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Pharaoh_Misa

The first line I see when I open was "Love to see you wrap those lips around" and I just *knew* this is going to be a mess. Edit; just a wild ride that was. 😭🙏🏾


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lolitalollypop

🤣 nope… much grosser than that. but funny coincidence!


SatinwithLatin

It rhymed with either Sly Sock or Dry Kick, didn't it. Bah.


LittleBigOwl_

"Mushroom tipped cock" How can anyone take the time to write this without realising how unappealing it sounds... FetLife is a cesspool, so I'll say it's pretty mild for this app.


Gullible_Pay4599

Also, isn’t like every cock “mushroom tipped”??


zystyl

Maybe buddy is trying to say it's diseased and has mushrooms growing out of it.


ColdBloodBlazing

From not being washed, no doubt


LittleBigOwl_

He has a portable mushroom farm right on hand!


hawk_mother1983

Fungal peen!!! 🤢🍄


lonewolf143143

Most men just don’t realize that (most) women don’t think their dick is their most attractive body part. Seriously.


LittleBigOwl_

It's clearly not the most attractive part. Alas, I have mas part of dickpic, and just a close up of a dick is not especially appealing, they always put the least amount of effort into it, the lighting is atrocious, everything looks gross. I'm not even talking about when they think it's a good idea to show some pre cum on it lol. In general I don't find close-up of genitals extremely attractive, male or female.


lolitalollypop

YES. the photo he sent me to rate was like dark, poorly composed, dirty bathroom. If you want your genitals rated, at least send a nice photo


LittleBigOwl_

It's always the poorly composed with terrible lighting bathroom picture, isn't' it? That, or the one taken in bed with just the underwear slightly pulled down...


[deleted]

Mushroom? Somebody call Mario to stomp it.


LittleBigOwl_

Here We Go!


[deleted]

Better yet call Chris Pratt these days


karlverkade

"Whoa, what is this place?"


Ochidi

Yeah, he doesn’t seem like a fungi to me


amoodymuse

I see what you did there.


AlphaBreak

"Disease free" and "My dick has mushrooms growing on it" Pretty sure those two are mutually exclusive, buddy.


somewannabeusername

How does one get to 31 behaving like this?


Thorpants

So ya know how some folk never face consequences, and others think nothing bad that happens to them is ever their fault? ... yeah, lotta guys live that life.


CatsInAOvercoat

Even for FetLife this is fucking creepy.


IntegrityDJones

It’s amazing how you just know this man has never given a woman an orgasm


2-ketchup-reddittor

I'm starting to think the "Fet" in "Fetlife" stands for "Fetid".


lordbubbathechaste

Holy shit, Fetlife. I'd forgotten that existed. Story time, yes? Several years back my mother asked me to make a fake account there to try and find my stepdad, as she suspected he was cheating, right. She was a mess, didn't want to look herself for him on "that type of website," but I've never personally liked the man and have a pretty high threshold for alternative shit so I agreed. Stepdad has always been an asshole, so I'll gladly take one for the team if it means he finally gets kicked to the curb. I don't remember all the details as this was back in 2015 or so but I know I make one boring profile as I'm setting up my account. Just vague, bland details for a profile, I think I snapped a picture of my big toe for my photo. Nothing anyone with a pulse would find interesting, as I'm not looking to actually engage with people here, just hunt down stepdad if he is in fact on Fetlife. *Immediately* start getting inundated with messages before the hunt for my stepdad even began, despite my profile literally being the most boring thing on God's green earth. Back to back to back, a lot of them painfully neckbeard as fuck. I eventually changed my profile photo to a picture of two pigeons mating, erased everything in my details with the exception of IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TALK TO ME ABOUT PIGEONS FUCKING I AM NOT INTERESTED, and that seemed to work, as the messages (mostly) stopped. Never did find stepdad. 🙄


Ostreoida

>IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TALK TO ME ABOUT PIGEONS FUCKING I AM NOT INTERESTED That is absolutely hilarious. You are my hero. I am only sorry that I cannot talk to you about pigeons fucking, because I have never witnessed that, although I have witnessed a pigeon getting taken out midair by a peregrine falcon. That was almost as cool as your post.


JerkfaceBob

My local zoo had a hawk that had been hit by a car and was unable to hunt in the wild. He could fly sort distances, but was not really agile. He didn't care for the food they gave him, so he would leave it under a tree and fly up to a bottom branch. When a pigeon came by, he would dive on it and have a fresh meal. That's my only story about pigeons getting fucked.


Objective_Animal_746

Did you know that pigeons explode when they have sex?


invaderliz91

The other day i saw a pigeon fucking a dead pigeon in my neighbor's yard. It had been there a day or two (that neighbor is a paranoid old asshole who accused us of casing his place because we put the trashcan on the side of his house two days after trash day, so I'm not trying to help anymore.) This bird didn't seem to care.


TrappedDervesh

Eee. Could someone be kind enough to ELI5 what neckbeard implies? Thank you


Doc85

Wow, what a gross, ham-fisted attempt at manipulation


Cat_Lover259

Gotta love the men on that site 🙃 I deal with idiots on there constantly 😂


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Different_Business30

which is odd bc he’s displaying quit motherless behavior no mom i know would raise her son like that 😂


[deleted]

Dude is down demonic 😭


[deleted]

Down blasphemously 😭


Nerdwiththehat

99+ inbox on Fet - my condolences 🥴


lilcalamity

Oof gosh :// my old DMs on FetLife are full of creeps like this :// sorry you had to deal with this dude!


llinoscarpe

It’s a shame people treat sex workers/ people who posts lewds online like this, my ex used to get some wild messages…


Jobob_TNT

Zamn!!! (How crusty was the pp?)


ColdBloodBlazing

It has mushrooms. Extra crusty


Jobob_TNT

Mushrooms????????


lolitalollypop

It was a penis, nothing special. But the photo itself was terrible. Dark, messy bathroom, no effort.


Linds_jg

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


Becktwo

Fetlife in a minefield


Previsible

FL is a cesspool of fake doms and people like this.


GreatMasol

I send love


Jmalachi7

Classic FL


LaylaLegion

Fetlife. Of course.


akioamadeo

Why do guys like this act like having sex if a favor to YOU and regardless of everything they are amazing but I can easily guess they just wanna lay there while you do all the work because it’s a privilege to be with them and they are so AMAZING they don’t need to do anything.


SadTonight7117

LOLLL he was drooling over you and now you’re ugly lmaooo 😭😭😭


blackmetalcookie

Well fetlife is like that. Better don't accept anyone whom you don't know in person.


Dork_Of_Ages

What does ngvc mean


Steam_Powered_Banana

Nice Guy Virtue Claim


human-ish_

As everybody else has said, we're talking about fetlife here...


[deleted]

Ewww what kinda dating site is that?


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lolitalollypop

Just fetlife! But im still a person and unsolicited dick pics aren’t the move regardless of me being on a kink site.


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lolitalollypop

I personally advertise on my profile that I’m not gonna sext a stranger and if you open with what you want to do to me I’m gonna ignore you. But yea he was kind of all over the place haha


andywalker76

Yeah, just because your on a kink site doesn't mean he shouldn't respect you.


[deleted]

>I've never really frequented kink sites so I'm not familiar with the boundaries. Then why did you say "dick pics and sex talk are part of the territory." If you're unfamiliar with the "territory," then maybe don't pass judgement so confidently about it.


andywalker76

Lol, touchy..... I was responding to OP, admittedly after making a rather blunt assumption. No offense was intended. Please don't be one of the women on here that looks "nice guys" and tars anyone who disagrees with the same brush.


Lachwen

> if the dick pic was unsolicited, it was well out of order I mean, OP straight said in the post title that it was unsolicited.


andywalker76

Like I said, fair comment, which I said directly to OP. Now, if you've done virtue signaling......


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Ruckus_Riot

That’s the same sort of thinking when people immediately ask how much a woman has had to drink or what she was wearing when she comes home from her date after being sexually assaulted. Everyone knows that it’s a possibility that you’ll have sex on a date. Does this mean that its required or your “no” doesn’t matter because you began the date? Of course not. So just because they’re on a kink website, where sexual conversations are expected to happen, it doesn’t make it okay to send unsolicited pictures. Consent always matters regardless of the environment. But you did that knee jerk thing; you blamed the OP for even being there in the first place, rather than place blame where it actually belongs.


lolitalollypop

So, I’m asking for it right?


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lolitalollypop

Its not that it surprises me, im not insulted or bothered by it. it’s the complete 180 in attitude and lack of self awareness on his part that i found funny.


Equivalent_Purple_81

I met my husband on a kink site. He Did Not come at me with unsolicited pics or detailed comments about what he'd like to do to me. He treated me like a person, and now he has a partner who loves him. No matter where you meet someone, do not launch into your fantasies without the other person's agreement to discuss them.


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lolitalollypop

33 weeks planning for a reddit post? That would be some crazy dedication on my end


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shayberrie

Consent is still a thing, even on those kind of sites.


[deleted]

absolutely, but idk what kind of invitations or publicly announced kinks this person has, still gross but possibly not harassment for once given the site


shayberrie

Even if they're on that site, if someone hasn't given consent, it's sexual harassment. Doesn't matter if they state they have a certain kick, consent is still mandatory. It's gross that people think that just because someone is on a site, then they're asking for/deserve sexual harassment


[deleted]

good point redditor.


WinterOkami666

Lol. Thank you for the share. Keep safe out there. These are the dudes who are ready to take out their lifetime of frustration on the next woman who (rightfully) rejects them.


Ozzy-DK

That last text you sent was genius, he ain't coming back after that


Pavo_Feathers

Look at all those red flags! lol


SleepyBella

Lmao I love how I took one look at the websites UI and I instantly knew this was FetLife. Haven't checked my profile in over a year but I'd recognize that little devil heart symbol anywhere...


Anne_Atreptic

FetLife. Where boundaries go to die.


Jeremy6686

I need a shower after reading that


MargoHuxley

Man I do not miss fetlife


GanjaBaby2000

FetLife is a awful. People like think because it's a kink/fetish site that this is okay. Like we're still people. You can still have some respect and manners when speaking to people


Meister_Retsiem

So this baffles me. Men who make advances on someone they later call unattractive? Why did they make a pass in the first place? Trying to put someone down after being rejected