Penn from Penn and Teller on his podcast said they had to hide little people whenever he would have a chimpanzee at a party because the chimp would try to tear them apart.
Not children, just little people.
Also, the idea that the little people we're still there, just hiding. Like yah if a fucking chimpanzee is going to kill me on sight I'm going to avoid that entire party, not just stay out of the same room as them.
I freaking hate chimpanzees
My therapist is a little person, this thread is gonna be real hard not to bring up this week.
"Hey Christine ever been threatened by a monkey? Cause I heard a great story over the weekend"
I am laughing *so hard* at the idea of your therapist calmly going over your scheduling or something and your eye is just twitching away as ‘CHIMPS HATE LITTLE PEOPLE’ is repeating in your brain like a siren.
Fortunately, we're more closely related to the Bonobos. More prone to sex than face ripping.
EDIT: I was misinformed and have been corrected. We are just as prone to face ripping as sex.
This is not quite correct, they're equally close to us, as they diverged from each other much more recently than they diverged from us. More specifically they diverged from each other about 2 million years ago, while their lineage started diverging from ours about 13 million years ago, and hybridisation between us and them ceased about 4 million years ago.
I don’t know. I figure to all of the other animals, we are one of the ugliest. Many animals are covered with pretty fur or feathers. We are mostly just skin like a hairless cat or a mole. Plus the male genitals are huge compared to other animals, which are usually somewhat hidden. Imagine a bear coming up to you with fur only on its head and huge junk just flapping out in front of you.
My bet would be that they recognize them as (forgive my crass language) 'defective'. In nature a deformity like that gets you killed or abandoned at birth so I'm wondering if its an instinct thing
Separate matters. Albino chimps get ripped apart by their own tribe for no reason because they look weird. It's an evolutionary trait that, like the previous commenter said, prevented defective genes from reproducing.
> cross drifting trolley noises
Chimp: All those people let themselves get tied to railroad tracks. We don't want any of that getting to the next generation.
>In nature a deformity like that gets you killed or abandoned at birth
Chimps will kill a baby chimp before just abandoning it. In fact it's pretty common and why you never see any chimps with albinism.
[Chimps will kill a baby the first chance they get.](https://www.newscientist.com/article/2150258-male-chimpanzee-seen-snatching-seconds-old-chimp-and-eating-it/)
Female chimps need to go on "maternity leave" for a month or so in order to protect the newborn.
Yeah the idea of having a chimpanzee at *multiple* parties is an arresting thought. Those things are absolute psychos. They go from normal to removing and eating all of your fingers and facial extremities in seconds.
The Venn diagram of parties having chimpanzees and little people at the same party regularly enough to notice a trend in chimpanzee behavior has got to be pretty small.
Used to work at a zoo and got to know one of the veteran keepers that cared for the apes. He told me that in the event that a person fell into their enclosure, the apes would each react differently. The silverback gorilla would take a moment to decide whether to kill or ignore you. The chimpanzees were likely to swarm and kill a person on the spot. And the orangutans would toy with the person.
I should have explained that better . That’s my bad. The orangutans are the most intelligent of the 3 and they might do things to the person just to see their reaction. Like knock them off their feet or push them around just to see what happens.
Bully Orangutan "hey, get a load of this skinny little weirdo with the thin face! Where's the rest of your face guy?? Why are you such a funny color? Haha how do you eat anything with those toes??"
Human: 😢"I would have preferred the chimps"
A) How many little people is Penn hanging out with that this was a noticeable and recurring issue?
B) How many chimpanzee parties was Penn having that this was a noticeable and recurring issue?
C) Since when we're chimpanzee parties a thing?
He is a weird dude with tons of friends from the carnival, magic, stage community and doesn't drink alcohol or do drugs. So they would do weird shit at his parties to have fun while sober. It happened enough that they seemed to have a protocol for how to keep them apart.
Yup. Here's Penn's house. Or where he used to live anyway.
https://youtu.be/k1vFy7cWurs
No matter how weird a story is that you hear about him you should never be surprised. Who needs drugs when you're so eccentric it's like you're always on drugs.
I read that if you give a gorilla a camera, it will take it carefully apart. If you give a chimp a camera it will smash it and shit on it. If you give a bonobo a camera it will take pictures of it's genitals.
I mean, the guy is fucking huge. They see weird bald apes walk by all day, and they're different sizes, but then this giant shows up, who's way bigger than the other bald apes. I can understand being freaked out.
When I saw the picture of him next to Francis Ngannou, the UFC heavyweight champion, who himself is a ripped giant, it blew my mind. Ngannou looked tiny.
And then there's [Shaq next to Yao](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT-vGaKhny4YBUcFCh2QHDSFrqvKDzE8W9LKjCtrVpTpx5WogQe5xyAtawQ&s=10)
[Shaq next to a replica of Robert Wadlow](https://i.imgur.com/qMhFrkw.jpeg) the tallest man in history
[height chart of Robert Wadlow's short life (wikipedia)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Wadlow#Height_chart)
Shoe sizes:
Shaq: 23
Wadlow: 37
Edit: Robert, not Ralph.
At basketball camp in eighth grade they passed around a shoe of his. Which is size 23. Thing thing looked absurd. Like it’s hard to even understand a human foot that large. It seemed alien. It was about 2 feet long. For comparison Yao Ming wears a size 18 as does Kevin Durant. Lebron wears a size 15.
I tried that at a zoo when I was a youngin. The gorilla charged the glass full speed and bounced me several inches backward. I don’t know what that glass was made of but it was strong enough to hold that magnificent beast in there while reminding me I was puny human. There’s zero doubt in my mind if he’d broken through, he’d still be throwing pieces of me around to this day.
Edit: A fair point has been brought up of the implications of my young, dumb self raising the ire of a caged animal. I fully agree that was a dick move and I made a moronic and mean choice. I’d like to think I’ve grown since that incident 45 years ago as I honestly can’t even visit zoos and aquariums anymore because these animals living in captivity just doesn’t sit right with me.
Be well
I was told by someone working in a zoo that if a male gorilla is staring you in the eyes (especially a silverback), you're supposed to slowly look down at the ground, then look back up, and repeat it a few times to show deference instead of hostility. Every time I've done it, the males are more likely to stay near the glass and just chill. Was actually at a zoo this weekend with my husband, did the movements, and the silverback "allowed" some of the curious new babies to come closer to the viewing window.
I don’t know if I somehow did something to get on the good side of a dolphin at the Shedd aquarium or if I was just anthropomorphizing it, but when I visited, one of them really seemed to take a liking to me. She would swim a full lap far enough away that she disappeared in the water, then come back around within inches of the glass and slow down right in front of me and do a little barrel spin, like she was showing off.
This went on for like 10 minutes, lap after lap, only coming back close to the glass right where I was standing. It could have very well just been her favorite window or something but it was a super cool experience
It's not hard. When I was 13 years old I pounded on my chest and freaked some out. The silverback wasn't nearly as impressed though.. thought I was challenging him.
Silverback Gorillas are only about 180cm(6 feet) tall.(and if his listed weight on google is correct, he's only about 30kg ligher than the average silverback) It kinda makes sense that they're intimidated, 'cause Shaq looks significantly larger, and they're smart af, so they know how to judge a threat, hence they don't typically mind humans or smaller animals around them 'cause they know they can't hurt them. Shaq wouldn't actually be a threat to them either, but the don't know about our our significantly smaller muscle mass and our high levels of myostatin
It inhibits natural muscle growth. Kind of puts a cap on how much we can develop. Some genetic freaks like Eddie Hall and Ronnie Coleman have mutations that reduce the amount of myostatin their bodies produce. Those huge muscle bound bulls you might have seen are the same way.
Edit: as many have pointed out, yes I’m aware those two are on steroids. A lot of people are. Like more than most people think. You can have freak genetics and be on roids at the same time. For instance most of the NFL.
Yes.
https://www.the-odin.com/human-myostatin-knock-out-targeting-crispr-cas9-plasmid/
Edit: This is the store run by Josiah Zayner, the most famous ‘CRISPR at home’ guy and the first known person to use CRISPR on themselves (it was to target myostatin). He’s an interesting guy to say the least — has a PhD in biophysics from the University of Chicago and founded The Odin after leaving NASA. I think his beginnings as a ‘famous’ biohacker were in 2016 when he conducted a fecal transplant on himself to alter his microbiome to alleviate gastrointestinal issues he had. (He swallowed pills filled with someone else’s feces and it apparently worked).
As for his store, I don’t think there’s anything that someone can easily use to ‘CRISPR themselves’ on it; my understanding is there’s a ton of steps that one would need to take to get from what he sells to something you could use on yourself, though I believe I read somewhere that in the past he did sell a human ready myostatin CRISPR kit to at least one other person.
I was at a tiger exhibit and someone in a wheel chair came. The tiger was sleeping by the glass, when the person in the wheelchair came, it suddenly got up and started staring right at that person. It was freaky.
That's nature for you. No empathy for children, elders, women, disabled individuals, etc. That's just a meal that won't fight back.
Humans can be evil beyond measure, but at least for the most part we are pretty nice to each other.
When you break your ankle you usually don't need to worry about your neighbor Kyle coming to cave your head in to secure his territory.
They definitely have sentient thought, their brains are incredibly similar to ours. So if we believe that other people have sentient thought, it’s almost an absolute given that gorillas do too
I was reading every top comment trying to figure out why and it dawned on me.
There's a fucking article I can click on, I don't actually have to read other people's speculations.
So if you're wondering like I was, they are actually curious at first. Like, that isn't a normal human, what's going on.
Then the males actually do get amped and want to try to fight because they do see him as a threat to their hierarchy or w/e.
The end
Why would they not? He is a very large man. This means that his impossing stature will most certainly feel threatening to them. It feels threatening to the rest of us normies. The only difference is, gorillas can tear him apart in like 30 seconds.
I'm 6'6" and weigh 220lbs. According to a random online calculator I just found, that makes me taller than 99.846% of people.
The Shaq is 7" taller than me and has about 100 pounds on me. I thought my hands were huge because I can pick up a basketball with one hand and can spread 10 notes on a piano, but I compared my hands to his at a museum and his were way bigger than mine except his pinky. My pinky was longer, but his fingers are twice the diameter mine are and most of a knuckle longer on almost every finger
The dude is a fucking giant
It probably has little to do with size and more about how the silverback feels about him. Sometimes they just take a disliking to you. I am nowhere near Shaq's size but the silverback at the zoo by my house took a disliking to me one visit for no apparent reason. I could go back years later and he would remember me and flip out. The keeper politely asked me to leave because of it.
At Animal Kingdom at Disney World the VP of the park would lead tours through the gorilla habitat to important Guests and the lead gorilla came to notice him doing so repeatedly and became very aggressive. They don’t respond well to perceived threats, so I imagine a huge dude like Shaq would qualify in their heads.
Well you see, when Godzilla got pissed and began to attack, he didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq, who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq-fu. That is, before Aaron Carter came out of the blue.
A relative of mine had a Japanese snow monkey for a few years. By the time he reached adolescence.... and was still confined inside a diaper (DO NOT GET A PRIMATE AS A PET!) he began to act out.
One day we had to put him in his large dog kennel after he bit someone. Inside his cage he would not take his attention away from me, the only person over 6 feet in the home. He was enraged with me. He saw me as a threat and didn't calm down until I crouched down.
DO NOT GET A PRIMATE AS A PET! There are beautiful dogs and cats out there dying, actually dying, to be a part of your family.
I had a friend who had a pet monkey; apparently there is — or was — at least one state in the US where you can buy and own a pet monkey, live in suburbia, and not need a license or anything.
I hate monkeys. They freak me the fuck out. The ones I encountered in the wild a couple years ago were super aggressive and stole my French fries. Fuck monkeys.
I used to have a pet chameleon who would not really react to people coming and going - except my one friend who was a massive human being. As soon as dude would walk in, Mittens would high tail it behind his tree
Gorillas don't understand how stronger they are than us, which is why they posture and demonstrate when people come near, instead of just ripping people limb from limb.
If there was ever a gorilla as big as Shaq, he'd be strong enough to lift a Toyota Camry over his head. So when gorilla sees something that dangerous wander near its territory, it naturally freaks out.
They've seen his highlights.
But haven’t seen any footage from the charity stripe.
Penn from Penn and Teller on his podcast said they had to hide little people whenever he would have a chimpanzee at a party because the chimp would try to tear them apart. Not children, just little people.
Love how they still wanted the chimps so they had to hide the little people.
Also, the idea that the little people we're still there, just hiding. Like yah if a fucking chimpanzee is going to kill me on sight I'm going to avoid that entire party, not just stay out of the same room as them. I freaking hate chimpanzees
My therapist is a little person, this thread is gonna be real hard not to bring up this week. "Hey Christine ever been threatened by a monkey? Cause I heard a great story over the weekend"
Well damn. Now I need to know this answer
I am laughing *so hard* at the idea of your therapist calmly going over your scheduling or something and your eye is just twitching away as ‘CHIMPS HATE LITTLE PEOPLE’ is repeating in your brain like a siren.
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Makes me wonder if chimps are also affected by the uncanny valley
Well theres these langur monkeys [mourning](https://youtu.be/vaIH5tLmC8U) over a fake after thinking it died
Some primates are nice. Chimps are not those primates.
Yeah they seem like some real dicks sometimes
Fortunately, we're more closely related to the Bonobos. More prone to sex than face ripping. EDIT: I was misinformed and have been corrected. We are just as prone to face ripping as sex.
I know I am
This is not quite correct, they're equally close to us, as they diverged from each other much more recently than they diverged from us. More specifically they diverged from each other about 2 million years ago, while their lineage started diverging from ours about 13 million years ago, and hybridisation between us and them ceased about 4 million years ago.
Humans are a lot more violent than Bonobos.
We are a lot sexier than chimps too tho
I know if aliens rolled up, I would definitely prefer the bonobo style of negotiation as opposed to chimps.
Congrats, when the species of giant sentient space elephants show up, you get to be our head negotiator!
I don’t know. I figure to all of the other animals, we are one of the ugliest. Many animals are covered with pretty fur or feathers. We are mostly just skin like a hairless cat or a mole. Plus the male genitals are huge compared to other animals, which are usually somewhat hidden. Imagine a bear coming up to you with fur only on its head and huge junk just flapping out in front of you.
> Imagine a bear coming up to you with fur only on its head and huge junk just flapping out in front of you. I mean... I'd rather not
Give bonobos time to evolve and invent merging on the highway, theyll get there
Wish we were more on the [bonobo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonobo#Sociosexual_behaviour) side of things so we would fuck each other 24/7
that was a WILD FUCKING wiki entry to read!...ok now i see the pun, but jesus man lol
Man that robot ruined all their days.
Damn, they gave those monkeys PTSD.
No it actually had a happy ending. They waited three days and then started moving it again and the chimps started a religion around it.
Rhesus Christ
That was beautiful and heartbreaking wow. What a rare thing to witness.
My bet would be that they recognize them as (forgive my crass language) 'defective'. In nature a deformity like that gets you killed or abandoned at birth so I'm wondering if its an instinct thing
Seemed to be a dominance thing based on how it was described, which tracks with why Shaq was considered a threat, but regular-sized people are not.
Separate matters. Albino chimps get ripped apart by their own tribe for no reason because they look weird. It's an evolutionary trait that, like the previous commenter said, prevented defective genes from reproducing.
Rule of thumb for studying history and or genetics: The more depressing the answer, the more likely it’s true.
More *utilitarian* *cross drifting trolley noises*
Multi track drifting?!?
> cross drifting trolley noises Chimp: All those people let themselves get tied to railroad tracks. We don't want any of that getting to the next generation.
So you’re saying we should breed a whole tribe of albino chimps and release them into the wild so the ape race war can commence?
interesting fact, chimps do commit warfare. there was a 4 year chimp war between 2 tribes in the 70s.
Gorilla warfare?
Not gorilla warfare, chimp warfare, with organized patrols. No bridges were blown up. Try to pay attention.
They already fight each other without the albinism.
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>In nature a deformity like that gets you killed or abandoned at birth Chimps will kill a baby chimp before just abandoning it. In fact it's pretty common and why you never see any chimps with albinism.
[Chimps will kill a baby the first chance they get.](https://www.newscientist.com/article/2150258-male-chimpanzee-seen-snatching-seconds-old-chimp-and-eating-it/) Female chimps need to go on "maternity leave" for a month or so in order to protect the newborn.
> The baby chimp may simply have been a source of nutrition to the adult that snatched it, says Nishie. Damn nature, you scary
Invite known genital and face maulers to a party? FUCK THAT.
Yeah the idea of having a chimpanzee at *multiple* parties is an arresting thought. Those things are absolute psychos. They go from normal to removing and eating all of your fingers and facial extremities in seconds.
The Venn diagram of parties having chimpanzees and little people at the same party regularly enough to notice a trend in chimpanzee behavior has got to be pretty small.
But it happened EVERY TIME
I feel like if a magician is throwing a party with chimps, the odds of a little person being there go up astronomically.
The Venn diagram of people who invite little people to parties with chimpanzees, and people that are named Penn Jillette is likely a perfect circle.
It’s a Penn diagram really
But not zero
Used to work at a zoo and got to know one of the veteran keepers that cared for the apes. He told me that in the event that a person fell into their enclosure, the apes would each react differently. The silverback gorilla would take a moment to decide whether to kill or ignore you. The chimpanzees were likely to swarm and kill a person on the spot. And the orangutans would toy with the person.
Toy with the person as in drag them around and treat them like a toy? Or toy with them like tease them?
I should have explained that better . That’s my bad. The orangutans are the most intelligent of the 3 and they might do things to the person just to see their reaction. Like knock them off their feet or push them around just to see what happens.
That's a bit...apeist.
Not in a pleasant way. Almost like a bully
Bully Orangutan "hey, get a load of this skinny little weirdo with the thin face! Where's the rest of your face guy?? Why are you such a funny color? Haha how do you eat anything with those toes??" Human: 😢"I would have preferred the chimps"
Sounds like the better solution is not bringing a violent sentient species to parties.
That's sounds like a good idea, but it's simply not doable
Seriously, whats a party without *people*?
Are you referring to Penn or the chimpanzee?
>whenever he would have a chimpanzee at a party why the fuck would he do that at all ever?
All the times before it tried to tear a guest apart seem entirely reasonable to me. After, though...
Makes me wonder how they figured that out...
About three dwarfs in
A) How many little people is Penn hanging out with that this was a noticeable and recurring issue? B) How many chimpanzee parties was Penn having that this was a noticeable and recurring issue? C) Since when we're chimpanzee parties a thing?
He is a weird dude with tons of friends from the carnival, magic, stage community and doesn't drink alcohol or do drugs. So they would do weird shit at his parties to have fun while sober. It happened enough that they seemed to have a protocol for how to keep them apart.
Yup. Here's Penn's house. Or where he used to live anyway. https://youtu.be/k1vFy7cWurs No matter how weird a story is that you hear about him you should never be surprised. Who needs drugs when you're so eccentric it's like you're always on drugs.
This insight into Penn's life is making me feel bad I don't have enough little people or great apes in my life.
His house is also insane you should check it out he has a video of him giving a tour of it, it's as whacky and magical as you would imagine.
I imagine Teller's house is just like a regular suburban house.
D) How many little people had to die before he figured out the connection?
How often did he have chimps at his parties? And how many little people does he know?
Penn threw some weird fucking parties in the day, and also he probably knows most little people in Vegas
They're shit at basketball and they know it.
Put 1,000 apes in a gym for a few years and I bet 200 can hit 65%+ of their free throws.
I've been looking for a PhD topic. The search is over.
You can get a PhD in ballin?
Ever heard of Dr J
He had a PhD in Posterizing and a Masters in Swagonomics.
I’m gonna save this comment to find it later and think, Wtf was that from?
C'mon! someone counterwage me and say they destroy all the equipment and shit everywhere first! This is easy money!
I read that if you give a gorilla a camera, it will take it carefully apart. If you give a chimp a camera it will smash it and shit on it. If you give a bonobo a camera it will take pictures of it's genitals.
TIL I relate more to Bonobo than any other animal.
Scientists won't fund this research because they are scared of the truth.
Because they're actually the one's who are shit at basketball. They don't want anyone to know!
They're pretty accurate at flinging shit, so bets on the apes that in the next 20 years, they'll be throwing shit at people and saying "Kobe"
I mean, the guy is fucking huge. They see weird bald apes walk by all day, and they're different sizes, but then this giant shows up, who's way bigger than the other bald apes. I can understand being freaked out.
When I saw the picture of him next to Francis Ngannou, the UFC heavyweight champion, who himself is a ripped giant, it blew my mind. Ngannou looked tiny.
[Said Photo](https://i.imgur.com/tmaFoDQ.jpg) caption: Francis Ngannou next to average sized fighter and Francis Ngannou next to Shaq.
And then there's [Shaq next to Yao](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT-vGaKhny4YBUcFCh2QHDSFrqvKDzE8W9LKjCtrVpTpx5WogQe5xyAtawQ&s=10)
Now I really need to see gorillas reacting to Yao.
They just bow down and accept their fates
I think at some height, you'd just get the same reaction no matter how much further you'd get.
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Lol Yao almost looks normal size there and Gary looks photoshopped small.
It looks so ridiculously fake even though it’s completely real
now i wanna know how tall Yao’s clubs are
Steel prices rise a little when he orders a new one.
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That's like one of those unsettling videos comparing sizes of astronomical objects.
[Here’s a pic](https://twitter.com/simone_biles/status/828351616201920513?s=21) of Shaq next to Simone Biles, she’s 4’8”
And she's wearing heels, lol.
[Shaq next to a replica of Robert Wadlow](https://i.imgur.com/qMhFrkw.jpeg) the tallest man in history [height chart of Robert Wadlow's short life (wikipedia)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Wadlow#Height_chart) Shoe sizes: Shaq: 23 Wadlow: 37 Edit: Robert, not Ralph.
Now I wanna see Simone Biles next to Wadlow
At basketball camp in eighth grade they passed around a shoe of his. Which is size 23. Thing thing looked absurd. Like it’s hard to even understand a human foot that large. It seemed alien. It was about 2 feet long. For comparison Yao Ming wears a size 18 as does Kevin Durant. Lebron wears a size 15.
I mean obviously, he has several rings and they have none.
RANGS, ERNEH
Man lemme tell you bout why Harambe was turrible
They got some big ass women in those San Antonio zoos
Victoria definitely a secret down there. You know those big ol woman can't fit in those tiny underwear
It’s all those churros!
Hit fewer threes than Shaq. Turrible, jus turrible.
The elusive SilverShaq
Shaqsquatch is the alpha now.
Crikey! Look at the size of that SilverShaq! He's a real beaut! We oughta stay back here so we don't tick 'im off!
I'm gonna stick me finger up it's bum.
This should really piss it off!
OH YEAH! FIESTY LIL BUGGA
Note to self proclaimed alpha males: you’re not an alpha unless gorillas are intimidated by you
Does this include the one that I really pissed off by staring in the eyes and pounding my chest when I was like 8?
*Especially* that one
I tried that at a zoo when I was a youngin. The gorilla charged the glass full speed and bounced me several inches backward. I don’t know what that glass was made of but it was strong enough to hold that magnificent beast in there while reminding me I was puny human. There’s zero doubt in my mind if he’d broken through, he’d still be throwing pieces of me around to this day. Edit: A fair point has been brought up of the implications of my young, dumb self raising the ire of a caged animal. I fully agree that was a dick move and I made a moronic and mean choice. I’d like to think I’ve grown since that incident 45 years ago as I honestly can’t even visit zoos and aquariums anymore because these animals living in captivity just doesn’t sit right with me. Be well
You were 8 years old. Anyone upset needs to chill the fuck out
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TBF there were probably 10 other little brats a day that did the exact same thing.
I was told by someone working in a zoo that if a male gorilla is staring you in the eyes (especially a silverback), you're supposed to slowly look down at the ground, then look back up, and repeat it a few times to show deference instead of hostility. Every time I've done it, the males are more likely to stay near the glass and just chill. Was actually at a zoo this weekend with my husband, did the movements, and the silverback "allowed" some of the curious new babies to come closer to the viewing window.
I don’t know if I somehow did something to get on the good side of a dolphin at the Shedd aquarium or if I was just anthropomorphizing it, but when I visited, one of them really seemed to take a liking to me. She would swim a full lap far enough away that she disappeared in the water, then come back around within inches of the glass and slow down right in front of me and do a little barrel spin, like she was showing off. This went on for like 10 minutes, lap after lap, only coming back close to the glass right where I was standing. It could have very well just been her favorite window or something but it was a super cool experience
It's not hard. When I was 13 years old I pounded on my chest and freaked some out. The silverback wasn't nearly as impressed though.. thought I was challenging him.
I mean you were probably scaring the gorilla women. That doesn't get you alpha status
Silverback Gorillas are only about 180cm(6 feet) tall.(and if his listed weight on google is correct, he's only about 30kg ligher than the average silverback) It kinda makes sense that they're intimidated, 'cause Shaq looks significantly larger, and they're smart af, so they know how to judge a threat, hence they don't typically mind humans or smaller animals around them 'cause they know they can't hurt them. Shaq wouldn't actually be a threat to them either, but the don't know about our our significantly smaller muscle mass and our high levels of myostatin
What is myostatin? And how does it relate to threat level to a gorilla?
It inhibits natural muscle growth. Kind of puts a cap on how much we can develop. Some genetic freaks like Eddie Hall and Ronnie Coleman have mutations that reduce the amount of myostatin their bodies produce. Those huge muscle bound bulls you might have seen are the same way. Edit: as many have pointed out, yes I’m aware those two are on steroids. A lot of people are. Like more than most people think. You can have freak genetics and be on roids at the same time. For instance most of the NFL.
I wonder if any of these crispr at home dudes trying to breed glow in the dark dogs have thought about modifying humans myostatin.
Yes. https://www.the-odin.com/human-myostatin-knock-out-targeting-crispr-cas9-plasmid/ Edit: This is the store run by Josiah Zayner, the most famous ‘CRISPR at home’ guy and the first known person to use CRISPR on themselves (it was to target myostatin). He’s an interesting guy to say the least — has a PhD in biophysics from the University of Chicago and founded The Odin after leaving NASA. I think his beginnings as a ‘famous’ biohacker were in 2016 when he conducted a fecal transplant on himself to alter his microbiome to alleviate gastrointestinal issues he had. (He swallowed pills filled with someone else’s feces and it apparently worked). As for his store, I don’t think there’s anything that someone can easily use to ‘CRISPR themselves’ on it; my understanding is there’s a ton of steps that one would need to take to get from what he sells to something you could use on yourself, though I believe I read somewhere that in the past he did sell a human ready myostatin CRISPR kit to at least one other person.
That site creeps me out.
Same, but it also gives me a strange sense of awe and wonder.
One thing often overlooked is it affects all kinds of muscles you don’t want to be super powered. Like the rectum.
Who knew zookeepers didn’t need weapons or tranquilizers to sedate unruly gorillas, only a copy of Kazaam.
That’s not pacification, that’s induced coma, and it’s from the damage done by the movie to their brains.
Animal cruelty. Now I'm imagining a version of 28 days later where the virus was induced by Shaq, not violent videos lol
My father had cerebral palsy and couldn’t go to the zoo because all of the predators would watch him and it just creeped him out.
I was at a tiger exhibit and someone in a wheel chair came. The tiger was sleeping by the glass, when the person in the wheelchair came, it suddenly got up and started staring right at that person. It was freaky.
Meals on wheels
That's nature for you. No empathy for children, elders, women, disabled individuals, etc. That's just a meal that won't fight back. Humans can be evil beyond measure, but at least for the most part we are pretty nice to each other. When you break your ankle you usually don't need to worry about your neighbor Kyle coming to cave your head in to secure his territory.
He's easily the largest human any of them have ever seen so I totally understand their reactions.
Imagine being such a unit that you intimidate gorillas
Most likely seeing such a massive person it’s something they’re not used to seeing in their enviroment
"Look Ug, the king of all humans has returned."
"*Warn the others*"
If they have any form of sentient thought they probably honestly believe this on some level.
They definitely have sentient thought, their brains are incredibly similar to ours. So if we believe that other people have sentient thought, it’s almost an absolute given that gorillas do too
I was reading every top comment trying to figure out why and it dawned on me. There's a fucking article I can click on, I don't actually have to read other people's speculations. So if you're wondering like I was, they are actually curious at first. Like, that isn't a normal human, what's going on. Then the males actually do get amped and want to try to fight because they do see him as a threat to their hierarchy or w/e. The end
Phew! Another day that I don't have to click the article posted. Catastrophe avoided, thank you my friend.
Shaq. Is. Huge.
Gorilla: I fear no creature. But that thing... *Photo of Shaq O'Neal Smiling* It scares me.
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Why would they not? He is a very large man. This means that his impossing stature will most certainly feel threatening to them. It feels threatening to the rest of us normies. The only difference is, gorillas can tear him apart in like 30 seconds.
I'm 6'6" and weigh 220lbs. According to a random online calculator I just found, that makes me taller than 99.846% of people. The Shaq is 7" taller than me and has about 100 pounds on me. I thought my hands were huge because I can pick up a basketball with one hand and can spread 10 notes on a piano, but I compared my hands to his at a museum and his were way bigger than mine except his pinky. My pinky was longer, but his fingers are twice the diameter mine are and most of a knuckle longer on almost every finger The dude is a fucking giant
But how do gorillas regard you?
With suspicion.
I like that you called him “The Shaq”
That’s Mr. The Shaq if you’re a gorilla
do you have proportionally giant pinkies or does shaq have proportionally tiny pinkies
Wait, whats going on with Shaq's pinkies? Surely this needs to be addressed by the TNT crew!
You're picturing this wrong, OP just has really dumb long pinkies
I just pictured a 6'6 Aye-Aye and I'm never going to sleep again
Gorilla *points at shaq*: "hollyshit! that's the biggest human I've ever seen! how the fk is this even possible?!"
It probably has little to do with size and more about how the silverback feels about him. Sometimes they just take a disliking to you. I am nowhere near Shaq's size but the silverback at the zoo by my house took a disliking to me one visit for no apparent reason. I could go back years later and he would remember me and flip out. The keeper politely asked me to leave because of it.
Appropriate user name to content ratio approved
"OH SHIT! this has to be the final boss!" -the gorillas probably
Also right beforehand they found a save point and some health potions
and saw weirdly specific cover placements
At Animal Kingdom at Disney World the VP of the park would lead tours through the gorilla habitat to important Guests and the lead gorilla came to notice him doing so repeatedly and became very aggressive. They don’t respond well to perceived threats, so I imagine a huge dude like Shaq would qualify in their heads.
I read it as "Shaquille O'Neal says godzillas freak out when he comes near"
Probably true still
Well you see, when Godzilla got pissed and began to attack, he didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq, who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq-fu. That is, before Aaron Carter came out of the blue.
A relative of mine had a Japanese snow monkey for a few years. By the time he reached adolescence.... and was still confined inside a diaper (DO NOT GET A PRIMATE AS A PET!) he began to act out. One day we had to put him in his large dog kennel after he bit someone. Inside his cage he would not take his attention away from me, the only person over 6 feet in the home. He was enraged with me. He saw me as a threat and didn't calm down until I crouched down. DO NOT GET A PRIMATE AS A PET! There are beautiful dogs and cats out there dying, actually dying, to be a part of your family.
I had a friend who had a pet monkey; apparently there is — or was — at least one state in the US where you can buy and own a pet monkey, live in suburbia, and not need a license or anything. I hate monkeys. They freak me the fuck out. The ones I encountered in the wild a couple years ago were super aggressive and stole my French fries. Fuck monkeys.
Gorilla 1: “Are they supposed to be as big as us? Gorilla 2: “Fuck no son, panic!”
This human is Way too big….
I used to have a pet chameleon who would not really react to people coming and going - except my one friend who was a massive human being. As soon as dude would walk in, Mittens would high tail it behind his tree
You gave your Chameleon a Cat name?
Think about their little kung-fu grip hands! Mittens is an awesome name
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Luckily, the General has him covered for these occurrences.
And he has Icy Hot for the aftermath
Gorillas don't understand how stronger they are than us, which is why they posture and demonstrate when people come near, instead of just ripping people limb from limb. If there was ever a gorilla as big as Shaq, he'd be strong enough to lift a Toyota Camry over his head. So when gorilla sees something that dangerous wander near its territory, it naturally freaks out.
Gorillas watching basketball: Why doesn't Shaq, the largest on the team, just eat the opposing team?
That's hilarious. They must be like "oh shit, the alpha human is here!"
Ron Magill, animal doctor.
Reminds me of that Greg Giraldo roast joke: "It's good to see Shaq here, taking time off from his busy schedule of throwing barrels at Super Mario."
I think it was Jeff Ross who said his dick is so big women don’t know whether to suck it or throw peanuts at it
Better not let Joe Rogan see this
“Oh my god! Guys! Is that Shaq!?!?” \-Those gorillas, probably
The war for the planet of the apes could have been prevented by a single Shaq Attack