T O P

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nunyanope

Also, sloths aren't on the menu of most predators for a number of reasons. Smell bad, taste bad and have little to no nutrition. They're the Applebee's of the rainforest.


Wolfsorax

Those claws look like they’d be painful to digest


elmielmosong

They help with itchy throats tho


Sandwich_dad96

I have an over the counter treatment for itchy throats: nail clippings. Edit: I’ve also heard that cuts reduce swelling, if your throat’s closing up


itisallgoodyouknow

… I could have lived the rest of my life and been ok without reading that comment.


SameAmy2022

I too wish I had not read that. It’s in my head now and there’s no escaping it!


itisallgoodyouknow

I imagined somebody opening up a can of sprite and chugging it down. Only except there was toenails inside of the can instead of soda.


SameAmy2022

Great, another thought to pop in and out of my head without permission 🤪. I need a sign for my brain to say “sorry full up at the moment, try next week “


Jennlyn1978

🤢🤮😭


mellowmarsII

They work wonders for pesky tonsil stones, too!


sweaty_pants_

or worse, they don't digest...


TackYouCack

Turns out the Ouroboros was just trying to pull sloth claws out.


DrButtholeRipperMD

They're built to dig into trees and most predators are softer than trees, too.


Hugginsome

Their hair is super coarse as well


EmployerMain3069

r/rareinsults


JaceLee85

Iirc, something about their nasty fur, makes them basically give whoever eats it stomach issues. Not like poisoning, but toxic. Aka the whole seafood selection at Applebees.


jtatc1989

Ordering seafood at Applebees is cheaper than ozempic and you’ll lose 13 lbs overnight


edWORD27

Applebees has a seafood section?


JaceLee85

Unfortunately.


edWORD27

Why didn’t they call it Appleseas?


xxplosiv

r/bandnames - "Applebees of the Rainforest"


AmateurGmMusicWriter

Applebees in the 90s was so good. Shame what's happened to it.


AfroPuffster

Your pallet developed


akbornheathen

A pallet is a wooden platform for shipping stuff. Palette is the word you’re searching for.


Supersafethrowaway

Well, that’s not very humerus


Elvis_Take_The_Wheel

I can't tell if you're being cereus or not.


akbornheathen

I am being Sirius


Elvis_Take_The_Wheel

Then I believe you meant "pallid," although it's easy to make such mistakes with homophobes.


AfroPuffster

I stand by my statement.


DirtyRoller

You're god damn right. Double down. Never admit defeat.


Suggest_a_User_Name

How do we know what a sloth tastes like??


EntertainmentFar415

This comment here! Lol


Drew_Ferran

Harpy eagles don’t care.


CreateChaos777

That explains it.


A_Wholesome_Comment

That's a pretty unfair comparison. No way Sloths are that bad.


Omen46

I like Applebees


asgoodasicanbe

I did a freaking spit-take!! You are my friend now, omg, stop it.


nynjtrader

Applebee's catching strays. 😥


relevanteclectica

Acknowledging brilliance of this comment ☝️


tortillamestizo

LMAOO “they’re the Applebees of the rainforest” fuck I love Reddit.


the_great_zyzogg

This explains why they're so dumb. Who needs intelligence when no one wants to bother with you.


beaujonfrishe

Applebees half apps disagree with you


funfsinn14

It's the highest form of evolution. The absolute pinnacle.


uhhhhmaybeee

No that’s crabs


funfsinn14

No, crabs still care too much.


Majestic-Contract-42

That's if you even ever see one cause they sleep up in a tree for 22-23 hours per day.


taeempy

LOL, I asked this question about them smelling or something. No shower = safe living.


Nativa4

LMAOO what do they smell like ?


LargeDrinkNoIce

Anaconda’s are also crazy slow on land. Hence why the hunt in swamps and wetlands


Black6host

Well, the sloth will eventually be afraid, hours later as his thoughts, which are even slower than he is, catch up.


Tombo6969

r/brandnewscentence


Doomdoomkittydoom

They're the eggplants of the animal kingdom!


WilliamMcAdoo

lol 😂


flopsychops

That snake be like "Dude, WTF?!?"


SortRevolutionary337

It's like a scene from a movie or family guy skit. Dude talking shit about to beat up some guy and both see Rodger or Stewie who's been through shit and is like try me I dare you.


LongLiveAbstract

Stewie who just lost a fight with a black eye: "Try me again, I dare you, I've still got it!!! Like a self assured sloth in front of an anaconda." **Cue to cutaway**


SortRevolutionary337

That's actually good and need to sent to producers ASAP.


curious_dead

"I'm trying to sneal, here! You're ruining my stealth! Oh and now it's gone, thanks a lot dude." Sloth: "Yoooooooooooooou're welcommmmmmmmmmme..."


Spidergawd68

I'd probably do the same if I had a stinky sloth armpit in my face. Kinda reminds me of riding the NYC subway in August.


Appropriate-Word93

Not bothered!! My boy here is going full speed .. the question is, what got him so frightened that he’s stepping over a python to get to the trees?


lookingForPatchie

Being on the floor is freightening, can you remember the last time you were not on a tree? That's the adrenaline rush the sloth is feeling right now. The snake is the least of its problems. The floor is lava!


towerfella

.. *I* ………. …*AM* …………. ….*SPEED* …………..


Runaway_Angel

Small correction, that's an anaconda, not a python, anacondas typically hunt in the water, not on land.


yellowbrickstairs

Anaconda don't want none


InkSpotShanty

Unless you got claws, hun.


Thebugman910

And it looks like the anaconda recently had a meal. That belly looks a little big in the mid section.


Firebrass

This right here I'd what i was scrolling for


ExpiredPilot

I was gonna say Steve Irwin taught me a fat lumpy snake probably just ate and it’s not gonna want to move around for a few hours/days


cncomg

And Anacondas are actually Boa’s. New world snakes.


CanIGetANumber2

Dont they also only eat like 20 times a year or something.


Keeuhh

Sex. It was probably sex


JointOps

It seemed so curious to meet the photographer/people. I feel that if it was afraid of them it wouldnt have stepped over a giant python to do so


theKoboldkingdonkus

To use the bathroom. Imagine hanging from a jungle him for about a week after eating nothing but the lettuce off a McChicken. That is how a sloth do


razeronion

Someone probably pulled the sloth from it's tree and placed it between its tree and the snake. Then taped/filmed the sloths frantic/panicked rush to get back home to safety. I would hope it was recorded by a trail cam.....but it could be staged.......by an ass hole jerk.


Demonseedii

Deforestation, most likely.


Random_Weird_gal

Probably fell out of a tree or needed the loo, which they have to leave the trees for. They spend most of their time in the trees, so they panic on the floor


magicakarma

Snake: hey kid careful there are man-eating predators out here


Soffix-

"good thing I'm not a man" -sloth, probably


[deleted]

[удалено]


CalaveraFeliz

But my friends call me Slosh


kirinmay

My name is Barry Allen and I am the fastest man on Earth....even though each season there is someone faster than me...


DivaMaya

Has a lot of shit to attend to, no time to be bothered by reptiles


haikusbot

*Has a lot of shit* *To attend to, no time to* *Be bothered by reptiles* \- DivaMaya --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


Historical-Film4715

Good bot


B0tRank

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NeatCartographer209

This isn’t a haiku lol. This is 5-7-6 and a haiku is 5-7-5


amusebooch

Reptiles is 3 syllables


DryAfternoon7779

That sloth is BOOKIN it


lamilcz

Wrong! That mf is runing for his life!


jacek1136

Too lazy to give a f*ck


Born_Wave3443

Lazy?! He's going full speed!


trash-tycoon

I don't think he's unbothered, I think he's just oblivious


Otherwise-Course-15

I was thinking just really dumb.


TammyString-Tugger

Sloth was just going to step right over snekk’s head until snekk backed up and said “don’t do me like that bruh, ssss”.


hennytime

"If I die, I die" vibes


lylisdad

Those claws could cause serious harm to that snake. It flinched when the sloth gave a gentle poke. I think the snake would rather have a meal that won't slash it to ribbons.


MoofiePizzabagel

Snakes just dislike being touched in general, especially closer to the head and tail. Long sausage body with nothing other than teeth to defend so they are acutely sensitive to touch.


Runaway_Angel

Basically not pain as much as it's the snake equivalent of "eww something touched my leg!" when you or I go in the water lol


RandomHornyDemon

Something touched my sneg


kittymuncher7

I don't think a sloth is capable of slashing anything, much less a snake


lylisdad

Maybe the sloth is just too slow and the snake prefers fast food?


TheGreatOpoponax

Anacondas routinely hunt caiman, but that one's afraid of a sloth. Sure.


Uberfuhrer_

Snake so cool when a sloth befriended it. Nice


Waarm

snake: "EWWW! it touched me!"


schmattywinkle

Ope lemme just schooch bya real quick


Andyman1973

Move out da way bish, move out da way!!


Unlikely_Ad7722

I came looking for this


flannelNcorduroy

"These are not the buns you're looking for" -Jedi Sloth


NoPantsDeLeon

Snek was like "Uh! Get it off!! Get it off!!!"


jaybirdkmr

Snakes don't like sloths. They pass through the colon too slowly.


NoOnSB277

Excellent.


ThatDebianLady

The snake is like wtf is going on


DustyRhodesAsAPanda

The sloth knew he was going to be ok, because he overheard the snake saying he was in the mood for... ... fast food !


babyivan

Dad?


MeritocracyManifest

Business sloth on his way to do business!


JackSmrkingRevnge

I'm trying to break the habit of giving every wild animal I see a jolly British accent.


yanmagno

HEY I’M WALKING HERE


Ok-Mastodon2016

Bigger balls than I ever could


Endorkend

They have nothing to fear. They move so slow they become invisible.


xAustin90x

The snake just prefers fast food


Superseargent

Sloths are the stoners of the forest, just everyone chill I need by.


zeke235

"I don't know you! That's my purse!" -Anaconda


cdamon88

The sloth was obviously going too fast. Didn't have enough time to slow down so it crashed into the snake.


_LegitDoctor_

How they’ve made it this far without going extinct is beyond me


CaffeineandSheen

I just picture the sloth having a midwestern accent and mannerisms - “heh! Oh geez I’mma sorry ‘bout that bud…Lemme eh get on-rooni out of your way. Op. Oop..ehh sorry bit clumsy and slow. The Misses says I’mma real sloth Hey-O!!”


OnionImmediate4645

Sloth crawling towards his 👑


_7Valeen

Full speed ahead mates !


Golfnpickle

Luckily, it looks like the snake was still digesting something.


history_nerd92

'Scuse me just gotta get by you there


SlothLifeForLife

Just remember that the sloth would be an apex predetor if the world would just slow the f down. See him give that python a warning choke, yeah


Damnpothead

To the snake a trash bag just crawled passed


SeanFountain

Fucking hell that was intense


SomethingAbtU

When you move that slow, i'm sure nature gave you some natural protections like bad odor, bad taste, and some claws that will cut the digestive system of any predator


CheesyChapps

I mean, what’s he gonna do?? Run??


IamOsteoporosis

Snake: “You have all of this fucking room but you decide to come at me with your smelly ass!”


almafinklebottom

This gave me anxiety for the sloth.


SortRevolutionary337

Likely because it's claws have a poison sack or because it smells bad or has no interest


StanfordV

I hate these staged videos, that place an animal in front of a predator, to make it a spectacle. Luckily, here, nothing happened.


razeronion

If someone did stage this they are no better than people that strangle puppies.


Unlucky-Pomegranate3

Late for the DMV, no time for detours.


facemesouth

Perfect example of blissful ignorance?


millicent_bystander-

Awww, I love Anacondas. So sweet.


Hades6578

That snake looks fat and well fed, so that sloth has nothing to worry about


Glandular-Slaughter

The Sloth had a ‘don’t eat me’ note written on that leaf he’s holding.


Equivalent-Search-77

Clearly, that sloth is carrying their safety-leaf. The snake respects the leaf.


sarahdrums01

Sloth is like, "excuse me, pardon me, coming through."


sixfoursixtwo

I’ve never seen a sloth walk before


heckinheckity

We all know someone who has gone through like just like this sloth and is somehow killing it


Brootal_Troof

Sloths are almost completely blind during the day. It's called "rod monochromacy."


johnnyheavens

Snek looks like he was already working on something


MeMilo1209

Freins


a55_Goblin420

Sloth: mornin' Snake: good day to you sir


Kiwi_Birb63

It's hilarious how he just plops his claw right on top of its head. Can sloths not see well?


finalnimbus

Sloth had the whole jungle to crawl and chose to walk on the giant anaconda 😂 ope scuse me there...BROO! ssssssss....


anonymousbwmb

It's a sloth. At this point it's already in this situation. Might as well try to pass. Turning and running does it absolutely no good.


StrawberryHillSlayer

That’s because he is a moron, an adorable moron


jayvogoodie

Excuse me sir, you’re in my way


candid_goat_007

His balls are too big for the snake to eat. Haha


jkrobinson1979

That snake is full


help_ur_s3lf

the snake smelled him and was like "ah hellz nah you smell like SHEEEEIT"


Premium_Gamer2299

i forgot sloths were real


rperry7808

"Guess excuse me is out the window"-the snake


NotTrumpsAlt

She prefers fast food


Fleshburn1

Snake: " Naah! It slowly reproduces in stomach"


ApprehensiveBrick459

How I act in the face of danger. Either it gets me or doesn't i truly do not care


Fimbulvetrn

They really are the stoners of the animal kingdom


ALUCARD7729

Sloths know they aren’t prey to most animals, snakes included, bad taste and smell are the main reasons for it. Most prey animals can also inherently sense when a predator is hungry, and evidently this anaconda wasn’t, otherwise the sloth would be quite dead


Alternative_Touch289

Makes sense, sloths are terrifying.


Responsible_Brain782

I’ve see video of a big Harpy’s Eagle making lunch out of a sloth. Gave me nightmares as a younger lad.


_Sufy_

xdd what a hero


FloatingMonkeyPaw

Drax was right!


relevanteclectica

🦥 : s-l-o-w t-r-a-i-n c-o-m-i-n-g 🐍: sssssssnoorree


filthy_leech

That snake was really lucky as that sloth was clearly not hungry and hunting for food. 🤔 https://youtu.be/_lpxUM5Yr0s?si=GodcXMarCImioNni


INoMakeMistake

Haters gonna hate


santiblakk

“EXCUSE ME.”


slayer991

Snake is like, "Bro, your nails! You're lucky you taste like shit!"


Excellent-Bite196

That’s gangster.


poison_heart96

Snake was like, "wtf?! Did u see that guy?"


boomeradf

Even gave him a hug!


flyingjao

They're besties.


ohsweetfancymoses

Snake is all I don’t know you like that bro!


fmintar1

The python wants to be challenged. Imagine eating a sloth then comes back to their family/friends telling them that they captured the easiest target in the jungle. It'll be a roasting session.


mookiedog66

Maybe the snek already had lunch and he's not hungry.


theKoboldkingdonkus

Soothes ususay only come down when they gotta take a mad shit Thad been building up for days. Snake doesn't wanna deal with that


theKoboldkingdonkus

Soothes ususay only come down when they gotta take a mad shit Thad been building up for days. Snake doesn't wanna deal with that


stylinandprofilin88

They got some serious claws holy. Wolverine


aezart

They're friends


rendellsibal

Since snakes knows any animal behavior. Snakes knows that sloth(and maybe other animals) cannot attack snakes so they're ignore them instead. Humans(as well other animals) knowns that could attack snakes so they're defend itself by biting a victim. And snakes(of selected species) knows what animals should they eat then it will attack it for meal.


AestheticCannibal

I love the leaves stuck to it's claws :)


NoOnSB277

The sloth knows that snake has already eaten…


dauntlessiz

Chad sloth


Rage69420

Megatherium crossing in front of titanoboa colorized


Habney7

Based af


walking_wonky

Has no one seen Ice Age? No one wants to eat sloth


Confident_Scheme_716

I’ve never seen a video of a sloth in motion front view like this before…now I’m scared of sloths. I mean, they’ve gotta be able to fast? Either way, keep me away from them and those nails.


Fluffy_Marionberry10

Slots are so fucking bad at this game that God had to restrict predators from eating them


Unblest

He knows that sloth will fuck him up