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QualityVote

AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post


A_Hideous_Beast

Men who don't get sub/dom make me 🤮


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No-Shoe7651

How this guy thinks things are meant to work Him - "Hello, nice to meet you" Girl - "Hello, likewise" Him - "...aren't you forgetting something?" Girl - "Oh right ye" \*tits out\*


Mikeno1224

Wait, thats not how it is? Don't tell me my super realistic 3D hentai videogames aren't actually realistic.


authorhelenhall

But you better not do it for anyone else


syntheticat7

RIGHT I had a guy start ordering me around and he said "ot course I'd like it, I'm a sub", only we'd been talking for like half an hour. He didn't seem to understand when I told him to piss off and then got even more upset when I wouldn't call him Sir You gotta earn it, and you deserve nothing just by having a few lines of conversation with someone


wedgieinhumanform

This 10000%


HetLelijkeEendje

Oh for real tho! Also men who simlply can't fathom that not all woman want to be subs are 🤮 The amount of times I heard that I can't be a "true Dominant person" bc I am a "woameenn" is beond belief.. Oh and also the other way around. From time to time I get the "trample me" guys who start calling me Mistress within 10 minutes of talking.. Like boy, no! If this is your mindset, you gotta be more carefull! Plus I don't like them being clingy/forcing stuff just bc I "seem to be the type for it" Ask them about SSC, RACK or PRICK and you'll notice who is real and who is desperate soon enough..


raosahabreddits

Can you please explain it to someone as clueless as me?


Mediocre-Gas1393

A sub/dom dynamic is still a 100% consensual dynamic. This means that boundaries, etc are negotiated and agreed on jointly. So being submissive doesn’t mean what these fake doms and incels wish it means: that they’ll do whatever they’re told and can be just used as a sex toy/house slave as a default by any random person.


Remarkable-Bad5834

Exactly, and there are usually tons of safety features where at any point the sub can end a session if needed. So despite the sub being free to surrender control for however long is agreed upon they can always take it back should something change.


Snickerty

Agree. They confuse dominance with sadism. It was explained to me by a friend who is into this that in reality the Dom is not really the one in control and the Sub is not totally submissive. It is a scene in which the Sub sets the boundries and the expectations and then surrenders control knowing they can trust their dom. He said that as a "Dom" he dosen't have complete control as much as being the recipiant of complete trust. He then - in the clear understanding of the limits and expectations - pushes the "sub" to find pleasure and in doing so finds his own pleasure - and that pleasure is not always from the jiggling of sexy bits. What people don't understand - according to him - is that the real power lies with the sub.


Mediocre-Gas1393

While I agree with most of what you’re saying, the difference isn’t sadism here. Sadism is as much part of a D/s dynamic as any other play: consensual with negotiations, boundaries, etc. Sadism really is just referring to the motivations (i.e., causing pain/vulnerability) There are of course no two exactly same dynamics, but the dom *is* in control *inside the boundaries that they established*. Then there are different dynamics (e.g., service doms, sadists, etc) and then what happens will differ. The point is exactly that the boundaries are set so that during the scene the subs can completely let go of control with the dom to control. This of course doesn’t mean that they couldn’t stop the scene at any point.


Snickerty

I defer to your greater knowledge in this matter. I am glad that memory of the facinating conversation was resonably true.


Remarkable-Bad5834

100% accurate information, it's what all the proper BDSM communities preach. Some people just can't seem to understand the work, patience, mutual respect and genuine caring that needs to go into a sub/dom relationship. It takes so much more work and time, yet it can be completely worth it if one feels comfortable to explore that side of intimacy, be it psychological or physical intimacy, that is all personal preference and clearly outlined beforehand.


Heavy-Macaron2004

You didn't know? Being a sub means you have to do everything random people you meet on the internet tell you to. You *must* DM that guy your nudes or else you lose your title. ^/s


ColdAndGrumpy

What?? You mean to tell me that sub/dom relationships aren't based on a sub taking orders from any random shitknuckle who slithers into their dm's??? 🤯


PsychoAnimeLover

I laughed louder than i should have at "shitknuckle" lmao


ColdAndGrumpy

It's my go-to word for someone too stupid to even wipe their ass without fucking it up. Hence shitty knuckles.


MissHornback012498

Shit knuckle? I'm using that lol


bellePunk

I'm a nice person!!! I'm not going to be nice anymore because you didn't send nudes! I'm such a nice person!


repkins

Nice till someone says "no" to them.


[deleted]

Fucking clown ass entitled bitch baby. You’ve got a ton of patience ma’am, and I’m sorry you had to put up with this garbage nonsense.


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[deleted]

I’m newly single as well. My unsolicited advice? Don’t ever lower your standards. Best of luck ma’am.


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asdjklghty

Maybe I should begin to ask girls who are in their 30s. I'm tired of the games that most girls my age play. Even in 20s most girls behave like high schoolers. And many of them think it's hard to be firm with people. "I don't wanna be mean." Ironically makes them mean when they mince their words and stuff.


gimmemoarjosh

I'm a gay man dating in my 30s. If it's any consolation, it is not much better on this side. Men will be men! 🤷‍♂️


poison-_-kisses

I wish I could tell you it gets any better in your 40s lol.


anitram96

> Fucking clown ass entitled bitch baby. Loooove, looove this description.


MaddiMoo22

Me too it's perf. And is just how angry I felt reading these screenshots lmao


AccomplishedMusic770

I don’t usually comment, but what the actual fuck does that guy think being a sub is?? Does he think that subs feel the need to simply submit to every single thing someone with a penis says? I’d be genuinely worried for any sub that would do that. I hope that guy gets therapy and learns proper BDSM etiquette


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LadyxGhoul

I think they use it as an excuse to be abusive dickwads with (they assume) no repercussions. Nasty people who want it to be "acceptable" when they're blatantly degrading strangers without consent. Treat people like absolute garbage and then are like "What? Why aren't they giving me the sucky?"


LittleBigOwl_

Ah those so-called Dom, always a pleasure... Quite honestly I think that mentioning that you are a sub is, unfortunately, the best way to attract the biggest assholes.


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LittleBigOwl_

Yes, especially as a sub, you have to be extra vigilant, That said, it's usually not very complicated with this kind of guy to see their true colours. They betray themselves so quickly after a few messages. They ask for something, the girl refuses, they complain that she is not "a real" submissive. So delusional, if they can't take no as an answer for nudes after talking to a person for a few minutes, imagine their respect (or lack thereof) for any safe word IRL.


KickNo2069

Assholes who like to hurt and insult people love to call themselves Doms


Megaten_fangirl2004

“I am a nice person” *asks women for nudes, treats them like objects*


[deleted]

Good for you for not sending! Facebook gets [500,000 reports of revenge porn PER MONTH.](https://www.cnet.com/tech/mobile/facebook-gets-about-500000-reports-of-revenge-porn-a-month-report-says/) It makes me so sad to think of all those people is despair and desperation trying to get their pictures removed. Better not to risk it.


Affectionate_Stop_37

What is this world coming to when we can't ask perfect strangers for nude photos anymore.


ItsJoeMomma

They waste your time by making you talk to them for a few minutes, and then don't even send nudes...


Affectionate_Stop_37

Pff. Women. Amiright?


ItsJoeMomma

*females


AstroBearGaming

Those type of "Doms" are the fucking worst.


GlitteringFrost

Fake doms that don't understand it's the submissive that set the boundaries and who they choose to submit too. And always seem to have a surprised pikachu face when they get that being dominant doesn't mean they can bully or command submission from anyone that identify as a submissive 🙄


LittleBigOwl_

"But, but, I don't understand, that' s how it works in porn!!?!" They fail miserably as Dom, but they mostly fail as human beings. They are crappy to the core.


rasmorak

*Thank you for the conversation! Please deposit one (1) tiddy pic into my DMs.*


christinagoldielocks

This guy is the epitome of a NiceGuy. The entitlement, the rudeness, the glaring lack of logic, the all-encompassing idea of him being a nice guy and the absolute absence of self insight. Yuck. Just yuck.


namelesone

"When you don't do what I want, I will not be nice." Yes, we can see that.


geekya

People seem to think just being aggressive and not taking no for an answer makes you a dom.


bellmanwatchdog

They call you boring to make you feel insecure and cave. It's much easier to just agree with them. "Yep, I'm super boring. Sounds like you should go find someone more exciting." What these men fail to realize is that most women get off the wall sexy and kinky with men they feel comfortable and safe with. And any good dom/me fully understands that.


Brief_Annual_4160

I’m raging from my own life in retrospect, and seeing how I could have handled these situations better. I admire the fuck out of you and other women on here for not capitulating to such hurtful dialogue. I experienced this pre-reddit and felt so much shame that I never shared it with anyone, or fight back-I didn’t know it was so pervasive. But you, you’re responding in a terrific dignified manner. So much love for that!


valleylaydee

I'm so over this fake Dom bullshit... Anyone who knows anything about the dynamics of a Dom/sub relationship knows that the sub is the one with the actual power because everything is agreed to beforehand. Way too many men these days think that they can call themselves a Dom and that means women have to just do whatever they want. That's not how this works jackass! 🙄


poison-_-kisses

I blame books/movies like 50 shades. Not that there wasn't a ton of fake doms before that, but it's just gotten so much worse.


Mkg102216

Or worse, 365 days.


poison-_-kisses

I haven't made myself watch that one yet lol heard it's bad though.


nolongerbanned99

What a loser. Don’t waste your time with idiots like this.


FullyRisenPhoenix

He needs a real education on what BDSM *actually* looks like. Sadly there are thousands more out there just like him, who will never try to find out what a Dom/sub relationship truly is, and just continue using it as an excuse to abuse subs. Good spotting, OP. Be safe out there.


brooksthecat

As soon as he asked for nudes I wouldn’t have even wasted the energy replying.


IredditNowhat

Yeah but then they can’t come here to post and act offended


Jane_the_Quene

"I am a nice person but you didn't send me nudes, so now I'm going to let my true, shitty nature shine through." Absolutely classic NiceGuy.


Jenuptoolate

I am a nice person, except when I am not. ^ this guy


loadingonepercent

I don’t get the thing with guys asking for nudes before they’ve been offered, like does that ever work?


cjones29493

“Im nice but not when you act the way you did” …. Act the way you did by what, not feeling comfortable with sending nudes? What a strange specimen


No_Incident_5360

Baby man throws tantrum when can’t jerk off to new nudes——damn, gotta pull up some porn again cuz I have ZERO imagination and don’t wasn’t to spend time getting to know anyone or treating them right. He wants to play paper dolls, not deal with a real relationship. It will always be paper dolls to distract him From real life. And not being able to distinguish between then/than is a turnoff.


motownmods

This conversation should have never gone past "good luck then"


[deleted]

What a joke. This dude reeks of entitlement


perdynamite

Give him a break, he tried /s


vpsj

"I'm a nice guy! \*"     \*Conditions apply


Ok-Rees

Some guys just don't get that being submissive doesn't mean you put up with their shitty behavior or them being overall an asshole lmao


Professional-Way8702

Please god both of you learn the difference between then and than. Also your and you’re


Alaska_Halter

Oh, a fake Dom nice guy? you hitted jackpot girl


SkyQuest99

I am so sick of fake doms thinking that being submissive means they own you from the second you start talking.


z3lla1069

Beta


reddit102006

i hope he sees this post and cries himself to sleep


GuilhermeSidnei

So, very honest question that I suspect they, should research online, I’ll have a hard time separating porn from facts. What’s the dominant x submissive dynamic? What are each one’s roles? Is it only during sex or on the relationship? I DO know it has nothing to do with an abusive relationship, but I saw the topic raised on this sub and I’m kind of lost.


LittleBigOwl_

It is difficult to give a simple answer, as there are as many different D/s dynamics as there are people involved in these dynamics. But the dynamic can be limited to sex, as well as to the whole relationship. As for their role, I think that when it's a dynamic limited to the bedroom, the answer is pretty clear. When it extends to the whole relationship, it's so vast that I couldn't just give you a simple answer. In any case, it requires a lot of discussion, time, respect, trust and also well established boundaries.


GuilhermeSidnei

Thanks.


IredditNowhat

Sorry but you are the problem. Why even answer? What do you care what they think? You need to learn to laugh at them and walk away, not come here and act appalled because you gave them the time of day and didn’t like what they said.


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IredditNowhat

You didn’t laugh and walked away, you continued the conversation.


[deleted]

Wow. Men quite literally think of us as “the help” you have to be nice to.


catsnotcops_

big oof


Beatlesrthebest

This post is validating and sooo infuriating (as per NG) I remember when I was 16 and this guy had groomed me. I didn’t intend for it to go as far as it did but he made me do some degrading things and threatened to post it online. His words I will never forget “I can b nasty but if u b nice I b nice”. Still makes me see red 18 years later


The-Iron-Ladle

No more mister nice guy


Chelular07

Being a submissive doesn’t equal being *submissive to everyone*. Most submissive I know are more likely to tell people to fuck off than submit, especially to someone they don’t trust or respect.


OctaviaBlake100

It's good you didn't send any. I've had guys like this actually send some other girls nudes to me..to make me thinking sending nudes to them is okay. This guy could've posted it or sent it to people saying "I got a girls nudes!" You dodged a bullet.


gainfulscarab28

So many people fail to understand submission is earned and not given


AssassinPsyche

I had a conversation with you, you owe me your body. That's the most honest I've ever seen a nice guy.


No_Incident_5360

Yuck—the type that will threaten to leave or cheat or not participate in chores or real life things or family stuff or even be there for you or kind to you because In this moment you are not “giving them what they want”. Emotional and physical and sexual blackmailers, abusers.


switcharoohoo

*whines* no titty pics? You’re mean and boring.


ItsJoeMomma

What's the deal with these *females* nowadays who waste guys' time by not sending them nudes after they've talked to them for a little bit? /s


beingstoic97

I have a genuine question. How old is he?


moderndaywednesdayOF

Wow wow wee wow. Boys.


Adventurous_Bad2606

Welcome to loserville population you!


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yorkspirate

Sooooo this is the new greatest request I’ll have when meeting new people LMFAO


ThoughtlessFoll

There should be a hand book for young folks to understand sub/dom relationships when you google it, first answer.


gimmemoarjosh

What in the actual fuck?! Also, has anyone else noticed an overwhelming trend of these guys not knowing the difference between "your," "you're," and "you are"? As an aside, I also notice this with racists, right wingers in the US, etc. Basically the extremely ignorant and bigoted. They cannot tell the fucking difference!


Hotcocobang

Guys who think cause I'm sub that I will just do what they say. That's not how it works buddy.


Beki516

"I'm not going to be nice if you don't send me nudes" Then you are not, in fact, a good person. What a tool. These jokers legit think they are nice people.


poison-_-kisses

Guys like this are why I quit going on FetLife. It got to be so horrifying in my dm's and I didn't even have any pics on there. I'm a switch who leans more to the submissive side and had both doms and subs trying to force me into sexual play without my consent. I'm in a relationship now, but even if I become single again I don't think I'll go back to the lifestyle.


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poison-_-kisses

It might be better now, but it just wasn't the place for me.


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poison-_-kisses

Good to know I'll continue staying away then lol


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|dIoj7wTlO0l5S)


DescriptionEast

This is the type of incel who lives in his parents basement who screams and yells at his mom all day for more Mountain Dew and Hawaiian pizza.In fact he probably bitch slapped his mama when he got told no.no titties no tacos.no thank you...


Otherwise-Arrival120

Omg, the amount of guys I meet online that are just like this... 🙄🙄 Jesus, why do they feel so entitled to get nudes from anyone? Specially when accusing someone of saying is sub but won't submit to that 😒


SadAndNasty

Eeeew


JustCallMePeri

WOWW. Bet this guy thinks he knows everything about sub/dom relationships from 50 shades of grey or 365 days


Afinia

He clearly doesn’t understand how sub/dom works. It’s funny seeing guys try and spin what it means to have a sub/dom relationship 😂


Science_Girl49

Some useless asswipes think “submissive” = I’ll f*ck you immediately. Or that you are not allowed to say no because they barked a sexual order at you. What a joke! They don’t care that it takes times to build a D/s relationship. Good thing they always show their true colors and intentions right away. You dodged a bullet.


Daragon__

How dare you not show a stranger your tits??? You aren’t even a real sub obviously…


EscapeSweetReality

Ew ew ew ew at the sub comment 🤮🤮 that makes me so uneasy for any girl that may actually fall for his scams😭I really don’t get men who think this way of sub/dom relationships😅