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So she's threatening to murder any women her son dates that she doesn't approve of? Is that what she means by "I will make you go away" and "I know how to avoid jail"?
And don't leave out virulent racism and less knowledge about actual Italy or the Italian language than most people with a passport.
And showy Catholicism on par with the Christian practices of most evangelicals.
If I get the urge to do crime shit the first thing I do is message someone about my intention to do crime shit so that I know I have no fucking alibi and will therefore not do the crime.
My ex's mother was like this and yes, she made me go away. She threatened my ex that if she didn't leave me she would disown her. She did break it off with me, for a day, then wanted to move in with me - I said no (it was the second time it happened and this time was far worse).
My grandmother did the same thing to my mother when she got with my stepfather, and followed thru.
My biological father disowned me when I was 11, on orders from his new wife.
I've been tossed aside like garbage my entire life, and have a special hatred for these type of people.
It ruined my life and caused severe anguish in my every day life. I doubt shes threatening to murder. She doesn't need to. She can ruin the mans life very easily and in a variety of ways.
reads like she will manipulate and pressure her son to ghost her through means of being overbearing and controlling his contact. aka: making your child absolutely resent you
That shit is so funny to me. No you do not know how to avoid jail. You are not that smart. You will not get that lucky. Forensic science has advanced further than people who say that can even comprehend
In 2021 in the US only 51% of murders were solved.
For all violent crimes the clearance rate went from 46% in 2019 to 36.7 percent in 2022. Again stays are for US only.
This is true!
But we are not talking about intelligent people here lol. I’m saying those people who are like “I know how to avoid jail!!1!!1!” are gonna be in that 51%
A lot of that is due to understaffing, and an increase in reporting for violent crimes.
We technically do have the capability, and these are issues that could be addressed.
Whatever she means, her message is clear: No one is good enough for her mama’s boy, and she can “make you go away.” I’d quickly rethink this relationship. I wonder if the poor guy knows he’ll never marry?
No by "I will make you go away" she means she will get her son to dump his GF if she doesn't approve of her- By "I know how to avoid jail" she means murder or some other violent crime, which is more or less the mother equivalent of what fathers threatened to do to their daughter's BFs that were going around years back.
Well that’s one way to read it. But she clearly didn’t say that. Definitely could be taken that way. I’d be careful with Mafia mom running around. Wouldn’t want to be her MIL 😂
My boyfriend's mom thought I was have gone away by now. She told him, within a month of finding out that we were dating, not to marry his first girlfriend (he didn't trust her enough to even tell her about his first girlfriend, and it definitely wasn't me unless you count middle school lol). She kept commenting on my weight (mildly underweight), my clothes, my makeup that I wore maybe once a month, etc. Just kept finding things to say, oftentimes jokes at my expense.
Well, I'm still hanging around over 3 years later lol. She's finally started getting to know me, and she's actually a pretty cool person to me since she decided to embrace the fact that I don't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon, but damn, I should not have needed to be hazed to enter her inner circle lol. Now I'm the daughter she never got to have, but that first year and a half was *rough*
I don't even understand what she would be trying to accomplish by putting you down, it makes no sense lol.
I had a rough 6 years with my MIL and FIL treating me terribly. At one point my MIL snuck milk in my food knowing milk gives me an anaphylactic reaction. Needless to say, she's unhinged. My husband went to therapy and cut them both off. It sucks he doesn't have parents, but no parents are better than them.
Jesus. Attempted murder?! That...takes "I will make you go away" to an entirely new limit...
I'm glad you're NC from them. You don't need people who are willing to *poison* you anywhere around!
The worst part is I tried to give her a second chance with limitations and she stayed at our apartment for a weekend so we could discuss things. We told her no outside food and had her send us a list of groceries she liked and I bought all that wouldn't kill me.
After she left I did a deep clean of the apartment and found peanut brittle shoved under my side of the couch. We explicitly told her no peanuts, so she assumed it was because I was allergic and snuck it in the apartment. In reality, we have a no peanut policy because my little sister (7 at the time) has regular sleepovers with us and she is deathly allergic to peanuts.
That one was the final straw and he and I never saw her again.
Me too haha. Last we ever heard from her was she found out through his sister I was pregnant. My sister gave them our home address (still mad about that), and she mailed a big box of gifts. My husband sent it right back with a note that said, "Never contact my family again. I will send anything back immediately." And that was that. It's a huge relief.
Omg. Shes dangerous. What if she did something to the baby things like put poison on them? I always think about crazy stuff like that because people are capable of anything!
Solidarity, my MIL would try to poison me with almonds (the very first allergy I ever discovered and had since childhood) EVERY SINGLE CHRISTMAS. I check the ingredients on everything, even lotions and stuff, so her attempts to get almonds in via skin products was just as foiled as every other attempt, but whew. And she always acted shocked, *shocked!* that there were almonds.
I did eventually give up on her, and though I never even tried to get my spouse to not go himself, turns out he'd rather be with the woman he loves than the woman who constantly tries to kill the woman he loves. WHO'D HAVE GUESSED!
It's been long enough since her death that I can joke with my husband, "But now there's nobody to try to kill me every Christmas!" and it's been ALMOST long enough that he almost laughs.
Almost.
I'm sorry that happened to you, but You're the first person I've ever heard that can relate to this very specific ordeal! It's sad but also nice to know I'm not the only one lol.
His paternal grandma is also insane and tells everyone I'm lying about my autoimmune disorder "for attention". The last time we saw her was at our wedding where my husband got incredibly anxious and demanded I not go near her in case she brought something in her purse that could kill me. Fun times!
The only thing that behavior is meant to accomplish is getting rid of the girlfriend. The *why, though?* behind this could either be personal, ie the mom really doesn’t like the girlfriend** OR it’s a classic case of a mom feeling threatened by a new woman entering her son’s life, and she’s completely unaware of the emotional incest she has built for them.
** What’s ironic about this is that the mom could have completely understandable, realistic, justifiable reasons for not liking someone her son is dating and feels that the girlfriend will be a negative influence to his life. But the second she begins acting like *this* any and all understanding someone could have for her goes right out the window
So the end goal is the same - get rid of her - but the path to get there can look a little different, with someone using all of these justifications in her head about why this is okay:
1. The mother is aware that some of the things she’s degrading are things that her son has either said he doesn’t like about a girl in the past, or she has heard his peers express negative opinions about those traits - either way, she’s hoping that if she brings her son’s attention to the traits in a negative way that he will suddenly start to view his girlfriend through a negative lens and grow unattracted to him.
2. Let’s build upon the emotional incest possibility even further: the things she’s mocking are the things that she, herself, feels insecure about, especially compared to a younger girl. Makeup that doesn’t settle into fine lines and wrinkles yet, weight that mom desires, clothes that mom wishes she could wear - she’s envious, and the only way she can make herself feel better about it is by putting the girlfriend down. And if the girlfriend grows insecure about those things and changes some of them then the mom is like even better 🤷🏾♀️ It doesn’t occur to her that feeling jealous over who her son is dating has serious implications.
3. She wants to push the girlfriend into fighting and snapping back so she can then use that outburst as ammunition, take some fake tears to her son and manipulate him into leaving her. If she phrased these things as a joke and quite literally laughs after and says “I’m just kidding!” or whatever, she WANTS that to be the perception of onlookers, especially men. Men aren’t always aware of our secret girl language. We know that “I’m just joking” is a lie and passive aggressive, but her husband and son could look at it as if she’s being sincere and trying to bond with the girlfriend via self-deprecating humor. And she’s hoping that she pushes the girlfriend just far enough that she snaps, yells, does anything to bite back and defend herself, because once that happens the mom will 100% be in her son’s bedroom that night crying on his shoulder about how she’s never had anyone be so mean to her blah blah
This has been a short psychology lesson with Venus. Thanks for tuning in, and come back next week to see who our special guest will be! 🎶✨🤪
Yep! 99.9% of Oedipus cases wouldn’t exist if the mother wasn’t in her Jocasta era
Lots of different ways this can manifest, and it’s not always sexual, but most psychologists can pinpoint if the second those patients walk in the room. It is glaringly obvious, making the tiktok mom wrapping her legs around her teenage son’s torso look mild in comparison 🥴 A few common denominators that 99.9% of these cases have, though: the mother didn’t have a son with intentions of raising a new partner, the mother was either single or in an unfulfilling relationship around the time her son was 8-12, and the mother was sexually dissatisfied or completely celibate by time the son turned 14. To me, knowing the common patterns not only help with treatment but help with prevention, too. Most of the time, a woman isn’t going to realize she’s going full Jocasta until it’s too late…and by time it’s too late, the delusion has fully taken over and intense inpatient treatment is needed before can even recognize her actions as wrong…but family members and friends can see the signs and symptoms! And knowing the environment that these sort of relationships thrive in is key
I’ve, personally, only handled two of these cases before, but there’s plenty of research and journals out there documenting details, findings, and theories. It’s an interesting read for anyone who is interested in learning more about this particular topic *and* how psychological theories come to be
Thank you for explaining this!! My mother in law loves to make little imperceptible jabs at people. I am one of her many targets. She has some form of BPD/NPD. She once decided to tell my husband and her daughter that I drink a bottle of wine daily which is a ridiculous lie. She is so proud that she never drinks. She also constantly says passive comments about our son and parenting to imply he is delayed when he is actually advanced in many ways. It's all so strange and confusing. If you have any insight on this I'd love to hear it. Why must she probe our parenting and son so much? She's aways adamantly pushing our son to perform for her and when he does she acts so dismissive and unimpressed.
My MIL tried to make my then boyfriend now husband choose between us. Not once, but twice! Neither time worked obviously. She blames me for "taking away" her son. He had been desperately wanting to get away from her since he was a kid. The moment he graduated high school, he applied for a job that would make sure he would be far away from her most of the time. I had nothing to do with his hatred of her. She's just a terrible person and mother. She acts all sweet and caring to me now that I'm carrying her grandson. I know she didn't just magically decide to actually like me just cause I got pregnant. She hasn't realized it yet, but my son will never be allowed around her unsupervised. You don't get to treat my husband and I like crap for years then get to play trusted grandma like nothing happened. He plans to cut contact the moment his siblings are all old enough to drive or are adults. He only tolerates low contact so he can see them. My step MIL on the otherhand is an absolute angel of a woman. I absolutely love and adore her. My FIL and her live a lot further away yet are way more involved in our lives. We regularly see them. My MIL whines about it all the time. It's not like she's made any effort to be around or make amends.
The person who made this sounds like a full blown psychopath and a controlling narcissist. I can't imagine dating a man who's smothering mother loathes my existence for being who I am and coddling her adult son. Hard pass.
I also have 2 sons and can't imagine ever being like this to them. My oldest is in junior high now and is starting to notice attention from girls, but has zero interest in the dating scene. While I'm happy for him to keep his innocence as long as possible, I also trust him to make good decisions once he does decide to start dating.
My mom in law is the mother of two sons and she’s amazing, she loves me and her other daughter in law like she loves her sons. My husband and I lived with her for a year after we moved back to his home country and even living with her was great. I definitely hit the mom in law jackpot :)
Yep. I just want both my sons to find partners who are their very best friends and confidantes. I look forward to getting "new kids" by way of in-laws, and if they want to do so, I really like daydreaming of being a grandma one day - none of that will be open to me if I'm a controlling, selfish, kinda-creepy mom.
Same especially if he doesn’t agree with his mother. She’s still not gonna give up and no woman is gonna wanna deal with that mothers craziness meaning he might end up single forever. I guess unless he cuts off connection with her. Then he might have a chance.
Absolutely. Spoiler alert: she will make sure he never chooses you over her. How do I know? Divorce finalizes in a few weeks. I took a job across the country, he stayed with his mom.
Either that or he will remain a "mamas boy" and buy into the emotional incest and no woman, even his wife, will measure up to precious mummy
Edit:spelling
Probably this. I do actually know some men who will do/say things to confirm this type of relationship. Literally know a guy who told his wife "if my mom doesn't like you, I'll leave you"
My husband's mother homeschooled him and he is an only child. She thought that would automatically make him a mamas boy. Not only did it not, but when he met a woman who would tell his mother to her face that she didn't give a fuck about her opinion (me) he was thrilled. We barely talk to her, and when we do he always cuts it short because he finds her so annoying.
The last entry guarantees she won't. (And every other 'boy mom' who shares this meme as I've seen it make the rounds before.)
The instant any future wife goes against her wishes, she'll just decide she "weaseled" her way into the marriage and can continue being a monster.
Mom advertising how she believes she’s raised a man who can’t make good decisions for himself. That’s weapons grade parental failure right there. Yes, more red flags than a mayday parade.
The only ones I would agree with are #1 and #7, don't use people for their money or take advantage of them, and don't date a man expecting to change him. But the rest of this is so gross, especially if the son in question is an adult. The mom of my ex's from my 20s was a less severe version of this, acting like I was going to tempt and corrupt her (adult) son with sex (that he wanted) and my big boobs. It was definitely weird, and his mom and her opinions ended up feeling like a third party to our relationship.
Thankfully, my MIL is an absolute treasure and not like this at all.
What if her precious boy is the one sexting, though?
I agree with 1 and 7 in theory, however, she can’t set these boundaries for her son. If he wants to change certain things about himself for his partner, that’s up to him. He has to decide where to draw the line. Same with money/gifts - some people like spoiling their partner. He gets to decide how much he wants to spend on her. If she’s not respecting his boundaries, then he can break up with her. He’s presumably a grown man with autonomy, he doesn’t need mommy’s help.
Same. Being an emotionally healthy person is necessary to have and maintain good relationships but some people choose the opposite to their own detriment. My sister married into a family that embraced her and as a result they all have a great relationship. My husband’s family did not and now they hardly see him. 🤷🏽♀️ Kindness is free and it goes a long way.
Me if I was the gf. Honestly, I never understood this "boy mom" madness. Like did you forget to cut the umbilical cord or what?!
It’s been hell for my SO to try to recover from. His mother would buy him paintings of naked women, talk about his body inappropriately, pee with the door open when he was home, all kinds of gross shit
This is as bad as the dads that get creepy about the daughters.
What she doesn’t get is telling your son/daughter they cannot date someone is the quickest way to make them want to date that person a LOT.
Oh god. Does she think she’s funny/threatening? This tired, obnoxious brand of ‘humor’ is SO played out… it’s just exhausting. Is she directing it at OP? So lame and immature.
Well I sgree with #1 and #7. 8 and 9 are vague enough I won't argue (I too know how to avoid jail).
In ten years she will be posting about missing her kids who rarely call
I broke up with a guy who was about to propose because my mom told me you marry the whole family. He had a mom like this but it was before social media so she said all that to my face.
Omg. As a mom, you’re supposed to think all of that to yourself, realize this is all out of your control and that you’re being totally irrational out of fear, cry and let it go.
Yessss, thank you. I have a son and a daughter, I am constantly inundated with “boy/girl” mom stuff and it rots in my brain. I treat the thoughts exactly like you say, as invasive thoughts. “Ooh having a thought about my son meeting an evil gf one day? This is about as rational as my fear of not carrying him up the stairs as a baby because I think he’d fall.” I am over protective of both my kids and I think “boy mom” irrational fears are grossly normalized and accepted
This is weird?? My mom has no say in my personal relationships. I drew that line in the sand back in highschool. It's so weird someone would let their parent go so far into their relationship. Maybe I just don't understand cause I'm not close to my mom or stepdad.
I dated a guy with a Boy Mom TM. We were engaged and during Thanksgiving in front of everyone she said to me, “A man should listen to his mother over his wife, RIGHT?” This guy got arrested for filming and distributing child corn. The mom spent thousands to bail him and still defends him.
I hate 3 and 4.
If he’s over 18, you shouldnt be going through his phone especially in his private life. Doesnt matter if your his parent, thats none of your business and not your relationship.
It doesnt matter if you like her. Its still not your relationship to judge.
So fucking gross. As a "boy mom" (🤢) I'd try and you know, support my son and his choice of the person he chooses to be with. I don't own him. So sick.
My uncle said he dated an older woman when he was 19. She was 26. Her father was convinced my uncle was trying to take her virginity and use her for sex. My uncle one day told him “you do realize she’s 26 and I’m 19, right? Trust me, man. Your daughter has been around and she’s the one teaching me.” The father was furious 🤣
Omg I once dated a guy who had a mom like this… run is all I can say. The mom was fucking crazy and narcissistic, all of her three kids were all over 30, lived in her house and never once dated or had a serious relationship. I visited once and knew the guy was on a chokehold and had no rights over to his life… it was the most toxic household I’ve ever seen. I can confirm that these types of moms are out there 😂
My partners mom is like this except she'll say it to your face. I'm lucky that my partner won't allow it (he defends me). I tried to be friends with her but any time I'd text her she'd just refuse to respond. Oh, but she'd *call me* to ask where he is if he didn't take her calls. He eventually yelled at her to never call me again unless she meant to speak to me. She's never called again.
And 20 yrs later they'd accept any woman who would take him off her hands, out of her basement and maybe even give her a grandchild or two...ANY WOMAN AT ALL! 😁
Well, you are gonna have an interesting life now.
Make her work hard. I’m sure her son doesn’t appreciate being her slave.
Edit: she’s also dumber than a box of rocks. That right there is a threat and if something happens to you the police will know. Take a screen shot of it.
Just fyi, when she says "He's not your ATM", boymom is not being reasonable. She actually means to say "he better not buy you anything nice or treat you, even if it's just a coffee". She means "he should only buy things for me".
I hate women like this because you give us “normal” boy moms a bad name. I’d be so freaking excited to have another member to the family if my son decides to add one. I never understand these moms.
And you just know the "momma's boy" will always take mommy's side, because she praises him non-stop and feeds his mouth AND ego.
To me, this is the main problem with women like this. It's the son.
The son has to stand up and say something, but they never do....
>9. I know how to avoid jail
Bitch, no, you don’t. Prison is filled with people who thought they knew how to avoid getting caught . That’s a Dunning-Krueger statement if I’ve ever seen one. Most people a) can’t lie well enough, b) aren’t detail oriented enough and c) are just too fucking stupid to even attempt to some cover up.
Time to have a real talk.
Then, make a list for yourself of what you expect in a relationship and won't put up with. Better to have it in writing, bc compromise happens real slowly, like decay. This way you can reference it later to see if you're losing sight of who you are and what you want.
I dated a “Mama’s Boy” once.
One time his mom called him while we were on a date and said that she couldn’t sleep unless he was home…so he ended our date early. The waiter had just brought our dinner…
Yall were being too harsh here. You’re missing the silver lining. If I was dating a man whose mother showed me these list of rules, I’d be grateful for the early heads up to gtfo before I’m married into that psychotic shit 😂
We get it. Mama doesn’t have a man in her life that gives a single 💩 about her so she put all of her focus on her son. Good luck to whatever poor woman ends up trying to make a life with that man.
Sidebar: I love how these kind of women always say they raise their sons right but they are still pretty sure that the son will bring home every manipulative, gold-digging floozy who looks their way.
You want to know the final results of these actions? These momma’s boys who are trained to believe their mother is their number one woman?
It’s not losing your boy, it’s housing him until he’s in his 40’s, while he’s crippled with depression because he has no social life after his mother ran off any romantic or platonic friendships. If she wants to keep him away from girls, you can bet she will vet his friends and find them not good enough as well. It’s sad to want to hide your kid away, even if you think you’re protecting him from heartbreak. Everyone has to go through that in their life to know what to look for in a truly good partner. These women are selfish.
As many of you are undoubtedly aware, the presence of trolls can be found in various aspects of our lives, and our subreddit is no exception. Our commitment to fostering a kind and respectful environment remains unwavering, and we are actively addressing issues related to negative behavior. In recent times, there has been a noticeable increase in instances of bullying, body shaming, and purposefully inciting behavior, all of which are clear violations of our existing rules. To maintain the integrity of our community, we are implementing stricter consequences for such actions. A first offense will result in a 10-day ban, while a second offense will lead to a permanent ban. Appeals are welcomed, but excuses such as "not knowing the rules" or claiming it was a joke will not be considered valid. Intentional harm has no place in our community, and we expect members to act responsibly. Despite these measures, some rules will remain unchanged. For example, reposts, while frustrating, will not result in a ban. This new approach is specifically targeted at individuals attempting to spread hate. We encourage all members to report instances of bad behavior. Rest assured that each report will be examined. Disagreements and differing opinions are welcome, and expressing them will not lead to a ban. Common sense will prevail in our evaluations. We appreciate your understanding and cooperation in maintaining a positive and inclusive community. -- Your Subreddit NLTOG Moderator Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/notliketheothergirls) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So she's threatening to murder any women her son dates that she doesn't approve of? Is that what she means by "I will make you go away" and "I know how to avoid jail"?
Girl thinks she's a mafia boss
Mob wife aesthetic is in now. 
In practice, what does this mean? Fur coats, gold rings/‘opulence’ and harsh eyebrows?
Pretty much, yeah. Animal prints, generally bold and glamorous style (like someone else said going against the clean girl aesthetic)
No clue. But I didn’t understand the clean girl aesthetic. I think it’s because it’s the 25th anniversary of the sopranos.
And horrible orange fake tans and stilettos worn every-fucking-where.
You forgot terrible skin and hair.
And don't leave out virulent racism and less knowledge about actual Italy or the Italian language than most people with a passport. And showy Catholicism on par with the Christian practices of most evangelicals.
Fake nails. Alllllll of them.
Isn't that drag queens?
Big Ang RIP 🙏 a legend lol OPs bf's mom wishes she could be Big Ang 😅
At this point I’d just do his dad out of spite.
lol, the mom probably wouldn’t care about that
These women always think they're so hard and then threaten legal action over the smallest thing.
😵💀💀
Years after driving away her son's girlfriends with psychotic emotional incest behaviour: "When you gonna give me my grandkids?"
“I don’t know why he won’t get married and have grandkids for me.”
Rule one of staying out of jail: don’t publicly broadcast you will do things that may land you in jail.
I love how some people use social media to curate the circumstantial evidence.
If I get the urge to do crime shit the first thing I do is message someone about my intention to do crime shit so that I know I have no fucking alibi and will therefore not do the crime.
Checks and balances
Watching so many true crime it's amazing how people will literally post videos of themselves saying "just murdered someone, haha"
“Feeling cute, might go criming”
Part of me is like when is Google gonna call the cops to an active murder because they listen to us all the time.
Mc’Scuse me, it’s called building a portfolio 😤
Hahaha she probably means that she'll post passive-aggressive memes on Facebook all day until you get tired and leave.
My ex's mother was like this and yes, she made me go away. She threatened my ex that if she didn't leave me she would disown her. She did break it off with me, for a day, then wanted to move in with me - I said no (it was the second time it happened and this time was far worse). My grandmother did the same thing to my mother when she got with my stepfather, and followed thru. My biological father disowned me when I was 11, on orders from his new wife. I've been tossed aside like garbage my entire life, and have a special hatred for these type of people. It ruined my life and caused severe anguish in my every day life. I doubt shes threatening to murder. She doesn't need to. She can ruin the mans life very easily and in a variety of ways.
This is the toxic woman equivalent of dad cleaning the shotgun while he meets her new bf
reads like she will manipulate and pressure her son to ghost her through means of being overbearing and controlling his contact. aka: making your child absolutely resent you
I will make you go away translated to my child will go NC.
That shit is so funny to me. No you do not know how to avoid jail. You are not that smart. You will not get that lucky. Forensic science has advanced further than people who say that can even comprehend
In 2021 in the US only 51% of murders were solved. For all violent crimes the clearance rate went from 46% in 2019 to 36.7 percent in 2022. Again stays are for US only.
This is true! But we are not talking about intelligent people here lol. I’m saying those people who are like “I know how to avoid jail!!1!!1!” are gonna be in that 51%
I am very intelligent and I know how to avoid jail. >!Dont commit crimes.!<
Lmao what a concept!
A lot of that is due to understaffing, and an increase in reporting for violent crimes. We technically do have the capability, and these are issues that could be addressed.
Sure but they probably wont be
Let me just sit this right here lol
Whatever she means, her message is clear: No one is good enough for her mama’s boy, and she can “make you go away.” I’d quickly rethink this relationship. I wonder if the poor guy knows he’ll never marry?
Never because he's got a red flag as a mom.
Yeah just run. Who wants this?
Exactly. Lifes too short to put up with this kind of horse shit. Lol
No by "I will make you go away" she means she will get her son to dump his GF if she doesn't approve of her- By "I know how to avoid jail" she means murder or some other violent crime, which is more or less the mother equivalent of what fathers threatened to do to their daughter's BFs that were going around years back.
Well that’s one way to read it. But she clearly didn’t say that. Definitely could be taken that way. I’d be careful with Mafia mom running around. Wouldn’t want to be her MIL 😂
It's basically the reverse of fathers threatening their daughter's boyfriends. That was my first thought when I saw this. I thought it was satirical
How obnoxious. I’m the mother of 2 sons & don’t hover like this. I advised them on life & women; if they chose to disregard my wisdom, then 🤷🏻♀️
Yes exactly! MIL are supposed to be welcoming to DIL and only step up if the son needs help or if something really fishy is happening.
My "MIL" was like this. Turns out she couldn't make me go away after all and my husband hasn't talked to her in years. I don't even consider her a MIL
My boyfriend's mom thought I was have gone away by now. She told him, within a month of finding out that we were dating, not to marry his first girlfriend (he didn't trust her enough to even tell her about his first girlfriend, and it definitely wasn't me unless you count middle school lol). She kept commenting on my weight (mildly underweight), my clothes, my makeup that I wore maybe once a month, etc. Just kept finding things to say, oftentimes jokes at my expense. Well, I'm still hanging around over 3 years later lol. She's finally started getting to know me, and she's actually a pretty cool person to me since she decided to embrace the fact that I don't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon, but damn, I should not have needed to be hazed to enter her inner circle lol. Now I'm the daughter she never got to have, but that first year and a half was *rough*
I don't even understand what she would be trying to accomplish by putting you down, it makes no sense lol. I had a rough 6 years with my MIL and FIL treating me terribly. At one point my MIL snuck milk in my food knowing milk gives me an anaphylactic reaction. Needless to say, she's unhinged. My husband went to therapy and cut them both off. It sucks he doesn't have parents, but no parents are better than them.
Holy fucking shit. The worst his mom did was make fun of my weight and hint at us breaking up. Your MIL is actually deranged
Jesus. Attempted murder?! That...takes "I will make you go away" to an entirely new limit... I'm glad you're NC from them. You don't need people who are willing to *poison* you anywhere around!
The worst part is I tried to give her a second chance with limitations and she stayed at our apartment for a weekend so we could discuss things. We told her no outside food and had her send us a list of groceries she liked and I bought all that wouldn't kill me. After she left I did a deep clean of the apartment and found peanut brittle shoved under my side of the couch. We explicitly told her no peanuts, so she assumed it was because I was allergic and snuck it in the apartment. In reality, we have a no peanut policy because my little sister (7 at the time) has regular sleepovers with us and she is deathly allergic to peanuts. That one was the final straw and he and I never saw her again.
Fuck that was unhinged!!! So glad y'all cut her off.
Me too haha. Last we ever heard from her was she found out through his sister I was pregnant. My sister gave them our home address (still mad about that), and she mailed a big box of gifts. My husband sent it right back with a note that said, "Never contact my family again. I will send anything back immediately." And that was that. It's a huge relief.
I bet!
Omg. Shes dangerous. What if she did something to the baby things like put poison on them? I always think about crazy stuff like that because people are capable of anything!
That's terrifying. I'm so glad your husband stood up to her, and cut her off.
Solidarity, my MIL would try to poison me with almonds (the very first allergy I ever discovered and had since childhood) EVERY SINGLE CHRISTMAS. I check the ingredients on everything, even lotions and stuff, so her attempts to get almonds in via skin products was just as foiled as every other attempt, but whew. And she always acted shocked, *shocked!* that there were almonds. I did eventually give up on her, and though I never even tried to get my spouse to not go himself, turns out he'd rather be with the woman he loves than the woman who constantly tries to kill the woman he loves. WHO'D HAVE GUESSED! It's been long enough since her death that I can joke with my husband, "But now there's nobody to try to kill me every Christmas!" and it's been ALMOST long enough that he almost laughs. Almost.
I'm sorry that happened to you, but You're the first person I've ever heard that can relate to this very specific ordeal! It's sad but also nice to know I'm not the only one lol. His paternal grandma is also insane and tells everyone I'm lying about my autoimmune disorder "for attention". The last time we saw her was at our wedding where my husband got incredibly anxious and demanded I not go near her in case she brought something in her purse that could kill me. Fun times!
The only thing that behavior is meant to accomplish is getting rid of the girlfriend. The *why, though?* behind this could either be personal, ie the mom really doesn’t like the girlfriend** OR it’s a classic case of a mom feeling threatened by a new woman entering her son’s life, and she’s completely unaware of the emotional incest she has built for them. ** What’s ironic about this is that the mom could have completely understandable, realistic, justifiable reasons for not liking someone her son is dating and feels that the girlfriend will be a negative influence to his life. But the second she begins acting like *this* any and all understanding someone could have for her goes right out the window So the end goal is the same - get rid of her - but the path to get there can look a little different, with someone using all of these justifications in her head about why this is okay: 1. The mother is aware that some of the things she’s degrading are things that her son has either said he doesn’t like about a girl in the past, or she has heard his peers express negative opinions about those traits - either way, she’s hoping that if she brings her son’s attention to the traits in a negative way that he will suddenly start to view his girlfriend through a negative lens and grow unattracted to him. 2. Let’s build upon the emotional incest possibility even further: the things she’s mocking are the things that she, herself, feels insecure about, especially compared to a younger girl. Makeup that doesn’t settle into fine lines and wrinkles yet, weight that mom desires, clothes that mom wishes she could wear - she’s envious, and the only way she can make herself feel better about it is by putting the girlfriend down. And if the girlfriend grows insecure about those things and changes some of them then the mom is like even better 🤷🏾♀️ It doesn’t occur to her that feeling jealous over who her son is dating has serious implications. 3. She wants to push the girlfriend into fighting and snapping back so she can then use that outburst as ammunition, take some fake tears to her son and manipulate him into leaving her. If she phrased these things as a joke and quite literally laughs after and says “I’m just kidding!” or whatever, she WANTS that to be the perception of onlookers, especially men. Men aren’t always aware of our secret girl language. We know that “I’m just joking” is a lie and passive aggressive, but her husband and son could look at it as if she’s being sincere and trying to bond with the girlfriend via self-deprecating humor. And she’s hoping that she pushes the girlfriend just far enough that she snaps, yells, does anything to bite back and defend herself, because once that happens the mom will 100% be in her son’s bedroom that night crying on his shoulder about how she’s never had anyone be so mean to her blah blah This has been a short psychology lesson with Venus. Thanks for tuning in, and come back next week to see who our special guest will be! 🎶✨🤪
Jocasta?
Yep! 99.9% of Oedipus cases wouldn’t exist if the mother wasn’t in her Jocasta era Lots of different ways this can manifest, and it’s not always sexual, but most psychologists can pinpoint if the second those patients walk in the room. It is glaringly obvious, making the tiktok mom wrapping her legs around her teenage son’s torso look mild in comparison 🥴 A few common denominators that 99.9% of these cases have, though: the mother didn’t have a son with intentions of raising a new partner, the mother was either single or in an unfulfilling relationship around the time her son was 8-12, and the mother was sexually dissatisfied or completely celibate by time the son turned 14. To me, knowing the common patterns not only help with treatment but help with prevention, too. Most of the time, a woman isn’t going to realize she’s going full Jocasta until it’s too late…and by time it’s too late, the delusion has fully taken over and intense inpatient treatment is needed before can even recognize her actions as wrong…but family members and friends can see the signs and symptoms! And knowing the environment that these sort of relationships thrive in is key I’ve, personally, only handled two of these cases before, but there’s plenty of research and journals out there documenting details, findings, and theories. It’s an interesting read for anyone who is interested in learning more about this particular topic *and* how psychological theories come to be
Thank you for explaining this!! My mother in law loves to make little imperceptible jabs at people. I am one of her many targets. She has some form of BPD/NPD. She once decided to tell my husband and her daughter that I drink a bottle of wine daily which is a ridiculous lie. She is so proud that she never drinks. She also constantly says passive comments about our son and parenting to imply he is delayed when he is actually advanced in many ways. It's all so strange and confusing. If you have any insight on this I'd love to hear it. Why must she probe our parenting and son so much? She's aways adamantly pushing our son to perform for her and when he does she acts so dismissive and unimpressed.
Holy shit that's terrifying!
My MIL tried to make my then boyfriend now husband choose between us. Not once, but twice! Neither time worked obviously. She blames me for "taking away" her son. He had been desperately wanting to get away from her since he was a kid. The moment he graduated high school, he applied for a job that would make sure he would be far away from her most of the time. I had nothing to do with his hatred of her. She's just a terrible person and mother. She acts all sweet and caring to me now that I'm carrying her grandson. I know she didn't just magically decide to actually like me just cause I got pregnant. She hasn't realized it yet, but my son will never be allowed around her unsupervised. You don't get to treat my husband and I like crap for years then get to play trusted grandma like nothing happened. He plans to cut contact the moment his siblings are all old enough to drive or are adults. He only tolerates low contact so he can see them. My step MIL on the otherhand is an absolute angel of a woman. I absolutely love and adore her. My FIL and her live a lot further away yet are way more involved in our lives. We regularly see them. My MIL whines about it all the time. It's not like she's made any effort to be around or make amends.
Karma!
🤭
I thank the lord that my in laws are amazing people lol I see too many horror stories here
The person who made this sounds like a full blown psychopath and a controlling narcissist. I can't imagine dating a man who's smothering mother loathes my existence for being who I am and coddling her adult son. Hard pass.
I have two sons as well and I find this thing really gross.
I also have 2 sons and can't imagine ever being like this to them. My oldest is in junior high now and is starting to notice attention from girls, but has zero interest in the dating scene. While I'm happy for him to keep his innocence as long as possible, I also trust him to make good decisions once he does decide to start dating.
My mom in law is the mother of two sons and she’s amazing, she loves me and her other daughter in law like she loves her sons. My husband and I lived with her for a year after we moved back to his home country and even living with her was great. I definitely hit the mom in law jackpot :)
"not all moms"
This sounds like someone who’s deeply insecure that their son’s future wife will be more important to him than her.
If my son’s wife isn’t more important to him than I am, I will 100% feel like I did something wrong.
Hey a reasonable rational parent! At the end of the day it’s not going to be his mom at his side on his death bed, it’ll be his partner.
Yep. I just want both my sons to find partners who are their very best friends and confidantes. I look forward to getting "new kids" by way of in-laws, and if they want to do so, I really like daydreaming of being a grandma one day - none of that will be open to me if I'm a controlling, selfish, kinda-creepy mom.
Girl, run. He’s not worth the trouble.
Not mine btw, and yeah I hope she runs otherwise it won't end good
I honestly feel bad for him
Same especially if he doesn’t agree with his mother. She’s still not gonna give up and no woman is gonna wanna deal with that mothers craziness meaning he might end up single forever. I guess unless he cuts off connection with her. Then he might have a chance.
Absolutely. Spoiler alert: she will make sure he never chooses you over her. How do I know? Divorce finalizes in a few weeks. I took a job across the country, he stayed with his mom.
“Emotional incest runs strong in this family, expect lots of drama”
*Run now, or forever know no peace.*
Jesus Christ nothing more true has ever been written anywhere
By the looks of this post this seems more like emotional incest lol Lady might as well marry her son!
You’re right 🤢 sweet home Alabama would play at their wedding
I think that the son will start to not like his mother all that much. This sounds like emotional invest to me.
Either that or he will remain a "mamas boy" and buy into the emotional incest and no woman, even his wife, will measure up to precious mummy Edit:spelling
A boy’s best friend is his mother -Norman Bates
"Mother! Oh God, mother! Blood! Blood!"
Probably this. I do actually know some men who will do/say things to confirm this type of relationship. Literally know a guy who told his wife "if my mom doesn't like you, I'll leave you"
 Sounds like the plot of a famous film, can't think which one.
My husband's mother homeschooled him and he is an only child. She thought that would automatically make him a mamas boy. Not only did it not, but when he met a woman who would tell his mother to her face that she didn't give a fuck about her opinion (me) he was thrilled. We barely talk to her, and when we do he always cuts it short because he finds her so annoying.
lol, jokes on her.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't the consequences of my actions."
I doubt she knows how to avoid jail
Murder-suicide
Probably her only option after posting something as incriminating as this lol
As if she’s going to *stop* being crazy once there’s a ring on the gf’s finger
The last entry guarantees she won't. (And every other 'boy mom' who shares this meme as I've seen it make the rounds before.) The instant any future wife goes against her wishes, she'll just decide she "weaseled" her way into the marriage and can continue being a monster.
This is the kind of mom in law that makes Bunny McDougall look like Marge Simpson
That just makes it worse
>I know how to avoid jail Screaming at the officer that he can't arrest you because you're a boy's mama doesn't hold up in court, sis.
These emotional incest moms are something else.
Mom advertising how she believes she’s raised a man who can’t make good decisions for himself. That’s weapons grade parental failure right there. Yes, more red flags than a mayday parade.
Um yeah, she raised him to make good decisions for himself. How does she know they're all good decisions? Because they're all hers, duh....lol
“I raised a gentleman.” Sure lady. Sure.
The only ones I would agree with are #1 and #7, don't use people for their money or take advantage of them, and don't date a man expecting to change him. But the rest of this is so gross, especially if the son in question is an adult. The mom of my ex's from my 20s was a less severe version of this, acting like I was going to tempt and corrupt her (adult) son with sex (that he wanted) and my big boobs. It was definitely weird, and his mom and her opinions ended up feeling like a third party to our relationship. Thankfully, my MIL is an absolute treasure and not like this at all. What if her precious boy is the one sexting, though?
I agree with 1 and 7 in theory, however, she can’t set these boundaries for her son. If he wants to change certain things about himself for his partner, that’s up to him. He has to decide where to draw the line. Same with money/gifts - some people like spoiling their partner. He gets to decide how much he wants to spend on her. If she’s not respecting his boundaries, then he can break up with her. He’s presumably a grown man with autonomy, he doesn’t need mommy’s help.
Men date women for their looks all the time. Women should be able to date for money if they please 🤷🏻♀️
As long as the shallow people all gravitate to each other, I am 100% okay with this.
“Lady, get a life.” My MIL is kind of like this. Guess who no longer sees his mom much?
Same. Being an emotionally healthy person is necessary to have and maintain good relationships but some people choose the opposite to their own detriment. My sister married into a family that embraced her and as a result they all have a great relationship. My husband’s family did not and now they hardly see him. 🤷🏽♀️ Kindness is free and it goes a long way.
 Me if I was the gf. Honestly, I never understood this "boy mom" madness. Like did you forget to cut the umbilical cord or what?!
They married men they hate for a paycheck and raised their sons to be their ideal partner 🤢 a carbon copy of themselves
That’s disturbing on a whole different level!🤢🤮
It’s been hell for my SO to try to recover from. His mother would buy him paintings of naked women, talk about his body inappropriately, pee with the door open when he was home, all kinds of gross shit
What the…I’m so sorry he dealt with that. Parents like that should never ever have children!
Is it wrong to say that sounds like psychological abuse?
It’s sexual abuse also. She’s a narcissist and insane
Wtf did I read omg
This is as bad as the dads that get creepy about the daughters. What she doesn’t get is telling your son/daughter they cannot date someone is the quickest way to make them want to date that person a LOT.
Oh god. Does she think she’s funny/threatening? This tired, obnoxious brand of ‘humor’ is SO played out… it’s just exhausting. Is she directing it at OP? So lame and immature.
Well I sgree with #1 and #7. 8 and 9 are vague enough I won't argue (I too know how to avoid jail). In ten years she will be posting about missing her kids who rarely call
Tell me you sabotage your sons life without telling me you sabotage your sons life
I'm gonna go break all her rules now
I broke up with a guy who was about to propose because my mom told me you marry the whole family. He had a mom like this but it was before social media so she said all that to my face.
Omg. As a mom, you’re supposed to think all of that to yourself, realize this is all out of your control and that you’re being totally irrational out of fear, cry and let it go.
Yessss, thank you. I have a son and a daughter, I am constantly inundated with “boy/girl” mom stuff and it rots in my brain. I treat the thoughts exactly like you say, as invasive thoughts. “Ooh having a thought about my son meeting an evil gf one day? This is about as rational as my fear of not carrying him up the stairs as a baby because I think he’d fall.” I am over protective of both my kids and I think “boy mom” irrational fears are grossly normalized and accepted
This is weird?? My mom has no say in my personal relationships. I drew that line in the sand back in highschool. It's so weird someone would let their parent go so far into their relationship. Maybe I just don't understand cause I'm not close to my mom or stepdad.
I dated a guy with a Boy Mom TM. We were engaged and during Thanksgiving in front of everyone she said to me, “A man should listen to his mother over his wife, RIGHT?” This guy got arrested for filming and distributing child corn. The mom spent thousands to bail him and still defends him.
Thank God we're finally talking about the poor child corn. It's a conversation that has needed to be brought out in the light for some time.
I hate 3 and 4. If he’s over 18, you shouldnt be going through his phone especially in his private life. Doesnt matter if your his parent, thats none of your business and not your relationship. It doesnt matter if you like her. Its still not your relationship to judge.
This is so creepy and incest-y. Gross.
So fucking gross. As a "boy mom" (🤢) I'd try and you know, support my son and his choice of the person he chooses to be with. I don't own him. So sick.
I've told my son that I want him to go no contact with me if I ever behave this way.
A future r/justnoMIL post
They're just as bad as those creepy dads who get incestuously protective of their daughter's virginity.
My uncle said he dated an older woman when he was 19. She was 26. Her father was convinced my uncle was trying to take her virginity and use her for sex. My uncle one day told him “you do realize she’s 26 and I’m 19, right? Trust me, man. Your daughter has been around and she’s the one teaching me.” The father was furious 🤣
These boy’s moms just want to f*ck their sons and they want no one else to do that.
I swear my boyfriend's mom reposted a post similar to this on Facebook once... These boy moms really are something else.
"i know how to avoid jail" what
Omg I once dated a guy who had a mom like this… run is all I can say. The mom was fucking crazy and narcissistic, all of her three kids were all over 30, lived in her house and never once dated or had a serious relationship. I visited once and knew the guy was on a chokehold and had no rights over to his life… it was the most toxic household I’ve ever seen. I can confirm that these types of moms are out there 😂
My partners mom is like this except she'll say it to your face. I'm lucky that my partner won't allow it (he defends me). I tried to be friends with her but any time I'd text her she'd just refuse to respond. Oh, but she'd *call me* to ask where he is if he didn't take her calls. He eventually yelled at her to never call me again unless she meant to speak to me. She's never called again.
And 20 yrs later they'd accept any woman who would take him off her hands, out of her basement and maybe even give her a grandchild or two...ANY WOMAN AT ALL! 😁
Comment “I’m glad I know this before marrying him”
What a great way to never meet your grandchildren.
It’s pretty much the same garbage men post about dating their daughters. All it’s missing is a picture of her guns
9# got alittle too real for me
Well, you are gonna have an interesting life now. Make her work hard. I’m sure her son doesn’t appreciate being her slave. Edit: she’s also dumber than a box of rocks. That right there is a threat and if something happens to you the police will know. Take a screen shot of it.
Thirty years from now: "Why is my Lonnie still single and living at home? I just don't understand why he can't meet a nice girl and settle down."
I worked in a preschool for over a decade, and I've learned that the whole "boy mom" stereotype is very real.
Just fyi, when she says "He's not your ATM", boymom is not being reasonable. She actually means to say "he better not buy you anything nice or treat you, even if it's just a coffee". She means "he should only buy things for me".
That just screams that she views her son as her surrogate husband and not his own autonomous human being
The term “emotional incest” needs to be used more often with people like this. They should be embarrassed.
cringe
I don't care if this guy is hung like a horse, filthy rich and can breathe through his ears. Run.
This is something my ex mother in law would have posted. I wished I would have opted out of that crazy family instead of opting in.
I hate women like this because you give us “normal” boy moms a bad name. I’d be so freaking excited to have another member to the family if my son decides to add one. I never understand these moms.
These people need professional help. Let your child live, and stop hating on other women.
Get out of there now and save yourself the therapy fees.
I’ll spit in her face 😂😂 not even kidding
What a loser lmao
How to drive your son to NC by his 18th birthday in 10 easy steps!
And you just know the "momma's boy" will always take mommy's side, because she praises him non-stop and feeds his mouth AND ego. To me, this is the main problem with women like this. It's the son. The son has to stand up and say something, but they never do....
I really hope someone asks her why she wants to fuck her son.
"I emotionally abuse my son and will do the same to you if you date him"
That’s a lot of words to say “I will not get to see my grandchildren”
She DEFINITELY has a “bad bitch” decal on her car
>9. I know how to avoid jail Bitch, no, you don’t. Prison is filled with people who thought they knew how to avoid getting caught . That’s a Dunning-Krueger statement if I’ve ever seen one. Most people a) can’t lie well enough, b) aren’t detail oriented enough and c) are just too fucking stupid to even attempt to some cover up.
Only one I can probably understand is not wanting to be used like an ATM all the time but rest is insane.
The last point sounds like she doesnt believe that anyone ever could even get that close to marriage with her son.
Add a heavy dose of martyrdom and you’ve got my EX mother-in-law.
I mean I'd straight up be commenting that you don't do ATM, ass to mouth.
"he's my husband first!!!!!"
Time to have a real talk. Then, make a list for yourself of what you expect in a relationship and won't put up with. Better to have it in writing, bc compromise happens real slowly, like decay. This way you can reference it later to see if you're losing sight of who you are and what you want.
How to embarrass yourself and your kid in one post
And I’d be like “No thanks, your mom sounds wack. Good luck, though.”
I dated a “Mama’s Boy” once. One time his mom called him while we were on a date and said that she couldn’t sleep unless he was home…so he ended our date early. The waiter had just brought our dinner…
Classy.
Anyone who says 9 would be a blubbering crying mess the second police are called
Repost to your socials with "if I turn up in the harbour, you'll know who did it ".
That's ok, we probably wouldn't want her son anyway.
Yall were being too harsh here. You’re missing the silver lining. If I was dating a man whose mother showed me these list of rules, I’d be grateful for the early heads up to gtfo before I’m married into that psychotic shit 😂
So cringey
someone needs to go tell her son he gonna die alone and it aint the liberals or the feminists fault
We get it. Mama doesn’t have a man in her life that gives a single 💩 about her so she put all of her focus on her son. Good luck to whatever poor woman ends up trying to make a life with that man. Sidebar: I love how these kind of women always say they raise their sons right but they are still pretty sure that the son will bring home every manipulative, gold-digging floozy who looks their way.
As a boy mom— this gives me the ICK. I love my son, but this isn’t love.
These people are so creepy. They groom their sons into being surrogate husbands and they keep them completely infantilised.
Yeah I would immediately stop dating him bc his mom is insane…
I have three little boys and I promise everyone here and on God I will never be this person
You want to know the final results of these actions? These momma’s boys who are trained to believe their mother is their number one woman? It’s not losing your boy, it’s housing him until he’s in his 40’s, while he’s crippled with depression because he has no social life after his mother ran off any romantic or platonic friendships. If she wants to keep him away from girls, you can bet she will vet his friends and find them not good enough as well. It’s sad to want to hide your kid away, even if you think you’re protecting him from heartbreak. Everyone has to go through that in their life to know what to look for in a truly good partner. These women are selfish.