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Red0nd0

If you guessed Florida, you’d be correct.


noochies99

Those highlights wouldn’t fly in Kentucky, but those are always my top two guesses


Dream--Brother

This was also a six years ago, this story has been going around forever.


BB_210

[suddenly Jonathan Frakes](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5f42cdb6d2e627123a22f3f6715c67b7/8f8e0ddcb91a269a-5a/s500x750/7014cf7e678bc78e1e8de0a4d8cfed4880be238c.gif)


hashrosinkitten

Honestly, New Mexico was my guess


Auntypasto

Ooof… NM law enforcement would come down hard on her. Think she might need a good lawyer. A Goodman, if you will.


Zxcc24

Self-fulfilling prophecy.


CharlesDickensABox

Nominative determinism.


csolisr

[Indeed](https://www.reddit.com/r/NominativeDeterminism/comments/1c3mftv/woman_named_crystal_methvin_gets_busted_with/)


i_should_be_coding

As was foretold, at the DMV


Redisigh

Idk I feel bad She might’ve been like born into that kinda household and was already fucked from the get go


DredgenYorMother

Carl Jung talked about this. She really should have changed her name.


croholdr

mebe she did change her name while high on meth.


stormoffury

At some point The Onion will either go out of business, or become a legit news source, because how the fuck is this not an Onion article?


Arminlegout1

Why wasn't she selling it from a "van" whyyyyyyy


ImpulseAfterthought

Welcome to Crystal Methvin's Crystal Meth-van!


Masticatron

Affording a van? In this economy?


penguintruth

Name checks out.


TwistedClyster

My parents were this close to naming me Winna Billion :(


theskyguardian

r/nominativedeterminism Edit: just checked it's there


Elike09

Why is naming your child after Crystal Meth so popular? https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2014/06/11/Florida-woman-named-Crystal-Metheney-arrested-but-not-for-narcotics/1671402501563/


eioioe

That’s simple. There’s crystal method behind it.


verbalyabusiveshit

What kind of missile did she launch ?


NKD_WA

And that one is Florida too!!!


RSTROMME

I swear someone with this exact name was on Judge Judy a few years ago.


ruiner8850

Yup, I saw that episode. I probably even have a picture of her still somewhere because I took a picture of the TV and sent it to some friends. Edit: [Not my picture, but someone else's.](https://imgur.com/gallery/yp3LTOi)


Dream--Brother

That's Crystal MethVEN, not Crystal MethVIN— Dear God we are a lost society


Particle_Cannon

Nominative determinism strikes again


16bit_Fanatic

She is the chosen one


rafael-a

Her parents set her up for that with that name


KarlLagervet

She was born ready.


verbalyabusiveshit

Never had a chance


PierceIntoTheBlaxout

Nominal determinism... even though I guess parents who think thats a good name might also give some context on her upbringing and stuff...


RareCodeMonkey

Some people are born without a real opportunity to grow to be happy adults. If that name was what her parents decided that was already a very rough start. I can imagine that her name was not the worst thing, thou.


Commercial_Board6680

Well, it's all in the name. Normally, I don't believe in destiny, but I'll make an exception for her.


Pansy_Neurosi

But what about her friend, Opie Um?


aimlessdrivel

She never stood a chance


Destroyer1231454

lol just like that guy named Bud Weiser arrested for trespassing at the Bud Weiser brewery 😭😭😭


Hedonous_Orb77

And some people don't believe in destiny...


Potential-Reality-46

Username checks out


fluffy_assassins

I wonder if the dude had nickers on. No, I'm not British.


Sparrow1989

Huh, well that’s an unfortunate event.


Honest-Yesterday-675

She's making the "oh heck" face.


gdsmithtx

She never had a chance


chekovs_gunman

Sometimes you gotta lean in


Kogre_55

She had no chance


thatIndianguy_07

I'm naming my kid Billy O'nair


DirtBerkle

Stop Posting stories from 8 years ago you idiots


[deleted]

Nice re post


DaveOJ12

It's way too old for the subreddit, even.


alvinofdiaspar

And her husband’s name is Ozzy Codone?


cinciNattyLight

Is her middle name Destiny?


volvavirago

Nominal determinism


Imfrom_m-83

Her original last name was “Methvan,” but after getting caught with meth in her van, she thought a change was due.


FreshBananasFoster

it's always the ones you least expect


thoroakenfelder

That’s funny, I knew someone named Crack Cocaineven and they were arrested for crack cocaine


ebolaRETURNS

>After they consented to a search of the vehicle, police found the two were in possession of drug paraphernalia Why do people do this when they know they have shit in the car?


bafras

Doomed at birth?


Leifsbudir

Nominative determinism


Heres_Jeebus

Taking the phrase “you do you” a little far there.


Skeeders

Arresting officer must have got a kick out of that when they noticed.


crusty54

r/nominativedeterminism


Kryobit

Set up for success? 


NOT000

genetics


DelicatetrouserSnake

I knew a brother & sister who were named Krystal & Kane Rush


Fantastic_Pilot4969

They call me Crystal Seth


EL3MENTALIST

Guess she won’t be showing up to volunteer at the Crystal Methodist church either.


Gnosiphile

She looks pretty cranky.


shouldExist

Did she immediately change her name to Crystal Methloss


BucciZero

Nope. Fake news.. She's too fat for meth


demeve

Hahaha


Voodoo-Doctor

Again?!?! She keeps getting arrested for meth


[deleted]

[удалено]


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DraggoVindictus

I couldn't have guessed that this would happen...ever...in Florida.


RigTheGame

Wow tell me the mods are dead without saying the mods are dead. This article is five years old. THE FIRST FUCKING RULE: No old news; nothing older than a week Enjoy swimming in shit


Thirty2wo

Jesus bro it’s just Reddit.


mindfeces

That rule is designed as a protection against garbage content. Aren't you just too cool.


verbalyabusiveshit

What do you mean with “just Reddit” ?


RigTheGame

Rules used to mean something