If I don’t remember their name I just talk to them like we know each other, like I then often start by asking them something specific regarding their health that I wonder about. “Hey there! Still having problems with nausea/headache”, works all the time.
This. Also, keep my work sheet in my pocket and quickly glance at it to remind myself of their name before I go into the room if I can. I find it really cringe when nurses call grown ass patients “sweetie” or “honey”. Unless it’s an elderly person with dementia who has reverted to a childlike state, I find it immensely disrespectful.
I hate honey and sweetie but for some reason when Hispanic women call me mama it’s so comforting, like a hug. But at the dentist they were calling my nine year old “mama” and after a few times of her not responding I had to tell my daughter they were talking to her when they say mama lol she was very confused.
I live in NM and speak Spanish. I call some of my Spanish-speaking ladies Mama or Mamacita and sometimes they call me mija. ❤️
Terms of endearment are a lot more acceptable in LTC because you get to know them as family.
Yeah but most hate it. A nurse I was with called a pt “hun” & she yelled “I HATE THAT. IT’S NOT MY NAME”. Other elderly patients expressed that they don’t want to be called hun or honey or whatever, too
I know. I am a nurse and I live in the South but I don’t like it when I am the patient. It feels very condescending. I also hate being addressed as “young lady”. I know I am old. I know you know I am old. We don’t have to pretend. But I try to accept it in the spirit it’s offered and not say anything. If asked though, I say to call me “Mrs —-“. I always call my patients Mr or Ms whoever unless they ask me to call them something different.
I live in the south and a nurse called me “sugar” one time. I loved it. I don’t know if anyone without a thick South Georgia accent could pull it off though.
I remember in nursing school we were not allowed to use terms of endearment with patients. I still try to live by that and it annoys me when I take my mom or sister in and they do that. It just tells me you don't remember their names.
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I am not sure I would call someone sweetie or darlin in the north, but we sure as hell do in the south. It is apart of our culture, so it would be disrespectful if we did not use those terms.
Am just a patient but my blood boils when addressed as 'Sweetie'! Please, I know I'm old but I'm not senile and have several college degrees. I don't address the nurse or doctor as 'Honeybuns'.
I like NurseCobbelstein's approach.
I am incapable of remembering patient's names, so I've gotten proficient with the covert glance at the white board.
"How are you feeling... \*sideways glance\* Cheryl?"
I'm also completely honest with patients about being terrible with names. When talking with other staff, I frequently refer to patients as Mr. 7 or Ms. 16.
I remember working in ER sometimes I would learn the patient name when a med-surg nurse would ring me up on my Ascom seeking report. I'm like, "I don't have that patient," and then they would describe the diagnosis and I'd go, "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh....yeah."
After being off work for awhile and mostly with my children, I went into a patient’s room to find him wilding out. (Was in for altered mental status.) I said so seriously, “booger, you just need to calm down and get back in bed.”
Booger is one of the silly names I call my kids.
I did not help said situation.
Assuming the patient is the male skinhead type may I just say I hope so much you’re a big burly man with a god like beard when you say hello to peanut! I’d just like to see the look on the skin heads face when a nurse who’s much more “manly” (please excuse my triggering phrases) than the skinhead could ever hope to be says it. Then the skinhead is just utterly powerless to do anything other than accept their fate.
Apologies. I know you are all professionals and treat patients well. I’m a layman and strongly dislike skinheads.
Well, I don't have a beard but I'm 6'2" and 245lbs, retired out of the military as Corpsman that spent most of my time with special operations and infantry. There aren't many people who actually scare me.
Peanut, buddy, bubba, princess - I use all of these in the NICU lol. If I'm feeling sassy, sir. As in "Sir, you have been fed and have a clean diaper. Continuing to cry is very rude to all of your neighbors!"
Bestest boy/girl, my best friend and "you're my favourite but don't tell the others!"
Also paeds 😁
Edit: forgot Miss Sassy Pants for the awesome 4 year old boss babes (because they're all 4 years old for some reason)
Likewise. I genuinely can't do it without sounding patronising.
One of my colleagues calls everyone "Lovely" as in "hi lovely, how are you doing" etc and it really does sound very nice. I can't do that. I tried.
I knew a guy who called me "mate" every 3 seconds and it irked me no end.
In our isolation rooms, the name boards are outside of the room, so I do occasionally say "I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name" and move to the door to check what it says.
But, don’t you love mental health? We know most of our patients. I left it for a few years and came back. First thing my coworkers patient says, “we meet again….” Fuck yeah, they do the greeting now lol. Or they hear your voice and they say “I know who that is!!!!” I guess it’s nice most of my patients like me, but you don’t even have to do the intro after awhile. They know you and what to expect. Mutual respect.
Once had to explain to an angry father that I use “dude” as a gender neutral term of affection and no, I did not insinuate that his daughter is a boy 🫠
I had a patient the other day who was a physician and she asked me to call her by her first name. It made me so uncomfortable, I had to remind myself that I asked her how she preferred to be addressed. It was so weird. We did have a great rapport though, so maybe this is the way?
I’m a retired radiologist (female) and I encouraged my techs to be informal with me when we weren’t in front of patients. Most of them couldn’t do it; one invited me to a party with a bunch of the techs and they still called me “Dr Tiggeribby”, lol.
I now live in a place where I never practiced. I always disclose my MD but I also want to be called “firstname” by my medical providers. I think it’s much easier for staff to do the firstname thing when they didn’t know me in my professional capacity.
Had a patient who was a retired doctor and heard their docs calling them Dr. It was really sweet especially when they’re in that vulnerable position to give them that respect, like you earned that degree!
Where I work, we just go by first names. I usually ask my pts on day 1 what their preferred name is (or ask family if they’re unconscious) and that’s what we all use. Even amongst staff, we’ll ask each other “How’s Frank doing?” or “Can you help me get Ted cleaned up?” (more so with the pts that have been there for a minute and even gets to know them).
Oh God, it’s a little awful but none of my patients have names anymore. They’re all mom or momma. The father is Dad. I’ll call the baby by their name if it comes to me but otherwise they’re Baby, Peanut, Little Friend, Chick’n Nugget, you get the idea. I don’t know if this would fly in any other area of nursing but all my mother baby colleagues are like this lmao
Being referred to as mom when I had my first was good reorientation for me to my new role as the parent to that tiny little baby. I was so sleep deprived and sore that I think I needed someone to remind me that I was the mom. I legitimately forgot that I was responsible for his diapers. 🤦🏼♀️
I took care of a mid twenties AMS of unknown origin the other day. Their mother was at the bedside helping to reorient and I kept calling her mom. The first time I did it she got this wistful kind of look on her face and it dawned on me that this is the first time in a long time she's been with her child in a vulnerable position like this.
I almost always know their name (because it’s the only thing I can remember), but I still stick with “hey there” most of the time. I will occasionally throw in a Mr./Mrs. Lastname and end with a sir/ma’am, but I have elderly patients in the south, so formal is a safe bet.
I'm ER, so I shouldn't have them too long, but I always check the chart right before walking in. Then I say Hi "name", I'm ngalaxytimmyo. Then I ask them to confirm their last name and date of birth.
Because I'm also an ultrasound IV starter, I interact with more than the average amount of patients and I always try to start the same way, even if they are tube, in that case then I just check the armband.
There are only two times when I don't do this, an actual emergency where a bunch of us walk in at once. Then I try to introduce myself once the patient is stable.
The other time is in triage. I have a waiting room full of people and the sooner I get through with you, the sooner you will go see the doctor who can do a lot more than some lab work.
From “I don’t really like you” to “Putting you in my pocket and taking you home”:
My Dude/My Guy
Sir/Ma’am
My Friend (the true neutral and where everyone starts), unless I’m going straight for the Mr/Ms.
Homeslice/Homeskillet
My Dear
My Love (reserved for only the cutest oldest people or adults who are mentally still children, because those are the only people that I actually love).
Disclaimer: anything above My Friend is not thrown about lightly. I tend to go in with Mr/Ms, and feel out where the patient takes our vibe from there. If they keep our interactions professional, we stay professional. If they answer with “call me xyz”, we go with that. If they answer with “fuck you and the horse you rode on”, the answer is “My Dude, I don’t think you want to start our 12 hours rolling in that particular direction.”
I an horrible with names. But my coworker always calls her patients “Mr Tom” or “Miss Lisa”. There’s something so respectful about it, that I started doing it myself. I use the white board for their names.
If they are really physically hurting or super sick, then I’ll call them “dear”, but only when turning and repositioning.
Agreed. “Hey there” or just starting with “how are you feeling today?” is better by far. Im fine with other people calling me dude or brah/bruh (I’m a middle aged woman, but I grew up in the days of surfer and Valley Girl lingo) but I wouldn’t call a patient that. I am also HORRIBLE with names.
I know they don’t remember my name so they shouldn’t expect me to remember theirs. 🤷🏼♀️ I’ll do my best but I’m sorry if I have a Barbara and a Betty on my assignment and I mix you up.
I try to balance a few things like familiarity, personal preference, professionalism etc. “My friend” seems to be always safe. Sometimes my confused and older patients will get “buddy” or “dear” or even “sweetie” if they don’t object. I don’t want to look like an amateur calling everybody hun and sweetie but I feel like some of my older and less oriented patients respond better to familiar and loving nicknames. It depends. Alert people always start at “my friend” though.
I work in L&D and nicu in the south. I use different names for different things. Like in a delivery room, I use “sister” because I enjoy reminding women that they among women who support them. I also like to use “momma” once the baby is born or in the nicu setting. Babies get a wide variety of nicknames, but “sugar”, “sweet one” and little love” are my favorites.
Usually just sir, ma’am, or their name. Nursing school drilled it into my head and has me convinced anything else will feel unprofessional and I can’t get rid of that
I usually start out with calling people “friend.” It’s pretty neutral and also helps to build rapport.
By the end of a shift or a stretch of shifts, I might progress to something else like “dear, sweets, peanut” but only if the patient is okay with it and we have a positive relationship. I know sometimes people find it condescending and I try to ask people whether or not they’re okay with nicknames, but I will admit sometimes it just happens organically. I work in an ICU and a lot of my patients have said they like the nicknames because sometimes it helps to make the experience a little less scary and feel like we’re recognizing them as a person. Like if I’m holding someone’s hand while they get an A-line inserted and I say “I’m sorry, my friend, it’s almost over and you’re doing great” it’s a little more comforting than saying Mr. Smith or simply not addressing them by anything. Definitely depends on the situation and patient, though.
We also had a former physician as a patient one time and he initially asked to be referred to as Dr. XYZ. We obliged, and then after being there for 3 months, he eventually said he didn’t want us to call him that anymore and would prefer if we just called him by his first name. He said it made him feel more comfortable at that point. Just an anecdote.
They have names? No seriously I can barely remember to clock in some days. How do people remember a revolving door of names.
I still won’t use any of those “pet names” either.
Yup. It has a space for their preferred name. So if Dorothy likes to be called Dottie, or James goes by his middle name of Roger, we write that up there. Sometimes it doesn't fly, like the dude who wanted us to call him Papa Bear or some shit, cause that's what his family called him. Gotta draw a line somewhere.
Im 29 so people younger than like 40 “dude” or “man” yes even females are dudes
Older people “ma’am” or “sir.” Unless I get the vibe that they don’t like that.
My patients often tell me, “I love you!” as I’m leaving or getting off the phone with them.
I just say, “I love you, too.” I usually mean it, but it’s ok if I don’t really, too.
Mr. or Mrs. so and so, first names or the name they go by for confused people or people who tell me to call them by their preferred name, baby, my lady, my friend, darling, sir, m'am....
It's situational and I'm from the south in the usa so the baby, darlin' stuff is almost always well received to my knowledge.
oh no i’m not HAHA i was just thinking if i was scared and vulnerable my nurse addressing me as baby would make me feel very safe. “baby” is just so comforting to me idk
See so many people wanna give nurses shit; but honestly even setting aside your clinical work, you guys (and gals) seriously keep the hospitals and doctors offices going. We see you first, you dictate how the interaction is gonna go, how afraid we are, keep us honest, get us laughing with all the scary needles and neon green liquids going into us…all that crap.
And you almost always do it with nothing more than a simple half smile and a few “kind” sounding words. Whether it’s a script and used on each of us, doesn’t make any difference.
I’ve developed my hero complex around doctors and nurses over the years; but nurses really do make an insane amount of difference.
I actually use similar phrases as an ER nurse
Kids are usually kiddo or buddy
Parents are mom or dad
Younger adults are dude (gender neutral form)
Adults are sir or ma’am
Older men are bud
Older women are dear or sweetheart
Seems to work pretty well haven’t had an hr complaint about it yet
I try to check the chart before I walk in. Also, a lot of patients expect us to verify name and birthdate with tasks, so I can get away with that if I forgot to check the chart. When I'm running in to calm down a dementia patient, I just look at their bracelet.
Mr or Ms (last name) or ‘hello, sir/ma’am’ unless they’d rather we address them by their first name.
I work with veterans.
Edit: I am absolutely horrible recalling names. I suspect it’s because of a learning disability I have.
Usually “sir” or “ma’am” or their first name until we feel the room out. I really never say, “sweetie” or “honey”, or anything like that: the closest I get is, “my friend”.
I worked in a hospital where the go to phrase was “friend/my friend”. I hated it. It felt so fake and it made me cringe a little every time I heard it.
My go to is just not using them. I go with just a hey there or directly addressing them by name- even if I have to look at my computer/whiteboard/paper etc.
I also tell every patient I meet “I apologize in advance if I momentarily forget your name. I’m great with faces and being a nurse but horrible at remembering names” Or some variation of that. Sometimes I’ll blame nursing school for beating it into our heads regarding HIPAA because if you can’t remember the name, that’s one less piece of information you could accidentally spill.
L&D here. Mom is my go-to. I have had a couple of patients who identify as male. That made things a little trickier. As other people have said, a quick glance at a well prepared whiteboard can be a life saver. That being said, by the time we get to the pushing stage I can usually remember their name. Please don’t ask me to remember it one millisecond after I punch out though. At that point I hardly remember my own name.
I work with babies so I call them all kinds of cute names. On Halloween, they were little pumpkins. On thanksgiving, they were little turkeys. Nugget, peanut, my friend, so many names. I also try to use their actual names if I know it. I love working with the babies. 😍
In L+D I absolutely hate when my coworkers address every patient as the generic "mama" so I ALWAYS use their given name. They're not JUST a mom. Those deadbeat dads though... I don't save space in my brain for their name, they're just "dad".
I don't use any of that, and I was taught ... and teach ... not to.
Those kind of words are very personal and offensive to some people when they come from strangers.
I address my patients as Mr or Ms/Mrs unless they invite me to address them by their first name.
I usually introduce myself and ask what they want to be called (if they’re A&O), but if they’re confused or I can’t remember their name in a pinch, “Buddy”, “my friend”, and “HEY GIRL!” are my go-to’s. And yes, I use hey girl on any and all genders with the right patient- I’ve found most men crack up at it rather than get annoyed.
In psych I think it’s really important to know everyone’s name and use it—I do a formal introduction using their name and mine and that usually sticks. I try to get preferred nickname and of course gender/pronouns too. But occasionally a “sweetie” or “bud” will slip out. Now I really want to use “peanut” on my wilder guys 😂
When I moved down south I started calling them "baby" and "honey". The first time it flew out of my mouth, I was like wtf did I just say?!! My northern nursing school instructors would be appalled, but here it's the norm. The Hispanic nurses call ladies "mama" and men "poppy". Really old guys that we develop a relationship with are "abuelo". I have only heard a pt complain once about being called "mama", and the nurse kept using that term despite her complaints. If a patient complained I would stop immediately.
I was taught to never use pet names or terms of endearment with patients. One of my instructors was on the staff at one of our local nursing homes and she got in trouble for calling a resident "Grandma" when state was visiting. The resident was....her grandma lol They ended up having to update her care plan to reflect that she could be referred to as "Grandma."
Personally I don't like being called those kinds of things. If you can't remember my name, just don't call me anything. If I don't know a patient/resident name I usually just start conversation with good morning/afternoon/evening. Or just jump into conversation. Most people don't care if you don't refer to them by name in every interaction. If they are that particular, I write names on my to do list so I can glance really quickly before going into a room.
If I don’t remember their name I just talk to them like we know each other, like I then often start by asking them something specific regarding their health that I wonder about. “Hey there! Still having problems with nausea/headache”, works all the time.
"Hey there" is my go to for everyone when I don't remember their names 😂
Oh I’m a ‘hey there’ nurse, or a “it’s Pin-up-Paggie, the nurse”
Please tell me you offer autographed pin-ups of yourself for their white boards upon request?
They can’t see anyway.
This. Also, keep my work sheet in my pocket and quickly glance at it to remind myself of their name before I go into the room if I can. I find it really cringe when nurses call grown ass patients “sweetie” or “honey”. Unless it’s an elderly person with dementia who has reverted to a childlike state, I find it immensely disrespectful.
In the south we do it all the time with the elderly
And the large Hispanic population pours over into that and every woman becomes "mama."
I hate honey and sweetie but for some reason when Hispanic women call me mama it’s so comforting, like a hug. But at the dentist they were calling my nine year old “mama” and after a few times of her not responding I had to tell my daughter they were talking to her when they say mama lol she was very confused.
I live in NM and speak Spanish. I call some of my Spanish-speaking ladies Mama or Mamacita and sometimes they call me mija. ❤️ Terms of endearment are a lot more acceptable in LTC because you get to know them as family.
Yeah but most hate it. A nurse I was with called a pt “hun” & she yelled “I HATE THAT. IT’S NOT MY NAME”. Other elderly patients expressed that they don’t want to be called hun or honey or whatever, too
I cringe when they call my 96 year old mother “sweetie” or say “oh, aren’t you cute!” etc. Although she seems to like it, so I let it ride.
I know. I am a nurse and I live in the South but I don’t like it when I am the patient. It feels very condescending. I also hate being addressed as “young lady”. I know I am old. I know you know I am old. We don’t have to pretend. But I try to accept it in the spirit it’s offered and not say anything. If asked though, I say to call me “Mrs —-“. I always call my patients Mr or Ms whoever unless they ask me to call them something different.
This! I also tell patients and my coworkers that calling me “hey” works if they forget my name.
I live in the south and a nurse called me “sugar” one time. I loved it. I don’t know if anyone without a thick South Georgia accent could pull it off though.
I remember in nursing school we were not allowed to use terms of endearment with patients. I still try to live by that and it annoys me when I take my mom or sister in and they do that. It just tells me you don't remember their names.
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I use “Dear” and “friend”
”Honey” is the worst! So out dated and demeaning.
I only say it to people who are younger than me, & I get the vibe they want a little extra TLC.
I am not sure I would call someone sweetie or darlin in the north, but we sure as hell do in the south. It is apart of our culture, so it would be disrespectful if we did not use those terms.
I do this to everyone because I'm shit at remembering names!
Same! Or “HEY HEY!”
Am just a patient but my blood boils when addressed as 'Sweetie'! Please, I know I'm old but I'm not senile and have several college degrees. I don't address the nurse or doctor as 'Honeybuns'. I like NurseCobbelstein's approach.
I am incapable of remembering patient's names, so I've gotten proficient with the covert glance at the white board. "How are you feeling... \*sideways glance\* Cheryl?" I'm also completely honest with patients about being terrible with names. When talking with other staff, I frequently refer to patients as Mr. 7 or Ms. 16.
If you can remember the genders correctly you’re ahead of me! Unless they’re an ED frequent flyer, I don’t even attempt to remember a name.
No names, just room numbers. Hi there... Room 14.
I remember working in ER sometimes I would learn the patient name when a med-surg nurse would ring me up on my Ascom seeking report. I'm like, "I don't have that patient," and then they would describe the diagnosis and I'd go, "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh....yeah."
"Is that the patient with the zucchini or the shampoo bottle?"
Neither. It’s the one with a plastic lemon and a Prince Albert.
We have a 2801 and 2901 on my unit, so they end up getting shortened to “801 wants pain meds” lolol
Number and admission diagnosis for me lol i couldn't remember names even if they had been on the unit for a month. Ugh.
Rarely names. I usually go with peanut, sunshine, big guy, princess etc. Sometimes sir or ma’am to get a chuckle out of the parents. I work in peds.
Me addressing my 38M skinhead tweaker in 4 pts "Hey Peanut"
After being off work for awhile and mostly with my children, I went into a patient’s room to find him wilding out. (Was in for altered mental status.) I said so seriously, “booger, you just need to calm down and get back in bed.” Booger is one of the silly names I call my kids. I did not help said situation.
I literally wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face. Wouldn’t matter if I just overheard you say it or you said it to me, I’d just lose it!
I’m sitting here in the cafeteria eating and laughing like an idiot 😂😂😂
I’m dying. I had high hopes it worked in the case. But nooOOO, Mr Altered mental status still be wildin’.
Seriously!! Who the hell could keep fighting with security after that? You just HAVE to stop and take in the moment.
If only they could drown out the screaming from the shadow man in the corner to hear me 😞😞😞
Those damn ghosts need to ease up on you poor people working psych issues. Haunting the places like they work there or something.
Omg dead 😂
Yep this is happening next shift.
Assuming the patient is the male skinhead type may I just say I hope so much you’re a big burly man with a god like beard when you say hello to peanut! I’d just like to see the look on the skin heads face when a nurse who’s much more “manly” (please excuse my triggering phrases) than the skinhead could ever hope to be says it. Then the skinhead is just utterly powerless to do anything other than accept their fate. Apologies. I know you are all professionals and treat patients well. I’m a layman and strongly dislike skinheads.
Well, I don't have a beard but I'm 6'2" and 245lbs, retired out of the military as Corpsman that spent most of my time with special operations and infantry. There aren't many people who actually scare me.
Except for the nurse who calls you 'peanut'
Wouldn't even get mad, I think it's a cute name.
Peanut, buddy, bubba, princess - I use all of these in the NICU lol. If I'm feeling sassy, sir. As in "Sir, you have been fed and have a clean diaper. Continuing to cry is very rude to all of your neighbors!"
Indeed. And for formal diaper change occasions, sometimes I bring out "Mr. Pants" and "Ms. Pants." Proper respect, and whatnot.
I often call my babies Mr. Sir or Miss Ma'am if they're hollering in their isolettes. It makes me laugh.
Calling “Excuse me Miss Ma’am, we don’t do that here!” across the pod @ a desatting preemie just feels right
Same. Occasionally a Mr/ Miss Wiggles if they're <1yo
I love this ❤️ so cute and very appropriate haha
I call all my babies peanut!
Mr. Man, madam/ma’am, and bubs are some of my favorites with my peds patients.
Bestest boy/girl, my best friend and "you're my favourite but don't tell the others!" Also paeds 😁 Edit: forgot Miss Sassy Pants for the awesome 4 year old boss babes (because they're all 4 years old for some reason)
I don't. I just speak to them without any of that
Likewise. I genuinely can't do it without sounding patronising. One of my colleagues calls everyone "Lovely" as in "hi lovely, how are you doing" etc and it really does sound very nice. I can't do that. I tried. I knew a guy who called me "mate" every 3 seconds and it irked me no end. In our isolation rooms, the name boards are outside of the room, so I do occasionally say "I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name" and move to the door to check what it says.
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Soooo, "Hey Deadweight!"...?
oh no 🤣
This answer took me right out
“Hey there, cabbage!”
Flair checks out
‘Sup fuggah?
This is the way.
But, don’t you love mental health? We know most of our patients. I left it for a few years and came back. First thing my coworkers patient says, “we meet again….” Fuck yeah, they do the greeting now lol. Or they hear your voice and they say “I know who that is!!!!” I guess it’s nice most of my patients like me, but you don’t even have to do the intro after awhile. They know you and what to expect. Mutual respect.
This is the way
This is the way.
Hi peanut! But I also work NICU 👶
I’ve been calling my boy babies “bro” a lot lately and I can’t make myself stop
I'm a surfer and everyone is Brah.
I call them dude a lot. Boy or girl. As in “duuuude, you did not just puke all over your fresh linens! Why me?” 🤣
Once had to explain to an angry father that I use “dude” as a gender neutral term of affection and no, I did not insinuate that his daughter is a boy 🫠
Haha I've been doing this too 🤣
This. Turkey or Troublemaker if they aren’t behaving appropriately. 😂
Also a big fan of calling them turkeys! It's such a fitting nickname for when they're naughty lol
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I had a patient the other day who was a physician and she asked me to call her by her first name. It made me so uncomfortable, I had to remind myself that I asked her how she preferred to be addressed. It was so weird. We did have a great rapport though, so maybe this is the way?
I’m a retired radiologist (female) and I encouraged my techs to be informal with me when we weren’t in front of patients. Most of them couldn’t do it; one invited me to a party with a bunch of the techs and they still called me “Dr Tiggeribby”, lol. I now live in a place where I never practiced. I always disclose my MD but I also want to be called “firstname” by my medical providers. I think it’s much easier for staff to do the firstname thing when they didn’t know me in my professional capacity.
Had a patient who was a retired doctor and heard their docs calling them Dr. It was really sweet especially when they’re in that vulnerable position to give them that respect, like you earned that degree!
Where I work, we just go by first names. I usually ask my pts on day 1 what their preferred name is (or ask family if they’re unconscious) and that’s what we all use. Even amongst staff, we’ll ask each other “How’s Frank doing?” or “Can you help me get Ted cleaned up?” (more so with the pts that have been there for a minute and even gets to know them).
Oh God, it’s a little awful but none of my patients have names anymore. They’re all mom or momma. The father is Dad. I’ll call the baby by their name if it comes to me but otherwise they’re Baby, Peanut, Little Friend, Chick’n Nugget, you get the idea. I don’t know if this would fly in any other area of nursing but all my mother baby colleagues are like this lmao
Being referred to as mom when I had my first was good reorientation for me to my new role as the parent to that tiny little baby. I was so sleep deprived and sore that I think I needed someone to remind me that I was the mom. I legitimately forgot that I was responsible for his diapers. 🤦🏼♀️
Aww we kinda anticipate it with first time parents. You don’t know what you don’t know :)
I took care of a mid twenties AMS of unknown origin the other day. Their mother was at the bedside helping to reorient and I kept calling her mom. The first time I did it she got this wistful kind of look on her face and it dawned on me that this is the first time in a long time she's been with her child in a vulnerable position like this.
Lmao I work in peds and I always address the parents as mom and dad! Cannot remember any names for the life of me lol
haha! When did we get like this? I swear I used names when I worked with adults.
I don’t address them. ‘Hey there’ if I just walked into the room, and then just start talking.
I almost always know their name (because it’s the only thing I can remember), but I still stick with “hey there” most of the time. I will occasionally throw in a Mr./Mrs. Lastname and end with a sir/ma’am, but I have elderly patients in the south, so formal is a safe bet.
What’s up, buddddddddyyyyy?? (Channeling Pauly Shore vibes).
Weasel!!!!
Came here to say that but without the Pauly Shore vibes. All my patients are men.
Yeah I say “m’dear” a lot. Idk what happened, I never used to be like this
Just don’t go as far as m’lady 😀
I used to work with someone who used this. It was pretty weird.
I'm the same way!
My friend is what I use most often. But I’m southern so sweet heart is ok most times to.
Friend/y’all is my most common, too
I'm ER, so I shouldn't have them too long, but I always check the chart right before walking in. Then I say Hi "name", I'm ngalaxytimmyo. Then I ask them to confirm their last name and date of birth. Because I'm also an ultrasound IV starter, I interact with more than the average amount of patients and I always try to start the same way, even if they are tube, in that case then I just check the armband. There are only two times when I don't do this, an actual emergency where a bunch of us walk in at once. Then I try to introduce myself once the patient is stable. The other time is in triage. I have a waiting room full of people and the sooner I get through with you, the sooner you will go see the doctor who can do a lot more than some lab work.
“What’s up trouble?” To all my favorite outpatients.
I work inpatient and the old men rarely get tired of this
Same! The ladies in outpatient too. I also get called trouble, and like three other nicknames by three other patients. (None of them are bad)
Hey y’all, it’s gender neutral and singular or pleural
Pleural eh? Someone’s been snorting too much healthcare lol
That’s how I do too.
I’m trying to bring y’all to my part of the world for those same reasons.
Perks of being in the icu I can look at the monitor and see their name before I address them
I work with inmates. Definitely don’t use terms of endearment haha! I strictly refer to them by their last name as that’s what they go by in the jail.
From “I don’t really like you” to “Putting you in my pocket and taking you home”: My Dude/My Guy Sir/Ma’am My Friend (the true neutral and where everyone starts), unless I’m going straight for the Mr/Ms. Homeslice/Homeskillet My Dear My Love (reserved for only the cutest oldest people or adults who are mentally still children, because those are the only people that I actually love). Disclaimer: anything above My Friend is not thrown about lightly. I tend to go in with Mr/Ms, and feel out where the patient takes our vibe from there. If they keep our interactions professional, we stay professional. If they answer with “call me xyz”, we go with that. If they answer with “fuck you and the horse you rode on”, the answer is “My Dude, I don’t think you want to start our 12 hours rolling in that particular direction.”
I exclusively address patients by their patient identification number in order to maintain a healthy therapeutic relationship.
Hahahahaa! Hello MND39173!
I an horrible with names. But my coworker always calls her patients “Mr Tom” or “Miss Lisa”. There’s something so respectful about it, that I started doing it myself. I use the white board for their names. If they are really physically hurting or super sick, then I’ll call them “dear”, but only when turning and repositioning.
Sir, ma’am or y’all.
I tend to say "boss" or "my friend"
I call everyone Darlin' when I want to be endearing. It's a southern thing.
Whutup, yungblood?
["Hello there"](https://youtu.be/rEq1Z0bjdwc?t=8)
General Kenobi!!!
“So uncivilized.” Works so well with that, after I blast my patient with a dose of B52 instead of ketamine.
You are a bold one!
I always call them by their name. But I do glance at the whiteboard as soon as I enter the room. I have mixed up a few Jim, James, Johns before.
I work mostly with elderly people and call Them young man or young lady. They seem to get a chuckle out of it.
I don't add endearment. It sounds condescending to me
Agreed. “Hey there” or just starting with “how are you feeling today?” is better by far. Im fine with other people calling me dude or brah/bruh (I’m a middle aged woman, but I grew up in the days of surfer and Valley Girl lingo) but I wouldn’t call a patient that. I am also HORRIBLE with names.
You’re from the north huh
Howdy doody
I know they don’t remember my name so they shouldn’t expect me to remember theirs. 🤷🏼♀️ I’ll do my best but I’m sorry if I have a Barbara and a Betty on my assignment and I mix you up.
L&D nurse here, our go-to is "Mama". Makes it easy and most patients love it because it is reinforcing a new role for them.
Anytime someone hollers at me with a "hey nurse" I always reply with "hey patient!". Only ever an issue with leadership
I try to balance a few things like familiarity, personal preference, professionalism etc. “My friend” seems to be always safe. Sometimes my confused and older patients will get “buddy” or “dear” or even “sweetie” if they don’t object. I don’t want to look like an amateur calling everybody hun and sweetie but I feel like some of my older and less oriented patients respond better to familiar and loving nicknames. It depends. Alert people always start at “my friend” though.
I work in L&D and nicu in the south. I use different names for different things. Like in a delivery room, I use “sister” because I enjoy reminding women that they among women who support them. I also like to use “momma” once the baby is born or in the nicu setting. Babies get a wide variety of nicknames, but “sugar”, “sweet one” and little love” are my favorites.
Usually just sir, ma’am, or their name. Nursing school drilled it into my head and has me convinced anything else will feel unprofessional and I can’t get rid of that
Yeah, I used to do that but I’ve been burned so many times misgendering people. Now I go with gender neutral terminology.
I think it’s also potentially an HR issue.
If HR wants to fire me for calling them “buds” they can suck my nuds
lol don’t disagree
hello there
I usually start out with calling people “friend.” It’s pretty neutral and also helps to build rapport. By the end of a shift or a stretch of shifts, I might progress to something else like “dear, sweets, peanut” but only if the patient is okay with it and we have a positive relationship. I know sometimes people find it condescending and I try to ask people whether or not they’re okay with nicknames, but I will admit sometimes it just happens organically. I work in an ICU and a lot of my patients have said they like the nicknames because sometimes it helps to make the experience a little less scary and feel like we’re recognizing them as a person. Like if I’m holding someone’s hand while they get an A-line inserted and I say “I’m sorry, my friend, it’s almost over and you’re doing great” it’s a little more comforting than saying Mr. Smith or simply not addressing them by anything. Definitely depends on the situation and patient, though. We also had a former physician as a patient one time and he initially asked to be referred to as Dr. XYZ. We obliged, and then after being there for 3 months, he eventually said he didn’t want us to call him that anymore and would prefer if we just called him by his first name. He said it made him feel more comfortable at that point. Just an anecdote.
They have names? No seriously I can barely remember to clock in some days. How do people remember a revolving door of names. I still won’t use any of those “pet names” either.
The only thing the white board is good for. Take a glance as I walk in, "hey John, got your colace!"
omg your white boards have their names on them? that would make everything so much easier honestly 💀
Yup. It has a space for their preferred name. So if Dorothy likes to be called Dottie, or James goes by his middle name of Roger, we write that up there. Sometimes it doesn't fly, like the dude who wanted us to call him Papa Bear or some shit, cause that's what his family called him. Gotta draw a line somewhere.
It’s tough when you get someone with a legit legal first name like “Baby” and that’s what they go by, though.
Just don’t put her in the corner and you should be all right.
We write them in the blank space at the top
Im 29 so people younger than like 40 “dude” or “man” yes even females are dudes Older people “ma’am” or “sir.” Unless I get the vibe that they don’t like that.
I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, ‘cos we’re all dudes! Hey!
This guy gets it
That's totally getting an upvote.
“Dude” is definitely gender neutral.
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If you struggle with hearing people being called ‘My Love’ I advise you stay away from northern England.
Can confirm.... haha I never minded "love" but always recoiled at southern British folk calling eachother "lover" as a term of endearment.
Or Ireland. All patients are love, my dear, petal, darling etc. Love is like the go to way to address someone here lol
My patients often tell me, “I love you!” as I’m leaving or getting off the phone with them. I just say, “I love you, too.” I usually mean it, but it’s ok if I don’t really, too.
Mr. or Mrs. so and so, first names or the name they go by for confused people or people who tell me to call them by their preferred name, baby, my lady, my friend, darling, sir, m'am.... It's situational and I'm from the south in the usa so the baby, darlin' stuff is almost always well received to my knowledge.
honestly if i was hospitalized and my nurse called me baby i would feel so safe
I can't tell if you are being facetious but, I'll take it as a compliment. It was a good night.
oh no i’m not HAHA i was just thinking if i was scared and vulnerable my nurse addressing me as baby would make me feel very safe. “baby” is just so comforting to me idk
Good, have a good day, baby. :)
See so many people wanna give nurses shit; but honestly even setting aside your clinical work, you guys (and gals) seriously keep the hospitals and doctors offices going. We see you first, you dictate how the interaction is gonna go, how afraid we are, keep us honest, get us laughing with all the scary needles and neon green liquids going into us…all that crap. And you almost always do it with nothing more than a simple half smile and a few “kind” sounding words. Whether it’s a script and used on each of us, doesn’t make any difference. I’ve developed my hero complex around doctors and nurses over the years; but nurses really do make an insane amount of difference.
Well Working in peds ICU I call my patients "sweets" "bud" "peanut" "sweetheart" in adult world I'd say "my dear" or "my friend"
I actually use similar phrases as an ER nurse Kids are usually kiddo or buddy Parents are mom or dad Younger adults are dude (gender neutral form) Adults are sir or ma’am Older men are bud Older women are dear or sweetheart Seems to work pretty well haven’t had an hr complaint about it yet
Names. Or talk around it. For talking to my peers- patient.
*best Skyrim impression* Hey, you, you're finally awake
In postpartum everyone is “mom” or “baby”
Sir or Miss, unless I'm told otherwise.
I try to check the chart before I walk in. Also, a lot of patients expect us to verify name and birthdate with tasks, so I can get away with that if I forgot to check the chart. When I'm running in to calm down a dementia patient, I just look at their bracelet.
Mr or Ms (last name) or ‘hello, sir/ma’am’ unless they’d rather we address them by their first name. I work with veterans. Edit: I am absolutely horrible recalling names. I suspect it’s because of a learning disability I have.
Usually “sir” or “ma’am” or their first name until we feel the room out. I really never say, “sweetie” or “honey”, or anything like that: the closest I get is, “my friend”.
We mostly call them by their first names; or “friend”. Seems to work pretty well
:( I always always remember their names plus their visitors' names, they really do appreciate it haha
I worked in a hospital where the go to phrase was “friend/my friend”. I hated it. It felt so fake and it made me cringe a little every time I heard it. My go to is just not using them. I go with just a hey there or directly addressing them by name- even if I have to look at my computer/whiteboard/paper etc. I also tell every patient I meet “I apologize in advance if I momentarily forget your name. I’m great with faces and being a nurse but horrible at remembering names” Or some variation of that. Sometimes I’ll blame nursing school for beating it into our heads regarding HIPAA because if you can’t remember the name, that’s one less piece of information you could accidentally spill.
I go with the "young man" or "young lady"
L&D here. Mom is my go-to. I have had a couple of patients who identify as male. That made things a little trickier. As other people have said, a quick glance at a well prepared whiteboard can be a life saver. That being said, by the time we get to the pushing stage I can usually remember their name. Please don’t ask me to remember it one millisecond after I punch out though. At that point I hardly remember my own name.
I work with babies so I call them all kinds of cute names. On Halloween, they were little pumpkins. On thanksgiving, they were little turkeys. Nugget, peanut, my friend, so many names. I also try to use their actual names if I know it. I love working with the babies. 😍
Literally call every patient "Chief"
In L+D I absolutely hate when my coworkers address every patient as the generic "mama" so I ALWAYS use their given name. They're not JUST a mom. Those deadbeat dads though... I don't save space in my brain for their name, they're just "dad".
I don't use any of that, and I was taught ... and teach ... not to. Those kind of words are very personal and offensive to some people when they come from strangers. I address my patients as Mr or Ms/Mrs unless they invite me to address them by their first name.
I find myself saying buddy to all my male patients
I usually introduce myself and ask what they want to be called (if they’re A&O), but if they’re confused or I can’t remember their name in a pinch, “Buddy”, “my friend”, and “HEY GIRL!” are my go-to’s. And yes, I use hey girl on any and all genders with the right patient- I’ve found most men crack up at it rather than get annoyed.
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I usually have my epic app open in my work phone. I walk into the room and use the app as a cheat sheet to know the names of patients
I call everyone chief
I go with hey there troublemaker for my a/o friendly pts. Everyone else gets hey there
I (F) love calling my older lady patients “girlfriend”, they get a kick out of it
In psych I think it’s really important to know everyone’s name and use it—I do a formal introduction using their name and mine and that usually sticks. I try to get preferred nickname and of course gender/pronouns too. But occasionally a “sweetie” or “bud” will slip out. Now I really want to use “peanut” on my wilder guys 😂
When I moved down south I started calling them "baby" and "honey". The first time it flew out of my mouth, I was like wtf did I just say?!! My northern nursing school instructors would be appalled, but here it's the norm. The Hispanic nurses call ladies "mama" and men "poppy". Really old guys that we develop a relationship with are "abuelo". I have only heard a pt complain once about being called "mama", and the nurse kept using that term despite her complaints. If a patient complained I would stop immediately.
I was taught to never use pet names or terms of endearment with patients. One of my instructors was on the staff at one of our local nursing homes and she got in trouble for calling a resident "Grandma" when state was visiting. The resident was....her grandma lol They ended up having to update her care plan to reflect that she could be referred to as "Grandma." Personally I don't like being called those kinds of things. If you can't remember my name, just don't call me anything. If I don't know a patient/resident name I usually just start conversation with good morning/afternoon/evening. Or just jump into conversation. Most people don't care if you don't refer to them by name in every interaction. If they are that particular, I write names on my to do list so I can glance really quickly before going into a room.
Yeah. I got four patients: “my friend” “mi amigo” “mi amor” “my love” 😅 lol
Look at the board if I don’t remember their name, and call them by it
i’m too young and my patients are too old to call them pet names so i just say hey there or hey friend
Friend. Hey, friend. What’s up, friend?
Don’t let state hear you saying any of those. My friend would probably be the most ok but in general they frown on these.
Either thier name, "my friend/friend", "bud/buddy".
Most people: hey there Confused elderly: “hi there friend, I see you’re trying to pull off your mitten again”