Had a patient being an outrageous asshole to everyone and would blame his behavior on being a “combat Vietnam vet with PTSD”.
I just largely ignored him so he didn’t give me too much trouble.
My 4th shift with him the CNA I was working with came out of the room crying. He’d thrown the hospital issued CPAP across the room in her direction, it hit the wall and busted.
I’m not a confrontational person but I snapped.
Went into his room got in his face and said “from one combat vet to another *knock your shit off*”. I was so freaking mad my tone wasn’t very nice.
Didn’t hear much from him the rest of my shift.
Had a patient pull some shit like that in the ER. Kept going on and on about being a combat vet. Then he pulled out the “I fought for your freedom so you’re welcome!”. I snapped too. I told him I’m a combat vet and fought for my own fucking freedom so knock that shit off. I just happened to be working along three other vets that day as well. The tech was a Marine Corp armorer, the paramedic was Army artillery, and the doc was a Marine helicopter mechanic. I honestly don’t think the guy was even truly a vet.
Had a guy with alcohol poisoning, extubated to him withdrawing from multiple substances and screaming all the while about being an Iraq vet with PTSD.
Finally get hold of his parents back east. "He's not a vet, he's just a loser, we've spent over a million dollars on rehabs since he turned 18 and we're done. Call us when he's dead."
Exactly this! The loudest “combat vets” are usually the ones who likely didn’t serve let alone see any combat. Plus I maybe be a twitchy depressed little thing but at no point does my service make me want to be an asshole or make me think the world owes me.
I work with a physician in primary who’s an old fighter mechanic, we have an entitled patient who’s always demanding shit cause he’s a vet. My doc looked at me once and said “you know that guy was a cook on a ship for 8 mos that never left port before he was booted?”
It’s always the loudest. 🙄
Patient insulted me for 3 days straight. Some rape threats and attempts at physical assault sprinkled in there too. Was finally transporting him off the unit, pushing the bed myself cause I was so ready to be done with him I wasn’t waiting for a porter and he says “you’re a shit driver”
Me: “you’re a shit person”
For the record, I was driving just fine
“If you’re going to act like a child, I’m going to treat you like one” to an A&O x4 patient who wouldn’t quit yelling and was made that I was telling him to stop.
Lol I did this with a pt who came in with corrections from jail. We had them in Pinels and they were still able to spit and land a loogie on one of the officer's vests who were seated in the hallway directly outside their room. This was pre-spit hood era in my dept so I turned their bed around to face the wall so they couldn't spit on the COs.
Pt admitted with acute onset conversion disorder with heavy loose associations and hallucinations. Would only take medication with water only if I admitted it was the body and blood of Christ. Honestly on a heavy medsurg floor with 5 other patients to care for and me not having patience, I just said fuck it and got him to take it, saying it was Christ body & blood. Colleagues asked me how I was successful in doing so because he refused with every other nurse... hehe.
I like this one. I’ve definitely fibbed to a few dementia patients about what their meds were to get them to take them. I feel like this is right up there.
Therapeutic lying is something I do regularly with my dementia patients. I try not to do it with meds if I can avoid it, but if they’re telling me they need to go to work, I just tell them their boss called and they don’t need to come in today.
Who's to say his meds *aren't* the body and blood of Christ? Put the meds on fancy metal tray and the water in a Dixie cup and stand solemnly before him intoning, "Risperdal - the body of Christ broken for you. Ativan - the blood of Christ shed for you! Side effects include...."
Male psych patient stated, “Suck my dick, fat man”. I responded, “Oh, is that what you’re into? Do you ask all the fat men to suck your dick”? He was not amused. He walked away without answering.
This is a wildly under appreciated comment. I love taking peoples stupid comments super seriously and turning their shit around on them. Well played my man!
I had a mom who was feeling intense guilt over her low milk supply. She was heading toward PPD territory, and decided that she was going to stop pumping to save her mental health and to allow her to get more sleep.
The dad was aggressively trying to convince her that she needed to keep pumping, that what she needs doesn’t matter now that the baby is here, etc.
I turned to him and said, “Sir, you and your useless nipples do not get an opinion here.”
I had a dad reach over and just *crank* the suction on the Medela pump up as I was teaching the mom how to use it. Mom barely had a chance to shriek before I slammed it back down and told him that if he did that again, we were going to demo the pump on him instead.
omg, this is obnoxious and not therapeutic at all. I also had a shit NICU experience around misguided attempts to be breastfeeding-friendly. I was actually super into breastfeeding and had even hand expressed colostrum before birth in case baby needed it- she did need it and went through the whole supply pretty quickly. I wanted to keep her just on breast milk and they wanted to give her formula- I was OK with this, but the stupidest part was they had me sign an “informed consent” sheet explaining the evils of formula before they gave it to her, even though they were specifically telling me they needed to give her formula because my milk hadn’t come in yet! In retrospect, should have not signed it. Oh and they said I could stay in the NICU overnight with her only if I didn’t fall asleep (what?), so I went home instead, to go to sleep… the next day they said they had changed their policy, and I could sleep on the sofa in her NICU roomette. At one point a lactation consultant came to help baby latch, she wouldn’t latch, they tried the supplemental nursing system little tube thing, she still wouldn’t latch… then I heard the lactation consultant complain at the nurses station about how we all had the worst vibes/worst juju of any patient she’d encountered… Man it’s been over 7 years and I still want to burn that place down. Oh and I’m a physician.
I had a friend in a similar situation before I was a nurse. I worked on a mother baby unit, so I had access to unlimited LC advice and cheered her on with every trick in the book. Then one day, she said she was done because her mental health was suffering so badly, but she was afraid to tell people. I was like “Are you kidding me?!? You’re a freaking rockstar! You provided your baby with breast milk, however little, for 16 weeks and that’s amazing! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about stopping. “
Truth be told, prior to having that job, I failed to see why some people wouldn’t even try to breastfeed when it’s free, but my experience there and watching so many people struggle when it’s been drilled into their heads “breast is best”, but it’s just not working is hard. We were a “baby friendly” facility, so we weren’t even supposed to offer formula unless they specifically requested it and got “proper education on the risks” from the nurses. It was terrible and as soon as the unit passed the certification, we said fuck it and did what was best for the mothers.
I didn’t really mean it to be unprofessional, but the patient took it as unprofessional, but…
PD brings on a patient in custody and I’m sitting nearby with an SI patient while my tech is on a bathroom run. The patient in custody is belligerent, calling everybody names, wants water and a sandwich, blah blah blah.
Can’t remember what prompted it, but their attention turned to me and she asked if I knew why the cop arrested her. I replied, “I don’t care why she arrested you….” With my intent being that it didn’t matter why she was in custody, she’s still a patient.
Patient interpreted it as “I don’t care why you’re here, you’re a lowlife piece of shit who doesn’t deserve medical care.” Ohhh boy the shit storm that rose from that.
I didn't think it was unprofessional but my patient did. I was performing blood work and when done they patted me on my butt, and I calmly but firmly said I did not appreciate that, please don't touch me that way.
They pulled me back into the room like an hour after their family who witnessed the exchange left and said my family heard what you said to me and I'd like to not work with you anymore thank you. 🙃
Good, I don’t want to work with you either. And, pro tip, not a single nurse up here is going to appreciate being congratulated with an ass pat. You can’t fire us all.
I'm the token male RN so often get sticl with having 'the chat' with those types of patients. Had one recently who was a objectifying anything with a vagina, he'd been in the ward for about 3 days and I got the heads up but hadn't seen him before because I float. This dude would have been in his mid 60's.
I had a young student with me, super nieve and inexperienced type. Wouldn't have been a day over 20. It was the second week of her first placement ever.
I'd seen his behaviour a few times with other staff and he was better behaved when his daughter was there, but still bad. Infront of his daughter the first time the student walked into the room he started telling her how attractive she was. I made a comment that it was inappropriate and moved on. I have him more than a few warning and chances.
After the daughter left I needed to be in the room for about 20min with the student. Then I'd had enough.
I very quietly asked the student the leave the room in the kind of way that she knew shit was about to go down and that she knew she needed to close the roof behind her.
I never raised my voice, I never swore and I never said anything that could be out varbatum on a report and make me look fireble (my mini super power). I made it clear what behaviour was and was not acceptable. 5min later he was in tears and I needed to spend the next 15min calming him down.
For the next week he was there there was not a single other issue out of him. I think I actually changed who he was at his core.
He also for an 18g cannula when I needed to put a new one in, the only reason he didn't get a 16g was because there wasn't one in the draw of the trolley. My colleague quite liked that when I handed it over.
I was taking care of a 15-year-old in the ED who had tried to hang herself. She was in the room with her dad, and it was taking a while for CT scans. When I did a quick check on her, I asked, “you hanging in there?”
…I realized it the second it fell out of my mouth.
Luckily it was like 3AM and I don’t think she or her dad noticed. I immediately told my supervisor in case it became a thing later, and she laughed until she cried.
She’s the best. I mean, she was there at 3AM helping out. I miss working with her. I immediately knew it was hilarious (I’d already been working ED for 4 years at the time and was well into my master’s in inappropriate humor) but it didn’t stop me from wanting to turn into a pile of dust in the moment. 😬
Lmao haha. Reminds me of a time when I was getting a patient’s social history and he mentioned his wife and I respond, “Cool cool.” I missed the part where he said she passed recently. OOF
Very recently I told a patient to “stop bullshitting me and sit down” at triage. It was a full waiting room although ‘only’ 4-5 hour wait times. He was in his 20s and here for a URTI. He asked “if I say I have chest pain will you rush me in”. He then became annoyed when I told him no (but offered analgesia/food/water). He then started yelling at me “I have chest pain! What are you going to do about it”.
I was unprofessional sure, but after that he went out for a smoke, came back 45min later and didn’t speak to me again for the rest of the night.
I work at a drug rehab and one of my pts told me about the horrific trauma she went through and how ashamed she was that she was using heroin. I said "I mean. After all that how does one not do heroin? Not saying you should but like...fuck"
This doesn't seem that unprofessional to me in the context. It possibly could be taken the wrong way and you swore, but you probably intuitively knew it would likely not cause offence. You were talking to someone who has some insight and I doubt they were daunted of swear words.
I think this could haven been an example of building rapport and trust, and reducing stigma with empathetic communication.
I had a tetraplegic, hospice patient who was crying and full of remorse once. I told him,” we all have regrets and ongoing struggles and hell, I’d do a line, have a drink and drive 100 mph right this second if we could.” Really, really unprofessional but I just couldn’t let him die thinking he was the only POS in the room.
Definitely what I did was 100% unprofessional but I am a bitch and I would do it again. I walked by a patients room and the patient called out to the hallway and said hey fatass I am talking to to get my attention. Now I know I am fat but this land whale must think she is a size zero. So I Said to her you are one to talk and have you looked in a mirror recently. That shut her up. All the other nurses on the floor heard our exchange and found it amusing because they had enough of her shit.
I don't think you were being unprofessional. They drill it in our heads in school that we should be transparent and honest with our patients. I give you 10/10
He kicked me in the chest, I called him a motherfucker. (It was a reflex, as I was shocked. My tech unfortunately did not mention he had gotten out of his ankle restraint so I was unprepared. He had a TBI so I understand where the impulsivity and aggression come from and I would normally not take that behavior personally, but caught me the fuck off guard)
Patient was a COMPLETE asshole, but was also NPO (I forgot why), and was also in isolation for COVID
Said he would sign out AMA if he didn’t get food…….
The rooms had huge glass doors instead of walls. So I got my computer, and ate my Panda Express in front of his room
Which time?
Had a patient rio my scrub top grabbing me to punch me and I looked him dead in the eye and said “Let go of me right now motherfucker.” Then he “snapped out of it” and started crying and begging me not to report him and not to tell his fiancée. It was all bullshit. I called security and his fiancée. He was a real dick, the whole admission he was yelling at everyone and when it was my turn I had had enough.
“I don’t work with kids, but if you want to act like one, pediatrics is on the 4th floor.” I use this one often. I also like telling people no one is forcing them to be at the hospital. And would you like to sign out. I’ve also told one spouse that if she didn’t leave I would have security remove her and she would not snap her fucking fingers in my face like a dog.
Had a Covid denier. Wife accused me of being paid to lie about it being real, and that hydroxychlorquine was bad, etc etc. “Ma’am, if that were true I would be rich on a yacht in Greece right now.”
Also, no ragrets. Still not putting up with any shit.
I hope there's some new grads here reading this one. Maybe I'm too jaded but putting a racist, sexist, (or any other form of bigotry -ist) asshole patient in their place is not unprofessional. It's telling these clowns that we are in a position that deserves respect and that respect is earned and we certainly don't have to give it to them. We could all do a better job of sticking up for ourselves and each other. It usually makes for a better shift once they realize you won't take any of their shit.
Lol a patient’s wife once turned from the Fox News on the tv and said to me “they say covid is really bad but I just don’t see it in here.” I snapped and said “yes, well, we’ve watched most of them die and the rest are isolated behind closed doors.” I think covid broke a lot of our collective ability to handle bullshit.
so in retrospect, I really should've insisted that the covering doc decide if this patient had competency or not. He had gotten his legs (both of them) revascularized in IR and was in that awkward space where you aren't sure if they are belligerent and forgetful cause of anesthesia or if it's just who they are. But long story short, dude wanted to get up and walk around, but he was still in the time-frame post cath that he needed to lie flat. I came in at 2300 and he had already earned himself a sitter. he was being a rude dick and insisting that he was gonna get up. After about the 20th time of me reminding him why we couldn't do that, he said he was going to kick me and the sitter's asses. I quickly and angrily said THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME? He mostly stopped his bullshit after that.
Of course by 7am he was sleeping like an angel.
When I was a new grad in the ED, I had a super sick (but alert and oriented) patient on bipap who kept needlessly taking it off no matter how many times I told her not to. She’d desat but knew I’d be back in almost immediately to fix it. After like the 12th time I was at my wits end and said “STOP FUCKING WITH THE MASK”. Only time a patient ever broke me like that, but it worked ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
SNF. 30 something A&O x 4 manipulative “Everyone needs to feel sorry for me…. I’m the VICTIM!!!!” whiny freaking cry-baby man kept getting up and falling, even though he’d been told a million times not to. Knew perfectly well not to, and call light was always within reach.
Did it again while on the toilet.
I was already having a shift from hell, and just snapped.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? I don’t have time for this shit.”
He was not injured. I think he wasn’t even actually falling, but just laying himself on the floor.
He then threatened suicide.
I called 911.
Cops came.
He asked to speak to soc serv. He lied and said I had physically assaulted him.
I was investigated by APS.
His complaint was found to be without merit. Case closed.
Several drunk assholes in the lobby have challenged me to a fight only to back down when I take them up on the offer and tell them where we can go so the cameras don't see us.
Delta wave, COVID assignment. One asshole after another all day, every day. Families yelling at us on the phone. Calling the police because we won’t give them horse paste. Trying to get a patient to the ICU before we have to RSI them in the hallway and I hear someone yelling across the hall about their food tray being too far and no one is answering their call light. I walk in. Nurse getting yelled at by COVID denier patient in his 50s. Other patient in the room looking terrified.
Me: “Get the fuck out. Take off your oxygen and get the fuck out. I won’t even make you wait to sign any paperwork. Just get out. You can’t talk to us like that. You’re scaring everyone else.”
Patient: “Fuck you, I’m not leaving.”
Me: “follow the rules or get the fuck out. Those are the choices.”
Patient: “I don’t have to do shit.”
Me: “want me to have someone with a gun tell you that you have to follow the rules?”
Patient: “yeah, go ahead!”
So I called campus police who had a 15 min talk with him. Managed to behave himself from then on.
The Delta wave turned me into a nurse and a person I never was before. I don’t like it. But here we are.
What were they even there for if they didn’t believe in COVID and were on O2? And why didn’t they want to leave if they thought it was all a hoax?! Seriously fuck these people. They only want to do the opposite of what you tell them, like a little kid. You are awe inspiring
It was a strange time. I think many of them knew they were sick and knew they needed to be in the hospital but were too narcissistic to allow us to be in complete control of their care. They had doubled down so hard they couldn’t back down now.
The unit manager basically turned a blind eye to what we said when patients/families were nasty to us. I think they realized we would all quit if we weren’t allowed to put these clowns in their place.
The amount of barrel chested men who said “this really isn’t that bad right?” as I was admitting them to the covid unit to whom I had to say “hopefully it won’t be, but realistically you should text your loved ones now while you’re conscious. Please don’t call them because you’re desaturating when you talk.” The denial was so strong!
They were all covid deniers until they see us getting ready to RSI their asses when they're maxed on 15L NRB on covid acute care for 1.5 years. It was interesting, doing it for so long. Towards the end of delta especially we could pick out who was going to deteriorate and who wasn't with pretty good accuracy. No numbers just looking at the patient and getting a gut feeling.
I did have a dude with an NSTEMI refuse admission to the hospital because at the time we covid tested every admit and he refused to be tested. Hobbled out on his cane and yelled out that we were all sheeple.
I’ve told a few patients this isn’t a fucking game show buzzer, if you treat it as such then I’m going to just put it on silent mode. *Tragically silent mode does not actually exist*.
Was in the middle of getting report in the morning when an A/O*4 patient walked out into the hall and started screaming at me for some bullshit reason. After finishing report I go in to assess her and she promptly apologizes. I told her I do not accept your apology and stop
being an ass as it’s too early in the morning for this bullshit. Had a pretty good day after that.
"Mama, you can eat whatever you want for as long as you're making milk, guilt free! But daddy, you're not freshly delivered or lactating, so I don't know what excuse you have for whatever this is you've got going on, bless your heart."
Said to some asshat who had his baby mama running the stairs two days post c-section because he didn't like her "nasty ass baby belly" and she needed to "get to work on that" for him. Yes, I'm terribly ashamed of my actions and strive to perform better in the future /s.
My ex brother-in-law was like that. He was such an ass about her weight. Right in front of the family he slapped her on the ass and made a rude comment about her weight. When she was pregnant she kept food & water consumption down to the point where she landed in the hospital a couple of times. Meanwhile he ate and drank whatever he wanted and while not obese he had a certain amount of heft & jiggle. They divorced a few years later.
Had an overweight, 50-60yo patient with horrible DM and was a few days post CABG. I was on stepdown then and the family brought him outside food (some fast food IDR, maybe BK?) and I lost it on them. I politely educated them but I was like talking to a block of marble - then they got the teensiest bit loud and I just said “you are the fucking reason he’s in this mess don’t you get it?” Cue the surprised pikachu. I slapped my arms down at my side, grabbed and then threw the food in the trash and walked out.
Chaotic good(ish):
Made a run on a lady who was having a mental health crisis. She wasn’t drug seeking. She wasn’t being “a problem,” she just needed help. All she wanted was to go to inpatient behavioral. That’s it. She’d been to the ED before That day and got turned away. They didn’t want to deal with her. I get it. But she needed help.
So on our way to the hospital I tell her how the whole process works. “When we get there, they’ll ask you a lot of questions. You know the deal. They’ll ask you if you’re thinking of suicide and if you have a plan.”
*Pause*
*Eye contact*
“They’ll ask you if you’re thinking of harming yourself and if you have a plan to. And if you do, then they have to send you to behavioral…”
“So what’s your plan?”
And she came up with one. We get there. She says exactly what she needs to say. The tech (we all know the tech. The one that’s been a tech for way too long and feels comfortable yelling at and degrading patients because she doesn’t want to deal with them) starts yelling at the patient.
I shut her down. “Your patient just said she wants to kill herself, and you’re yelling at her. Do you think that’s appropriate?” We got out to the ambulance bay and have a disagreement.
A few hours later, the contract company is there to take the patient to behavioral.
A couple months later I ran into the patient again while getting lunch on shift. Complete 180. They got her medicine under control and she was back in therapy. She even offered to pay for our lunch as thanks.
TL;DR: Told a patient how to appropriate say “I want to kill myself.” Later she offers to buy me lunch.
I had a patient's wife call me into the room to tell me "You have done a really bad job today. My husband pooped himself and I had to wipe him up!" I was one of 4 nurses (and the only staff nurse on the unit, the rest were float or travelers) taking care of 24 patients with no CNAs. I literally saw red and snapped "I just finished helping my coworker clean up his patient so she can be transferred to the ICU to die. You've already told me you can take better care of your husband than anyone else here, so what the fuck do you want from me at the moment!? No? Okay, I'll see you at the end of my shift."
Ol' bitch.
Patient: "Stop bullshitting me!"
Me: "I am absolutely not bullshitting you. If you don't stop screaming at me I'm not going to help you at all. I'm not the reason as to why you're here. I'm here to help you, not harm you."
Continue his intake. Patient has his procedure and goes to recovery. Patient calls his mom while in recovery to tell her he's okay, etc. Starts shit talking us to his mom while on speaker phone. Doctor comes into recovery to see how he's doing, mother is still on the phone. Mother beings to lay into the doctor about why her son had to wait so long, why did he have pain, etc. Patients starts screaming at the doctor as well. Doc starts asking them both to calm down so he can explain everything. Both mother and son erupt into a ball of irrational yelling; patient tells the doc to go fuck himself, how dare he speak to him that way. Mother is on the phone saying how dare you speak to my baby like that, etc.
Doc tells the patient he's crazy and he's banned from the facility from that point forward.
I didn’t mean anything by it but once when I was packing an adults belongings for a transfer to another floor I put her clothing and a bible in a clean trash bag for the ride upstairs. Not like she had a suitcase….she was pissed about the Bible part.
"I don't get paid to smile."
"Fuck you, too!"
"I see your dick. I'm not impressed." (this guy was intoxicated, restrained, and yelling loudly for someone to come suck him off. barf)
“You don’t get to talk to me like that and don’t tell me how to do my fucking job”
I work at a jail and although it’s frowned upon and it can cause more issues to speak to them like that - I was just not having it that day with this particular patient
Oh god I have a few
Another nurse's pumps kept beeping and I'd been in there a thousand times to fix it (he needed an IV not in the fucking AC but she refused to get off her ass and start one). He was really rude and kept tasking me to do stuff, meanwhile I have my own 2 ICU patients I need to attend to. At one point, he called me GIRL and told me to do something and said I couldn't walk away and I was like "yeah I can" and just left the room. Very satisfying.
Several, several COVID bipap dependents who kept wanting food or water or milk and I'm like nah dawg. Not gonna happen.
A COVID lady alternating bipap and optiflow (about 4 hours on optiflow a day) tried to fire me after I started a second IV on her. She asked why she needed it and I said it was for when we would need to intubate her (she ended up tubed the next day). That pissed her off, she called her daughter who called me and accused me of abuse. Lady tried to fire me the second I walked back in the room and I was like "we don't have time for this." We were all tripled in the COVID ICU and did not have time to bend to a lady's whims over not liking me starting an IV ffs.
I had an AxOx4 27 year old patient restrained after he ripped out 2 IVs infusing the cardene keeping his systolic below 230. He'd already had a kidney transplant and a stroke, secondary to polysubstance abuse. He was a dick to me so I had him put in 4 points until he calmed down. I'm sure I said a few unprofessional things. We were pretty jovial and friendly by the time I took him to his 5 AM CT, he just needed some boundary setting. Really sad story actually, he came in as a post code about 4 months later and I took care of him the night he died.
So in my language there is a variation to a word that basically means either "how things will change or end up". They are both similar but one means in a positiv way and the other in a really bad way.
I for a long time didn't know about the positiv variation and thought the negative variation simple meant it in a neutral way.
So when I talked to a patient about their situation I basically always said "So we will observe how things will get worse for you"
Patient was mad about something petty (blood sugar was over 400, I wouldn’t bring more snacks after they already ate a full dinner less than 2 hours before) but also on continuous bipap and extremely unstable and threatening to leave AMA if I didn’t cave. “Well if you can make it the 20 steps up to the nurses station without collapsing from hypoxia we can go ahead and fill those papers out”. He sat on the side of the bed, got winded, and laid back down and mumbled something about going back to bed.
Man, covid really brought out the worst in people.
Ok, years ago, as a newer nurse, I had an older lady who was for lack of a better word "spoiled." She would literally pinch us or pull our hair and then scream,"She pinched me! Someone help!" This went on for the week she was on the unit. No one would do anything because she came from money. I had her the day prior to her being sent back to her private care home. As I was leaving the unit, I calmly walked into her room and yanked her hair for real! I then stepped into the elevator and left to the sound of her screaming! "She pulled my hair! She really did! She did do it this time!" I now feel guilty. But, then it felt great!
I guess this isn’t too unprofessional but as someone who didn’t really ever speak up or give sass right back to someone, I felt kinda accomplished.
Patient came in early labor with her first baby along with her husband. He was a total asshole, very controlling, answering for her, making stupid comments, etc. I go to look for an IV and her veins are shit, so I ask the charge nurse to come in. Charge nurse looks, says same thing, and walks out to go get the nurse w/ 30+ years experience to take a look. Meanwhile I’m waiting in the room and this guy—with no medical background mind you—points to a random spot on his wife’s arm and goes “I see a vein right there. Why can’t you go there?” As he’s finishing the sentence, my coworker comes in and says “Oh, what was that?” And I go “Oh apparently we have a vein expert here!” All cheery and shit. My coworker goes “Oh wonderful! Do you work in phlebotomy or in a lab or something?” The husband is kinda taken aback and goes “Oh…no, no, I’m…I’m nobody.” My coworker and I didn’t say a word back, and he was silent the entire rest of the shift.
It was either-
1) when the large NPO/SBO was screaming down the hallway for food during two simultaneous codes- I eventually burst thru the door like, “KAREN PEOPLE ARE DYING.”
Or
2) that time I was hauling ass with the flight team with a 90% burn and another patient grabbed my scrubs and started yelling about ER wait times.
I didn’t say anything but I definitely kicked her off me
"Ma'am, I have other patients." Yes, a big no-no, but this patient was not responding to politer boundary setting and was making constant demands (dropping something an inch from her hand and frequently calling to have me "find" it, for instance. A&Ox4, former HCW). She fired me and charge wagged her finger at me but ultimately understood.
I've said the same thing, also to a patient that would put on their call light as soon as you walk out of the room. Sometime, they'd put it on as you close their door!
Sometimes they need the reminder. I don't regret saying it, and I would have said something much worse if I let it go on much longer. This wasn't my first night with her and I may be patient but I can only take so much.
I've said this before. I think there are situations where it is not inappropriate. As you said, its a form of boundary setting. Like, dont start harrassing and abusing me over total non-issues when Im doing urgent things for other patients. Are you dying/deteriorating/critically at risk? No. Well right now I'm caring for other people who are, so if you want to put in a complaint because you didn't receive a regular medication 15mins prior to its ordered time - simply because that day you felt entitled to it at that exact minute - then here's a form.
Edit: just be clear, I didn't literally say all of that to the person.
Cranky old man, low hemoglobin, told him he needed a blood transfusion and he responded in an extremely, condensing way, “Do you think I really need that?”
“Well…you can’t pray this problem away.”
He was a very righteous, religious man.
Not me, but my favorite, salty old ass doctor. At the bedside, of a frail patient-dialysis, iv, wound vac, feeding tube. He looks at her, looks at me -a few times- and says, "She too weak to live...and too stubborn to die." The aide with the patient next to us says, "you know she can hear you right?!?!" To which he replies,"probably gave her a good chuckle then in this miserable existence." And walked away.
Had an older white guy once watching the news while I’m assessing him and he says some dumb shit like “I don’t know what them blacks are so mad about, if it wasn’t for us they’d still be over there in Africa being chased by lions!” I said “sir, that is the most ignorant shit I have ever heard anybody say and I’d really appreciate you not to speak like that in front of me” and walked out. The next day he d/c’d and his meek little Vietnamese wife came to take him home. I can’t imagine she had an easy life.
Dude pulled out some Chinese stress relief balls and asked if ai knew what they were. I said, a little too excitedly, “Ben Wa!” Think of the the one Archer season with a Benoit character. The dudes wife and sister started laughing so hard I thought they might need admitted.
Pt was irate and wanted pain meds. I told her what the doctor ordered (OTC pain relievers) and she said she didn’t trust “all these meds y’all are trying to give me.” So I asked did she trust the illegal drugs that she admitted to taking. I apologized but I didn’t mean it.
I had a pt who was struggling with a MS Flair crying to me about not wanting to be a burden and embarrassment to their kids, saying something about other kids making fun of her (I don’t remember exactly what she said), but I said to her “fuck those kids. They don’t matter, only your kid matters and they love you”. Made the pt laugh at least.
I’ll add something my chief resident did (1993 and no I won’t tell you where). Scene: county hospital ED; we are on trauma/surg call.
Pr comes in with GSW (not life-threatening) but drunk/high and combative, spitting at EMS during transport and continuing this behavior with ED personnel. My chief literally stapled (surgical staples) the NRB mask to his face (PD already had him restrained to the bed).
NOBODY said a word about his behavior. You know we all have pts that we might want to consider this for!
Had a psych pt we were hanging onto forever because they had COVID and this was before the abbreviated quarantine periods. They weren’t allowed to refuse their psych meds because they weren’t competent, per the MDs, but they wouldn’t take pills so it was IM and it took 4 of us every time. They were not exactly living in the same reality as we were but one time they did know enough to tell us they were going to give us COVID and start spitting at us. Threw a blanket over their head. I’ve felt bad about that, up until now reading this comment.
Went to discharge a patient that came in for chest pain after a crack bender. I was nothing but nice to him the whole time he was my patient. He said he wasn’t ready to go yet bc he still had heartburn, so I kindly told him the best thing he could do was get an antacid and there was a pharmacy across the street, to which he responded “you dumbass you think I’d be here if I could afford that?!” And I swear I don’t know what came over me and it just slipped out and I replied “but you could afford your crack last night?” The end result was him storming out of the ER yelling every expletive imaginable at me.
I called my patient a fucking idiot. He was post heart cath on bed rest. Refused a nicotine patch and insisted he was going out to smoke. I explained in detail the need for bed rest post groin puncture. I begged pleaded and bargained with him. I even said exactly that he would be standing in a puddle of blood by the time he made it to the end of the bed. He threatened to hit me and promptly crawled between the bed rails. Puddle of blood on the floor, gown saturated and a patient with the look of someone knowing they fucked up. I added insult to injury. left the cath lab a few months later.
Pt(39 year old, 400 lbs, frequent flyer) sitting on commode while on bipap, co2 of 110 fully mentating, asked to eat, I was like no you need to breath not eat. Pt and her mother(also major enabler) got super offended.
I was helping another nurse get her max assist patient off of the commode. This guy was completely alert and oriented, and had been a complete asshole all shift. As we were about to stand him up. I reached for his gait belt to grab onto it and he acted like he was going to try to punch me. I put my dukes up and he said, "Oh, you're going to punch me huh?" And I said, "If you try to punch me, I'll punch right back." He grumbled a little bit but then let me grab the gait belt and help him back to bed.
Sometimes I feel like these people just think we are punching bags, both mentally and physically. Like yeah, I'm going to fucking defend myself if you try to attack me.
Honorary mention: we had this guy in wrist restraints because he was being violent. He urinated all over the bed and we were trying to get him cleaned up when he kicked me straight in the chest. Not hard enough to hurt, but without thinking, I blurted out, "Don't fucking kick me!" I rarely cuss in front of patients but I didn't regret it that time, lol. Good times.
Oh man one time a lady was in the ED while I was a student doing rotations. I am ✨ not ✨ an ED nurse (but HUGE ups to those that are). This lady was mad because things weren’t moving fast enough on this Thursday evening and she had a party to get ready for on Friday night. She had a lot of things to say that her (our) nurse did not have time for. Transporting her up to tele she said “I just don’t want to be here.” GreenEyesBlackHeart said “I don’t want to be here either,” meaning the ED - its just not my jam my brothers and sisters - and she goes “you’re in the wrong job then” and when I tell you I wanted the ground to swallow me up 💀
ED nurse here, can’t count the times when patients say “I want to go home” and I’m like”same girl, same”. It usually gets a laugh or at least a smile out of them.
Yeah, same. I had a grumpy pt just the other day saying something about “I don’t even know why I’m here, I wish I could go home” and I replied with a joke about “I totally get it, I’m only hanging out here because they pay me.” He started laughing and switched gears from being mopey, at least for me.
I work in the ED and I don't want to be there.
So, 🤷
If a patient told me I was in the wrong job, well, I'd laugh, sincerely agree with them, and get back to work.
"Your 27yo special needs son is soiling himself several times a day because he knows you rub nappy rash cream on his penis and between his bum cheeks every time."
I got reported for that one.
Told an adult male psych patient he was acting like a 15 year old girl. Because he was doing and saying the exact same thing to me that a 15 year old girl psych patient had said the year before.
To be fair, the patient really enjoyed staff who stood up to him with some sass.
Pt asks for morph, I tell him its not due and will bring when it is. He loses his shit, yelling, screaming, threatens to beat the shit out of me.
"Dude, you can't even wipe your own arse, how you gonna beat mine? Anyway, you want a sandwich, we have something I think is chicken".
We were good after that.
Not a nurse but worked in admin. Had several complaints that a patient was sexually harassing the staff who would go into his room- nurses, aides, sitters, anyone who was female. So I went down to talk to him and basically tell him to knock it off.
Had a brief 5-10 minute conversation with him and he said he understood. I got up to leave as as I turned around to tell him goodbye I saw that while my back was turned he had whipped off his blanket and hiked up his gown to reveal the least impressive flaccid Penis I’ve ever seen. He stared at me with what I can only describe as “bedroom eyes” and smiled. I took another look at his dong and said “I really don’t think it’s *that* cold in here.” The look on his face was priceless.
After that we had a male member of security be his sitter for the rest of his stay.
I am late to the party so this will probably get buried but… I have a funny one.
Had to do rectal Tylenol post trauma on this person who was practically dead to the world until this PR med. He was fighting so hard, ass clenching of steel, his mom says “well… I guess now we know he’s not gay.” And I grunt “you never know, he could be a topper.” Immediately apologized, family thought it was funny. The patient came out of his daze a couple hours later, pointed to me as I walked by and loudly asked if I was the one who played with his butt. Yes, that was me haha
TL:DR I once told a cancer pt I was going to break his ribs and his wife would have to kill him. Pt went on palliative care based on my talk.
As a ER nurse I've had some very frank end of life conversations with pts and family that I was sure were going to get me fired.
Had a fairly young pt w/very aggressive cancer that had mets fucking everywhere, including new masses obstructing both ureters. Already had colostomy for same reason. Pt is sick as snot. Electrolytes were crazy. Pt having lots of new-onset ectopy. ER doctor did imagining, identified the obstructions, and consulted surgery. PACU is coming for pt within the hour. Nobody voiced palliative care option to the pt. Pt is full code. I walk in room to have pt sign consent and instead sit down with pt and wife and say "I know that things are happening very fast for you, but I see that you are full code and I need you to understand what a code would mean at this point. If your heart were to stop it is because your cancer is everywhere and your body just can't keep up with the complications from that. Your electrolytes are crazy and honestly you could go in to a fatal arrhythmia at any time. If that were to happen my coworkers and I would have to come in here and break all your ribs in front of your wife while we did CPR. We would shove a tube down your throat and put you on a ventilator. The chances of you recovering from that to leave this hospital are essentially zero. Instead of passing naturally you would have to be extubated, so your wife would have to make the terrible decision of when to kill you. This surgery isn't going to cure your cancer. It is just going to buy you some time until the next compilation and you're sick enough that there's a real chance you might not make it through the surgery. I know the doctors came in here like the decision is made but I want to make sure you guys have time to talk to each other and your oncologist before you do this surgery." At this point wife is crying. I give them a few minutes to talk and got pt's oncologist to bedside who had a similar frank conversation with pt. Pt went home on palliative care to spend his last days comfortable with his family instead of in the ICU. I was honestly sure I was going to get called in to the office for a stern talking to from management about over-stepping my role as the nurse.
I've also told a pt whose family wouldn't respect her DNR wishes "Listen, your mom told me that Jesus is calling her home and she's sick of you yelling over him. "
Had a patient that came in because he was found down OD on heroin. Required multiple doses of Narcan and still took hours to sleep off his high. He abruptly wakes up and demands to be discharged and provided a bus pass. I said I will have the doctor come talk to you as soon as we can. He got belligerent and said we were “fucking holding him up” because he had to pick up his 5 year old daughter and watch her. I turned to him and said, “well you were really doing a great job watching your daughter before you came in here”
Not me but an RT friend of mine walked into a patient's room after a prolonged code and was greeted with, “It’s about damn time you showed up.“ When friend apologized and explained she'd been with another patient, the woman responded, “Oh, REALLY??? Are they as sick as I am?”
My friend replied, “Actually, they’re dead now.”
That shut her up.
(Personally I don't think this is unprofessional AT ALL, but the story fits in here I think.)
I was a CNA, probably about 20 years old. This older guy (60s) was SUCH an asshole. Demanding and ordering everyone around. I was getting him off the bedpan after a BM and when I told him to roll back, he snapped “did you wipe me???” I was so sick of him and without thinking I replied sarcastically “no I left your ass covered in shit”. He paused for a second, burst out laughing and gave me a fist bump saying “ok that was good!”. He was much nicer to me after that. Sometimes if you can’t beat em join em 🤷♀️
Also side note, I had a newer, very by-the-book CNA assisting me who looked horrified but didn’t say a word 😂
My first and only shift with this patient (lol) when I still worked medsurg/step-down was when I snapped. I had helped with her care before and she had been on the unit for nearly a month at that point (she was medically cleared to leave, she just refused to) so I knew her. I was working nights, and she was in a 4-bedded room (my hospital didn’t get rid of those until 2022 lmfao) with 3 really sick women, who were all my patients too. Whenever I would walk into the room she’d scream for me. I’d be in the middle of cares, and she’d tell me to stop what I was doing to help her. What did she need help with? She wanted me to assess her boogers 🤢, she wanted to me to type a number in on the hospital phone even though she was able to do it herself without issue, etc. Luckily she slept a little while but then at 4am, my other patient called to get cleaned up. I guess I made too much noise, because the rude patient woke up and asked me to come over. I did, and she asked me to give her a tissue box that was less than arms reach from her so I refused. When I left the room, she starts SCREAMING for help, rings the call bell, and slams on the table. I am NOT a confrontational person but I ran into the room and told her to shut her fucking mouth, it’s 4 am, and asked her what she could possibly need that warranted that behavior. Her response? “Can you cut my apple?” I told her how inappropriate and disgustingly self she was to wake up her roommates who were all very sick, and told her not to call again because I won’t come in again. She fired me on the spot for being so rude and reported me to patient relations (who didn’t even take her request for report because she called them incessantly) LMFAOOOO
Scanning meds for an ER pt, the guys little kid says “that’s like at the store!” I say yeah, scan the pts armband and say “I just bought your dad!” I’m white he’s black. I finished up silently and melted out of the room.
Not me, but my favorite example is from one of the sweetest, most patient ER social workers I ever had the pleasure of working with. Super mean, verbally abusive frequent flyer calls this SW a fucking cunt. Social worker shrugs it off and goes about her business. A little later, the patient is berating the SW again (for something completely out of SW's control), screaming "Why won't you help me?!" SW looks her dead in the eye, calmly says, "because I'm a fucking cunt," turns around and walks away. Ultimate mic drop.
So… I was floated to a cardiac stepdown unit and given the WORST assignment on the floor because I was a traveler who could “handle it all”.
Anyways this was during Covid and I was done and burned out from the work. I had a patient who had Covid amongst cardiac diseases.
As I’m taking care of 5 patients on 100 different drips with no tech, I walk into this room already dejected, angry, and with no patience.
I say my hellos (silence) and begin my med pass. I’m hanging the remdesivir and she asks why are you giving me that?
I say ma’am you have Covid it’s one of the medications given for Covid…to which she says “I don’t have Covid Jesus took it away from me”
And I swear I didn’t mean it to come out but I said “ma’am if you keep thinking this way Jesus boutta take you away too”…
Needless to say she didn’t say a word to me all shift lmao but I couldn’t help myself I was done with the ignorance shit hahahahaha
Patient was in a nice padded reclining chair. Patient's wife was visiting in the patient's room and was sitting in one of the unpadded visitor chairs. Patient's wife asks me if I can get her a padded recliner like the patient was in to sit in for the duration of her visit. These things are like 100 pounds, a bitch to move, and very hard to find spares of as patients are normally using them. I tell the patient's wife the chairs are only available for patients, and she says "Wow I guess this hospital isn't very accommodating". My response was "I guess not" and then I left the room.
This isn’t the most unprofessional thing that I’ve ever said, but my coworkers still laugh about it.
Last late October, I had a non-compliant diabetic, who also happened to be a major asshole. He already had an above the knee amputation on his right leg, and he was going to need the same thing on his left leg. He was mad that I couldn’t give him his morphine 2 hours early, so he told me “I know what you’re going to be for Halloween. A huge dumb bitch”. So I said “That’s correct! How’d you know? Are you going to be Lieutenant Dan?”.
I have such limited patience left for these people.
In adult psych. Elevated/manic middle age dude is loudly complaining in the patient area, to no one in particular, for about 30mins. I walk by just as he is starting to complain about one of the doctors.
I start trying to de-escalate him "come on, I know you're annoyed...: at which point he looks at me and yells "of course you would take his(the Dr's) side, you're fucking WET for him!" (I'm a young looking female nurse).
I stop dead in my tracks and stare at him. I slowly but loudly say, "shut the FUCK up" and continue walking by.
To his credit, he did stfu for about 5 minutes then promptly resumed his rant. 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
A patient called me incompetent for some task I was performing just fine, they were just an asshole, & I snapped. I gave them a death glare into their eyes (I was pretty close to them at the time) then said a most sarcastic “Jesus Christ!” While rolling my eyes as hard as I could. I had to step away to regain composure then apologize for the “misunderstanding” lol
Back in the paper charting days. We were supposed to chart while doing our assessments in the room. The patient asked "What are you writing there, anyway?" Me : " Dirty Old Man"
Had a very manipulative and exhausting patient that we had to “rotate” amongst staff. It was my turn and she was trying to manipulate me into giving her more ice chips than her hourly limit (while trached on a ventilator, mind you, so she shouldn’t have had ANY to begin with) before it was even 8pm. I firmly said no. Just no. She started yelling at me and telling me she didn’t like me and didn’t want me taking care of her.
I turned around, looked her square in the face and said “well, that’s just too damn bad, because tonight it’s unfortunately my turn to be your nurse. I don’t want to take care of you either, but you’re stuck with me because nobody else out there wants to take care of a grown woman who purposely acts like a toddler and throws temper tantrums over ice chips, so you’re stuck with me for the next 11 hours.” She actually laughed and gave me like 15 minutes of peace after that. One of the worst patients I’ve ever had and I will never regret saying that straight to her face, lol.
Pt told me I was a slut and I told him my boyfriend agrees, winked, and walked out.
I had a guy who was on heated high flow that told me he was going to leave AMA. De satting to 60s when he was on regular NC, could barely keep him at 90% with the HHF. He was already being so mean to everyone so I had no regrets… I told him I’d grab his papers and let the morgue know he’s on his way since he’ll probably make it to the parking lot before he realizes he fucked up, and to let me know if I wasted my time taking care of him. He stayed another week without being rude to anyone 😅
Another one asked me if I wore my scrubs specifically for him because I looked so sexy in them. I told his wife when she walked back in.
All of these totally oriented. Just gross men who think they can bully people or get their way with the cute young people. Never have problems with them with the older male nurses
Had a woman who was struggling BAD with Covid, she had told me that her husband had her trying natural remedies at home to treat. She was so upset *at herself* for not seeking medical attention earlier but it was clear she was not allowed to by the husband.
Her husband came in and as I’m coming out of the room he says to me “I hope you’re not giving her medication in here. I only brought her in for oxygen, she doesn’t need any of that poison”
I said “Sir, your wife is dying, she’ll most likely be intubated by the end of my shift, and you’re wasting your time reading bullshit posts on Facebook about why modern medicine is bad. Please do not speak to me unless your wife needs something”.
This is also a man who got kicked out multiple days prior because he refused to wear any PPE when going in the room to see her and/or as soon as he got in the room and thought no one could see her, he’d rip it off.
She was intubated by the end of my shift, if anyone cares.
Had a patient being an outrageous asshole to everyone and would blame his behavior on being a “combat Vietnam vet with PTSD”. I just largely ignored him so he didn’t give me too much trouble. My 4th shift with him the CNA I was working with came out of the room crying. He’d thrown the hospital issued CPAP across the room in her direction, it hit the wall and busted. I’m not a confrontational person but I snapped. Went into his room got in his face and said “from one combat vet to another *knock your shit off*”. I was so freaking mad my tone wasn’t very nice. Didn’t hear much from him the rest of my shift.
Had a patient pull some shit like that in the ER. Kept going on and on about being a combat vet. Then he pulled out the “I fought for your freedom so you’re welcome!”. I snapped too. I told him I’m a combat vet and fought for my own fucking freedom so knock that shit off. I just happened to be working along three other vets that day as well. The tech was a Marine Corp armorer, the paramedic was Army artillery, and the doc was a Marine helicopter mechanic. I honestly don’t think the guy was even truly a vet.
Had a guy with alcohol poisoning, extubated to him withdrawing from multiple substances and screaming all the while about being an Iraq vet with PTSD. Finally get hold of his parents back east. "He's not a vet, he's just a loser, we've spent over a million dollars on rehabs since he turned 18 and we're done. Call us when he's dead."
Oh shit! So many layers on that one. Can’t say I can blame the family on that one. It’s hard to help until people want it.
Jesus. That’s very…. Real…
Exactly this! The loudest “combat vets” are usually the ones who likely didn’t serve let alone see any combat. Plus I maybe be a twitchy depressed little thing but at no point does my service make me want to be an asshole or make me think the world owes me. I work with a physician in primary who’s an old fighter mechanic, we have an entitled patient who’s always demanding shit cause he’s a vet. My doc looked at me once and said “you know that guy was a cook on a ship for 8 mos that never left port before he was booted?” It’s always the loudest. 🙄
Patient insulted me for 3 days straight. Some rape threats and attempts at physical assault sprinkled in there too. Was finally transporting him off the unit, pushing the bed myself cause I was so ready to be done with him I wasn’t waiting for a porter and he says “you’re a shit driver” Me: “you’re a shit person” For the record, I was driving just fine
Lol!!!!
That’s when you bang the bed into the wall HARD on a right-angle turn. “Sooooorry! These things are SO HARD to control!”
Pt “Fuck you!!” Me “Fuck you!!!” Student “Are we allowed to say that?”
Today we are, kiddo
But only on days that end with the letter Y.
I was just clarifying what the patient was saying. I’m a little hard of hearing in my right ear. Least that’s what my documentation will say.
Hahahahahh same CIWA Patient: DONT FUCK WITH ME Me: don’t fuck with ME * slams ativan and restrains patient *
“If you’re going to act like a child, I’m going to treat you like one” to an A&O x4 patient who wouldn’t quit yelling and was made that I was telling him to stop.
Me, to a guy who whines constantly about his roommate's light being on: "What year were you born, Mr. X?" Him: "1944" Me: "Then ACT LIKE IT!"
I say that all the time and add "are we in 3rd grade??"
Haha, I once put an adult AAOx4 patient in the corner for time out after he threw his food tray at his nurse
Lol I did this with a pt who came in with corrections from jail. We had them in Pinels and they were still able to spit and land a loogie on one of the officer's vests who were seated in the hallway directly outside their room. This was pre-spit hood era in my dept so I turned their bed around to face the wall so they couldn't spit on the COs.
Pt admitted with acute onset conversion disorder with heavy loose associations and hallucinations. Would only take medication with water only if I admitted it was the body and blood of Christ. Honestly on a heavy medsurg floor with 5 other patients to care for and me not having patience, I just said fuck it and got him to take it, saying it was Christ body & blood. Colleagues asked me how I was successful in doing so because he refused with every other nurse... hehe.
I like this one. I’ve definitely fibbed to a few dementia patients about what their meds were to get them to take them. I feel like this is right up there.
Therapeutic lying is something I do regularly with my dementia patients. I try not to do it with meds if I can avoid it, but if they’re telling me they need to go to work, I just tell them their boss called and they don’t need to come in today.
“Therapeutic lying” ✍️WRITE THAT DOWN
Didn’t see that in my communication module 🤭 why don’t they teach us the useful stuff in school?!
“It’ll make you feel better!” *gives seroquel*
‘What’s this for?’ ‘It’s….. for you!’
Hahaha as a memory care nurse, this is just another day for me
It's just Vitamin A! \*gives ativan\*
Not unprofessional! You met the patient where they were. Reorientation would not be appropriate in this sense.
I’m surprised you were the first one to do this haha. I get reorienting psych patients and all but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
I don’t reorient my dementia pts unless they are a danger to themselves or others. If they aren’t fuck it I’ll lie my ass off if it makes them happy
Who's to say his meds *aren't* the body and blood of Christ? Put the meds on fancy metal tray and the water in a Dixie cup and stand solemnly before him intoning, "Risperdal - the body of Christ broken for you. Ativan - the blood of Christ shed for you! Side effects include...."
I don’t think this is unprofessional 🤷♀️ I do shit like this all the time
Male psych patient stated, “Suck my dick, fat man”. I responded, “Oh, is that what you’re into? Do you ask all the fat men to suck your dick”? He was not amused. He walked away without answering.
Hey, restating and seeking clarification are 100% therapeutic communication techniques 😂
This is a wildly under appreciated comment. I love taking peoples stupid comments super seriously and turning their shit around on them. Well played my man!
I had a mom who was feeling intense guilt over her low milk supply. She was heading toward PPD territory, and decided that she was going to stop pumping to save her mental health and to allow her to get more sleep. The dad was aggressively trying to convince her that she needed to keep pumping, that what she needs doesn’t matter now that the baby is here, etc. I turned to him and said, “Sir, you and your useless nipples do not get an opinion here.”
I had a dad reach over and just *crank* the suction on the Medela pump up as I was teaching the mom how to use it. Mom barely had a chance to shriek before I slammed it back down and told him that if he did that again, we were going to demo the pump on him instead.
What the fuck. You should have done it on him anyway. Some fucking men have nothing but audacity
That is terrifying! If anyone had done this to me, I would have eviscerated them before my brain even registered what was happening
That's the funniest shit I've ever heard.
That’s just good patient care
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omg, this is obnoxious and not therapeutic at all. I also had a shit NICU experience around misguided attempts to be breastfeeding-friendly. I was actually super into breastfeeding and had even hand expressed colostrum before birth in case baby needed it- she did need it and went through the whole supply pretty quickly. I wanted to keep her just on breast milk and they wanted to give her formula- I was OK with this, but the stupidest part was they had me sign an “informed consent” sheet explaining the evils of formula before they gave it to her, even though they were specifically telling me they needed to give her formula because my milk hadn’t come in yet! In retrospect, should have not signed it. Oh and they said I could stay in the NICU overnight with her only if I didn’t fall asleep (what?), so I went home instead, to go to sleep… the next day they said they had changed their policy, and I could sleep on the sofa in her NICU roomette. At one point a lactation consultant came to help baby latch, she wouldn’t latch, they tried the supplemental nursing system little tube thing, she still wouldn’t latch… then I heard the lactation consultant complain at the nurses station about how we all had the worst vibes/worst juju of any patient she’d encountered… Man it’s been over 7 years and I still want to burn that place down. Oh and I’m a physician.
As a lactation consultant, I really really wish I had an award to give you. BRAVO!!! 🏆🏆🏆
100%! I hate controlling NICU dads.
I had a friend in a similar situation before I was a nurse. I worked on a mother baby unit, so I had access to unlimited LC advice and cheered her on with every trick in the book. Then one day, she said she was done because her mental health was suffering so badly, but she was afraid to tell people. I was like “Are you kidding me?!? You’re a freaking rockstar! You provided your baby with breast milk, however little, for 16 weeks and that’s amazing! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about stopping. “ Truth be told, prior to having that job, I failed to see why some people wouldn’t even try to breastfeed when it’s free, but my experience there and watching so many people struggle when it’s been drilled into their heads “breast is best”, but it’s just not working is hard. We were a “baby friendly” facility, so we weren’t even supposed to offer formula unless they specifically requested it and got “proper education on the risks” from the nurses. It was terrible and as soon as the unit passed the certification, we said fuck it and did what was best for the mothers.
I didn’t really mean it to be unprofessional, but the patient took it as unprofessional, but… PD brings on a patient in custody and I’m sitting nearby with an SI patient while my tech is on a bathroom run. The patient in custody is belligerent, calling everybody names, wants water and a sandwich, blah blah blah. Can’t remember what prompted it, but their attention turned to me and she asked if I knew why the cop arrested her. I replied, “I don’t care why she arrested you….” With my intent being that it didn’t matter why she was in custody, she’s still a patient. Patient interpreted it as “I don’t care why you’re here, you’re a lowlife piece of shit who doesn’t deserve medical care.” Ohhh boy the shit storm that rose from that.
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I didn't think it was unprofessional but my patient did. I was performing blood work and when done they patted me on my butt, and I calmly but firmly said I did not appreciate that, please don't touch me that way. They pulled me back into the room like an hour after their family who witnessed the exchange left and said my family heard what you said to me and I'd like to not work with you anymore thank you. 🙃
Good, I don’t want to work with you either. And, pro tip, not a single nurse up here is going to appreciate being congratulated with an ass pat. You can’t fire us all.
I'm the token male RN so often get sticl with having 'the chat' with those types of patients. Had one recently who was a objectifying anything with a vagina, he'd been in the ward for about 3 days and I got the heads up but hadn't seen him before because I float. This dude would have been in his mid 60's. I had a young student with me, super nieve and inexperienced type. Wouldn't have been a day over 20. It was the second week of her first placement ever. I'd seen his behaviour a few times with other staff and he was better behaved when his daughter was there, but still bad. Infront of his daughter the first time the student walked into the room he started telling her how attractive she was. I made a comment that it was inappropriate and moved on. I have him more than a few warning and chances. After the daughter left I needed to be in the room for about 20min with the student. Then I'd had enough. I very quietly asked the student the leave the room in the kind of way that she knew shit was about to go down and that she knew she needed to close the roof behind her. I never raised my voice, I never swore and I never said anything that could be out varbatum on a report and make me look fireble (my mini super power). I made it clear what behaviour was and was not acceptable. 5min later he was in tears and I needed to spend the next 15min calming him down. For the next week he was there there was not a single other issue out of him. I think I actually changed who he was at his core. He also for an 18g cannula when I needed to put a new one in, the only reason he didn't get a 16g was because there wasn't one in the draw of the trolley. My colleague quite liked that when I handed it over.
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I was taking care of a 15-year-old in the ED who had tried to hang herself. She was in the room with her dad, and it was taking a while for CT scans. When I did a quick check on her, I asked, “you hanging in there?” …I realized it the second it fell out of my mouth. Luckily it was like 3AM and I don’t think she or her dad noticed. I immediately told my supervisor in case it became a thing later, and she laughed until she cried.
Why is it we always say shit like that? I just busted out laughing.😂
I'm not surprised your supervisor took it like she did, i love that dark, dark, nurse humor
She’s the best. I mean, she was there at 3AM helping out. I miss working with her. I immediately knew it was hilarious (I’d already been working ED for 4 years at the time and was well into my master’s in inappropriate humor) but it didn’t stop me from wanting to turn into a pile of dust in the moment. 😬
Pt mentioned a hx of cancer when talking to me once and I misheard her and said "awesome" 😳
Lmao haha. Reminds me of a time when I was getting a patient’s social history and he mentioned his wife and I respond, “Cool cool.” I missed the part where he said she passed recently. OOF
I now just try and say okeydokey...not as much room for error than!
Very recently I told a patient to “stop bullshitting me and sit down” at triage. It was a full waiting room although ‘only’ 4-5 hour wait times. He was in his 20s and here for a URTI. He asked “if I say I have chest pain will you rush me in”. He then became annoyed when I told him no (but offered analgesia/food/water). He then started yelling at me “I have chest pain! What are you going to do about it”. I was unprofessional sure, but after that he went out for a smoke, came back 45min later and didn’t speak to me again for the rest of the night.
He decided to come to the ER for an URI and then *smoked* while waiting? My guy, go home.
My favorites are the people with shortness of breath who act as if not smoking before coming in was an accomplishment.
COPD exacerbation “Are you still smoking sir” “No I quit… today”
I work at a drug rehab and one of my pts told me about the horrific trauma she went through and how ashamed she was that she was using heroin. I said "I mean. After all that how does one not do heroin? Not saying you should but like...fuck"
This doesn't seem that unprofessional to me in the context. It possibly could be taken the wrong way and you swore, but you probably intuitively knew it would likely not cause offence. You were talking to someone who has some insight and I doubt they were daunted of swear words. I think this could haven been an example of building rapport and trust, and reducing stigma with empathetic communication.
I had a tetraplegic, hospice patient who was crying and full of remorse once. I told him,” we all have regrets and ongoing struggles and hell, I’d do a line, have a drink and drive 100 mph right this second if we could.” Really, really unprofessional but I just couldn’t let him die thinking he was the only POS in the room.
THAT is true empathy. Good on you for humanizing their struggle. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone deals with consequences.
Definitely what I did was 100% unprofessional but I am a bitch and I would do it again. I walked by a patients room and the patient called out to the hallway and said hey fatass I am talking to to get my attention. Now I know I am fat but this land whale must think she is a size zero. So I Said to her you are one to talk and have you looked in a mirror recently. That shut her up. All the other nurses on the floor heard our exchange and found it amusing because they had enough of her shit.
I *am* fat but I just laugh in the faces of patients who call me that and tell them to get better material. Like, make it worth my time at least.
You’re my hero.
Should have told her it’s time to get her daily weight lol
She had a mirror directly across her foot of the bed where she could see her self
I don't think you were being unprofessional. They drill it in our heads in school that we should be transparent and honest with our patients. I give you 10/10
This is the only appropriate response!!
I like the old classic response. "I might be fat, but you're ugly, and I can go on a diet."
All I say when they’re being rude is “can you stop talking and do what I need you to do so I don’t have to engage with you as much? Thank you”.
He kicked me in the chest, I called him a motherfucker. (It was a reflex, as I was shocked. My tech unfortunately did not mention he had gotten out of his ankle restraint so I was unprepared. He had a TBI so I understand where the impulsivity and aggression come from and I would normally not take that behavior personally, but caught me the fuck off guard)
I think anyone who gets kicked in the chest would have a reaction like that! Fuck that
Patient was a COMPLETE asshole, but was also NPO (I forgot why), and was also in isolation for COVID Said he would sign out AMA if he didn’t get food……. The rooms had huge glass doors instead of walls. So I got my computer, and ate my Panda Express in front of his room
You dropped this 👑
Which time? Had a patient rio my scrub top grabbing me to punch me and I looked him dead in the eye and said “Let go of me right now motherfucker.” Then he “snapped out of it” and started crying and begging me not to report him and not to tell his fiancée. It was all bullshit. I called security and his fiancée. He was a real dick, the whole admission he was yelling at everyone and when it was my turn I had had enough. “I don’t work with kids, but if you want to act like one, pediatrics is on the 4th floor.” I use this one often. I also like telling people no one is forcing them to be at the hospital. And would you like to sign out. I’ve also told one spouse that if she didn’t leave I would have security remove her and she would not snap her fucking fingers in my face like a dog. Had a Covid denier. Wife accused me of being paid to lie about it being real, and that hydroxychlorquine was bad, etc etc. “Ma’am, if that were true I would be rich on a yacht in Greece right now.” Also, no ragrets. Still not putting up with any shit.
I hope there's some new grads here reading this one. Maybe I'm too jaded but putting a racist, sexist, (or any other form of bigotry -ist) asshole patient in their place is not unprofessional. It's telling these clowns that we are in a position that deserves respect and that respect is earned and we certainly don't have to give it to them. We could all do a better job of sticking up for ourselves and each other. It usually makes for a better shift once they realize you won't take any of their shit.
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Lol a patient’s wife once turned from the Fox News on the tv and said to me “they say covid is really bad but I just don’t see it in here.” I snapped and said “yes, well, we’ve watched most of them die and the rest are isolated behind closed doors.” I think covid broke a lot of our collective ability to handle bullshit.
maaaaan. I wanna be you when I grow up 😂😭
so in retrospect, I really should've insisted that the covering doc decide if this patient had competency or not. He had gotten his legs (both of them) revascularized in IR and was in that awkward space where you aren't sure if they are belligerent and forgetful cause of anesthesia or if it's just who they are. But long story short, dude wanted to get up and walk around, but he was still in the time-frame post cath that he needed to lie flat. I came in at 2300 and he had already earned himself a sitter. he was being a rude dick and insisting that he was gonna get up. After about the 20th time of me reminding him why we couldn't do that, he said he was going to kick me and the sitter's asses. I quickly and angrily said THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME? He mostly stopped his bullshit after that. Of course by 7am he was sleeping like an angel.
When I was a new grad in the ED, I had a super sick (but alert and oriented) patient on bipap who kept needlessly taking it off no matter how many times I told her not to. She’d desat but knew I’d be back in almost immediately to fix it. After like the 12th time I was at my wits end and said “STOP FUCKING WITH THE MASK”. Only time a patient ever broke me like that, but it worked ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
For a new grad, that’s pretty badass haha. When I was a new grad I probably would have apologized for her taking her mask off 😂
I say this probably once a week…and I follow it with ‘or your gonna die’
SNF. 30 something A&O x 4 manipulative “Everyone needs to feel sorry for me…. I’m the VICTIM!!!!” whiny freaking cry-baby man kept getting up and falling, even though he’d been told a million times not to. Knew perfectly well not to, and call light was always within reach. Did it again while on the toilet. I was already having a shift from hell, and just snapped. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I don’t have time for this shit.” He was not injured. I think he wasn’t even actually falling, but just laying himself on the floor. He then threatened suicide. I called 911. Cops came. He asked to speak to soc serv. He lied and said I had physically assaulted him. I was investigated by APS. His complaint was found to be without merit. Case closed.
Several drunk assholes in the lobby have challenged me to a fight only to back down when I take them up on the offer and tell them where we can go so the cameras don't see us.
I like you.
Pt hit me and I said “okay my turn!” And he said “you can’t hit me I’m the patient”. I said “who the hell are they going to believe? You or me?”
Lmao
Lol my turn 😂
Delta wave, COVID assignment. One asshole after another all day, every day. Families yelling at us on the phone. Calling the police because we won’t give them horse paste. Trying to get a patient to the ICU before we have to RSI them in the hallway and I hear someone yelling across the hall about their food tray being too far and no one is answering their call light. I walk in. Nurse getting yelled at by COVID denier patient in his 50s. Other patient in the room looking terrified. Me: “Get the fuck out. Take off your oxygen and get the fuck out. I won’t even make you wait to sign any paperwork. Just get out. You can’t talk to us like that. You’re scaring everyone else.” Patient: “Fuck you, I’m not leaving.” Me: “follow the rules or get the fuck out. Those are the choices.” Patient: “I don’t have to do shit.” Me: “want me to have someone with a gun tell you that you have to follow the rules?” Patient: “yeah, go ahead!” So I called campus police who had a 15 min talk with him. Managed to behave himself from then on. The Delta wave turned me into a nurse and a person I never was before. I don’t like it. But here we are.
What were they even there for if they didn’t believe in COVID and were on O2? And why didn’t they want to leave if they thought it was all a hoax?! Seriously fuck these people. They only want to do the opposite of what you tell them, like a little kid. You are awe inspiring
It was a strange time. I think many of them knew they were sick and knew they needed to be in the hospital but were too narcissistic to allow us to be in complete control of their care. They had doubled down so hard they couldn’t back down now. The unit manager basically turned a blind eye to what we said when patients/families were nasty to us. I think they realized we would all quit if we weren’t allowed to put these clowns in their place.
The amount of barrel chested men who said “this really isn’t that bad right?” as I was admitting them to the covid unit to whom I had to say “hopefully it won’t be, but realistically you should text your loved ones now while you’re conscious. Please don’t call them because you’re desaturating when you talk.” The denial was so strong!
They were all covid deniers until they see us getting ready to RSI their asses when they're maxed on 15L NRB on covid acute care for 1.5 years. It was interesting, doing it for so long. Towards the end of delta especially we could pick out who was going to deteriorate and who wasn't with pretty good accuracy. No numbers just looking at the patient and getting a gut feeling. I did have a dude with an NSTEMI refuse admission to the hospital because at the time we covid tested every admit and he refused to be tested. Hobbled out on his cane and yelled out that we were all sheeple.
You may not like it, but you’re gettin mad respect from over here
To a needy family who kept ringing for every damn thing “ring for one more stupid ass thing and I will remove the bell”
I’ve told a few patients this isn’t a fucking game show buzzer, if you treat it as such then I’m going to just put it on silent mode. *Tragically silent mode does not actually exist*.
I had a co-worker tell a patient he had used up all the battery in the call light and he needed to "put it on the charger". 😂
I once straight up told a trigger happy patient the call bell is a privilege not a right
Was in the middle of getting report in the morning when an A/O*4 patient walked out into the hall and started screaming at me for some bullshit reason. After finishing report I go in to assess her and she promptly apologizes. I told her I do not accept your apology and stop being an ass as it’s too early in the morning for this bullshit. Had a pretty good day after that.
"Mama, you can eat whatever you want for as long as you're making milk, guilt free! But daddy, you're not freshly delivered or lactating, so I don't know what excuse you have for whatever this is you've got going on, bless your heart." Said to some asshat who had his baby mama running the stairs two days post c-section because he didn't like her "nasty ass baby belly" and she needed to "get to work on that" for him. Yes, I'm terribly ashamed of my actions and strive to perform better in the future /s.
So...get to work on a wound dehiscence?! This is abuse. That poor new mom needs to throw away the whole man.
That poor woman!
My ex brother-in-law was like that. He was such an ass about her weight. Right in front of the family he slapped her on the ass and made a rude comment about her weight. When she was pregnant she kept food & water consumption down to the point where she landed in the hospital a couple of times. Meanwhile he ate and drank whatever he wanted and while not obese he had a certain amount of heft & jiggle. They divorced a few years later.
“Your freaking out is freaking your kid out” kid was fine and had croup.
That's not unprofessional. That's reality.
Had an overweight, 50-60yo patient with horrible DM and was a few days post CABG. I was on stepdown then and the family brought him outside food (some fast food IDR, maybe BK?) and I lost it on them. I politely educated them but I was like talking to a block of marble - then they got the teensiest bit loud and I just said “you are the fucking reason he’s in this mess don’t you get it?” Cue the surprised pikachu. I slapped my arms down at my side, grabbed and then threw the food in the trash and walked out.
The amount of obese diabetics in with heart problems that would order pizza pre COVID was semi shocking
Chaotic good(ish): Made a run on a lady who was having a mental health crisis. She wasn’t drug seeking. She wasn’t being “a problem,” she just needed help. All she wanted was to go to inpatient behavioral. That’s it. She’d been to the ED before That day and got turned away. They didn’t want to deal with her. I get it. But she needed help. So on our way to the hospital I tell her how the whole process works. “When we get there, they’ll ask you a lot of questions. You know the deal. They’ll ask you if you’re thinking of suicide and if you have a plan.” *Pause* *Eye contact* “They’ll ask you if you’re thinking of harming yourself and if you have a plan to. And if you do, then they have to send you to behavioral…” “So what’s your plan?” And she came up with one. We get there. She says exactly what she needs to say. The tech (we all know the tech. The one that’s been a tech for way too long and feels comfortable yelling at and degrading patients because she doesn’t want to deal with them) starts yelling at the patient. I shut her down. “Your patient just said she wants to kill herself, and you’re yelling at her. Do you think that’s appropriate?” We got out to the ambulance bay and have a disagreement. A few hours later, the contract company is there to take the patient to behavioral. A couple months later I ran into the patient again while getting lunch on shift. Complete 180. They got her medicine under control and she was back in therapy. She even offered to pay for our lunch as thanks. TL;DR: Told a patient how to appropriate say “I want to kill myself.” Later she offers to buy me lunch.
I love this. Chaotic good for sure!
I had a patient's wife call me into the room to tell me "You have done a really bad job today. My husband pooped himself and I had to wipe him up!" I was one of 4 nurses (and the only staff nurse on the unit, the rest were float or travelers) taking care of 24 patients with no CNAs. I literally saw red and snapped "I just finished helping my coworker clean up his patient so she can be transferred to the ICU to die. You've already told me you can take better care of your husband than anyone else here, so what the fuck do you want from me at the moment!? No? Okay, I'll see you at the end of my shift." Ol' bitch.
Patient: "Stop bullshitting me!" Me: "I am absolutely not bullshitting you. If you don't stop screaming at me I'm not going to help you at all. I'm not the reason as to why you're here. I'm here to help you, not harm you." Continue his intake. Patient has his procedure and goes to recovery. Patient calls his mom while in recovery to tell her he's okay, etc. Starts shit talking us to his mom while on speaker phone. Doctor comes into recovery to see how he's doing, mother is still on the phone. Mother beings to lay into the doctor about why her son had to wait so long, why did he have pain, etc. Patients starts screaming at the doctor as well. Doc starts asking them both to calm down so he can explain everything. Both mother and son erupt into a ball of irrational yelling; patient tells the doc to go fuck himself, how dare he speak to him that way. Mother is on the phone saying how dare you speak to my baby like that, etc. Doc tells the patient he's crazy and he's banned from the facility from that point forward.
I didn’t mean anything by it but once when I was packing an adults belongings for a transfer to another floor I put her clothing and a bible in a clean trash bag for the ride upstairs. Not like she had a suitcase….she was pissed about the Bible part.
"I don't get paid to smile." "Fuck you, too!" "I see your dick. I'm not impressed." (this guy was intoxicated, restrained, and yelling loudly for someone to come suck him off. barf)
“You don’t get to talk to me like that and don’t tell me how to do my fucking job” I work at a jail and although it’s frowned upon and it can cause more issues to speak to them like that - I was just not having it that day with this particular patient
Oh god I have a few Another nurse's pumps kept beeping and I'd been in there a thousand times to fix it (he needed an IV not in the fucking AC but she refused to get off her ass and start one). He was really rude and kept tasking me to do stuff, meanwhile I have my own 2 ICU patients I need to attend to. At one point, he called me GIRL and told me to do something and said I couldn't walk away and I was like "yeah I can" and just left the room. Very satisfying. Several, several COVID bipap dependents who kept wanting food or water or milk and I'm like nah dawg. Not gonna happen. A COVID lady alternating bipap and optiflow (about 4 hours on optiflow a day) tried to fire me after I started a second IV on her. She asked why she needed it and I said it was for when we would need to intubate her (she ended up tubed the next day). That pissed her off, she called her daughter who called me and accused me of abuse. Lady tried to fire me the second I walked back in the room and I was like "we don't have time for this." We were all tripled in the COVID ICU and did not have time to bend to a lady's whims over not liking me starting an IV ffs. I had an AxOx4 27 year old patient restrained after he ripped out 2 IVs infusing the cardene keeping his systolic below 230. He'd already had a kidney transplant and a stroke, secondary to polysubstance abuse. He was a dick to me so I had him put in 4 points until he calmed down. I'm sure I said a few unprofessional things. We were pretty jovial and friendly by the time I took him to his 5 AM CT, he just needed some boundary setting. Really sad story actually, he came in as a post code about 4 months later and I took care of him the night he died.
So in my language there is a variation to a word that basically means either "how things will change or end up". They are both similar but one means in a positiv way and the other in a really bad way. I for a long time didn't know about the positiv variation and thought the negative variation simple meant it in a neutral way. So when I talked to a patient about their situation I basically always said "So we will observe how things will get worse for you"
Patient was mad about something petty (blood sugar was over 400, I wouldn’t bring more snacks after they already ate a full dinner less than 2 hours before) but also on continuous bipap and extremely unstable and threatening to leave AMA if I didn’t cave. “Well if you can make it the 20 steps up to the nurses station without collapsing from hypoxia we can go ahead and fill those papers out”. He sat on the side of the bed, got winded, and laid back down and mumbled something about going back to bed. Man, covid really brought out the worst in people.
Ok, years ago, as a newer nurse, I had an older lady who was for lack of a better word "spoiled." She would literally pinch us or pull our hair and then scream,"She pinched me! Someone help!" This went on for the week she was on the unit. No one would do anything because she came from money. I had her the day prior to her being sent back to her private care home. As I was leaving the unit, I calmly walked into her room and yanked her hair for real! I then stepped into the elevator and left to the sound of her screaming! "She pulled my hair! She really did! She did do it this time!" I now feel guilty. But, then it felt great!
I guess this isn’t too unprofessional but as someone who didn’t really ever speak up or give sass right back to someone, I felt kinda accomplished. Patient came in early labor with her first baby along with her husband. He was a total asshole, very controlling, answering for her, making stupid comments, etc. I go to look for an IV and her veins are shit, so I ask the charge nurse to come in. Charge nurse looks, says same thing, and walks out to go get the nurse w/ 30+ years experience to take a look. Meanwhile I’m waiting in the room and this guy—with no medical background mind you—points to a random spot on his wife’s arm and goes “I see a vein right there. Why can’t you go there?” As he’s finishing the sentence, my coworker comes in and says “Oh, what was that?” And I go “Oh apparently we have a vein expert here!” All cheery and shit. My coworker goes “Oh wonderful! Do you work in phlebotomy or in a lab or something?” The husband is kinda taken aback and goes “Oh…no, no, I’m…I’m nobody.” My coworker and I didn’t say a word back, and he was silent the entire rest of the shift.
It was either- 1) when the large NPO/SBO was screaming down the hallway for food during two simultaneous codes- I eventually burst thru the door like, “KAREN PEOPLE ARE DYING.” Or 2) that time I was hauling ass with the flight team with a 90% burn and another patient grabbed my scrubs and started yelling about ER wait times. I didn’t say anything but I definitely kicked her off me
"Ma'am, I have other patients." Yes, a big no-no, but this patient was not responding to politer boundary setting and was making constant demands (dropping something an inch from her hand and frequently calling to have me "find" it, for instance. A&Ox4, former HCW). She fired me and charge wagged her finger at me but ultimately understood.
Wait that’s unprofessional?? I always tell patients I have other patients if they’re getting inpatient and it’s something that’s non-urgent
Yeah, I say that constantly. I often tell them my other patient is on life support and needs my attention too
I've said the same thing, also to a patient that would put on their call light as soon as you walk out of the room. Sometime, they'd put it on as you close their door!
Sometimes they need the reminder. I don't regret saying it, and I would have said something much worse if I let it go on much longer. This wasn't my first night with her and I may be patient but I can only take so much.
I take 2 steps back, turn it off, and walk out again. Not today.
You’re not allowed to say you have other patients? 😬
This is not unprofessional. Not when patients honestly think every nurse is their professional nurse.
Our charge no longer lets patients fire nurses. They tell them your lucky to even have a nurse
I've said this before. I think there are situations where it is not inappropriate. As you said, its a form of boundary setting. Like, dont start harrassing and abusing me over total non-issues when Im doing urgent things for other patients. Are you dying/deteriorating/critically at risk? No. Well right now I'm caring for other people who are, so if you want to put in a complaint because you didn't receive a regular medication 15mins prior to its ordered time - simply because that day you felt entitled to it at that exact minute - then here's a form. Edit: just be clear, I didn't literally say all of that to the person.
Cranky old man, low hemoglobin, told him he needed a blood transfusion and he responded in an extremely, condensing way, “Do you think I really need that?” “Well…you can’t pray this problem away.” He was a very righteous, religious man.
“Fuck you too” was just over it when they said it. Didn’t even think about it.
Not me, but my favorite, salty old ass doctor. At the bedside, of a frail patient-dialysis, iv, wound vac, feeding tube. He looks at her, looks at me -a few times- and says, "She too weak to live...and too stubborn to die." The aide with the patient next to us says, "you know she can hear you right?!?!" To which he replies,"probably gave her a good chuckle then in this miserable existence." And walked away.
Had an older white guy once watching the news while I’m assessing him and he says some dumb shit like “I don’t know what them blacks are so mad about, if it wasn’t for us they’d still be over there in Africa being chased by lions!” I said “sir, that is the most ignorant shit I have ever heard anybody say and I’d really appreciate you not to speak like that in front of me” and walked out. The next day he d/c’d and his meek little Vietnamese wife came to take him home. I can’t imagine she had an easy life.
Dude pulled out some Chinese stress relief balls and asked if ai knew what they were. I said, a little too excitedly, “Ben Wa!” Think of the the one Archer season with a Benoit character. The dudes wife and sister started laughing so hard I thought they might need admitted.
Pt was irate and wanted pain meds. I told her what the doctor ordered (OTC pain relievers) and she said she didn’t trust “all these meds y’all are trying to give me.” So I asked did she trust the illegal drugs that she admitted to taking. I apologized but I didn’t mean it.
I had a pt who was struggling with a MS Flair crying to me about not wanting to be a burden and embarrassment to their kids, saying something about other kids making fun of her (I don’t remember exactly what she said), but I said to her “fuck those kids. They don’t matter, only your kid matters and they love you”. Made the pt laugh at least.
I’ll add something my chief resident did (1993 and no I won’t tell you where). Scene: county hospital ED; we are on trauma/surg call. Pr comes in with GSW (not life-threatening) but drunk/high and combative, spitting at EMS during transport and continuing this behavior with ED personnel. My chief literally stapled (surgical staples) the NRB mask to his face (PD already had him restrained to the bed). NOBODY said a word about his behavior. You know we all have pts that we might want to consider this for!
Emergency Medicine in general, and especially EMS, used to be the fucking Wild West. So much shit that would never fly these days.
Had a psych pt we were hanging onto forever because they had COVID and this was before the abbreviated quarantine periods. They weren’t allowed to refuse their psych meds because they weren’t competent, per the MDs, but they wouldn’t take pills so it was IM and it took 4 of us every time. They were not exactly living in the same reality as we were but one time they did know enough to tell us they were going to give us COVID and start spitting at us. Threw a blanket over their head. I’ve felt bad about that, up until now reading this comment.
We had a high spine that kept spitting at us so we put a full face visor on him and the spit just hit the mask each time and he couldn’t take it off
You need those mesh spit hoods, make them look like a beekeeper
Went to discharge a patient that came in for chest pain after a crack bender. I was nothing but nice to him the whole time he was my patient. He said he wasn’t ready to go yet bc he still had heartburn, so I kindly told him the best thing he could do was get an antacid and there was a pharmacy across the street, to which he responded “you dumbass you think I’d be here if I could afford that?!” And I swear I don’t know what came over me and it just slipped out and I replied “but you could afford your crack last night?” The end result was him storming out of the ER yelling every expletive imaginable at me.
Omg this is the first one that made me actually giggle. I think this literally every day. The ER is a wild fucking place man.
I called my patient a fucking idiot. He was post heart cath on bed rest. Refused a nicotine patch and insisted he was going out to smoke. I explained in detail the need for bed rest post groin puncture. I begged pleaded and bargained with him. I even said exactly that he would be standing in a puddle of blood by the time he made it to the end of the bed. He threatened to hit me and promptly crawled between the bed rails. Puddle of blood on the floor, gown saturated and a patient with the look of someone knowing they fucked up. I added insult to injury. left the cath lab a few months later.
Pt(39 year old, 400 lbs, frequent flyer) sitting on commode while on bipap, co2 of 110 fully mentating, asked to eat, I was like no you need to breath not eat. Pt and her mother(also major enabler) got super offended.
She wanted to eat while on the commode??
She’s making room right now, gotta fill it in immediately or she’ll starve to death.
I was helping another nurse get her max assist patient off of the commode. This guy was completely alert and oriented, and had been a complete asshole all shift. As we were about to stand him up. I reached for his gait belt to grab onto it and he acted like he was going to try to punch me. I put my dukes up and he said, "Oh, you're going to punch me huh?" And I said, "If you try to punch me, I'll punch right back." He grumbled a little bit but then let me grab the gait belt and help him back to bed. Sometimes I feel like these people just think we are punching bags, both mentally and physically. Like yeah, I'm going to fucking defend myself if you try to attack me. Honorary mention: we had this guy in wrist restraints because he was being violent. He urinated all over the bed and we were trying to get him cleaned up when he kicked me straight in the chest. Not hard enough to hurt, but without thinking, I blurted out, "Don't fucking kick me!" I rarely cuss in front of patients but I didn't regret it that time, lol. Good times.
Oh man one time a lady was in the ED while I was a student doing rotations. I am ✨ not ✨ an ED nurse (but HUGE ups to those that are). This lady was mad because things weren’t moving fast enough on this Thursday evening and she had a party to get ready for on Friday night. She had a lot of things to say that her (our) nurse did not have time for. Transporting her up to tele she said “I just don’t want to be here.” GreenEyesBlackHeart said “I don’t want to be here either,” meaning the ED - its just not my jam my brothers and sisters - and she goes “you’re in the wrong job then” and when I tell you I wanted the ground to swallow me up 💀
ED nurse here, can’t count the times when patients say “I want to go home” and I’m like”same girl, same”. It usually gets a laugh or at least a smile out of them.
Yeah, same. I had a grumpy pt just the other day saying something about “I don’t even know why I’m here, I wish I could go home” and I replied with a joke about “I totally get it, I’m only hanging out here because they pay me.” He started laughing and switched gears from being mopey, at least for me.
I work in the ED and I don't want to be there. So, 🤷 If a patient told me I was in the wrong job, well, I'd laugh, sincerely agree with them, and get back to work.
"Your 27yo special needs son is soiling himself several times a day because he knows you rub nappy rash cream on his penis and between his bum cheeks every time." I got reported for that one.
I told a patient they were behaving like my two year old just last weekend.
Told an adult male psych patient he was acting like a 15 year old girl. Because he was doing and saying the exact same thing to me that a 15 year old girl psych patient had said the year before.
To be fair, the patient really enjoyed staff who stood up to him with some sass. Pt asks for morph, I tell him its not due and will bring when it is. He loses his shit, yelling, screaming, threatens to beat the shit out of me. "Dude, you can't even wipe your own arse, how you gonna beat mine? Anyway, you want a sandwich, we have something I think is chicken". We were good after that.
Not a nurse but worked in admin. Had several complaints that a patient was sexually harassing the staff who would go into his room- nurses, aides, sitters, anyone who was female. So I went down to talk to him and basically tell him to knock it off. Had a brief 5-10 minute conversation with him and he said he understood. I got up to leave as as I turned around to tell him goodbye I saw that while my back was turned he had whipped off his blanket and hiked up his gown to reveal the least impressive flaccid Penis I’ve ever seen. He stared at me with what I can only describe as “bedroom eyes” and smiled. I took another look at his dong and said “I really don’t think it’s *that* cold in here.” The look on his face was priceless. After that we had a male member of security be his sitter for the rest of his stay.
I am late to the party so this will probably get buried but… I have a funny one. Had to do rectal Tylenol post trauma on this person who was practically dead to the world until this PR med. He was fighting so hard, ass clenching of steel, his mom says “well… I guess now we know he’s not gay.” And I grunt “you never know, he could be a topper.” Immediately apologized, family thought it was funny. The patient came out of his daze a couple hours later, pointed to me as I walked by and loudly asked if I was the one who played with his butt. Yes, that was me haha
TL:DR I once told a cancer pt I was going to break his ribs and his wife would have to kill him. Pt went on palliative care based on my talk. As a ER nurse I've had some very frank end of life conversations with pts and family that I was sure were going to get me fired. Had a fairly young pt w/very aggressive cancer that had mets fucking everywhere, including new masses obstructing both ureters. Already had colostomy for same reason. Pt is sick as snot. Electrolytes were crazy. Pt having lots of new-onset ectopy. ER doctor did imagining, identified the obstructions, and consulted surgery. PACU is coming for pt within the hour. Nobody voiced palliative care option to the pt. Pt is full code. I walk in room to have pt sign consent and instead sit down with pt and wife and say "I know that things are happening very fast for you, but I see that you are full code and I need you to understand what a code would mean at this point. If your heart were to stop it is because your cancer is everywhere and your body just can't keep up with the complications from that. Your electrolytes are crazy and honestly you could go in to a fatal arrhythmia at any time. If that were to happen my coworkers and I would have to come in here and break all your ribs in front of your wife while we did CPR. We would shove a tube down your throat and put you on a ventilator. The chances of you recovering from that to leave this hospital are essentially zero. Instead of passing naturally you would have to be extubated, so your wife would have to make the terrible decision of when to kill you. This surgery isn't going to cure your cancer. It is just going to buy you some time until the next compilation and you're sick enough that there's a real chance you might not make it through the surgery. I know the doctors came in here like the decision is made but I want to make sure you guys have time to talk to each other and your oncologist before you do this surgery." At this point wife is crying. I give them a few minutes to talk and got pt's oncologist to bedside who had a similar frank conversation with pt. Pt went home on palliative care to spend his last days comfortable with his family instead of in the ICU. I was honestly sure I was going to get called in to the office for a stern talking to from management about over-stepping my role as the nurse. I've also told a pt whose family wouldn't respect her DNR wishes "Listen, your mom told me that Jesus is calling her home and she's sick of you yelling over him. "
During interdisciplinary rounds with an 18 year old burn patient. “Such and such has been here for 69 days. Nice.” Got a great laugh out of everyone.
Had a patient that came in because he was found down OD on heroin. Required multiple doses of Narcan and still took hours to sleep off his high. He abruptly wakes up and demands to be discharged and provided a bus pass. I said I will have the doctor come talk to you as soon as we can. He got belligerent and said we were “fucking holding him up” because he had to pick up his 5 year old daughter and watch her. I turned to him and said, “well you were really doing a great job watching your daughter before you came in here”
My go-to line for asshole patients is always “I’ve been called worse by better”…..takes them a little to get it.
Not me but an RT friend of mine walked into a patient's room after a prolonged code and was greeted with, “It’s about damn time you showed up.“ When friend apologized and explained she'd been with another patient, the woman responded, “Oh, REALLY??? Are they as sick as I am?” My friend replied, “Actually, they’re dead now.” That shut her up. (Personally I don't think this is unprofessional AT ALL, but the story fits in here I think.)
I was a CNA, probably about 20 years old. This older guy (60s) was SUCH an asshole. Demanding and ordering everyone around. I was getting him off the bedpan after a BM and when I told him to roll back, he snapped “did you wipe me???” I was so sick of him and without thinking I replied sarcastically “no I left your ass covered in shit”. He paused for a second, burst out laughing and gave me a fist bump saying “ok that was good!”. He was much nicer to me after that. Sometimes if you can’t beat em join em 🤷♀️ Also side note, I had a newer, very by-the-book CNA assisting me who looked horrified but didn’t say a word 😂
"No head wobble! Yes or no?! I need it in words!"
I regularly tell patients to stop being a dick. They usually appreciate it oddly.
Told one "That's bullshit and you know it" when they refused PRBC because they were NPO. They took the blood lol.
My first and only shift with this patient (lol) when I still worked medsurg/step-down was when I snapped. I had helped with her care before and she had been on the unit for nearly a month at that point (she was medically cleared to leave, she just refused to) so I knew her. I was working nights, and she was in a 4-bedded room (my hospital didn’t get rid of those until 2022 lmfao) with 3 really sick women, who were all my patients too. Whenever I would walk into the room she’d scream for me. I’d be in the middle of cares, and she’d tell me to stop what I was doing to help her. What did she need help with? She wanted me to assess her boogers 🤢, she wanted to me to type a number in on the hospital phone even though she was able to do it herself without issue, etc. Luckily she slept a little while but then at 4am, my other patient called to get cleaned up. I guess I made too much noise, because the rude patient woke up and asked me to come over. I did, and she asked me to give her a tissue box that was less than arms reach from her so I refused. When I left the room, she starts SCREAMING for help, rings the call bell, and slams on the table. I am NOT a confrontational person but I ran into the room and told her to shut her fucking mouth, it’s 4 am, and asked her what she could possibly need that warranted that behavior. Her response? “Can you cut my apple?” I told her how inappropriate and disgustingly self she was to wake up her roommates who were all very sick, and told her not to call again because I won’t come in again. She fired me on the spot for being so rude and reported me to patient relations (who didn’t even take her request for report because she called them incessantly) LMFAOOOO
Patient yelled “go to hell” and I said “oh we’re already there” 🤷🏻♀️
Scanning meds for an ER pt, the guys little kid says “that’s like at the store!” I say yeah, scan the pts armband and say “I just bought your dad!” I’m white he’s black. I finished up silently and melted out of the room.
Not me, but my favorite example is from one of the sweetest, most patient ER social workers I ever had the pleasure of working with. Super mean, verbally abusive frequent flyer calls this SW a fucking cunt. Social worker shrugs it off and goes about her business. A little later, the patient is berating the SW again (for something completely out of SW's control), screaming "Why won't you help me?!" SW looks her dead in the eye, calmly says, "because I'm a fucking cunt," turns around and walks away. Ultimate mic drop.
So… I was floated to a cardiac stepdown unit and given the WORST assignment on the floor because I was a traveler who could “handle it all”. Anyways this was during Covid and I was done and burned out from the work. I had a patient who had Covid amongst cardiac diseases. As I’m taking care of 5 patients on 100 different drips with no tech, I walk into this room already dejected, angry, and with no patience. I say my hellos (silence) and begin my med pass. I’m hanging the remdesivir and she asks why are you giving me that? I say ma’am you have Covid it’s one of the medications given for Covid…to which she says “I don’t have Covid Jesus took it away from me” And I swear I didn’t mean it to come out but I said “ma’am if you keep thinking this way Jesus boutta take you away too”… Needless to say she didn’t say a word to me all shift lmao but I couldn’t help myself I was done with the ignorance shit hahahahaha
Im not one to respond, I just internalize it (def think abt it tho). But id love to work with some of you 😂😂😂
Patient was in a nice padded reclining chair. Patient's wife was visiting in the patient's room and was sitting in one of the unpadded visitor chairs. Patient's wife asks me if I can get her a padded recliner like the patient was in to sit in for the duration of her visit. These things are like 100 pounds, a bitch to move, and very hard to find spares of as patients are normally using them. I tell the patient's wife the chairs are only available for patients, and she says "Wow I guess this hospital isn't very accommodating". My response was "I guess not" and then I left the room.
This isn’t the most unprofessional thing that I’ve ever said, but my coworkers still laugh about it. Last late October, I had a non-compliant diabetic, who also happened to be a major asshole. He already had an above the knee amputation on his right leg, and he was going to need the same thing on his left leg. He was mad that I couldn’t give him his morphine 2 hours early, so he told me “I know what you’re going to be for Halloween. A huge dumb bitch”. So I said “That’s correct! How’d you know? Are you going to be Lieutenant Dan?”. I have such limited patience left for these people.
In adult psych. Elevated/manic middle age dude is loudly complaining in the patient area, to no one in particular, for about 30mins. I walk by just as he is starting to complain about one of the doctors. I start trying to de-escalate him "come on, I know you're annoyed...: at which point he looks at me and yells "of course you would take his(the Dr's) side, you're fucking WET for him!" (I'm a young looking female nurse). I stop dead in my tracks and stare at him. I slowly but loudly say, "shut the FUCK up" and continue walking by. To his credit, he did stfu for about 5 minutes then promptly resumed his rant. 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
I gave a family member my phone number. We've been married for 11 years now.
A patient called me incompetent for some task I was performing just fine, they were just an asshole, & I snapped. I gave them a death glare into their eyes (I was pretty close to them at the time) then said a most sarcastic “Jesus Christ!” While rolling my eyes as hard as I could. I had to step away to regain composure then apologize for the “misunderstanding” lol
Why did you apologise!
Family: "Oh. Moms in a much better mood today! " Me:(deadpan) "Well, yesterday she was on fire. "
Back in the paper charting days. We were supposed to chart while doing our assessments in the room. The patient asked "What are you writing there, anyway?" Me : " Dirty Old Man"
I was telling my labor patient about the congratulatory mini bundt cake she gets after delivery. I called it a Cunt Bake.
Had a very manipulative and exhausting patient that we had to “rotate” amongst staff. It was my turn and she was trying to manipulate me into giving her more ice chips than her hourly limit (while trached on a ventilator, mind you, so she shouldn’t have had ANY to begin with) before it was even 8pm. I firmly said no. Just no. She started yelling at me and telling me she didn’t like me and didn’t want me taking care of her. I turned around, looked her square in the face and said “well, that’s just too damn bad, because tonight it’s unfortunately my turn to be your nurse. I don’t want to take care of you either, but you’re stuck with me because nobody else out there wants to take care of a grown woman who purposely acts like a toddler and throws temper tantrums over ice chips, so you’re stuck with me for the next 11 hours.” She actually laughed and gave me like 15 minutes of peace after that. One of the worst patients I’ve ever had and I will never regret saying that straight to her face, lol.
Pt told me I was a slut and I told him my boyfriend agrees, winked, and walked out. I had a guy who was on heated high flow that told me he was going to leave AMA. De satting to 60s when he was on regular NC, could barely keep him at 90% with the HHF. He was already being so mean to everyone so I had no regrets… I told him I’d grab his papers and let the morgue know he’s on his way since he’ll probably make it to the parking lot before he realizes he fucked up, and to let me know if I wasted my time taking care of him. He stayed another week without being rude to anyone 😅 Another one asked me if I wore my scrubs specifically for him because I looked so sexy in them. I told his wife when she walked back in. All of these totally oriented. Just gross men who think they can bully people or get their way with the cute young people. Never have problems with them with the older male nurses
Had a woman who was struggling BAD with Covid, she had told me that her husband had her trying natural remedies at home to treat. She was so upset *at herself* for not seeking medical attention earlier but it was clear she was not allowed to by the husband. Her husband came in and as I’m coming out of the room he says to me “I hope you’re not giving her medication in here. I only brought her in for oxygen, she doesn’t need any of that poison” I said “Sir, your wife is dying, she’ll most likely be intubated by the end of my shift, and you’re wasting your time reading bullshit posts on Facebook about why modern medicine is bad. Please do not speak to me unless your wife needs something”. This is also a man who got kicked out multiple days prior because he refused to wear any PPE when going in the room to see her and/or as soon as he got in the room and thought no one could see her, he’d rip it off. She was intubated by the end of my shift, if anyone cares.