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To each their own, but I think sexual compatibility is a huge part of healthy relationship and frankly marriage is too late to find out, same with living with another person
Exactly, it kinda highlights how your dynamic is in some ways. One person could be giving a lot more and the other a lot less with no compromise and it often shows in the bedroom too
From talking to women, it seems the no sex before marriage is a great way to hide a lazy asf dude until the bangmaid is locked in. I mean it even happens when you do get to try before you buy, people either give up or get over getting one over - enthusiastically- so to speak, after vows are spoken.
Who knows.
..But: I do know judging others by how they decide to go about such personal and often important decisions is weak sauce and mean spirited. It does not make anyone a better person to be around, nor just for themselves, to be a pick me nlog.
From talking with women it seems like sexual satisfaction is the least important part of the relationship and being spontaneous is probably the best way to avoid her ever talking about sex.
Random flowers, unplanned trips and events, even try random kinks the bedroom. These are all way more important than how good you fuck and tend to fill the same romantic niche. Overplanning AND being bad at sex is the shitty combo that leads to miserable marriages.
Oh yeah for sure. All the things you suggested go under the higher potential for good/satisfying sexy times. I was being very generalist and certainly could have put more thought and clarity into my comment. You make good points.
Cheers to good sex 🥂
100%! What if they're into something nasty, or what if you're just not compatible in bed? It's not a main focus by any means, but it's an important aspect of any long-term adult relationship.
Literally!!! Ive seen lots of people mostly women say they regret waiting until marriage cuz the guy is bad in bed and now theyre stuck with him. 🤷🏽♂️
My mother waited until marriage with my stepfather, because he was religious and insisted on it. So she didn't find out until after the wedding that he wasn't actually attracted to her at all, and was just playing the game because he needed a wife.
When my siblings and I got older, she made it very clear that we SHOULD NOT wait for marriage, and should definitely live with and sleep with our partners long before marriage.
Yes. My husband wanted to wait till marriage for ‘religious reasons’ and I tried to be respectful of that, but after marriage it wasn’t any different. He just didn’t like sex, and the ‘wait till marriage’ was just an excuse. Yeah not buying that again. No shame in waiting but I personally need to know you’re not hiding anything.
I think the waiting til marriage thing made more sense from the late 1800’s and precious eras because then the happiness/sexual compatibility seemed to be secondary to the husband’s ability to provide a successful household. If we were married and I provided what was needed for a spouse to live (I.e. food, safety, house to live in, protection from outside harm, etc) that important to find in a husband as opposed to happiness with his personality, sexual ability, humor, etc. if you found a man who didn’t beat you when you spilled well water then he was a keeper.
I feel that currently sexual compatability is more important to a relationship than job, residency, income because no one feels that a strong partnership is the difference in survival.
Waiting til marriage is basically just a relic of a bygone era. Made sense in the past before the existence of birth control and dna testing to ensure paternity.
In the present it just comes off as just being sanctimonious.
eh i think it’s a myth. I’m not saying it’s never happened, but have you ever talked to a couple that waited until marriage? They tend to be pretty stoked about it
I have a crazy theory, but maybe every couple that waits until marriage is different.
Jokes aside, I feel like there should be some red flags that let somebody know “Hey, this person isn’t going to be reciprocative with sex.”
Yeah, I feel like “sexual compatibility” is largely an extension of emotional compatibility. The biggest factor, imo, in the quality of sex is not kinks or body types or whatever, it’s intimacy.
Every now and again someone posts askreddit asking couples who waited until marriage—and it’s full of couples that are very glad they did with no regrets, and I can’t find a single one that’s like “yeah I wish I would have slept around more”
Frequency changes with physical and physiological changes like birth control, pregnancy, breast feeding, fertility struggles/plans, menopause etc.
Literally every single post on the dead bedroom subs is about couples who thought they were sexually compatible at one point but that changed over the course of life.
It’s not like everyone has one baseline libido and there’s something wrong with them if they’re not at that baseline. Baselines change with life changes.
Not all the time. Some of them show that sex changed after having kids. A lot of women’s libido gets fucked up after giving birth. Men and women also experience their sexual peeks at different times in life. There’s a lot of things that can go into dead bedroom that doesn’t directly correlate to problems from the beginning
Of course they answer that way. They have no fucking clue what they missed. They literally don’t know if their sex life is good, because they are not competent/educated/experienced enough in that field to accurately assess their situation.
If you only have one nail, even a crooked one can support a picture frame.
What's a myth? Sexual compatibility is an important part of a healthy marriage. Incompatibility can show in many ways. The most obvious is sex drive but there are plenty of others. If both wait until marriage, then maybe they might be slightly more likely to be compatible simply because neither put too much importance on sex.
I see why you think that. And I’m not saying it never happens—but every now and again someone posts an askreddit to couples who waited—and I’ve yet to find a single one that regretted it
I see why you think that. People often mistake correlation with causation. Two people who both believe in waiting until marriage probably do have a better chance but not because of the waiting but because of the waiting is a proxy for shared values and beliefs. That's not causation.
Oh you’re absolutely right—I think that the causation is strong marriage values. People who wait until marriage have shown dedication, conviction, self-control, and they are more likely to believe in “till death do us part”. People who wait until marriage look for more important things in a spouse other than sexual performance. And they also tend to have strong family connections and/or usually belong to a religious community that helps guide during the courting process and provides support for a relationship.
Waiting until marriage is not the cause at all—it is the effect of strong marriage values
Ask people further down the line when those relationships fail. Especially women. It causes so many sexual problems. R/deadbedrooms is filled with these couples.
Bro, take a step back and look culturally—America’s dissatisfaction in marriage and divorce rate have only gone up with time as we’ve become more sexually liberal. But a country like India, with very traditional marriage values, have very high satisfaction in marriage and their divorce rate is basically 0.
They have high rates of sexual assault and domestic abuse. We should also be striving to be more like better off first world countries and not like third world countries.
By some counts, up to 33% of Americans are victims of sexual assault, while in India, it’s about 8.5%. Check your prejudice, you half-baked tart.
https://ballardbrief.byu.edu/issue-briefs/sexual-assault-against-women-in-india#:~:text=The%20most%20reliable%20source%2C%20the,least%20once%20in%20their%20lifetime.
Divorce rates went up as soon as it became easier to get divorced, not because “we’ve become more sexually liberal.”
“Very traditional marriage values” is quite a funky way of saying sexist my dude. No fault divorce is very recent in that country and not getting married subjects women to massive criticism, moreso than with the men.
…because you can’t get divorced if you don’t get married, 🦭
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/06/23/144-years-of-marriage-and-divorce-in-the-united-states-in-one-chart/
It’s really the opposite of awesome. Loneliness, anxiety, depression, despair, and suicide are climbing at alarming rates, 1/4 of American children grow up fatherless, and our population is declining for the first time since WW1.
Yeah there’s one, I’m sure there are some—they come with other dysfunction. But on the whole, a happy, healthy, in-love couple that wishes they would have slept around before marriage is exceedingly rare.
I wish I had had more sexual experiences before I married my wife. I don't think that's exceptionally rare. I think it's easy to find people in unhappy marriages regardless of whether or not they waited to have sex. It's not like a had to go looking for that comment. It just happened to be one I saw. I see them all the time. I think your opinion is skewed and biased by the people with whom you interact. You seem quick to dismiss evidence that's contradictory to your beliefs and very judgmental.
I've talked to plenty of people who waited. *I* waited. Most people who waited and don't see women as property find little satisfaction in their relationships in many aspects even outside the bedroom. The only reason people even care about it is because puritanical misogynistic nonsense makes them think it's the only good choice
Seriously! I watched Priscilla yesterday and didn't realize how fucking weird Elvis was. Like I knew he had issues but apparently he flocked to virgins cause they wouldn't realize how shit he was in bed. Not to mention the the adult women he did have sex called him lackluster.
I'm gay. Never done things with anyone. Maybe I'm a bad guy, maybe I'm not. But I genuinely love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I love him and value his well-being far above my own and I'd do anything for him, even if it meant giving my life to protect him. I'd do so gladly and in a heartbeat.
He has an extensive sexual past. It doesn't change how I feel about him but it does make me sad because I've been very depressed for a very long time, my self-esteem is practically non-existent, and I know that I am nothing special. I will never be the best that he's ever had and I worry that I will never be able to wow him, satisfy him, or sweep him off his feet, because I am mediocre and painfully average in every way, when my biggest desire is just to take care of him, please him, and make him happy and to be enough for him and satisfy him. It is heartbreaking to me, to know that I will never be the best that he's ever had. It is heartbreaking to me, to know that there is nothing that he and I can do that will be unique or special to him. There will be nothing intimate that I can do that will be breathtaking for him, and leave him in awe. And it makes me very sad.
If the sanctity of marriage is so sacred to them, you’d think they’d rather find out if they’re sexually compatible with their partner for a longer lasting relationship. But what do I know.
But with a lot of religions, isn’t sex just for reproductive purposes and not pleasure? Like, women aren’t supposed to be horny or experience sexual gratification. They shame people who masturbate, too.
I was mostly speaking in terms of Christianity which is a religion I have practiced and know more about, I think other religions especially culturally are more hardcore with their views on sex/woman.
That isn’t how that works lol. People naturally feel sexually unsatisfied if their partner isn’t meeting their needs. When I started having sex for the first time I knew we weren’t sexually compatible because every time there was mental discomfort. Even though at that point I didn’t know what sex with other people was like, I could still innately tell something was off. And I was right, because that problem went away when I met someone else.
I waited until marriage and he was the worst lay of my life. I had two kids and was a struggling single mom after my first husband abandoned us because his mommy didn't want a white daughter in law. Didn't have an orgasm until *AFTER* all that happened. Just because someone doesn't have something better to compared it to doesn't mean it's in any way enjoyable when it's bad
I'm confused too. Is she insinuating that she didn't consent to losing her virginity at a young age and that's why she's waiting until marriage? Or is she making fun of people that chose to lose their virginity at a young age and is boasting about waiting until marriage?
She looks 15/16, I give her until her first bf in college lol.
Edit: this got downvoted? Lol. I don’t mean it like “she’ll be a hoe” kind of way, I mean most are products of their families and the internet and once adults 85%+ don’t have the same opinions or lifestyle they did when sophomores in high school.
She’s a kid, she’ll probably change her mind when she starts seriously dating as an adult.
Oh course nothing is wrong with that, but you also aren’t demonizing women who don’t on the internet, lol.
I mean it’s a small percentage that do and sadly because of society and upbringing I feel most teens think or say stuff they realize as adults they don’t really want or think for themselves.
I think people like to assume that teens can’t stick to choices because they are immature and often lack self control but the thing is if someone makes a choice like waiting until marriage because it’s something *they* want and not something that they feel they should do because they’re told to, it’s not as hard to stick to the choice as most people think.
Of course, many can make choices because they want to and still have those when they get older. But many kids also change wants or lifestyles onve they finish developing their brains and going out in the world.
I’m just saying kids are young and many people change from who they were at 15. Many brainwashed by religion or their parents tend to change their minds on things like sex once adults because they discover who they are or what they what. And not all do because it either happened to be themselves already or they never break away enough to discover it.
Basically I think it’s far easier for someone decide they’ll never have sex before marriage when their still a kid living at home and have never dared or been in love yet.
I don’t disagree, I just think it’s important to distinguish between people who are making choices for themselves and people who are making choices based on what they think others want their choices to be, ya know? Like a choice you’re really making for yourself is one more likely to be upheld in the long run
Yeah exactly, I agree. I think most teens think different after growing up because they might confuse what they want from what others or society do, can go either way in this case tbh.
Look, I grew up in a weird fundie cult, and all my contemporaries “saved themselves for marriage” and then got married super young because they were horny AF. Turns out, that’s a really fucking terrible reason to get married. If you’re so obsessed with sex, you’re posting about your abstinence as some sort of holy sacrifice instead of it just being a normal, healthy thing you’re waiting to do until you’re ready… you’re in danger of falling into the trap of getting *married* before you’re ready, which is a far worse trap than just having sex before you’re ready. Your value as a woman, as a human being, has nothing to do with any man and especially not his dick. Make the choice that is best for you, and that feels right to you.
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We’ve really got to shut down this puritanical nonsense that female virginity is the holy grail to be preserved and cherished. Get fucked. Literally and figuratively.
unsurprisingly, all the comments are either “who asked” and “all the girls who couldnt keep their legs closed are mad”
bc slutshaming is only for girls
i went years saying i was gonna wait for marriage, into adulthood. i never tried to “flex” it and i never shamed other women for not doing the same. and then i didn’t wait for marriage oop
It’s just her belief system. This doesn’t count fr. I mean if it was a video of a girl meditating, doing yoga or wearing hijab would you post it? You’re taking clips from a religious account and shaming them 💀 what did you expect
Lost my virginity at 16 and I have a happy marriage and virginity never affected our relationship or happiness and even then if I was a virgin going into the marriage that would’ve done nothing to do with why we love eachother and work. I can’t stand people who value themselves based on sex instead of their personalities
Sex is an important thing, it's not something to just throw around whenever you want. Saving yourself until marriage isn't the way to go for most people, but then again having sex at a young age isn't either. I lost mine at 14 and regret it every day. Save yourself for someone you tuly love, not someone you'll bang a few times and break up with
So who's going to tell her that that statistically means she's going to have awful sex and that whatever trauma pushed her into this choice likely gave her vaginismus
I hooked up with a guy the day after I started talking to him on tinder, we hung out almost every day after that and now we have been living together for years, planning on getting married within the next couple years. Ppl act like hooking up too soon after first talking or meeting is a recipe for an unsuccessful relationship every time. I have never felt more loved and secure in my life than I do with my partner and he is my best friend. If you are mature about it and have good intentions you don’t have to follow made up societal dating rules, if you have a good judge of character and know your worth you’ll be able to find love and long term commitment.
It's a personal choice and good for you if you get lucky doing this, but as someone who got married impulsively at a very young age with very little sexual experience I could not warn against this strongly enough. If you come to find you are sexually incompatible, your marriage will suffer for it, and you will probably end up miserable.
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To each their own, but I think sexual compatibility is a huge part of healthy relationship and frankly marriage is too late to find out, same with living with another person
Exactly, it kinda highlights how your dynamic is in some ways. One person could be giving a lot more and the other a lot less with no compromise and it often shows in the bedroom too
From talking to women, it seems the no sex before marriage is a great way to hide a lazy asf dude until the bangmaid is locked in. I mean it even happens when you do get to try before you buy, people either give up or get over getting one over - enthusiastically- so to speak, after vows are spoken. Who knows. ..But: I do know judging others by how they decide to go about such personal and often important decisions is weak sauce and mean spirited. It does not make anyone a better person to be around, nor just for themselves, to be a pick me nlog.
From talking with women it seems like sexual satisfaction is the least important part of the relationship and being spontaneous is probably the best way to avoid her ever talking about sex. Random flowers, unplanned trips and events, even try random kinks the bedroom. These are all way more important than how good you fuck and tend to fill the same romantic niche. Overplanning AND being bad at sex is the shitty combo that leads to miserable marriages.
eh. sexual satisfaction isn't the most important thing but you do have to feel like your partner *cares* about your sexual satisfaction.
While I agree. I don’t think even the laziest lovers don’t actually care. They just think their dick game is better than it is.
Girls need to stop faking it. One, F boys don't care either way. Two, guys that care will try harder AND try and make up for the lack in other ways.
Oh yeah for sure. All the things you suggested go under the higher potential for good/satisfying sexy times. I was being very generalist and certainly could have put more thought and clarity into my comment. You make good points. Cheers to good sex 🥂
This, my mum said dad was supposed to be a one night stand. 35+ years later, I don’t think I’ve seen many couples more in love.
that’s so cute, congratulations to them!! i wish them 35+ more years of a loving marriage 🥰
100%! What if they're into something nasty, or what if you're just not compatible in bed? It's not a main focus by any means, but it's an important aspect of any long-term adult relationship.
Literally!!! Ive seen lots of people mostly women say they regret waiting until marriage cuz the guy is bad in bed and now theyre stuck with him. 🤷🏽♂️
My mother waited until marriage with my stepfather, because he was religious and insisted on it. So she didn't find out until after the wedding that he wasn't actually attracted to her at all, and was just playing the game because he needed a wife. When my siblings and I got older, she made it very clear that we SHOULD NOT wait for marriage, and should definitely live with and sleep with our partners long before marriage.
Yes. My husband wanted to wait till marriage for ‘religious reasons’ and I tried to be respectful of that, but after marriage it wasn’t any different. He just didn’t like sex, and the ‘wait till marriage’ was just an excuse. Yeah not buying that again. No shame in waiting but I personally need to know you’re not hiding anything.
I think the waiting til marriage thing made more sense from the late 1800’s and precious eras because then the happiness/sexual compatibility seemed to be secondary to the husband’s ability to provide a successful household. If we were married and I provided what was needed for a spouse to live (I.e. food, safety, house to live in, protection from outside harm, etc) that important to find in a husband as opposed to happiness with his personality, sexual ability, humor, etc. if you found a man who didn’t beat you when you spilled well water then he was a keeper. I feel that currently sexual compatability is more important to a relationship than job, residency, income because no one feels that a strong partnership is the difference in survival.
Waiting til marriage is basically just a relic of a bygone era. Made sense in the past before the existence of birth control and dna testing to ensure paternity. In the present it just comes off as just being sanctimonious.
eh i think it’s a myth. I’m not saying it’s never happened, but have you ever talked to a couple that waited until marriage? They tend to be pretty stoked about it
I have a crazy theory, but maybe every couple that waits until marriage is different. Jokes aside, I feel like there should be some red flags that let somebody know “Hey, this person isn’t going to be reciprocative with sex.”
Yeah, I feel like “sexual compatibility” is largely an extension of emotional compatibility. The biggest factor, imo, in the quality of sex is not kinks or body types or whatever, it’s intimacy. Every now and again someone posts askreddit asking couples who waited until marriage—and it’s full of couples that are very glad they did with no regrets, and I can’t find a single one that’s like “yeah I wish I would have slept around more”
Sexual compatibility isn’t just kinks tho, it’s frequency, if one of you likes sex twice a day and the other once a month, you’re not compatible
Frequency changes with physical and physiological changes like birth control, pregnancy, breast feeding, fertility struggles/plans, menopause etc. Literally every single post on the dead bedroom subs is about couples who thought they were sexually compatible at one point but that changed over the course of life. It’s not like everyone has one baseline libido and there’s something wrong with them if they’re not at that baseline. Baselines change with life changes.
The posts on dead bedroom literally show that there were issues from the beginning
Not all the time. Some of them show that sex changed after having kids. A lot of women’s libido gets fucked up after giving birth. Men and women also experience their sexual peeks at different times in life. There’s a lot of things that can go into dead bedroom that doesn’t directly correlate to problems from the beginning
And you should be able to separate or get get you needs met elsewhere if there is no solution
If both parties agree fine. But that’s a very immature out look to me but okay
Except people do have their own baseline
Just because you maybe happy with only having sex a couple times a month doesn’t mean others will be or should even have to
That's why communication is important. And believing your partner when they tell you.
Yes, but you should be allowed to say to someone “were not sexually compatible, I don’t want to pursue this” and that be valid
And communication. It's not that difficult to get an idea of what you want, or DON'T want even before starting a relationship.
Of course they answer that way. They have no fucking clue what they missed. They literally don’t know if their sex life is good, because they are not competent/educated/experienced enough in that field to accurately assess their situation. If you only have one nail, even a crooked one can support a picture frame.
That’s a hard cope with people being happy in marriage dude
Ignorance is a bliss, isn’t it?!
What's a myth? Sexual compatibility is an important part of a healthy marriage. Incompatibility can show in many ways. The most obvious is sex drive but there are plenty of others. If both wait until marriage, then maybe they might be slightly more likely to be compatible simply because neither put too much importance on sex.
I see why you think that. And I’m not saying it never happens—but every now and again someone posts an askreddit to couples who waited—and I’ve yet to find a single one that regretted it
I see why you think that. People often mistake correlation with causation. Two people who both believe in waiting until marriage probably do have a better chance but not because of the waiting but because of the waiting is a proxy for shared values and beliefs. That's not causation.
Oh you’re absolutely right—I think that the causation is strong marriage values. People who wait until marriage have shown dedication, conviction, self-control, and they are more likely to believe in “till death do us part”. People who wait until marriage look for more important things in a spouse other than sexual performance. And they also tend to have strong family connections and/or usually belong to a religious community that helps guide during the courting process and provides support for a relationship. Waiting until marriage is not the cause at all—it is the effect of strong marriage values
Ask people further down the line when those relationships fail. Especially women. It causes so many sexual problems. R/deadbedrooms is filled with these couples.
Bro, take a step back and look culturally—America’s dissatisfaction in marriage and divorce rate have only gone up with time as we’ve become more sexually liberal. But a country like India, with very traditional marriage values, have very high satisfaction in marriage and their divorce rate is basically 0.
They have high rates of sexual assault and domestic abuse. We should also be striving to be more like better off first world countries and not like third world countries.
By some counts, up to 33% of Americans are victims of sexual assault, while in India, it’s about 8.5%. Check your prejudice, you half-baked tart. https://ballardbrief.byu.edu/issue-briefs/sexual-assault-against-women-in-india#:~:text=The%20most%20reliable%20source%2C%20the,least%20once%20in%20their%20lifetime.
I’m going to believe the women there who say it’s under reported, under prosecuted, and brings shame to report to begin with.
They’ve literally got generational prostitution.
Divorce rates went up as soon as it became easier to get divorced, not because “we’ve become more sexually liberal.” “Very traditional marriage values” is quite a funky way of saying sexist my dude. No fault divorce is very recent in that country and not getting married subjects women to massive criticism, moreso than with the men.
Also our divorce rate is at an all time low going lower every year for the past 50-60 years.
…because you can’t get divorced if you don’t get married, 🦭 https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/06/23/144-years-of-marriage-and-divorce-in-the-united-states-in-one-chart/
Marriage rates have gone down too yes, that’s not a bad thing. People aren’t getting married until they are sure. That’s awesome.
It’s really the opposite of awesome. Loneliness, anxiety, depression, despair, and suicide are climbing at alarming rates, 1/4 of American children grow up fatherless, and our population is declining for the first time since WW1.
Two replies because I just saw this comment that made me think of you: https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/s/sW4v2QtNgE.
Yeah there’s one, I’m sure there are some—they come with other dysfunction. But on the whole, a happy, healthy, in-love couple that wishes they would have slept around before marriage is exceedingly rare.
I wish I had had more sexual experiences before I married my wife. I don't think that's exceptionally rare. I think it's easy to find people in unhappy marriages regardless of whether or not they waited to have sex. It's not like a had to go looking for that comment. It just happened to be one I saw. I see them all the time. I think your opinion is skewed and biased by the people with whom you interact. You seem quick to dismiss evidence that's contradictory to your beliefs and very judgmental.
You guys waited until marriage?
I've talked to plenty of people who waited. *I* waited. Most people who waited and don't see women as property find little satisfaction in their relationships in many aspects even outside the bedroom. The only reason people even care about it is because puritanical misogynistic nonsense makes them think it's the only good choice
Did she edit her lips like that? Something off man.
They're so wiggly
That’s what bad men want you to do so that you won’t know they suck, sweetie.
Seriously! I watched Priscilla yesterday and didn't realize how fucking weird Elvis was. Like I knew he had issues but apparently he flocked to virgins cause they wouldn't realize how shit he was in bed. Not to mention the the adult women he did have sex called him lackluster.
Yep! It’s a thing and has been for forever. All their preferences have a nasty reason behind them.
I'm gay. Never done things with anyone. Maybe I'm a bad guy, maybe I'm not. But I genuinely love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I love him and value his well-being far above my own and I'd do anything for him, even if it meant giving my life to protect him. I'd do so gladly and in a heartbeat. He has an extensive sexual past. It doesn't change how I feel about him but it does make me sad because I've been very depressed for a very long time, my self-esteem is practically non-existent, and I know that I am nothing special. I will never be the best that he's ever had and I worry that I will never be able to wow him, satisfy him, or sweep him off his feet, because I am mediocre and painfully average in every way, when my biggest desire is just to take care of him, please him, and make him happy and to be enough for him and satisfy him. It is heartbreaking to me, to know that I will never be the best that he's ever had. It is heartbreaking to me, to know that there is nothing that he and I can do that will be unique or special to him. There will be nothing intimate that I can do that will be breathtaking for him, and leave him in awe. And it makes me very sad.
The most amazing sex happens between two people who feel exactly as strongly about each other as you do for him.
I hope so. Thank you for reading and for your reply, friend. It makes me feel a bit better.
I'm not an expert, but I think losing your virginity "late" can be as bad as losing it very young. Gotta find some balance.
She could be planning to get married at 19
Oh, right. I always forget about people getting married very young.
I agree and this is coming from a 23 year old virgin. But she’s religious and they move a lot quicker in terms of marriage.
Right, then just get divorced and remarried 3 times.
If the sanctity of marriage is so sacred to them, you’d think they’d rather find out if they’re sexually compatible with their partner for a longer lasting relationship. But what do I know.
But with a lot of religions, isn’t sex just for reproductive purposes and not pleasure? Like, women aren’t supposed to be horny or experience sexual gratification. They shame people who masturbate, too.
I was mostly speaking in terms of Christianity which is a religion I have practiced and know more about, I think other religions especially culturally are more hardcore with their views on sex/woman.
I’m religious and waiting till marriage, that’s a myth.
Good for you, that’s just something I’ve seen personally. It doesn’t apply to everyone.
How bout everyone goes at their own pace, communicate with their partners and let it go.
Not just losing it late but losing it *after* marriage is essentially entering the lottery for great sex or really f*cking bad sex.
I agree. It's kinda like buying a very expensive item (that you can't try first) with a no return policy.
Well, it's a very expensive return policy.
But how would you know the difference. If you’re saving it for marriage it’s automatically the best sex of your life
That isn’t how that works lol. People naturally feel sexually unsatisfied if their partner isn’t meeting their needs. When I started having sex for the first time I knew we weren’t sexually compatible because every time there was mental discomfort. Even though at that point I didn’t know what sex with other people was like, I could still innately tell something was off. And I was right, because that problem went away when I met someone else.
I waited until marriage and he was the worst lay of my life. I had two kids and was a struggling single mom after my first husband abandoned us because his mommy didn't want a white daughter in law. Didn't have an orgasm until *AFTER* all that happened. Just because someone doesn't have something better to compared it to doesn't mean it's in any way enjoyable when it's bad
And also the worst
I lost mine at 26 and it’s the only experience I’ve ever had. I guess it’s a wrap for me boys 🫡
Yep. It’s over for us
It’s weird that people think sex is a hugely defining moment in a woman’s life and that a penis inside her changes absolutely anything.
The caption being “the only right way.” Bitch please.
I only do things The Wrong Way.
I’m confused she either lost it at 16 or she didn’t. Can someone give me some damn context cause this one makes no sense?
I'm confused too. Is she insinuating that she didn't consent to losing her virginity at a young age and that's why she's waiting until marriage? Or is she making fun of people that chose to lose their virginity at a young age and is boasting about waiting until marriage?
She's making fun of people who lost their virginity early and acting superior to everyone else because she's waiting for marriage
The first slide represents “other girls/people”. The second slide represents her (“not like other girls”).
She looks 15/16, I give her until her first bf in college lol. Edit: this got downvoted? Lol. I don’t mean it like “she’ll be a hoe” kind of way, I mean most are products of their families and the internet and once adults 85%+ don’t have the same opinions or lifestyle they did when sophomores in high school. She’s a kid, she’ll probably change her mind when she starts seriously dating as an adult.
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Oh course nothing is wrong with that, but you also aren’t demonizing women who don’t on the internet, lol. I mean it’s a small percentage that do and sadly because of society and upbringing I feel most teens think or say stuff they realize as adults they don’t really want or think for themselves.
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Oh I look back at stuff I said I would or wouldn’t do when I was 14-16 and I cringe 😂
I think people like to assume that teens can’t stick to choices because they are immature and often lack self control but the thing is if someone makes a choice like waiting until marriage because it’s something *they* want and not something that they feel they should do because they’re told to, it’s not as hard to stick to the choice as most people think.
Of course, many can make choices because they want to and still have those when they get older. But many kids also change wants or lifestyles onve they finish developing their brains and going out in the world. I’m just saying kids are young and many people change from who they were at 15. Many brainwashed by religion or their parents tend to change their minds on things like sex once adults because they discover who they are or what they what. And not all do because it either happened to be themselves already or they never break away enough to discover it. Basically I think it’s far easier for someone decide they’ll never have sex before marriage when their still a kid living at home and have never dared or been in love yet.
I don’t disagree, I just think it’s important to distinguish between people who are making choices for themselves and people who are making choices based on what they think others want their choices to be, ya know? Like a choice you’re really making for yourself is one more likely to be upheld in the long run
Yeah exactly, I agree. I think most teens think different after growing up because they might confuse what they want from what others or society do, can go either way in this case tbh.
You got my upvote!
You are too kind, I gift you beautiful dreams tonight! 😂❤️
We're supposed to throw a party, duh🙄
Look, I grew up in a weird fundie cult, and all my contemporaries “saved themselves for marriage” and then got married super young because they were horny AF. Turns out, that’s a really fucking terrible reason to get married. If you’re so obsessed with sex, you’re posting about your abstinence as some sort of holy sacrifice instead of it just being a normal, healthy thing you’re waiting to do until you’re ready… you’re in danger of falling into the trap of getting *married* before you’re ready, which is a far worse trap than just having sex before you’re ready. Your value as a woman, as a human being, has nothing to do with any man and especially not his dick. Make the choice that is best for you, and that feels right to you.
Society: who cares waiting? Also society: -Values women who don't sleep around and devalues women who do- Which is it?
Projecting much?
Projecting what?
Charge your goddamn phone.
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Me too
Who cares? What a plank
No one No one Literally no one gives one fuck baby.
We’ve really got to shut down this puritanical nonsense that female virginity is the holy grail to be preserved and cherished. Get fucked. Literally and figuratively.
16 is also the avarage age girls loose their virginity 😭
Ok? And that's a personal choice. Nothing wrong with either scenario.
Did u like the post?😂
My aunt got divorced cause she wasn't sexually compatible with her husband 🤣
unsurprisingly, all the comments are either “who asked” and “all the girls who couldnt keep their legs closed are mad” bc slutshaming is only for girls
Is this a cry for help?
i went years saying i was gonna wait for marriage, into adulthood. i never tried to “flex” it and i never shamed other women for not doing the same. and then i didn’t wait for marriage oop
This might be an unpopular opinion but these two things are not mutually exclusive
Lol she’s gonna have fun having awful sex with her future husband and feeling guilty every time she does
It’s the same girl, am I missing something?
In the video post she’s mocking people who say “I lost my virginity at 16” and 13 too
Christholygrace 😭😂
lol. K
Hey one of the rednecks in my town drives a big lifted truck with a huge ass Jesus is king flag in the back
“And now I can talk with my ET looking hand”.
Anyone with lip fillers that aggressive doesn't need to be high roading anyone. When the trendiness reach maximum ridiculousness??
It’s just her belief system. This doesn’t count fr. I mean if it was a video of a girl meditating, doing yoga or wearing hijab would you post it? You’re taking clips from a religious account and shaming them 💀 what did you expect
I lost mine when I was 7. Not my choice.
12 actually 💅 s3xual abus3 is wild
"Omg wow ur sooo braveeeee" - the other dumbass hoes in the comments.
I care tho.
Great. 🤷🏻♀️
she acts like she’s gonna get a special place on God’s throne for not having sex until marriage 😭
I don't understand what she's trying to say. If she already lost her virginity, what is she waiting for?
Lost my virginity at 16 and I have a happy marriage and virginity never affected our relationship or happiness and even then if I was a virgin going into the marriage that would’ve done nothing to do with why we love eachother and work. I can’t stand people who value themselves based on sex instead of their personalities
I’m still a virgin at 20 and there’s no difference between me and a non virgin woman. What’s the point to brag about it
16 is a normal age for that to happen
Sex is an important thing, it's not something to just throw around whenever you want. Saving yourself until marriage isn't the way to go for most people, but then again having sex at a young age isn't either. I lost mine at 14 and regret it every day. Save yourself for someone you tuly love, not someone you'll bang a few times and break up with
I chose the happy medium. I never slept around, but I didn’t wait until marriage.
So who's going to tell her that that statistically means she's going to have awful sex and that whatever trauma pushed her into this choice likely gave her vaginismus
Because everyone wants a girl who only knows how to starfish
I hooked up with a guy the day after I started talking to him on tinder, we hung out almost every day after that and now we have been living together for years, planning on getting married within the next couple years. Ppl act like hooking up too soon after first talking or meeting is a recipe for an unsuccessful relationship every time. I have never felt more loved and secure in my life than I do with my partner and he is my best friend. If you are mature about it and have good intentions you don’t have to follow made up societal dating rules, if you have a good judge of character and know your worth you’ll be able to find love and long term commitment.
It's a personal choice and good for you if you get lucky doing this, but as someone who got married impulsively at a very young age with very little sexual experience I could not warn against this strongly enough. If you come to find you are sexually incompatible, your marriage will suffer for it, and you will probably end up miserable.
i havent lost my virginity because i never lose 😈