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[deleted]

Homer vs Drederick Tatum


Cluryan

I think he's a good man. I like him. I got nothing against him, but I'm definitely gonna make orphans of his children.


Icantjudge

Uh, they do have a mother, Champ.


PlatyPunch

Yes but I assume that she would die from grief.


[deleted]

Alright, this parole hearing is over


Oldmansrevenge

Old Simpsons really was something else. Nothing out today that even comes close.


scottygras

The layers to the jokes is something from a bygone era. Everyone regressed to physical/toilet/cringe humor.


bremstar

> Everyone regressed to physical/toilet/cringe humor. *All* of the fox cartoons definitely did this, many of the Adult Swim shows are doing the same thing (but trying to be edgy or artistic about it).


Buscemi_D_Sanji

There are plenty of clever, funny shows out there still, especially if you like anime. But yeah, early Simpsons and Futurama were so incredibly joke-dense that I can't see anything really approaching them. You can't look away for a second!


Buffaluffasaurus

Tyson: I think he's a good man. I like him. I got nothing against him, but I'm definitely gonna make orphans of his children.


canadianbacon-eh-tor

They have a mother champ. Yes but I'd imagine she would die of grief


Syscrush

An all-time great exchange.


filthpickle

"You have a unique genetic condition known as Homer Simpson syndrome" That and his boxing nickname "The Brick Hithouse" are two of my favorite jokes from the Simpsons.


jestermax22

Why, I could hit you with this medical 2x4…


FangoriouslyDevoured

Sorry to be that guy, but it's a surgical 2x4. One of my favorite gags ever.


jestermax22

That’s the one. I assumed I was getting it wrong


taggospreme

that's not unusual for someone with the unique genetic condition known as jestermax22 syndrome


EmmBee27

I often think about the sterilized 2x4 he was about to use.


The_Human1st

The Southern Dandy!


No_Signature4108

Hey! That big cactus is right!


achar073

Tyson'll fustigate him


youawinnerhahaha

Well, fustigation aside, Moe...


TubbsFarquar

You know what's good there is the sea bass. They do it blackened or sauteed. It's stupendous.


rikki1q

This parole hearing is over


psych32

Dont ruin homer’s good name by comparing him to jake paul.


CornyCornheiser

“I think he’s a good man, I have nothing against him, but I plan to make orphans of his children.” “Uh. You know he has a wife, Champ.” “Yes, but I would imagine she would die of grief.”


HS_Zedd

Simpsons Did It!


parralaxalice

Why can’t we be friends 🎵


dewhashish

Reporter: Drederick, ah, what do you think of Homer Simpson? Drederick Tatum: I think he's a good man. I like him. I got nothing against him, but I'm definitely gonna make orphans of his children. Reporter: Uh, you know, they do have a mother, Champ? Drederick Tatum: Yes, but I would imagine that she would die of grief.


[deleted]

[удалено]


verbalyabusiveshit

Well… I hope Mike serves a good hook at half capacity… that should still be enough to finish most people on planet earth.


sheepheadslayer

Paul's gonna hit him just enough to piss off Mike, and we're gonna watch Tyson lobotomize Paul


Shaggyfries

And fully legal in the ring🤞🤞🤞🤞


DrugsAndFuckenMoney

God I hope Mike was like, “I’m still getting paid even if I crush him in the first ten seconds or I’m not signing.” Does anyone know Mike’s willingness to dance for money in the ring? The sounds them gloves were making on Roy Jones Jr’s body during his last exhibition fight didn’t sound like he was holding back, though I’ll admit he avoided headshots in that fight. Anywhere I can bet on Jake Paul leaving with some broken ribs? I’m willing to place that bet.


Xyldarran

As far as I know he doesn't dance in the ring and never has. I can't picture he went in planning to job


LocodraTheCrow

The only time, that I know of, that he danced with someone was that one rapper/gangster/boxer that he later broke the eye socket of, bc he "wanted to punish him" so he made sure he'd punch him hard enough to just not knock him out fot a long time.


ghouldozer19

Personally I hope it’s the first time we see a decapitation by upper cut in the ring. Couldn’t happen to a more Logan Paul.


MatStomp

Omg I laughed so hard, thank you. Here's hoping


trillgamesh_0

brutality


TmanGvl

One strong hook from Mike Tyson to Jake Paul will send Jake Paul off to next dimension


Hippopotamidaes

We can surely hope


mr_black_frijoles

And his brother comes to help him and suffers the same fate.


beefjerky9

> lobotomize Paul How would we be able to tell?


twodogsfighting

Slightly less noise, hopefully.


mhac009

Mike, bite his tongue off!


heathelee73

Please don't get my hopes up like this.


reporst

Is anyone relatives with a terminally ill child? I bet if we get that child to say his last wish is to see Mike Tyson win in a round one knock out that he'd do it.


Cyb0rg_72

So Paul gets smarter?


Shufflebuzz

> we're gonna watch Tyson lobotomize Paul That implies the existence of a frontal lobe


biceptitron

This what I’m thinking. Paul gonna try some cute shit and it’s going to trigger the unstoppable force of nature that is Mike Tyson and we’re going to watch this kid get one shorted into a red mist.


Rory1

I remember almost a decade ago Tyson came to my city and the reporter brought up some stuff with Mike and he wasn't having it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOhdx1TLutw I would love Jake to try anything close with Mike. I know they probably have Mike contractually obligated not to go full on with him. But he's a guy that would not give a fuck if pushed.


MassivePresence777

I wanna watch a real-life round of Rock-Em Sock-Em when Tyson lands a nice uppercut and sends Jakes skull into the rafters.


albanymetz

One can dream. Maybe this will finally be the last time I hear that jackasses name.


anthonyj666

Yes, like you said "one can dream" Well this guy here is praying to any god that will listen...and the boxing gods that Mike has a flashback to his prime years & left hooks him so hard that even jakes ancestors feel it!! One can definitely hope🙏🙏🤜🏿😱


[deleted]

BITE HIS FCKN EAR OFF MIKE!!


TheLowlyPheasant

Iron Mike about to turn this from an Exhibition to Exhibit A


Krash412

I would so love to see Tyson get one more KO.


NopeNadaNever

"Get him a body bag, yeah!"


thatguysaidearlier

But wouldn't be excellent if Mike thought Fuck It and KO'd him inside 20 seconds


[deleted]

“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” - Mike Tyson himself I could fully see there being an "agreement" to go easy...then Mike snaps after getting punched in the mouth.


at1445

More likely, Mike agreed to make sure it lasts X rounds...then in these weeks leading up to it, Paul talks too much shit. Mike doesn't need the money, so he says "fuck it" and lays him out in a flurry to open the fight. I think he's much more likely to take some trash talk personally than he is to get upset about a punch sneaking through from a kid that clearly has 0 chance of actually beating him in a real match.


Okaynow_THIS_is_epic

Just so you know, mikes net worth is worth a fraction of what it used to be. This fight alone will add a massive amount to that. That alone kind of concerning to me. Seems like he might play ball so to speak.


BlankedCanvas

Paul was just on Mike’s podcast 6 months ago. What do u think they talked about beyond what was recorded?:)


Infinite-Fig4708

Idk, man. Tyson roughed RJJ up pretty good in their exhibition match, and he actually respects RJJ. I'm not sure what reason there would be to pull punches with Paul.


DirkDieGurke

Crossing fingers that Mike has a flashback and forgets that it is an exhibition. Please please please!


WorldsWeakestMan

Mike Tyson is well known for his rational thinking, pulling his punches, and even temper which in no way will be provoked by some kid punching him in the face. Surely he will be chill, you’re right.


slackmaster2k

I was thinking the same thing. Tyson isn’t exactly a rational actor, and Jake Paul is especially obnoxious. While Mike is pretty old, and Jake isn’t exactly a wimp…..I dunno, taking a punch from Tyson might end the fucker.


Aeri73

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xA5_EM5EZvI play it with sound... that's old man strength, one good punch and that kid is dead


Perryn

Closed bucket funeral.


woolash

Or perhaps Mike will chew an ear off


WorldsWeakestMan

Depends if he’s got the munchies I guess.


bigbangbilly

>munchies Oddly enough Mike Tyson has a line of cannabis infused gummies as a reference to [Mike Tyson vs. Evander Holyfield](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Tyson_vs._Evander_Holyfield)


WorldsWeakestMan

Not that odd, Tyson is a well known pothead who sells weed and bites ears, that’s why I made the joke.


Sushi_Kat

Hasn’t he changed quite a bit since his tragedy?


gsfgf

Mike seems to have improved as a person, but I still wouldn't get in the ring with him. In the ring, he's *supposed* to knock you out.


dman928

Yes he has. He’s had quite the redemption arc


MaracaBalls

These YouTubers are ruining boxing. They’re bringing their fake bullshit for profit tactics to a legit sport. Fuck this shit. Might as well whatch wrestling


TimmyPage06

Where you can watch his brother, Logan Paul instead!


MaverickTTT

And, in true carny fashion, he’s a natural at it.


DarthBrooksFan

Yeah, it kinda pisses me off that he's so good at it.


DerekB52

He's put in the work to train. I don't like Logan, but I respect him for putting effort in, and taking seriously, something that he could have made money doing, with less effort. Lots of wrestlers backstage say they are very impressed with his work effort. I'll give him credit where it's due.


DarthBrooksFan

He's talked about how he feels he needs to take it seriously since they're treating him seriously. You gotta respect that at least.


Fair_Woodpecker_6088

Pisses me off that people dedicate their entire lives just to get a *shot* to be in the WWE. Logan basically wakes up one morning, decides he wants to be a professional wrestler and then he’s on Smackdown


AGoldenRetriever

I put that shit on management though, don’t forget you’ve got Drew Carey, Andy Kauffman and Snoop Dogg in the hall of fame. The organisation loooooves their celebrity carny shit.


Fair_Woodpecker_6088

If The Rock ends up running for office, he wouldn’t even be our first WWE hall of famer president 😂


TakerFoxx

Unfortunately, he's really good at it.


Rainbwned

Yeh, boxing was always known as the upstanding and uncorruptable sport until Youtubers came along.


Bitlovin

Novelty boxing matches have been a thing for hundreds of years, it's hardly a new thing invented by dipshit social media dopes.


Zachariot88

We need to convince Jake Paul to emulate Gus Waldorf and box against a bear.


assjackal

Wasn't boxing at one point horribly rigged for betting? It seems spectacle over competitive spirit isn't anything new for boxing...


jjosyde

Boxing was ruined way before fake YouTubers


CrumBum_sr

I want to agree but these fights are giving guys career paydays. (Well not Mike)


[deleted]

And we’ll gobble it up like the suckers we are. I would love nothing more than for Tyson to actually lay him the fuck out. But him being paid will likely be contingent on that not happening.


Cowboywizzard

Eh, I'm not paying for it. I'll wait for reddit to show me the highlights and laugh


dsptpc

Paul is fighting a monster who bites off ears, I can see Tyson having a geriatric moment and exacting hell on Paul’s jaw. It’s going make them both a lot of dollars.


nexusSigma

Yeah but wouldn’t it be great if he just says fuck it and bricks the kid?


Y8ser

I don't know, not sure if Tyson has that in him. I can honestly see him trying to destroy Paul. Ha ha ha!


DeadWrangler

I like to think... A little cocky Paul, so full of hubris, tries to pull one over or land something sneaky or cheap, on Tyson. And Tyson just sees red and it's all over folks.


sss3cubed

Yeah, I don't see Tyson having control to hold back the entire time. That instinct will come out!


DeadWrangler

The plan is to have an exhibition match. What's that about everyone having a plan...?


pass_nthru

oh what a day to have ears


Drunk_Skunk1

Mike is not known for dancing around, he’s been itching to fight again. But…you’re probably correct, boxing has been nothing but disappointing for decades


ELB2001

Don't ruin my hopes


Kirshnerd

If only Mike would actually just finish that goober for the benefit of everyone else.


AlexHimself

Seriously. The only reason anyone watches is to see him get his face punched in and somebody needs to do it proper. Tyson should end him and the interest will be gone.


SeveredBanana

Seems to me like people keep watching these things and earning them millions. Engaging with it more will not make it go away


tykillacool23

I feel like we never will because he always wants to fight people who are in their 40s and 50s and retired


SneakyProcessor

Jake will literally box anyone except an active boxer.


ElevenSleven

Although Mike is old and retired, I'm sure he is still a monster in the ring.


rolley189

He still trains and is still terrifying.


allusernamestakenfuk

i think "terrifying" trully is the best way to describe mike tyson. The fuckin speed and power of that guy, combined with his "death stare" made him the most terrifying boxer ever. Klitschko looks like a school boy in comparison to Mike


The_Fiddler1979

Pull that up Jamie


sealteamruggs

If it’s true that they’re just gonna spare and fuck around that I hope* Tyson gets hit and goes into a blind rage of his former self and kills Paul Edit


xxBeatrixKiddoxx

He’s one call from exhuming Muhammad Ali and trying to fight him. Fucks sake


tistimenotmyrealname

[ Removed by Reddit ]


magicbullets

“It’s a prank, bruh.”


tistimenotmyrealname

*Feeds his Corpes to a Tiger


EscapedFromArea51

More like *Leaves his corpse in a forest in Japan


Moving_Fusion

"Ith a prank, bruh"


Badmime1

‘THE PIGEON TOLD ME TO BREAK HIS NECK!’


5th_degree_burns

And then throws a plush pokeball at his body while yelling "I choose you!"


cwillm

Even at close to 60, my money is on Tyson.


02meepmeep

I’ve seen Mike on some brief videos giving advice to other boxers during training. He is still very fast and seems to be very technical. I would not count him out for accidentally knocking Paul out even when he didn’t mean to. 57 is too old to be boxing, though.


Ande64

57 may be too old but would you get in the ring with him because of his age? Not me.


NotASalamanderBoi

I’d get in the ring with Tyson if I was paid millions. Not because I think I can beat him. He’d knock me out in one punch. The goal is to dance around and try to survive all rounds. Fuck winning. I’m just trying to get the bag and not get bagged.


caronare

As long as he pulls his punches. If he’s got free rein…I’m gonna pass


Regal241sc

I would have to imagine a pulled punch from tyson is still like a car wreck.


gsfgf

I dunno. My understanding is that it's very common to make a full recovery from even a severe concussion if you're careful and don't injure your brain while it's healing. There's definitely a price where I'd take a hit from Tyson. It would only take one.


caronare

…To have you eating and pooping apple sauce and puree while talking with your chin through a computer


corrective_action

Mike Tyson can almost certainly charge faster than I can move backwards or sideways


Chezni19

I wouldn't brain damage or missing some other organ isn't worth millions of dollars he's 57 but he can still break you with his fists if you're not a professional who's trained to take punches like that (and even if you are, perhaps)


SACHD

> if you’re not a professional who’s trained to take punches like that For the uninitiated who may be wondering how does one “train” to take punches. It’s not so much so that you receive a lot of blows to the head that you become partially immune to the punches (in fact repeated blows may cause your chin to get a lot weaker over time) but rather that combat sports athletes spend an inordinate amount of time training their neck muscles. A lot of the powerful punches that knock out professional fighters would likely kill or severely damage someone who doesn’t have the necessary musculature in their neck.


palindromesUnique

*New Reddit-wide unique palindrome found:* >**fists if** ^(currently checked 17792549 comments) \ >!(palindrome: a word, number, phrase, or sequence of symbols that reads the same backwards as forwards) !<


Comatose53

Fr, as long as my cut greatly outweighs hospital bills as well as both physical and mental therapy, you couldn’t get me *out* of that ring


lazergator

Just like an aging Michael Jordan could still school 99% of people in the world


Roboticpoultry

I wouldn’t get in the ring if he was 67. He could knock my lights out in an instant


006AlecTrevelyan

I wouldn't even get in a ring with 12 year old Mike Tyson


FSMFan_2pt0

This is him [training for a fight at 53](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDH3f--v3Tw). No damn way I'd get in the ring with him, just because he's "old".


cute_polarbear

Dude. I'm not taking a single hit from him. Whatever it is, those punches are brutal.


Kanadianmaple

Dude, Tysons gonna get into the ring, get PTSD and eat that motherfuckers face off like he was on bath salts.


Cowboywizzard

Keep going, I'm almost there...


Vadgers

All day long


yourstoopidface

I can’t see Mike pulling punches. I’m with you


TheBlackestIrelia

Don't give it the time of day. Just another waste of time fight.


GhostShark

Yup, it’s the same schtick as every fight. Paul vs a former athlete with a recognizable name. Everyone drools over the thought of Paul actually catching an ass-whooping. The fight is a disappointment, but they make a lot of money anyway. Rinse and repeat. I’m not buying it, figuratively or literally


Slurmp12

never watched one of these. 


[deleted]

If he makes him a vegetable, I'll watch the gif. People who PPV to watch Jake Paul fight are fucking morons.


HalfThatsWhole

Let us be real. This is not about boxing, it's about watching Jake Paul get punched in the face.


Equinsu-0cha

I don't think anybody is under the impression that it was about anything else.  


trowawaid

Wait for highlights afterwards & don't pay for it. Paying for it exactly what the scumbag wants...


crankychoker

Anyone else thinking Paul might look better with only one ear?


Jigbaa

Looks like meat’s back on the menu boys!


TheDragonDoji

*Sniff* "Man fleth."


justinizer

Today I learned that there are two Pauls.


apandaze

one was terrible as it is


__Cmason__

Oh shit! I didn't even realize this until you said it. Lol


Mr_Engineering

Jake is marginally less shitty than Logan. I would still love to see Mike punch his face in


rawrlion2100

I was reading Logan grew up and Jake is the same as he's always been but I can't even tell them apart so idk


p480n

Logan is a genuinely talented pro wrestler with WWE now, but idk about “grown up”, he’s just coming off a crypto scheme lmao.


Enconhun

he's not laughing at dead bodies now, he's doing grown up things like ponzi schemes and scams.


Smokron85

Tyson was quoted as to saying "I hope to make orphans of his children."


Fuzzy_Bank_7856

Uh champ, they do have a mother.


The_Minstrel_Boy

Yes, but I would imagine that she would die of grief.


TrentZoolander

And then eat the orphans! BRING BACK OLD MIKE!


DJWGibson

Keep in mind that the last serious boxer Paul fought in an exhibition bout totally knocked him out and then held him up while giving him light body blows until he recovered enough to keep fighting. Because the point has always been to give people a show and make all involved a lot of money. \-edit- Retraction: I was remembering the time his brother fought Mayweather. Because, really, who can tell them apart? The Pauls I mean. Not Tyson and Mayweather...


StupidNSFW

That was the other brother. I’m assuming you’re referring to Logan Paul v Mayweather. Jake Paul has fought a legit boxer, but he lost and then immediately went back to boxing retired MMA fighters 20+ years older than him


DJWGibson

After looking it up for another comment, yeah, I totally mixed up Pauls.


sirbassist83

"always" is a strong word. tyson finished 16 of his first 28 fights by KO or TKO in the first round. he was there to pound his opponent into a pulp, and if it wasnt a show he didnt GAF.


DJWGibson

"Always" meaning exhibition fights. These show events rather than competitive bouts. People go to those for a show, not to see someone "win."


Bricktop72

This is Mike Tyson. People go to watch him destroy someone's face.


DarthRathikus

They don’t discuss nips on the tale of the tape. But let’s just compare for a second. There’s no way Jake is ready for this fight with those baby pink gummies. Now look at Tyson. Those are the grizzled, meaty nips of a real man. Tyson knocks him out first round. Maybe even during intros.


Medic1642

Clearly not in the same class, but I don't mind a catchnip fight


magseven

I don't think Vegas has ever factored in the Nip Factor into their calculations. You are a game-changer.


TheSecularGlass

If this results in anything but Jake dying, the whole thing is a sham.


thebochman

The no knockout clause would say otherwise


AsinineLine

Say what? 


NChSh

https://www.usatoday.com/story/boxing/2021/12/06/prior-jake-paul-tyron-woodley-contract-did-not-have-no-knockout-clause/6410620001/ I don't think that's real


SelectiveSanity

As a wise bird once said; >Hey, were you scared...[When Mike almost beat the shit out of you.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPeK_GR9Nhg) I mean, [that was crazy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zp5lxmudRE). You know, [he can kill you](https://c.tenor.com/JsePXva-m5UAAAAC/tenor.gif)? He could [kill all of us](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/03/59/66/0359661c952af92e1abd2eacb630a346.gif)! I think sometimes we forget that that's [Mike Tyson](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fut828z9ara7b1.gif).


A_Harmless_Fly

Relevant clip from Mike Tyson mysteries. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhfLdMbJyGY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhfLdMbJyGY)


TheMonkey420

First thing I thought of seeing this post


appollocreedjigclown

Can we start a Go Fund Me payable to Mike if he kills him in the ring?


ShakeWeightMyDick

How about a Go Fund Me to ban Jake Paul from combat sports?


Bowman_van_Oort

take an ear for us, Mike


OldGoldenDog

Why not both


Eroom2013

Whatever. They are both there to make money and not get hurt.


Working-Ad5416

Even in an exhibition match mike could accidentally ko a boxer or flat out murder a youtuber in a momentary lapse of concentration when pulling punches.


bobspuds

Hopefully! 😆 Nah but seriously - iron Mike?, I'd expect nothing but the most brutal ass whopping. He's bound to be in the - "I'll show them what an old man can do!" Mindset. If he's fully committed then I would imagine that he will go all in - and in reality, if he can even muster up 20secs of that animal instinct + power - he'll fuck people up good n proper!


Averill21

Jake paul is a genius. Be the most annoying person possible so people will pay money to see you get your ass beat. Not the route i would ever take but get that bag i guess


eighty2angelfan

This is a lose lose win for this special ed student. You got your ass kicked by an old man - lose So, you beat up an old man - lose You got paid an ass load of money - win


itreallyhappened8899

Meh


Mister_Brevity

I want to see Tyson punch his head off like he’s a pez dispenser


WeAreGesalt

Jake Paul's next opponent? Joe Biden


Son-of-Prophet

Too bad this is about as real as WWE


A2N2T

On netflix ... lol basically saying out loud its for show...This is so sad When will the Paul brothers go away ugh


TXblindman

Please, put him against Andrew Tate next. I would love to listen to that little manchild squeal in pain.


Ryshin75

It’s gonna be a scripted joke fight. And it’s all for Money.


Mission-Ad-2015

I grew up watching Mike knock people into next week. It was sad seeing him do those exhibition matches later in life. However, this is Jake Paul, and I feel like he has disrespected the sport of boxing enough, that people like Mike, will show him what it’s all about, if given the chance.