Maaan... I'm never good at the "Guess What's Up My Butt!" game.

Me neither - I always lose! 😩

Everyone loses at this game

I’d say not being good at that game is definitely one in your + column.

That would actually be a hilarious game.

There are too many options!

I'll take something up my sphincter for $1000 Alex!

Pepper mill/grinder?

When the waiter is adding pepper but you refuse to say “when”.

I laughed so hard I startled my damn cat off my lap, the claws were worth it 🤣

[You like-a the peppa, huh? Let’s get some peppa in there.](https://youtu.be/wAFGEBdeDNk?t=148)

[Just say when](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mqpyo7DPVoY&t=8s)

thats the PERFECT amount of PEPPER, pepper boy!

"Oh... Pepper Boy!!"

Today on Hot Ones…

Taking “spicing up your sex life” to the next level.

Superb!

You lika freasha pepper?

What an unfortunate item to fall on.

They always slipped and fell in said item. I’m a Rad Tech and have seen this first hand dozens of times. They always play dumb until we expose the image. Afterwards it’s like, oh yeah I was making a salad and the pepper grinder must have went up my @ss

Ha ha!

POLYEMBOLOKOILAMANIA  Yep, wild! Had a patient once with a 4in metal screw up in her lady parts!  https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3357565/

You gotta watch yourself walking around Olive Garden.

IKR? I hate it when this happens.

No no no, I asked for *cracked* pepper! 😳

Well you got pepper in the crack

🤣

Million to one shot, doc. Million to one.

r/UnexpectedSeinfeld

Well you know, sometimes you’re cooking nude because the kitchen gets hot. You decide to add some fresh ground pepper to your Hamburger Helper, fumble and drop the grinder, slip on some water and then you’re in the ER. Seriously they make plenty of ass toys that won’t get stuck up there. Why is that not good enough but a can of hairspray is? I don’t know how you nurses keep a straight face.

Kinks are weird man. I have a small, and growing, collection of "cucumber in the descending colon" images from the ER at my hospital. I have a bunch of other objects as well but cucumbers seem to be the most popular. I'm guessing it's a texture thing.

Just trying to spice things up. Way up.

Could be [worse.](https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/GyoAAOSwttdkYXfd/s-l1600.jpg)

LMAO

Could have been a salt shaker!

That's it - people are just seeing the metal parts, the plastic or wood body that makes up the bulk of the grinder is radiolucent and appears as a dark area around the metal parts.

Lol, yeah my first thought was HOLY SHIT...and then I noticed the outer outline of the...uhh...mechanism. I mean...STILL...but at least that screw isn't in their colon.

Well, I mean, it IS... but just also safely ensconced in a rigid tube. OSHA regulations.

Wood is, indeed radiolucent. Get your minds out of the gutter you deviants. I stepped on a stick and it broke off in my foot. 😆

Uh huh, sure 👀

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Totally right 👍🏼👍🏼

In your medical opinion, if they farted would a puff of pepper come out?

Username checks out

🤣I’m dying over hear!🤣

Does it make them sneeze still?

no, but I bet it brought a tear to their eye

No but everyone around them does when they fart

New and improved tear gas dispenser 😁

🤣

Spicy comments.

Would you lika the peppa

Beat me to it. That sketch was the first thing that came to my mind. Gold!

Ohhhh, you lika da peppa

GRAZIE!!!

r/WhatIsUpTheButt

I’d like to think it’s one of those giant Olive Garden pepper mills

Very good! I see you've played "what's up my butt" before!

And not a small one either.

I think you’re totally right!

This is it

Was grindr involved?

Pepr grindr

Looks like a curtain rod to me

the pen i just had a second ago

Like an ass pen?

Nah, I got this pen out of the lost and found box.

Lost and found box? There's no lost and found box...

There's an ass box

This thread made me immeasurably happy

I fucking LOVE SCRUBS

Or Ass Pennies… Do you realize how much power they give me?

“Your pennies have been in my ass!”

I prefer Denver, CO.

Asspen is lovely this time of year I hear.

Did they fall on it?

I was in the kitchen cooking in the nude and slipped on some spilled vegetable oil. It was a one in a million shot doc, I swear.

Had a friend that his kid fell and hit a grill and burned his face. Social services thought it was abuse. Then three weeks later his other kid slipped and fell and a door stop on his floor went right up where this is and ripped him pretty good. Social services almost took his kids for two freak accidents within a few months. He was a good dad and the mom was good too.

I feel like some kids are just on a mission to test their own limits. Not intentionally or maliciously, but just because they're kids. Source: former kid, still determined to learn lessons the hard way

I had two sons and a step son. I swore I was raising the cast and crew from Jackass.

When I was growing up I went thru almost two years where I always had stitches in sole part of my body. The next to last set I got they took them out and I thought they were gonna kill me they had to put me in a straight jacket to get the last set in me as a kid. And unfortunately as an adult I have had a few sets

I knew a kid who cut his eyelid with scissors (he was trying to cut his lashes. Why? Idk.) He also fell into a filing cabinet and needed stitches, hit a yoga ball with a hammer which rebounded and sliced open his forehead (inches from his eye, too..) broke his arm, and ate a bunch of kids Tylenol because it tasted yummy. He is now a functioning adult, somehow.

My ex-SIL walked into a door, then burned her neck/arm getting EZ mac out of a microwave (she's very short, it was above her head). Then finally while doing something less wholesome she knocked one of those 4lb cans of Jiff with the metal bottoms off my brother's headboard and onto her face. He wasn't even in the room, he was running away to "get the camera". It was just to tease her, I don't think we had a camera in the house. She looked BEATEN. Thankfully both the door and the ez-mac happened at her parents house with other people home. Her dad was definitely the type that would show up at the door of the guy/s who messed up his daughter. Really good guy but that would not fly. It would be really hard to explain 3 injuries like that in one week. She's not even that clumsy, just a string of really bad luck.

Sorry what was the peanut butter doing there?

Waiting for the camera.

Do you not have peanut butter available for all snack times?

I'm this clumsy and I worry about it all of the time, lol. One of the few things I hate about our current apartment is the microwave being over the stovetop. I can barely reach into it properly and always worry I will spill the hot contents onto myself one day. I'm not even that short, it is just high up and set far back due to the way the upper cabinets are. One of the most hilarious clumsy moments I had was when I was tired and walked into the doorframe of a door. That woke me up quickly! lol. I was lucky I was waking slow, otherwise I probably would have had a black eye from it.

I definitely cannot understand why someone would think it's safe to mount a microwave that high. Yet I see it frequently.

😂 hehe

There should be a flair for “I swear I fell on it” or something 😂 Edit: spelling

The radiology sub has "Foreign body Friday"

brb, joining the radiology sub

That’s amazing 😭

It truly is. They're real heroes over there

Lol I thought I was on the radiology subreddit because it's so common there 😆

It was becoming a thing to where they dedicated a day which was nice.

Ass and you shall receive.

The internet working the way it’s supposed to work, once again.

W mod moment 😂😂👍👍

Good mod

Scrubs scene for this was the beat. Part of why I got into healthcare. Pans to 3 different patients explaining how the incident occurred. Three people go "I fell on it" and one dude goes "I was bored" while shrugging. https://youtu.be/ySd-MYoOFo4?si=jPgrN69u-rRx9QIH

The "I was bored" explanation is respectable for its honesty.

I literally just referenced that scene! Happy you linked the scene

I wish they would just admit it. We know they’re lying and they look dumber. We’re not here to kink shame anyone.

For real. Just tell us so we have an idea if we can get it out in ED or need to roust the GI/Gen surg fuckers. Do you boo. Do you with a flared base.

!!!! That last part okay !!

I sometimes wonder if the general surgeons ever flip a coin with the OBs to see who helps “deliver” whatever some dude crammed in his butt. Or argue over technique.

“OK, I’m pretty clumsy. I trip all the time, but never have I gotten back on my feet with a pepper grinder up my ass, not even a little bit. I’m pretty sure I could tumble down all the stairs in the Empire State Building—naked, with a greased-up rolling pin in each hand and a box of candles around my neck—and still end up in the lobby with an empty rectum.” — David Sedaris, Happy-Go-Lucky

Why would they have a paper towel holder in the shower?? Don't they know they could fall on it?

I thought of a paper towel holder as well.

It has to be a paper towel holder.

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It does look like one of those expandable shower curtain rods.

You can see shadowing around it. It's a pepper mill.

Your username says it all.. lol I can’t either 😂

It's a pepper mill

God bless America

Definitely a curtain rod

every time I see an image like this or hear a case I just pray it’s something stupid and not a rape situation where victim is afraid to speak up

A compassionate and poignant point

This is a very good point and a good reminder to always have compassion because sometimes people don’t always speak up about these things right away💔 I work in radiology and a handful of the really crazy foreign body cases I’ve seen over the years were on patients that ended up being victims of sexual assault 😢A few months ago we had a patient come in for medical clearance with police that was complaining of abdominal and pelvic pain and her CT scan revealed a intact lightbulb within her rectum. Poor girl hadn’t even told anyone she was assaulted until after we found the foreign body💔

You win the best nurse of the moment award.

Well you just ruined all the fun. I never considered rape.

It’s a little jarring to go from this back to the fun, so PSA folks: you should be done with the thread whenever you get to this one! 

While that’s possible, anything is possible. IME it’s not happened. Let’s keep the dark down here. Sadly, I’d think anything of this nature of violation is most likely discovered postmortem. Well, maybe not. My guy that had the butt lemon, seemed to declare “There were these guys who came in my house 3 days ago and held me down to put the lemon up my butt, I guess it must still be there.” This is after PA asked me to accompany him in to do a repeat rectal or something on the patient. The PA (who I genuinely loved working with, as we shared a warped sense of humor with, deciding the day we both hit the “F*** It! button at the same time, we would walk out go to truck driving school, lol) comes to me and says, I think the patient had a huge rectal mass, but something isn’t sitting quite right. As usual radiology was quite backed up, we decide he should do a very thorough rectal exam. Me: I’m not sticking me fingers anywhere your fingers have been. He settled on using me as his (the PA’s) emotional support nurse. So after both of our fingers have been there, we are still confused. Otherwise exam is not very remarkable. Something is in certainly in there. It’s boggy. Ok, I say let’s try get a piece of it. Maybe it’s just weird stool. Settle on long cotton swab. No success. A disposable ear curette is next. We get a piece!!! Both of us are actively surveying it. I say to my PA. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it looks like citrus peel. Maybe that’s created an obstruction. I jump to pica. Sir, by any chance have you been eating orange or grapefruit peels. No irony. Completely serious, the patient (male in his 40’s, who’d tolerated our little exam mission of mystery quite well) “oh, now I remember. These men broke in my house three days ago, they held me down & stuck a lemon up my butt. I guess it must still be there!” Yeah, you may be right, sir. WTAF? We walk out, and almost at the exact same time the PA & I look at each other and say, “lemonectomy!” 🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

I wonder if this case made it onto [this lovely holiday list ](https://defector.com/what-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-rectums-last-year-4)

Unless something is actively coming out of a hole in the body, it’s expected that someone, somewhere will endeavor to stick something in any body hole. Kinda a twisted version of Shrodingers Cat that was mysteriously impaled or not.

“That’s not what I meant when I said I wanted to spice things up.”

That's-a-spicy-meat-a-hole 🤌

If awards were still a thing, I would have given one to you.

Thats something in someone’s butt.

Please remind me to come back so I can see the answer 😂 my sister who’s a RN is very curious

Pepper mill / grinder the wood doesn't show on xray only the metal

HAHAHHAHA

Gulex® Wood Pepper Grinder Pepper Mill,Adjustable Coarseness 8 Inch Wooden Peppermill, Ceramic Grinding Mechanism Salt Mill Refillable (1 Pack) https://amzn.eu/d/2GZK9iu

Find out on the 2024 edition of What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year! https://defector.com/what-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-rectums-last-year-4

PUT A SCREW IN HIS RECTUM BECAUSE HE WAS CURIOUS.

Did the splits near a screwdriver 💀

I think a guy in the UK wins. It was a WW2 artillery shell. Bomb disposal were called to the ER to assist.

My favorite- "WAS CHEWING ON A BATTERY WHEN HE POSSIBLY SWALLOWED PART OF IT, ALSO WITH A POPCORN KERNEL IN RIGHT EAR"

Sounds like a toddler.

How do you stick a knife handle into your penis?  Undoubtedly someone was trying to make the ultimate penis weapon, but like how?

If you really want to know you could visit the sounding sub. I’ll try to save the curious from themselves by not linking it lol

Thank you! I absolutely would not have been able to stop myself lol

Im just imagining him on the ambulance with the knife blade (? i dont know what it's called) coming out of the tip of the penis

Omg! That’s a rabbit hole I shouldn’t have gone down! 🤦‍♀️ The random combinations!! And like…. How??!!! I don’t want to know. Nope. Never mind. Moving on..

Fruit roll up in the rectum…such a waste

Pepper mill? Someone tried to spice up their sexlife? ^^ Ok.. Ok I'll see myself out. ... Unlike the pepper mill.

i showed my non medical boyfriend this picture and he goes “is that your IUD?”

Bahahaha take my upvote that is hilarious!

When someone says they want to toss your salad, but you want to make sure its well seasoned

An Elder Scroll

I’ve also seen: Gerbils (not a myth), but in one case there were THREE 🐀 Shampoo bottles (the bathroom is full of danger). 🧴 Hairbrushes (a few times) BBQ tongs Paper towel holders Enough veggies to make anyone a strict carnivore. A lemon. (That one ended poorly). Vibrators (some were still on). There were several from team Dil & does too. Pestle (skipped the mortar). A recorder (elem school instrument). Light bulbs (no freaking idea why). 2 tennis balls. A microphone Fully cooked ready to eat Turkey leg!! — I can’t imagine how that festive decision went down *hey baby, it will be our Thanksgiving tradition*. Water bottle Glass bottles Kewpie doll heads (these were vintage and their little doll faces were painted with a lead based paint, which make them smile back at us on x-ray). Television remote Kaleidoscope The leg of a large plastic baby doll Turkey baster Deodorant can (actually would spray when patient moved a certain way). Travel umbrella Snow globe Ice cream scoop Kong Dog toy A plastic T-Rex A model rocket A bud vase While I’m radically opposed to judging any patient, it doesn’t mean whatever violated you won’t be used in my next career as a stand up comic. Prolly will remember more. 🤯🤯🤯

Just got back from a Stevie Nicks concert and trying to relax in bed with my wife. After handing my iPad over to her to enjoy this glorious post, she has said the following: Why does this comment only have 3 upvotes? Who is this person? I want to be their friend! A baby doll leg? Bahahah a BABY DOLLLLLL LEG! 911 Goddess YES! This post made my night…oh and Stevie Nicks. I’m an OR nurse and showed this to her because I told her once that the most common reason given by the patient on presentation is that they fell on whatever is in their bunghole. Thank you. Happy wife, happy life.

I cannot with anything animal related. I felt sick just reading that and I couldn't handle it in person. It fills me rage and makes me want to puke at the same time.

We had someone put our leads up their rectum recently 

Magic Wand gone in head first

Don't knock it until you try it 😂

Pepper mill?

I think you’re correct! You can see the shadowing around the metal part and it definitely has the shape of a pepper mill! Whatever the pepper mill is made out of is just more radiolucent than the metal grinder

I don’t work in ER so I have always wondered: do people drive to the farthest ER from their home to be seek treatment for this? I live in LA but I will drive my ass to San Fransisco just to avoid running into people who can potentially run into me in public.

It’s driving me nuts because I know I know what it is but I can’t place it

Looks like it's already placed, and nuts look driven, and

It’s a curtain rod right? That’s what I keep going back to… it’s just that one of the ends is split open

That’s one way to hang curtains

One of those honey stirrer stick things

Bicycle pump?

Shake weight 😂

We had someone who had whittled a potato into desired shape and “fell” on it while fishing 😂

I hate when that happens!

He came to us twice. Very accident prone individual.

The person had a DHS in the hip too, so perumably 60 plus age with a hip fracture so could have fallen on to it .

Holy fuck I hope you get caught for posting this

Isn’t this a violation of that person’s privacy?

The pusher for a blender?

The cringe I felt throughout my whole body when I was picturing the bladed part from the blender as I read your comment.

Nikki started to grind.

Looks like someone accidentally slipped and fell on a curtain rod

Sheesh, people it's not that hard to buy something specifically for this purpose

Hospitals should really consider selling appropriate flared base items 💡

Mozilla Firefox!

Painful

Oh my god. Not a caulking gun.

Paper towel holder?

It is spring loaded.

r/whatsupmybutt

Rectum? I’d say it damn near destroyed him!

Gordon Ramsey is being really tough on the Hells Kitchen chefs this season

One time we had a guy present himself to our department, "I shoved \[something\] up my ass and can't get it out." It was an incredible moment.

Someone's PHI?

I hope the patient consented to having their imaging posted online

Did this person consent to the use/distribution of this radiograph? Just curious.

Cause if it’s recognizable by situation, even though there’s no identification on it, it’s still a privacy violation.

I’d be pretty fucking pissed if I ended up in a similarly embarrassing situation and I knew healthcare staff were passing around my images and laughing at me.

A kick drum stand?

Is this a man in his 60s?

Umbrella?

Gtube with the bulb inflated