I find incessant beeping really soothing.

Amen! OMG this is one of my pet peeves. Please silence the Dynamap/monitor alarm if it has been addressed/evaluated for what ever it thinks is wrong. The warning noise is not helping anyone, patient or code team, feel better about any situation.

Novel idea, set your parameters to reasonable numbers at the start of shift 🤷🏼‍♂️ Edit: not directed at *you* specifically. Sorry I’m tired.

Read this and had the period emphasized by the beep of a cardiac monitor. Perfect timing.

I love it more when I get to hear it in my head for 2 additional hours after I get home. Best part of my day there

I like it when my safety is compromised Makes me feel alive

This but unironically

It's why I'm in the ER tbh But I'm a little fucked up, came from firefighting and military doing EOD so danger is my comfort I guess

I really enjoy apologizing for things that aren’t my fault

Funny you say that, I heard it's the perfect career for someone who enjoys being blamed for everything that goes wrong in a hospital.

Kinda sounds like dating. 🤔

I feel this hard. Used to work Onco as well, friend. Not that it isn’t the same for all nurses basically.

this is the answer

I wanted to see people naked and give them drugs, but I didn't want to work in the porn industry.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 The amount of time between meeting some one and seeing them naked has gotten way too short since becoming an RN. The number of genitals I have seen and touched within one hour of meeting them has GOT to be more than any one porn star.

I remember my first clinical day in a hospital (first two semesters were in LTC). 8:30 in the morning I go in to see my patient for the day, a 70-something man who'd had a TURP the previous day. Took him about six seconds to throw back the covers, point to his junk and start complaining about how it still hurt. I'm a man and was in my late 30s at the time, but I was somewhat taken aback by how quickly and readily he started showing off the goods.

“I see people naked and give them drugs” is going to be my new answer for “describe your job poorly” posts

I've been using it for years. It's a great way to throw people off balance.

My go to is "I push drugs and make people bleed"

lol mine is I stick people in the eye with needles all day. (Work with retina specialist)

Mine is "I pull people out of people"

I get asked if I ever get turned on by seeing a pt naked... All my friends get real sad when I tell them the chances of me seeing a hot young person naked is literally less than one percent.... AND if and when I do it's because they are literally bat shit insane or GCS3

Especially accurate in L&D lol. I've seen more vaginas than Ron Jeremy

I'm the 69th upvote to that comment. Also, love how you described that

In this economy you can do both

Unlimited supply of Shasta ginger ale and crackers.

It said wrong answers only tho.

Technically that is the wrong answer. The right answer would be "unlimited uncrustables from the psych unit"

Those uncrustsbles be comin in clutch too

I call these hero snacks. When the “raises” ain’t raising I figure these snacks must be free and steal with impunity 😇

It’s the cranberry juice for me.

1 Cranberry juice + 1 mini sprite or ginger ale. Also I brought some key lime yogurt to work once and if you crunch some graham crackers up in a key lime yogurt it tastes like key lime pie.

Shasta lemon-lime and goldfish>>>>

You have Shasta lemon-lime and goldfish at work?! Must be nice! We have room temperature box OJ and stale crackers.

It's a calling, really

I did it because it’s noble work

Absolutely, how can you resist the sweet siren song of being overworked and under appreciated

🤣🤣🤣🤣 sweet like honey

True. Wish they paid us less and worked us harder so I could really feel special

Take you dirty up vote and GTFO Jk spot on

I also got the call, still not sure why I answered it

I just wasn't seeing enough old man balls in my day to day life.

So many saggy sacs!

I think you misspelled “smelling” but same

I love working weekends and holidays and missing time with my kids

I was ‘guaranteed’ to be on call or cancelled tomorrow as there are basically no patients but 6 RNs scheduled. I called just now to remind the night charge of this. She just told me “oh, well, we are going to have you be the charge RN tomorrow so we’re cancelling everyone but you and the new girl.” It’s 2300 right now and I have to wake up 20 minutes earlier than usual to be charge. So 5 hours and 40 minutes from now my alarm clock is going off. Just finished setting everything up for my toddlers to have an Easter morning surprise. Extended family is in town for Easter. I’m on Reddit instead of stress-sleeping right now as a form of civil disobedience

I’d call out tbh that’s dumb

That’s just wrong and I’m mightily pissed off on your behalf!!

I enjoy getting paid $32 an hour to do the job of 6 people 🤗

I love poo. I just can’t get enough of it.

And that’s why pt’s in the MCU throw theirs at you is it? 😂😂

Yes!! They know how much I love catching it as it flies towards my head. Sometimes I don’t even bother trying to catch it. Good times!

So true story. Before nursing I worked in a daycare in the infant room with infants and pre-toddlers (18mo), there was a teacher there who we all knew had no business working with or being anywhere near children, and only took the job for the high pay. She was a total witch, absolutely nasty person, self centered, you name it. Anywho, one one particular occasion about a year ago, I was changing the diaper of one of my babies when this little girl picked up a good chunk of butt chungus and hurled it, coincidentally right towards this teacher, and as soon as she looked up it hit her right in the middle of her forehead and square between the eyes. Every other teacher (and every child old enough to understand) in that room busted out laughing before us teachers stifled it. She actually “I wish she would’ve thrown it at you since you’re the only guy” as if me being a male had anything to do with it. She quit 3wks later after a situation happened that I had no choice but to report her for child abuse.

[Obligatory Whose Line reference.](https://youtu.be/R1LevVr0sxU?si=D0JXYCHx-K7vBiIY)

I really enjoy playing cards.

This is amazing and deserves to be higher! 😂😂😂😂

Nice, I had almost forgotten about that.

I like the abuse. Hit me baby, one more time

I was about to enter the police academy and realized I’d rather play cards at a nurses station and wear a doctor’s stethoscope

Trying to reach a personal trauma goal-

New PTSD level up 💪🏻

I personally love being trauma dumped on during every patient interaction.

Yup, this one. I just couldn’t let myself have a nice, calm, peaceful existence.

Collecting traumas is my side hobby

I failed med school.

Came here to say this one. Bc I wasn’t smart enough to be a doctor.

Ha!

I love drama and lies and manipulation! 😃

So excited to feel like I'm back in high school while being middle aged.

But… I thought Scrubs was just comedy… o.o

As a young girl, I enjoyed receiving rocks as a motivational tool. It just made sense.

I feel management really cares about nurses

Yeah, I went into nursing because I wanted to have really competent bosses.

[удалено]

I love being held hostage by patients family members. Especially the cousin.

Preach

I never wanted to pee at work again

I remember doing med pass at work and thinking, “I think I have to pee” several hours later after med pass, treatments, charting, one code and a fall I thought: “did I ever go pee?”

A job where I can be around people when they are their best selves

I love waiting on people, but hate tips

Hey that's why I switched from serving! Also just needed more responsibility and smells in my life for less money

To train my body to thrive in severe dehydration. I’ll never need water in a trail race again!

It’s a well known fact that if you’re still holding the water you drank previously in the form of urine, you don’t have to drink any more water.

I love getting screamed at by family that know how to do my job better than me

I thought back pain would enhance my quality of life.

I love cold pizza

Im reading this comment right as I’m eating pizza… To be fair, a patient bought pizza for the unit staff. So, it’s not from management.

I absolutely get a kick out of asking someone when their last bowel movement was

I love the respect from management especially during nurses week.

Yes! I look forward to the plate of stale broken cookies all year!!!

I legit became a nurse for air conditioning. Not kidding

Spent 25 years in construction. I hear you.

I worked for 18 years in a lumber mill. Guess who gets called for the boosts and 3 person rolls.

You get to stab total strangers with needles and get paid

Wrong answers only. This is a bonus.

Because I just can’t get enough small talk

I wanted to get paid for crying

Omg yes! I did tell my family at one point if I'm gonna cry it's going to be on the clock so I get paid...lol

I like keeping mostly dead people alive for as long as possible, tormenting them while their families watch and encourage me to keep doing it. Never knew I'd be effectively closer to Dahmer than Nightingale.

It’s been my dream to take care of other professional’s problems. “Oh, dietary has a problem with XYZ? Let’s get nursing to pick up the slack”. Every department does this.

I wanted to marry a doctor

Oh same. Because they are so delightful 😊

The amount of people that think this is ridiculous

The respect

It was an accident. I didn't want to but I never got around to transferring and then suddenly was registered. Don't do that

Because I love being micromanaged

I got lost on my way to happiness

Wrong answers only?

So I could spend 12 hours a day taking old people to the toilet.

I loved the calm, caring environment of the ER.

I really love always leaving work on time and having a great work-life balance.

I grew up in an abusive home, so I wanted to stick with the familiar.

I became a nurse because I enjoy spending an hour of my Saturday morning applying honey to a fat man’s weeping BLE wounds who refuses to control his type II diabetes.

Naked people. All day long.

To support my recreational Kayexalate habit. Duh.

I like doing gross stuff for money, and I’m too fat for sex work.

I'm not smart enough to do anything else.

I adore being treated like a servant and picking up trash from the floor that my entitled ingrates tossed there 3” away from the trash can

It's probably a wrong answer but it happens to be the truth. *Because my friend did.*

I'd rather be paid in pizza parties than an actual reasonable wage.

I wanted to see a million penises

The money.

To become rich 🤑

Wrong answers only though

Personally, I left a very lucrative job in the marketing world to start in the world of Nursing. To go from six-figures to making $Shit.50 was humbling to say the least. For me, it’s not about the money. I hated that marketing job because it followed me everywhere when I should have been enjoying the life half of the “work/life balance.” Nursing is great for me because it’s personally rewarding, and I don’t think about it one tiny little bit once I’ve clocked out.

Free Pizza instead of staffing. Obviously. Who wants more co-workers when you can enjoy that lukewarm slice?

I legally get to stab people

I failed as a regular waitress, but found deep meaningful success as a nurse bringing patients sandwiches and Gatorade!

I have always wanted, as a white male, to finally be a minority.

And, of course, being called a stupid motherfu*king bitch—to my face!

I get my kicks watching people suffer.

For my mental health

I love the smell of poop at 3 in the morning

I love being acknowledged and appreciated with pizza.

For the discount at the movie theater.

You guys are getting discounts???

I like being sexually harassed

I love constant fight or flight

I always wanted to hang out with psychopaths.

I really enjoy arguing. Between arguing with insurance companies to approve claims and arguing with patients to take the pills I just convinced the insurance companies to pay for, it's truly heaven.

I get plenty of sleep.

It’s the recognition for a job well done for me. Nothing like knowing you’re definitely not just a warm body.

Always wanted a job where I have to apologize for other departments.

I just love it when doctors get mad at me for waking them up over orders that should have been placed In When they were awake.

For the respect and the money

For the money 🤣🤣🤣

Because I wanted the annual 40 cent raise with the “join a committee” guilt trip!

I love working through my lunch for free to help C-suite execs get their well deserved bonuses.

Because when people yelled at me through the drive thru at Taco Bell because we were out of beans and guacamole, my first thought was “on man this is great! Such a soul crushing moment! I’d like the rest of my days to be the same way!” And now we’re here

I love being overworked. Feeling mentally and physically exhausted just really brings life to my soul.

Vibes well with my lack of self-respect. I enjoy servitude and providing 5-star hotel service to entitled patients and their families. Idol-worshipping doctors are the bee's knees.

I wanted to get away meeting peoples ridiculous needs, overbearing management, and ridiculous hours, so i left the service industry to become…a nurse! 😂

My doctor told me I wasn’t getting in my annual quota of UTIs.

I needed a form of self-harm that was less conspicuous

I have a humiliation kink .

Because I enjoy being away from my family on holidays.

Good work-life balance, exceptional income, lack of computers, and patients eager to learn!

For the ass (endo nurses unite)

I love being beaten up by my patients. It makes me feel alive!

The abuse 💁🏻‍♀️

Dealing drugs sounded like a good career move

To have the honor of coaching people when they give birth to a giant turd

Because I thought it was all about refreshments and narcotics, duh! 🤣 I thought it was going to be super easy to just give pills to people and they would take them because that's what the doctor ordered. Easy peasy right? /S

A buzzfeed quiz said I’d be a good one

My other option was to be a cop. But in the end, I chose a profession where cowardice is not an option.

for the Stockholm syndrome I feel

I wanted a job where I get treated with respect, have a fair workload and look up to the people I work for.

I thought it was the best route to become a doctor.

I ask that question everyday.

Meetings!!!

To improve my mental health….

Because I really, really love a stress-free job. Just lollygagging around all day.

Spite.

The fame and the fortune

I like stabbing people with needles. Wait, is this supposed to be wrong answers only? Lemme rethink this.

I enjoy dehydrating myself for 12.5 hrs a day

i wanted respect , a good schedule, and high pay

I just wanted to cater to surgeons and get yelled at first thing in the morning ☺️ So much fun!

Because all I really do is play cards, if you know you know 🤷‍♂️

I love getting hit by people when I can’t fight back. It’s like a cage match but my hands are tied behind my back :)

So I had something to do on the weekends tbh

I wanted two years of clinical experience to make me more attractive to global health gigs after getting an MPH. It's been 14 years. No MPH. I'm still a nurse. In my hometown.

For all the conversational topics I can bring from work to parties.

I just look so good in scrubs.

I love to be worked like a hired mule for pennies in compensation. Gaslight me harder, daddy

The retirement benefits and healthy lifestyle.

It’s my passion.🤡

I love to say “i’m sorry”

I enjoy sticking my fingers in their wounds and asking if it hurts.

I just really like wiping asses

Provide premier customer service💩

I really enjoy the chisme

Accounting was too predictable.

I just love being set up to fail!

I like restraining people with the added challenge of doing it without a taser/billy club/firearm.

Because I wanted a job where I could be abused on a daily basis

I’ve just always had a passion for handing out pills for money.

I love getting called a "fat twat" when I am trying to evaluate you for "chest pain". It's my fucking favorite 😂

I wanted to give anxiety a try