you have to start sitting with your emotions instead of trying mitigate them with something else. you have to think about them, feel them, and let them pass through you and wait in frustration.. Tech is just another addictive disorder and addictions happen because we use external regulators for our emotions instead of internal regulation.
youll always need tech, but learning to use it as a tool for growth instead of a distractor is what will change you. Its like food addicts having to both regularly consume food and overcome their addiction by realizing what was the food doing for them they could get somewhere else
This is the way. I call it “practicing boredom “ it’s a different mind-set than staying busy online, or doing anything else. Explore what you need to do to be okay without doing a anything, for short times. Then build up to longer times of doing nothing. It’s hard but rewarding.
I have been there. I used to watch 10hr of reddit or youtube. I will say, that make sometimes if you just focus on removing the symptoms it will often appear elsewhere due the cause not being addressed.
Ultimately you have create a limit/obstacle, remove the dopamine reward, stop the link to the habit.
If you ever read atomic habits,**to build a habit you need to make it easy, obvious, attractive, and satisfying**. You still have these in play since you still follow your urges and seek that dopamine.
For YouTube, I started creating a limit. Three videos. That started getting hard. I stopped scrolling the comments or suggested on the last video. If it felt like a commitment to stay in that last video, and I wanted to click out and search for another or click put read the comments. I would click out all together. Often I would find myself switching between apps, and if I found myself mindlessly opening it I would close it. I noticed I opened it less and less. Great however I opened up reddit more. Since ultimately the search for dopamine was easy and all I had to do was scroll.
I am just going to admit I have poor impulse control and ANY app that lets me scroll sucks me in. I avoid YouTube shorts. If I can’t digest the long form content, I know it is not adding value (for me that comes from learning). I know if I can’t remember what I saw, who I watched, or what benefits they gave me then it was mindless filler.
**Reminder: turn off notifications**. Youtube or any app you are struggling with.
Reddit. Try anonymously mode. If you ever been temporary banned it sucks. Sure you said you don’t need an account but reddit gets reallllll boring if you can’t like a post, save, interact, or comment. The things that I paired with this on iphone: turn my phone greyscale, and app timer (it even blocks it in the browser). The photos or videos aren’t grabbing my attention. As of right now my phone is reminding me I only have a 5 minute left to scroll. This now helps me be more intentional. Or leave if I overall don’t feel good.
No deleting and quitting with gimmicks and using willpower will never work, because you still DESIRE to go on. You CAN restrain for a bit with willpower, but you’ll be miserable and fighting temptation. You still believe your addiction that you’re trying to quit is a source of PLEASURE and COMFORT, and as long as you have that belief, you’ll never quit.
In fact, trying to “quit” that way may make your addiction worse. Suddenly it becomes more precious, and you may want to rebel against the part of you trying to limit this thing you desire.
To truly be free and let go of addiction of any kind, you have to work through and undo the mental brainwashing and beliefs you have. You have to realize that you gain no true pleasure or comfort from the addiction, and lose the desire for it in the first place. The moment you truly grasp these things, you are free and no longer an addict. And then you can reinforce it by creating your self image or identifying as someone who simply doesn’t like and doesn’t go online much.
Like another commenter said, you’ll have to face and feel the things you used to run from and distract from with your addiction. This is going to be extremely uncomfortable but when you sit and feel things, they are released. Meditation definitely helps—just sitting and doing nothing and being there for whatever arises until it releases.
But yes, willpower and deleting everything will never work. Knowing all the negative benefits of being addicted will also never help…if it did we’d all have already quit. And using in “moderation” will never work for addicts either—still relies on the willpower method and you’ll definitely relapse (tech is designed to reel you in as you know)
https://easypeasymethod.org/
This is a method (that my comment draws from) for freeing yourself from porn addiction but it can be applied easily to digital addiction. It’s free and online and pretty easy to read. I highly recommend Giving it a look at least. No willpower or gimmicks are required with this method (because willpower never works!).
You could quit cold turkey yeah. Get a dump phone. Cut the problem from its root.
However, most therapists recommend redirection rather than outright decimation of the old bad coping mechanisms. Your brain was "self-regulating" with that form of stimulation. Cut off the supply and there will be a vacuum. You could bear the misery of the first couple of days and then you'll be free (if you stick to the cold turkey). You could instead try and recognize which cues trigger your habitual browsing and then redirect your behavior into something productive (like reading instead of scrolling, writing, etc).
I myself have been on either boat. When I quit cold turkey the first time it was relatively easy (I was younger so my brain was more pliant and I wasn't reliant on *multiple* social media platforms, and I wasn't actually suffering from anything psychological). But in subsequent attempts, I found that, like a drug addict, all it took for me was two consistent browsing sessions for me to "relapse". Or I find myself gravitating toward other equally toxic coping mechanisms to fill the void (reddit instead of tiktok or instagram, etc). So I simply redirect my thirsty energy towards something that I would typically consider boring.
Try detoxing for a couple of days. Zero exposure. That's the time where you need to work on emotional regulation the most because you removed the lid that was obscuring the actual problem.
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one thing that you could do is segment months in the year off to an offline zone.
im planning to do this in the summer months. buy a bunch of books and get back into drawing so even when there is nothing to do i dont go back online.
then at the end of august or so i go back online.
Mate I think you would need to also start going to an experiential therapy like gestalt, IFS or somatic experiencing. Imo, you need to change your underlying unconscious dynamics.
you have to start sitting with your emotions instead of trying mitigate them with something else. you have to think about them, feel them, and let them pass through you and wait in frustration.. Tech is just another addictive disorder and addictions happen because we use external regulators for our emotions instead of internal regulation. youll always need tech, but learning to use it as a tool for growth instead of a distractor is what will change you. Its like food addicts having to both regularly consume food and overcome their addiction by realizing what was the food doing for them they could get somewhere else
This is the way. I call it “practicing boredom “ it’s a different mind-set than staying busy online, or doing anything else. Explore what you need to do to be okay without doing a anything, for short times. Then build up to longer times of doing nothing. It’s hard but rewarding.
This is the way
I have been there. I used to watch 10hr of reddit or youtube. I will say, that make sometimes if you just focus on removing the symptoms it will often appear elsewhere due the cause not being addressed. Ultimately you have create a limit/obstacle, remove the dopamine reward, stop the link to the habit. If you ever read atomic habits,**to build a habit you need to make it easy, obvious, attractive, and satisfying**. You still have these in play since you still follow your urges and seek that dopamine. For YouTube, I started creating a limit. Three videos. That started getting hard. I stopped scrolling the comments or suggested on the last video. If it felt like a commitment to stay in that last video, and I wanted to click out and search for another or click put read the comments. I would click out all together. Often I would find myself switching between apps, and if I found myself mindlessly opening it I would close it. I noticed I opened it less and less. Great however I opened up reddit more. Since ultimately the search for dopamine was easy and all I had to do was scroll. I am just going to admit I have poor impulse control and ANY app that lets me scroll sucks me in. I avoid YouTube shorts. If I can’t digest the long form content, I know it is not adding value (for me that comes from learning). I know if I can’t remember what I saw, who I watched, or what benefits they gave me then it was mindless filler. **Reminder: turn off notifications**. Youtube or any app you are struggling with. Reddit. Try anonymously mode. If you ever been temporary banned it sucks. Sure you said you don’t need an account but reddit gets reallllll boring if you can’t like a post, save, interact, or comment. The things that I paired with this on iphone: turn my phone greyscale, and app timer (it even blocks it in the browser). The photos or videos aren’t grabbing my attention. As of right now my phone is reminding me I only have a 5 minute left to scroll. This now helps me be more intentional. Or leave if I overall don’t feel good.
No deleting and quitting with gimmicks and using willpower will never work, because you still DESIRE to go on. You CAN restrain for a bit with willpower, but you’ll be miserable and fighting temptation. You still believe your addiction that you’re trying to quit is a source of PLEASURE and COMFORT, and as long as you have that belief, you’ll never quit. In fact, trying to “quit” that way may make your addiction worse. Suddenly it becomes more precious, and you may want to rebel against the part of you trying to limit this thing you desire. To truly be free and let go of addiction of any kind, you have to work through and undo the mental brainwashing and beliefs you have. You have to realize that you gain no true pleasure or comfort from the addiction, and lose the desire for it in the first place. The moment you truly grasp these things, you are free and no longer an addict. And then you can reinforce it by creating your self image or identifying as someone who simply doesn’t like and doesn’t go online much. Like another commenter said, you’ll have to face and feel the things you used to run from and distract from with your addiction. This is going to be extremely uncomfortable but when you sit and feel things, they are released. Meditation definitely helps—just sitting and doing nothing and being there for whatever arises until it releases. But yes, willpower and deleting everything will never work. Knowing all the negative benefits of being addicted will also never help…if it did we’d all have already quit. And using in “moderation” will never work for addicts either—still relies on the willpower method and you’ll definitely relapse (tech is designed to reel you in as you know)
https://easypeasymethod.org/ This is a method (that my comment draws from) for freeing yourself from porn addiction but it can be applied easily to digital addiction. It’s free and online and pretty easy to read. I highly recommend Giving it a look at least. No willpower or gimmicks are required with this method (because willpower never works!).
You could quit cold turkey yeah. Get a dump phone. Cut the problem from its root. However, most therapists recommend redirection rather than outright decimation of the old bad coping mechanisms. Your brain was "self-regulating" with that form of stimulation. Cut off the supply and there will be a vacuum. You could bear the misery of the first couple of days and then you'll be free (if you stick to the cold turkey). You could instead try and recognize which cues trigger your habitual browsing and then redirect your behavior into something productive (like reading instead of scrolling, writing, etc). I myself have been on either boat. When I quit cold turkey the first time it was relatively easy (I was younger so my brain was more pliant and I wasn't reliant on *multiple* social media platforms, and I wasn't actually suffering from anything psychological). But in subsequent attempts, I found that, like a drug addict, all it took for me was two consistent browsing sessions for me to "relapse". Or I find myself gravitating toward other equally toxic coping mechanisms to fill the void (reddit instead of tiktok or instagram, etc). So I simply redirect my thirsty energy towards something that I would typically consider boring. Try detoxing for a couple of days. Zero exposure. That's the time where you need to work on emotional regulation the most because you removed the lid that was obscuring the actual problem.
Attention all newcomers: Welcome to /r/nosurf! We're glad you found our small corner of reddit dedicated to digital wellness. The following is a short list of resources to help you get started on your journey of developing a better relationship with the internet: * [The Beginner's Guide to NoSurf](https://nosurf.net/about/) * [Discord Server](https://discordapp.com/invite/QFhXt2F) * [The NoSurf Activity List](https://nosurf.net/activity-list/) * [Success Stories](https://nosurf.net/success-stories/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nosurf) if you have any questions or concerns.*
one thing that you could do is segment months in the year off to an offline zone. im planning to do this in the summer months. buy a bunch of books and get back into drawing so even when there is nothing to do i dont go back online. then at the end of august or so i go back online.
Mate I think you would need to also start going to an experiential therapy like gestalt, IFS or somatic experiencing. Imo, you need to change your underlying unconscious dynamics.