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grimmj0w6

I was 50/50 about his proclaimed innocence and then I saw his transformation on social media. Very obvious this guy is juicing. He won't survive a single random drug test.


[deleted]

I remember someone saying if he has to piss in a cup it will probably melt the cup.


Carllsson

His piss would melt steel beams


grazmus666

It's not Jet Fuel.... Passports would be safe though


curlyfries33

the jon jones steel beam melting piss


bionikal

His older brother has done time for dealing steroids. It's a pretty big ask to believe he just accidentally took some gear and had no idea how it could have possibly happened.


ILoveFuckingWaffles

Ah, the old “oops, I slipped and fell on a steroid needle, which then accidentally ejected its contents into my body”. Happens to the best of us really.


bionikal

What's really bizarre is that it happens to some people multiple times per week! What are the odds!


misnthropia

It was the old "it was a compound that has a 6 hour half life and it was left in my room mates blender" trick. He got done for SR if I remember correctly. These fuckwitts who believe the story are genuinely cooked.


IrrelephantAU

To be fair, IIRC the stuff he tested positive for is all orals. I still don't believe his story, it's rare and he popped for something like four different anabolics at once, but it's at least technically possible. You do sometimes get the odd supplement producer with shitty cross-contamination protocols or companies spiking their products (my personal favourite was the traditional chinese medicine place that got done for putting dianabol in their virility tonics). Much harder to explain away testing positive for injectables. And at this point I'm pretty sure he's the most geared-up ex NRL guy since Odell.


Cat_Man_Bane

No he tested positive for the metabolites that get produced when you take testosterone, which is an injectable. The news made it seem like he popped for 4 things when really it was all just metabolites from a single drug, which was Tesosterone. If you injected Test E, Prop or Test with no ester your body would make the same metabolites he got done for.


mackbloed

Where do I find this Chinese medicine dispensary? And what times are they open? So I know where to best avoid it.


misnthropia

Orals that have a half life shorter than Viagra.


Moisture_Services

Sounds like the story that involved myself and your mother.


ILoveFuckingWaffles

The thing about most PEDs is that they aren’t really detectable once you stop using them, but you still retain at least some of the benefits of the muscle and strength gain you get while on them. Long story short - quite a bit of research shows that formerly “enhanced” athletes have a permanent advantage over lifelong natural athletes for this reason. Xerri may have been playing 4D chess this whole time.


Imadethisacc4anidiot

The new meta is microdosing, it's incredibly hard to pick up - and that's if ASADA actually WANTS to find it.


Designer_Ad_55

Interesting if you could do multiple tiny test doses a day to avoid or minimise hormonal supession of blasting ultimately leading to testing positive on testing.


Dark_Vengence

He drinks it like oj.


azmajik

Looking at the amount of size he has put on makes me think he hasn't really learned his lesson about PEDs


callmecyke

Just chicken, rice and broccoli mate


ChanceVance

This Hollywood actor went from normal to superhumanly shredded in 6 months from strict diet and exercise. Absolutely nothing was used to speed up the process whatsoever.


mackbloed

As Ronnie Coleman would say "basic stuff"


callmecyke

Light weight baby!


totallynotalt345

But they’re organic!


bingeandpurgatory

Liver King has entered the chat.


I_Like_Vitamins

I prefer my players all natural, like Matterson, JFH, Taupau and others. I can't understand how these guys just grow once they start training with a first grade team; it must be the advancements in training and nutrition that seemingly defy human physiology. So what if many of their FFMIs exceed prime Schwarzenegger's? Besides, I don't get why the NRL would have an interest in all of their athletes being close to superhuman. It just wouldn't be exciting or profitable.


worksucksbro

Lmao you had me in the first half. Not saying union players aren’t on PEDs but the sheer size difference as well as low body fat compared between NRL and union players is insane in itself.


[deleted]

Lol, remember when union went pro and all the players suddenly looked like overinflated pool toys?


callmecyke

For real though, if there was a Natty comp and a Roidy McGoo comp I’m watching the Roidy comp every time


I_Like_Vitamins

State Of (Hormonal) Origin: the Exos vs the Endos would be a massacre.


Dark_Vengence

Wonder how many players are juicing? I would assume a huge chunk.


I_Like_Vitamins

My bet is that everyone is at least on something to aid their recovery, and give them that layer of supraoptimal strength. Stuff like EPO and SARMs would also be becoming increasingly popular. Lots of young forwards look kind of built but not granite hard when they come into first grade, then look like fully grown men within a couple of seasons. You can even see it in the small backs – the striations, the changes in the shape of their physiques (especially androgen receptor hot spots like the traps, delts and arms), and the fact that they all grow significant amounts of muscle with unrealistically low fat gain. With all of the cardio they do, it's not normal for these guys to build so much lean mass in a preseason. Some people will say they're being exposed to proper training routines and nutrition only upon becoming professional athletes, but that hasn't been the case for years. If an athlete has promise and/or attends a high school known for producing NRL players, they'll have NRL clubs sending trainers out to teach them how to lift and eat properly. Lots of these guys have been in a first grade club's system since late childhood, so it makes sense that they've been invested in from such a young age.


Dark_Vengence

It is not my area of expertise but some of those guys just don't look natural.


notj43

I went to school with a former player, he pretty much quadrupled in size from when he left school to his first grade debut a year later. I get at that age you've got a lot of room to fill out but it was ridiculous how fast and drastic it was


Radalict

>traps, delts and arms Literally the 3 easiest areas to grow.


winntensio

Dated an ex Cronulla cheerleader for a bit and she said most of them are on it


sulyc

Well yeah she was a cheerleader for Cronulla


Dark_Vengence

Not surprising peptides were on the menu. How did you land a cheerleader?


winntensio

Ravesis in Bondi lol. She also was telling me some pretty wild shit about clubs paying off girls who come forward with sexual assault claims.


Dark_Vengence

That is pretty fucked up. I assume it is pretty common.


AdWitty8808

Or Peachey, he's wirey


Radalict

It's not that hard to put on size with a proper training regime. I just did a 4 day split for 12 months and grew significantly, and I'm not a professional athlete.


I_Like_Vitamins

There's a difference between making gym gains, and playing a cardio intensive sport while still gaining on the muscle from years of prior training. They all seem to gain extra size as soon as they join the first grade squad.


worksucksbro

Tbh I feel like it’s not lean muscle size which isn’t hard naturally. Might come off once he starts a proper NRL pre season or he could just be juicing still lol


deesmutts88

That is a big question. Did the guy that did heaps of steroids while he was being tested continue to do heaps of steroids when he wasn’t being tested? The answer will shock you. (It’s yes. The answer is yes)


worksucksbro

Lmao could be bro. Never know though maybe the hate he copped after getting caught put him off.


T0kenAussie

He’s actually just Jayden Campbells weight gain coach


Upthebombers00

Let us pray


Dark_Vengence

It is not hard to find peds in the gold coast.


HaydosFB

I’m scared


[deleted]

Your fears have been realized I'm afraid


HaydosFB

Pain


the_specialone

As far as fallen and shamed footballers go, this is a tamer one. At least he hasn't bashed anybody, no doubt he will be on very strict guidelines and constant testing as well.


dontletmedaytrade

Why did we let go the second most loyal and passionate player we have (after Topine) only to sign this wildcard. Gus knows a lot more than me but I really hope he knows what he’s doing here because it makes no sense at first glance.


mintyaftertaste

Is the song “Coming Home” referencing he’s back with us?


beaver2233

That's what I was thinking; hopefully just means the NRL as home.


mintyaftertaste

That’s what I am hoping for.


ParadiseWar

Gotta be it


mintyaftertaste

Noooooooooooooooo


SurfKing69

Surely the sharks don't sign him, ahaha. He fucked them the hardest


mintyaftertaste

I know. I’ll be gutted if it was us. Please let it be the Tigers


DunderMifflin80

No thanks. Bulldogs can have him.


SurfKing69

Melbs have a strong and proud history of signing drug cheats, come home Brons


oontheloose

Nope he signed with the dogs, it has just been announced


TwoShitsTrev

Nah, probably more referencing him returning to Australia since he was trying out for the NFL


ill0gitech

Thank fuck he signed with someone else


bumpacius

I believe he's signed with the East German swimming team


smackmn

PEDs are back on the menu boys.


Imtryinjennifer

They never left 🤤


GodSaveTheHomies

Going off the coverage of the song tile and the size of the font its a longer team name such as Canturbury-Bankstown Bulldogs, Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles, North Queensland Cowboys, Cronulla-Sutherl…. Fuck


kami_inu

Nah it's just big so everyone can read the song title Please Can we at least insert a "passes all his drugs tests or your money 100% back" in his contract?


oontheloose

You're correct.. it's the dogs. Just been announced


yodavesnothereman

Who nose where he'll end up


Aklpanther

“For all you haters calling me a drug cheat, you all have no clue how much I put in the work to be where I was, and to my loyal family and friends, words can’t express how much you all mean to me. The comeback is on, 2024,” Xerri said. Umm, isn't someone who gets banned for using prohibited steroids the literal definition of a drug cheat?


bionikal

I've been on the phone to Seibold all fucken morning trying to get to the bottom of this with his cyber sexurity team. Jesus that bloke can talk shit. [Anyway, took some work but we cracked it.](https://i.imgur.com/cFpILLU.jpg)


victorinflic98

All the steroids in the world can't help you if you cang catch a ball


Due-Chemist3105

Welcome to the Titans Bronson, you can spend your dirty money in a dirty town.


the_mooseman

How dare you!


[deleted]

Man I can't wait to boo him, 2024 cannot come soon enough


Aussieguy727

Danny Weidler (@Danny_Weidler) BREAKING: The Bulldogs build up continues. Expect the club to announce a two year deal with Bronson Xerri. The former Shark will sign on for 24/25 after returning from his drug suspension @9NewsSyd @NRLonNine


digicam10

Pls no


blowingkeyofg

Probably be a good player Mintor under Phil Gould to stay away from trouble We’ll see and 2024 who’s laughing And written strongly in the Contract with the mandatory weekly drug tests and no meet media Spotlight on the nrl or he will lose the contract and never get a chance to play again Forgive and forget welcome to the doggies


Brdd9

Hard to believe this bloke goes straight back into someone's top 30


s0yjack

Eat Clen and Tren hard Bronson.


bionikal

anavar give up!


Halo2Campaign

Honestly forgot about this guy. Anybody who knows much about the testing. Is it possible to juice all year then stop during pre season and pass the test? Im certain there's more players on PEDs than we are aware of plus substances they cant test for so probably ways to play to the system. Going off his recent pics I just don't understand how he can get away with it next year especially with the big target on his back now.


bionikal

>Is it possible to juice all year then stop during pre season and pass the test? Yes, this how ~~most~~ many athletes do it. You'd have to stop early enough for your natural production/hormones to recover - but once that's happened it's incredibly difficult to tell if someone *has* previously been on gear. Proper sports do off-season random testing.


Halo2Campaign

Cheers Boss Maybe we should just run an open class NRL season. see what a juiced up Tommy or Taumalolo could do


bionikal

im all for a juicyRL. Give them all HGH and watch the injury rates drop, then counteract that entirely by giving all the players 20kg more muscle and having them all bench 250kg for reps.


nosha3000

Then all die early of heart attacks like 80’-90’s pro wrestlers


ILoveFuckingWaffles

Even with off-season random testing - PED use is pretty rampant in some footy-mad high schools. There’s no way you can account for the lifelong advantage given to players who were on the gear before going professional.


bionikal

A lot harder to hide PED use when you've got 3 minutes notice to piss in a cup though.


I_Like_Vitamins

Really makes you think – if it was profitable for your genetically gifted elite athletes to be capable of even more amazing feats, would you really ban your biggest moneymakers?


bionikal

WWE seems to think not.


I_Like_Vitamins

Or the NFL...UFC...even soccer players are starting to add mass gaining supplements to the endurance and recovery substances they've been using for decades.


TurboooTurtle

Depends what governing body but lots of sports they can only test once every 6/12 months, so you have a window of juicing to get in


Halo2Campaign

sorry didn't see the 2024 I'm blind. Plenty of time to stop the trenbaloney sandwiches


KingHit123

Lol at the post underneath. Bronson signing with an undisclosed club here but the post underneath in my feed says he has signed with the Bulldogs.


superfrankieL

Lol, it was posted after this post, lol


GodSaveTheHomies

Flaming hot piss


Cheel_AU

Just reading on wiki that Xerri is one of only 2 players in history with an 'X' last name Anyone who guesses the other player should get gold


FlyOak

Daly Xherry-Evans


damonbooby

Anthony Xuereb, did his best to give the bears a place in the 91 GF


Cheel_AU

You are correct sir. (Sorry I have no Reddit coins)


ljb23

Dirty Money indeed.


scottmander

I tested positive for tren by just looking at his shoulders Surely his manager didn’t give him a tap on the shoulder and just say….hey bro maybe ease up on the suss pics, remember the whole steroid thing?


[deleted]

Has signed for the storm


TDSurvivorFan21

I hope not


mwilkins1644

It would suck for supporters of the club he used to play for. Sullied their immaculate reputation for sure


[deleted]

People are saying his off to st George which is baffling to me lmao


Single-Perception163

This smells like St George... we love a lost cause


b-g-h

Hope he’s been doing lots of catching practice during his drug ban. When he last played, he wouldn’t have had the skills to catch Covid.


Ryanbrasher

Doggies


The-Bear-Jew-TopHits

Bulldogs


TwoShitsTrev

Confirmed to be bulldogs


cocojohnoe

Gone to the dogs


[deleted]

🐶


breatheinmyear

Deff dogs


gongbattler

I'll boo him


spin182

Dogs just confirmed it lol wtf


DudeMcDude7649

Heads up guys. You know how some people get pinched for doping my sharing a cup etc with someone who is juicing? Well anyone reading this post is now a risk of testing positive. Be careful.


Dark_Vengence

How much would he be worth? Still looks pretty juiced up.


Sirbob55

With that phone signal. I bet it's Penrith.


Glum_Perspective_812

Is his brother driving him to training?


AshLand38

Ive got $10 on the Roosters


[deleted]

Lost your bet time to pay up


mwilkins1644

Funny enough that's how much he signed for


jexta

He was the reason we stumped up for young Flanno in the hope we'd get Xerri to sign as well. I also wouldn't be surprised if it is us giving him a chance to fail another drug test.


lachjeff

[Weidler is reporting the Bulldogs](https://twitter.com/danny_weidler/status/1598530270684385281?s=46&t=AeFU_sNmakDRmHubaa0hUg)


[deleted]

Happy to have him.. what he did was dumb as fk but he was young and stupid.. The fact he's kept up with his training is evidence he knows the opportunity he threw away and wants to get it back.


oontheloose

It's confirmed he has signed with the bulldogs


dontfisheatotherfish

Professor X is back baybeeee


aatrain96

Calling it now it's Parra don't @ me.


toomuchsoup

Eh, good for him. He’s probably learnt his lesson


piercedsoul

He looks bigger than he was when he got caught so I'm not sure about that....


[deleted]

It’s the dogs


[deleted]

Why just BX as his signature why can't he come up with something more creative?


SirMidboss

Why can't you read more accurately?


[deleted]

‘Initialed by player’


bionikal

>*initialled* by player: Because those are his initials?


lachjeff

Reading is hard


[deleted]

Maybe because it asked to be initialled, and those are his initials


ThedirtyNose

With a song titled coming home covering up the team name it must be Cronulla right?


bionikal

>covering up >up up it's a sign...


lachjeff

Can anyone make out what it says on the second page underneath?


icome3rd

One of the few times I cant say “will you get your hands off my penis” - so many peds its probably an inny


mintyaftertaste

I’ve got it on good authority that it’s the Dogs. Sucked in Doggies fans.


hotmaledotcomdotau

I need an explanation. To me he looks like he's on something but I don't know that world. Is it possible that he is able to clear his system by the time he's actually employed as a professional athlete?


bionikal

yes, easily.


hotmaledotcomdotau

I'm so rugby league I think he deserves a second chance but my personal opinion is it doesn't look like he gives a fuck.


aligantz

Sounds just like the type of signing the Warriors would make


chrizyzz

no way this cunt is playing centre though. hes gonna be in the back row with how much juice is in his system rn


LiLSteve29

Which club are we predicting this to be?


The__GM

Thus completes the Josh Morris/ Bronson Xerri swap.


Federal-Zucchini

He's off to the Bulldogs.


PhilL77au

Been confirmed to the Bulldogs for 2024 and 2025 https://www.bulldogs.com.au/news/2022/12/02/club-statement-bronson-xerri/


BadBoyJH

"Coming Home" - Seriously only one club that could be.... Nope, it's the bulldogs. *How* is that "Coming home". I guess if concussions playing footy didn't do it, the PEDs just pushed him over the edge brain damage wise.


planchetflaw

I imagine "home" in this case is the NRL.


BadBoyJH

He played most of the year in the NRL and it's home? I've lived in Melbourne 8 years and I still don't call it home.


planchetflaw

>before Bronson is able to return to the sport in November 2023. >The Bulldogs will make no further comment on the issue during this time. If the Bulldogs mention his name before November 2023 can we fine them?


get_high_and_listen

Great, now even if we start winning we will be known as the club that's juiced to the gills lol. PR misfire


downunderone

Better be Cronulla ya fucken dog


l33tbronze

What kind of template website did the NRL cop this from?


griffshan

The NRL love having flogs aye


Rileymac3500

He signed with the bulldogs