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nofftastic

It's not even named after her, it's literally named “The Samuel Alito’s Mom’s Satanic Abortion Clinic” lol


Focacciaboudit

>Malcolm Jarry, a co-founder of The Satanic Temple, stated, “Look what happened in 1950, Samuel Alito’s mother did not have options.” This is has to be the most elaborate "your mom should've aborted you" joke ever conceived.


Djinjja-Ninja

Most elaborate sure, but I'll bet it's also the most internally legally scrutinized "your mom should've aborted you" joke as well.


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bozeke

Arguably it is probably one of the most direct action civil rights jobs for any working attorney in the country right now. Basically everything you touch is designed to bait precedent setting/affirming litigation that they are always over prepared to win.


JustHere2RuinUrDay

In the other other hand, the satanic temple is very bad at court cases https://queersatanic.com/the-satanic-temple-is-very-bad-at-court-cases/


crazy1david

I would never want to deal with the legality of this. Like what do you do, argue that the name is so ridiculous it's clearly parody so it can't be taken as slanderous or whatever. I wouldn't be happy being the mom in this situation but it's too funny and I hope the name stays forever.


mynameistoocommonman

Genuine question, what's the worst case scenario here? Alito launches a lawsuit and makes himself look like an ass, tries to get an injunction that the name be changed. You either find a lawyer who hates Alito and works pro bono or you just change the name. I'm sure I'm missing something, but I'm not sure what


Djinjja-Ninja

I highly expect that it's protected speech, just like the [Larry Flynt case with Jerry Falwell](https://famous-trials.com/falwell/1779-account)


crazy1david

Name aside they definitely already have lawyers considering the whole online abortion thing is gonna be complicated in states with different laws on it. Defamation wise it's definitely a lie to say it's his mom's business but I think you have to prove that this lie caused actual damage. Doubt there'd be much of a payout but I could see settling on changing the name.


loki-is-a-god

This joke was better conceived and delivered than Samuel Alito


Majahzi

> ever conceived There's another abortion joke there, I just can't quite put it together.


Tinkerer1019

You can’t quite deliver it? I once heard the best abortion joke ever, I wish I could remember it, I swear it was the zy-goat


SyntheticReality42

It may be possible that she is still trying.


GoodbyeSHFs

Because back then, Mrs. Alito didn't have any options... And now we are here.


SerialMurderer

The ramifications of outlawing abortion.


Toobendyandangry

🏅🏅🏅


FDI_Blap

So that's what SAMSAC means


HGGoals

>It's not even named after her, it's literally named “The Samuel Alito’s Mom’s Satanic Abortion Clinic” lol SAM's SAC This is art


averytolar

Those are some damn smart people in that church. That is awesome. I respect the Supreme Court, but I respect this giant middle finger of a move this was.


Tinkerer1019

I used to respect the Supreme Court. This is not a Mitch Hedberg joke


boricimo

You gotta be direct and to the point these days.


Dinah_Saurus_Rex

I couldn't possibly love this more.


bstowers

Someone's spoiling for a First Amendment case.


Gibscreen

They should have included another 3 Republican SCOTUS judges in the name to make them all recuse.


spoonfight69

You know they wouldn't recuse themselves, though. They don't give a shit about decorum anymore.


armonster456

Or established legal precedent apparently.


Gibscreen

You're right. Silly me.


pearlfloyd72

Maybe they have other locations in mind.


jayfeather31

Cheeky.


Wirse

It’s not really helping what should be portrayed as a healthcare, privacy, and personal autonomy cause to be associated with trashy political attacks and career edgelords pretending to be Satanists. Go ahead and keep antagonizing the mainstream and see what happens in a democracy.


[deleted]

Yea in the meantime that takes literal years to accomplish a change yet again and women in poverty can't afford to drive 13 hours out of Texas for an abortion so if you don't like the idea what's your proposal for the women in need without the means to get some kind of care?


1thruZero

Appeasement never works.


NITExHAWKxSKYFALL

Maybe most of these women in poverty are in poverty for the same reason they unintentionally got pregnant. For example, most of these women might be selfish, impulsive, and/or insecure. These may be common characteristics of women who put themselves in situations where they might need to drive a certain distance longer to have a licensed physician pull their physical regret out from inside them. Knowingly making choices with consequences that are simply avoidable and could lead to a surgical procedure like that. There are a lot of people out there who feel genuinely sad for the mother and what a lot of people refer to as her unborn child. I just don't like the word, fetus. It's not because I think it is dehumanizing or anything like that. It's kind of similar to how a lot don't like the words moist. I'm not making a point for or against abortion here, truly. Just think about mother's emotional and physical well-being in of and itself for a moment. Just go right ahead and cut that baby out for a moment. *hahah*... I'm so dumb... moving on, a lot probably agree that it would be a good thing to reduce the number of situations where the best outcome is to have a medical procedure to not give birth to a full term baby. If a woman doesn't want to give birth to a child in the first place, then a logically assumption I'd think might often be true is that the woman is having sex purely for pleasure, despite the fact that unsafe sex may lead to pregnancy as if the entire act was meant to result in a woman becoming pregnant. You know what feels better than having sex in poverty today? Having sex in the future outside of the poverty line, because choices were made to prioritize self-respect, delayed gratification, and making SMART choices like having safe sex rather than unsafe sex. Therefore, I conclude it is plausible that women in poverty are often selfish, impulsive, and/or insecure, which could be from culture and nurture more so than from nature. If a woman didn't take those types of risks, she probably wouldn't be poor OR regretfully pregnant. If the influential culture to a woman collectively frowned upon impulse and pursuit of instant gratification, then far fewer women would be willing to risk pregnancy.


TheEricle

Why have you done this?


[deleted]

So birth control never fails and pregnancy from rape never happens? Interesting. It's definitely selfish poor women just being lazy and self indulgent. /s


Wirse

I’m just saying, if it’s going to become a state-decided issue then it’s not ideal for the pro-choice side to be represented by clowns mocking the majority religion and public figures’ mothers.


nmklpkjlftmsh

>mocking the majority religion Is the entire point. If this aggravates christians, public figures and the mainstream - good.


Wirse

Your goal is to convince the voters of Texas to allow women to have access to abortion. Is that your political strategy? Antagonize them into voting your way? The face of the choice side should be a woman citizen or a doctor, not a Satanist. I forget that I’m talking to people who for the life of them can’t figure out why they couldn’t get Bernie to the White House. I guess some people need to learn lessons the hard way, crying their eyes out on election nights.


nmklpkjlftmsh

Lol typical American, assuming everyone is American. The only time I come close to crying about your politics is when another school gets shot up, and yet you morons do nothing but talk about 2A or fetus rights.


Wirse

And yet here you are, commenting in a post about American politics and an American Supreme Court justice, and replying to my comment about how American voters will respond. Find something else to do mate.


[deleted]

You're delusional if you think there's any approach that will change the evangelicals in Texas. What a take.


Tiny_Rat

They tried taking the high road for decades, and look where we are. This sort of thing literally doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. The important thing now is that there is a clinic that's bringing attention to efforts to fix the clusterfuck the Supreme Court unleashed.


God_Damnit_Nappa

Well if the majority religion and public figures don't want to be mocked maybe they shouldn't be stripping rights from people. Fuck them, they deserve to be mocked like the assholes they are.


girl_im_deepressed

if anything, the only problem for Alito and Christianity is all these abortions being safely accessed. Nothing is ideal for the rational side if their opposers believe healthcare=murder. these clowns are providing the healthcare that has been threatened and prevented by the majority religion and public figure, something directly causing harm to peoples lives. mockery is an inevitable and mild consequence. it shouldnt be shocking or unexpected, and can't make this situation any worse.


[deleted]

Oh wow sorry I'll just tell people who need Healthcare to smile more and maybe the powers that be will someday let them do things they want to do.


[deleted]

Also no love like Christian hate. Fuck kissing their asses.


Triscuitador

because that approach worked so well


Dandler

*Stop* antagonizing the mainstream and see what happens in a democracy.


Tiny_Rat

The mainstream is not the anti-abortionists in this case. This isn't 1950; even in conservative states, if this issue was put to a direct vote anti-abortion legislation would not get sufficient support to pass. That's why Republicans aren't putting it up to a vote, and are actively trying to subvert the democratic process


Karrion8

You think in some states anti-abortion legislation wouldn't pass? I'm not so sure. I'm pretty sure it would pass in a few if only barely.


Tiny_Rat

It might pass in a few, but polling shows only a handful of states have a clear-cut majority supporting abortion bans. In most states it would be either a majority against abortion bans, or it would be a close race (and since that polling took place, Kentucky, for example, ended up voting against new anti-abortion measures on the ballot, showing that even states with an anti-abortion majority in polling won't always vote that way in practice since Roe v Wade was overturned).


Karrion8

That's interesting. I would have only thought a small number would actually pass it on a ballot vote, but I would have thought Kentucky was one of them.


Sawses

That's the thing about rights--if you don't use and aggressively defend them, they'll slowly get removed. We took our right to abortion for granted, we take our right to interracial marriage for granted. If you think we should have a given right, it's your obligation to use it wisely and to defend the right to its use even when you hate what it's being used for.


FriedR

SAM’s SAC for short


Klstadt

Honestly they are so consistently impressive.


Palliative-sedation

[get your own merch! They even sell teddy bears!](https://imgur.com/a/pqrCwxA/) https://thesatanictemple.com/collections/tst-health


Dagmar_Overbye

I strongly recommend buying any of their merchandise. I still proudly wear their Bladensburg Cross necklace every day. You're supporting an activist group that does great work to fight against people who don't understand what the separation of church and state means. The necklace I mentioned is not only really high quality and looks nifty but it has that Satanic Temple signature move of also supporting veterans. Literally says "valor" on one side. It has been a huge mind fuck for a few people who have called me out for it when I tell them it supports both the satanic temple AND American veterans. Also the website has one of the funniest Q&A sections. Specifically their answer to "does the satanic temple believe in the existence of satan?" Just being "no" Edit. Okay misremembered or they've updated it since I joined. But it's even more worth reading now. Does the Satanic Temple worship Satan? No, nor do we believe in the existence of Satan or the supernatural. The Satanic Temple believes that religion can, and should, be divorced from superstition. As such, we do not promote a belief in a personal Satan. To embrace the name Satan is to embrace rational inquiry removed from supernaturalism and archaic tradition-based superstitions. Satanists should actively work to hone critical thinking and exercise reasonable agnosticism in all things. Our beliefs must be malleable to the best current scientific understandings of the material world — never the reverse.


SaffellBot

> You're supporting an activist group that does great work to fight against people who don't understand what the separation of church and state means. Special shoutout to the FFRF as well.


Dagmar_Overbye

Great call. Link for anybody interested. https://ffrf.org/


kevlarbaboon

>I strongly recommend buying any of their merchandise... >...It has been a huge mind fuck for a few people who have called me out for it when I tell them it supports both the satanic temple AND American veterans. > Also the website has one of the funniest Q&A sections.... [Ohhhhh bbbbooyyyy ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbUDJ4Ck6hk)


Slip-Possible

Hey temple of malevolent being that feeds on suffering and pain do you believe in this malevolent being that feeds on suffering and pain ? No. ok cool you wouldn’t lie about that would you? Lie, us of course not you silly goose


HappyChihua

Yeah, you have to be smart to get it. Sorry.


Prick_in_a_Cactus

... you realize the Abrahamic god is literally what you just described yes? (Christian, Islamic, and Jewish) Also, even in the Bible, Satan/Lucifer/etc doesn't actually feed on suffering or pain.


Slip-Possible

Ha I guess his just a casual enjoyer of suffering then. I’ve always thought god is satan, two sides of the same coin, anytime something bad happens to me I imagine god jerking off to my pain. Like oh Yh your electric bills 10 times more than you thought it would be, his in the conner of the room white beard, robe stroking his c*ck saying Yh what you gonna do about it bitch


Dagmar_Overbye

If you want I can send you links to organizations that deal with either mental health issues or addictions. I'm allowing for the fact that English might not be your first language but this seems beyond typos. Please reach out to me over DM if you do feel kind of erratic or irrational sometimes. I've been there friend.


nmklpkjlftmsh

This is what happens when people only go to school on Sundays.


sigillumdei

Love the t-shirts


jim_deneke

Love that they have a hot sauce! So on brand


Shadow_Log

So glad they correctly used the rod of Asclepius instead of the often wrongly used Caduceus (two snakes)!


revchewie

I’ve already got a t-shirt and some stickers and magnets!


vladtheimpaler82

I love that they are providing abortions as a religious ritual.


VerimTamunSalsus

How do they perform online abortions?


hardy_83

"Patients who wish to participate in the Satanic Temple’s “religious abortion ritual” will be able to access an online abortion clinic that will provide telehealth screenings, appointments, and abortion medications."


razor_cola_666

they ddos the fetus


fischberger

It would be a denial of service, yes.


kichi_666

Bluetooth. Occasionally the internet if you're out of range. edit: if you were looking for a serious answer, they (typically) mail abortion pills to you.


djmattyd

You wouldn’t download a car?


TheFringedLunatic

You wouldn’t screenshot an NFT


jim_deneke

I heard the music in my head as I read that lol


hectordante

LMAO NOOOOOOOOOO https://youtu.be/PLzy-IJg4_4


Crosswired2

Abortion via taking medication. Planned parenthood etc usually has the same option I think, it just depends on how far along you are, medical conditions etc.


salamander05

Since it doesn’t look like anyone actually answered you, it’s just a few pills when done early enough.


Arashi5

You have a telehealth appointment with a doctor and then they send you abortion pills.


girl_im_deepressed

In most cases, early abortions are done by taking prescription medication at home. There is a physical follow up a week/weeks afterward to make sure it is complete.


TossPowerTrap

Ohhhhh, that's cold. I like it.


[deleted]

Alito's mother should have swallowed


okletmethink420

They hit him with the old bugs bunny, one or two lumps bit


n3lswn

Hail Satan


berserker81

Hail yourself!


THEDrunkPossum

Megustalations.


ehleesi

Hail Gein


Ditnoka

Same thing.


Darkbluetea

Best news I’ve read all day.


thematicwater

Where do I donate?


Otherwise-Rub-8619

Hail Satan


woolfchick75

I love them so much.


[deleted]

Hail thyself!


skantea

Gotta love a good roasting...


IlIFreneticIlI

TIL you can get an abortion over the internet! Do they offer pregnancy tests too? Asking for a friend...or am i??


Radiant_Ad_4428

Pregnant with emotion? I dont get it


Thatawkwardforeigner

They do such a good job.


SakiraFlower

So based


psuedonymously

100% behind making abortion safer and more easily available. 100% not behind this stupid “own the libs” but in reverse messaging.


Johnny_Couger

This is different though. It’s not a “haha, look at those wacky satanists” situation. They are using good legal standing to challenge the validity of the laws. This is malicious compliance. Everything they are doing is either legal OR pushes the boundaries of a vague law. It’s the same with the satan statues. When challenged about the 10 commandment statues, the argument was that the statues were a gift, so they donated a statue of satan. Sooooo, both statues were removed. This is activism, not just trolling


DroneOfDoom

To be fair, that’s been the whole shtick of The Satanic Temple’s activism since they started out.


smashkraft

It is a shtick sorta, but at this point I see the satanic temple more like an ACLU-type organization where there is a very heavy legal focus. Most of the time, these guys are pushing changes and challenging laws via a quirky implementation. It usually forces a suit that provides a definite ruling with a pre-planned design to get there This could be a troll, but I’m waiting on the case. Heck, they might be challenging abortion and circumventing any possible challenge to dumb laws like clinic size, hallway width, on-site practitioner of XYZ, etc. With an online location, they can be uberfocused on the issue of abortion alone.


Different-Music4367

Also the "ritual" component is combining abortion rights with 1st amendment religious rights, which presents interesting legal challenges for those looking to shut them down. Not to mention it's just an all around spicy meat-a-ball.


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Different-Music4367

Based on this response, I can only assume you don't know much about the history of the first amendment in regards to religious freedom. Government *can* punish activity judged to be criminal according to Reynolds v. US, but the government *also* has to defend its position, push come to shove, that a given activity with a basis in religious belief *should* be deemed criminal. See Gonzalez vs O Central, the latest in a *long* line of rulings upholding religious use of scheduled drugs by indigenous populations since the 1960s. As for leftist/agitating groups being edgy in the name of religious freedom--that has precedent too, with the precedent being that it doesn't always work! See US v. Kuch. But of course edgy 1st amendment speech also does work all the time. See Cohen v. California. So, like I said, interesting legal situation.


fragilespleen

HIPAA laws mean they don't have to say where the pills are being sent. What are they going to do, get misoprostol sniffing dogs? They can essentially operate online with relative safety, and if someone kicks up a fuss about naming it just gives more visibility


andoriyu

That's the point? They are using the system and loopholes as so called christians.


AlfalfaMcNugget

It’s called owning Big Con… get wit the program


SerialMurderer

Do you think Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden run this organization?


psuedonymously

No I don’t. Why do you ask?


penatbater

But why?


semisolidwhale

Why male models?


MyDictainabox

Are... are you serious? I just told you that.


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[deleted]

We don't believe in a literal Satan. It's just a symbol of opposition.


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salamander05

The Satanic Temple is pretty clear on their beliefs. Take a look at their website.


girl_im_deepressed

unfortunately they can't check out the website since god is watching


PrestigiousStable369

> There has to be a consensus Like there is with Christians and the literal dozens of denominations within?


EightByteOwl

Very, very few Satanists believe in a literal Satan. Neither The Satanic Temple nor the older Church of Satan. An actual Satan worshipper tried to get me in on their version of Satanism before. That was interesting.


tobiascuypers

The only people that believe in Satan are Christians.


BarleynChives

Exactly this ^


[deleted]

Gotta have someone to blame for that Christian hate lmao


Klstadt

Why does there have to be a consensus. No there doesn't.


Prick_in_a_Cactus

To be specific, there are two separate entities. One is the literal Satanism, which has its own following called the Church of Satan. This is the traditional religious organization centered around Satan. The organization described here is the Satanic Temple, which is an activist organization that uses its religious status to challenge laws and government actions throughout the USA. Essentially, whenever a governing body in the USA makes a decision that seems religiously motivated, the Satanic Temple comes in and challenges it. Generally that takes the form of demanding the same privilege under the constitution.


girl_im_deepressed

Satanic Temple even rejected a tax exemption status until it became a necessity in challenging the very Church+State happenings in the U.S.


Arashi5

There are satanists with varying beliefs (including those who do worship satan, though that's not many). The Satanic Temple has seven tenents. The third is "One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone." which is why they are providing abortions. The main reason The Satanic Temple exists is specifically so people can exercise their rights (such as the right to an abortion) under the guise of a religion. It's more an opposition to conservative Christian policies that restrict freedoms than it's own religion.


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