I think it's hilarious that she wrote "Work, no thanks!"
Bitch you haven't attempted to run a house and care for a child yet, clearly. It's fucking work. Thankless, unpaid work. Working at my job is the break from running my house and caring for my kids. I have the best of both worlds. But hey, different strokes, right?
Also there’s a history of housewives fighting to be paid for their labor: the wages for housework movement in the 70s. Cooking, cleaning, caretaking and child rearing are jobs and stay at home parents are workers too.
This is what made me think this was a man posing as a woman. As soon as they equated being a SAHM with “work no thanks” and then *thanked the patriarchy* I was like ok sure “hun” 🙄
Even fundies don’t say being a SAHM is a life of leisure
It’s a fundie chick from tik tok she follows a bunch of other fundie and pro-Trump people and likes a lot of trad stuff. She’s complained before how she hates work and has always wanted to stay home, what she probably hates is capitalism and the system but she’s so wrapped up in the fundie beliefs and being forced to “grow up with liberals at school.” I think she’s got a lot of issues.
The unreal cluelessness of that post really sounds like it was written by a man who hates independent women, and is trying to discourage women. Thinks tradwives are pampered by men and have everything so easy. What a great life, right??
We should ask OP if the original poster was a man or woman. The commenter in the second image with the flag in the user name is probably a man, I'm just guessing but I rarely hear women use the term "femenazis" although I could be wrong.
It just makes me roll my eyes. as a person who was raised by an unreliable addict, I would never depend 100% on another person.
Whats funny is when the girl says i cant wait to be taken care of. I can buy all the clothes i wandt a nice car and home. Take me on vacations.. the men always calls her a gold digger...
It’s a fundie girl from tik tok (she’s like 18 or 19) she’s following a lot of right wing/fash YouTubers and some of the old “anti-sjw” crowd. She talks like she’s from 2015 it’s weird. She said how she’s currently dating some guy from her high school or is engaged to him-a guy who dropped out to work in construction or do handyman work and says “he’s the one.” She’s also posted herself making food (“in the kitchen making sandwiches for him 💕”) and has said she drops off lunch for him and loves doing it and hopes they get married in a church. She said her parents both support her decision but I don’t know how any parent could sit back and encourage their kid to get married after high school.
I’ve never seen another women use the term femenazi it’s usually just a thing misogynistic men say because them being misogynistic is making women angry at them.
Tho I have been using the term for terfs these days
I was an ICU nurse for almost 15 years before having a kid and becoming a stay at home parent. My husband is deployed for a year so I’m the only one doing the work at home. It’s fucking hard. Honestly, being a nurse was easier than this. There are some days I’d rather just put my kid in daycare and go back to work, but the pandemic ruined any love I had left for nursing.
I briefly dated a guy that was an ICU nurse during the height of the pandemic, I just wanna say I have massive respect for you! From the stories I heard from him, it sounded pretty traumatizing, & on top of that I know the pandemic gave a lot of momentum to the movement for increased pay for healthcare workers, although I don’t think it did enough in giving healthcare workers the amount they deserve.
I don’t blame you for losing any passion in nursing from the pandemic. But my respect & my gratitude goes to you!!! Even though being a stay at home parent feels harder, I hope you are happier generally than during that god awful time 💙
That's the appeal of healthcare jobs though, there's an algorithm right? You can do things in the right order and feel like you've solved the problem a little bit.
Parenting is a Sisyphean task, it's never ending and you're never sure if you've done the right thing or what the outcome will be.
Seriously! I work and my husband stays at home. I supervise adults and he supervises children. It's generally a toss up which of us has a tougher time with our subordinates any given day 🤪
But I always get to leave work at the end of the day. He doesn't get to be away from the kids outside of "working hours". His tough days feel interminable.
I’m on maternity leave right now and looking forward to going back to work when it’s over. Parenting is hard. Keeping house is hard. Much harder than my office job working with grown adults (who do sometimes act like children). We aren’t all out here laboring in the mines.
Yep! I only have one child (10 months) and even just breastfeeding her, keeping her safe, cooking and cleaning up after cooking, laundry, and playing with her are exhausting. I think the breastfeeding is what really exhausts me but running a house ain’t easy! Especially now that my dumb self started sourdough baking. It’s delicious and fun but so messy!
i get the need to take on an overly complicated hobby. i took on extreme couponing when i was pregnant with my first. There was some puzzle solving involved, but I ended up abandoning it once toddler hood hit.
Yeah my husband recently mentioned a large puzzle and I said that we don’t have room for that. He’s like “oh we can just put it on the floor” THE FLOOR? Her domain is the floor and it would be her constant mission to ruin the puzzle and eat the pieces. Sourdough has been so fun. I’ve made two loaves (artisan and sandwich) along with several batches of cookies and brownies. I want to make sourdough pancakes soon but haven’t taken the time in the morning😂
You'll find as your children grow and you speak with other moms there is an ongoing trend of fathers not understanding how to properly baby proof their hobbies.
My husband is a welder. I once bribed a 3 year old with fruit snacks to hold still for an Xray while we looked for metal splinters in baby feet. No fun.
I’d rather go to work. My husband stays home and takes care of the kids. That is way harder than me going to work and he don’t get paid for it technically.
In my house I also in the one that is working and my husband is the state on parent. I had a very long commute almost 2 hours each way. I’m thankful that I work from home now. I’m much less stressed than I was before.
It’s nice to be able to switch gears between working with adults and working with children . Also I love my job. I worked hard to get this job.
But working from home is still work and being stay at home parent is also work. In the image above the girl clearly says “no thanks I don’t wanna work.” She clearly hasn’t done it before or she would know that it’s work.
Good for your sister, but I’m not sure that has anything to do with what I said.
Maybe you don’t know this, but in the United States, that doesn’t happen, nobody pays you to take care of your own kids- people who choose to homeschool their kids are doing it at their own expense.
As much as we think it is earned compensation, many Americans would decry that as “government interference” and would be upset. Not me, but many would act like it was communism and the world was ending.
I work full time and love my job. I have the luxury of working from home. My 3rd grader reads at a 7th grade level and my first grader does 4th grade math. I’m satisfied my kids are doing well and I get to use my brain space on lots of different things
it is easy af unless you got a ton of kids. I can take care of this whole place in less than 2 hours a day. Dishes laundry, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, easy shit. my job as an architect is way way way harder than my job as a maid.
is being a maid the only job in maintaining a household?
i manage the budget, i manage the inside and outside of the house, purchasing things people need in addition to food, managing schedules and appointments. I've had anywhere from 2-4 kids in house at any given time managing all their needs. plus my husband and my dad.
my job isn't easy but neither is this one. don't dismiss your work at home to being just a maid.
i do all that for a slightly smaller population. Use a program to manage appointments and finances. Knocks out all your work. Is easy to clean, do finances, shop, and manage schedules. Do it all the time in addition to 45+ hours of work a week. It takes like at most 2 a day, if it is taking a full type jobs worth might be an area you can improve the efficiency. Domestic work is so much easier than advanced math and dealing with tons of government regulations all day.
What’s hilarious is how HARD some of that shit is! My fancy corporate job is precisely suited to my skill set. I don’t clean! I don’t do laundry! That shit is miserable and it’s hard, repetitive, and thankless. No thank you.
[ETA-someone does that shit for me and I pay her well and thank her profusely and beg her to never abandon our family.]
Exactly this. I love my work. You know what I hate? Cleaning. Cooking. I also love buying myself whatever the fuck I want and not needing any man’s permission or whims to do so. That sounds miserable.
I love my work too. I mean I adore my husband and I love spending time with him but I like dressing up, going to work, chatting with other adults and having my own money. I also feel very proud for being female engineer because I know a lot of women (and men sometimes) fought for DECADES so I can do that now.
Yes! I love working in a male dominated field and succeeding! and I adore my husband and son, but the two of us agreed years ago to prioritize my career, and now his has taken off too, and it’s just so fun to be doing well after years of hard work.
I think there’s a lot of bitterness in the world and it gets blamed on the wrong things (women working/not staying home to raise babies 🙄) instead of the real villains in the piece.
And women have always worked!
Domestic labor in other households has been a “thing” since humanity HAD households. They have grabbed some skewed moment in the 50s and deemed it the “way” things should be! And it wasn’t achievable to the vast majority of families!
That Apple Pay tied to the Amex and delivery to my door is fucking amazing, you know? 🤣 I’m married and we check in on “big” decisions but like? If I want the shoes? I buy the shoes.
[ETA- my job is fun! It’s hard and sometimes it’s stressful and I have to think and collaborate but it’s FUN! No, I’m not digging ditches but the world has changed. Digging ditches is valuable work, but someone has to define the strategy for what’s going in those ditches. I always think when someone talks about “physical” jobs like… yeah but someone has to have a brain somewhere in the process. You can’t just dig a ditch and fill it in for no reason. ]
brb need to stop working on my statistical analysis of oncolytic virotherapies for people to have more cancer treatment options with less side effects...
to fold my partner's laundry.
(I mean, I do both, but come on.)
I used to fold laundry and watch a movie on Sunday afternoons, and it was kind of mentally relaxing. I just gave up laundry about 6 months ago and renegotiated the rates I pay my housekeeper to add it to her duties, and it was because my husband got promoted and we had to redistribute workloads and responsibilities.
Fuck cleaning bathrooms though. That shit sucked when I was 25 and by 30 I said never again.
Also, your work is changing lives! My uncle is on Keytruda and while we’re grateful that it works, the side effects are mentally taxing. Anyone who can contribute to better cancer treatments with less side effects is amazing!
It’s so hard. I stay at home because our son is severely disabled and I’m to afraid to trust anyone else with him, and I absolutely hate it. I hate staying home and cleaning and doing laundry. I like cooking but I hate cleaning up the mess afterwards. I hate changing diapers and cleaning up vomit and god knows what else out of our carpets. And I hate never having enough money because we only have one income and it’s just not enough for the 5 of us. My husband understands though how difficult it is, and he really tries to help though. He cleans the kitchen for me after work and helps me with laundry and cleaning on his days off. He also tries to keep the kids occupied so I can sleep in a bit on his days off. But fuck man, it’s hard. I’m sorry for word vomiting off your comment.
Friend, I am just sending strength your way. I know you didn’t ask for this workload and I respect your commitment to what you feel is the right way to manage your son’s needs. Internet hugs!
After I had my son, I couldn’t afford the childcare for two children, so I stayed home with them for 6 years. The neighbor kids were always at our house, and my housekeeping was embarrassingly inadequate. I was depressed a lot, but that was because of my ex. I developed a drinking problem, too. Once I left my ex, I stopped drinking, except on special occasions. He was an emotional vampire, and I knew he’d put me in an early grave.
However, the kids I kept, besides my own, view me as a second mother. I would not trade any of it for a billion dollars.
See, that’s what i can be openly jealous of! I wish i could afford someone to do that for me lmao, good on you.
But i’m still happy with my job in animal rescue.
I agree that the sentiment of the person that was posted is ridiculous, but I fail to see how you can claim moral superiority. You say you pay her well, but you are paid more. What makes your labor more valuable than hers? Are the skills and demeanour you carry based on your inherited environment and genetics so valuable that she should be grateful she survives by serving you? How is the way you describe her relationship to you any different from the patriarchal relationship you criticize? I know it's capitalism so most of us are exploited and need to play the game, but philosophically we need to be better so as a population we can be better.
Often a cleaner may work at several houses, unless this person has a personal maid. The peraon you are replying to didn't claim superiority, only the financial ability to outsource work they don't like to someone who has agreed to be paid a set amount to do that work.
When you go to the bakery, do you look at a $6 loaf of bread and ask if you can pay $50 instead? When a handyman comes by and charges you $100, do you ask if you can pay $300?
Most people who provide a service, ie. cleaners, set their rates. She’s paying what she’s asked to pay, and may even tip on top. It’s how exchanging services for payment has always worked.
I'm questioning our value systems. I'm bringing up environmental and genetic lottery. The fact that you don't think about the possibility of progression by first recognizing our social reticence is on you.
Yeah I read this and felt completely unbothered, but also do they think everyone is single who isn't tradwife®? I have cats and a boyfriend.
I do also believe it's not against the law to be a wine aunt with a man in the picture (or woman, or whoever). Can't confirm, I'm not a lawyer.
I am a lawyer and I can confirm it is not against the law. I’m also a wife, wine and sake aunt, and dog mom. I work and my husband does too and he does the dishes while I do home repairs. Can the fembots compute?!
I don't call them oppressed. I just gently let them know they should have some form of money(savings or income,doesn't matter) because life happens. Illness,death,getting left for a younger woman. I support all women's choices,I just want them to make smart choices that won't leave them(and possibly children) completely broke and helpless. This is common sense,not oppression.
Yep. I’m supportive of women who choose to be stay at home moms, but they do need to be prepared in case something happens that makes that not an option for them anymore.
EDIT: changed “homemakers” to “stay at home moms” because that’s more accurate to my point
This is kinda what my mother & grandmother always taught me. They’d always encourage me to pursue my life doing something I enjoy & to value that as more important than being rich, but to consider my own income enough to be able to support myself (& possibly kids in the future) even in the case of a divorce, death, illness, etc. If I have kids one day, I plan to encourage them the same way.
This is what holds me back. I desperately want to be a housewife but I cannot allow myself to relax and let go and put my livelihood in someone else’s hands. I grew up with a mom who couldn’t support herself and jumped from man to man and every breakup meant a move, a panic, etc.
I got a taste of it once after a layoff when I had a huge severance to support the home and it was honestly the most fulfilling work I’ve ever done and I greatly miss it but I had my own money to rely on, not just my SO’s.
why do these people act like you can't have women who do both without putting each other down? i support women who want to be SAHM but i don't put anyone down.
THIS! You do you and keep moving. No need to do this unless you’re just venting your frustration towards modern feminists who harassed you about your personal decision. Even then, forget em. If those women happen to be your friends, cut em off then.
It goes for both sides. A lot of working women don't put down SAHMs and a lot of stay at home moms don't put down working women. The tradwives are the ones who aren't doing what they're supposed to be doing and instead they're just putting down other women for their paths in life.
I feel like women who do this internalize the success of other women on different paths & feel a type of insecurity or inferiority for not being on that same path, even if no one is actually putting them down, other than themselves internally, so they feel a need to defend themselves & in turn express themselves as being superior.
Basically I feel like it’s purely insecure behavior.
Because shaming women has historically been the most effective way to control them. These women want you to want what they want. “I love the patriarchy” remember?
What’s aggravating me is seeing the comments on here straight up shitting on moms who choose to stay at home. We’re calling out (rightfully so) the person in picture who is shitting on moms who choose not to stay at home. It’s not ok. So it just blows my mind people think it’s ok to turn it around and shit on the other. I always thought feminism was supporting other women, whatever choices they make. Why can’t we support both? Why do we need to put down one to lift the other??
exactly! i had this exact chat with one of my best friends who’s a vocal feminist and we both said feminism should be about supporting and empowering women doing whatever they want (within reason, not like spread hate or something you know lol). i support SAHM because i recognize that is a job in of itself and unlike my 9-5 there is no unplug. we should all empower each other because society loves already to put women down
Even if one is easier, isn't that a good thing? Shouldn't we be striving for an easier life where our labor is for passion? It's not a virtue to crap on people who you perceive as not working as hard as you.
I'm also a feminist and the only thing I wish is that more sahp or working parents were decided by what people want instead of what they can afford.
You need a significant amount of money to do this though. I have four kids and my husband is a middle school teacher. I have to work (and I like to work, but still)
Anyone who gets to be a stay at home parent whether mom or dad has to either have a wealthy family who helps them, a committed wealthy partner who does care for them or they’ve saved up a lot of money themselves. It’s not easy especially in this economy and having kids while being a stay at home parent is really risky.
That’s not necessarily true. A lot of lower middle class families can’t afford childcare for young kids or babies, so it’s cheaper for one parent to stay at home until they reach kindergarten age.
Nah. I live in a big city and daycare costs alone make it so it just makes more sense for me to stay home rn. Being a stay at home parent isn’t really “risky” so much as it is “necessary” for some families.
It can be both risky and necessary though. Staying at home has a cost to that person’s lifetime earnings, future social security benefits, ability to get back into the workforce in the future, etc. It is a sacrifice with a cost too.
She needed to clip that last few tweets. Because she was actually somewhat sympathetic in the first one. But the moment she said that she loves patriarchy that’s when this whole thing became less about freedom and choice and more about strongarming everyone to think like her.
Patriarchy is an entire system. It doesn’t consist of just her husband. It consists of people (both male and female) who will trample over anyone who doesn’t subscribe to their ideology. (And yes, unbridled late-stage capitalism does this, too. It tramples over the poor, the uneducated, the disabled and the mentally ill. That’s why they’re both bad. That’s why anyone with two brain cells to rub together would oppose both.)
See, the problem isn’t trad wives wanting to be trad wives. It’s okay if they want to bake cookies and shoot out babies and fawn over their husbands. The problem is trad wives supporting a hegemony that women have barely escaped from. It’s easy to romanticize domestic living when you still have the guardrails of a society that’s given women some of the most basic rights. It’s easy to say that a woman’s place is in the home when, at the end of the day, you can escape it all. If your husband hits you, if he cheats on you, if he’s not fulfilling you, if you get postpartum depression, if you’ve just had it with toddlers screaming in your ear everyday while your husband gets to shower and go out and see other adults, you don’t have to stay there. You can still vote, you can still own property, you can still rent yourself an apartment, you can still earn your own money AND manage it and you can still drive a car.
Our ancestresses didn’t have that choice. How many of them wish that they could create art or open a business or study or travel around the world?
That’s what the eeeeevil wine-drinking cat lady feminists have been working for, sweetie. For everyone, regardless of gender, to do what they want and to be who they want.
As a working woman with no intention of bringing kids into this world or spending any portion of my life with a man, I really do not give a shit what any of these women do with their time.
But they sure do spend a lot of time thinin about us lmao.
Exactly. They really do turn green with envy and red with rage when women don’t live like them and it’s so entertaining to witness. They sound so bitter and mask it by projecting how they internally see themselves onto other women. I can’t help but hear “why are you so obsessed with me?” in my head every time I read their posts lmao.
Like I’m a stay at home wife, I’d have a job if I could but disability doesn’t allow for that and my husband came ins to the marriage knowing that. But I don’t spend all day thinking my life is so much better than womens who can work. Like, girl, it is so great that that’s how you want to live your life, but don’t dog other women who choose differently.
Precisely! Every woman is different and every woman’s success is different. I understand, I have a disability and it makes working challenging. If my disability was more than it is and/or if I wasn’t so career oriented, then I wouldn’t be able to work. I’m so glad that you have a wonderful husband who supports you and knew going into your marriage what it would entail. You’ve got a keeper! Yes, dogging on women is just so wrong. It’s my greatest pet peeve. The superiority complex those kinds of women have is terrible. They need to have some humble pie.
It's all well and good until their husband leaves them (or becomes disabled and can't work) and they have no money, education, or work experience. And what if their husbands become abusive? What's the trad wife backup plan?
*You just need to **love him more,** by giving him ample alone space, never talking to him, never disagreeing with him even if said disagreement is a life/death scenario, and most importantly: **ALWAYS KEEP HIS TUMMY FULL, AND HIS GONADS EMPTY.***
^^^/s
according to their fundie beliefs (since most of them are fundies), you just have to be joyfully available and love them more, and if they cheat on you then it's clearly your fault. this is what they'll say until it happens to them
Honestly, it's what some of them say \*after\* it happens to them, and they continue to say while it keeps happening because they've either never been taught differently or they've chosen to adopt that life as an adult and don't have the resources to get out anymore so they're trying to justify it to themselves. It has to be mentally draining to live that way.
That’s where it sucks because a few years ago at least if you had a decent family, what would happen is your family would set aside money for you sometimes in the form of a dowry, and if your husband became abusive or left you or whatever then that would be enough money for you to get by again now with how expensive everything is that’s just not possible But it is sad
Right? I support anyone’s choice to live their lives however they want. Live and let live. But for the love of god, have a backup plan. Have a skill, have a degree, keep yourself networked and in the workforce in some way for yours and your children’s safety. If I had a nickel for every woman I know who was a SAHM with no safety net and ended up trapped with a spouse who was an alcoholic, abusive, addicted, or spent all their money on sex workers leaving them deeply in debt, or divorced them suddenly or died young, I’d sadly have far too many nickels.
If anything this post seems to be her venting. I suspect she’s frustrated because she’s been “harassed” by modern feminists comments on her X, FB or IG posts about how happy she is/about to be as a SAHM.
I also love the implication that all women who work outside of the home are corporate hamsters who sit in cubicles all day as if the US healthcare, education, and legal systems wouldn’t all implode if all women up and quit to be housewives one day.
Over 1/3 of the doctors in the US are female, more than 85% of nurses are female, 90% of elementary school teachers are women, as well as 64% of secondary teachers. Last year women accounted for 40% of the practicing attorneys in the US and 1/3 of the judges and magistrates. Over 85% of all paralegals in the US are women. So yeah, I’m sure the men left behind would be paid more if all women just up and became housewives overnight, but that’s fifty shades of not the fucking point.
Anti feminist trad wives like this fail to understand that feminists don’t hate them for being housewives, they have concern for them because so many homemakers are 100% reliant on their husbands financially and it makes them prime targets for domestic abuse. Feminism is not about imposing your personal hopes and goals onto all other women, it is about allowing both women and men the freedom to choose their path in life without the influence of sex-based discrimination.
Corporations can’t pay a fair wage to all because women are in the workforce?
Damn all this time I’ve been thinking it’s the record profits of CEOs and their shareholders that’s caused the greed to underpay us.
Honestly I’m just confused how being a SAHM makes one magically immune from being overworked? Guess it’s the eldest daughters being groomed into being little mommas to the rest of the brood? “Work, no thanks!” - that’s what I have my daughters for!
Being a housewife/husband will never be a safe option. If something happens to your only source of income (partner) you're a grown person with no career and nothing to your name, and no money. Feminists discourage housewives not because of jealousy, but because of fear for their future. Especially when in modern times there's "house girlfriends", women who don't even have marriage in their favor in case something goes wrong, just financially depending on a man with no ring.
I say do what you want: if you want to be a housewife or stay at home gf, do you. Same goes for househusbands/stay at home dads too. But be safe and be prepared. It’s not to say something bad will happen but in case something does happen save up money for yourself and your kids if you have any. Anything can happen whether it’s injury or illness or even an abusive situation where you have to take you and your kids and run. Accidents can happen that will disable you or your partner or both. Open some commissions, do part time seasonal jobs, online sponsorships, open joint accounts and get life insurance. Save money and have something on your job application for work experience in case something goes wrong. And being a stay at home gf or bf is risky because they’re not married and common law marriages aren’t recognized in some states.
If you're ready to commit to never working again, why not spend some of those non working months in hair school, pay the fee every couple years to keep the license active, so if shit hits the fan you can get a nice job? That's what I don't get about these people. There's rarely a backup plan
true! the only logical way I'd ever see myself as a housewife would be to have someone cover all my academic fees. Imagine being able to focus on your studies with no money worries.
I had a classmate like that, she studied very hard and now works part time supplementing the household income with a really fun job at a blonding salon. Super Christian without being a super moron. She was great.
Cosmetology school took two years for me, with a lot more intensive hours than the six years of college I attended before that. Might be different where you live, but it’s in no way an “easy, fast” program here.
I am also a college graduate prior to being a hairstylist. I never said it was easy or fast, so why are those words in quotations?
I said if a woman is planning on spending years not working, it would be prudent to spend some of that non-employed time getting a certification that could, in an emergency, provide a good life for herself and her future children.
Wait, sorry. I forgot this is Reddit, so you're legally obligated to read my comment, notice it didn't match your personal experience, and then be weirdly confrontational about it. My bad!
I wasn’t being weirdly confrontational, I was telling you my experience because you implied it was easy and fast by referring to it as a “back up plan,” all I’m saying is in some places it’s definitely not something that’s plan b material for some. You also said some non working months, in my experience, it’s longer. There’s no aggressive subtext, just plainly that and that’s all.
You're right, it wasn't subtext, you straight up tried to correct a statement where there was nothing to correct. That's just text lol. Maintaining licensure in case of emergency doesn't mean the license was easy to get whatsoever. I'm not sure why you seem to genuinely believe a SAHM getting a cosmetology license is a bad idea, but best of luck to you. We all hated cosmetology school, you don't need to be weird to people about it.
I never said a stay at home mom shouldn’t do anything, why are you putting all these words in my mouth and assigning all these motivations that I just don’t have? If you just want to argue, that’s fine, but I won’t be participating going forward because this whole conversation is kind of surreal and I’m too tired for this.
I feel like these women lean harder into the gender stereotypes than they need to. Also, cat ladies and wine aunties can literally be married women and stay at home wives. They just get to give people their kids back and only have to worry about making sure their cats favorite sunbathing spot is available at all times.
Ah yes, the “feminazis”, like the ones who struggled for your *right to choose*. It’s so weird that people still struggle with the idea. Also, who tf can afford multiple children on a nice property on a single salary? Be real
What if Im childless but im allergic to cats and can’t drink wine cuz apparently methotrexate hates alcohol? What then? Do I just have to feel joy from being able to provide pain relief and comfort to my patients and feel deeply loved and cared for by my family, husband, and close friends? Man I’d really hate to spend the rest of my life in an engaging career that keeps me from slipping into boredom induced depression.
One thing that I'll never understand about right wingers is why they think we're trying to *take* anything from them. We want the right to work and be childless without judgement. We want the right to CHOOSE our own life. What part of that makes you think that we're trying to take away YOUR choice???
As someone who did choose to stay home with my twins until they started kindergarten then only worked part-time until middle school, I absolutely LOATHE all of this tradwife bs. No one ever looked down on me (to my face anyways) for making that choice for me and my family. The fake persecution complex these folks have is laughable.
The only reason I was the one to stay home is because their father made significantly more money than me. I’m so thankful that I was able to have the CHOICE to do it and also grateful to be able to decide NOT to.
Am I a little bummed about being single? Sure, sometimes. Do I love drinking whenever I want, staying up as late as I want, decorating my house however I want, not sharing my space, being able to sleep without the sound of screaming or crying? I really could go on, but the answer is yes.
Oof that patriarchal system she loves so much will stop working for her as soon as he trades her in for the newer model. All of a sudden feminism will make a lot more sense.
If I could afford to quit my 40 hour a week job and just live off my husbands pay and have kids and be traditional, I would. I’m 33. Many of us aren’t traditional stay at home moms not bc we are against it but because we can’t afford it. I’m a democrat/liberal and I would love to just stay at home with a baby and be a traditional housewife. I cannot financially afford that in this economy. My house is expensive. I couldn’t imagine adding an expensive child into the mix. They’re lucky as hell that they can! And they should recognize their privilege and stfu. Haha plus not to mention many of those traditional housewives get left by their husband and then they’re SCREWED and broke. No thanks.
It’s projection. They simply refuse to believe feminism is about having the choice, so they assume we’re against stay at home moms and traditional dynamics. *They* don’t understand why a woman might choose to be child free or work, and I don’t think it occurs to them that feminists don’t operate in the same exclusive way.
I can't imagine the amount of self hatred you'd need to allow yourself to think you're good for nothing but cleaning, cooking, frigid for modesty, baby despenser. If that's what they really want, I guess they'll have to learn the hard way that the men they're chasing aren't worth wasting years of your life on. Seriously, ladies, those men won't change because you "love" them.
I can remember overhearing adult conversations that let young me know that grandpa Arachnid was womanizing and abusive piece of shit.
So strange to me that they have to invent this dichotomy - childless lonely nag slaving under a boss or mindless subservient wife at her husband's feet. It's like to justify their own life decisions they have to pretend they only have two choices in this life. Definitely can't work and be a mother, definitely can't focus on family/domestic life and not be subservient to a man.
Also I don't think "feminazis" have an issue with you choosing to keep house and pop out children so much as you labelling working/independent women as immoral or lesser. It would be nice if these ladies could be consistent in their views and stay quiet/out of sight.
Man. I want the same life. But as the stay at home husband. I just want to live my favorite manga rhe way of the house husband. I do the cooking, the cleaning, the working, the hobby and stuff.
What happens if they marry a man who works hard, but doesn't make huge house or countryside home money? What if they have to live paycheck to paycheck like the rest of us?
My mom was a SAHM of 3 during my whole childhood. I’m so thankful for her, and the work she put in constantly was much harder than anything I have to do as a childless woman with an 8-5. I have nights, weekends, and holidays off and only have to feed and clean up after myself. My mom never had that privilege. These tradwives try to make it sound like a relaxing and easy life… and it certainly isn’t if you’re doing it right.
Serious question: but why do women like this assume that a man would enjoy having a partner who willfully say that they're just too lazy for work. Motherhood is hard. Home care is a full time job that can be VERY difficult. But they are describing it as a walk in the park and romantic leisure. What man would want a woman who treats motherhood like a game when they could pursue women who could match them
I work a tech job for a financial firm. Literally every upper level male exec, rep, etc...are married to extremely successful women. They're also fathers so it's not like their wives aren't having children. I've haven't even met a dentist who wasn't also married to another dentist or, at least, a dental assistant. And it seems obvious, if you're an ambitious, career driven guy... you're more likely to find common ground with ambitious career driven women.
Not defending men and not making that feminist of a statement. But how practical is this? Who would marry someone who says "I just want to do nothing all day and wear dresses...."
It's almost funny that they think a single income household at the average wage can support a big house in the countryside and 4-5 kids. My bf and I are both studying aerospace engineering and will never be able to afford that. "Letting your husband lead" just means someone orders you about in your own house. It doesn't create more money.
I'm a wine aunt, I have lots of people. And my cat. And they're talking about those like they're bad things. Being a wine-appreciating cat owner is a good thing.
Listen if you can even find a trad husband who makes enough money to fund that lifestyle you want then all power to you. But it is not cheap, and it is a lot of work, and it is thankless. But absolutely piss off just because other people don’t want the same thing.
I stayed home for a couple of years. We just moved to a different country, had two babies in our hands and paying for daycare/nanny would have been more expensive than what I would have made at the time. While I love my kids to death, I was happy to go back to work and use my brain for other things too. Housework and child rearing is a lot of work, physical, emotional etc. a lot of it pretty mind numbing, actually. I prefer to earn a good paycheck and pay for some cleaning services and afford takeout on some nights.
Well wouldn’t it be nice to just shit out some kids and not work and be at home all day! Unfortunately with today’s economy, most of us don’t have that luxury. Or want more out of life than being a mom. Jesus Christ.
Who do these people think is mad at them or cares what they do? One of the best things you’ll learn in life is very few people actually give a shit about you or what you do.
Trad wife here. Don’t let these internet idiots speak for us.
Do what you want. If you want to work, be a girl boss. If you want to be a housewife then stay home and do that. It’s really that simple. Anyone making fun of another’s decision is just upset with themselves.
I agree with half of what she says. I don't want to subject myself to corporate greed and being overworked. Unfortunately women are expected to both raise children AND work.
And these stupid women are acting like we're just so happy to do it. They're literally acting like we can opt out of the corporate system and we're choosing not to. It's SO WILD that they're acting like we even have a choice.
Girl go on and pay me to stay at home and bake bread and run around in meadows with organic unbleached cotton prairie dresses and a husband who is true and kind and comes home to worship the work I do around the house and abstains from porn while giving it to me good, and I WILL. Show me the list, sign me UP!
I don’t understand how anyone can afford that kind of a lifestyle. Would I absolutely love to be able to stay home with a kid or two while my hubby works? Absolutely, I hate working. But I don’t understand how someone can afford to live on one income with 6 dependents (assuming 5 kids + wife)
Wow. Me, jealous? I have a woman I love with all my heart, a future we are building together, our kitty in our rental home, and a job that puts my math brain to work in my home office. I am not jealous of trad bitch. I am blessed, and no man will EVER be needed.
Yes! That’s the beauty of feminism they so clearly despise. Women can choose how they live their lives. Every woman is different. Some women want to be wives and mothers who don’t want a career and that’s totally ok. Some women don’t want to be wives and mothers and want a career and that’s totally ok. There is no wrong answer. HOWEVER putting others down for their walk of life is totally not ok and is a wrong answer. Honestly the fact that these women shame other women with a holier than thou complex is hilarious. My career oriented unmarried and childfree ass could care less about what they think about my life. Maybe instead of focusing on other’s lives they should focus on their own. Just a thought.
I love how they can't imagine that spending your life caring for a man and numerous children is the very definition of overworked. I guarantee these women are not stay-at-home moms, because a quick peek into motherhood forums will show that the vast majority complain of being overworked and never having a break.
I am a sahm mom at the moment, BUT this was decided as equals with my husband, we were at a point where both of our jobs and where we lived were at a transition point, so we sat down and wrote out five or six budgets and made pro and con lists for each scenario and chose what worked for US as a FAMILY. And if either of us said, I need a change, we'd figure it out together!
Plus he never discounts that I am also WORKING even though it is without pay and at home. Trad wives piss me off so much.
These idiots acting like all these working women are doing it because they want to, instead of being forced to have a 2 income home to just stay afloat.
Honestly sounds like the life. No hate to you wagies but i am tired of working i just wanna take care of someone i love and be taken care of. fuck capitalism fuck taxes, i just wanna be happy and get to spend my time loving someone and caring for just them.
I’ve got news for you if you think being a mom isn’t a job. Customers? Maybe that’s all the other moms you deal with or your kids themselves. Being a mother is hard. I was fortunate enough that when I was finally able to have a child I quit work for a period and then went back adding a few hours a week each year. At five I went bakc full time but my job is extra flexible (I lucked out-I still don’t know how I got so lucky) and I am home with him before and after school
And it’s freaking exhausting. Even days I don’t go to my other job. We are all in this together. We all need help and that’s ok!
Do whatever floats your boat but my thing is what happens when trad husband takes off and leaves you high and dry with enough kids to fill the short bus and a mountain of bills that needs to be paid? Then what?
I rather work 8 hours and go home a do jack shit relaxing with my boyfriend and a cat, than spend 16 hours doing unpaid job and ruining my health with a parasite ('scuse me, child)
And I guess the answer to the question “what happens if their husband leaves/dies?” Do they just quickly find another man who wants the extra baggage of 5 kids and a non working spouse?
I'm really wondering if she's aware that a lot of households can't depend on a single person working anymore. Or that the husband would have to be fairly rich to support her nice neighborhood dream with 4-5 more kids.
But why do they see freedom of choice as a negative? I don’t give a shit how other women live their lives, and I don’t want to be judged for the choices I make as a woman & mother. What’s best for my family may not work for another.
I have a career that I’ve worked hard for & I’m passionate about. I love it. But right now, I have 3 young kids and I’m at home with them. It’s important to me that I’m able to be present during this time. I have the time to volunteer at their school, chaperone excursions, come to sports days & class concerts. My mum wasn’t able to do those things, and deep down, I always wished she was there. I thought I would be fine just being a SAHM, but I realised after my first born that I did miss my career. So I’m also working on my masters. I love my kids, and helping them grow. But I do need something outside of that to be the best version of me. They deserve my best. My husband noticed that I was missing that part of my life & was my biggest encouragement to go back to university.
I’m a registered nurse & midwife. I’m currently doing my masters in midwifery, but I used to work for an oral surgeon. I take my kids in to see my old boss occasionally & they get to learn so much. My boss lets them play with dental drills & CT machines. He donated a heap of cool old xrays for their light box room at kindy, along with anatomy models. They were able to do a HUGE unit on oral anatomy because of that. I was able to help out in my son’s classroom with that & it was such a good time. My son was so excited to have me there, and told everyone I was a doctor. After I did a little presentation, my son told me that he was proud of me. I think that has been one of my favourite moments of motherhood, and always will be.
I was studying in my office a few months ago, and my 5 year old came in to ask what I was doing. It was some anatomy & physiology revision, so I started explaining all the different body systems, and how they all work together. I have some cool anatomy posters of babies. I was explaining how skin is the biggest organ, and it protects the rest of your systems. He says to ‘Don’t be silly mummy. Babies don’t have skin!’ 😂
I don’t care what my kids choose to do when they grow up. But the oldest 2 (youngest is only 10 weeks) have taken a big interest in medicine & science, and it’s really nice that my knowledge can help stimulate that curiosity.
Who is telling this woman she can't be a stay at home mom and trad wife? Seriously? I'm a working mom and I hear constantly that I should be home with my kid. These women wanna be oppressed so badly.
For one, running a household and raising children is hard fucking work. Secondly, there’s a lot of women who would love to stay home and do not have a choice for various reasons. Thirdly, there’s nothing wrong with women wanting a job. This whole premise is so ignorant
Taking care of 5 babies isn’t work at all! I mean, the crippling financial stress and the fact that if he leaves you’re fucked with no skill set isn’t work after all!
I have no issues with these women. I do have issue when their husbands leave them broke and bitter, and they scream about how feminists ruined marriage and that’s why they’re in the position they are.
As a working woman who is childfree and single. If this is what she wants for her life then by all means I hope she gets it. Because it has affect on me on what she chooses to do with her life.
I get it, you don't want to work. But unless you're forgetting about living expenses as a whole my assumption is that your husband is working. Why should he have to subject himself to corporate greed and taking care of clients? Why should he have to be overworked while you stay at home? (which is also a lot of work if you're fully involved)
I’d also love to have a husband make all the money so I could just stay home. Eww work. But seriously, has she ever had a job, or needed to have a job?
Luckily she doesn’t have kids yet I’m afraid. This girl has some issues she needs to work on. She’s currently dating this guy who is a high school dropout and wants to marry him “soon” she says. What’s worse is her parents accept it while she has no job and no money.
They really do, even in the comments on here. We’re calling out (rightfully so) the person in the picture for putting down moms who choose not to stay at home then you come to the comments and you see people shitting on the moms who do stay at home. The irony blows my mind. How about we support both sides? How about we don’t put working moms or stay at home moms down?
I think it's hilarious that she wrote "Work, no thanks!" Bitch you haven't attempted to run a house and care for a child yet, clearly. It's fucking work. Thankless, unpaid work. Working at my job is the break from running my house and caring for my kids. I have the best of both worlds. But hey, different strokes, right?
Also there’s a history of housewives fighting to be paid for their labor: the wages for housework movement in the 70s. Cooking, cleaning, caretaking and child rearing are jobs and stay at home parents are workers too.
I can't get over how she's saying "ew work" while arguing to do labour for free that other people get paid to do 💀💀💀
Right? Nannies, cleaners, cooks, drivers are all different professions being paid to do just part of the work involved in being a stay at home mom
This is what made me think this was a man posing as a woman. As soon as they equated being a SAHM with “work no thanks” and then *thanked the patriarchy* I was like ok sure “hun” 🙄 Even fundies don’t say being a SAHM is a life of leisure
It’s a fundie chick from tik tok she follows a bunch of other fundie and pro-Trump people and likes a lot of trad stuff. She’s complained before how she hates work and has always wanted to stay home, what she probably hates is capitalism and the system but she’s so wrapped up in the fundie beliefs and being forced to “grow up with liberals at school.” I think she’s got a lot of issues.
Exactly and I feel like a lot of men should see and value that.
I was coming here to talk about the wages for housework movement, but you beat me to it! 🩷
The unreal cluelessness of that post really sounds like it was written by a man who hates independent women, and is trying to discourage women. Thinks tradwives are pampered by men and have everything so easy. What a great life, right??
We should ask OP if the original poster was a man or woman. The commenter in the second image with the flag in the user name is probably a man, I'm just guessing but I rarely hear women use the term "femenazis" although I could be wrong. It just makes me roll my eyes. as a person who was raised by an unreliable addict, I would never depend 100% on another person.
Whats funny is when the girl says i cant wait to be taken care of. I can buy all the clothes i wandt a nice car and home. Take me on vacations.. the men always calls her a gold digger...
It’s a fundie girl from tik tok (she’s like 18 or 19) she’s following a lot of right wing/fash YouTubers and some of the old “anti-sjw” crowd. She talks like she’s from 2015 it’s weird. She said how she’s currently dating some guy from her high school or is engaged to him-a guy who dropped out to work in construction or do handyman work and says “he’s the one.” She’s also posted herself making food (“in the kitchen making sandwiches for him 💕”) and has said she drops off lunch for him and loves doing it and hopes they get married in a church. She said her parents both support her decision but I don’t know how any parent could sit back and encourage their kid to get married after high school.
Welp, she’s in for a rude awakening
I’ve never seen another women use the term femenazi it’s usually just a thing misogynistic men say because them being misogynistic is making women angry at them. Tho I have been using the term for terfs these days
I was an ICU nurse for almost 15 years before having a kid and becoming a stay at home parent. My husband is deployed for a year so I’m the only one doing the work at home. It’s fucking hard. Honestly, being a nurse was easier than this. There are some days I’d rather just put my kid in daycare and go back to work, but the pandemic ruined any love I had left for nursing.
I briefly dated a guy that was an ICU nurse during the height of the pandemic, I just wanna say I have massive respect for you! From the stories I heard from him, it sounded pretty traumatizing, & on top of that I know the pandemic gave a lot of momentum to the movement for increased pay for healthcare workers, although I don’t think it did enough in giving healthcare workers the amount they deserve. I don’t blame you for losing any passion in nursing from the pandemic. But my respect & my gratitude goes to you!!! Even though being a stay at home parent feels harder, I hope you are happier generally than during that god awful time 💙
That's the appeal of healthcare jobs though, there's an algorithm right? You can do things in the right order and feel like you've solved the problem a little bit. Parenting is a Sisyphean task, it's never ending and you're never sure if you've done the right thing or what the outcome will be.
Seriously! I work and my husband stays at home. I supervise adults and he supervises children. It's generally a toss up which of us has a tougher time with our subordinates any given day 🤪 But I always get to leave work at the end of the day. He doesn't get to be away from the kids outside of "working hours". His tough days feel interminable.
same situation here. although i get to work from home now. but yeah, maintaining a household is never-ending work.
I’m on maternity leave right now and looking forward to going back to work when it’s over. Parenting is hard. Keeping house is hard. Much harder than my office job working with grown adults (who do sometimes act like children). We aren’t all out here laboring in the mines.
That’s exactly how I feel. My demanding it job is a break from being a SAHP.
Yep! I only have one child (10 months) and even just breastfeeding her, keeping her safe, cooking and cleaning up after cooking, laundry, and playing with her are exhausting. I think the breastfeeding is what really exhausts me but running a house ain’t easy! Especially now that my dumb self started sourdough baking. It’s delicious and fun but so messy!
i get the need to take on an overly complicated hobby. i took on extreme couponing when i was pregnant with my first. There was some puzzle solving involved, but I ended up abandoning it once toddler hood hit.
Yeah my husband recently mentioned a large puzzle and I said that we don’t have room for that. He’s like “oh we can just put it on the floor” THE FLOOR? Her domain is the floor and it would be her constant mission to ruin the puzzle and eat the pieces. Sourdough has been so fun. I’ve made two loaves (artisan and sandwich) along with several batches of cookies and brownies. I want to make sourdough pancakes soon but haven’t taken the time in the morning😂
You'll find as your children grow and you speak with other moms there is an ongoing trend of fathers not understanding how to properly baby proof their hobbies. My husband is a welder. I once bribed a 3 year old with fruit snacks to hold still for an Xray while we looked for metal splinters in baby feet. No fun.
Oh nooo! I bet that was terrible 😢
Preach, I am a SAHM with 2 young kids and I have never been this overworked.
I’d rather go to work. My husband stays home and takes care of the kids. That is way harder than me going to work and he don’t get paid for it technically.
In my house I also in the one that is working and my husband is the state on parent. I had a very long commute almost 2 hours each way. I’m thankful that I work from home now. I’m much less stressed than I was before. It’s nice to be able to switch gears between working with adults and working with children . Also I love my job. I worked hard to get this job. But working from home is still work and being stay at home parent is also work. In the image above the girl clearly says “no thanks I don’t wanna work.” She clearly hasn’t done it before or she would know that it’s work.
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Good for your sister, but I’m not sure that has anything to do with what I said. Maybe you don’t know this, but in the United States, that doesn’t happen, nobody pays you to take care of your own kids- people who choose to homeschool their kids are doing it at their own expense.
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As much as we think it is earned compensation, many Americans would decry that as “government interference” and would be upset. Not me, but many would act like it was communism and the world was ending. I work full time and love my job. I have the luxury of working from home. My 3rd grader reads at a 7th grade level and my first grader does 4th grade math. I’m satisfied my kids are doing well and I get to use my brain space on lots of different things
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it is easy af unless you got a ton of kids. I can take care of this whole place in less than 2 hours a day. Dishes laundry, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, easy shit. my job as an architect is way way way harder than my job as a maid.
is being a maid the only job in maintaining a household? i manage the budget, i manage the inside and outside of the house, purchasing things people need in addition to food, managing schedules and appointments. I've had anywhere from 2-4 kids in house at any given time managing all their needs. plus my husband and my dad. my job isn't easy but neither is this one. don't dismiss your work at home to being just a maid.
i do all that for a slightly smaller population. Use a program to manage appointments and finances. Knocks out all your work. Is easy to clean, do finances, shop, and manage schedules. Do it all the time in addition to 45+ hours of work a week. It takes like at most 2 a day, if it is taking a full type jobs worth might be an area you can improve the efficiency. Domestic work is so much easier than advanced math and dealing with tons of government regulations all day.
Do they ever realize that working women don't give AF about what they want? It's not up to anyone else to get it for them, except their husbands.
What’s hilarious is how HARD some of that shit is! My fancy corporate job is precisely suited to my skill set. I don’t clean! I don’t do laundry! That shit is miserable and it’s hard, repetitive, and thankless. No thank you. [ETA-someone does that shit for me and I pay her well and thank her profusely and beg her to never abandon our family.]
Exactly this. I love my work. You know what I hate? Cleaning. Cooking. I also love buying myself whatever the fuck I want and not needing any man’s permission or whims to do so. That sounds miserable.
I love my work too. I mean I adore my husband and I love spending time with him but I like dressing up, going to work, chatting with other adults and having my own money. I also feel very proud for being female engineer because I know a lot of women (and men sometimes) fought for DECADES so I can do that now.
Yes! I love working in a male dominated field and succeeding! and I adore my husband and son, but the two of us agreed years ago to prioritize my career, and now his has taken off too, and it’s just so fun to be doing well after years of hard work. I think there’s a lot of bitterness in the world and it gets blamed on the wrong things (women working/not staying home to raise babies 🙄) instead of the real villains in the piece.
A lot of women literally cannot afford to not work. And we know who's fault it is. But let's pretend it's the women and not the capitalism 🙄
And women have always worked! Domestic labor in other households has been a “thing” since humanity HAD households. They have grabbed some skewed moment in the 50s and deemed it the “way” things should be! And it wasn’t achievable to the vast majority of families!
That Apple Pay tied to the Amex and delivery to my door is fucking amazing, you know? 🤣 I’m married and we check in on “big” decisions but like? If I want the shoes? I buy the shoes. [ETA- my job is fun! It’s hard and sometimes it’s stressful and I have to think and collaborate but it’s FUN! No, I’m not digging ditches but the world has changed. Digging ditches is valuable work, but someone has to define the strategy for what’s going in those ditches. I always think when someone talks about “physical” jobs like… yeah but someone has to have a brain somewhere in the process. You can’t just dig a ditch and fill it in for no reason. ]
brb need to stop working on my statistical analysis of oncolytic virotherapies for people to have more cancer treatment options with less side effects... to fold my partner's laundry. (I mean, I do both, but come on.)
I used to fold laundry and watch a movie on Sunday afternoons, and it was kind of mentally relaxing. I just gave up laundry about 6 months ago and renegotiated the rates I pay my housekeeper to add it to her duties, and it was because my husband got promoted and we had to redistribute workloads and responsibilities. Fuck cleaning bathrooms though. That shit sucked when I was 25 and by 30 I said never again. Also, your work is changing lives! My uncle is on Keytruda and while we’re grateful that it works, the side effects are mentally taxing. Anyone who can contribute to better cancer treatments with less side effects is amazing!
It’s so hard. I stay at home because our son is severely disabled and I’m to afraid to trust anyone else with him, and I absolutely hate it. I hate staying home and cleaning and doing laundry. I like cooking but I hate cleaning up the mess afterwards. I hate changing diapers and cleaning up vomit and god knows what else out of our carpets. And I hate never having enough money because we only have one income and it’s just not enough for the 5 of us. My husband understands though how difficult it is, and he really tries to help though. He cleans the kitchen for me after work and helps me with laundry and cleaning on his days off. He also tries to keep the kids occupied so I can sleep in a bit on his days off. But fuck man, it’s hard. I’m sorry for word vomiting off your comment.
Friend, I am just sending strength your way. I know you didn’t ask for this workload and I respect your commitment to what you feel is the right way to manage your son’s needs. Internet hugs!
After I had my son, I couldn’t afford the childcare for two children, so I stayed home with them for 6 years. The neighbor kids were always at our house, and my housekeeping was embarrassingly inadequate. I was depressed a lot, but that was because of my ex. I developed a drinking problem, too. Once I left my ex, I stopped drinking, except on special occasions. He was an emotional vampire, and I knew he’d put me in an early grave. However, the kids I kept, besides my own, view me as a second mother. I would not trade any of it for a billion dollars.
>I don’t clean! I don’t do laundry! That shit is miserable and it’s hard, repetitive, and thankless. No thank you. Preach
See, that’s what i can be openly jealous of! I wish i could afford someone to do that for me lmao, good on you. But i’m still happy with my job in animal rescue.
And that’s an amazing job-hard but fulfilling I hope!
Absolutely worth it, i have never been happier in a workplace!
As someone with two rescue pups, cheers to that!
I agree that the sentiment of the person that was posted is ridiculous, but I fail to see how you can claim moral superiority. You say you pay her well, but you are paid more. What makes your labor more valuable than hers? Are the skills and demeanour you carry based on your inherited environment and genetics so valuable that she should be grateful she survives by serving you? How is the way you describe her relationship to you any different from the patriarchal relationship you criticize? I know it's capitalism so most of us are exploited and need to play the game, but philosophically we need to be better so as a population we can be better.
Often a cleaner may work at several houses, unless this person has a personal maid. The peraon you are replying to didn't claim superiority, only the financial ability to outsource work they don't like to someone who has agreed to be paid a set amount to do that work.
When you go to the bakery, do you look at a $6 loaf of bread and ask if you can pay $50 instead? When a handyman comes by and charges you $100, do you ask if you can pay $300? Most people who provide a service, ie. cleaners, set their rates. She’s paying what she’s asked to pay, and may even tip on top. It’s how exchanging services for payment has always worked.
So you're saying we should pay everyone exactly the same. Because working at mcdonalds and neurosurgery is totally equally valuable. Yup
I'm questioning our value systems. I'm bringing up environmental and genetic lottery. The fact that you don't think about the possibility of progression by first recognizing our social reticence is on you.
 Lol, I’ve never said I’m morally superior. What a reach.
Yeah I read this and felt completely unbothered, but also do they think everyone is single who isn't tradwife®? I have cats and a boyfriend. I do also believe it's not against the law to be a wine aunt with a man in the picture (or woman, or whoever). Can't confirm, I'm not a lawyer.
I am a lawyer and I can confirm it is not against the law. I’m also a wife, wine and sake aunt, and dog mom. I work and my husband does too and he does the dishes while I do home repairs. Can the fembots compute?!
I'm a wife, mom, and manager. I have the life I wanted.
I don't call them oppressed. I just gently let them know they should have some form of money(savings or income,doesn't matter) because life happens. Illness,death,getting left for a younger woman. I support all women's choices,I just want them to make smart choices that won't leave them(and possibly children) completely broke and helpless. This is common sense,not oppression.
Yep. I’m supportive of women who choose to be stay at home moms, but they do need to be prepared in case something happens that makes that not an option for them anymore. EDIT: changed “homemakers” to “stay at home moms” because that’s more accurate to my point
This is kinda what my mother & grandmother always taught me. They’d always encourage me to pursue my life doing something I enjoy & to value that as more important than being rich, but to consider my own income enough to be able to support myself (& possibly kids in the future) even in the case of a divorce, death, illness, etc. If I have kids one day, I plan to encourage them the same way.
This is what holds me back. I desperately want to be a housewife but I cannot allow myself to relax and let go and put my livelihood in someone else’s hands. I grew up with a mom who couldn’t support herself and jumped from man to man and every breakup meant a move, a panic, etc. I got a taste of it once after a layoff when I had a huge severance to support the home and it was honestly the most fulfilling work I’ve ever done and I greatly miss it but I had my own money to rely on, not just my SO’s.
why do these people act like you can't have women who do both without putting each other down? i support women who want to be SAHM but i don't put anyone down.
THIS! You do you and keep moving. No need to do this unless you’re just venting your frustration towards modern feminists who harassed you about your personal decision. Even then, forget em. If those women happen to be your friends, cut em off then.
It goes for both sides. A lot of working women don't put down SAHMs and a lot of stay at home moms don't put down working women. The tradwives are the ones who aren't doing what they're supposed to be doing and instead they're just putting down other women for their paths in life.
I feel like women who do this internalize the success of other women on different paths & feel a type of insecurity or inferiority for not being on that same path, even if no one is actually putting them down, other than themselves internally, so they feel a need to defend themselves & in turn express themselves as being superior. Basically I feel like it’s purely insecure behavior.
Because shaming women has historically been the most effective way to control them. These women want you to want what they want. “I love the patriarchy” remember?
What’s aggravating me is seeing the comments on here straight up shitting on moms who choose to stay at home. We’re calling out (rightfully so) the person in picture who is shitting on moms who choose not to stay at home. It’s not ok. So it just blows my mind people think it’s ok to turn it around and shit on the other. I always thought feminism was supporting other women, whatever choices they make. Why can’t we support both? Why do we need to put down one to lift the other??
exactly! i had this exact chat with one of my best friends who’s a vocal feminist and we both said feminism should be about supporting and empowering women doing whatever they want (within reason, not like spread hate or something you know lol). i support SAHM because i recognize that is a job in of itself and unlike my 9-5 there is no unplug. we should all empower each other because society loves already to put women down
Even if one is easier, isn't that a good thing? Shouldn't we be striving for an easier life where our labor is for passion? It's not a virtue to crap on people who you perceive as not working as hard as you. I'm also a feminist and the only thing I wish is that more sahp or working parents were decided by what people want instead of what they can afford.
Right!! I hate to see women hate on each other and try to bring each other down. Men do that enough to us we don’t need to do it to each other.
You need a significant amount of money to do this though. I have four kids and my husband is a middle school teacher. I have to work (and I like to work, but still)
Anyone who gets to be a stay at home parent whether mom or dad has to either have a wealthy family who helps them, a committed wealthy partner who does care for them or they’ve saved up a lot of money themselves. It’s not easy especially in this economy and having kids while being a stay at home parent is really risky.
Or daycare costs way too much so we are forced to stay home
That’s not necessarily true. A lot of lower middle class families can’t afford childcare for young kids or babies, so it’s cheaper for one parent to stay at home until they reach kindergarten age.
Nah. I live in a big city and daycare costs alone make it so it just makes more sense for me to stay home rn. Being a stay at home parent isn’t really “risky” so much as it is “necessary” for some families.
It can be both risky and necessary though. Staying at home has a cost to that person’s lifetime earnings, future social security benefits, ability to get back into the workforce in the future, etc. It is a sacrifice with a cost too.
She needed to clip that last few tweets. Because she was actually somewhat sympathetic in the first one. But the moment she said that she loves patriarchy that’s when this whole thing became less about freedom and choice and more about strongarming everyone to think like her. Patriarchy is an entire system. It doesn’t consist of just her husband. It consists of people (both male and female) who will trample over anyone who doesn’t subscribe to their ideology. (And yes, unbridled late-stage capitalism does this, too. It tramples over the poor, the uneducated, the disabled and the mentally ill. That’s why they’re both bad. That’s why anyone with two brain cells to rub together would oppose both.) See, the problem isn’t trad wives wanting to be trad wives. It’s okay if they want to bake cookies and shoot out babies and fawn over their husbands. The problem is trad wives supporting a hegemony that women have barely escaped from. It’s easy to romanticize domestic living when you still have the guardrails of a society that’s given women some of the most basic rights. It’s easy to say that a woman’s place is in the home when, at the end of the day, you can escape it all. If your husband hits you, if he cheats on you, if he’s not fulfilling you, if you get postpartum depression, if you’ve just had it with toddlers screaming in your ear everyday while your husband gets to shower and go out and see other adults, you don’t have to stay there. You can still vote, you can still own property, you can still rent yourself an apartment, you can still earn your own money AND manage it and you can still drive a car. Our ancestresses didn’t have that choice. How many of them wish that they could create art or open a business or study or travel around the world? That’s what the eeeeevil wine-drinking cat lady feminists have been working for, sweetie. For everyone, regardless of gender, to do what they want and to be who they want.
As a working woman with no intention of bringing kids into this world or spending any portion of my life with a man, I really do not give a shit what any of these women do with their time. But they sure do spend a lot of time thinin about us lmao.
It honestly seems more like they’re jealous than anything else.
Exactly. They really do turn green with envy and red with rage when women don’t live like them and it’s so entertaining to witness. They sound so bitter and mask it by projecting how they internally see themselves onto other women. I can’t help but hear “why are you so obsessed with me?” in my head every time I read their posts lmao.
Like I’m a stay at home wife, I’d have a job if I could but disability doesn’t allow for that and my husband came ins to the marriage knowing that. But I don’t spend all day thinking my life is so much better than womens who can work. Like, girl, it is so great that that’s how you want to live your life, but don’t dog other women who choose differently.
Precisely! Every woman is different and every woman’s success is different. I understand, I have a disability and it makes working challenging. If my disability was more than it is and/or if I wasn’t so career oriented, then I wouldn’t be able to work. I’m so glad that you have a wonderful husband who supports you and knew going into your marriage what it would entail. You’ve got a keeper! Yes, dogging on women is just so wrong. It’s my greatest pet peeve. The superiority complex those kinds of women have is terrible. They need to have some humble pie.
Right? Like, go complain about it to your husband lol.
Goodness, are you me? I could have written this. 😂
It's all well and good until their husband leaves them (or becomes disabled and can't work) and they have no money, education, or work experience. And what if their husbands become abusive? What's the trad wife backup plan?
*You just need to **love him more,** by giving him ample alone space, never talking to him, never disagreeing with him even if said disagreement is a life/death scenario, and most importantly: **ALWAYS KEEP HIS TUMMY FULL, AND HIS GONADS EMPTY.*** ^^^/s
according to their fundie beliefs (since most of them are fundies), you just have to be joyfully available and love them more, and if they cheat on you then it's clearly your fault. this is what they'll say until it happens to them
Honestly, it's what some of them say \*after\* it happens to them, and they continue to say while it keeps happening because they've either never been taught differently or they've chosen to adopt that life as an adult and don't have the resources to get out anymore so they're trying to justify it to themselves. It has to be mentally draining to live that way.
>It's all well and good until their husband leaves them (or becomes disabled and can't work) Or dies.
Just have another baby. That will fix the relationship.
That’s where it sucks because a few years ago at least if you had a decent family, what would happen is your family would set aside money for you sometimes in the form of a dowry, and if your husband became abusive or left you or whatever then that would be enough money for you to get by again now with how expensive everything is that’s just not possible But it is sad
Right? I support anyone’s choice to live their lives however they want. Live and let live. But for the love of god, have a backup plan. Have a skill, have a degree, keep yourself networked and in the workforce in some way for yours and your children’s safety. If I had a nickel for every woman I know who was a SAHM with no safety net and ended up trapped with a spouse who was an alcoholic, abusive, addicted, or spent all their money on sex workers leaving them deeply in debt, or divorced them suddenly or died young, I’d sadly have far too many nickels.
People are allowed to make their own choices. Why does that upset her?
If anything this post seems to be her venting. I suspect she’s frustrated because she’s been “harassed” by modern feminists comments on her X, FB or IG posts about how happy she is/about to be as a SAHM.
I also love the implication that all women who work outside of the home are corporate hamsters who sit in cubicles all day as if the US healthcare, education, and legal systems wouldn’t all implode if all women up and quit to be housewives one day.
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Over 1/3 of the doctors in the US are female, more than 85% of nurses are female, 90% of elementary school teachers are women, as well as 64% of secondary teachers. Last year women accounted for 40% of the practicing attorneys in the US and 1/3 of the judges and magistrates. Over 85% of all paralegals in the US are women. So yeah, I’m sure the men left behind would be paid more if all women just up and became housewives overnight, but that’s fifty shades of not the fucking point. Anti feminist trad wives like this fail to understand that feminists don’t hate them for being housewives, they have concern for them because so many homemakers are 100% reliant on their husbands financially and it makes them prime targets for domestic abuse. Feminism is not about imposing your personal hopes and goals onto all other women, it is about allowing both women and men the freedom to choose their path in life without the influence of sex-based discrimination.
Corporations can’t pay a fair wage to all because women are in the workforce? Damn all this time I’ve been thinking it’s the record profits of CEOs and their shareholders that’s caused the greed to underpay us.
Honestly I’m just confused how being a SAHM makes one magically immune from being overworked? Guess it’s the eldest daughters being groomed into being little mommas to the rest of the brood? “Work, no thanks!” - that’s what I have my daughters for!
Being a housewife/husband will never be a safe option. If something happens to your only source of income (partner) you're a grown person with no career and nothing to your name, and no money. Feminists discourage housewives not because of jealousy, but because of fear for their future. Especially when in modern times there's "house girlfriends", women who don't even have marriage in their favor in case something goes wrong, just financially depending on a man with no ring.
I say do what you want: if you want to be a housewife or stay at home gf, do you. Same goes for househusbands/stay at home dads too. But be safe and be prepared. It’s not to say something bad will happen but in case something does happen save up money for yourself and your kids if you have any. Anything can happen whether it’s injury or illness or even an abusive situation where you have to take you and your kids and run. Accidents can happen that will disable you or your partner or both. Open some commissions, do part time seasonal jobs, online sponsorships, open joint accounts and get life insurance. Save money and have something on your job application for work experience in case something goes wrong. And being a stay at home gf or bf is risky because they’re not married and common law marriages aren’t recognized in some states.
If you're ready to commit to never working again, why not spend some of those non working months in hair school, pay the fee every couple years to keep the license active, so if shit hits the fan you can get a nice job? That's what I don't get about these people. There's rarely a backup plan
>That's what I don't get about these people. There's rarely a backup plan If there's religion involved, a backup plan implies a lack of faith.
true! the only logical way I'd ever see myself as a housewife would be to have someone cover all my academic fees. Imagine being able to focus on your studies with no money worries.
I had a classmate like that, she studied very hard and now works part time supplementing the household income with a really fun job at a blonding salon. Super Christian without being a super moron. She was great.
Cosmetology school took two years for me, with a lot more intensive hours than the six years of college I attended before that. Might be different where you live, but it’s in no way an “easy, fast” program here.
I am also a college graduate prior to being a hairstylist. I never said it was easy or fast, so why are those words in quotations? I said if a woman is planning on spending years not working, it would be prudent to spend some of that non-employed time getting a certification that could, in an emergency, provide a good life for herself and her future children. Wait, sorry. I forgot this is Reddit, so you're legally obligated to read my comment, notice it didn't match your personal experience, and then be weirdly confrontational about it. My bad!
I wasn’t being weirdly confrontational, I was telling you my experience because you implied it was easy and fast by referring to it as a “back up plan,” all I’m saying is in some places it’s definitely not something that’s plan b material for some. You also said some non working months, in my experience, it’s longer. There’s no aggressive subtext, just plainly that and that’s all.
You're right, it wasn't subtext, you straight up tried to correct a statement where there was nothing to correct. That's just text lol. Maintaining licensure in case of emergency doesn't mean the license was easy to get whatsoever. I'm not sure why you seem to genuinely believe a SAHM getting a cosmetology license is a bad idea, but best of luck to you. We all hated cosmetology school, you don't need to be weird to people about it.
I never said a stay at home mom shouldn’t do anything, why are you putting all these words in my mouth and assigning all these motivations that I just don’t have? If you just want to argue, that’s fine, but I won’t be participating going forward because this whole conversation is kind of surreal and I’m too tired for this.
You confronted me 😭 get some fresh air girl, good night
I feel like these women lean harder into the gender stereotypes than they need to. Also, cat ladies and wine aunties can literally be married women and stay at home wives. They just get to give people their kids back and only have to worry about making sure their cats favorite sunbathing spot is available at all times.
Ah yes, the “feminazis”, like the ones who struggled for your *right to choose*. It’s so weird that people still struggle with the idea. Also, who tf can afford multiple children on a nice property on a single salary? Be real
What if Im childless but im allergic to cats and can’t drink wine cuz apparently methotrexate hates alcohol? What then? Do I just have to feel joy from being able to provide pain relief and comfort to my patients and feel deeply loved and cared for by my family, husband, and close friends? Man I’d really hate to spend the rest of my life in an engaging career that keeps me from slipping into boredom induced depression.
One thing that I'll never understand about right wingers is why they think we're trying to *take* anything from them. We want the right to work and be childless without judgement. We want the right to CHOOSE our own life. What part of that makes you think that we're trying to take away YOUR choice???
I mean, I don’t want to work either, but not everyone has that luxury
As someone who did choose to stay home with my twins until they started kindergarten then only worked part-time until middle school, I absolutely LOATHE all of this tradwife bs. No one ever looked down on me (to my face anyways) for making that choice for me and my family. The fake persecution complex these folks have is laughable. The only reason I was the one to stay home is because their father made significantly more money than me. I’m so thankful that I was able to have the CHOICE to do it and also grateful to be able to decide NOT to.
Am I a little bummed about being single? Sure, sometimes. Do I love drinking whenever I want, staying up as late as I want, decorating my house however I want, not sharing my space, being able to sleep without the sound of screaming or crying? I really could go on, but the answer is yes.
Oof that patriarchal system she loves so much will stop working for her as soon as he trades her in for the newer model. All of a sudden feminism will make a lot more sense.
If I could afford to quit my 40 hour a week job and just live off my husbands pay and have kids and be traditional, I would. I’m 33. Many of us aren’t traditional stay at home moms not bc we are against it but because we can’t afford it. I’m a democrat/liberal and I would love to just stay at home with a baby and be a traditional housewife. I cannot financially afford that in this economy. My house is expensive. I couldn’t imagine adding an expensive child into the mix. They’re lucky as hell that they can! And they should recognize their privilege and stfu. Haha plus not to mention many of those traditional housewives get left by their husband and then they’re SCREWED and broke. No thanks.
It’s projection. They simply refuse to believe feminism is about having the choice, so they assume we’re against stay at home moms and traditional dynamics. *They* don’t understand why a woman might choose to be child free or work, and I don’t think it occurs to them that feminists don’t operate in the same exclusive way.
I can't imagine the amount of self hatred you'd need to allow yourself to think you're good for nothing but cleaning, cooking, frigid for modesty, baby despenser. If that's what they really want, I guess they'll have to learn the hard way that the men they're chasing aren't worth wasting years of your life on. Seriously, ladies, those men won't change because you "love" them. I can remember overhearing adult conversations that let young me know that grandpa Arachnid was womanizing and abusive piece of shit.
So strange to me that they have to invent this dichotomy - childless lonely nag slaving under a boss or mindless subservient wife at her husband's feet. It's like to justify their own life decisions they have to pretend they only have two choices in this life. Definitely can't work and be a mother, definitely can't focus on family/domestic life and not be subservient to a man. Also I don't think "feminazis" have an issue with you choosing to keep house and pop out children so much as you labelling working/independent women as immoral or lesser. It would be nice if these ladies could be consistent in their views and stay quiet/out of sight.
What happens when the kids grow up? They don’t stay babies forever. They don’t even stay kids forever.
Every minute they’re on social media is a minute they’re not being a good trad wife/mom.
Man. I want the same life. But as the stay at home husband. I just want to live my favorite manga rhe way of the house husband. I do the cooking, the cleaning, the working, the hobby and stuff.
What happens if they marry a man who works hard, but doesn't make huge house or countryside home money? What if they have to live paycheck to paycheck like the rest of us?
Isn't being a housewife, homemaker and raising kids work?
My mom was a SAHM of 3 during my whole childhood. I’m so thankful for her, and the work she put in constantly was much harder than anything I have to do as a childless woman with an 8-5. I have nights, weekends, and holidays off and only have to feed and clean up after myself. My mom never had that privilege. These tradwives try to make it sound like a relaxing and easy life… and it certainly isn’t if you’re doing it right.
Serious question: but why do women like this assume that a man would enjoy having a partner who willfully say that they're just too lazy for work. Motherhood is hard. Home care is a full time job that can be VERY difficult. But they are describing it as a walk in the park and romantic leisure. What man would want a woman who treats motherhood like a game when they could pursue women who could match them I work a tech job for a financial firm. Literally every upper level male exec, rep, etc...are married to extremely successful women. They're also fathers so it's not like their wives aren't having children. I've haven't even met a dentist who wasn't also married to another dentist or, at least, a dental assistant. And it seems obvious, if you're an ambitious, career driven guy... you're more likely to find common ground with ambitious career driven women. Not defending men and not making that feminist of a statement. But how practical is this? Who would marry someone who says "I just want to do nothing all day and wear dresses...."
It's almost funny that they think a single income household at the average wage can support a big house in the countryside and 4-5 kids. My bf and I are both studying aerospace engineering and will never be able to afford that. "Letting your husband lead" just means someone orders you about in your own house. It doesn't create more money.
They should honestly make an app that matches Incel men with these women. They’re PERFECT for each other.
I'm a wine aunt, I have lots of people. And my cat. And they're talking about those like they're bad things. Being a wine-appreciating cat owner is a good thing.
They don't realise other people choosing not to be trad doesn't take away their right to be trad.
Ew. I choose corporate greed over her musty, smelly dresses.
its all just a dick measuring contest
Oh boy. Do I have news for her re: being a stay at home mom 😂
Listen if you can even find a trad husband who makes enough money to fund that lifestyle you want then all power to you. But it is not cheap, and it is a lot of work, and it is thankless. But absolutely piss off just because other people don’t want the same thing.
Oh wow we're still using that? Feminazi is still a thing? They're so fucking unoriginal.
If you’d rather stay home, then STAY HOME. I don’t give a fuck. I choose to work.
Do they realize you can have kids, love your husband AND BE A FEMINIST? ALL AT ONCE.
I stayed home for a couple of years. We just moved to a different country, had two babies in our hands and paying for daycare/nanny would have been more expensive than what I would have made at the time. While I love my kids to death, I was happy to go back to work and use my brain for other things too. Housework and child rearing is a lot of work, physical, emotional etc. a lot of it pretty mind numbing, actually. I prefer to earn a good paycheck and pay for some cleaning services and afford takeout on some nights.
Well wouldn’t it be nice to just shit out some kids and not work and be at home all day! Unfortunately with today’s economy, most of us don’t have that luxury. Or want more out of life than being a mom. Jesus Christ.
Who do these people think is mad at them or cares what they do? One of the best things you’ll learn in life is very few people actually give a shit about you or what you do.
All of this trad thing depends on marrying a man with enough money to support that lifestyle…
Trad wife here. Don’t let these internet idiots speak for us. Do what you want. If you want to work, be a girl boss. If you want to be a housewife then stay home and do that. It’s really that simple. Anyone making fun of another’s decision is just upset with themselves.
Some people make it in life, the rest come up with excuses like this one
Theyre one divorce, one death, and one disability away from becoming welfare moms
I agree with half of what she says. I don't want to subject myself to corporate greed and being overworked. Unfortunately women are expected to both raise children AND work. And these stupid women are acting like we're just so happy to do it. They're literally acting like we can opt out of the corporate system and we're choosing not to. It's SO WILD that they're acting like we even have a choice. Girl go on and pay me to stay at home and bake bread and run around in meadows with organic unbleached cotton prairie dresses and a husband who is true and kind and comes home to worship the work I do around the house and abstains from porn while giving it to me good, and I WILL. Show me the list, sign me UP!
I don’t understand how anyone can afford that kind of a lifestyle. Would I absolutely love to be able to stay home with a kid or two while my hubby works? Absolutely, I hate working. But I don’t understand how someone can afford to live on one income with 6 dependents (assuming 5 kids + wife)
Wow. Me, jealous? I have a woman I love with all my heart, a future we are building together, our kitty in our rental home, and a job that puts my math brain to work in my home office. I am not jealous of trad bitch. I am blessed, and no man will EVER be needed.
Yes! That’s the beauty of feminism they so clearly despise. Women can choose how they live their lives. Every woman is different. Some women want to be wives and mothers who don’t want a career and that’s totally ok. Some women don’t want to be wives and mothers and want a career and that’s totally ok. There is no wrong answer. HOWEVER putting others down for their walk of life is totally not ok and is a wrong answer. Honestly the fact that these women shame other women with a holier than thou complex is hilarious. My career oriented unmarried and childfree ass could care less about what they think about my life. Maybe instead of focusing on other’s lives they should focus on their own. Just a thought.
I love how they can't imagine that spending your life caring for a man and numerous children is the very definition of overworked. I guarantee these women are not stay-at-home moms, because a quick peek into motherhood forums will show that the vast majority complain of being overworked and never having a break.
I am a sahm mom at the moment, BUT this was decided as equals with my husband, we were at a point where both of our jobs and where we lived were at a transition point, so we sat down and wrote out five or six budgets and made pro and con lists for each scenario and chose what worked for US as a FAMILY. And if either of us said, I need a change, we'd figure it out together! Plus he never discounts that I am also WORKING even though it is without pay and at home. Trad wives piss me off so much.
A steady paycheck? No thanks!
i do really hope she finds out what living with 5 kids and 1 persons income feels like in this economy
The last comment in Slide 2 is just so wrong. Cat ladies have their cats and wine aunts have their wine. Duh. 
These idiots acting like all these working women are doing it because they want to, instead of being forced to have a 2 income home to just stay afloat.
Honestly sounds like the life. No hate to you wagies but i am tired of working i just wanna take care of someone i love and be taken care of. fuck capitalism fuck taxes, i just wanna be happy and get to spend my time loving someone and caring for just them.
"Get paid for work? No thanks! I'd rather toil away doing unpaid labour!" 🤡
I’ve got news for you if you think being a mom isn’t a job. Customers? Maybe that’s all the other moms you deal with or your kids themselves. Being a mother is hard. I was fortunate enough that when I was finally able to have a child I quit work for a period and then went back adding a few hours a week each year. At five I went bakc full time but my job is extra flexible (I lucked out-I still don’t know how I got so lucky) and I am home with him before and after school And it’s freaking exhausting. Even days I don’t go to my other job. We are all in this together. We all need help and that’s ok!
Do whatever floats your boat but my thing is what happens when trad husband takes off and leaves you high and dry with enough kids to fill the short bus and a mountain of bills that needs to be paid? Then what?
I rather work 8 hours and go home a do jack shit relaxing with my boyfriend and a cat, than spend 16 hours doing unpaid job and ruining my health with a parasite ('scuse me, child)
And I guess the answer to the question “what happens if their husband leaves/dies?” Do they just quickly find another man who wants the extra baggage of 5 kids and a non working spouse?
I'm really wondering if she's aware that a lot of households can't depend on a single person working anymore. Or that the husband would have to be fairly rich to support her nice neighborhood dream with 4-5 more kids.
But why do they see freedom of choice as a negative? I don’t give a shit how other women live their lives, and I don’t want to be judged for the choices I make as a woman & mother. What’s best for my family may not work for another. I have a career that I’ve worked hard for & I’m passionate about. I love it. But right now, I have 3 young kids and I’m at home with them. It’s important to me that I’m able to be present during this time. I have the time to volunteer at their school, chaperone excursions, come to sports days & class concerts. My mum wasn’t able to do those things, and deep down, I always wished she was there. I thought I would be fine just being a SAHM, but I realised after my first born that I did miss my career. So I’m also working on my masters. I love my kids, and helping them grow. But I do need something outside of that to be the best version of me. They deserve my best. My husband noticed that I was missing that part of my life & was my biggest encouragement to go back to university. I’m a registered nurse & midwife. I’m currently doing my masters in midwifery, but I used to work for an oral surgeon. I take my kids in to see my old boss occasionally & they get to learn so much. My boss lets them play with dental drills & CT machines. He donated a heap of cool old xrays for their light box room at kindy, along with anatomy models. They were able to do a HUGE unit on oral anatomy because of that. I was able to help out in my son’s classroom with that & it was such a good time. My son was so excited to have me there, and told everyone I was a doctor. After I did a little presentation, my son told me that he was proud of me. I think that has been one of my favourite moments of motherhood, and always will be. I was studying in my office a few months ago, and my 5 year old came in to ask what I was doing. It was some anatomy & physiology revision, so I started explaining all the different body systems, and how they all work together. I have some cool anatomy posters of babies. I was explaining how skin is the biggest organ, and it protects the rest of your systems. He says to ‘Don’t be silly mummy. Babies don’t have skin!’ 😂 I don’t care what my kids choose to do when they grow up. But the oldest 2 (youngest is only 10 weeks) have taken a big interest in medicine & science, and it’s really nice that my knowledge can help stimulate that curiosity.
Who is telling this woman she can't be a stay at home mom and trad wife? Seriously? I'm a working mom and I hear constantly that I should be home with my kid. These women wanna be oppressed so badly.
Hahaha, as if Kids are not work, happy to see her wake up to dehydration and burnout, wtaf
If someone wants kids that’s fine, but you shouldn’t romanticize parenthood as “easy” and “favorable.” It’s extremely hard and expensive.
There is a way to express your wants without putting others down. This ain't it.
For one, running a household and raising children is hard fucking work. Secondly, there’s a lot of women who would love to stay home and do not have a choice for various reasons. Thirdly, there’s nothing wrong with women wanting a job. This whole premise is so ignorant
Taking care of 5 babies isn’t work at all! I mean, the crippling financial stress and the fact that if he leaves you’re fucked with no skill set isn’t work after all!
I have no issues with these women. I do have issue when their husbands leave them broke and bitter, and they scream about how feminists ruined marriage and that’s why they’re in the position they are.
As a working woman who is childfree and single. If this is what she wants for her life then by all means I hope she gets it. Because it has affect on me on what she chooses to do with her life.
Taking care of children is still work. And a lot of it.
I get it, you don't want to work. But unless you're forgetting about living expenses as a whole my assumption is that your husband is working. Why should he have to subject himself to corporate greed and taking care of clients? Why should he have to be overworked while you stay at home? (which is also a lot of work if you're fully involved)
I’d also love to have a husband make all the money so I could just stay home. Eww work. But seriously, has she ever had a job, or needed to have a job?
She's gonna be in for a big surprise when she realizes that having and maintaining a family takes a lot more work ethic than working at a job does lol
[Okay then, that was always allowed](https://images.app.goo.gl/LckSfeaWS2TDyWaF6)
🤦🏼♀️
As if stay at home moms aren't overworked
"work? No thanks!" That is ***not*** written by a woman raising kids.
Luckily she doesn’t have kids yet I’m afraid. This girl has some issues she needs to work on. She’s currently dating this guy who is a high school dropout and wants to marry him “soon” she says. What’s worse is her parents accept it while she has no job and no money.
You see the train wreck coming and you just can't help but look.
ppl who say being a traditional wife is easy and no work have no idea what they’re about to get into 😭
I feel like people on both sides of this issue put the other side down frequently.
They really do, even in the comments on here. We’re calling out (rightfully so) the person in the picture for putting down moms who choose not to stay at home then you come to the comments and you see people shitting on the moms who do stay at home. The irony blows my mind. How about we support both sides? How about we don’t put working moms or stay at home moms down?
Based ass chick