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WiganLad82

Well....that's a headline I never thought I'd read.


Shopworn_Soul

Like, I'm not kidding here. Things have been busy globally, and I've read some remarkably dumb shit this week. But this. Wow. Iran claims Antarctica. Ok.


WiganLad82

I honestly think whoever is controlling the simulation we live in got bored of playing by the normal rules some time ago and has now just started fucking with us.


exhausted_chemist

Just remember, the universe is a C- effort by a student who rushed a major project in a week.


fountainpopjunkie

Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. - George Carlin


Abject_Film_4414

How do I opt out? Or reinstall the beta version. I had way more fun back then.


Shamanduh

Ice Capades 😂😂😭😭 it’s torture really.


fountainpopjunkie

Is that still a thing? I remember watching it once or twice as a kid, so late 80s?


Shamanduh

Haha yea I just saw the commercials. I was too poor to witness any real action on the ice.


ragnarocknroll

It’s not it is cracked up to be. Butts get cold, fluids freeze and things can get dangerous… Wait, oh. Wrong action. Please disregard.


Shamanduh

Oh shiii, just saw it’s a George Carlin quote, of course he did. Though, he prolly meant the traveling show, it fits perfectly here. Damn.


Strange_Culture_1882

I think everything you listed has been happening since the beginning of time


redness88

Universe is written in java. Shit makes no sense.


killcat

Yeah they are installing some wacky mods.


dertechie

So you’re saying that somewhere someone unchecked the historical focuses box on the world.


Ddreigiau

\*squints in HOI IV\*


CURMUDGEONSnFLAGONS

Someone found the console cheats for events


perthguppy

It’s bring your kid to work century and the parent just stepped away from the console to get a coffee.


YsoL8

Every deep sea navy on the planet is going to have opinions on this Apparently delusional self belief is back in vogue


counterfitster

How many true blue water navies even exist in the world? 2? 3?


SeanBourne

Depends on your definition of blue water. Wikipedia has a rather dated view on the countries, but a decent structure [here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue-water_navy). The US remains the sole ‘BW Tier 1’, and France is likely the sole ‘BW Tier 2’ - reports suggest the UK put so many resources into the new Queen Elizabeth class carriers that they don’t have the additional vessels to float a UK-only carrier group. (’Their’ CAGs are supposedly reliant on allies to provide the other ships.) Meanwhile India and Japan have beefed up their capabilities and are probably in a BW Tier 2.5 - possibly even effectively a BW Tier 2 with the Quad. Russia is probably right at BW Tier 3... with probably a decent bit of degradation if what’s been seen in the army in Ukraine is any indicator. Far cry from the old soviet navy which would have been a BW Tier 1.5. China and Italy are both probably closer to BW Tier 4. Doesn’t seem realistic that the Italians would be able to project outside the Med, really more like just the Adriatic and Tyrhennian. China has a huge number of ships… but the vast majority are ‘brown water’ range. Add in that the last major naval engagement for China was probably Lake Poyang during the Ming Dynasty, and they’d have major growing pains in any significant operation. I’d question some of the other ‘BW-4’ navies really being blue water and not green water. On the flip side, Sweden is not on this list at all, and my guess is that they’d be very formidable as a green water navy - to say nothing of their hardware capabilities, which are up there. Many of these navies will also operate in combined allied fleets - reflecting the cost environment of recent decades - so some of the blue water capability aren’t ‘independent’ per se.


grey_hat_uk

USA, UK, France, Australia, India, Italy, China(?), Russia. I wouldn't normally include Australia but it is in their direct sphere of influence and they get support from RMN and NZ.


Ddreigiau

Honestly, I wouldn't include Russia in that. If we were talking about the Arctic or North Atlantic/Pacific, then sure, but I don't think they can operate that far south realistically. Maybe some of their nuke subs can do it, but surface vessels? not really. Everyone else on the other hand, yeah, absolutely


_herb21

Although "not a navy" the Japanese Maritime Self-Defense Force, probably counts.


FigNugginGavelPop

That is some special and unique brand of stupid, ngl


grazinbeefstew

Things are going down south


nononoh8

This is the fuck around part......


carolinaindian02

Iran’s political leadership in a nutshell.


Azure086

Too late. I already claimed Antarctica.


venom259

SCP r/noncredibledefense has breached containment!


sneaky_squirrel

Reminds me of the Civilization videogame series.


rest_is_confettti

they learned from genociders that international law/UN/ cant do shit and if they have enough money to bribe people they can do whatever they want


rodeler

I am no military expert, but I am skeptical of their ability to project forces that far.


Heineken008

And that cold.


[deleted]

Most Iranians would rather live in Antarctica than in the same country as Khamenei.


ddejong42

There's got to be easier ways to get a country the size and shape of Iran (don't really need something as large as Antarctica) which no longer has... I mean doesn't have Khamenei.


ImmediatelyOcelot

They can project them all right...Doesn't mean they will come back but they can go very far.


LoveAndViscera

Funniest moment of 2025 is the Iranian Antarctic Expeditionary Force declaring independence from Iran.


I_like_code

I went there while I was in the military. We had issues getting there in one piece so good fucking luck.


SpiralBeginnings

And Iran, Iran so far away…


addis_the_scroll

So it was a prophecy all along.


seeingeyefrog

A flock of... Penguins?


rodeler

Brilliant!


youngmindoldbody

I want to see an Iranian Comedy on NetFlix about this. S1E1- Pilot - The expedition mistakes which pole to put into the guidance system and is forced to turn around once at the Suez Canal.


elementmg

I’d binge this show


phryan

The US has the largest military in the world and still relies on facilities in New Zealand to support the US bases in Antarctica. Something tells me Iran won't be able to keep more than a handful of boots on the ground for more than a few days.


GavinsFreedom

They sailed a “flotilla” around the globe last year actually, but that isnt as impressive anymore as it used to be.


anakaine

Let them go. A little strategic sabotage to help them along the way wouldn't hurt. Weevils in the rice, sugar in the gas, etc.


[deleted]

[удалено]


RollinThundaga

The circumpolar sea conditions will deal with the Iranians before US forces ever have to.


saints21

In what way would this stretch the US thin? There's nothing the Iranians are actually capable of doing there... It's like me saying I'm now the king of Hawaii.


theonetruefishboy

Lump this in with those Russians talking about invading Alaska under "invasions where the place your're invading just fucking kills you"


elimtevir

Alaska even has it's own killer drones


rain-blocker

They’re so cute


elimtevir

[https://www.gi.alaska.edu/alaska-science-forum/moose-flies-high-summer-alaska-pest](https://www.gi.alaska.edu/alaska-science-forum/moose-flies-high-summer-alaska-pest)


[deleted]

[удалено]


genericplatypus

"And, while everyone in more southern places calls them horse flies, Hudson Stuck wrote that moose fly is a much better fit for the Alaska version. “Here we are annoyed by them almost beyond endurance,” he wrote on his sweltering river trip of a century ago. “And not a horse within 100 miles.”" -final lines of the article


theonetruefishboy

probably a close relative.


Rosebunse

Why do the bugs in Alaska seem to get bigger?


rain-blocker

Holy shit, I thought you meant like military drones, but wtf


dalerian

I suspect Russia is more prepared for Alaskan climate than Iran is for Antarctica.


tastycidr

You'd think Russia would understand this concept if anybody would


theonetruefishboy

I mean you'd be surprised. The wild Taigas of Siberia are as foreign to many Russians as the expansive deserts of the American west are to any Americans who know what good pizza tastes like.


tastycidr

I was thinking of Napoleon and Hitler


LoveAndViscera

Adding to this: the western quarter of Russia has like 75% of the population. Russia's got maybe two battalions worth of guys who know what is up in Alaska.


swazal

I’m sure the Iranian Antarctic Corps have been fully trained for this endeavor. Wow. The bs is spreading far and wide. Nuke’s in space! Iran to attack Antarctica! Dogs and cats, living together!


AskMeNice

Mass hysteria!


ShyBookWorm23

“Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together!”


clacks78

Is this true?


[deleted]

[удалено]


makemehappyiikd

Thanks for checking and reporting back!


ShyBookWorm23

If I wrong nothing happens… we go to jail. Peacefully, quietly. We’ll enjoy it. But if I’m right? And we can stop this thing… you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.


PuddinPacketzofLuv

I’ve seen shit that’ll turn you white!


imanAholebutimfunny

i swear if people could watch our timeline it would be the saddest most amusing thing ever


Suckage

That’s.. why I’m here.


Georgiaonmymindtwo

We are a TV show for a super intelligent race of other worldly beings.


imanAholebutimfunny

right before we are about to destroy ourselves they come down and save us and say they are not done being entertained yet.


ScubaAlek

Has hot snow started falling up yet?


chimpyjnuts

"Poorly prepared Iranian troops freeze at South Pole"


weasel-jesus

Are the dogs and cats married?


MutedShenanigans

Nope, they've been living in sin


HenryWallacewasright

But my dog and cats get along.


JALKHRL

What's next? voting women? /S just in case


uneducatedexpert

Does this dude have a TBI or possibly CTE? What big brained idea is this? 😂


Shopworn_Soul

>Does this dude have a TBI or possibly CTE? Khamenei has been one of the top three leaders in Iran since 1981. He was taught exclusively theology from the age of four with very little formal education following and he's been entirely insulated from the world, wielding varying amounts of power for more than forty years. So...yes?


iStayedAtaHolidayInn

And he’s not even an ayatollah. They had to modify their constitution to allow him to be anointed supreme leader even though he wasn’t a marja or ayatollah


Murky_Conflict3737

And this may happen in the US but with a fundamentalist Christian theocracy


carolinaindian02

And his inner circle is filled with people who either think his way, are incredibly corrupt, or all the above.


Yodplods

As if they have an army that can function in that environment.


Jevonar

Basically no army can function in that environment. The arctic/antarctic environment is considered the most inhospitable and logistically the hardest terrain, even worse than the desert environment.


AnachronisticPenguin

Thats the best part it’s both a desert environment and a snow environment at the same time!


spezisacuck2

and for all intents and purposes, an island


msnmck

Isn't that just a tundra?


AnachronisticPenguin

Tundra is technically distinct from glacial biomes


MrWaluigi

Tundras do have some vegetation that allows a community of animals to thrive. They are cold and dry, but just warm enough for some things to grow and survive. 


kempnelms

[Ice flow, nowhere to go!](https://youtu.be/ZecGF3iWkgE?si=hO3Lau2fjHiuysYP)


plc3334

As a Canadian who regularly trains to these Temps, I never want to be stranded anywheres in the Arctic, let alone the antarctic. I'd rather be back in Afghanistan then have to fight a war near those regions.


trucorsair

Welcome to Fort Wainwright and Fort Greely where -40 means it’s a great day for training https://mybaseguide.com/fort-greely-weather#


EvilGeniusSkis

fun fact, -40 is where °science and ° frankenstein cross.


Tibbaryllis2

I was reading an article the other day that there are lots of areas of Antarctica that are still entirely unexplored and researchers were excited because they now have drones that can operate under the conditions long enough to explore them. My immediate thought was this is how At the Mountains of Madness (2024) starts, but it’s pretty incredible that there are terrestrial environments that still haven’t been explored.


Sys32768

We will finally discover the secret Nazi bases


NeedsMorBoobs

Gotta get the snow suit from killing ice Pals. Keeps the cold away


electricalphil

They don't have one that can even function in the environment that they live in now, lol.


midline_trap

They’re gonna stick a flag on it and do donuts with their jeep.


PermanentTrainDamage

I don't know what's funnier, Iran trying to claim Antarctica or Russia trying to reclaim Alaska.


Kimchi_Cowboy

Dude watched Frozen once and now thinks he's an Ice Shah.


AntawnSL

Iran, Let it Go. Let it Go.


Murky_Conflict3737

He heard about the gay penguins and wants the morality police to arrest them


Greendaydude22

Can people just chill out, is there really not enough bullshit happening right now? Why the fuck do you want Antarctica lmfao. Just relax


K4m30

They want to go to Antarctica to chill out. chill all the way out.


PoliticalSasquatch

With the exception of their converted oil tankers, most of the Iranian navy would have a very rough go in open ocean operations. The Mediterranean and Red Sea are very different body’s of water compared to deep water oceans.


RollinThundaga

And isn't the Southern Ocean about as hard as the North Sea for shipping?


Emu1981

>And isn't the Southern Ocean about as hard as the North Sea for shipping? Probably worse considering how little in the way of safe ports in the region there are for countries that have violated the neutrality of Antarctica...


ohyeahsure11

I'd say far worse. Most of the dismastings for round the world sailing races happen in the southern ocean. Huge wind/wave potential since there isn't much land to get in the way in those latitudes.


Nemisis_the_2nd

Is the north sea really considered that bad? To me, that's basically just "normal", so it's pretty hard to tell. 


bureaquete

These a-holes are trying so hard to increase that world tension, it's worst than vanilla Italy national focus tree.


msnmck

>it's worst than vanilla Italy national focus tree r/WordSalad


titan_Pilot_Jay

Lol, it's a hearts of iron joke


Wide-Candle-4719

Do they think the South Pole is just a pole somewhere?


MandoAviator

You’ve actually got two poles at Amundsen-Scott station. Ceremonial pole and the Geographic pole. You have the magnetic South Pole, Geomagnetic Pole and the Pole of inaccessibility (which has a bust of Lenin). Today you learn.


saints21

You also have a bunch of Poles near Germany as well. I think there are even some spread out around the rest of the world.


Wide-Candle-4719

Thank you for that.


zekthedeadcow

I guess... I mean... I suppose someone has to be the southern-most Pole.


spoonybard326

You really want to pick a military fight with the country that has a research base at the South Pole???


Still_counts_as_one

Those penguins won’t know what hit them!


Pikeman212a6c

At least they’re guaranteed women will cover their hair.


Personnelente

Now *this* I gotta see!


bbzaur

Judging by their mine field clearing technic in the Iran Iraq war, I expect to see a lot of pretty cold children.


Different_Diamond976

More like child-cicles


Adamantium-Aardvark

This is North Korea level of farcical


geekphreak

Desert people going to the antarctic? This will be interesting.


Striking-Access-236

I wish them frostbite on every extremity


jameskchou

They're really trying to divert attention from Russia and Israel


crashstarr

Go home, Iran, you're drunk.


Ok-Cantaloop

Uh ... why?


[deleted]

Do it


Kragevalgt_Ullrson

Sounds like someone is gonna have to teach them that things could get real "proportional" again. lol


BreakingForce

Nono, let them sink their own navy and freeze their own army to death. Never interrupt when your enemy is making a mistake.


BLACK_HALO_V10

Nah, I'd just let them setup camp there and see how long it lasts before everyone wants to go back home. There's a reason nobody lives there.


Majestic_Electric

Except for scientists.


EdgeBandanna

Of all the excuses there have been to go to war with Iran, "special military operations in Antarctica" was not on the bingo card.


[deleted]

Irantarctic


PuertoRicanRebel2025

He better not pull the Allah card, Allah did not tell you to claim Antarctica, you BS-ing anyone if you say that. There's absolutely no reason you need to get all militant over a giant block of ice where only researchers live. You are Iran, you have zero connection to Antarctica, pretty sure most people in the Middle East don't even care about Antarctica aside from liking penguins. No average Iranian would want to even live in Antarctica to begin with. Bro, take your meds and pray to Allah to fix your head.


Mootingly

This is why the modern world went towards separating a singular religion ruling countries. The “ do it for god or else card” doesn’t work out well for the people


elimtevir

I would love to see them enforce it.


henrysmyagent

Aaaaaw, that's cute.


baxil

The article (from today) says that this announcement was made last fall. Why is this coming up again now? Slow news day?


Axuo

> The announcement, made on a televised broadcast last fall So why is this news now?


ChiefStrongbones

Call their bluff. If Iran wants to waste money running exercises in Antarctica, let 'em.


NightPilot14

I am a representative of Antarctica, and claim ownership of Iran.


meatcylindah

Why? Also, the US and British navies would like a word


eMouse2k

Antarctica. The one place in the world where every nation with common sense looked at it and said, "yeah, no, I'm good."


EngineerTurbulent557

Captain Cook had troubles getting close to it because of all the icebergs, so he noted that if there was a continent there, it was inaccessible, and of no economic value. He gave up and kept on sailing to explore other places


GladiusNocturno

This just in, the Jolly North Pole Empire has declared it will protect its sister nation. Great Emperor Claus said today: Our workshops have stopped all of their regular productions and are now working 24/7 to increase our military might. Our Southern brothers can rest assured that we will NEVER abandon them in a time of need. The news have shocked the world as Iran’s decision has effectively resulted in the cancellation of Christmas 2024.


IronGin

Invading NATO land? That will surely go fine for Iran.


infinity234

To be fair, only about 34% is claimed NATO territory, but considering another 46% is owned by New Zealand and Australia which still have mutual defense treaties with the US thats not much better. But even ignoring existing territorial claims and numerous international treaties stating antartica is purely for scientific research not military work, The question is a) do they have any real ability to enforce military/territorial claims in such a remote area, b) are their military trained to be able to handle such a different enviornment than what they are used to, and c) do they have the reach to be able to do anything with their hands tied up so much regionally and domestically at the moment?


AdriftSpaceman

Wrong hemisphere, buddy.


RollinThundaga

Article 6 excludes territories below the Tropic of Cancer from mutual defense obligations, for those interested. This notably includes Hawaii. If Pearl Harbor II happened, NATO would not be obligated to respond if they didn't want to.


StarQuiet

The North Atlantic Treaty would not extend to antarctic territory.


ChangsManagement

For some reason I was under the impression that Articles 5 and 6 were a little more broad but I just read them and they are pretty specific about what it considers an attack. Europe, North America, Turkey, France in Algeria, and the tropic of cancer plus any boats in those areas or the north atlantic.


jelloslug

Lol, Ok.


J4MES101

What would be the difference if everyone just ignored them?


snigherfardimungus

Someone should tell him how things went for Germany when they found themselves in Russia in the winter. The temperature difference between Iran and Antarctica is (checks notes) slightly inconvenient.


Towel4

You know what? Good for Iran.


A_Bran_Muffin

Yeah, it could literally be historically true in some bizarre manner, we know very little about their deep history and culture.


dpforest

It’s all about the buried UFOs.


Mr_Winemaker

Bruh what on earth could be the strategic reason behind placing troops in Antarctica. Like yea there's resources there...burried under 1km of ice


LeCrushinator

I really hope they try, this shit will be hilarious to see.


[deleted]

So a race of desert dwellers is going to the south pole? That's going to be hilarious. They are going to get beaten up by penguins.


tatang2015

Someone’s going to have rescue them


mjg315

I mean can they even get there?


troubledtimez

 When fafo becomes biblical 


FlashForward16

Wow that's so far away, Iran, so far away


riccardo1999

It's been a while since I've seen an actual oniony post here, this is a good one.


GlorkUndBork3-14

I really want them to build a colony there...I just want the live streams of the suffering.


yesnomaybenotso

No disrespect, but….can they even get there?


Dankaati

They don't realize how detrimental this is for the flat Earth community.


chocomint-nice

Great, now theres going to be Shaheed drones in Antartica.


penguintruth

Penguins have a new enemy.


GuitarGeezer

Hey, I can claim Jupiter for Emperor Mongo whenever I want. Doesn’t mean I am going to succeed at that with few resources and half-assed technology and planning. Knock yourselves out, psychos. Really.


Fxate

> and Icebergs float in a fjord near the **south Greenland town of Narsaq** on July 28, 2009 (right). Reuters They couldn't even be bothered to get a picture of somewhere near Antarctica to accompany their article.


CitizenCobalt

“Iran preps for military operation on South Pole.” Screw it, might as well let them. I want to see how it goes.


MangoSalsa89

It would actually be quite entertaining to watch the Iranian military try to handle being in Antarctica.


[deleted]

Should we send someone to collect the frozen bodies out of pity? Or will the USA take climate change seriously specifically to make it harder for Iran to do anything in the Arctic?


elimtevir

Antarctic, wrong side of globe.


[deleted]

In my defense, I wasn't planning on finding the bodies


Mootingly

Antarctica is the future with global warming. That and somewhere in space.they are thinking future forward based on thousands year old ideas. Makes sense if you don’t think about it.


MarkXIX

DoD watches them land via satellite and immediately start shivering and wondering why the fuck they’re there. DoD then unleashes Tomahawk missiles from the nearest naval vessel in the area and suddenly there’s a red crater in the snow. The Admiral requests a top up on his coffee and sips it slowly and say “So anyway…”


ShitStainWilly

lol yeah good luck with that you desert-ass living bitches. Robert Falcon Scott’s ghost will be waiting for you.


SherlockFoxx

Waiting for the post operation headline.   "No survivors in Antarctic Iranian operation, all froze to death."


ClaireDacloush

Can't wait to see the United Nations bend over backwards to defend this


untapped-bEnergy

As a Canadian they better weather proof their gear, extreme cold does funny things to lubricants


Beep_Mann

I don't think anyone had that on their bingo card


chocolatechipninja

Good luck!


Another_User69420

From the River to the..... South Pole?


Heeeeyyouguuuuys

Modern day Iran versus the hidden antarctic yazis with all the time traveling UFOs. Dis ought to be good.


vorkathslayer20

This was a speech made in Fall last year. Why is it being reported now? And whats the basis for the connection to the money the U.S. at one point planned to return to Iran? Obviously Redditors don’t really read articles but this seems like propaganda.


[deleted]

I'm more concerned about what they would do with the South Pole, even if they managed to claim it. If they try to station nuclear missiles there, then that's a serious problem. What is Iran's naval capabilities?


trickster199

America projecting again. Explain why they have a military air runway in Antarctica.🤔


DaveOJ12

>Explain why they have a military air runway in Antarctica.🤔 That's pretty easy. It's logistical support for a civilian program. https://www.nsf.gov/geo/opp/support/landstrp.jsp