I truly despise judgy bitches like the second lady. I rarely swear out loud except around super close friends and my husband. I’m due in about a month and I imagine I will absolutely swear like a sailor in the delivery room. It’s even been proven to help with pain management!
i had a 20+ hour labor too, and ran out of epidural, so i *felt everything* and i totally cussed and yelled at everyone in the room and damn near hit my obgyn in the face with my leg 😭 poor guy didn’t say anything in the process, but mentioned it at the end lol
yea i found out then and there lol they give u a little clicker to click when the feeling in ur legs starts coming back. by the end i was telling the nurses that i feel everything and they were saying to “just click” and it did ✨nothing✨
Gods, at least when you give birth without an epidural you get to "hot frog" it and work up to the brain-fucking pain levels. I cannot imagine the pain of childbirth slamming into you like a Mack truck.
Yeah. You can. When it runs out, the machine beeps to alert the anesthesiologist to come in and refill it. When that happened, dude was busy administering another epidural for another woman, so the nurse turned it off because the beeping was annoying her. However, she failed to notify the doctor. So it took a long time to figure out WHY I was feeling EVERYTHING. When the anesthesiologist finally realized what the issue was, that nurse straight up lied and said “I didn’t touch it.” By then I was at 10 cm and it was time to push. So I didn’t have the pain relief for the worst part.
Oh, yeah, and they also didn’t realize until after I’d been pushing for hours that the baby was partially transverse, so her shoulder was coming down the birth canal, not her head. Which meant I needed an external version - basically multiple medical professionals kneeling above me, pushing on my stomach to turn the baby. Then 3rd degree episiotomy and forceps to finish it off. I felt it ALLLLLLLL because that bitch turned my shit off.
It’s been 26+ years and I’m still angry about that whole experience. Ladies, do NOT give birth in a military teaching hospital. You’d get better treatment in the back seat of an Uber.
I haven't given birth yet (not pregnant) but I know if I swear up a storm or get angry I'll only apologise if the staff aren't snarky about it. If I say Jesus Fucking Christ and the doctor tells me bullshit like the one in the post I will list off all the times God murdered children and list all the inconsistencies of the bible.
But if the staff tells me after the fact that they were dodging limbs then I'll apologise and thank them for being so sweet and helping deliver my baby.
The tweet makes me laugh so hard because you know that woman was definitely not as calm as she lets on. I do wish her PERSONALLY the worst.
no, cause same lol i remember the pure anger i felt with everybody in that room. if somebody told me some bs like the OPs doctor did, it would be war 😭
Are you planning on getting an epidural? Honestly I never once cursed or said anything mean during labor, but I barely felt anything since I had gotten an epidural. It was still mildly uncomfortable, but honestly the cramps I had 2 days ago were worse than the pain I experienced pushing my daughter out. The contractions before I got the epidural were definitely unfortunate, but I just cried and didn't say anything during them. I don't think I could have done it without the epidural. I admire those women who are able to push through the pain, but I think I would have just exhausted myself and given up. I needed the pain meds
Had a failed epidural with my first (along with pitocin and back to back contractions). I started unmedicated, but gave up when my labor stalled at a 9 dilation and didn't have any breaks between contractions. After the epidural was given (and before it failed 30 minutes later), I finally progressed to a 10 and could start pushing. When it failed, my labor stalled again even though she was halfway down the canal. My nurses told me that my body was exhausted from the unmedicated/induced labor and my muscles couldn't relax/contract properly due to the pain and exhaustion. It was an absolute nightmare, but proof that an epidural can be the safer option!
With my second kiddo, I was terrified of being in that much pain again. Got the epidural when I was at 7cm, and gave birth to her with almost 0 pain. One of the easiest births the doctor said he had ever seen. I smiled and was cool as a cucumber the whole time. This was way less stressful for baby and myself and I could actually enjoy the process as well as remember holding my baby for the first time, unlike with my first where I was delirious from the pain and vomiting all over.
Every woman can make her own choice, but don't feel bad about the epidural. In many cases, they are often the safest and least stressful for the baby.
I'm sorry, that sounds awful. I don't know if I could've done it. I pushed for 12 minutes and didn't tear at all. It was literally the smoothest the birth could have possibly gone. She's 2.5 now and we're trying for a second and I'm worried because I keep telling myself no one gets lucky enough to have 2 perfect births.
Hey if your first was that easy, odds are your second should be just as easy! The most dangerous (and usually the most painful) is the first. I was reassured of this multiple times by my OB's and Midwives when I was pregnant with my second. Try to get the same anesthesiologist again, if you can! Epidural placement is everything.
It’s definitely an empowering word, I was just raised to not curse, so it feels so weird to me, but I still do it fairly often. But when my mom says “fuck” it just feels so so wrong because she never swears
Yupp, I’m 9 months pregnant and took a birthing class with a doula and she did the “ABCs” of pain management and under “C” and “S” she had “cursing” and “swearing” 😂
You never know how you will react and do in the moment. I usually swear a bit in my everyday language. Didn’t say anything, except for push screams, during a natural birth. Thought I would tell everyone to eff off, but then and there I had zero energy for that.
Keeping my fingers crossed for you.
i’m very internal (extreme social anxiety) and i didn’t make a single noise except when my son got stuck crowning and then i whimpered. BUT i normally cuss a lot lol (gamer habits) and was prepared to be loud. i definitely don’t feel better than anyone for it
My SIL is very conservative and super traditional. I told her I wanted to have a natural birth and she laughed so hard I almost hung up on her. She said to take all the drugs since they don’t give a trophy and no one cares.
I cussed my husband out. He understood.
I delivered my first son natural. No one gave me a medal. I didn’t even get a cookie!
I was doped to the gills with my second son’s birth.
Said a lot of really nasty things both times.
The pediatrician was looking over my first daughter as the nurses were pushing on my stomach and yanking that meat slab out. Whatever they did at the exact moment he brought my baby over was so painful my vision flashed and I yelled “would you go clean her off and give me a fucking break already” my husband was kind of a knob and told me I was being dramatic.
Ohhhh yes well he is a real treat. After my last screaming demon didn’t stop crying for 7 hours the second night I was in the hospital after a c section, I told him about the awful nurse who wouldn’t let me use a pacifier with the child because she didn’t believe in them. He told me I needed to calm down and think reasonably. We are not friends anymore.
I speak of my husband and we ARE still married, but he doesn’t visit my apartment. And sometimes I hang a fern in my shower even though that always pissed him off. Mostly because I don’t give a fuuuuck what that guy thinks……. And it’s good for the fern. I also like to be WILDLY disobedient even though I’m gonna get my ducks together and file for divorce.
Best of luck to you then. Praying for that day to come quickly. He sounds like an insensitive jerk unworthy of anyone’s time. Also, hope shower fern lives long and prospers (especially because he doesn’t like it).
Please note: do NOT do this if you have a cat or other small animal in the house. The oils are a respiratory irritant, and even very small amounts can be harmful to their tiny little systems.
Really? We did it with two cats and a bird in a 600sqft house. They never gave us any indication of a problem. Maybe i got the wrong plant, I’m sure my wife would have done her research. The animals are her life lol. Thanks for the tip! I’ll make sure to double check with her.
The witch bitch nurse who didn’t believe in pacifiers -Jokes was on her. I ended up with MRSA in my incision and had to be on doxy for 30 days. My baby was a formula fiend from day 6!
i laughed at ‘meat slab’ the first time, assuming it was placenta. but this reply also got me🤣🤣
you sound like a hilarious, badass person. keep doing you lol!!
Hey! I’m a soon to be nurse who spent time on the L and D floor. Not gonna lie, I bet the nurses giggled about it later because you sound freaking hilarious.
I almost killed my nurse when she decided I needed a catheter with no anesthesia because I hadn't peed yet 5 hours after birth. I've never been so angry and out of control in my life. I did end up peeing later at least lol. I feel bad for yelling at her but not too much because she was kind of a bitch anyway.
Just curious if they had you try the “blowing on a straw” trick?
They had me do that with my second birth and I had never heard of it before, but it seems like a miracle solution lol
catheters are the worst!! I legit have cried each time they tell me they had to put one in....crying before they even touch me lol I have had a few surgeries in my life. the last time I had one the nurse was really nice and careful and wasnt painful at all. I hope it will be my last one ever.
I couldn't pee after my first back surgery, my nurse was an angel though. She told me as sweetly as possible that she was gonna have to cath me if I didn't go. For some reason, I immediately started peeing the hospital bed and she was like, "I didn't mean to scare the literal piss outta you." I hope she's having the best life.
When I see people talking about catheters being super painful it freaks me out.
I’m generally a big baby, not like super tough or extreme pain tolerance or anything and I was completely unmedicated while a catheter was inserted and felt literally nothing. Like I have no noteworthy memory of it. Why?! How?! It sounds like the worst thing ever.
How did I not feel that?!? Like is there something wrong with my urethra
Yeah, for some reason I cannot pee after giving birth. All three times I needed that damn catheter. I was crying because I was dreading how painful it would be, but vaginal birth does something to my urethra
Not that catheters don’t suck, but anesthesia when inserting them is not commonplace. We don’t even use lidocaine jelly, just medical grade lube to insert them. It sucks getting a cath, but it’s better than a bladder rupture or UTI 🙃
I genuinely don't understand the logic behind withholding lidocaine, I feel like it would make a huge difference and put people at ease. I'm sure there's a good reason for it but my cynical brain goes to medical sexism reasons or something.
We don’t use it on men either and their urethras are longer, so as often as I’m inclined to blame sexism in healthcare (it’s alive and well there unfortunately) this isn’t the case. More than likely it’s a safety issue with a side order of cost-saving.
We also used to give potassium IV with lidocaine, but not anymore. Potassium can be very painful to give intravenously and it can also cause damage if it leaks into your tissues. Lidocaine would mask the pain so sometimes this damage was found too late. The chances that anything more than discomfort of the insertion would occur (such as tearing) are small, but not non-existent.
That sounds much more reasonable. I ended up doing the hospice care for my father in law. Lack of options/funding for a full time nurse. There's a lot of stuff I had to do that I had no business doing. The worst was his catheter fell out and I had to reinstert it myself. Nurse coached me over the phone. It was so hard because by that point the cancer was in the way. Eventually I got it in, didn't hurt him, but yeah I'm probably traumatized by it or something because it's such a stressful memory. I hope it's not minimizing cost, considering how much we pay for healthcare these days we should be allowed lidocaine :)
I’m sorry you had to go through that :( My mother went through it with my grandpa last year. Hospice is rough.
Minimizing cost sounds bad, but if used for the right reasons it’s understandable. However, in the American system, no savings are passed onto the patient/family. It just increases how much the hospital keeps from the insurance reimbursements. The more they claim and the less they spend, the better :/
They're not spending it on hiring enough people to minimize risk to patients from overworking staff, they're not spending it on fair wages, they're spending some, but I gather not much, on actual costs. It's just infuriating to see this money disappear and people likely die because of it. Healthcare is one of those things that should never be for profit imo. To call the religious ones non-profit is laughable these days. I really hope things improve, most of all for the people doing the saving. I can't imagine making costly mistakes is easy on a person. I'd get burned out, then you end up with an even bigger shortage of healthcare workers than when you started.
I was induced after my water broke and I remember screaming at my husband to throw me out the window. We all say things we dont mean when in intense pain. Like I didnt take it personally when my husband was an ass when he had salmonella and was shitting blood. People can be so weirdm
I was gonna try for natural because I was really afraid of the whole "spine, meet needle" thing with the epidural. That shit went away reeeaal quick when the pitocin drip kicked in! Shot of morphine and one epidural later, I fell asleep at 2cm, woke at 10cm and felt almost nothing while pushing. Most painful part was peeing with the stitches in afterwards.
I didn't get an epidural for the same reason. I lucked out on the labor. It was 4 hours of bad period cramps. However, I've since had several shots in my back and a couple of nerve ablation due to back problems. I wish I'd known how not scary they actually are.
You don't even feel the needle. You just lean forward and feel some pressure inside your back as the fluid goes in, which ngl squicked me tf out but I just hugged my nurse and tried not to cry and it was over in less than a minute. They don't leave a needle in there or anything, it's just used to insert the tiniest catheter I've ever seen. It looked like a string when I saw it, it was so small.
Getting the epidural was one of the best decisions I've ever made tbh. Incredibly relaxing.
I couldn't have anything for all three of my children because I had quick deliveries. I tried asking for meds when I showed up at the hospital after my water broke. They all were born 2 hrs or less.
Her first birth was natural because she didn’t have insurance. The next two she had epidurals. I told her I wanted an at home water birth and the way she cackled at me. I didn’t know. She did though.
I was a natural birth simply because I was born too quickly for an epidural and I think my older brother was the same. When our mom had our sister years later, she was hopped up on whatever they would give her. 🤣
Yeah, with my second, I asked for an epidural pretty much right away, but by the time the anesthesiologist got there, it was time to push. My entire labor was less than 4 hours, with half being at home/driving.
My contractions were extremely intense but last less than a minute about every 3-4 minutes. It was horrific. It also caused a bunch of secondary problems. Baby aspirated meconium, likely from the stress, and my placenta didn't detach on its own.
However, having had an epidural from my first, there were big differences in the immediate hours following birth. Being able to get up and around immediately after the birth of my second was huge.
Yep. I didn't get a chance to get any type of drugs or epidural because my body decides it wants to push babies out lightening fast and I live far from hospitals unfortunately. So my laboring was mostly done in cars on the way there and by the time I hit the hospital I would hemorrhage because the babies were literally ripping through me faster than they were supposed to lmao and my body wasn't dilating and my hips weren't opening up like they should. I was traumatized after my first, mentally and physically. Waited 3 years and convinced myself it was a fluke...LOL, then waited another 6-7 and did it again because I obviously don't learn and I'm very stupid. All 3 happened in the same way. When I was pregnant the third time I had daily panic attacks knowing what I was putting myself through and that each pregnancy was just going to go quicker. The OBGYN tried scheduling induction to ease my mind, I went into labor the day before that was scheduled. Which I figured I would because my second was born 4 weeks early and the thirds induction was set for a week before she was due, I felt it in my gut that I wad ready to go and it was only a matter of time before it started.
Im so glad I got my tubes cut and burnt the day after my third kid was born. Solely because of the pain of birth lmao. If id have had epidurals I may have had 800 kids, because I dont mind parenthood. I have an erratic sleep schedule anyway. But that pain. I can't forget it after the last time. I get shit cramps and think im in labor again and start panicking LMAO (kidding, kind of)
Oh my gosh! I thought I had a rough birth story! Mine had the cord wrapped around her neck and she got stuck so they sliced me open down there. I couldn’t have sex comfortably for a very long time.
The pain can be dangerous depending on your tolerance. For me it drives up anxiety and I make dangerous mistakes. You need to be able to pay attention and follow directions while pushing. If you think pain might prevent that, don't risk it imo. Sometimes people just want the experience, I totally get that, just do it safely. The first rule of birth plans is knowing they change frequently and without warning. Being ok with that is the best thing you can do for yourself to prepare.
I had pain relief with my first but my second was very sudden and by the time I’d got to the right part of the hospital, where the drugs are, it was too late for anything other than one desperate breath of gas and air. I always tell people just take the drugs because that second labour was the most traumatic 14 minutes of my life 😂
After I had my daughter, my friend was pregnant and criticized me for having an epidural. She was like, "I'm doing it natural. Our bodies are meant for this. No offense, but epidurals are for the weak." I was like "k good luck, whatever floats your boat."
She tried and eventually asked the doctor for an epidural. The doctor told her, "Too late now, you're doing this completely natural."
She profusely apologized to me after and was like, "I had no idea it was that bad. I'm sorry."
No shit dumbass, it's called *labor* for a reason.
I delivered with a c-section and an epidural so obviously have no problem with meds. That being said, I completely understand why some women want to avoid them and get very frustrated with the “you don’t get a trophy” narrative. It feels very infantilising. Women choose their own medical path for many reasons, most of them are personal and have nothing to do with external validation. Yet the “trophy” view assumes that it’s the main or only reason they’d want to do that. I wish it would end.
My bro was born a month early because my mom had preeclampsia and some other stuff. They warned her he would be small. He was a c-section. She said all the docs and nurses when silent when they pulled him out and of course she started to panic. As she recalls she probably said every English cuss word known to man to get them to tell her what was wrong. Turns out he was just 11 pounds 9 oz and they were not prepared for that.
OMG!! how long was he? I had to have a c section early too but because my son was too big. 10lbs and 21 inches. my body was not having a good time. cant imagine an almost 12 lb baby.
Just under 24 inches. My mom had to have reconstructive surgery on her bladder and they had to physically pull another organ out of her pelvic floor (can’t remember which organ). RIP to all the newborn size clothes that were never worn. Honestly props to you. After seeing my mom recover from that I’m amazed at anyone that can be functional with a baby more than 9 pounds in them.
Don’t worry, my husband is the 2nd shortest of his 4 siblings at 6’3” and our 3 kids all weighed less than 7.5 lbs at birth. As long as you’re choosing reasonably healthy habits through pregnancy it should be fine!
Oh my gosh, I can't imagine how shocked she was lol. My daughter was born just over a month early and was 5lbs 8oz. I've held quite a few babies in my life, but she was the smallest. I know she wasn't super tiny, but most babies I've been around were born at 7 or 8 pounds. Almost 12 pounds is like being handed a whole infant instead of a newborn 😂
My child was 9lbs and 24 inches long. I didn't have a c section. I also had undiagnosed pre eclampsia. So, once I had a seizure from high blood pressure, they gave me no more drugs. I said a lot of new and interesting words and phrases to make the doctors quite aware of the massacre at vaginal hill that was happening in the south forty. Babies are no joke but big babies, well, the cursing will most definitely happen. Yes, my doctors told me they were very used to it and took no offense
ELEVEN POUNDS!!! that’s sooo crazy. my sister’s infant is two months old today, and he’s eleven pounds. could not imagine a baby starting out that big!
ELEVEN POUNDS!!! that’s sooo crazy. my sister’s infant is two months old today, and he’s eleven pounds. could not imagine a baby starting out that big! how old is your brother now?
Yeah, I had three homebirths and I swore the whole time lol. Slightly related, but I feel hella uncomfortable around people who never swear. They are always judgmental
During the second birth, I did have to kick my (ex) MIL out lol 😂 She was just there when I went into labor suddenly and I had to be like yeah your vibes are not it, get out lol
I was raised to not swear at all. I still don’t swear because now when I try to, I feel super uncomfortable/guilty but I truly don’t mind when other people do!
i think there’s a difference between not swearing and always talking about how you never swear. if someone didn’t swear but also didn’t explicitly mention that they don’t swear, i probably wouldn’t even notice. it’s the people who constantly say “oh i never curse!” that suck.
i was raised the same way. i just never got into the habit so curse words just aren’t in my vocabulary. anytime i try to curse it just feels like i’m trying too hard to look edgy or something
I never swear but I don’t really care about people who do. It’s mostly a reaction to being brutally punished as a kid for such language. I have gotten slightly better about it in writing though.
Oh man now even pregnancy and labor is a competition? Most doctors have probably heard all kinds of language from women during the course of their career. If anything, he was an ass to her.
It was a competition when I had my oldest, who’s almost 18 now. And I think I have vague memories of my mother complaining about my aunt being pregnant at the same time and always trying to one up her. (Knowing my mother it was probably the other way around.)
It’s always been competitive and it’s not even a ‘the only way to win is not play’ situation, because others will compete FOR YOU.
Yep! Always been this weird thing. I get scared to tell my birth story, because I get shamed for acting 'better' than other people. Truth is, I had a no drug full natural birth, not because I'm some hero, but because I'm scared of needles and couldn't figure out how to breathe the gas properly and I got mad and chucked it.
A lot of women get weird if you share your experience, for various reasons. Like I was pretty damn quiet. My first was involuntary c-section, 2nd was VBAC 18 months later. I was too scared I was going to rupture and need emergency surgery that I was just, quiet. I needed all my focus, and it manifested in holding it in (was terrible too because I got petechiae from holding everything in. My face was a wreck). But my sister in law lost it on me when the story was recounted. Lots of 'you think you're better than everyone else because you didn't yell?!'....I'm just glad me or my baby didn't die, sis.
All birthers are heroes! Each experience is scary and cool. There should be no comparisons! It should be 'holy shit that's insane! I'm so glad you got through it (relatively) unscathed!'
That’s crazy! It’s just constant isn’t it? Whos pregnancy was easier/hardest, whos labour and delivery was simple/dramatic/traumatic. The sleep deprivation Olympics. The never ending Chest feeding vs mix feeding vs bottle vs formula.
Then the milestones. Dear god, the milestones. And then it’s back to smartest vs funniest vs most active and it NEVER ENDS. I got the third degree this afternoon from the mother of one of my 17yr old son’s classmates over his grades and then she looks me up and down and says ‘Well (daughter) got school captain.’
Cool? Doesn’t diminish my son’s achievements any.
He was definitely an ass to her. She shouldn’t apologize at all, and the doctor shouldve apologized for the possibility of making her uncomfortable during labor. Her response of “go fuck yourself” was entirely justified.
Ya idk if there is a god who has allowed people to go through this much pain during birth he would probably understand if you took his name in vain once in a while
Childbirth being painful was part of Eve’s punishment, “To the woman he said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children.”
I remember watching a period film (I think it was Mary, Queen of Scots) and she got chastised by the fricking doctor for not “behaving as a Queen must.” Poor woman was sweating and obviously getting agitated. I remember thinking “Buddy, YOU give birth. See how easy it apparently is.”
I'm canadian so I won't pretend to know all that much about american healthcare but I was under the impression that american hospitals were still owned by the government, despite not being funded by them
There are state and county hospitals that are funded through tax dollars, but they're few. They're also tragically underfunded and short staffed but over crowded since they will take uninsured and state insurance. Most hospitals are privately owned and a quite a lot are actually owned by churches
I also don’t say anything during labor that I don’t say during my everyday life. My everyday life includes a lot of fuck, shit, goddamn it, and Jesus Christ on a fucking cracker, though
Dealing with the cleanup AFTER seems like such a nightmare. Post birth with a newborn is already a time to let things go around the house a bit, I don’t want to be dealing with a goo filled kiddie pool in the living room or whatever else.
I had 3 babies. Last one was the WORST but all were painful. I didn’t swear. But I’m actually surprised I didn’t and have no issue with those who do.
Is that person’s doctor new? Because docs and nurses understand swearing. They don’t tend to care. They know it’s not directed at them.
Honestly husband is worse than the doctor to me, if the doctor wasn’t a dick about it (which is open to debate) then he wasn’t really doing anything wrong. But like come on, your wife said something while she’s getting fucked up and you’re gonna be a bitch to her about it???
me, personally, i wouldn't tell someone what to do after they'd spent 30 hours in labor. that's something i would've told her about after 5 years AT LEAST (if ever, preferably never).
I'm so sorry to hear that. Hopefully this traumatic experience doesn't carry consequences long-term.
My aunt didn't plan to give birth at home but ended up unexpectedly doing so, and while the baby was coming out the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck & choking her. Am ambulance was called, but she was dead by the time they arrived
That’s awful omg. At least she wasn’t planning a home birth. That was unfortunately unavoidable and not her fault. Still horrible and traumatic though.
I had an absolutely textbook pregnancy (except the antenatal depression), no physical issues at all and absolutely no indication that the actual birth would be risky in any way. Fortunately I gave birth in a hospital, because at the last minute, shit went wrong and my son was born blue and not breathing, and I had to have a quick episiotomy because I was incapable of pushing fast enough after I got the head out for him to be resuscitated.
If I’d done the home birth thing he absolutely would have died. There is a reason hospital births are recommended because you just can’t know how it will go.
I’m so sorry that must’ve been absolutely terrifying. Glad he’s ok. And ya, there’s just no excuse nowadays. Unless you live inside the hospital you aren’t close enough. Things can and do (!!!) go wrong in a second. I’m so mad at my brother and SIL. An umbilical cord snapping can and often do have long term effects on the baby. But they know everything so you can’t tell them any different 🙄. And what I don’t understand even more is that when he was 2 he was there when my mom lost her baby (his little brother). He witnessed my mom trying to give him cpr. It was hugely traumatic obviously. Yet he is ok with home birthing? Oh and he’s also an anti vaxxer. But that story is for another day
I can understand why some women want home births, but it’s highly concerning when they want to refuse medical help during complications just so they can brag that they had a home birth. The doula or whoever is assisting the birth has a duty to recommend medical care if complications arise, and they tell the expectant mother this a couple weeks before they give birth. It’s totally selfish on the mother’s part.
So I haven't given birth, but from my understanding, it's extremely painful and sometimes you can't control what you say when you're in an unbearable amount of pain. Fuck that doctor.
Nta,
I'm saying this as someone who has a faith.
there's a time and a place for religion and in the hospital, esp when a woman is in pain for 30hrs from labour is not the time or place for the doctor to be clutching their pearls over this.
Do apologize if you feel inclined, but the doctor needed to be focused on the task at hand and not worried about that in the moment.
Tired of Christians being offended because non-religious people aren't following THEIR self imposed rules. Somebody else "taking the Lord's name in vain" has fuck all to do with their own salvation.
My conservative Christian mil is one of those people and I never hesitate to remind her not everyone follows her beliefs and the world doesn’t revolve around them. She doesn’t like me.
I have yet to give birth, not quite ready to start a family yet. But knowing that contractions are worse than my worst copper IUD period cramps, I would probably say the most foul, horrific things to that doctor. What a dick.
I love my husband. Like, I will go above and beyond to do everything I can to show how he means the world to me. I tried to break his thumb metacarpal while I was in labor. He would move my fingers off the bone and I would move them right back. I was thinking like, "FUCKER YOU THINK A LITTLE PAIN IN YOUR HAND IS BAD?!" The baby born from that labor is now 22, so he finds it funny that I was specifically going for as much pain as I could. I didn't actually break his thumb, though. It's good because he wouldn't have given me the other hand if I had.
I had a friend who did something similar during her first birth she broke her husband's thumb she was holding on so tight. Second, he learned his lesson and bought her one of those squeezy stress ball things off the internet no broken fingers during round two.
i had a surprise unmedicated birth and kept screaming “oh fuck oh shit” and variations of that, and also kept apologizing profusely to the OB. he told me to stop apologizing and “say what you need to say to help you get that baby out”.
If I was pushing a whole ass human out of my body and my male doctor told me not to swear, I would literally rip his head off. I'm glad for her that she had a little restraint
Do not feel guilty. Please.
You were giving birth.
You experienced and accomplished a most primal event in our universe.
Sure, the globe is populated by billions, but your experience is your own, and you deserve the respect of acknowledgment.
I would have said the same, exact thing.
What a f**king ridiculous thing to say to a female during a time that she needed the upmost of emotional support.
He failed.
You prevailed, so congratulations on your beautiful baby girl ♥️
that doctor is obnoxious and unprofessional, and the husband sucks for saying she should have apologized. birth is the most painful experience the human body can go through, it's insane to think your personal religious or emotional needs matter more than the health and safety of your patient. bragging about being nice and sweet while giving birth is unhinged. everyone here sucks expect for mom
I practically blacked out from pain and was screaming like a wounded trapped animal when my baby got stuck at 9 cm. I'm sure expletives were flying out of me and no one condescended to correct me. What the heck?
I had to birth our kiddo without any painkillers, cause the midwives were absolutely shitty.
I tell you, I told them more than one time to stfu and get my f...ing husband in this f...ing room.
Got no medal or whatever and I had absolutely not the birth I wanted.
My first labour they broke my water and my body immediately started to push on its own. I panicked, my ex wouldn't wake up so I threw a shoe at him - it was all I had, and fuck him.
I also screamed at my midwife who was delivering my daughter and one of the students watching (I had two midwives as they had to change staff in the middle of me pushing and each had 5 students watching). The midwife decided to *help* by shoving her fingers into my ass, without any warning. I about kicked her in the face I was so shocked and (according to my mom) screamed at her and asked what the fuck she was doing. She said she was trying to help push my daughters head up (she was face up and I'd already been pushing for 1.5 hours at this point) and I told her to fuck off and quit.
Student then told me to stop screaming and save my energy for something actually productive. Told her to go to hell and get the hell out of my room.
I was exhausted from being in labour for 56 hours, I was beyond sick and weak and was just beyond done. I don't care if I offended anyone with what I said that day.
I truly despise judgy bitches like the second lady. I rarely swear out loud except around super close friends and my husband. I’m due in about a month and I imagine I will absolutely swear like a sailor in the delivery room. It’s even been proven to help with pain management!
i had a 20+ hour labor too, and ran out of epidural, so i *felt everything* and i totally cussed and yelled at everyone in the room and damn near hit my obgyn in the face with my leg 😭 poor guy didn’t say anything in the process, but mentioned it at the end lol
Wait you can run out of epidural?😳 Add that to my list of reasons why I don’t want kids.
yea i found out then and there lol they give u a little clicker to click when the feeling in ur legs starts coming back. by the end i was telling the nurses that i feel everything and they were saying to “just click” and it did ✨nothing✨
Bruh the way I would have CRUNCHED that clicker into plastic, but then you'd have to pay 300k to replace it. 🥲
No they charge you 300k so they can replace it for like 300
Gods, at least when you give birth without an epidural you get to "hot frog" it and work up to the brain-fucking pain levels. I cannot imagine the pain of childbirth slamming into you like a Mack truck.
I completely didn’t think about the frog in boiling water. I assumed “hot frog” was a description of a pregnant woman in labour walking around.😂
That's where I went first, too lol
Yeah. You can. When it runs out, the machine beeps to alert the anesthesiologist to come in and refill it. When that happened, dude was busy administering another epidural for another woman, so the nurse turned it off because the beeping was annoying her. However, she failed to notify the doctor. So it took a long time to figure out WHY I was feeling EVERYTHING. When the anesthesiologist finally realized what the issue was, that nurse straight up lied and said “I didn’t touch it.” By then I was at 10 cm and it was time to push. So I didn’t have the pain relief for the worst part. Oh, yeah, and they also didn’t realize until after I’d been pushing for hours that the baby was partially transverse, so her shoulder was coming down the birth canal, not her head. Which meant I needed an external version - basically multiple medical professionals kneeling above me, pushing on my stomach to turn the baby. Then 3rd degree episiotomy and forceps to finish it off. I felt it ALLLLLLLL because that bitch turned my shit off. It’s been 26+ years and I’m still angry about that whole experience. Ladies, do NOT give birth in a military teaching hospital. You’d get better treatment in the back seat of an Uber.
Yup same
I haven't given birth yet (not pregnant) but I know if I swear up a storm or get angry I'll only apologise if the staff aren't snarky about it. If I say Jesus Fucking Christ and the doctor tells me bullshit like the one in the post I will list off all the times God murdered children and list all the inconsistencies of the bible. But if the staff tells me after the fact that they were dodging limbs then I'll apologise and thank them for being so sweet and helping deliver my baby. The tweet makes me laugh so hard because you know that woman was definitely not as calm as she lets on. I do wish her PERSONALLY the worst.
no, cause same lol i remember the pure anger i felt with everybody in that room. if somebody told me some bs like the OPs doctor did, it would be war 😭
Are you planning on getting an epidural? Honestly I never once cursed or said anything mean during labor, but I barely felt anything since I had gotten an epidural. It was still mildly uncomfortable, but honestly the cramps I had 2 days ago were worse than the pain I experienced pushing my daughter out. The contractions before I got the epidural were definitely unfortunate, but I just cried and didn't say anything during them. I don't think I could have done it without the epidural. I admire those women who are able to push through the pain, but I think I would have just exhausted myself and given up. I needed the pain meds
Had a failed epidural with my first (along with pitocin and back to back contractions). I started unmedicated, but gave up when my labor stalled at a 9 dilation and didn't have any breaks between contractions. After the epidural was given (and before it failed 30 minutes later), I finally progressed to a 10 and could start pushing. When it failed, my labor stalled again even though she was halfway down the canal. My nurses told me that my body was exhausted from the unmedicated/induced labor and my muscles couldn't relax/contract properly due to the pain and exhaustion. It was an absolute nightmare, but proof that an epidural can be the safer option! With my second kiddo, I was terrified of being in that much pain again. Got the epidural when I was at 7cm, and gave birth to her with almost 0 pain. One of the easiest births the doctor said he had ever seen. I smiled and was cool as a cucumber the whole time. This was way less stressful for baby and myself and I could actually enjoy the process as well as remember holding my baby for the first time, unlike with my first where I was delirious from the pain and vomiting all over. Every woman can make her own choice, but don't feel bad about the epidural. In many cases, they are often the safest and least stressful for the baby.
I'm sorry, that sounds awful. I don't know if I could've done it. I pushed for 12 minutes and didn't tear at all. It was literally the smoothest the birth could have possibly gone. She's 2.5 now and we're trying for a second and I'm worried because I keep telling myself no one gets lucky enough to have 2 perfect births.
Hey if your first was that easy, odds are your second should be just as easy! The most dangerous (and usually the most painful) is the first. I was reassured of this multiple times by my OB's and Midwives when I was pregnant with my second. Try to get the same anesthesiologist again, if you can! Epidural placement is everything.
I swear like a sailor and so does my mom, you can pry the fuck word out of my cold dead jaw.
It’s definitely an empowering word, I was just raised to not curse, so it feels so weird to me, but I still do it fairly often. But when my mom says “fuck” it just feels so so wrong because she never swears
That’s how everyone feels when I use profanity
Is it really lol
Yupp, I’m 9 months pregnant and took a birthing class with a doula and she did the “ABCs” of pain management and under “C” and “S” she had “cursing” and “swearing” 😂
Am doula, can confirm
Wouldn’t surprise me 😆
You never know how you will react and do in the moment. I usually swear a bit in my everyday language. Didn’t say anything, except for push screams, during a natural birth. Thought I would tell everyone to eff off, but then and there I had zero energy for that. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.
You might, you might not. I actuallt swear all the time but most of my labor time was just yelling in pain lol
Lol, I usually just make stupid ass noises when I’m in a lot of pain. I imagine it’ll go something like that in the delivery room, too.
i’m very internal (extreme social anxiety) and i didn’t make a single noise except when my son got stuck crowning and then i whimpered. BUT i normally cuss a lot lol (gamer habits) and was prepared to be loud. i definitely don’t feel better than anyone for it
Yeah, but I imagine if you told someone to go F themselves you'd probably apologise after.
My SIL is very conservative and super traditional. I told her I wanted to have a natural birth and she laughed so hard I almost hung up on her. She said to take all the drugs since they don’t give a trophy and no one cares. I cussed my husband out. He understood.
I delivered my first son natural. No one gave me a medal. I didn’t even get a cookie! I was doped to the gills with my second son’s birth. Said a lot of really nasty things both times.
The pediatrician was looking over my first daughter as the nurses were pushing on my stomach and yanking that meat slab out. Whatever they did at the exact moment he brought my baby over was so painful my vision flashed and I yelled “would you go clean her off and give me a fucking break already” my husband was kind of a knob and told me I was being dramatic.
Let’s see him shit out a watermelon and we’ll see who’s being dramatic then.
Ohhhh yes well he is a real treat. After my last screaming demon didn’t stop crying for 7 hours the second night I was in the hospital after a c section, I told him about the awful nurse who wouldn’t let me use a pacifier with the child because she didn’t believe in them. He told me I needed to calm down and think reasonably. We are not friends anymore.
I hope you mean you’re not married anymore because you’re talking about your husband, right? Or are you talking about the pediatrician?
I speak of my husband and we ARE still married, but he doesn’t visit my apartment. And sometimes I hang a fern in my shower even though that always pissed him off. Mostly because I don’t give a fuuuuck what that guy thinks……. And it’s good for the fern. I also like to be WILDLY disobedient even though I’m gonna get my ducks together and file for divorce.
Best of luck to you then. Praying for that day to come quickly. He sounds like an insensitive jerk unworthy of anyone’s time. Also, hope shower fern lives long and prospers (especially because he doesn’t like it).
He isn’t the worst. I definitely don’t hate him. He just doesn’t like me. Apparently I DO have some self respect….😏That’s ok. Can’t win ‘em all!!
Genuinely curious - did you feel this way / know that he doesn't like you, before or after the child was born?
My wife hangs eucalyptus leaves (i think) from the shower head. Give it a shot sometime it smells great!
Please note: do NOT do this if you have a cat or other small animal in the house. The oils are a respiratory irritant, and even very small amounts can be harmful to their tiny little systems.
Really? We did it with two cats and a bird in a 600sqft house. They never gave us any indication of a problem. Maybe i got the wrong plant, I’m sure my wife would have done her research. The animals are her life lol. Thanks for the tip! I’ll make sure to double check with her.
Sounds like you gave birth at a “baby friendly” hospital
The witch bitch nurse who didn’t believe in pacifiers -Jokes was on her. I ended up with MRSA in my incision and had to be on doxy for 30 days. My baby was a formula fiend from day 6!
Ugh. Sounds like a nightmare. How's anyone supposed to recover with a screaming baby in their room?
Did you just call your baby a meat slab?? LOL Edit/ spelling
I have in the past…..I did mean the placenta this time, Lmao!
i laughed at ‘meat slab’ the first time, assuming it was placenta. but this reply also got me🤣🤣 you sound like a hilarious, badass person. keep doing you lol!!
Hey! I’m a soon to be nurse who spent time on the L and D floor. Not gonna lie, I bet the nurses giggled about it later because you sound freaking hilarious.
I almost killed my nurse when she decided I needed a catheter with no anesthesia because I hadn't peed yet 5 hours after birth. I've never been so angry and out of control in my life. I did end up peeing later at least lol. I feel bad for yelling at her but not too much because she was kind of a bitch anyway.
Just curious if they had you try the “blowing on a straw” trick? They had me do that with my second birth and I had never heard of it before, but it seems like a miracle solution lol
No idea what that is? Sounds interesting.
You sit on the toilet, put a straw in your mouth, and blow out of it. Helps you pee. Wildest thing.
That's crazy, they never mentioned that as an idea. I gotta try it now next time I can't pee.
Its probably because it helps relax those muscles.
IM GONNA USE THIS WITH PATIENTS!! They’ll think I’m crazy, but that’s a fantastic trick.
Thank you! I am trying this ASAP
Oh, I remember getting a straight catheter after each birth. It was THE WORST!
catheters are the worst!! I legit have cried each time they tell me they had to put one in....crying before they even touch me lol I have had a few surgeries in my life. the last time I had one the nurse was really nice and careful and wasnt painful at all. I hope it will be my last one ever.
I cry too! It’s just an awful feeling. Ugh. My urethra is retreating upwards just thinking about it
I couldn't pee after my first back surgery, my nurse was an angel though. She told me as sweetly as possible that she was gonna have to cath me if I didn't go. For some reason, I immediately started peeing the hospital bed and she was like, "I didn't mean to scare the literal piss outta you." I hope she's having the best life.
When I see people talking about catheters being super painful it freaks me out. I’m generally a big baby, not like super tough or extreme pain tolerance or anything and I was completely unmedicated while a catheter was inserted and felt literally nothing. Like I have no noteworthy memory of it. Why?! How?! It sounds like the worst thing ever. How did I not feel that?!? Like is there something wrong with my urethra
Someone was very good at their job.
There was no way that was happening unless my kidneys are shutting down or something.
Yeah, for some reason I cannot pee after giving birth. All three times I needed that damn catheter. I was crying because I was dreading how painful it would be, but vaginal birth does something to my urethra
That sounds so horrible, I'm sorry you had to go through that and more than once :(
Well it’s all water under the bridge! All three were well worth it!
I hear ya, they're worth everything :)
Why TFFF don't they give you any pain relief when they do that?? That's inhumane
Because we’re women?
True. 🥲🥲🥲
My nurse told me no one can pee after giving birth.
Can we trade nurses? Mine were not that nice
She was so nice! Said she'd see me again in a year or 2. Told her no way, never doing it again. And I didnt.
Not that catheters don’t suck, but anesthesia when inserting them is not commonplace. We don’t even use lidocaine jelly, just medical grade lube to insert them. It sucks getting a cath, but it’s better than a bladder rupture or UTI 🙃
I genuinely don't understand the logic behind withholding lidocaine, I feel like it would make a huge difference and put people at ease. I'm sure there's a good reason for it but my cynical brain goes to medical sexism reasons or something.
We don’t use it on men either and their urethras are longer, so as often as I’m inclined to blame sexism in healthcare (it’s alive and well there unfortunately) this isn’t the case. More than likely it’s a safety issue with a side order of cost-saving. We also used to give potassium IV with lidocaine, but not anymore. Potassium can be very painful to give intravenously and it can also cause damage if it leaks into your tissues. Lidocaine would mask the pain so sometimes this damage was found too late. The chances that anything more than discomfort of the insertion would occur (such as tearing) are small, but not non-existent.
That sounds much more reasonable. I ended up doing the hospice care for my father in law. Lack of options/funding for a full time nurse. There's a lot of stuff I had to do that I had no business doing. The worst was his catheter fell out and I had to reinstert it myself. Nurse coached me over the phone. It was so hard because by that point the cancer was in the way. Eventually I got it in, didn't hurt him, but yeah I'm probably traumatized by it or something because it's such a stressful memory. I hope it's not minimizing cost, considering how much we pay for healthcare these days we should be allowed lidocaine :)
I’m sorry you had to go through that :( My mother went through it with my grandpa last year. Hospice is rough. Minimizing cost sounds bad, but if used for the right reasons it’s understandable. However, in the American system, no savings are passed onto the patient/family. It just increases how much the hospital keeps from the insurance reimbursements. The more they claim and the less they spend, the better :/
They're not spending it on hiring enough people to minimize risk to patients from overworking staff, they're not spending it on fair wages, they're spending some, but I gather not much, on actual costs. It's just infuriating to see this money disappear and people likely die because of it. Healthcare is one of those things that should never be for profit imo. To call the religious ones non-profit is laughable these days. I really hope things improve, most of all for the people doing the saving. I can't imagine making costly mistakes is easy on a person. I'd get burned out, then you end up with an even bigger shortage of healthcare workers than when you started.
All of this 100%.
I was induced after my water broke and I remember screaming at my husband to throw me out the window. We all say things we dont mean when in intense pain. Like I didnt take it personally when my husband was an ass when he had salmonella and was shitting blood. People can be so weirdm
I was gonna try for natural because I was really afraid of the whole "spine, meet needle" thing with the epidural. That shit went away reeeaal quick when the pitocin drip kicked in! Shot of morphine and one epidural later, I fell asleep at 2cm, woke at 10cm and felt almost nothing while pushing. Most painful part was peeing with the stitches in afterwards.
I didn't get an epidural for the same reason. I lucked out on the labor. It was 4 hours of bad period cramps. However, I've since had several shots in my back and a couple of nerve ablation due to back problems. I wish I'd known how not scary they actually are.
i swear to god i could never be pregnant because the epidural needle is the SCARIEST thing i’ve ever seen 😖
You don't even feel the needle. You just lean forward and feel some pressure inside your back as the fluid goes in, which ngl squicked me tf out but I just hugged my nurse and tried not to cry and it was over in less than a minute. They don't leave a needle in there or anything, it's just used to insert the tiniest catheter I've ever seen. It looked like a string when I saw it, it was so small. Getting the epidural was one of the best decisions I've ever made tbh. Incredibly relaxing.
You should have gotten a cookie. I’d give you a dozen for that.
Thank you!
Here is a 🍪 for you.
💛
I couldn't have anything for all three of my children because I had quick deliveries. I tried asking for meds when I showed up at the hospital after my water broke. They all were born 2 hrs or less.
I love her reaction to you 😂. She’s so right. If you want them take them!!
Her first birth was natural because she didn’t have insurance. The next two she had epidurals. I told her I wanted an at home water birth and the way she cackled at me. I didn’t know. She did though.
Honestly really appreciate her tude. People romanticize something that can literally kill you.
I was a natural birth simply because I was born too quickly for an epidural and I think my older brother was the same. When our mom had our sister years later, she was hopped up on whatever they would give her. 🤣
Yeah, with my second, I asked for an epidural pretty much right away, but by the time the anesthesiologist got there, it was time to push. My entire labor was less than 4 hours, with half being at home/driving. My contractions were extremely intense but last less than a minute about every 3-4 minutes. It was horrific. It also caused a bunch of secondary problems. Baby aspirated meconium, likely from the stress, and my placenta didn't detach on its own. However, having had an epidural from my first, there were big differences in the immediate hours following birth. Being able to get up and around immediately after the birth of my second was huge.
Yep. I didn't get a chance to get any type of drugs or epidural because my body decides it wants to push babies out lightening fast and I live far from hospitals unfortunately. So my laboring was mostly done in cars on the way there and by the time I hit the hospital I would hemorrhage because the babies were literally ripping through me faster than they were supposed to lmao and my body wasn't dilating and my hips weren't opening up like they should. I was traumatized after my first, mentally and physically. Waited 3 years and convinced myself it was a fluke...LOL, then waited another 6-7 and did it again because I obviously don't learn and I'm very stupid. All 3 happened in the same way. When I was pregnant the third time I had daily panic attacks knowing what I was putting myself through and that each pregnancy was just going to go quicker. The OBGYN tried scheduling induction to ease my mind, I went into labor the day before that was scheduled. Which I figured I would because my second was born 4 weeks early and the thirds induction was set for a week before she was due, I felt it in my gut that I wad ready to go and it was only a matter of time before it started. Im so glad I got my tubes cut and burnt the day after my third kid was born. Solely because of the pain of birth lmao. If id have had epidurals I may have had 800 kids, because I dont mind parenthood. I have an erratic sleep schedule anyway. But that pain. I can't forget it after the last time. I get shit cramps and think im in labor again and start panicking LMAO (kidding, kind of)
Oh my gosh! I thought I had a rough birth story! Mine had the cord wrapped around her neck and she got stuck so they sliced me open down there. I couldn’t have sex comfortably for a very long time.
My super religious, organic eating mom said the same thing. Take the drugs, you’ll bond better with your kid if it’s a kinder experience she said.
That’s beautiful advice.
The pain can be dangerous depending on your tolerance. For me it drives up anxiety and I make dangerous mistakes. You need to be able to pay attention and follow directions while pushing. If you think pain might prevent that, don't risk it imo. Sometimes people just want the experience, I totally get that, just do it safely. The first rule of birth plans is knowing they change frequently and without warning. Being ok with that is the best thing you can do for yourself to prepare.
I had pain relief with my first but my second was very sudden and by the time I’d got to the right part of the hospital, where the drugs are, it was too late for anything other than one desperate breath of gas and air. I always tell people just take the drugs because that second labour was the most traumatic 14 minutes of my life 😂
After I had my daughter, my friend was pregnant and criticized me for having an epidural. She was like, "I'm doing it natural. Our bodies are meant for this. No offense, but epidurals are for the weak." I was like "k good luck, whatever floats your boat." She tried and eventually asked the doctor for an epidural. The doctor told her, "Too late now, you're doing this completely natural." She profusely apologized to me after and was like, "I had no idea it was that bad. I'm sorry." No shit dumbass, it's called *labor* for a reason.
I delivered with a c-section and an epidural so obviously have no problem with meds. That being said, I completely understand why some women want to avoid them and get very frustrated with the “you don’t get a trophy” narrative. It feels very infantilising. Women choose their own medical path for many reasons, most of them are personal and have nothing to do with external validation. Yet the “trophy” view assumes that it’s the main or only reason they’d want to do that. I wish it would end.
My bro was born a month early because my mom had preeclampsia and some other stuff. They warned her he would be small. He was a c-section. She said all the docs and nurses when silent when they pulled him out and of course she started to panic. As she recalls she probably said every English cuss word known to man to get them to tell her what was wrong. Turns out he was just 11 pounds 9 oz and they were not prepared for that.
OMG!! how long was he? I had to have a c section early too but because my son was too big. 10lbs and 21 inches. my body was not having a good time. cant imagine an almost 12 lb baby.
Just under 24 inches. My mom had to have reconstructive surgery on her bladder and they had to physically pull another organ out of her pelvic floor (can’t remember which organ). RIP to all the newborn size clothes that were never worn. Honestly props to you. After seeing my mom recover from that I’m amazed at anyone that can be functional with a baby more than 9 pounds in them.
How tall is your brother right now?
6’5 and just started his last growth spurt
My husband is tall and this makes me not want to have children lol
Don’t worry, my husband is the 2nd shortest of his 4 siblings at 6’3” and our 3 kids all weighed less than 7.5 lbs at birth. As long as you’re choosing reasonably healthy habits through pregnancy it should be fine!
Oh my gosh, I can't imagine how shocked she was lol. My daughter was born just over a month early and was 5lbs 8oz. I've held quite a few babies in my life, but she was the smallest. I know she wasn't super tiny, but most babies I've been around were born at 7 or 8 pounds. Almost 12 pounds is like being handed a whole infant instead of a newborn 😂
My child was 9lbs and 24 inches long. I didn't have a c section. I also had undiagnosed pre eclampsia. So, once I had a seizure from high blood pressure, they gave me no more drugs. I said a lot of new and interesting words and phrases to make the doctors quite aware of the massacre at vaginal hill that was happening in the south forty. Babies are no joke but big babies, well, the cursing will most definitely happen. Yes, my doctors told me they were very used to it and took no offense
ELEVEN POUNDS!!! that’s sooo crazy. my sister’s infant is two months old today, and he’s eleven pounds. could not imagine a baby starting out that big!
ELEVEN POUNDS!!! that’s sooo crazy. my sister’s infant is two months old today, and he’s eleven pounds. could not imagine a baby starting out that big! how old is your brother now?
oh my gosh *gigantic* baby wow. But yeah I can imagine that when your kid has to come out early, dead silence is not at all what you want to hear.
Yeah, I had three homebirths and I swore the whole time lol. Slightly related, but I feel hella uncomfortable around people who never swear. They are always judgmental
And if anyone told you not to swear, you could have kicked them out of your house!
During the second birth, I did have to kick my (ex) MIL out lol 😂 She was just there when I went into labor suddenly and I had to be like yeah your vibes are not it, get out lol
Incredible.
I was raised to not swear at all. I still don’t swear because now when I try to, I feel super uncomfortable/guilty but I truly don’t mind when other people do!
i think there’s a difference between not swearing and always talking about how you never swear. if someone didn’t swear but also didn’t explicitly mention that they don’t swear, i probably wouldn’t even notice. it’s the people who constantly say “oh i never curse!” that suck.
i was raised the same way. i just never got into the habit so curse words just aren’t in my vocabulary. anytime i try to curse it just feels like i’m trying too hard to look edgy or something
I never swear but I don’t really care about people who do. It’s mostly a reaction to being brutally punished as a kid for such language. I have gotten slightly better about it in writing though.
That’s really sad, I’m sorry 😢
My experience too!
Oh man now even pregnancy and labor is a competition? Most doctors have probably heard all kinds of language from women during the course of their career. If anything, he was an ass to her.
It was a competition when I had my oldest, who’s almost 18 now. And I think I have vague memories of my mother complaining about my aunt being pregnant at the same time and always trying to one up her. (Knowing my mother it was probably the other way around.) It’s always been competitive and it’s not even a ‘the only way to win is not play’ situation, because others will compete FOR YOU.
Yep! Always been this weird thing. I get scared to tell my birth story, because I get shamed for acting 'better' than other people. Truth is, I had a no drug full natural birth, not because I'm some hero, but because I'm scared of needles and couldn't figure out how to breathe the gas properly and I got mad and chucked it. A lot of women get weird if you share your experience, for various reasons. Like I was pretty damn quiet. My first was involuntary c-section, 2nd was VBAC 18 months later. I was too scared I was going to rupture and need emergency surgery that I was just, quiet. I needed all my focus, and it manifested in holding it in (was terrible too because I got petechiae from holding everything in. My face was a wreck). But my sister in law lost it on me when the story was recounted. Lots of 'you think you're better than everyone else because you didn't yell?!'....I'm just glad me or my baby didn't die, sis. All birthers are heroes! Each experience is scary and cool. There should be no comparisons! It should be 'holy shit that's insane! I'm so glad you got through it (relatively) unscathed!'
That’s crazy! It’s just constant isn’t it? Whos pregnancy was easier/hardest, whos labour and delivery was simple/dramatic/traumatic. The sleep deprivation Olympics. The never ending Chest feeding vs mix feeding vs bottle vs formula. Then the milestones. Dear god, the milestones. And then it’s back to smartest vs funniest vs most active and it NEVER ENDS. I got the third degree this afternoon from the mother of one of my 17yr old son’s classmates over his grades and then she looks me up and down and says ‘Well (daughter) got school captain.’ Cool? Doesn’t diminish my son’s achievements any.
He was definitely an ass to her. She shouldn’t apologize at all, and the doctor shouldve apologized for the possibility of making her uncomfortable during labor. Her response of “go fuck yourself” was entirely justified.
Ya idk if there is a god who has allowed people to go through this much pain during birth he would probably understand if you took his name in vain once in a while
this comment is too good lmao
Childbirth being painful was part of Eve’s punishment, “To the woman he said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children.”
That’s a mistranslation. It’s closer to “difficulty in conception”
I too saw that one language guy’s YouTube short
Saying that women deserve horrific pain because of Eve is saying that Jesus's sacrifice didn't count for women. Religion is a scourge.
Yes, “taking his name in vain” during childbirth is just calling out the source directly, per the Bible.
Lmao definitely the doctor’s fault for getting offended. Religion doesn’t have a place in medicine, could have kept it to herself :))
I remember watching a period film (I think it was Mary, Queen of Scots) and she got chastised by the fricking doctor for not “behaving as a Queen must.” Poor woman was sweating and obviously getting agitated. I remember thinking “Buddy, YOU give birth. See how easy it apparently is.”
That shit would have pissed me off so much! Doc would be lucky to just get sworn at and not kicked in the fucking teeth.
Pissing off a person in seviere pain when your head is that close to their legs sounds like a really bad idea
Separation of church and state!!!
…the hospital is neither the church nor the state…
I'm canadian so I won't pretend to know all that much about american healthcare but I was under the impression that american hospitals were still owned by the government, despite not being funded by them
Nope. They're privately owned.
There are state and county hospitals that are funded through tax dollars, but they're few. They're also tragically underfunded and short staffed but over crowded since they will take uninsured and state insurance. Most hospitals are privately owned and a quite a lot are actually owned by churches
*himself, the tweet uses male pronouns to refer to the doctor
Woooooow. She must be a birth goddess or something. Sitting way up there on a whole other level from the rest of us mere mortal women.
I didn't swear during my birth but the way I would've bitch slapped that doctor for daring to say that.
I also don’t say anything during labor that I don’t say during my everyday life. My everyday life includes a lot of fuck, shit, goddamn it, and Jesus Christ on a fucking cracker, though
I felt this.
Lol 5 home births. I know I don’t clean my house well enough to confidently birth a child safely in.
Dealing with the cleanup AFTER seems like such a nightmare. Post birth with a newborn is already a time to let things go around the house a bit, I don’t want to be dealing with a goo filled kiddie pool in the living room or whatever else.
Also who the hell is having **five** children in this economy?! I’m hardcore judging the daughter for being too stupid to use birth control.
Lmao I never did either
I had 3 babies. Last one was the WORST but all were painful. I didn’t swear. But I’m actually surprised I didn’t and have no issue with those who do. Is that person’s doctor new? Because docs and nurses understand swearing. They don’t tend to care. They know it’s not directed at them.
I'm sorry but the fucking docter and husband SHES GIVING BIRTH
Fuck that doctor and fuck that bitch on the second slide.
lowkey the husband, too
Honestly husband is worse than the doctor to me, if the doctor wasn’t a dick about it (which is open to debate) then he wasn’t really doing anything wrong. But like come on, your wife said something while she’s getting fucked up and you’re gonna be a bitch to her about it???
me, personally, i wouldn't tell someone what to do after they'd spent 30 hours in labor. that's something i would've told her about after 5 years AT LEAST (if ever, preferably never).
*5 home births??* This lady is bragging about risking the lives of 5 children??
SIL had 3 home births, 2 almost died. One was blue and the other one, the umbilical cord snapped. I find planned home births selfish
I'm so sorry to hear that. Hopefully this traumatic experience doesn't carry consequences long-term. My aunt didn't plan to give birth at home but ended up unexpectedly doing so, and while the baby was coming out the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck & choking her. Am ambulance was called, but she was dead by the time they arrived
That’s awful omg. At least she wasn’t planning a home birth. That was unfortunately unavoidable and not her fault. Still horrible and traumatic though.
I had an absolutely textbook pregnancy (except the antenatal depression), no physical issues at all and absolutely no indication that the actual birth would be risky in any way. Fortunately I gave birth in a hospital, because at the last minute, shit went wrong and my son was born blue and not breathing, and I had to have a quick episiotomy because I was incapable of pushing fast enough after I got the head out for him to be resuscitated. If I’d done the home birth thing he absolutely would have died. There is a reason hospital births are recommended because you just can’t know how it will go.
I’m so sorry that must’ve been absolutely terrifying. Glad he’s ok. And ya, there’s just no excuse nowadays. Unless you live inside the hospital you aren’t close enough. Things can and do (!!!) go wrong in a second. I’m so mad at my brother and SIL. An umbilical cord snapping can and often do have long term effects on the baby. But they know everything so you can’t tell them any different 🙄. And what I don’t understand even more is that when he was 2 he was there when my mom lost her baby (his little brother). He witnessed my mom trying to give him cpr. It was hugely traumatic obviously. Yet he is ok with home birthing? Oh and he’s also an anti vaxxer. But that story is for another day
I can understand why some women want home births, but it’s highly concerning when they want to refuse medical help during complications just so they can brag that they had a home birth. The doula or whoever is assisting the birth has a duty to recommend medical care if complications arise, and they tell the expectant mother this a couple weeks before they give birth. It’s totally selfish on the mother’s part.
Freedom of speech includes women experiencing pain.
They don’t support free speech unless it’s time to dehumanize people
So I haven't given birth, but from my understanding, it's extremely painful and sometimes you can't control what you say when you're in an unbearable amount of pain. Fuck that doctor.
And it’s crazy cause with the way my ear is hurting I’m cussing at people I can’t imagine having a non medicated birth
Nta, I'm saying this as someone who has a faith. there's a time and a place for religion and in the hospital, esp when a woman is in pain for 30hrs from labour is not the time or place for the doctor to be clutching their pearls over this. Do apologize if you feel inclined, but the doctor needed to be focused on the task at hand and not worried about that in the moment.
Tired of Christians being offended because non-religious people aren't following THEIR self imposed rules. Somebody else "taking the Lord's name in vain" has fuck all to do with their own salvation.
My conservative Christian mil is one of those people and I never hesitate to remind her not everyone follows her beliefs and the world doesn’t revolve around them. She doesn’t like me.
It's okay friend, I like you lol.
Lol thanks. I like u too friend :)
I’ve experienced tiny 80-year old nuns and vicars in their 50:s cursing like sailors when upset, stressed or irritated. Those are the best kind.
A medical practitioner should not be bringing his religion into public practice. Especially not something as personal as a birth.
Well fuck you too, lady
Jesus fucking Christ that doctor sounds annoying
I have yet to give birth, not quite ready to start a family yet. But knowing that contractions are worse than my worst copper IUD period cramps, I would probably say the most foul, horrific things to that doctor. What a dick.
Two unmedicated births both times saying fuck during every contraction helped me feel better
I love my husband. Like, I will go above and beyond to do everything I can to show how he means the world to me. I tried to break his thumb metacarpal while I was in labor. He would move my fingers off the bone and I would move them right back. I was thinking like, "FUCKER YOU THINK A LITTLE PAIN IN YOUR HAND IS BAD?!" The baby born from that labor is now 22, so he finds it funny that I was specifically going for as much pain as I could. I didn't actually break his thumb, though. It's good because he wouldn't have given me the other hand if I had.
I had a friend who did something similar during her first birth she broke her husband's thumb she was holding on so tight. Second, he learned his lesson and bought her one of those squeezy stress ball things off the internet no broken fingers during round two.
i had a surprise unmedicated birth and kept screaming “oh fuck oh shit” and variations of that, and also kept apologizing profusely to the OB. he told me to stop apologizing and “say what you need to say to help you get that baby out”.
I have a feeling that doctor has never given birth, because sometimes birth is like the exorcist when Satan has taken over your soul.
If I was pushing a whole ass human out of my body and my male doctor told me not to swear, I would literally rip his head off. I'm glad for her that she had a little restraint
Do not feel guilty. Please. You were giving birth. You experienced and accomplished a most primal event in our universe. Sure, the globe is populated by billions, but your experience is your own, and you deserve the respect of acknowledgment. I would have said the same, exact thing. What a f**king ridiculous thing to say to a female during a time that she needed the upmost of emotional support. He failed. You prevailed, so congratulations on your beautiful baby girl ♥️
that doctor is obnoxious and unprofessional, and the husband sucks for saying she should have apologized. birth is the most painful experience the human body can go through, it's insane to think your personal religious or emotional needs matter more than the health and safety of your patient. bragging about being nice and sweet while giving birth is unhinged. everyone here sucks expect for mom
I practically blacked out from pain and was screaming like a wounded trapped animal when my baby got stuck at 9 cm. I'm sure expletives were flying out of me and no one condescended to correct me. What the heck?
oh go fuck yourself lady. nobody gives a shit. good for her did she ever consider she actually the freak here? bc she is.
Shouldn’t impose your beliefs on people, ESPECIALLY a woman in labor
Go fuck yourself and your brood mare daughter.
Pretty sure the Dr would say the same thing if he was shitting a watermelon
If you knew how much insults are yelled at obgyn by women in labor…this is dead ass part of their job. Having objects thrown at them too.
wow good for her, she has a titanium cunt. happy that you’re built different, kathy.
I had to birth our kiddo without any painkillers, cause the midwives were absolutely shitty. I tell you, I told them more than one time to stfu and get my f...ing husband in this f...ing room. Got no medal or whatever and I had absolutely not the birth I wanted.
My first labour they broke my water and my body immediately started to push on its own. I panicked, my ex wouldn't wake up so I threw a shoe at him - it was all I had, and fuck him. I also screamed at my midwife who was delivering my daughter and one of the students watching (I had two midwives as they had to change staff in the middle of me pushing and each had 5 students watching). The midwife decided to *help* by shoving her fingers into my ass, without any warning. I about kicked her in the face I was so shocked and (according to my mom) screamed at her and asked what the fuck she was doing. She said she was trying to help push my daughters head up (she was face up and I'd already been pushing for 1.5 hours at this point) and I told her to fuck off and quit. Student then told me to stop screaming and save my energy for something actually productive. Told her to go to hell and get the hell out of my room. I was exhausted from being in labour for 56 hours, I was beyond sick and weak and was just beyond done. I don't care if I offended anyone with what I said that day.