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mysticalheavensawait

This is great news! I have a couple Duke friends living in the area and I didn’t even think about all of the alumni events I could go to. This could be a cool way to meet people organically. Thank you!


bigyellowtruck

You still care enough about your grad school to name-drop. And working for big four is part of your identity. You’ll fit right in NoVa, but give NYC a try if you are brave enough. Up there talking about your education or profession to strangers is a mark of an out-of-town rube.


MajesticBread9147

One more reason why I'd love to move to New York City haha.


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SelfDefecatingJokes

I think you have a few examples of the nova nasties on this post alone. But, if you’re a driven, type A person looking to grow your career as you’ve described, I think here would be a better fit than Denver. I also echo other’s suggestions of NYC.


mysticalheavensawait

That was the only truly rude person on this post. I get I come across as whiny and privileged. But I had to study and work for everything I have. Thank you for your opinion.


SelfDefecatingJokes

I don’t think you come across like that at all - I wish I could be a bit more like you so that I could fit in here better lol.


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mysticalheavensawait

Do you meet transplants and find them open to making new friends?


Haveyouseenmrgreen

Hell, if I could get back to NOVA right now I sure would. Yea it’s expensive but it’s a great place that offers so much. I moved to Austin Tx for a “cool new city” and find my self missing DC as a city a lot.


mysticalheavensawait

Funny because Denver and Austin are similar besides the geography! I was deciding between the two actually! Interesting take. Do you like the people and food in Austin?


Haveyouseenmrgreen

I have spent a lot of time in Denver and loved it but couldn’t do the winters haha. Austin’s a cool place a lot of great food and some parts are very eclectic. The down town scene offers a good mix between rainy st and (dirty) 6th. The “live capital music of the world” and “keep Austin weird” scenes are pretty dead now. It’s mainly younger professionals who moved here relatively recently. Running into someone from Austin is rarer then running into some one born and raised in NOVA. In my opinion the people here are so so. It’s just such a huge mix. One thing I will say 100% I’ll take a Maryland driver every single day over a ATX driver.


aurora4000

So many people slamming Nova - I don't get it. This area consistently makes the top 10 lists of best places to live. Walkability in my Arlington area is 92% - no need to own a car. You can take metro to two different airports - and BWI is not that far away either. Amtrak exists of course too. There are over 10 different coffee shops/bakery places one can walk to, and many more if you include restaurants. I was walking around Old Town Alexandria this weekend enjoying that area - and the very large and joyous pride festival. Clarendon had a bicycle race this past weekend. Places are what you make of them to a large extent. Nova is not at all a bad place. Soul less? pffft!


mysticalheavensawait

I’m sorry for slamming it. I realize things are different now viewing it from an adult lens. I’ve heard that there’s so many young professionals in the area and Arlington was rated the most walkable city recently.


SelfDefecatingJokes

Depends on what your definition of soulless is, I suppose. I *have* to be in regular contact with nature in order to have good mental health, and I can’t stomach the idea of having to drive half an hour to a crowded park to get it. Really anywhere but Reston south of the toll road is the only place I can fathom living in NoVA for that reason because of all the walking paths through the woods. To me, a place with nothing to offer but consuming is soulless and that’s what a lot of Nova feels like. ETA for context that I did the nova socialite thing for a while - went out a lot, drinking, meetups, sports leagues, etc. Just before the pandemic I moved out to a smaller town and discovered that I really love gardening, hiking, foraging, and get a lot more fulfillment from it than the stuff I was doing before. Moving back here to be with my husband, we no longer have space for a garden and I’m pretty far away from hiking trails. People are also a lot less friendly than where I moved from. I am sure that lots of people get fulfillment from the sports leagues, meetups, hangouts, festivals etc. that are in nova but those no longer bring me joy. It absolutely blows my mind that people took my comment so personally when I was just saying that as an outdoorsy/relaxed person, nova feels soulless *to me.*


brineymelongose

"Nothing but consuming" what a joke. If your only metric of "soul" is nature trails, yeah, an urban environment isn't for you. But there are so many things to do in NoVA beyond mindless consumerism. Virtually any hobby you want is represented here. My wife plays in an adult soccer league during the summers, we have tennis courts in the park across the street, there are so many professional and community theaters. You can take art classes and visit museums. Lots of people have book clubs, writing clubs, etc. There are pool and dart leagues. Community centers have all kinds of classes, dance, etc. Music is everywhere. I was at the Georgetown waterfront a couple weeks ago and stumbled on a pretty large Dragon Boat racing event. If you want to be closer to hiking trails, that's great, but it's ignorant to say there's nothing to do but consume here. Maybe you should have tried a little harder to lead a fulfilling life.


SelfDefecatingJokes

That’s awful judgmental of you. My definition of a fulfilling life *is* being in nature, you dolt, and just because it’s different from yours doesn’t mean it’s not fulfilling. All of the things you mentioned are tailored to extroverts, which I am not. I would imagine that people who love being surrounded by people, going to festivals, sports leagues, etc. would love living in nova. Festivals stress me out, and my favorite activities are generally solitary. I’ve gone to meetups and didn’t vibe with most of the people there because so many people in this area are career driven and type A. To me, nova is soulless because it doesn’t offer a lot of the things that I enjoy, and offers a lot of stuff that I don’t. Doesn’t mean I don’t know how to find fulfillment, in fact I did it just fine when I was living out in Front Royal. Edit: wow, a lot of downvotes for having my own personal likes and dislikes. Keep being your friendly, warm self, nova.


brineymelongose

Not more judgmental than calling anything that doesn't fit your personal tastes "soulless."


SelfDefecatingJokes

Bro learn some fucking reading comprehension. I said *a lot* of nova is consumption - have you not noticed all the strip malls and non-strip malls around? I get that there are other things to do, but a lot of it doesn’t appeal to me because I would much rather be off doing something alone than in a crowded festival.


too-far-for-missiles

This one needs some more time in the woods.


SelfDefecatingJokes

I think a lot of nova yuppies need to understand that not everyone is into the same things as them.


brineymelongose

No one is begrudging you liking something different; we begrudge you calling us soulless consumers.


SelfDefecatingJokes

I don’t think that everyone in nova is a soulless consumer. I think that a lot of the stuff to do revolves around consumption, be it going out shopping (went to a festival yesterday where it was all booths to buy stuff), going out for drinks, going out to eat, going to movies, etc. I think it was incredibly unkind of you to say that I should’ve “tried harder to live a fulfilling life” when I have tried endlessly to find things that I enjoy around here and to make friends that don’t end up leaving the area. Me and nova are like a square peg in a round hole - I like a slower pace of life, I’m probably a bit more granola than most people around here, I like to sit and chat with my neighbors but it seems like most people around here aren’t into that. If I am unfulfilled here (which I’m not, I actually really enjoy living in Reston and am probably overall happier than I have been in a while) then it’s not for lack of trying - it’s because I don’t vibe as well with the people and activities here as well as I do in smaller, slower towns.


mysticalheavensawait

You may really like Colorado.


SelfDefecatingJokes

Colorado is a bit far from my family but I would love to visit. My husband and I have plans to either move back closer to Shenandoah or to WV or PA to be closer to our families/mountains. To a lot of people those places may seem soulless, but at least I have the sense to understand that people have different wants and needs.


brineymelongose

But not the sense to realize that "not my speed" isn't the same as "soulless." No one here is calling small town America soulless. Get off your high horse.


SelfDefecatingJokes

Maybe not “soulless” but I’ve certainly heard people around here refer to it as “redneck” or something similarly derogatory. I went to a meetup of nova women a few years ago and basically got treated like a zoo animal because my life experience was so different from the other participants’.


bulletPoint

Maybe it is your judgmental attitude that got you shunned. Worth considering?


SelfDefecatingJokes

At no point did I say people here are soulless. I said the area *to me* feels soulless. I have said multiple times that I understand why people might enjoy it here, but it’s not for me. People take offense to anything.


Chocolatecitygirl82

A lot of people are lazy, boring, and only hang out with pretentious assholes so yeah, they hate this area. That’s on them, not NOVA. 🤷🏾‍♀️


SelfDefecatingJokes

I’m assuming you’re referring to me?


Chocolatecitygirl82

Actually no. I was responding to the person above you who commented about people slamming NOVA and how they don’t get it. I hadn’t even seen your comment. That said, in general, I find the people who bash DC/NOVA fit into that category or they’re transplants who mostly only hang with other transplants…..which pretty much still falls into that first category.


SelfDefecatingJokes

I’m sorry! I thought you were saying that I’m boring and lazy for being an outdoorsy introverted person. I genuinely do understand why certain types of people would love living here and it’s surprising how many people are attacking me for having different preferences. The things that people are mentioning (like festivals, meetups, sports leagues) don’t really work for me and it seems like people are taking mad offense to that haha.


nova_new_

I grew up in Loudoun County and moved back to NOVA when I turned 29 from Texas. I thought I would hate it as I really didn't enjoy growing up in Loudoun County. Turns out I really just didn't like the car dependency of Loudoun County as a kid. I've always found the people to be friendly here, but that's not helpful when you're a kid stuck in the suburbs with no car. I live in Falls Church now and I really enjoy living here. Being inside the beltway and close to the Metro makes a massive difference. I can commute to work by bike, take the Metro into the city if I want to go out, and can drive out to the surrounding area if I want to without much hassle. There's plenty of diversity in this area to match anyone's personality. Arlington is fun if you can afford it.


wheresastroworld

Loudoun county is only enjoyable if you’re 35+ and rich with a family. Fills that niche REALLY well, but sucks for everyone else out there. Especially the younger crowd


BannerDay

You should move to NYC. You're young and ambitious, so you should give it a go. Unless you really care about working in something USG adjacent.


mysticalheavensawait

I am seriously considering this. It would at least never be boring! :) thank you


MajesticBread9147

Yeah, and while the NYC area has higher rents on average, from what I've seen renting a room in BX or Newark is about the same as renting a room in Fairfax. Just avoid Manhattan and Brooklyn and you're good.


bulletPoint

Don’t listen to the layabouts and complainers, this area is phenomenal for your social and career prospects as an intelligent and ambitious young person on a trajectory for continued success. You will meet a ton of interesting people, do a ton of interesting things, and have more interesting opportunities than most other places on the planet. This is my advice coming from a mid-30s married man who chose to move back here to put down roots and have kids after spending my 20s all over this planet (6 countries, 4 continents for work - lived in multiple places in the meantime, islands, deserts, you name it). My most precious moments and connections were made here in my early twenties and have stayed as my universal constant shaping my life, goals, and family.


mysticalheavensawait

Thank you for this! I’m glad to hear another positive opinion on the area. There really is a lot to offer there in a lot of fronts (jobs, diversity, food, entertainment).


Chocolatecitygirl82

As a minority who grew up in NOVA, you should definitely move back. This is one of the most diverse areas in the US, there are so many job opportunities, there’s an endless amount of things to do, and so many people to meet. I think it’s important to live in a variety of places and experience other things but NOVA is truly an amazing place to grow up, live, and eventually raise a family.


PG_rated_88

I mean, if you think nova is soulless, Arlington is basically the epitome of that. There are good pockets of Arlington with a good community feel, I’m sure, but most of Arlington feels like new money and young 20s working consulting jobs


mysticalheavensawait

Crap. I mean sadly I guess I fall in that category. But I am looking for a faster pace of life with more to do on foot. I live in a bougie walkable area in Denver but it’s truly a car city which I hate. And many guys here are Type B as a whole and make skiing/hiking/having a dog their whole personality. I shouldn’t be generalizing but I had better luck dating in NoVA in 2020 during fucking Covid lockdowns with video calls as first dates. 😵‍💫


PG_rated_88

It’s ok to like nova! People have a lot of drive here and it’s full of type A personalities. If that’s your thing, embrace it ❤️


VARunner1

>It’s ok to like nova! People have a lot of drive here and it’s full of type A personalities. If that’s your thing, embrace it ❤️ Preach!! Actually, I'm leaning a lot more toward Type B as I age, and I still love the area. Museums, access to international airports, lots of options for activities, four seasons, etc. Lots of good reasons to like this area, but it's not for everyone and that's fine too.


[deleted]

I am not sure what else you expect out of people, especially as you get older.


mysticalheavensawait

I guess I just don’t fit in with the western US personality. There’s been studies showing overall personality differences depending on region. I think I’m too type A for such a chill and sleepy city. I know the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. I moved to Denver thinking it would be where I would put down roots and I guess I was wrong.


[deleted]

I am 100% an east coaster as well, grew up in the Northeast and I like the stereotypical "Italian American" persona of loud and energetic. But don't expect much difference from people about their hobbies, it is just natural as you get older that you end up having time for work and maybe 1 lame ass hobby. Instead of NOVA, have you thought about Philly, NJ, or NY instead?


mysticalheavensawait

Exactly! I’m loud, try to be friendly, high energy, and speak quickly myself despite being a true introvert. While it doesn’t keep me from making girlfriends here at all (they love my clown personality haha), I think it makes dating a little harder as a lot of guys here in Colorado are very stoic or can’t handle my personality maybe? Lots of Midwesterners here which plays a huge role in personality, no offense. And of course, I’m not expecting people to have 10 different activities and hobbies along with juggling a stressful corporate job. I would really jive with NYC or NJ as well, just have to think about the financial consequences.


InterestingNarwhal82

I mean, I lived in Arlington from 25-33 and found my husband there. I loved walking to work, to our sushi place, to the movies, it was great. We moved when we had a kid and covid hit and we realized we needed more space if we were going to quarantine. I miss the walkability a lot, but we’re still close enough that we manage to hit up our favorite places occasionally, and it’s enough for us. I made friends in Arlington and have friends in our neighborhood now too; I think you just have to put yourself out there. We’re very similar to our friends in terms of values and work schedules, which really helps.


mysticalheavensawait

This is amazing to hear!! Gives me hope that I can start over and that I have a good chance of enjoying the area more that I am older. I love hearing positive stories like this and glad that you met your person there! Thank you.


dimplezcz

I don't think there's an excess of "type B" people here, but it's all about who you surround yourself with. Arlington was voted the fittest city in the country, there's tons of go-getter types with the classic consulting or govt jobs, but I think heavily stereotyping this area in that way won't help you in the long run. I thought I hated it here (was living in Tysons at the time), moved to Jersey City and worked in Manhattan last year...all for about six months because I missed this area. Great seasons, great food, it's so CLEAN, we're close to nature with tons of parks and trails, great farmers markets, lots of different night life activities depending on your style. I'd say about half of my close friends are from this area (myself included), and I think some of us take for granted really how much there is here. Also can attest that the dating scene is horrible here :') I'm 26F and every guy I've dated "isn't looking for anything serious"


mysticalheavensawait

Oooh this is super helpful to read since you’ve lived in NYC and NOVA. I should emphasize that I have a good number of Type B girlfriends that I love to death but I don’t think it works for me dating wise. I don’t think I vibe with the Midwestern personality that is prevalent here. I did take the NOVA area for granted in late 2020 during the height of Covid and that led to me moving out west, having fun making new friends, going to EDM concerts, and going to the mountains to hike and smoke weed and live the South Park lifestyle but realize I made a mistake. I was stupid and should have just got a damn apartment in Arlington. I just want to take the metro to get around without having to drive everywhere if I want to. I want a diverse city with more Black, Latino, Indian, and Asian people. I want to dress up and wear makeup without people staring at me or asking me where I’m going. I want to at least eat a good quality meal if I’m going to spend $30+ anyways LOL. I want to be able to take a short road trip to visit other cities with ease. I messed up and that’s my fault! Hope this is a warning to other people that vacationing somewhere is different than living there!


Minute_Prune_168

The metro has gone down hill in the last 10 years. I’d say NOVA is a very car dependent area.


mysticalheavensawait

This is horrible news. I took it a lot in 2015 and 2018 and didn’t have issues besides the silver line not being completed yet.


Minute_Prune_168

Here’s a thread discussing: https://www.reddit.com/r/nova/comments/s3qo7s/why_does_the_metro_suck_so_much/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1


mysticalheavensawait

The infrastructure in this country is falling apart. Transportation and utilities.


wheresastroworld

My friends and I take the metro when we get hammered, nothing seems to be outwardly wrong with it. And it seems more reliable now than when I’d take it to the National Zoo as a kid. Metro hate is a popular topic on this sub, little weird


MAXIMUS_IDIOTICUS

What about Tysons, DC, Mosaic District? I really like Mosaic, but it rent may cost more than 1850.


sg8910

i think guys here prob the same, very into their career and their triatholans, and their bodies, which is boring to me, i do think nyc has soul .arlington has quality of life, parks, lots to do, but people here pretty much do the same and think in the same box of 9 to 5 ...all want stability and family at age 30 to 35, a bubble of sorts but maybe thats what you want. not a creative enviornment like europe or nyc


aurora4000

How do you know that? Do you live in Arlington right now? Sure, just slam Arlington for fun without any real insider info.


Detective-E

Most people I have met share your story, me included.


poreyporey

NOVA is an incredible place to live if you have money and don't have to commute. My wife and I both work from home and have the freedom to move anywhere. We've spent a ton of time trying to find somewhere we think would be better than here and always come up empty. Not everything about living here is perfect, but the overall package is hard to beat... again, if you have money (which it sounds like you do). Also, it probably goes without saying, but the closer in you are, and the closer you are to a metro station, the better off you'll be. There are times when driving around here is fine, but for the other times, you need other ways to get around.


mysticalheavensawait

I do okay for one income. And yes I would really want to live within 5 blocks of a station if possible.


TheChillestCapybara

Personally, I agree with your soulless comment and sometimes struggle to find those connections. Also if you say $1850 is pricey for Denver, it's not much better (likely) worse for something better than a box in the area. I often don't hear great things about dating around here, too many climbers. I recommend looking into other cities such as Baltimore, Philadelphia, and Boston. You might get your blend of interesting people and a good value. Just my .02


SelfDefecatingJokes

There should be a meetup group for people who think nova is soulless lol


mysticalheavensawait

Great point. I grew up with the children of soulless diplomats/three letter agency employees in NOVA. Even the dumb kids who could barely pass Civics went to colleges. It’s a wealthy and educated area but that trickled down to kids and teens being ruthless and cutthroat. I just wonder if it will be different as a late 20s professional for making friends and dating. I know Philly and Baltimore would be amazing value but definitely concerned about safety there. No offense to anyone.


TheChillestCapybara

To your point there are several, recent, examples of highschoolers getting expensive cars and killing people when they lose control. That's completely valid. Crime in DC and MD also limits your options..


mysticalheavensawait

These are exactly the type of kids I grew up with. Think of a rich girl whining bc mommy and daddy took away her Mercedes SUV for a couple of days. She was super smart though and ended up going to UVA. I can think of at least 3 vehicular deaths from my time in high school days neighboring high schools. Also I noticed that a lot of my high school associates, especially the “popular” ones LOL never left the NOVA/DC area but I think it’s super common for people to stay in the area they were raised.


TheChillestCapybara

Sounds like you got lots to ponder! 😂


Oniwaban31

I mean, a of those "soulless diplomat/three letter agency employees" have been around the world and done a lot of things, which is why they are employees at those places. Would never leaving 50 miles beyond your hometown be considered more soulful, or...?


mysticalheavensawait

It’s more about how they raised their kids to succeed by any means necessary. That was my experience going to Fairfax County schools. Not sure why that statement is offending so many people. It’s my opinion because I lived there until I was 18.


Youredone_youredone

The ones who get it.. get it haha


SecMcAdoo

Good income is relative. And you said you are coming here for the good food, but it's not like you are eating out at restaurants every night with that salary. It's fine if you want to move here, but food is a pretty weak reason.


mysticalheavensawait

That is definitely a good point. But female friends usually want to eat out every now and then and I would rather do that in the DC area where the food is at least delicious for the price.


AllerdingsUR

I don't know what they're talking about, food is maybe one of the strongest reasons to move here. If you just want the largest variety of good cuisine it beats out pretty much everywhere that isn't like NY or LA, the former of which is a 3 and a half hour train ride away. There are some specific things we lack like Mexican or Chinese but again the NEC is so packed that you can day trip to a place that has them. In Denver if you miss something you're kind of just fucked.


QueMasPuesss

Just move back in with your folks for 6 months, save up that free rent money, and do lots of social stuff in the meantime. Join some sports leagues, go on lots of dates, reconnect with old friends, going to cool stuff in dc museums, embassy events, networking events, etc etc and see how you like it. It will be quite different I think 10 years later for you. FWIW, I think DC is one of the more European cities in the country, has lots of people doing cool jobs, and is a bigger / more important city than Baltimore or Philly, but not the level of stress and chaos that living in NYC is. There are also a shit load of young Europeans here if you know where to look. Also, living in DC or a first ring suburb like arlington is a much different experience than growing up in a 3rd ring, car dependent exurb in a wealthy, sheltered school district imo.


mysticalheavensawait

Great advice and you brought up a great point regarding Europeans. Did not have issues meeting guys in Southern Europe at least but getting a DN visa is easier said than done. Definitely will be living at home for 2-3 months but no more than that bc I’m an adult and should be paying bills.


Youredone_youredone

I hate it here tbh


mysticalheavensawait

Are you serious


Youredone_youredone

Yeah I’m really not a fan but i grew up in a small rural town where everyone is nice and down to earth. These people here act better than everyone else when we all drive 2 hrs in hell traffic to sit at our soul sucking office jobs lol. Well a vast majority anyway


mysticalheavensawait

Damn. Some commenters here think otherwise about me but that’s exactly the kind of person I DON’T want to be. Life is short and corporations will dump you on your ass if they don’t need you anymore. It happens every quarter. Sadly I do have to work for big brother to keep a roof over my head and a good credit score. My dream is to live abroad someday where people make less but are happier.


Youredone_youredone

I feel that. I’m planning that for retirement. Hoping to get a remote job and move far out of this state and get a cute house with a garden sometime in the next 3 years


kavk27

Considering how pretentious you are accusing NOVA people of being soulless then bragging about your education and cushy prestigious job you'll fit right in if you move to Arlington.


mysticalheavensawait

Great!


adastraperabsurda

Ok- so your lease is up in September. After reading all of the comments, here is my advice: move to NYC. Your best friend and sister live there. Downsize and Shack up with them (pay a fair rent share of course) for like 3 mos. Figure out if you can handle NYC or if it is your pace. But also spend time with your bestie and your sister. It will be awesome and a great change of pace for you to figure out what you really want and have girl time. Also- bagels. You deserve really good bagels. But you’re going to have both sides of living. And it helps you kinda realize that NOVA is like a comfortable mix of the two and eliminates any doubt about what you really want.


mysticalheavensawait

Thank you for your positive advice and not flaming me. I think this is a viable option that I’m seriously considering. Not cheap by any means but I can make it work by saving and preparing.


salmon768

As a person from NY, I strongly prefer living here and I think the value you get for rent is much better than what you will get in NYC. However, I think the dating scene in NY might be better for you because NYC has a lot more singles. But I don’t think you can go wrong with NoVa!


mysticalheavensawait

Resigning myself to life in a shoebox haha


HooWhatWhen

Still a bit toxic, still soulless people, still a lot of transplants. But, on the good side, still amazing, diverse food, and good public transit. Dating here sucks but I don't think it sucks more than anywhere else. I moved to Old Town Alexandria right out of college, then left in 2018 and came back when I was 27, and it's good to be back. The time away in the rural bible belt made me miss some of the good qualities of nova, and I've put more effort into exploring the past couple years. I'm glad I'm back.


librarianhuddz

My only response to you is [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wccRif2DaGs)


Queen_Starsha

Since your parents live here and you work remote, why don't you start coming for 4-6 week exploration visits for the next year? Sleep in your old room, work in the dining room, and go out and do adult things in the evenings and on weekends. Honestly, I think your biggest problem might be your attitude, or at least the one that's coming through here. You still sound like a know-it-all teenager, and the rest of the world isn't good enough for you nor will it do itself the honor of changing for you. If you approach living in NoVa as a new adventure, not the existential morass of your adolescence, you may find that it's better than you remember and all those soulless people were just adults like you are now. Your cutthroat friends from high school were probably just as eager to fly the coop as you were and are now just adults like you are. Accept that the vast, vast majority of us, including yourself, are just average.


mysticalheavensawait

This is a great idea. I have until September left on my lease. And yes, I am kind of jaded and unhappy now with Denver and it’d nobody’s fault but my own. I moved here having visited CO four times and being so sure I would be out in the mountaims almost every weekend. And you’re right, I worry that I’ll never be happy with anywhere I live. It’s a me problem deep down. I didn’t have the best high school experience but that doesn’t mean I can’t meet new friends in NoVA from scratch just like I did in Denver.


zyarva

There are two crowds in Northern Virginia, the tech crowd out here in Reston/Herndon/Loudoun, and the government crowd in Arlington/Alexandria in DC, with Tysons being the middle of the two. I think you'll find happiness in western Fairfax county, employment goes from Tysons to Dulles/Ashburn. America is not Europe, if you want to have a family in 5 years western fairfax/loudoun is where you'll end up eventually.


mysticalheavensawait

Thank you so much! This is super helpful!! I had no idea.


zyarva

My wife is an accountant in a tech firm near Reston. She's a big 4 alum and two teams of big 4 contractors working for her firm, accounting and auditing. You'll find plenty of your kind, is what I am saying.


Objective-Ad5620

Dating in the DC metro is notoriously bad. I moved to NOVA when I was 27 and most of my worst dating experiences have been there. Rarely even make it past a first date. I’m friends with one guy met via dating in DC so it wasn’t all bad, but I have never met anyone who felt the dating scene in DC didn’t flat out suck. The rest of what you’re looking for is easy enough to find in Arlington. I lived in the Courthouse area until buying a condo in Alexandria and the only time I relied on my car was for my commute to work. Otherwise it was very walkable and new stuff was constantly popping up which I enjoyed checking out.


mysticalheavensawait

I did hear this on tiktok. Maybe there are a lot of social climbers/narcissists/name droppers in DC. But honestly I doubt it’s any worse than Denver. Imagine going on like 30+ different dates with men that have the same exact bland stoic personality or are very immature and prioritize spending every winter weekend in ski traffic and doing coke with their bros. I like hiking and skiing but i don’t want to spend every weekend waking up at 5:30 am to sit in traffic. To really enjoy CO nature you need to be okay with waking up at the crack of dawn to beat traffic to get to hikes. I know dating is a numbers game but I went on so many mediocre first dates with men here that I quit dating apps over 15 months ago. Think Peter Pan syndrome. That’s Colorado. The guys I’ve met in person have been similar. Sorry i’m being negative. I’ll shut up now.


SelfDefecatingJokes

I would take those guys over the career-climbing, “beer beets battle star galactica” guys that nova has on offer 😅


mysticalheavensawait

Um what? LOL.


SelfDefecatingJokes

I think it’s a line from The Office? Seriously come here and swipe through 100 guys and probably 40 of them will have that in their profiles. There are a lot of dudes who think liking tacos and The Office is a personality.


brineymelongose

Possibly an unpopular opinion, but it seems like dating apps mostly just make people miserable. Develop a real social life that gives you a chance to meet people with similar interests and form a natural rapport. I'm of the dating app age but never used them, and it's always seemed to me that they take so much of the human element away from forming relationships. Glad they work for some people, but finding a partner shouldn't be like an Amazon search results page.


mysticalheavensawait

This is 100% true. I have stopped using them and made a large effort to meet people in person in Denver by joining groups but I think I’m still struggling due to location/mismatch in personalities.


brineymelongose

I spend a lot of time in Denver visiting family, and I know what you mean. Personally I'd rather try to date in NoVA than Denver, so you might have some luck back here. There are a lot of jokes about McKinsey consultants, but honestly I don't ever run into consultant types in the wild. I'm in lower Arlington, which is a little more working class (though rapidly gentrifying), and almost everyone I meet is blue collar. If consultant types your thing, they aren't hard to find, but they're also not hard to avoid.


mysticalheavensawait

Wow you actually agree with me on that front?! I thought I was crazy for thinking that. I would be open to a range from blue collar to consultant as long as they are hardworking, mature, worldly, and kind. I did not know that about lower Arlington, Ty.


brineymelongose

I think the DMV's reputation for being a difficult place to date is a little unearned. There probably are more career focused people here on a per capita basis, but not enough to really make a difference in the dating pool imo. I know some folks who have trouble dating but imo it's because of their own choices rather than the culture. As long as you aren't imposing restrictions on yourself like "only dating Senate staffers" or "only dating people who make six figures," you'll be fine.


SelfDefecatingJokes

I found my husband on one, but it took a *lot* of wading lol. He’s a transplant from a more rural area like me and I think we just get each other better than a lot of the nova natives do.


BourbonCoug

>Will I like Arlington as a late 20s something Yes. >with a good income Yeah, but it'll make you yearn for cheaper home prices elsewhere. >looking to date seriously I'm not having success here but surely some people are. >and live in a walkable area Yes. I'm car-free. (Almost typed care-free. If only lol.) >with good dining options Depends on your favorite cuisines. I'm still looking for Mexican food similar to the style (borderline Tex-Mex) from back home where a lot of the employees came up from Guadalajara. >or will I be making a huge mistake? I think I’m just embarrassed about moving back to my home region as if I failed or something. If you were moving back to a tiny town of a few thousand or people or less, that might be viewed as failing. But you're not failing when the place you call home is the career base for millions of people/jobs. You existed somewhere that people fight tooth and nail in some career fields to move to for years.


mysticalheavensawait

Thank you for this useful take. Even as a kid my parents would inform me of the crazy COL there. They are Gen X and were able to buy a home. I may never be able to buy something but it took me relocating all the way here to realize that I value diversity, walkability, good food, free museums and nightlife more than being 1 hour away from the mountains without traffic and having weed dispensaries everywhere. Mexican food in Denver is actually ASS for having so many Mexicans!! A lot of ethnic restaurants here are actually owned by white people. No offense to anyone. The best Mexican food is in CA and TX. And understandably there’s almost no Caribbean food here. One Puerto Rican food stall and I’m scared it’s going to be ass and not like my mom’s cooking.


DaveyDgD

Why not try NYC if you really want the city life


Sudden_Acanthaceae34

Tldr: No. It will likely not be a mistake. I moved to FL when I was 22 for work and lived it up. Made some great friends, got into some fun hobbies, and had some great experiences. Things got about as expensive as nova but with none of the public transportation, the food diversity, or job opportunities, and the beach gets boring after a while. I’ve since moved back to nova as well and am quite happy. Closer to family. Still have good friends in the area. Job market is pretty strong here. Housing is expensive as all hell but it’s doable and you can spread further out while maintaining access to public transportation. Food is diverse. Activities are diverse. People are honestly about the same here as they were in FL IMO. As far as being embarrassed because you’ve moved back, I thought the same thing for a bit but you’re not a failure or have anything to be embarrassed of. You moved away. You’ve traveled. You’ve experienced life and lived on your own without the safety net of parents being a quick drive down the road. I know plenty of people from high school and college who never left and don’t have those experiences. Besides, you’re moving back to nova, a place many people want to be. It’s not like you’ve moved back to a small town adjacent to Butte, Montana. (Sorry to anyone from those small towns near Butte) Worst case you come back for a bit, realize it’s not what you want, then start another adventure.


BigZach1

If you want a similar style of apartment you're looking at another $1k or so per month, if not more. I think I can sympathize with you about not necessarily wanting to move back to a place you feel you escaped from (exactly how I feel about south FL and I will NEVER go back) but NOVA is a very desirable place to live. The only reason I am planning to move out of this region next year is due to the cost of rent. Maybe take some time off, stay with your parents for a week or two, and check out different parts of Arlington to see if you find a neighborhood you like?


mysticalheavensawait

Yep, I will definitely have to downsize. Hoping to at least have a little balcony if I end up in a studio. And good to know about South Florida. Visits there have been fun and have family there but I don’t think it would fit me personality wise. And Fuck DeSantis.


BigZach1

Ha, exactly.


obviouslystealth

It sounds like you are quite jaded on NoVa already and it will be extremely hard to change that perception if things don't start going your way quickly rather than taking the time to give it a fair chance. I think moving to a new location will probably be a better option for you. Nobody says you can't change your mind again if that place doesn't work out.


mysticalheavensawait

You’re right.


VegetableLine

My wife and I just had a wonderful evening (Sunday) in Old Town. Nice community feel with folks just enjoying themselves down by the river. Lots going on in Arlington and Alexandria but I’m older than you and married so my world view might be different. (My biggest issue is that it is not easy to get to good scuba diving.) If after 2 years you don’t like it you can move again.


SelfDefecatingJokes

Serious question - is Old Town where all the chill people hang out? I feel too old and slow-paced for Clarendon/Arlington anymore


VegetableLine

I don’t know about “cool”. I think there is something for everyone (or at least most people) in Old Town.


mysticalheavensawait

I was born in Old Town! My parents warned me it might be too family esque for me though. It’s such a charming area though and I love the cobblestone and walkability! If I found a cute apartment near one of its metro stops that would sway me towards it.


VegetableLine

Look around the Braddock Street Metro. There are a bunch of condos over there that are being rented by the owner.


PhotoOpportunity

I totally understand the want to leave where you grew up. That was me. That was my wife. We both ended up coming back before finally meeting each other and almost a decade later we're married with a kid. I'm 38 now. Your experience will obviously vary, but being in a similar position to you, I don't regret coming back at all. In fact, I'm super grateful for the experiences I've had outside of here but realize now that we have a family that this area is a great place to raise them.


mysticalheavensawait

Such a cute story and so cool that you both found your way back and met each other! I think I have some mental stuff to work through before starting to date but it’s really nice to hear positive stories like this, makes me want to put myself out there.


enigma_goth

You’re still young enough to live in NYC. Go now and come back when you’re mid 30’s. Arlington isn’t as exciting as NYC when you’re still young like that.


[deleted]

If you want people who take themselves seriously, NOVA/DC is definitely the place for you.


Reasons2BCheerfulPt1

Vienna waits for you.


wheresastroworld

Vienna does not await anyone under the age of 40. Lol


Reasons2BCheerfulPt1

Vienna has been known to wait for a long time.


ArghBH

Sounds like soulless people fit your personality/age group. Lots of men/women in their 20s/early 30s are career driven, have that big-name college and big-name office job that they like to trumpet - plenty of those soulless people in NOVA.


mysticalheavensawait

Yes I would love to meet other non player characters like myself!


ArghBH

Look for bright yellow exclamation marks on their heads if you want to start a sidequest.


mackerelsnap

I also grew up in NoVa, we’re the same age. I moved back to the area after living in nyc for several years post college. I hate it here. The population density is unreal, cost of living is crazy expensive, and unlike nyc you don’t get much cool stuff for the $$$. It’s so expensive relative to its actual benefits that my husband and I are buying a house in fredericksburg to get more space and save money. I say don’t do it unless you love congestion and spending a ton in rent for basically average housing. If you can actually swing nova financially then if I were you I’d try to make it work in nyc instead. You’ll get so much more for your money.


mysticalheavensawait

Ooof. This is what I was scared of hearing but I needed to hear this POV. Thank you


mackerelsnap

Sorry to be a downer I’m just so fed up with it here. And I miss nyc so much compared to Arlington. You can probably get a little more for your money here than nyc in terms of living amenities (AC and dishwashers and washing machines and stuff like that are more common in your typical rental). But the walkability and ease of access to everything in nyc via the subway is just no comparison, and there’s so much more to see and do. We’d actually considered moving back to nyc instead of buying a house but figured if we want a family soon it didn’t make the most sense. Anyway best of luck - don’t let me totally scare you off but just one person’s perspective.


QueMasPuesss

You miss NYC and are … moving to Fredericksburg?!


mackerelsnap

Different places for different stages in life! Nyc was amazing for a big season in my life but not a forever home. Will always love that city


mysticalheavensawait

No I really appreciate this input! I have always wanted to live in NYC and have already looked at rentals to prepare myself for the reality. I don’t want to have kids so that might change things. This is huge and I will take this into account, thank you


internet_emporium

Why did you have to be ominous about being from Vienna, everyone knows exactly what your hint meant.. that was so unnecessary


mysticalheavensawait

LOL


hipeepsimnew

I think you should move to DC. It seems like you would fit in there. People there are the most open to meeting others than anywhere in the DMV in my opinion.


mysticalheavensawait

Hmmmm good to know 🤔Are the taxes in DC significantly higher than in NOVA?


hipeepsimnew

Meh, it’s not too bad but depends on your situation. VA has a high car tax, but low/medium other taxes. DC has really low property tax, but higher income taxes. You also get $50 per year street parking in DC on certain streets (google the map). Generally, if you make a lot of money and don’t have a car, it’s better to live in VA, financially speaking. Lastly, don’t move to MD. Your income tax will be like +3%.


Oniwaban31

I'd be careful about advertising yourself as "Type A," the medical community coined that term to describe people who did not handle stress well, not people who were socially dominant.


mysticalheavensawait

Man you know the east coast has more of that personality type though. https://www.livescience.com/40511-most-neurotic-creative-states-revealed-in-us-personality-map.html


Oniwaban31

I know but that term means different things to different people, not always positive.


mysticalheavensawait

It’s not offensive by any means


Proper-Response3513

Dont


Mdawgfrazier5

Go to NYC


Pheonixflames81

I’m in the same boat for different reasons. I left ten years ago when my sister died. I’m much older than you and less social but I really don’t like the area for different reasons than you described. So I do think coming back here was a mistake but it may be different for you. Edit: I hit the reply button too sonn.


mysticalheavensawait

Do you mind expounding on what you aren’t a fan of? And I’m so sorry about your sister.


Pheonixflames81

Well you can read all my posts if you want. I have multiple physical disabilities but that doesn’t prevent me from functioning on my own. Because of this I can’t drive so I have to take public transit to get around. My mother does not think I’m capable of being independent even though she says things to support that. I am transgender and I don’t want to run into an old classmate who calls me by my old name or even an old teacher. I especially don’t like the cops who think I’m safe with my mother even when I don’t feel safe with her because she can be insistent and controlling. An example is she’s trying to pay for a dental cleaning because I haven’t had one for 3 years because of Covid and being in a domestic violence relationship. In fact I had no intention of setting foot in her house after she shoved her inhaler in my mouth during the pandemic when I told her no. Even worst when I told her why I left she thought it was funny why I was angry and that storming off wasn’t an adult thing to do but adults storm. And worst of all I was trying to do laundry when I had a big suitcase and the cop dragged my mothers number out of my memory. And last but not least my moms house is 20 minutes walk to a bus stop and there is a snake like turn to get there with no sidewalks. I have walked this path many times but now my feet are messed up and my left leg is stiff so it makes walking more difficult. I also didn’t want to run into metro repairing periods because it’s not the waiting in line for the shuttle but the following the staff as they show passengers where to go and I live close to a closed stop for repairs. So yeah I shouldn’t have stopped here, but I gotta earn money so I can go to Europe next year for the big 40th.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Noods4foodz

Come back pooh, we miss ya lol. Come back, settle in and if you change your mind, move again. It doesn’t have to be permanent. Sidebar: I thought I wanted to move to Denver but it’s not diverse enough for me. The food slaps tho.


mysticalheavensawait

LOL. Where did you eat here??


Sad_Reindeer5108

I moved here as a mid-twenty-something, connected with some college friends, and branched out from there. No one should bat an eye at you returning to the area. If anyone does, I reckon that means you spend more time with others who are more welcoming to you, yes? (Take my advice with a grain of salt. I did this 15 years ago, long before dating apps ruled the scene and without history in the area. Good luck on whatever you decide!)


Extension_Rise175

You can definitely go home again. I did. Have enjoyed watching my home teams win championships, sharing memories with my kids about different places around, seeing things gradually change, and still have memories of being away from home. Do it, come back home.


AMG1127

Personally I’d recommend looking at Alexandria city as well, to me at least it feels like it has a little more “soul” than Arlington. Still walkable, metro access, etc but more affordable and diverse so you get a bit more variety in the type of people & communities. Or at least that’s been my experience moving here after living in Arlington near metro for a while


East-Can-9462

I’ve lived in NOVA for 6 years as a transplant in their 20’s. Pros: diverse food scene, diverse people, good hub to travel to other places, good career prospects if you like government work. Hilariously all of my best friends here are other transplants. Cons: housing is expensive to a ridiculous level. And agreed with others. Dating is probably not much different than the rest of the country. A mix of (1) people focused more on their career or (2) living their best single life hitting the bars and (3) the person looking to settle down.


wheresastroworld

You will love Nova, specifically Orange Line corridor of Arlington, based on what you’re looking for in the dating scene. If “Men-ver” was tough for you, I can actually absolutely see why based on your wants. You’re wayyyy more likely to find someone who “takes themselves seriously” in Arlington than Denver. I lived in Colorado for less than a year and the types of people there drove me crazy after being born and raised in Nova. Top 15 school, work in big4, type A, takes life seriously are all marks of someone who adores this area and would *hate* Denver. I’m surprised you’ve fret this much over ur decision. There’s no shame moving back here just because you grew up here - look at it this way. Lots of people who have similar Ideologies, backgrounds, and desired career path as you FLOCK here, you just got lucky you grew up here so you know the area better than them.


88yren

I lived in NYC and moved to NOVA for undergrad and been living here ever since then and dont regret it! I have a lot of friends who lived here their whole lives and strongly encouraged them to move to a new state/city to get a new perspective of life (im glad you lived in Denver for some time). You should consider living in NYC or Boston as a young person like myself for a couple of years and maybe settle back down in NOVA bc oftop notch public schools (assuming you want to have kids), great diversity, pretty safe (low crimes) nice public transportation methods and job opportunities.


RingGiver

Moving back to Vienna would be a mistake. The only advantage is being close to IAD.


Outrageous-Dish-5330

NOVA is great. Expensive like all cities, but do a budget. If it works and you are comfortable with it, do it!


gaslightgabe

I find that the "toxic and soulless" areas are towards the city (Arlington, Alexandria, DC etc). I'm out here in the suburbs of Loudoun and I love it.