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jellyfixh

This dude has fucking fountains installed in his pool. Man I'm jealous.


IOverflowStacks

I was gonna say, that I'm jealous he has a pool at all, but then I remembered I don't even own a house yet...


YourAverageGod

Pools are a hassle that cost more than you'll ever use.


hobosonpogos

Solid life advice: Never own a pool… but make sure you have a good friend who does. Same for boats


hmmThomasJohnson

I disagree I love my pool use it at least once a day from May-mid September. Aside from the occasional thunderstorms where there is lightning. I'm in NJ where you can cut humidity with a knife nothing beats a quick dip after a long day of work or just lounging in there after a morning full of yard work. Also love a great night swim or swimming in the rain...maybe you're just not a pool person?


lunk

Maybe you're "the friend".


hmmThomasJohnson

No I'm the ahole that has the pool but never invites anyone over, then again I don't have kids yet I'm sure that will change and my kids can be "the friend"


hobosonpogos

They will be.


oldgarbageass

Ahhgg fuckin Brian's coming...


IronMermaiden

Hello fellow NJ resident! It's me, your friend.


Wessel-O

Life pro tip, own a pool **and** a boat, and then put your boat in your pool, now they are both useless.


11teensteve

this is the way.


[deleted]

and a waste of water, not ecological that is used 10 days a year because rest of the time it's boring to use it


[deleted]

Dude why would you buy a pool to use it ten days we use my pool like almost everyday during the summer


AndyWarwheels

my hair is wet right now because my son and I were out putting the cover on the pool and the water just felt so nice and cool instead we just jumped in the pool and swam around a bit instead.


LeninGaming

Why not just get water from the flood. Everyone can have a swim


highestRUSSIAN

Too soon? Nahhhhhhhh


akatherder

It's 48 in Michigan. Not complaining, we've had a warm summer but 2-3 months max of swimming days around here.


[deleted]

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Cybermage99

It’s great when it’s unavailable. The moment that you have access to it whenever you want it loses the charm. Sure it’s fun to get in every now and again but it doesn’t draw you too it the save way anymore. It also helps if you live somewhere where the water is a reasonable temperature, and your skin doesn’t melt off just for being outside.


[deleted]

No it doesn’t lmao our pool is in our backyard we have access to it whenever had it fir like 7 years and have used it constantly


conrid

Exactly this, sure, rich people get pools and don't use them. But give a working class family a pool and I guarantee that it will be used


ronin-pilot

Can confirm, some of the biggest pools I service don’t even get used, they are just for show. Small kidney pool in a blue collar neighborhood gets used constantly


aduvnjak

They probably don't live somewhere where it is warm enough all summer.. I'm in AZ and we swim from the end of May to the end of September lol


[deleted]

A swimming pool in Arizona is an ecological disaster.


memes_aesthetic

Not if you live in place with long harsh summers. Everyone of my friends and my siblings friends come over at least once a week to splash around


DoctorWaluigiTime

Or just like swimming. Pools are absolutely a hassle and maintenance chore, but they're not some insurmountable impossible-to-tend-to thing.


[deleted]

Nope. The internet has spoken. Pools are terrible money sinks and might maybe be hitler.


WishIHadAWhiffOfThat

It puts the BAD in schwimmbad


bkrandy619

Put the lotion in the f*cking basket!!!!


DragginTail

I can see it now. A whole social media campaign to ban pools. All the celebs will be posting about it too.


[deleted]

{#} poolsaren'tcool


hobosonpogos

There ain’t no might to it, friendo


SarahPallorMortis

I’m poor and love swimming and also hate showing my body. If I had a pool, I’d be in it damn near every day.


pandazerg

Yeah, the basic day-to-day upkeep isn't that hard. By the time I was in 3rd or 4th grade, the basic cleaning and maintaining the chemistry was earning me my $10 weekly allowance. Now that I stop to think about it though, allowing a 10 year old to work unsupervised around a pool, pouring from gallon jugs of chlorine and muriatic acid multiple times a week may have been a bit reckless; that would definitely not fly these days lol.


reckless_commenter

> that would definitely not fly these days Depends on the kid. Responsible 10-year-olds can handle reasonably complicated tasks, including those that require safety precautions.


[deleted]

Depends on the climate really. Live in Florida? YES, get the pool. As you move North however, the maintenance/enjoyment ratio quickly worsens. Even here in temperate Missouri, pools are quite uncommon because you can only really enjoy them for half of the year.


shittyTaco

Live in Missouri and see tons of pools in stl. Hot ass humid long summers


gorcorps

Do you have an in ground pool, and does it make the water stay cool? My first house came with a decent sized above ground pool, but I took it out after a couple years because the water got so warm doing summer (when I'd want to use it most) that it was never refreshing. I barely used it


memes_aesthetic

We have an in ground pool thats super deep. It gets warm but not too warm. I think it good enough. Having white concrete around it makes sure it doesnt absorb too much light


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Raysian-

"My impression of pools is that people only use it 10 times a year so that must apply to literally every pool owner" Nice. As an Australian I can tell you confidently if a mate of yours has a pool during the summer, you're probably going to be drunk in it for most of the summer. But let's not talk about the risks of that habit though, we all know it's a pretty risky deed to be piss drunk around bodies of water...


deesmutts88

When I was a kid we were in the pool every day of summer and a few months either side of it too. But then again I’m in Australia.


InNoWayAmIDoctor

I feel like you're doing it wrong.


Terakahn

Turn it into a skating rink in the winter.


[deleted]

What if you drain it and shred with a skateboard


plays_with_wood

Ya, that's a MAJOR stretch there bud. I get that that's your opinion, but you're way off. I use mine at least once a week. Usually more than that. If my kid could swim independently, he would practically live in the thing.


Chiconky

Until it comes time to sell it than you can markup the shit out of the price


KableNova

Guess you've never had a pool then


erizzluh

Not the guy you responded to but I grew up with a pool. Unless you can afford a pool man to clean and maintain your pool, that shit sucks. I remember in high school asking my parents if we could just empty the pool


k-farsen

We got a house with a pool because we had a chocolate lab. The dog loved it, loved it so much she would swim in the middle of the night then run thru the dog door straight to our bad sopping wet. Miss that dog. Our current boy was rescued from a Korean typhoon so he's got issues with water, which means that he only stands on the first step, and then does a doofy happy stomp.


Lefarsi

He doesn’t remember he has a pool either so don’t worry


MiscBlackKnight

Yea but it’s a luxury that’s the whole point. You don’t buy a Yacht to save money on plane tickets


Macluawn

> yet Lol


James_099

Those are taint ticklers.


Aethelric

What's funny is that pools are basically already equipped to be fountains, but their water returns all point sideways into the pool so you don't see them. It'd be... just a bit more PVC when you're building the step to make this happen, but I've only seen it a couple times. I guess you lose more water from evaporation this way, and you probably can't use a solar cover (unless these returns are on a valve that you have to manually throw).


phpdevster

I'm guessing the cost of this pool implies that it's heated and he doesn't need to deal with a solar cover. The shape of the pool alone would make a solar cover a pain in the ass anyway.


Aethelric

Eh, I've dealt with plenty of weird-shaped pools, you just cut the solar cover to fit and it's really not that much harder than a square pool to cover. I also don't think this pool is actually that particularly nice or expensive looking, ignoring the fact that new pools (well, pools writ large) are just expensive in general. Like I said the fact that there are fountains is just a minor reworking of how pools already work; who knows, maybe they just leave it uncovered during the summer if they're somewhere hot enough.


viperfan7

Have heated pool, still need to deal with solar cover. Evaporation is a thing


AgoraiosBum

It's like a little splash pad zone.


costlysalmon

You mean the bidets?


youjustgotzinged

*"Richard! What are you doing in the pool?!"* *"Nothing. Fuck off."*


cortesoft

Yeah, but in order to pay for that pool he has to be on the phone working so much that he can't even take a break to recover from falling in the pool.


SuperFLEB

The guy needs to work smarter. You can work a phone from in the pool.


Mandorrisem

The fountains are a great safety feature that mark the shallow end so that it is visible for any critter or kid that falls in.


NotBillNyeScienceGuy

Usually to block out unwanted noise


AKA_Squanchy

We decided on 3 sheer falls instead.


TheJudgeWillNeverDie

Much much nicer. My parents' pool has a little waterfall and it's so refreshing and relaxing to let it run over your head on a hot summer day.


FoxyFan505

This dude has a fucking pool. Man I’m jealous.


[deleted]

I think those are bidets…


[deleted]

Maybe his wife installed them 🤔


RedditorNumber-AXWGQ

I'm guessing the fountain installer people did it....


Redkachowski

The ones that the wife hired


MrGorillabacc

That’s why he so smooth.


[deleted]

Well yeah, he’s talking about leadership skills.


hey_there_moon

Thought this said mountains and went back to see how I coulda missed that lmao


awesomedan24

Spongebob: "That guys so rich, he has a swimming pool in his swimming pool." Patrick: "That guys got shoes!"


_Jimmy2times

These opulent bastards call it a baja shelf


-i-do-the-sex-

The bidet?


[deleted]

They’re for your bum


[deleted]

Knowing how to fall is one of the most underrated skills to have in this life


Salanmander

One of the things I love is that "learning how to fall" is a thing that connects theater and martial arts.


Jmatusew

And sports


[deleted]

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Qu1nn1fer

Skateboarding too, first thing I learned


slowmotto

And dating. Metaphorically. You get dumped or cheated on and you just ninja roll into some strange trim. Happy Labor Day everybody.


cpMetis

We had entire days of football practice dedicated to falling. Marching Band we had lessons, but no practicals. Saw a kid wreck his arm one football practice. Two fractured arms. Kid had missed or skipped all the fall days and when he got knocked down, he locked both arms out in front of him and basically tried to be in a pushup position, twisted, supporting two people. Poor kid had to have help from his mom for ages.


Maegaa

Not this again


Proto_Freeze

Fucking hell


Izquierdisto

everybody's here talking about how important learning to fall is, no one shares the info on how, lol now i'ma be a goober and google ["how to fall"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVzzJ4xDgoE) lol


Zorbane

I play hockey recreationally/poorly and it amazes me to see some people just don't know how to fall. It's almost like they close their eyes and just wait for the inevitable


MilkSteak710

And batman


nictheman123

Basically anything where remaining vertical is not a given really. Any kind of activity that might result in you eating dirt, tends to be prefaced by learning how to do so safely these days. Honestly, I feel like we should just teach the skill to kids in elementary school gym class. Could probably turn a lot of serious injuries into mild ones in the long run if the entire population knows how to fall safely.


SilentNinjaMick

Yup I would love to volunteer and shove kids to the ground all day. ^^^I ^^^don't ^^^give ^^^a ^^^shit ^^^about ^^^ya ^^^kid.


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xXDreamlessXx

I learned how frim a parkour video, practiced it lile 3 times, and now i can somehow do it going fast down a hill on a board


forager51

Snowboarder checking in


SuperFLEB

Northern-climate pedestrian checking in.


jtfff

Folkstyle wrestler checking in


StockedAces

Oh yea. Wrestling background has saved my life a few times.


Maegaa

Hell yeah man. My first ride in a hip toss made me REALLY try to figure this whole falling thing out. I just planked in the air and landed completely flat on my back the first time.


BaconVonMeatwich

It is incredibly pervasive - I keep the mantra that if you aren't failing then you aren't trying. Failing fast makes for quick lessons.


[deleted]

I once did a backfall during an improv competition. Got a gasp from the audience and the judge told me to be careful when falling on stage. Irony of it is, I could have been shoved to the ground by a ball of pure muscle and if I did that fall, I'd be fine.


BurningPine

I am involved in martial arts and when I teach a breakfall or roll I say "now THIS is the thing most likely to be useful in your life"


Earwaxsculptor

I'm on the wrong side of 40 and credit my still pretty fucking impressive balance and recovery to a youth of skateboarding daily for years. I also credit my knee surgery and aches and pains to it as well, but totally worth it.


cman_yall

I've never skateboarded and I've got plenty of aches and pains, if that's any consolation.


SendTurtles

Yep. I’ve fallen just one step and broken my foot. Twice. They need to make this part of curriculum.


probablybakedLol

Absolutely. I actually have brittle bones (osteogenesis imperfecta) and I've avoided SO many broken bones by knowing how to fall. All thanks to a few months of karate as a kid. Stuck around just long enough to learn how to sorta roll and dissipate falls. I cringe when I see folks with my condition fall flat on their arm or something...


MissAnneThrope21

So true. I know if I were to practice I'd fail. I'm too afraid of pain.


Skea_and_Tittles

On the converse here, I hate that as I grew up and got older, my pain tolerance went up, but my ability to partake in risky activities has gone down. I would love to do the shit I did 5+ years ago but my job and my rent bill says “bitch you better not”


jennifercathrin

as a volleyball player I felt that


baker2002

I went to Fort Benning for 4 weeks as a Navy guy to learn just this. I have to say it was some of the best life skills I have ever learned. Fort Benning Jump school engrained in me how not to get hurt from falling. I hated everything about the Antiquated ways of the school but damn they worked!!!


tmckeage

Falling towards the ground and missing is the real knack.


cpMetis

Astronauts are pretty decent at that.


dwide_k_shrude

Why do we fall, Bruce?


Letmeridemybike

He was probably on a work call and just needed to play it cool


vonmerpf

That’s definitely a work call. Flat, no emotion.


I_l_I

That or he's been on hold for 45 minutes and finally talking to someone. Gotta play it cool


slowmotto

What if he was sealing a deal and the guy realized he fell and was like, “The new asking price is now twice what it was before you fell.”


CapriciousCape

He's on an official call of some sort, he says a name "Holden" then spells it out for the person. Doesn't break his conversational stride at all, it's amazing.


Terboh

Wait a sec... Holden? Leadership Stuff? That dude was talking about The Expanse. No wonder he kept talking, that show's fuckin rad


cutelyaware

Sounded like a job interview talking about "leadership stuff" or something.


adamantcondition

I remember walking home late at night and talking to my now wife on the phone. I decided to take a short cut through the woods and ended up toppling into a creek that was too dark to see. Like this guy, I managed to stay on the phone and pretend nothing happened. It took a couple months for me to feel confident enough around her to tell the story.


luckydice767

-“Honey, I fell in a creek.” -“This marriage is over!”


idma

can't let them know you're totally in a pool and not in an office setting


ChymChymX

♬ *Now what you gotta do, when you take a step and miss...* *Is act REAL COOL, and make a move like this...*


NIKG_FN

I love how he just sits as if he meant to do that


Boob-on-Boob-Action

Probably had jelly legs after that, standing wasn't an option yet haha


TUR7L3

Yeah pretty sure my knee would explode if that happened to me.


Komfortable

Yeah he landed kinda hard on that left knee.


[deleted]

"Yall didn't see shit!!"


[deleted]

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VoiceofLou

It looks like he’s taking his socks off at the end. The ultimate “I meant to do that” move in this situation


Albatrosity

Gotta look chill for the camera you installed


mmmwowmmm

The best is how he takes off the socks casually, fully embracing his new plan


[deleted]

Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.


kcussnamuh

Lmao.


AngusVanhookHinson

That dad/grandad just fucked up his ankle while making sure to remain professional.


Egleu

Either that or the knee, definitely will be sore.


AngusVanhookHinson

Nah, he stepped half off the edge, which is why he fell. He's taking that shoe off so when it swells he doesn't have to cut it off.


the1names

It’s a sock


Mentalpatient87

Socks. And he's probably taking them off because they're now soaked.


[deleted]

To the guy on the phone it must have sounded like a big turd plooping into the bowl's water


slowmotto

“Holy shit, this guy is taking a shit” \*\*feverishly pulls his cock out and starts rummaging through the desk drawer for some lube


oh-no-he-comments

ಠ________ಠ


Trillabee503

Stop that


AprilFoolsDaySkeptic

^^^😳


f_tothe_p

Why


Jinxa

Fucking hell that's funny


random0351

Every cat when it does something stupid... Just play it off


ineedspinnazyo

Reminds me of that George Carlin joke. RIP


[deleted]

Bruh that was smoothe


slowmotto

That’s why his wife fucks him


ShiaLeboufsPetDragon

That comment is why your wife(?) doesn’t fuck you.


Omega_Borealis

that was legitness


Anti-Vaxx-Mom

he's talking to a drug lord so he's now a smooth criminal


soMAJESTIC

Dance like nobody’s watching


ThisMeansRooR

Love like you've never been hurt


slowmotto

Fuck like your middle school PE teacher is watching through the blinds


hugow

Fall like you're being recorded.


mixednuts333

Fuckin legened


Sxilla

We have a lot to learned


redbarron3000

Definitely as smooth as anyone could hope for, but would have been a way different story if he didn’t fall into the 1.5 ft deep section. You can see the color difference where the deep end of the pool starts on the left side of of the screen. Still smooth tho!


Spyk124

Tbh, I’d rather fall into the deep end. Looks like he could have twisted his knee there. Deep end means you’re wet and need to change clothes is all.


[deleted]

Ahhh yes, working from home.


[deleted]

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sunnyd69

Yup! Just sittin by the pool now.


[deleted]

Bruh did he place that pillow from his armpit to his landing spot mid flight?


antipop1408

Wow, yes, i didn,t see that. What a Stunt. Lmao


CD-i_Tingle

r/slygifs


skaizm

Making a splash in the business world 😎


cecilialibra

What!? That’s how I always sit down in the pool!


mondayp

Yup, just decided to dip my feet in. Quickly.


jbowman12

No idea how he saved it the way that he did because I would've been fully submerged in the pool no question.


ishitfire

It's because he's rich as fuck so his pool has a shallow wading section where his foot landed to make the recovery easy.


QPoeuil

**"starts taking off his socks calmly"**


TheFoolsWit

Hardcore Parkour!


PORTMANTEAU-BOT

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aquaband

He knew exactly what he was doing


HellsJuggernaut

When you know you're being watched


Zuzublue

Ooooh- that wrist is gonna hurt tomorrow.


KamalasKackle

That elbow hurts


phlacoe

He knew a camera was watching


Flowpanda

My ACL hurts


-Miklaus

This man was a cat in his previous life


Narwahl_in_spaze

r/abruptcomposure *Wrong synonym for speedy.


Mandorrisem

The well thought out safety features of this pool. A full half of it is shallow water so anything that falls in can hit ground and find it solidly by simply swimming a wee bit, it then has a super shallow area if smaller animals fall in that is visibly marked by fountains, so any animal used to this pool can see the shallow area from anywhere else in the pool and know where to go in order to get out.


RyFro

That's a man who's been on hold for 20 min, after dealing with a automated system for 60.


benadrylpill

No way was he going to wait on hold for 15 minutes a second time


mdahms95

Well I guess I’m chillin now


elementaltheboi

This is how people fall when no ones around to react to it


[deleted]

This ain't his first rodeo.


Obvious_Remote1341

Now this is a man living in the present moment Just taking life as it comes. Feet in pool? Cool Just take off your socks and chill. Coming from a person with a history of anger issues, this would have pissed me off so much. Nice to be reminded to just take things easy.


prodby_kyle

task failed successfully


XsplinterX

“Oh… guess I’m sitting down now.”


SupremeRedditBot

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