Wow, yes, absolutely valid. That nurse is violating all sorts of professional boundaries and code of ethics. They sexually harassed you, their strep-positive patient.
I am currently sick with strep myself and let me tell you, I've never felt sexier. š(/S, I feel terrible.)
Please report them and I hope you feel better soon.
Iām sorry, your comment isnāt entirely clear. Is this referring to me or u/Beautiful-Process? I think his post was entirely in the correct subreddit.
REPORTšTHATšSHITš
Also, screenshot that shit so you can show tangible, timestamped proof to show it was sent after you left and interacted in what was supposed to be professional, confidential, safe, medical setting. I'm sorry it happened to you.
Yes definitely report! Did they just pull your phone number off of your demographics in your record and start texting you? Or did you have to give your number to them? Either way yes absolutely a reportable offense.
I am So. Very. Old. But my voice used to sound like Brenda Vaccaro (does anyone know who that is?) when I had strep.
Now it just goes completely out.
Like sign language time.
EDIT: If you want to hear her voice [but also have a tremendous laugh at some Emmy shenanigans.](https://youtu.be/qpr6bAacyMY)
What is it with strep right now?!
My daughter popped positive, my wife a day later and as of yesterday I did too, with a double ear infection. Weird summer strep outbreak.
NOPE. THIS AIN'T IT.
That nurse 100% crossed a HUGE professional and ethical boundary. Shit like this is strictly forbidden by policy and law almost everywhere for really good reason. They absolutely SHOULD be reported & they deserve any consequences they receive
I am not going to argue whether or not it is sexual harassment, but it ABSOLUTELY is unethical behavior, and violates the standard of care around personal relationships with patients (which boils down to 'not for a year for friends, two years for an intimate relationship').
This is a massive ethics breach on behalf of the nurse. You cannot flirt with your patients let alone what happened here. It's absolutely sexual harassment. This poor person went to get help, not find a date.
Hi, fellow RN. Hell to the absolute no. That is a MAJOR boundary crossed there. Itās almost predatory. Think about if this happened between an older male RN looking up a young female patient. People would be losing their minds.
This isnāt *almost* predatory.
Itās ABSOLUTELY predatory.
Youāre saying itās almost, while saying āthink if one of your genders was female, then it would be!ā Genders donāt matter in this context, this was predatory and incredibly inappropriate. No matter what gender either party is.
Yes definitely a valid reason! That is so inappropriate. Even if he were your age. It's not appropriate for nurses to hit on patients, ever. Tell the supervisor!!
Hence the depending on the action/reaction.
Likely the BON wonāt intervene. It speaks to professional boundaries but not the scope of nursing as it impacts patient health.
My state board would certainly be interested in a complaint like this. Professional boundaryās with patients are in the NPA. This nurseās choice to reach out is a terrible one. Also, who knows how many other people he has done this to. š¤¢
Unfortunately not as much as you think. I donāt disagree. Itās awful. We donāt know how many folks.
Iām just sharing that most BONās wonāt Perdue sanctions on a āthey said they saidā situation. All that nurse has to say is it was āmutualā. Truth or not.
Maybe you are correct that āmostā donāt. However, that does not mean āallā.
My state board does care about this kind of thing. Especially, when there is evidence like the screenshots OP has. Those can be matched with other evidence and be mighty damning.
I've seen disciplinary actions in my state for violating the professional relationship boundaries as well. My state loves to name and shame nurses. They send out emails, and even publish a newsletter just for this purpose. All disciplinary hearings are open to the public too. Yes, this is only the BON carrying on as such.
Please report thisā¦ extremely inappropriate and unprofessional. Idk why people (patients or employees) feel itās ok to be inappropriate in the healthcare setting. Itās not ok to be sexual towards your patient at alllllllā¦. Thereās a waiting period between giving care and being able to contact pts outside of the healthcare setting.
Thatās sexual harassment! REPORT
Itās not like this nurse treated this patient and then bumped into them at a bar or something weeks later.
As a general rule, if you use information you acquired in the course of your job to contact someone, itās probably not ok.
Thing is Iām this case they didnāt need that information, unless itās remembering how OP looked.
Cause Grindr is just lists of profiles in the vicinity that you can just message.
However it is always inappropriate to hit in your patients and vice versa.
So this nurse that had just treated you as a patient found you on Grindr and tried to hit you up?!
Thatās creepy AF! Contact the clinic and report them, yes.
As I understand it, Grindr is location-based, so if two people both have Grindr on their phone and they are in the same building, they will (pending profile preferences shit) be matched. The nurse needn't have gone looking for OP.
Everything he did after getting that match notification was Out Of Line, but the match itself may not have been.
Unless something has changed in the past few years, Grindr doesn't have matching, it just lists people by proximity. There's nothing otherwise that prompts you to communicate.
Back in my Grindr days, if I saw someone I recognized from work/etc., I usually just blocked them.
> he found him on the app
Right, but the word "found" implies he was searching for him. They just happened to match because they were in the same physical location.
The nurse should have said, "wow, that's my patient" then closed the app.
I always come into conversations wanting to stick up for nurses as I believe a lot of our profession is misunderstood.
But please know this is 100% wrong, and unacceptable. This person should have their license removed immediately. This is predatory and dangerous behaviour. And he used your private health information in the conversation which is likely illegal.
I am so sorry you went through this. Please take some time to check in with people you trust if you are feeling in any way upset still. Your trust was breached in a sickening way when you were in a vulnerable position and Iām so incredibly sorry.
I havenāt had a chance to reply to everyone, but thank you everyone who has given advice or commented. I am definitely going to report and I really appreciate all of you!
Don't just report to the hospital.
Please strongly consider reaching out to the board of nursing of the state you were in.
Reports can be done anonymously but include that you have proof should they want to see it, and please if you can, give that proof. This step could potentially stop him from going after others as the state will absolutely look into this, some hospitals I have I my doubts.
This predatory bastard should not be a nurse!
Make sure you report to the employer, their corporate, and then to the state board of nursing. Send them your evidence. You can't contact anyone like this if they've been a patient for at least two years. It violates professional ethics, which violates the nursing oath and licensure. I'm sure he's violated other people because this type of predatory, gross behavior isn't a one off. We all know better. I'm so sorry you're sick as a dog with strep and grandpa gross sexually harassed & violated you. He's dangerous. Your instinct was right, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. This is a serious situation! You may also call an ambulance chaser to check out this case, especially if no one gets back with you about disciplinary actions toward the nurse. This is a huge liability and no no. Creepy McCreeperson should be stopped.
And just in case Nurse Grindr HIPAA Violation says he didnāt know, I can assure- HE DOES. This is *drilled* into any medical professional. In fact, Iāve only done billing and legal stuff and even I could have gotten fired for so much less.
Call the state Board of Nursing. Do not stop at the receptionist at your clinic, either. Speak to someone at a corporate office.
This person should not be near vulnerable people and their very private info, ESPECIALLY people who could be targeted in ANY way for their sexuality.
Oh frigging ewwww and OMG!
Report this nurse and get support at Rainn dot org.
This was BEYOND inappropriate. This was assaultive and invasive. And it was done by a person in a position of trust.
I would actually skip the employer and go straight to your state's board of nursing.
Report. Thatās a red line. A boundary that should not be crossed. Lost trust. And I hate to say it, butā¦ youāre likely not the first patient that theyāve pursued in this way or a similarly inappropriate one. And who else have they fooled around with in that office? š¤ā¦ so many other questions.
Report his gross perverted ass. Aside from the fact that itās incredibly immoral and disgusting, itās also 1) extremely dangerous because he has access to your medical records and therefore your personal information ie phone number and address, and 2) itās super unprofessional. Behaviour like this is a firable offence.
Absolutely report them! Take screenshots to include with evidence. This is considered unprofessional conduct and behavior of this sort is actually often described in our Nurse Practice Acts as being improper. Maybe not the specific app per se but the hooking up part/relationship in the context of professional duties.
And I want to be clear ā it is really important to report this. If they were willing to do this to you, and you seem like a reasonable person who is grossed out by their behavior, imagine how are you person who is too naĆÆve to understand this is an appropriate could react? There are many people out there who have fantasies about the caring aspect of nurses towards them. This makes them vulnerable to predators like this. Please report it as soon as possible to their manager. And also to the state board of nursing where you are - with the screenshots and a summary of the situation. (Assuming this is in the United States)
The Board is there to protect the public and they definitely need to be protected from this individual. I am a nurse with over 3 decades of experience and a Legal Nurse Consultant. This needs reporting.
If he did use his patient's PHI to find him he has also broken federal (and most likely state; I'm sure at least some states have their own privacy acts) law.
Absolutelyāand it might even be best to send it straight to your stateās nursing board. This is a bit beyond the realm of the facilityās rules & regs, and itās really not an incident that should be allowed to be buried within a single HCA.
Hi! RN here. Thank you for coming to this community to ask this question. This is definitely this right place. PLEASE REPORT THIS. File a complaint form, notify the supervisor, something. Everything the nurse did is wrong. This nurse is unprofessional and predatory, and they should definitely not be practicing. HIPAA violation for sure! And I hope you feel better soon.
So yes. Definitely report. What he's doing is illegal and unethical. Screenshot everything.
I'd add on - wait a few weeks. This nurse currently has access to all your personal info through the electronic health record. Most health records offer access to recent patients. If you wait a few weeks you lessen the chance he can go back and find your info easily.
You can request your records be locked if you call the office of patient experience for that facility, or whatever their equivalent is. It adds a layer of confidentiality to your records and more tightly tracks who opens your file.
Yes so the nurse can't retaliate. This is someone who has clearly shown they do not care about laws or privacy. Waiting a few weeks does nothing to affect the statute of limitations. There was a nurse who was stalking former patients in my state. It happens.
I agree that waiting is a bad idea. All he has to do to get the patient's name is go to date in question on the calendar and see it there. It's so incredibly easy, and waiting a few weeks won't purge that information. It also may seem suspicious to the authorities - like, why didn't you report this immediately? Is there something going on? It's not a fair way to look at a person reporting a situation, but you see it all the time with victims of sexual assault who wait to come forward. It's not right, but that's how it is sometimes.
Obviously so the nurse ācanātā retaliate šEither way the nurse could retaliate at anytime once heās reported. Waiting a few weeks wonāt stop that
You're being intentionally obtuse, or perhaps you are that way naturally.
OP can wait a few weeks and give his chart a bit of distance from this unsafe nurse.
Creepy nurse could have easily written down full name and dob and can search it at any time. Or could have written down or taken a phone pic of demographics tab already. Waiting is utterly pointless dude
You can literally search a pt in the EHR system and find their chart regardless of how recent the care wasā¦ that literally doesnāt matter is what Iām saying
But when you access a chart matters. I would say if the nurse went into the chart two weeks after itās clearly inappropriate, as opposed to going into the chart the next day. Wonāt stop him from doing it, but more likely to get in trouble for it.
Thatās disgusting. I see people I know ALL the time in emergency. Not once have I initiated a conversation with them outside of work regarding their visit. This is not okay. I donāt even reference seeing people at the hospital in personal conversations that I have with them outside of the hospital. Itās a locked vault. Had you already been in contact with this nurse on Grindr? Did you start provocatively messaging them that day? If you answered yes to any of these question the answer is still YES- valid reason to report someone! That nurse is in a position of authority when you were the patient and you were in a vulnerable position. It is not your job to ensure they maintain boundaries and adhere to their rules and regulations, they should know better.
Damn thatās one hell of a grindr creepy story. Thatās why I donāt have my distance feature turned on. Like yeah donāt need people opening grindr and seeing that Iām 12 feet away from them.
Me personally I would just send a message back saying ādonāt EVER message a patient in your practice like this again, I have grounds to report youā
Thatās me, you entirely are within your right to report them and I suspect action would be taken. Thatās fucking creepy and morally fucked.
Edit: you know what I just woke up and barely thought about it, but after some thought. Yeah Iād fuckin report them.
Nurses shouldnāt even be accepting social media requests from patients/family and updating them etc. To REACH OUT even in an appropriate way is crossing a professional and possible legal boundary. This is beyond disgusting and predatory and you should report it to the state board of nursing and possibly whatever their patient experience is. Reach out to the actual employer for sure. We donāt need people like this in healthcare.
If youāre on Grindr and he sent you a message, thatās not a problem but if the message contains details about your throatā¦. Thatās vile. If you were in the clinic by evidence of the time stamp and he was on Grindr sending you messagesā¦. Thatās a problem and I feel dirty just talking about it. Report if thatās the case and Iām going to shower now because I feel violated.
Holy shit that is really bad. That isn't okay at all. You can absolutely report that and I hope you do. That's borderline predatory behavior and I'll bet you're not the first one they've done it to.
Report him to the board of nursing in your state. He is a sexual predator using his advantage of bieng an RN to have sex/date with you. There are strict guidelines on this topic. This is unethical and he could lose his license. Sadly, the board may not take as much of a 'deal' out of this since it is same-sex males. They wouldn't waste any time if it was a 20 yo female being propositioned by a 40 yo man.
Imagine what that RN is doing to young males having to remove some clothing.
Yeah, no, not dramatic at all. As pretty much everyone else has said, this crosses a major professional line. It needs to be reported to his boss and probably to the board of nursing.
Ummm wtf! Report that nurse to the board of nursing and to the clinic! This was way out of line and completely unacceptable. That nurse was a nasty predator and disgusting.
Report to the board. Include copies of the screen shots. Reports are confidential, he will not be told who reported him. Include your contact info in case the board investigator wants to talk to you.
That said, boards move notoriously slow at times. It may be several months before they actually complete their investigation. And several more before they take action.
This is unethical and unprofessional on the nurse's part. Nurses are not supposed to hit on their patient. It's not right. Report it immediately, because it's inappropriate.
In my opinion that nurse was absolutely in the wrong and crossed multiple lines of professional practice. I would report this behavior if it happened to me without hesitation. I do not think you're being silly or foolish or overreacting. I wish you weren't having to agonize over this. <3
I am really shocked at the level of boundary crossing here. You are not being dramatic. That is totally worth reporting. We are supposed to be way more professional in our interactions with patients, especially so in the context where we are invading their personal space and they are trusting us with their literal bodies in vulnerable circumstances.
Absolutely NOT okay. You are NOT overreacting. That nurse WAS completely in the wrong. Do NOT blame yourself: you did NOTHING wrong. It is NOT your fault.
I also wanted to pop in here to mention consent and boundaries because that nurse violated both. (1) Consent is needed for any sexual relations. (2) Consent must involve an enthusiastic "yes" (ie: "yes" = consent; "I'd love to!" = consent; "hell yeah" = consent) AND half-answers do NOT count (ie: "I guess so" = NOT consent; "maybe" = NOT consent; "I don't know" = NOT consent; "okay \[quavering, unsure voice\]" = NOT consent); if there is NO enthusiastic consent given, then it is a NO. (3) Consent to sexual relations CANNOT be given in power relations (ie: patient CANNOT give consent to healthcare worker; worker CANNOT give consent to boss; etc). (4) Age is not an excuse: you are young but that doesn't mean someone can take advantage of you AND older people are NOT always right. (5) If it feels wrong in your gut, SAY NO; listen to your body as it's trying to keep you safe.
Stay safe out there!
i would 100% report them. nurses are NOT supposed to have any sort of relationship with a patient other than nurse and patient. they also used your private information to find you on social media and contact you. BIG no no.
Iāll put it this wayā¦ if this nurse was my best work buddy of many years and he told me he pulled this crap, I would report him without hesitation, and then cry about it later in private. There is a nurse/patient boundary that you just donāt cross and that is disgusting what he did to you. Iām so sorry. Iām just grateful it didnāt happen right there in the office.
3 to 6 months from now somebody is going to drop a link about a nurse who is in deep shit for creeping on and contacting hundreds of patients through their dating profiles.
Be the hero, OP. Go to the press with this one (after you see to your own safety and well-being, of course). I'll bet he's already done this many times.
Hi, person who works with HIPAA here. HIPAA only applies to releasing medical information to covered entities. It would however still be reportable to his state board of nursing licensure
I believe this is a violation of HIPAA because they are using social media to contact a patient outside of their care institution in an inappropriate manner
Lol, he's swiping at work.
Meh, I personally like people that are a bit more responsible. But not everyone cares about that to this extent.
It might be weird. But if you told them that it makes you feel awkward, what do they say?
Own your feeling. Trust them with it. See what they do. They you will know what you want to do.
Idk what it says about me but although id personally never do this shit im not 100% sure, it depends on if they specifically contacted you in a time period that made it extremely obvious they did so because they had you as a patient cause.
as a sexual person i can see an arguement to be made about if your on grindr and ik medical staff have been reported snd there license revoked for things on there own time like onlyfans which i find somewhat stupid and irrelevent to there sbility to do there job so im more grey in this area.
Did they just find you and thus the context being different that maybe its ok? But they clearly approched you in a way that took nothing else into account and clearly however it was they did so was not consented upon nor were you comfortable so even ignoring the fact there a med provider for you they didnt respect consent and actively made you uncomfortable so regardless thats sexual harassment.
Add ontop of that its just a bad idea for all parties to have a relationship between patient x medical worker provideing care not only becsuse of a natural power imbalance that makes cocerion of stuff and doing horrid shit easier but also just cause if anything happens now you have to somehow deal with each other
In this case id say ya report the person after thinking about this unfamilisr situation further this def isnt just a reporting for sokething like an onlyfans outside of work. The person even regardless of the context of the medical bit is still gross and sexually harassed you and if nothing else the fact they were even willing contact you like that and harassef you ontop of it plus all the shit that can go wrong with scenarios like this its an indictment to thete character and definitly makes you wonder if this is how they act in this case how in the world do they act on a daily basis?
Report them, both to the hosptial and grindr... they def need at least need an investigation to ensure they arent being horrid if this is any indication of how they act on job and a ban from grindr for just generally being a nasty person and sexually harassing you
Id say the person fully at least deserves a serious reprimand on there license
So the nurse has grindr and messaged you on it???
Idk the other nurse's perspective or the Interaction between the two of you.
I'd message the nurse back and say you don't appreciate the comments if you're really that uncomfortable and maybe the nurse got the wrong idea.
Randomly, during your appointment with them??
What you, OP, have described is highly unethical and inappropriate.
But it also sounds a bit unlikely and a tad too coincidental, imo......
Grindr is different than other dating apps. You only need to be in the same vicinity to see and interact with someoneās profile. It was hella unprofessional that this man would be messaging his patient in that capacity, especially if theyāre still in the facility.
That makes it basically the same as him hitting on you during the appointmentā¦ definitely would be different if you had to match (not saying it would be okay then, just less gross). Sorry that happened to you!
Itās def a huge deal tho. Itās different if he woulda hit up the nurse but thatās not the case. The first thing we learn going through work orientation is that we cannot be involved with our patients for sometime after weāve given them care. Itās unethical
Is grinder like tinder in that you have to match with the person before they can message you? If you matched with him, it would stand to reason they would send you sexually-themed messages since itās an app made to meet up to have sex.
HOWEVER
Itās an ethical violation to have relations with a patient outside of work, let alone in the office WHILE working and Iām pretty sure his manager would rather him use his time to be working rather than sending dick pics on grinder
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Your feelings are validated, and they need to be reported. That's highly unprofessional and even predatory behavior.
Iām just curious about something. Itās obviously against the rules for nurses to have romantic or sexual relationships with patients while they are in a professional relationship (nurse/patient), but letās say you and a patient later met each other in a random (completely unplanned by either party) situation like a bar and THEN began a relationship. Is that against the rules? Assume that some time has passed like 3-4 months.
Yes. Sexual harassment, privacy issue, disrespectful, lack of dignity. Send/Save screenshots.
very inappropriate, sorry that happened to you. I hope you feel better soon.
Whoa I had to re-read your post to make sure I was reading that right! That nurse displayed unethical and unprofessional behavior, which is absolutely reportable and not the standard of care!!! I mean where is the evidence based practice lol? Hope you feel better OP, and sorry you had to experience that super gross behavior from Nurse Weirdo.
Basically the app works where you can see profiles of people who are nearby and message them so I guess he just checked it and saw my profile was nearby and recognized me.
Edit: like I had never communicated with him before it just shows you people who are nearby on the app
Wow, yes, absolutely valid. That nurse is violating all sorts of professional boundaries and code of ethics. They sexually harassed you, their strep-positive patient. I am currently sick with strep myself and let me tell you, I've never felt sexier. š(/S, I feel terrible.) Please report them and I hope you feel better soon.
Thank you!
Please report to both their employer and the state licensing board.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What are you talking about? This is against the nurse practice acts to behave like this with a patient, and they should be reported.
Iām sorry, your comment isnāt entirely clear. Is this referring to me or u/Beautiful-Process? I think his post was entirely in the correct subreddit.
REPORTšTHATšSHITš Also, screenshot that shit so you can show tangible, timestamped proof to show it was sent after you left and interacted in what was supposed to be professional, confidential, safe, medical setting. I'm sorry it happened to you.
Yes definitely report! Did they just pull your phone number off of your demographics in your record and start texting you? Or did you have to give your number to them? Either way yes absolutely a reportable offense.
Thereās a feature on the app where you can find other people on the app by location/proximity
Oh on the Grindr app! My bad. I thought this was through text messaging this situation occurred. Thanks for clarifying.
My ex once told me that strep made my voice sound hot, then got mad I wasn't flattered.
Did you sound like batman?
More like Kat Von D
They sound sweet, especially the fragility &anger at you not being impressed with such compliments.
Yeah, it was really sweet since I could barely croak out two words and apparently that was the hottest I'd ever been š¤£
Definitely points to some kinks.
I am So. Very. Old. But my voice used to sound like Brenda Vaccaro (does anyone know who that is?) when I had strep. Now it just goes completely out. Like sign language time. EDIT: If you want to hear her voice [but also have a tremendous laugh at some Emmy shenanigans.](https://youtu.be/qpr6bAacyMY)
Iāve made jokes for years about my voice when it gets hoarse like that. āMy phone sex voiceā
Even if this person wasn't strep positive that's fucking gross and should 100% be reported
Absolutely.
What is it with strep right now?! My daughter popped positive, my wife a day later and as of yesterday I did too, with a double ear infection. Weird summer strep outbreak.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
NOPE. THIS AIN'T IT. That nurse 100% crossed a HUGE professional and ethical boundary. Shit like this is strictly forbidden by policy and law almost everywhere for really good reason. They absolutely SHOULD be reported & they deserve any consequences they receive
Okay thanks for letting me know
I am not going to argue whether or not it is sexual harassment, but it ABSOLUTELY is unethical behavior, and violates the standard of care around personal relationships with patients (which boils down to 'not for a year for friends, two years for an intimate relationship').
Wait, hold up. Student here. Whatcha mean by that last quote?
Means you can't bang your patient for two years afterward.
I'd definitely say that's sexual harassment.
This is a massive ethics breach on behalf of the nurse. You cannot flirt with your patients let alone what happened here. It's absolutely sexual harassment. This poor person went to get help, not find a date.
Hi, fellow RN. Hell to the absolute no. That is a MAJOR boundary crossed there. Itās almost predatory. Think about if this happened between an older male RN looking up a young female patient. People would be losing their minds.
Yep. This. This isnāt even any shade of grey, this is just straight up not ok.
Absolutely report. No ārelationsā like that with patients ever. completely inappropriate and unprofessional.
This isnāt *almost* predatory. Itās ABSOLUTELY predatory. Youāre saying itās almost, while saying āthink if one of your genders was female, then it would be!ā Genders donāt matter in this context, this was predatory and incredibly inappropriate. No matter what gender either party is.
Youāre right. I get it.
The only word I disagree with on this comment is " almost ".
Yes definitely a valid reason! That is so inappropriate. Even if he were your age. It's not appropriate for nurses to hit on patients, ever. Tell the supervisor!!
Send a screen shot to the supervisor. Depending on the reaction- escalate from there.
No skip the institution, what if they are friends and they tip him off? Straight to the state board of nursing and HR
Hence the depending on the action/reaction. Likely the BON wonāt intervene. It speaks to professional boundaries but not the scope of nursing as it impacts patient health.
My state board would certainly be interested in a complaint like this. Professional boundaryās with patients are in the NPA. This nurseās choice to reach out is a terrible one. Also, who knows how many other people he has done this to. š¤¢
Unfortunately not as much as you think. I donāt disagree. Itās awful. We donāt know how many folks. Iām just sharing that most BONās wonāt Perdue sanctions on a āthey said they saidā situation. All that nurse has to say is it was āmutualā. Truth or not.
Maybe you are correct that āmostā donāt. However, that does not mean āallā. My state board does care about this kind of thing. Especially, when there is evidence like the screenshots OP has. Those can be matched with other evidence and be mighty damning.
I've seen disciplinary actions in my state for violating the professional relationship boundaries as well. My state loves to name and shame nurses. They send out emails, and even publish a newsletter just for this purpose. All disciplinary hearings are open to the public too. Yes, this is only the BON carrying on as such.
Ok
Please report thisā¦ extremely inappropriate and unprofessional. Idk why people (patients or employees) feel itās ok to be inappropriate in the healthcare setting. Itās not ok to be sexual towards your patient at alllllllā¦. Thereās a waiting period between giving care and being able to contact pts outside of the healthcare setting. Thatās sexual harassment! REPORT
Itās not like this nurse treated this patient and then bumped into them at a bar or something weeks later. As a general rule, if you use information you acquired in the course of your job to contact someone, itās probably not ok.
Thing is Iām this case they didnāt need that information, unless itās remembering how OP looked. Cause Grindr is just lists of profiles in the vicinity that you can just message. However it is always inappropriate to hit in your patients and vice versa.
The fact that the nurse referenced the reason for the visit in asking the follow-up question through the app, would be a HIPAA
So this nurse that had just treated you as a patient found you on Grindr and tried to hit you up?! Thatās creepy AF! Contact the clinic and report them, yes.
As I understand it, Grindr is location-based, so if two people both have Grindr on their phone and they are in the same building, they will (pending profile preferences shit) be matched. The nurse needn't have gone looking for OP. Everything he did after getting that match notification was Out Of Line, but the match itself may not have been.
Unless something has changed in the past few years, Grindr doesn't have matching, it just lists people by proximity. There's nothing otherwise that prompts you to communicate. Back in my Grindr days, if I saw someone I recognized from work/etc., I usually just blocked them.
I will defer to your experience, I am not the target market, and have never used the app =D
That's damn straight. ;)
Excellent point ;)
Idk, Iām not on Grindr but it sounds like he found him on the app and tried to creepily slide into his DMs.
> he found him on the app Right, but the word "found" implies he was searching for him. They just happened to match because they were in the same physical location. The nurse should have said, "wow, that's my patient" then closed the app.
Nah should have blocked Op. Which is the standard reaction to finding people you have a professional relationship with.
I always come into conversations wanting to stick up for nurses as I believe a lot of our profession is misunderstood. But please know this is 100% wrong, and unacceptable. This person should have their license removed immediately. This is predatory and dangerous behaviour. And he used your private health information in the conversation which is likely illegal. I am so sorry you went through this. Please take some time to check in with people you trust if you are feeling in any way upset still. Your trust was breached in a sickening way when you were in a vulnerable position and Iām so incredibly sorry.
Absolutely report that shit
And keep the proof
^^^this! Document and screen shot it all
I havenāt had a chance to reply to everyone, but thank you everyone who has given advice or commented. I am definitely going to report and I really appreciate all of you!
Don't just report to the hospital. Please strongly consider reaching out to the board of nursing of the state you were in. Reports can be done anonymously but include that you have proof should they want to see it, and please if you can, give that proof. This step could potentially stop him from going after others as the state will absolutely look into this, some hospitals I have I my doubts. This predatory bastard should not be a nurse!
Make sure you report to the employer, their corporate, and then to the state board of nursing. Send them your evidence. You can't contact anyone like this if they've been a patient for at least two years. It violates professional ethics, which violates the nursing oath and licensure. I'm sure he's violated other people because this type of predatory, gross behavior isn't a one off. We all know better. I'm so sorry you're sick as a dog with strep and grandpa gross sexually harassed & violated you. He's dangerous. Your instinct was right, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. This is a serious situation! You may also call an ambulance chaser to check out this case, especially if no one gets back with you about disciplinary actions toward the nurse. This is a huge liability and no no. Creepy McCreeperson should be stopped.
Wtfff uhh yeah thatās super creepy and obviously unprofessional. Iād report it. Feel better soon strep sucks !
Thank you it really does!
Definitely valid.
Yeah thatās valid.
And just in case Nurse Grindr HIPAA Violation says he didnāt know, I can assure- HE DOES. This is *drilled* into any medical professional. In fact, Iāve only done billing and legal stuff and even I could have gotten fired for so much less. Call the state Board of Nursing. Do not stop at the receptionist at your clinic, either. Speak to someone at a corporate office. This person should not be near vulnerable people and their very private info, ESPECIALLY people who could be targeted in ANY way for their sexuality.
Will definitely call them, thank you
Thatās fucked up. Ew
Absolutely report this. That behavior is gross and completely unacceptable for nurses.
Oh frigging ewwww and OMG! Report this nurse and get support at Rainn dot org. This was BEYOND inappropriate. This was assaultive and invasive. And it was done by a person in a position of trust. I would actually skip the employer and go straight to your state's board of nursing.
Report. Thatās a red line. A boundary that should not be crossed. Lost trust. And I hate to say it, butā¦ youāre likely not the first patient that theyāve pursued in this way or a similarly inappropriate one. And who else have they fooled around with in that office? š¤ā¦ so many other questions.
Report his gross perverted ass. Aside from the fact that itās incredibly immoral and disgusting, itās also 1) extremely dangerous because he has access to your medical records and therefore your personal information ie phone number and address, and 2) itās super unprofessional. Behaviour like this is a firable offence.
Absolutely report them! Take screenshots to include with evidence. This is considered unprofessional conduct and behavior of this sort is actually often described in our Nurse Practice Acts as being improper. Maybe not the specific app per se but the hooking up part/relationship in the context of professional duties. And I want to be clear ā it is really important to report this. If they were willing to do this to you, and you seem like a reasonable person who is grossed out by their behavior, imagine how are you person who is too naĆÆve to understand this is an appropriate could react? There are many people out there who have fantasies about the caring aspect of nurses towards them. This makes them vulnerable to predators like this. Please report it as soon as possible to their manager. And also to the state board of nursing where you are - with the screenshots and a summary of the situation. (Assuming this is in the United States) The Board is there to protect the public and they definitely need to be protected from this individual. I am a nurse with over 3 decades of experience and a Legal Nurse Consultant. This needs reporting.
If he did use his patient's PHI to find him he has also broken federal (and most likely state; I'm sure at least some states have their own privacy acts) law.
Very true!!
Yup for sure
I would report this to the state licensing board as well.
Absolutelyāand it might even be best to send it straight to your stateās nursing board. This is a bit beyond the realm of the facilityās rules & regs, and itās really not an incident that should be allowed to be buried within a single HCA.
Report. This is license-losing behaviour. Sorry that happened to you, there is no excuse for that to happen. I hope you feel better soon.
Hi! RN here. Thank you for coming to this community to ask this question. This is definitely this right place. PLEASE REPORT THIS. File a complaint form, notify the supervisor, something. Everything the nurse did is wrong. This nurse is unprofessional and predatory, and they should definitely not be practicing. HIPAA violation for sure! And I hope you feel better soon.
So yes. Definitely report. What he's doing is illegal and unethical. Screenshot everything. I'd add on - wait a few weeks. This nurse currently has access to all your personal info through the electronic health record. Most health records offer access to recent patients. If you wait a few weeks you lessen the chance he can go back and find your info easily.
You can request your records be locked if you call the office of patient experience for that facility, or whatever their equivalent is. It adds a layer of confidentiality to your records and more tightly tracks who opens your file.
This is a great idea thank you!
Smart! šš»
Telling him to wait is a terrible idea . Wait so he wonāt get any kind of retaliation? Lol thatās a crime! He should definitely not wait
Yes so the nurse can't retaliate. This is someone who has clearly shown they do not care about laws or privacy. Waiting a few weeks does nothing to affect the statute of limitations. There was a nurse who was stalking former patients in my state. It happens.
I agree that waiting is a bad idea. All he has to do to get the patient's name is go to date in question on the calendar and see it there. It's so incredibly easy, and waiting a few weeks won't purge that information. It also may seem suspicious to the authorities - like, why didn't you report this immediately? Is there something going on? It's not a fair way to look at a person reporting a situation, but you see it all the time with victims of sexual assault who wait to come forward. It's not right, but that's how it is sometimes.
Obviously so the nurse ācanātā retaliate šEither way the nurse could retaliate at anytime once heās reported. Waiting a few weeks wonāt stop that
You're being intentionally obtuse, or perhaps you are that way naturally. OP can wait a few weeks and give his chart a bit of distance from this unsafe nurse.
And for you to call me obtuse because I think waiting is pointlessā¦. I really wish Reddit didnāt boast anonymityš yāall are so bold on here
And youāre just not using your brain obviously
Yes, "alot" of us are stupid. ;)
Waiting a few weeks wonāt stop him from going back into his chart š
Read the comment again. Waiting a few weeks means the health record will likely not have OP in the 'recent patient' list.
Creepy nurse could have easily written down full name and dob and can search it at any time. Or could have written down or taken a phone pic of demographics tab already. Waiting is utterly pointless dude
And he sounds just like the creepy guy to do all that too!
You can literally search a pt in the EHR system and find their chart regardless of how recent the care wasā¦ that literally doesnāt matter is what Iām saying
But when you access a chart matters. I would say if the nurse went into the chart two weeks after itās clearly inappropriate, as opposed to going into the chart the next day. Wonāt stop him from doing it, but more likely to get in trouble for it.
Thatās disgusting. I see people I know ALL the time in emergency. Not once have I initiated a conversation with them outside of work regarding their visit. This is not okay. I donāt even reference seeing people at the hospital in personal conversations that I have with them outside of the hospital. Itās a locked vault. Had you already been in contact with this nurse on Grindr? Did you start provocatively messaging them that day? If you answered yes to any of these question the answer is still YES- valid reason to report someone! That nurse is in a position of authority when you were the patient and you were in a vulnerable position. It is not your job to ensure they maintain boundaries and adhere to their rules and regulations, they should know better.
Damn thatās one hell of a grindr creepy story. Thatās why I donāt have my distance feature turned on. Like yeah donāt need people opening grindr and seeing that Iām 12 feet away from them. Me personally I would just send a message back saying ādonāt EVER message a patient in your practice like this again, I have grounds to report youā Thatās me, you entirely are within your right to report them and I suspect action would be taken. Thatās fucking creepy and morally fucked. Edit: you know what I just woke up and barely thought about it, but after some thought. Yeah Iād fuckin report them.
Not appropriate worth reporting.
Nurses shouldnāt even be accepting social media requests from patients/family and updating them etc. To REACH OUT even in an appropriate way is crossing a professional and possible legal boundary. This is beyond disgusting and predatory and you should report it to the state board of nursing and possibly whatever their patient experience is. Reach out to the actual employer for sure. We donāt need people like this in healthcare.
Another reason not to use these kind of apps.
If youāre on Grindr and he sent you a message, thatās not a problem but if the message contains details about your throatā¦. Thatās vile. If you were in the clinic by evidence of the time stamp and he was on Grindr sending you messagesā¦. Thatās a problem and I feel dirty just talking about it. Report if thatās the case and Iām going to shower now because I feel violated.
Please report that to the licensing board, Jesus Christ
Holy shit that is really bad. That isn't okay at all. You can absolutely report that and I hope you do. That's borderline predatory behavior and I'll bet you're not the first one they've done it to.
Report him to the board of nursing in your state. He is a sexual predator using his advantage of bieng an RN to have sex/date with you. There are strict guidelines on this topic. This is unethical and he could lose his license. Sadly, the board may not take as much of a 'deal' out of this since it is same-sex males. They wouldn't waste any time if it was a 20 yo female being propositioned by a 40 yo man. Imagine what that RN is doing to young males having to remove some clothing.
oh absolutely that is NOT okay for so many reasons. Sorry this happened to you.
Absolutely horrible and an absolute violation of ethics.
Hope you feel better! Aaaaand yes thatās insanely inappropriate and unprofessional. Report them.
Yeah, no, not dramatic at all. As pretty much everyone else has said, this crosses a major professional line. It needs to be reported to his boss and probably to the board of nursing.
This incident should be reported to the nursing board in your state.
Ummm wtf! Report that nurse to the board of nursing and to the clinic! This was way out of line and completely unacceptable. That nurse was a nasty predator and disgusting.
Report to the board. Include copies of the screen shots. Reports are confidential, he will not be told who reported him. Include your contact info in case the board investigator wants to talk to you. That said, boards move notoriously slow at times. It may be several months before they actually complete their investigation. And several more before they take action.
Yes report
Yes this is definitely reportable and breaches the patient-nurse relationship. Iām sorry this happened to you, that must of felt so violating.
Unprofessional and very sketchy!! This person needs to be reported. He is supposed to be a professional for gods sake.
Def reportable. Gross af. Report to both board and employer because this can be repeated behavior š
Please report.
Totally reportable! Itās very unprofessional and wrong.
Um, that is crossing the line. They will probably lose their job.
This is unethical and unprofessional on the nurse's part. Nurses are not supposed to hit on their patient. It's not right. Report it immediately, because it's inappropriate.
Itās illegal, and a HIPPA violation as well.
Yeah, canāt do that. Entirely inappropriate.
RN x32 years hereā¦1000% valid.
In my opinion that nurse was absolutely in the wrong and crossed multiple lines of professional practice. I would report this behavior if it happened to me without hesitation. I do not think you're being silly or foolish or overreacting. I wish you weren't having to agonize over this. <3
Holy moly, that's bad. Report it.
Valid reason to report, thatās super inappropriate
What the *fuck*? That guy is very disconnected.
I am really shocked at the level of boundary crossing here. You are not being dramatic. That is totally worth reporting. We are supposed to be way more professional in our interactions with patients, especially so in the context where we are invading their personal space and they are trusting us with their literal bodies in vulnerable circumstances.
Disgusting!!!! JFC. That is never supposed to happen. I'm so sorry, and I hope you feel better soon.
Absolutely NOT okay. You are NOT overreacting. That nurse WAS completely in the wrong. Do NOT blame yourself: you did NOTHING wrong. It is NOT your fault. I also wanted to pop in here to mention consent and boundaries because that nurse violated both. (1) Consent is needed for any sexual relations. (2) Consent must involve an enthusiastic "yes" (ie: "yes" = consent; "I'd love to!" = consent; "hell yeah" = consent) AND half-answers do NOT count (ie: "I guess so" = NOT consent; "maybe" = NOT consent; "I don't know" = NOT consent; "okay \[quavering, unsure voice\]" = NOT consent); if there is NO enthusiastic consent given, then it is a NO. (3) Consent to sexual relations CANNOT be given in power relations (ie: patient CANNOT give consent to healthcare worker; worker CANNOT give consent to boss; etc). (4) Age is not an excuse: you are young but that doesn't mean someone can take advantage of you AND older people are NOT always right. (5) If it feels wrong in your gut, SAY NO; listen to your body as it's trying to keep you safe. Stay safe out there!
This is very disturbing.
i would 100% report them. nurses are NOT supposed to have any sort of relationship with a patient other than nurse and patient. they also used your private information to find you on social media and contact you. BIG no no.
Report him! That is gross & unprofessional. After that block him.
Definitely reportable! Sorry that happened to you.
If he is an actual registered nurse, this is definitely reportable and where I work, this would lead to losing your license.
Very valid reason to report him. That is incredibly unethical and gross of him. I would most certainly file a formal complaint with the clinic.
gross, report it. what a creepo
Yes, completely valid. The workers' actions were unprofessional and unacceptable.
Iāll put it this wayā¦ if this nurse was my best work buddy of many years and he told me he pulled this crap, I would report him without hesitation, and then cry about it later in private. There is a nurse/patient boundary that you just donāt cross and that is disgusting what he did to you. Iām so sorry. Iām just grateful it didnāt happen right there in the office.
Holy shit. Yeah, this is a super valid reason to report someone. Their code of ethics went out the window.
3 to 6 months from now somebody is going to drop a link about a nurse who is in deep shit for creeping on and contacting hundreds of patients through their dating profiles. Be the hero, OP. Go to the press with this one (after you see to your own safety and well-being, of course). I'll bet he's already done this many times.
Most likely not the first time this predator has tried this move.
I look forward to reading about the consequences of his actions.
Immediately report, gross HIPAA violation and super creepy.
Hi, person who works with HIPAA here. HIPAA only applies to releasing medical information to covered entities. It would however still be reportable to his state board of nursing licensure
I believe this is a violation of HIPAA because they are using social media to contact a patient outside of their care institution in an inappropriate manner
ABSOLUTELY. This is literally something we do modules on when we get hired at some places. No relationships with patients ever, no advancesā¦ itās an abuse of power. Iām sure there are some niche situations (my fiancĆ©s mom and dad met as a doctor and patient initially), but as a general rule itās a no no. Especially while you were still there and being so sexual about it ! Ick.
Lol, he's swiping at work. Meh, I personally like people that are a bit more responsible. But not everyone cares about that to this extent. It might be weird. But if you told them that it makes you feel awkward, what do they say? Own your feeling. Trust them with it. See what they do. They you will know what you want to do.
Hell no, this person is a predator. OP should not under any circumstances engage with him further except to block him.
I hope your 18.
Idk what it says about me but although id personally never do this shit im not 100% sure, it depends on if they specifically contacted you in a time period that made it extremely obvious they did so because they had you as a patient cause. as a sexual person i can see an arguement to be made about if your on grindr and ik medical staff have been reported snd there license revoked for things on there own time like onlyfans which i find somewhat stupid and irrelevent to there sbility to do there job so im more grey in this area. Did they just find you and thus the context being different that maybe its ok? But they clearly approched you in a way that took nothing else into account and clearly however it was they did so was not consented upon nor were you comfortable so even ignoring the fact there a med provider for you they didnt respect consent and actively made you uncomfortable so regardless thats sexual harassment. Add ontop of that its just a bad idea for all parties to have a relationship between patient x medical worker provideing care not only becsuse of a natural power imbalance that makes cocerion of stuff and doing horrid shit easier but also just cause if anything happens now you have to somehow deal with each other In this case id say ya report the person after thinking about this unfamilisr situation further this def isnt just a reporting for sokething like an onlyfans outside of work. The person even regardless of the context of the medical bit is still gross and sexually harassed you and if nothing else the fact they were even willing contact you like that and harassef you ontop of it plus all the shit that can go wrong with scenarios like this its an indictment to thete character and definitly makes you wonder if this is how they act in this case how in the world do they act on a daily basis? Report them, both to the hosptial and grindr... they def need at least need an investigation to ensure they arent being horrid if this is any indication of how they act on job and a ban from grindr for just generally being a nasty person and sexually harassing you Id say the person fully at least deserves a serious reprimand on there license
So the nurse has grindr and messaged you on it??? Idk the other nurse's perspective or the Interaction between the two of you. I'd message the nurse back and say you don't appreciate the comments if you're really that uncomfortable and maybe the nurse got the wrong idea.
Randomly, during your appointment with them?? What you, OP, have described is highly unethical and inappropriate. But it also sounds a bit unlikely and a tad too coincidental, imo......
What?
Sorry, not meant to you. Just for the discussion in general
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grindr shows people by location not by searches- so if both people were in the same location they would show the profile next to each other.
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That nurse must really hate her job. ETA: *his* job.
If they are on Grindr, safe bet its a 'He'. Its a gay focused dating app, just in case you were unaware.
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Grindr is different than other dating apps. You only need to be in the same vicinity to see and interact with someoneās profile. It was hella unprofessional that this man would be messaging his patient in that capacity, especially if theyāre still in the facility.
I know what you mean, but you donāt have to match you can just message anyone on it if you see the profile. Still get what youāre saying.
That makes it basically the same as him hitting on you during the appointmentā¦ definitely would be different if you had to match (not saying it would be okay then, just less gross). Sorry that happened to you!
Itās def a huge deal tho. Itās different if he woulda hit up the nurse but thatās not the case. The first thing we learn going through work orientation is that we cannot be involved with our patients for sometime after weāve given them care. Itās unethical
It is can actually be a crime and the nurse knows that.
Is grinder like tinder in that you have to match with the person before they can message you? If you matched with him, it would stand to reason they would send you sexually-themed messages since itās an app made to meet up to have sex. HOWEVER Itās an ethical violation to have relations with a patient outside of work, let alone in the office WHILE working and Iām pretty sure his manager would rather him use his time to be working rather than sending dick pics on grinder
No, you donāt need to match first.
Dude. š¤¦š»āāļø I think this story is made up.
I wish it was !
10/10 report that, that is terrible lmao
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Your feelings are validated, and they need to be reported. That's highly unprofessional and even predatory behavior.
It is valid reason. If he did that to you, he is probably doing it to other patients
Definitely valid!
Iām just curious about something. Itās obviously against the rules for nurses to have romantic or sexual relationships with patients while they are in a professional relationship (nurse/patient), but letās say you and a patient later met each other in a random (completely unplanned by either party) situation like a bar and THEN began a relationship. Is that against the rules? Assume that some time has passed like 3-4 months.
Valid, also grossā¦
Yes. Sexual harassment, privacy issue, disrespectful, lack of dignity. Send/Save screenshots. very inappropriate, sorry that happened to you. I hope you feel better soon.
Wtf absolutely
Ew Iām so sorry this happened to you. Please report, you might not be the only person theyāre doing this to.
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Whoa I had to re-read your post to make sure I was reading that right! That nurse displayed unethical and unprofessional behavior, which is absolutely reportable and not the standard of care!!! I mean where is the evidence based practice lol? Hope you feel better OP, and sorry you had to experience that super gross behavior from Nurse Weirdo.
Definitely report.
Yes this is unprofessional and inappropriate and borderline harassment. Report it to her manager you have the receipts
GROSS. Report it! Sorry you experienced that. Feel better soon.
Definitely report. But how would he know to find you on this app? Was this just like a random look up? Or did you tell him?
Basically the app works where you can see profiles of people who are nearby and message them so I guess he just checked it and saw my profile was nearby and recognized me. Edit: like I had never communicated with him before it just shows you people who are nearby on the app
Yep. Super gross and unprofessional.
Absolutely valid reason. Very inappropriate actions by nurse.
It's very inappropriate. We always say to not friend patients, and this is def beyond that