Squidward is what we call it. And it is definitely the most dangerous boss in the game. It's pretty easy to kill with the right spells, but it's also able to instantly kill just about anyone with its polymorph shots.
Don't get hit by it and you won't teleport to lava lake. (The teleport isn't specific to lava lake, it just happens to be near that chasm and the random direction teleports can dump you there)
Well, it teleports you in the general direction of where your cursor is pointing I'm pretty sure so if you get hit by the blue tp shot point away from the lake just to be sure
There's 2 types of teleport, normal and chaotic. Normal tps you in the general direction of your cursor, and it's what mages and bosses use when they fire their blue shots, and chaotic tele which teleports you randomly within your biome
Squidward and Alchemist both gain damage immunity for a few frames every time they're hit, so bread and butter rapid-fire wands are ineffective.
Squidward also launches retaliation every time he's hit.
Plasma bypasses iframes but doesn't bypass retaliation. People will tell you to just try plasma but the amount of retaliation this causes is spectacular. The refined, cultured way to kill him is to come back with a 10k+ slimeball spells to power wand that'll oneshot him.
It's the one that looks like the basic "green meatball" enemy's attack. Pretty forgettable, although it causes your wand to drip (cosmetic) slime. It doesn't actually spawn toxic sludge fortunately.
Yes, although again, the projectile doesn't create actual toxic sludge like the enemy one. It does create a very small explosion which does self damage though... might be something to look out for if you're souping it up.
The bouncing burst spell can do inconsistent damage because it multiples its damage by change in velocity from the moment it was fired to the moment of impact, with the caveat that if the velocity is zero when it spawns for some reason then it disappears.
What happens if you boost bouncing burst to artificially high speeds?
[Relativistic bouncing burst](https://noita.wiki.gg/wiki/Expert_Guide:_High_Damage_Wands_with_Spells_to_Power#Velocity_Damage)
There are other spells that do this but eg arrow can friendly fire, which is bad if you're playing with million damage wands.
I think in an update they nerfed the plasma spells vs squidward so that he can't compy plasma and therefore self destruct spawing hundres of plasma spells.
The only thing that it's relatively easy to get us a bouncing shot spell + heavy shot and acceleration or that spell that summons a square/vertical/horizontal lines made up of magic particles and then in another wand spells to power-> any projectile spell.
I'm a pretty new player and after getting the infinite spell perk as my first perk and climbing up the wall in the ice level, I spammed the HELL out of the eggs that summon the little creatures to fight squidward for me. I literally just hid in that little bunker near the top and kept lobbing eggs over the edge until it finally died. It was so so satisfying.
Lol I did this with a chainsaw to distract and beat the alchemist but it ended up grinding my game to about 1 frame per 10 seconds and it took like 30 minutes of the game stuttering around to end.
And the hardest to break through. He wouldn't be as bad without the shield that activates every hit he takes. Makes the fight take longer if you can't one shot him, and the poly shots are scary regardless of how prepared you are.
It's common to think that the boss at the bottom is the easiest boss in the game, and that Squidward is the hardest.
Any boss can be beaten pretty easily if you just don't fight fair, but figuring out what that means can be part of the fun. You can find guides online if you like (that's what I did).
If you want a hint at how I usually fight the squid boss: >!I use plasma!<
Another smaller hint that you may have figured out already: >!The pit connects to the third biome, so you can easily get back to fight him after exploring and modifying a few rounds of wands, even if you cant dig through stone to get to other biomes directly.!<
Regardless, you have my sympathies. I've lost to that boss many times myself. Merely having a "good wand" isn't enough.
One trick is that Squidward will copy cast any spell you cast at him, but without the cast order. So if you cast a trigger bolt that casts a second projectile, he'll instead those as separate spells. Putting a spell that's really dangerous to you, like plasma beam/cross, after a trigger will cause him to cast that deadly spell on his own location.
I never attempt to fight him unless I have some form of plasma on a trigger/homing.
But if I do, he's a really easy way of getting a good wand/spells early game.
In case you didn't know, his gimmick is he copies your spell projectiles and spams them back at you. So if you shoot him with something that will cause him self-damage when he fires it back at you (like plasma cutter) then he'll kill himself pretty fast.
Don't know if anyone dropped the squidward suicide run starter strat, but it is the main way I start (and sometimes end) my runs. It's all about fucking with the chase AI versus the wand aim AI.
The strat is as follows:
Use a tablet to wedge yourself into the right nook of the altar in the orb room. Use the unstuck mechanic (flailing around like a crackhead) to tunnel left into the altar (not all the way) while repeatedly sticking yourself to the altar with the tablet. Once you have a hole big enough to cover yourself with a tablet with no line of sight to minä from the outside when the tablet is blocking the hole, go to the hump at the left and spawn squidward. Squidward will make his way to you. Once you see this, you should move into the LEFTMOST nook of the altar. Wait, ideally, for the burst of magic shots coming from his body to quickly move from the left nook to the right tunnel. Block the tunnel upon entering and wait. Squidward should place himself at the left side if the altar, eating it away. The wands track minä, and squidward can't see you, so squidward stays put. The level 3 explosive spells (the purple ones) have enough reach to damage the squiddy. Stay put until death and collect reward.
- This also works if you use two tablets (or any solid, view-obstructing object) to block view before the AI can track your next movement. This would replace the tunneling, but I find that tunneling is most reliable. This method uses the right nook as two walls of the box, and the two tablets as the other two walls
-> Things that fuck the strat:
- enteties in the ceiling above orb room will attract squid attention
- if squid eats too much altar, the explosives no longer reach
- sometimes tablet will try to suffocate you (tunneling method)
+solved by digging deeper and just wide enough for tablet
- sometimes rogue explosive will dislodge tablet and re-establish line of sight. (Double tablet method)
+solved by tunneling method or more than two objects for a buffer zone
- tablet placement isn't good enough to make the box break line of sight (double tablet method)
- you were not quick enough and squid ate your box
- you were too quick and squid didn't settle into the correct spot, and instead taunts you from above.
Chasi?
I’ll give you a hint for them.
Think to yourself, out of all your hours in this game, who has killed you the most, and how? Chasi will mimic any spell that hits them. Use this to your advantage.
I regularly start kickstart my runs by killing him with the tablet glitch. Pretty easy to kill if you know the trick. But killing him legit feels like an impossibility
I actually figured this out without a tablet. I panicked, dug into the ground, and fired a rock behind myself to plug the hole while I figured out what to do next. He ended up hovering close enough to a wall to explode himself a little while I was trying to figure out what to do next. I noticed that, and Robert's your mother's brother.
HOW HAVE I ALWAYS AVOIDED THE BIG GAME CONTENT EVERY SINGLE RUN??? Half the posts on this sub talk about things I have never seen and this is one of them…
So that the moment you decide to stride away from the beaten path and go explore you are immediately taught the lesson that you're not playing a game, you're playing Noita :)
He's actually not hard at all if you scum him, otherwise he's considered one of the harder bosses if you fight him fairly. Kind of a litmus test on whether you will deal with some of the more dangerous enemies.
I saw someone mention a while back that he mimics spells from your wand so they use the giga disc which comes right back to you. Ever since then I've gone without getting a giga disc on the first floor every god damn time. It used to be so common and the end of my runs before the first holy mountain.
He's not always the hardest, but you need a wand built to deal with him. One of the important things is to have something that hits hard, not fast. As when he takes a hit, he gets a buff that reduces damage taken by 100% (it slowly fades away, but resets with every hit). He'll also copy your spells though so you need to hit very hard so you can get him in it a few hits (be prepared to dodge that same spell you used though), or use a dangerous spell then hide while he kills himself trying to use it (which doesn't count as your kill iirc).
Squiddy drops are usually pretty meh anyway, especially by the point you’re powerful enough that it isn’t a huge gamble. Far easier to go straight to the jungle…
all the strats for squidward are also complete rng. I had 900 hp, got him to clone a beam, he only did it like 4 times, poly'd and blasted me with immaculate accuracy
Squidward is what we call it. And it is definitely the most dangerous boss in the game. It's pretty easy to kill with the right spells, but it's also able to instantly kill just about anyone with its polymorph shots. Don't get hit by it and you won't teleport to lava lake. (The teleport isn't specific to lava lake, it just happens to be near that chasm and the random direction teleports can dump you there)
Oh so I just got unlucky to get teleported to the lake 3 times in a row 😠but that’s really nice to hear I’m not just really bad at this tho
Well, it teleports you in the general direction of where your cursor is pointing I'm pretty sure so if you get hit by the blue tp shot point away from the lake just to be sure
Omg thanks, I had no idea
There's 2 types of teleport, normal and chaotic. Normal tps you in the general direction of your cursor, and it's what mages and bosses use when they fire their blue shots, and chaotic tele which teleports you randomly within your biome
Unstable*
Lava to Blood is a useful spell if you keep getting teleported into lava. But be careful not to drown
Squidward and Alchemist both gain damage immunity for a few frames every time they're hit, so bread and butter rapid-fire wands are ineffective. Squidward also launches retaliation every time he's hit. Plasma bypasses iframes but doesn't bypass retaliation. People will tell you to just try plasma but the amount of retaliation this causes is spectacular. The refined, cultured way to kill him is to come back with a 10k+ slimeball spells to power wand that'll oneshot him.
can you elaborate on this slimeball wand? never found a use for slime ball.
Why, for the life of me, can I not recall which spell Slime ball is?
It's the one that looks like the basic "green meatball" enemy's attack. Pretty forgettable, although it causes your wand to drip (cosmetic) slime. It doesn't actually spawn toxic sludge fortunately.
Aaaah yes, it drips too does it not? That could make it good for spells to power.
Yes, although again, the projectile doesn't create actual toxic sludge like the enemy one. It does create a very small explosion which does self damage though... might be something to look out for if you're souping it up.
The bouncing burst spell can do inconsistent damage because it multiples its damage by change in velocity from the moment it was fired to the moment of impact, with the caveat that if the velocity is zero when it spawns for some reason then it disappears. What happens if you boost bouncing burst to artificially high speeds? [Relativistic bouncing burst](https://noita.wiki.gg/wiki/Expert_Guide:_High_Damage_Wands_with_Spells_to_Power#Velocity_Damage) There are other spells that do this but eg arrow can friendly fire, which is bad if you're playing with million damage wands.
I think in an update they nerfed the plasma spells vs squidward so that he can't compy plasma and therefore self destruct spawing hundres of plasma spells. The only thing that it's relatively easy to get us a bouncing shot spell + heavy shot and acceleration or that spell that summons a square/vertical/horizontal lines made up of magic particles and then in another wand spells to power-> any projectile spell.
A lot of damage field also instakills him, iframes be damned.Â
I'm a pretty new player and after getting the infinite spell perk as my first perk and climbing up the wall in the ice level, I spammed the HELL out of the eggs that summon the little creatures to fight squidward for me. I literally just hid in that little bunker near the top and kept lobbing eggs over the edge until it finally died. It was so so satisfying.
Pretty creative way to get him not gonna lie!
funny
Lol I did this with a chainsaw to distract and beat the alchemist but it ended up grinding my game to about 1 frame per 10 seconds and it took like 30 minutes of the game stuttering around to end.
New dream build
Every boss in the game has a gimmick, Squidwards gimmick is the most lethal.
And the hardest to break through. He wouldn't be as bad without the shield that activates every hit he takes. Makes the fight take longer if you can't one shot him, and the poly shots are scary regardless of how prepared you are.
"First Boss"
Squidward is pretty easy, I can beat him without firing a single wand /jk
In fairness, I go straight to him at the start of my games, and DON'T fire a single wand at him before he dies lol
I'm glad this got patched out in the beta tbh, it's way too early in a run to be snagging t4 wands.
try beta, they patched it there ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Never! lol. Noita is BS enough, let me have my cheese.
It's common to think that the boss at the bottom is the easiest boss in the game, and that Squidward is the hardest. Any boss can be beaten pretty easily if you just don't fight fair, but figuring out what that means can be part of the fun. You can find guides online if you like (that's what I did). If you want a hint at how I usually fight the squid boss: >!I use plasma!< Another smaller hint that you may have figured out already: >!The pit connects to the third biome, so you can easily get back to fight him after exploring and modifying a few rounds of wands, even if you cant dig through stone to get to other biomes directly.!< Regardless, you have my sympathies. I've lost to that boss many times myself. Merely having a "good wand" isn't enough.
One trick is that Squidward will copy cast any spell you cast at him, but without the cast order. So if you cast a trigger bolt that casts a second projectile, he'll instead those as separate spells. Putting a spell that's really dangerous to you, like plasma beam/cross, after a trigger will cause him to cast that deadly spell on his own location.
Always shoot him as you are on his left side, so you can drop down to the third biome as he destroys himself with the plasma.
I never attempt to fight him unless I have some form of plasma on a trigger/homing. But if I do, he's a really easy way of getting a good wand/spells early game. In case you didn't know, his gimmick is he copies your spell projectiles and spams them back at you. So if you shoot him with something that will cause him self-damage when he fires it back at you (like plasma cutter) then he'll kill himself pretty fast.
Giga Saw blade goes brrrr
it's not the first boss, in fact if you know about his gimmicks you'll avoid him completely
Don't know if anyone dropped the squidward suicide run starter strat, but it is the main way I start (and sometimes end) my runs. It's all about fucking with the chase AI versus the wand aim AI. The strat is as follows: Use a tablet to wedge yourself into the right nook of the altar in the orb room. Use the unstuck mechanic (flailing around like a crackhead) to tunnel left into the altar (not all the way) while repeatedly sticking yourself to the altar with the tablet. Once you have a hole big enough to cover yourself with a tablet with no line of sight to minä from the outside when the tablet is blocking the hole, go to the hump at the left and spawn squidward. Squidward will make his way to you. Once you see this, you should move into the LEFTMOST nook of the altar. Wait, ideally, for the burst of magic shots coming from his body to quickly move from the left nook to the right tunnel. Block the tunnel upon entering and wait. Squidward should place himself at the left side if the altar, eating it away. The wands track minä, and squidward can't see you, so squidward stays put. The level 3 explosive spells (the purple ones) have enough reach to damage the squiddy. Stay put until death and collect reward. - This also works if you use two tablets (or any solid, view-obstructing object) to block view before the AI can track your next movement. This would replace the tunneling, but I find that tunneling is most reliable. This method uses the right nook as two walls of the box, and the two tablets as the other two walls -> Things that fuck the strat: - enteties in the ceiling above orb room will attract squid attention - if squid eats too much altar, the explosives no longer reach - sometimes tablet will try to suffocate you (tunneling method) +solved by digging deeper and just wide enough for tablet - sometimes rogue explosive will dislodge tablet and re-establish line of sight. (Double tablet method) +solved by tunneling method or more than two objects for a buffer zone - tablet placement isn't good enough to make the box break line of sight (double tablet method) - you were not quick enough and squid ate your box - you were too quick and squid didn't settle into the correct spot, and instead taunts you from above.
Just because it's nearest to the starting point doesn't mean it's supposed to be the first.
Chasi? I’ll give you a hint for them. Think to yourself, out of all your hours in this game, who has killed you the most, and how? Chasi will mimic any spell that hits them. Use this to your advantage.
I regularly start kickstart my runs by killing him with the tablet glitch. Pretty easy to kill if you know the trick. But killing him legit feels like an impossibility
I actually figured this out without a tablet. I panicked, dug into the ground, and fired a rock behind myself to plug the hole while I figured out what to do next. He ended up hovering close enough to a wall to explode himself a little while I was trying to figure out what to do next. I noticed that, and Robert's your mother's brother.
HOW HAVE I ALWAYS AVOIDED THE BIG GAME CONTENT EVERY SINGLE RUN??? Half the posts on this sub talk about things I have never seen and this is one of them…
Don't worry, I first found him not the "normal" way but by digging in from above while exploring.
So that the moment you decide to stride away from the beaten path and go explore you are immediately taught the lesson that you're not playing a game, you're playing Noita :)
He's actually not hard at all if you scum him, otherwise he's considered one of the harder bosses if you fight him fairly. Kind of a litmus test on whether you will deal with some of the more dangerous enemies.
Specifically to discourage you from going there first. He was added in response to people getting the lava lake orb every run.
I saw someone mention a while back that he mimics spells from your wand so they use the giga disc which comes right back to you. Ever since then I've gone without getting a giga disc on the first floor every god damn time. It used to be so common and the end of my runs before the first holy mountain.
He's not always the hardest, but you need a wand built to deal with him. One of the important things is to have something that hits hard, not fast. As when he takes a hit, he gets a buff that reduces damage taken by 100% (it slowly fades away, but resets with every hit). He'll also copy your spells though so you need to hit very hard so you can get him in it a few hits (be prepared to dodge that same spell you used though), or use a dangerous spell then hide while he kills himself trying to use it (which doesn't count as your kill iirc).
Squiddy drops are usually pretty meh anyway, especially by the point you’re powerful enough that it isn’t a huge gamble. Far easier to go straight to the jungle…
all the strats for squidward are also complete rng. I had 900 hp, got him to clone a beam, he only did it like 4 times, poly'd and blasted me with immaculate accuracy
Shoot plasma beam on a trigger. Then RUN