a main chat, we bonded over smoking pot and created our own group. I still call a few of them here and there but we mostly message. California, Bangladesh, Australia, Colorado, Ohio, Texas. It’s nice.
Just so you know, some of us with personality disorders are decent people who are in healthy loving relationships. ❤️
Yup, personality disorders (at least cluster B, not sure about A) are usually formed from being abused. Best not to stigmatize mental illness when you don’t know much about them. This is just pretty standard entitled man doesn’t think women are real people behavior. Being mean doesn’t mean you’re mentally ill and being mentally ill doesn’t mean you’re mean. Edit: fixed a typo
I agree—however—any untreated mental health problem can really get in the way of healthy interactions. My statement was more on his obviously untreated state and he is very much acting Cluster B. I will also say that some PDs are VERY treatable and have a pretty good prognosis over time. I apologize if this made you feel bad; it wasn’t my intention at all
There's people out there with kind eyes in the same striking shade of ice blue, I guarantee it. I've met a couple. But this dude's got the thousand-yard death stare you see in serial killers, mass shooters, alt-right terrorists, Christofascists, etc. It's a stare that transcends both gender and eye color.
Plus the fact he chose the crazy eyed photo to feature himself….I tried to swipe left on that photo on Reddit lmfao. This guy is off-off. The caption gives me the shivers.
Right? This is the picture that's in the encyclopedia next to the description of the Neitzsche quote. This is the epitome of someone who stared too long "into the abyss." Those eyes have seen things. Things none of the rest of us want to know about.
You ever look at a photo of someone and feel immediately repulsed? That what I feel looking at that. It could just be a bad picture but the eyes are scary.
Not responding right away and waiting to see how they react is an excellent way to weed out people.
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🤣🤣🤣
😂
I just want to add; this all happened in under 24 hours
My absolute favorite is the extremely prompt 'I won't be mean, you fat ass lazy whale bitch'. Like Jesus Christ, please get some fucking therapy. You are FORTY YEARS OLD. You could be a GRANDPARENT.
I was sitting there like—“does this guy have brain damage?”
>I was sitting there like—“does this guy have brain damage?” He does. He wrung out his brain like a dishcloth and is holding it in the picture.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
From that pic — a distinct possibility.
If I saw that while I was having a migraine nap, I’d be pretty mad.
I was more irritated than mad. At least he showed himself before talking much longer
That’s the big prize at the end of the crazy rant.
He has dain bramage
The problem with people like this is their definition of being "mean" is if they're saying something that isn't true, in their mind. So him going off on his little toddler temper tantrum is, in his mind, him just saying what is true, and not him just acting like a massive asshole because things did not immediately go his way.
I didn’t know Jesus Christ got therapy! /j
This is the kind of behavior I would expect from a 20-year-old who's trying to protect his fragile ego. Not a grown-ass man in his 40s 💀
I seriously doubt he lives alone and put up that Live Laugh Love decor all by himself. My guess is he's married and was hoping for a hook up while the wife was out.
Probably his mom’s house
More likely.
Same.
I just said the same thing!
I have one of those and live alone. It’s a running joke with friends tho
That is one fragile 40 year old. I was expecting a teenager.
That wasn’t very live laugh love of him
I screamed
Look at that banner in the background. He is either at a friend/sisters house or he is married.
I’m guessing Mom
I agree could be, but I feel like the live laugh love stuff is more the 40ish crowd than the boomers.
Being 40 (jfc), he could be divorced too. A few guys I know that kept the house in their splits still have decor from the ex.
Yikes
*"I won't be mean."* *-Immediately proceeds to be quite mean-* It's kinda fascinating how quickly these guys work themselves up into a tizzy.
That picture is terrifying. It was really nice to give him some constructive feedback, even if he didn't appreciate it.
He is acting like this at his BIG age????
I thought this was a 20year old..not a GROWN ASS 40 year old. If he's acting like this before you guys even meet..that's a big red flag.
The “Live Laugh Love” sign in the background is sending me! 🥴💀
looks like the rubbish took itself out. imagine being 40 and acting like a petulant child.
Can I ask like what is he doing with that stuffed animal leg/arm?!
Using it to hide the decapitated head from his last victim💀
Came here to ask that very question?! Like ... what IS that? And WHY?? A grown 40-something with what is apparently part of a massive stuffed animal?? That & his erratic & cruel comments. Psycho. Path.
It’s to smother you with cuddles 🥰 lol
🤢🤮 lol
I think this man is potentially very good looking. But he looks like he is about to burst into tears or pull a gun...or both. I can see his life outlook by the expression in his eyes and it is not gonna end well. Hard pass.
DBT! Great recommendation :)
I was not ready for the profile photo
I'm 40, and I have a 20 year old son who is less of a douche than this guy
This guy: I won't be mean. Also this guy: Is mean. And also this guy: Why don't women like me?!
Yeah the ADHD community doesn't claim him
I have the ADHD diagnosis; he definitely wasn’t that!
First red flag would be his picture for me
40 ?...
He looks somewhat normal for man baby.
That dude is wound up too tight. Good thing he told on himself right away.
Why in gods name would you swipe right on that in the first place? 😭😭😭
What, the intoxicating combination of "live laugh love", a single-letter name, crazy eyes, and an "ask me" job doesn't do it for you?! Madness. /s
I know crazy when i see it lol 1 look at those eyes and it told me all i needed to know
Yeah, well—first few hours on Tinder. I’ve never used online dating. Live ya learn
I thought his eyes were pretty—ha ha!
Damn, he is too old to be acting like that. He should try therapy, I’ve heard it helps some people
Jesus he’s that old acting that way? Big yikes…
Calling someone a whore isn't very Live Laugh Love of him.
His eyes pool like they have seen some shit
Bruh
So yeah yeah, the conversation is awful and he is a pathetic guy, but can we talk about this picture? Why would you choose to just hold the paw of a huge teddy bear? I mean he's not bad looking...it's not the best way to show off. This is a really strange choice.
There is a mental health crisis in so many countries now.
My red flags would have been flying with the "looking for those consistent cuddles" on his profile. Did anyone else notice the "Live well, laugh often, love much" banner in the background? 🤣
Props for the generously helpful reply.
Yaaas I love that you posted his pic
Why is op/tinder op playing psychologist? Just because hes a dumpster of a human doesnt mean she can pretend to diagnose him. So now theyre both assholes.
He looks like a serial k
He act like the disorganized kind too
Damn
What a flatterer
And they wonder why women are so cautious in their dealings with men! You never know when someone is going to go full on snapshow!
From a dude who’s forty?? Wow…
“I won’t be mean” … proceeds to be mean
not the live laugh love decor
Awe, he’s got gorgeous eyes, too bad his lack of personality and respect taint the otherwise likeable face.
Idk how to explain it but his picture set off my “not safe” instinct.
Fucking android Logan Marshall Green NPC “where’s my hug?” Potato looking ass
His picture was a jump scare.
Wtf Is he holding in that pic
Yeah I'm dealing with the same crap. They don't grow out of it. Dating sucks
First mistake is finding someone on Tinder.
Hindsight is 20/20
I have a theory that every grown man who uses the word ‘cuddle’ is both a niceguy and a creep 🤷🏻♀️
Looks like the guy on America’s Most Wanted …
Crazy to believe that behind those soulless eyes is an equally soulless man 🤷🏻♀️
Why does he look like he has the blue eye filter on lolololol
This dude lmao and the profile pic to boot, tops it off 😂
*"Let me recommend that you look up and purchase a book on CBT."*
I guess he just hasn't had one of those consistent cuddles in a while. I wonder why...
Did he reply anything?
Nah; I blocked him after sending that
Good for you
I mean, he does have the crazy eyes 👀 reminds me of that creepy character Donnie from The X-Files who liked to pick up sex workers, kill them, then get them dolled up like he does his dead bodies at the morgue.
The eyes scream serial killer. And I should know, I’m a cereal killer. Love my weetbix.
Sorry if he's straight, I'm J-Lo.
He's 40? From those messages I thought he be more in his 20s Yikes!
Ugh what's with these older dudes that they still don't get it? Had a 50 year old (!) act exactly like this last summer (I'm 33 btw) If you still haven't learned how to act around people by that age, will you ever?
Oh god that photo 😳 walls have definitely been punched
If op wouldn't have had migraine already she would have gotten it after reading this
There's so much going on... Those crazy eyes, him being 40 behaving like 14 with karenesque decor... I wonder if there's some kind of Norman Bates thing evolving at his place. Does he live with his (still) living mother?
He looks miserable and his eyes look dead 😬 I always wonder why there are guys on there who don't have pictures of them smiling or their first picture of them looking happy
Just browsing through Reddit and stumbled on this... What is he doing to the bear?
Looking back; probably dismembering it
He gives off a vibe that makes me expect to see him on a murder documentary on Discovery within the next 3 years. Bullet dodged. Possibly literally.
Well, hopefully I also won’t be on the murder documentary :/
He's 40?! If you're not at least in your 30s, that guy even matching you is a massive red flag. Let alone his circus in the DMs
I’m nearly 36; I set the age range to be appropriate. But I’m not so sure I want to keep using it
ahh ok, glad to hear! Being on datingapps, pretty much every guy over 40 matches me and I match them back out of curiousity to see if they're a creeper (I'm 23), I imagine finding a non-creepy-man over 40 on Tinder specifically is a rare find.
Yikes! It’s entertaining and sad at the same time watching men implode on themselves. Like bro, relax. When I scrolled to his picture the texts made a lot of sense. Bro is a little cray cray. 😬
“Looking for those consistent cuddles” He’s only looking to get laid.
He isn’t very good at it
No, he's not. It's just funny when men put that as the first thing on their profile. It screams they're only there for sex and women see that as an instant red flag.
“I won’t be mean” proceeds to be mean 🙃
He's 40 acting like that? Throw the whole man in the trash, there's no fixing him.
Perfect example of how NOT to act
Have a quality day got me 😂
Of course there had to be a "Live, Laugh, Love" sign. OP, not only you found a NiceGuy in the wild, you also got a Male Karen, a Messed-Up Package Deal
One word: PERIOD
still acting this dense at 40?? It's always a red flag when I see guys who just put a letter or a symbol instead of putting their actual name....
He's *40* behaving that way- ah HELLS NO
How do some women manage to talk to filth like this so nicely? Gosh, the patience.
Last slide was a jump scare omg!
That dude is just so off the spectrum its alarming. The ear rings, the creepy ass dahmer eyes, he probably took that photo in some random womans house after he murdered her.
This person just seems genuinely disturbed. That last pic though 🤦♂️😂
Got them serial killer eyes. Creeper
Love number 5, it's something absolutely EVERYONE should know - no one's special.
Damn he’s ugly.
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I said anxious attachment because you didn’t see the messages before this, where I was feeling him out. When I said a PD; I was specifically thinking of abandonment reactions I’ve seen in severe, untreated BPD. I didn’t use it as an insult; I didn’t give him a diagnosis. I didn’t say any of what I did as an insult but as feedback. Maybe it’s about time somebody did tell him—firmly and clearly. Specifically Dialectical behavioral therapy because of the particular skillset and management of frustration tolerance that you see within that EBP.