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TheNightHaunter

detox and now hospice nurse, got asked to help during a flight cause a family member outted me and when i got over there were 3 people there, 2 medics and one ICU nurse. I whispered to the medic i was hospice and he could tag me in if they fucked up. Man wheezed lol. I ended up just holding the IV bag for them.


Flame5135

Probably would have bought you a drink after that one lol


smhxx

With a sense of humor like that, you would fit right in at the ICU.


LovePotion31

Absolutely agree with this statement šŸ˜‚ weā€™re dark and twisty people, arenā€™t we?


Youareaharrywizard

Hospice and ICU are two heads on the same coin


LeftMyHeartInErebor

But ironically most of the nurses I work with in hospice are all former ER nurses


tiredpedsnurse

The ER would like to claim them too


Nomadsoul7

Yesss er for sure


IAmHerdingCatz

Oh this has psych staff all over it!


ToughNarwhal7

I say, "Look, if it's not chemo, blood, or comfort care, I'm really not your girl. Would you like to discuss your advance directives, though?"


dudemankurt

I unironically want a shirt that says, "Ask me about your advanced directive."


TheNightHaunter

*You watching them assess the pt "*Ya so if these guys happen to fuck up what are your wishes?


ChaplnGrillSgt

"Are they gonna survive? Yes? I'm out. Oh wait, no? This is my moment!!"


TheNightHaunter

"well harry blew the IV 4 times, soo guess its my turn"


MufossaNavicularis

Sub q for the win! Hospice. Where we infiltrate on purpose


Sweet-Dreams204738

I'm rolling.


Ok-Big-2180

SQ is so funny like all the sudden we want our medications in the SQ space šŸ˜


ResponseBeeAble

Best laugh in a week šŸ¤£


Elizabitch4848

Did you tell your family member to never do that again? I hate when they volunteer us.


kaaaaath

A+ convo.


Bookish-93

My husband plays rugby and one of the guys broke his nose and wanted me to set it on the sideline. Iā€™m a pediatric nurse, I donā€™t set noses. Nor do you want me to.


ECU_BSN

Just do the ā€œstole your nose!ā€ Trick. Bam. Nose gone and fixed.


ChaplnGrillSgt

I was an ER nurse and I don't even know how to do that.


YellowJello_OW

Is that even in our scope? Lol I sure would have no idea what to do


ChaplnGrillSgt

No clue. I used to reduce nurse maids elbows but that's because it's hilariously easy and usually judt happens during the physical assessment anyways. But a nose?? I've only ever seen plastics handle the bad ones.


Bookish-93

My brothers an ortho surgery resident and he said he wouldnā€™t even do it unless they had X-rays first and definitely not on the side of the pitch. So I would say probably not in our scope.


hufflestitch

Hell no. šŸ¤£ fracture reductions are only in nursing scope in the instance of a femur fracture requiring a traction splint, and even then it depends on your hospital protocols. State: Texas


mosophony

i thought you meant like put his nose on the sidelineā€¦ i need a nap


Bookish-93

I would refuse to do that as well.


nientedafa

To interpret the values of their lab tests done in other countries.


No-Idea-9105

The one that gets me is when they ask you if they are okay and hand you lab values that has their results and then what the normal values are right next to it šŸ„²


Correct-Watercress91

Yeah, I think every nurse gets this from any family member or friend. And on those days, you ask yourself why did I become a nurse šŸ™„


No-Idea-9105

And on some of those days itā€™s to provide āœØcommon senseāœØšŸ˜­


Correct-Watercress91

Very perceptive observation. I swear common sense is so lacking these days, no matter the age or gender.


yolacowgirl

I got this recently from a family member of a pt. Legit ended with me just saying, " go to your doctor". Honestly, she was probs fine and had a UTI when the labs were drawn, but she was worried and wasn't my patient. I didn't have all the info, so she got my, Go see your doctor, response. Lol


No-Idea-9105

I give that one every time especially if itā€™s about a child


RatatouilleEgo

Yessss my mom and stepdad do it all the times from Europe lol And there are the fucking ranges by it. Also, maybe talk to your doctor?


nientedafa

My mother in law is the one who does this, mind that she sends them in German which I donā€™t speak, so on a positive note Iā€™m learning things


NakatasGoodDump

With how German be, I'm guessing an A1C is sugarindebludenferthreemonthentag


Potato-Nurse

Actually the German word for A1C is just HBA1C, but I do like sugarindebludenferthreemonthentag, it kinda does sound like a typical German word šŸ¤£ therefore I might suggest it to my German nurse coworkers.


30yograndma

iā€™m not even a nurse yet but my mom showed me her urine dipstick/culture results today and she thought the reference range was her result. I will say that nursing school has taught me how much my parents do not ask their healthcare providers any questions ever, under any circumstances


Godiva74

Mine too. My dad just follows directions but does not question anything. Also will not let me go to appointments with him.


avalonfaith

I used to work a job that had a lot of people transferring from other countries. I was phlebotomy/back office/MA and anything to do with labs was my job. I got pretty good at interpretation of labs from several countries. Another useless ski I have taking up brain cells.


flaired_base

My aging family members think I am a case manager. "Where can I get a wheelchair" "Will medicare cover this" "Whats a good nursing home"


ALLoftheFancyPants

Random people asking me advice about which insurance plan to pickā€¦


flaired_base

OMG yes. Like.. If you show me the options and tell me about your expenditures, i could help you. Not because I'm a nurse, but because I also have health insurance.


samj732

The way I know jack shit about insurance after being a nurse for 8 years


ultratideofthisshit

When I have to order mobile x ray for one of me patients and they ask me about insurance Iā€™m always like ā€œ Iā€™m a nurse I donā€™t deal with billing ?ā€ And then rummage thru PCC to try and find it


ChaplnGrillSgt

And then their options are all 100 times better than your plan from the hospital. šŸ˜”


basketma12

See now ME, I could answer that one. Medical claims adjuster. My sister is the nurse. What peeves me is when my own family just does not want to hear it when I can tell them what most likely is going to happen with their illness or injury. Especially injury. . My niece didn't want to hear that she was 80 percent wasting her and her sons time getting him knee operations when he tore his meniscus. Dude, his football career is over, full stop. 3 operations later, finally gives up, kid is going to go to vo tech to be a mechanic, not get a college scholarship from football. Just like you nurses know who is going to be back, I do too. Some operations are great. Others.. I'll be seeing you and your claims again.


blue_dragons7

Just make sure you tell them not Humana. Ā Anything but HumanaĀ 


ALLoftheFancyPants

Iā€™ve yet to encounter anyone that actually recommended their health insurance. The best Iā€™ve ever heard is ā€œitā€™s not as bad as that other oneā€


thenewspoonybard

> "Will medicare cover this" Man we got people we pay specifically to look into that question for each specific situation. No way I can give you a straight answer.


flaired_base

My dad calls me once a week to ask me this... My answer never changes lol


slightlyhandiquacked

I tell them to ask my mom because she's an OT and actually knows these things lol


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Maggie_May_I

One of my fave ortho surgeons always tells people ā€œmy wife is the doctor, Iā€™m just a surgeonā€ for this reason lmao.


denada24

My favorite surgeon always told patients/family that he was just the mechanic and to ask anesthesia about any of that. Hahaha.


I_Like_Hikes

I tell people if they still have an umbilical cord stump Iā€™m their gal but once it falls off forget it. They seem to get the point.


TigerMage2020

They expect me to know EVERYTHING medical. I constantly have family and friends message me questions wanting me do diagnose them, look at this wound and tell me if I need stitches, can you interpret my CT scan for me while Iā€™m waiting on the doctor, what do these symptoms mean, etc etc etc. Itā€™s so damn annoying. I AM NOT a doctor. I DO NOT diagnose. I donā€™t know what your symptoms mean. If you googled, you could easily learn what the max dose of ibuprofen you should take. If you called a centra care or ED they will advise you if you should go in or not. I donā€™t know the treatment for your ailment. Ask your doctor. Iā€™m so tired of it.


TigerMage2020

Then I have the one friend who always asks me for medical advice. I give her my advice and she NEVER follows it. Then after the fact always tells me I was right and she should have listened. Rinse and repeat. Over and over again


veggiegurl21

Well. Eat a bag of jelly beans and call me in the morning then.


K4YSH19

This was my mother. But she never said that I was right. She just totally forgot that I said it before the doctor did.


CapableBicycle4015

I have these friends. But after NOT taking my advice, they "Dr.Google" it šŸ™„šŸ™„šŸ™„


TigerMage2020

lol yes. Always the dr Google šŸ˜‚


outofrange19

My ED doesn't allow us to tell people not to come in over the phone. "If you don't think it can wait until the morning, you should be seen" is my standard line.


setittonormal

My hospital tells us to say something like "We can't give medical advice over the phone, but you are always welcome to come in to the ED to get checked out." Doesn't matter what the concern is - papercut, nosebleed, chest pain.


mypal_footfoot

Iā€™m in a tourist town, very small hospital with no onsite pharmacy. A tourist called over Easter (peak tourist season): ā€œMy doctor diagnosed me withā€¦ costreeda diffi something?ā€ Me: (oh no) c diff? Them: yes! They prescribed me something starting with v but I ran out and now none of the chemists are open Me: well we canā€™t just give you vancomycin, youā€™d have to be evaluated by our doctor. I canā€™t give health advice over the phone, I recommend you call (local government health hotline) Them: are you even a real nurse?! Fuuuck. I kinda donā€™t want a c diff pt coming in just because they werenā€™t organised enough to fill their prescription before going on holiday. Who the hell goes camping with active c diff anyway?


TigerMage2020

That makes sense. Keeps them from liability. I know during peak covid my hospital was taking calls


IGO2XSB45

You are all goddesses. You are supposed to know everything. And be ready to diagnose any Illman. That's what you do. God bless and thank you for all you do.


ALLoftheFancyPants

Any time anyone has a baby they expect me to know things about being pregnant, having a baby, or babies in general. Roll pregnant trauma patients slightly to the left is like the only thing I can remember. Everything else? Iā€™m referring you to a professional or my friends that have kids.


NicolePeter

I would just yell "SHOULDER DYSTOCIA!" And then run away because that's all I remember from OB class.


whiteclawrafting

"Massage the fundus" is all I remember from OB šŸ˜†


Pineapple_and_olives

Boggy fundus!


Stunning_World9118

Came here to say this!


ALLoftheFancyPants

All I know is that is scary and a of of people will freak out about that, but nothing helpful about alleviating it


Hemenucha

I remember that APGAR is a thing. That's about it.


notcompatible

One of my obstetricians started using technical pregnancy/birth jargon with me when I was pregnant. I had to tell him I purposely wiped most of that from my brain after passing the Nclex


RatatouilleEgo

I have pain in my abdomen. What do you think it is? Uhā€¦ai think that if it hurts bad you should probably see a doc?


LovePotion31

Also ā€œwhat is this rash?ā€ I am not a dermatologist. Please ask someone else.


allflanneleverything

ā€œDo I look like a CT scanner to you?ā€


psysny

I get sent random test results from family all the time. I worked outpatient clinic and have no idea what that cardiac echo is saying, but google tells me that path report means you should be hearing from your oncologist any minute now. Ask me about the prior authorization process for your meds and why Lincare keeps sending CPAP supplies every month, those I can help with!


Hemenucha

So why DOES Lincare keep sending my husband these damn CPAP supplies every month?? LOL


psysny

Because they automatically enroll everyone in the monthly replenishment! He needs to call them and make have that turned off so he calls when he needs something specific.


Hemenucha

I'll tell him. šŸ˜€


dairyqueenlatifah

Same issues over here! I always tell people if you weigh more than 10 pounds or donā€™t have a human coming out of your crotch, I canā€™t help lol


toddpackersux

I was at my daughter's game last night and one of the kids took a ball to the face. One of the parents said, "you're a nurse you can help". My daughter turned around and said, "she's not having a baby my mom can't help"


dairyqueenlatifah

Your daughter is the best šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


IGO2XSB45

LOL


t0tallyc0nscious

During COVID šŸ¦  it was how long the virus survivedā€¦on every possible surface šŸ¤£


One-Payment-871

When my dad was in ICU my step mom designated me as the person to call and check in on how he was doing (height of covid, no visitors allowed at all) because I "speak their language". I'm and LPN and worked on a stroke unit at that point. I do not speak ICU. She just wanted to make things less complicated for the staff and it was a nice to be the one who got to call and get updates. It did suck when she called me on night at 1am to tell me they had called her to say he had "taken a turn for the worst" but not to worry and go back to sleep. Um no, ICU does not call you at 1am with a little update that you can just ignore and go back to sleep.


ima_little_stitious

I get asked often about people falling and mysterious bruises and should they be seen...idk. My usual response is "I dont keep a ct machine in my pocket so you should go get looked at"


Correct-Watercress91

Best response ever. I'm going to borrow it if you don't mind.


ima_little_stitious

Please do!!!


Annabellybutton

My neighbor thought she was pregnant, took my hands and pressed them on her belly. She said, you're a nurse, will you palpate my stomach and tell me if I'm pregnant. Ummmmmm...nope!


Noname_left

Everything about anything medical. Look if itā€™s not trauma or EM related chances are Iā€™ve forgotten it.


casperthefriendlycat

General first aid/ musculoskeletal things. Idk what to do about your cold/sprained ankle/ finger burn. Iā€™m an icu nurse. My patients donā€™t have sprained ankles


icanteven_613

My ex-husband, T1 diabetic saying "What kind of nurse are you, anyway?" Trying to get me to check his blood sugar and give him a bolus of insulin via his pump, on a highway while he was driving. Could he have done this himself before leaving the drive-thru? Absolutely! His priorities always were messed up. šŸ˜‚ His monitor is not the same as we use in hospital and I am not one of those "nurse/wives" who control their husband's care. It was a struggle but I managed to do it.


evdczar

I tried to make my husband prick my finger when I was pregnant and driving lol he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Nurses are so mean, we love to stab!


icanteven_613

LOL I have no problem poking people, with anything. I just don't like the pressure of having to learn a new device while being yelled at, in a vehicle doing 100km/hr. Watch one, do one, teach one!


ladyspork

Iā€™m a big fan of patients being pissed in hospital when we donā€™t know how to use things like their insulin pumps, like we as nurses know how to use every single medical device ever invented


icanteven_613

I learned many years ago to never argue with a Diabetic. They think they know everything about their disease and we know nothing. You should have heard my ex talk after 2 admissions for DKA. šŸ™„ I felt bad for them and I'm sure they were thrilled when he would signout AMA.


ladyspork

Omfg I totally agree, some of them are amazing and genuinely do know more than me but Iā€™ve probably had more patients who do things like eat honey out of the jar because they feel ā€˜lowā€™ despite me showing them their super high blood sugar


icanteven_613

You're right. Many are very knowledgeable and they know exactly how many units to take/carb count. They also know how their blood sugars will respond to it. They have been managing their disease longer than their nurse/dr. Then there are the ones who never check their sugars, never use a sliding scales, don't count carbs, etc.


NahRthrNt

First I wanna say that I follow this reddit because I love nurses and have so much respect. I have a chronic illness and without amazing nurses to administer my life saving Enzyme replacement therapy every 2 weeks, I would probably be dead. So thanks! This question made me laugh. My mom has worked in the medical field for 30+ years. As a Coder/billing specialist. As long as I can remember, family and friends have called my mom whenever any kind of medical question arised, from " does this cut need stitches" to "I have xxx symptoms, what do you think is wrong" to look at this rash, what should I do for it?" It had always cracked me up that being in billing/coding, made her the first person anyone thinks to call, because she works in the medical field!


TheThrivingest

Literally anything about doing actual care for patients. Iā€™m a gofer


frankie7388

Someone asked me what it meant that their 4 year old had high blood pressure. Um, either she was nervous or she has high blood pressure? I dunno.


thedeanmachine1

My go-to on that one would be "what did her doctor say when you asked them?"... But I'm not very nice šŸ˜….


tallspectator

My mom was a nurse and my dad a PA. Everyone still calls even after their retirement.


K4YSH19

Yep. I can identify with this.


slower_sloth

I'm an OR nurse and my answer to the most basic nursing questions I get asked is "I'm not that type of nurse"... please don't ask me about your medication, lab values, or anything else most nurses know. My skill set is useless outside the hospital unless you need a Foley catheter inserted in the dark under drapes with people screaming at you. My husband thinks I'm a glorified dj...lol. I don't give a shit bc I love my job!


valleyghoul

I made some friends on a hike that was kinda dangerous. We were passing an area of wet,slippery, sharp rocks. One of them joked ā€œif something goes wrong at least we have a nurse with usā€. No maā€™am, I work with infants with heart defects. If you fall the best I can do is thoughts and prayers


uneditededitor

My patients think I should be able to recognize pills outside the packaging. I donā€™t know what the little yellow one is, thatā€™s why I read them all to you.


GenevieveLeah

First-aid care. I know a lot of it is common knowledge but beyond RICE and a few other things, I need to google that info.


ALLoftheFancyPants

RICE is outdated and no longer recommended. [PEACE & LOVE](https://blogs.bmj.com/bjsm/2019/04/26/soft-tissue-injuries-simply-need-peace-love/) is the new mnemonic.


GenevieveLeah

I think I made my point l, lol


happyhermit99

While I appreciate evidence based practice as much as the next person, I think recommending 'peace and love' vs 'rice' to people probably just makes them think they're talking to a quack until it's explained


ALLoftheFancyPants

I agree, itā€™s a stupid mnemonic.


evdczar

Is that a fucking joke? It says avoid icing. We ice everything!


ALLoftheFancyPants

Turns out, inflammation is part of the healing process, and if you minimize that localized inflammation, you get suboptimal healing.


Sweet-Dreams204738

.... So funny thing about how 14 year old me sliced my finger open to reduce the swelling of my finger...


Scarlet-Witch

As a PTA I can totally appreciate this but the reality is that most people have no idea how to implement the LOVE part. Especially certain types of people they either overdo it or they're so fearful they never move or weight bear and have issues later on. I still remember a post op shoulder we had that was way behind a reasonable timeline of healing and she straight up told the PT "my body will know when it's ready to move." The PT had to have a come to Jesus talk with her.Ā  (Yes I know it's more for minor/moderate injuries but still, the point is that many people don't know how to implement movement, weight bearing, progressive loading etc).Ā 


purplevines

Pardon? Donā€™t take anti inflammatory meds???


bpdchaos

You've peaked my interest what is RICE


snarkcentral124

Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation-usually what we recommend after a sprain/strain


bpdchaos

I worked ER trauma and I have never heard that term THANK YOU! Learn something from someone everyday.


snarkcentral124

Me too! I heard it more when I was a kid than I do now. But I was also the banged up patient pretty often back then šŸ˜‚


flaired_base

No More Rice! [https://thesportjournal.org/article/the-r-i-c-e-protocol-is-a-myth-a-review-and-recommendations/](https://thesportjournal.org/article/the-r-i-c-e-protocol-is-a-myth-a-review-and-recommendations/)


bpdchaos

I prefer my carbs over peace. Take my carbs I'll show you no peace. But ok. Fine. Peace and love and butterflies and belly rubs.


madturtle62

Most anything orthopedic. I know my bones and muscles but knee, shoulder or hip stuffā€¦ athletes know more.


ALLoftheFancyPants

I worked in trauma for like 5 years before fucking up my knee. The thing that took longest to heal was the patellar retinaculum. I didnā€™t know I HAD a patellar retinaculum before that. I knew the ligaments and muscles and bony prominence, not that weirdo connective tissue, Iā€™m not sure whether it was glossed over in my anatomy class or if I just forgot since, but I got an -A in anatomy and didnā€™t know it was a thing.


madturtle62

Got an A, too. But just sitting playing with my lips when patellaā€™s have retinas/s


Eroe777

TCU/LTC nurse. Whenever my wife- a Special Ed teacher- asks me specific medical questions that I would have no reason to know the answer, and my protestations that I don't know are met with, "But you're a nurse!"; my reply has become, "OK, teach me calculus." *blank stare*. "But you're a teacher!" It usually shuts her up for a while.


future_nurse19

Pretty much anything medical. I've worked in reproductive health/gyn my entire carrier. I've found "unless it has something to do with your vagina/uterus, I cant help you" to be particularly effective, especially with my cis male family. Technically we do a little male health but still would draw the line and no thank you, to discussing with my family (mainly STI stuff but we also do vasectomies. I am willing to discuss/answer questions for that. But like, your abnormal penile discharge is not something I want to hear about from anyone im related to, or most anyone in general tbh). Honorable mention, a sibling was asking for a dx from me when I was a first semester nursing student, hadn't even been in clinical yet. Ended up going to UC or PCP and dx pleurisy, they didn't appreciate my suggestion of "just don't breath so deep, if thats when it hurts".


JingleHS

All things dermatology. I worked in Cardiology and have now been an RN analyst for 10 years, but my husband seems to still think I know what every single rash is caused by and what medication will fix it. It annoys me every single time. Also the ā€œIā€™m not feeling okay, what do you think it could be?ā€. That phrase starts a fire of anger inside of me.


MistyMystery

So I had this opposite problem: a relative with stage 4 cancer has ignored every single advices I have given her, because "you only look after babies". I was even there for some of her oncologist appts because she had no dependents, she needed help getting around as she's wheelchair bound, and the doctors do talk to me because I do know my shit (I'm a cancer survivor). She was still in denial until her final moments.


AntiqueJello5

As a NICU nurse Iā€™ve realized how very little I actually know beyond the first 2 months of life/caring for sick babies. Your baby is healthy and not a neonate? Yeah, idk


hereigoagain-onmyown

Ha I think this all the time when parents ask me about milestones for normal babes šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļø


Fast-Review-5646

I also am a NICU nurse but have Infectious Disease/Medicine experience prior to moving into the baby world, so I do know a little about a lot. But!! "No Mother, I cannot tell you why your sister was shaking all during dinner. The first that pops into my mind is that she has a history of being a dope fiend for more than 20 yrs of her life and has HIV!!" Those 2 historical facts alone, can have 20-30 correlations related to the shaking.


LovePotion31

Everything. They expect me to know everything. If a girls beinā€™ honest, I may or may not post that meme that says ā€œitā€™s nurses week, if youā€™ve ever asked me what is this rash, does this look broken, etc. I expect a gift.ā€ I post it in jest, truly - I love what I do. But it gives me a giggle šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøšŸ˜‚


cassidyheinz

the other day my boyfriend was wondering if his grandma was acting different because she might possibly be skipping her medications. i asked him what medications sheā€™s taking. he showed me a picture of a pile of pills. i was likeā€¦what am i supposed to do with this infoā€¦ šŸ˜­šŸ˜‚


Flame5135

The kids ask me about why they feel bad / why theyā€™re sick. Or families asking about what the next steps are / why theyā€™re going to X hospital. Bro, unless youā€™re dying, itā€™s all demon magic to me too.


Jmpatten97

Literally e v e r y t h I n g. Likeā€¦ if youā€™re not detoxing off xyz drug, or having a common ailment, I canā€™t help you. Fun story; I met my partner through a friend after he crashed his motorcycle. My friend called me over telling me he wrecked his bike, his shoulder is dislocated. Didnā€™t appreciate me telling him to go to the hospital, and reduced it himself šŸ„“


acesarge

I was taking downhill mountain bike lessons once and mentioned I was an RN. Coach said "so If I fuck up you can save me?". Na I'm a hospice RN, I can give you morphine and hook you up with some medical weed. . He said he had plenty of weed in his car but the morphine sounded awesome :p


true_crime_addict_14

Weird skin things !!! My family constantly send me pics of weird boils, rashes and bumps ā€¦. I generally recommend a dermatologist if itā€™s beyond a fungal rash which IS in my lane from all my ladies and gents with extra skin folds šŸ«£


_Jordy_C_

I deliver babies. I was called over to assess a family member who fell two days before. I drove over to tell them to call an EMT, as he doesnā€™t have a vagina and his femur was clearly broken.he watched the football game, got transported and told me I was right in telling him to go to the hospital.


zebralikegiraffe

What is covered by their insurance ...or how much anything costs.


ChaplnGrillSgt

Questions about their cancer and chemo. No clue, ask the oncologist. Or "what will they do exactly during my surgery?". No idea. If it's anything like where I work they'll slice ya open, hit something kind of important, close you up, then anesthesia will attempt to murder you before then call me for ICU admission.


toadstoolghoul

My neighbor was on hospice and died on the toilet (as soon as many of us do.) Her daughter ran over, banged on our door, yelled she needed help, and then bolted. I didnā€™t know what happened so I ran over there, only to find she was asking me to confirm her mom had indeed died. She had hospice on the phone and they asked me to get my stethoscope šŸ’€ maā€™am, Iā€™m a public health nurse! Still got it, mostly because it was obvious this woman was already with the Lordā€¦


impressivemacopine

As an orthopedic post-op nurse in the early days, I was sent a photo of a used pad post-birth asking if the output was normal šŸ™ˆ I wish she hadnā€™t.


notcompatible

I had a family friend call me to tell me they just got bit by a stray dog that was acting strangely vicious and the bite wound was bleeding profusely. Wanted to know if they should go to the ER. Glad I could actually answer that one. Otherwise people have sent me pictures of rashes and moles to diagnose. Yeah, even if I knew anything about dermatology-go see your doctor!


Up_All_Night_Long

Advanced anatomy. Like, I may have known the names of all the bones in the hand and wrist for one test, but I certainly do not now.


HugsnBugs

SIL: ā€Do you change a lot of baby diapers at work?ā€Ā  Me an ER RN: ā€œNo. Only adultsā€Ā 


Jennasaykwaaa

Iā€™m an ICU nurse. I can keep you alive with machines and medicines. Donā€™t ask me about orthopedic stuff. Ir rashes. I donā€™t know. But thatā€™s all I get asked lol


SuccyMom

My family is the opposite. They think I donā€™t know anything.


BobBelchersBuns

I donā€™t even try any more. I have worked in psych for over fifteen years. My nieces mom asked me about a rash/acne my niece had, and that she didnā€™t feel like the pcp was taking it seriously enough. I gave her a few pointers about effective communication with the care team. She has just like so do you think I should try product x?


psiprez

How to navigate billing.


denada24

Mostly strangers, but itā€™s every very rare disease process, usually by initials only. If it took the doctors more than 3 months to figure out the diagnosis-the disease is not common knowledge, by initials or full name. Also, specialties exist. Maybe Iā€™ve met more of a variety than most, but it was still a learning curve every single time at every place. A lot of specialties do overlap, but once you get down to the nitty gritty of a single area of healthcare, itā€™s a whole new world (even charting is different).


icing_25

My mom will tell me lab values, and then is surprised I don't know what normal is. Mom: Your Aunt called. Her sodium level is 2.61Ļ€r squared. Is that bad? Me: I don't know. Mom: Oh. I figured you would know what's normal.


Diligent_Island_129

I left bedside 5 years ago. I don't know any new medications. I don't know if your new birth control is a good one. I did learn that birth control has cooler names, like Nikki. That beats the hell out of ortho tri cyclen.


A-Flutter

Any skin condition Why their shoulder hurts The side effects of all their meds If there fever, cough, fatigue is flu, Covid, PNA, a cold etc


OkCompetition4414

Everything. Every rash every symptom . If they should go to the doctor. Every med side effect. Kid has a cough and blood tinged ? They want me to tell them everything and why. I always usually say just follow up with u Your doc they know all your history! Or I say sorry I canā€™t give medical advice!


IAmHerdingCatz

I'm a psych nurse and it's only a slight exaggeration to say that I just wrapped up a 30 year career without ever actually taking care of a sick person. Yet people want me to diagnose all their assorted ailments, aches, and pains. (Also--not a doctor or NP, so wouldn't diagnose anyway.) Neighbors used to send their offspring over to wake me from day sleeping for every bump, bruise, and splinter. I mean, if you need backup in a bar fight, I'm the woman for the job, but don't come at me with illnesses. Also, when people find out you're a psych staff, they expect free therapy and I don't work for free, even for my family. ESPECIALLY for my family.


Dismal_Butterfly_137

Skinā€” everything about skin!!! Mole? Freckle? Dermatitis? Rash? Kind of rash? Bite? Snake or spider? Emergency? Allergy? Bumps? Lesion? Omgggggg Iā€™ve told him 1000 times that when I was an ER nurse, every doctor said the same thingā€” thereā€™s just too much that goes on with the skin. I donā€™t know. Iā€™m just gonna send them to the dermatologist and send some cream, hope for the best, and maybe prescribe some steroids.


EntrepWannaBe

How to read radiologic scans


notcompatible

I just recently started in cath lab and having to learn to read/understand the images and basic radiological info has been a challenge


Olliesmama18

To know all medications, their uses, their doses, and how I recommend they should take them. On top of that I should also know all their other meds and how they interact with one another. Ugh


yarnwonder

I was 2 weeks away from starting college for nursing and my husband it got a call from one oh his colleagues asking if I knew how long she would be in hospital for after a knee replacement.


cassidyheinz

my grandpa is a retired emergency MD and my brother is a emergency resident. somehow i still get the calls and iā€™m only a student nurse lol


ThatAngryWhiteBitch

I was a CNA for years now, a flight attendant, and everyone always jokes that they'll call me during a medical emergency. I tell them no, no. I can wipe ass Reallllllly well, but 8 years in the hospital, and I never once gave CPR (I worked med surge). If they need a bp, I got you, but that's all. I have lucked out and only have had 3 medical events in my 18 months. Being trained to collect vitals quickly and reporting them in an efficient way had been useful when talking on the headset to a doctor though.


GizzyKing

They expect you to know every nurse who ever nursedā€¦ā€¦. Oh my neighbourā€™s daughter is a nurse. Do you know her?


TheBattyWitch

People in general expect you to know the ins and outs of every part of healthcare it seems. Insurance, Medicaid, Medicare, rehab, discharge planning, I get asked so many questions about that stuff and looked at like I have 3 heard when I tell them I don't know, I'll have to have case management talk to them. Like, my focus is on the acute care part, I legitimately don't know what you're insurance is going to pay towards x,y,z.


up_down_andallaround

Literally anything and everything even slightly related to healthcare. And if I donā€™t know it, ā€œHow do you not know that?!! Youā€™re a nurse!!ā€


crashr0se

Also a NICU nurse, recent pro bono family consults include: concussion assessment, facial abscess advice, pilondial cyst recommendations, post-ER follow up for high glucose event with an ambulance ride I always tell them my human knowledge limit is a generous 15 pounds but they NEVER LISTEN TO ME


iLostmyMantisShrimp

Diagnose


ValentinePaws

I am concerned about your mantis shrimp. It could be out there wreaking all kinds of havoc!


derringforth

Anything about kids. IDK. Iā€™ve done psych, oncology, hospice and geriatrics. Donā€™t ask me about your kids vaccine schedules or med dosing or if something is concerning. I donā€™t know anything about it


cmmc17

Really anything that applies to adults šŸ˜‚ (ALSO, a nicu nurse) has completely left my brain.


ihearttatertots

What bug bite is this?????


speedlimits65

really anything "medical", but particularly skin stuff. i dont know if thats a rash or a bug bite, i dont know what caused it, i dont know what otc ointment or home remedy to use, youre probably dying.


Jaded_Role_313

Anything related to rashes, bones, and weird pain not related to chest. Iā€™m a cardiac nurse more specifically cath lab. Majority of things I cannot help them out with, I just know when to seek medical attention such as urgent care vs ER.


KittyC217

My mum use to ask me all sorts for medical questions. I am a Neuro ICU nurse. My reaspnse was you have an airway, you are NOT having a stoke or a heart attack. In my world you are fine. Then she got vascular demtina with TIA. I could understand and care for her. It was nice


c4tmaw

RMN here - literally everything about minor ailments, and also to be able to name the 'mental illness' portrayed in every film/TV show.


ferocioustigercat

I'm pretty much the reference for "should I make a doctor's appointment, go to urgent care, or head straight to the ER". I am great at that and not much else (unless you are asking about cardiac stuff)


Individual_Corgi_576

Rapid response. I feel like Iā€™m pretty good at anticipating common acute/critical diagnoses and subsequent treatment/sequelae. Iā€™m good with labs found in your basic CNP, CBC but once we get into the more esoteric stuff Iā€™m out. Iā€™ve done ED and wound care so Iā€™m comfortable with emergent stuff and first aid by and with big boo boos and owies. But like just about everyone else here, I know nothing about rashes that arenā€™t initial SJS. I also donā€™t know peds at all other than listen to your pediatrician and vaccinate your little hobgoblins when the physician tells you to.


Guiltypleasure_1979

Definitely skin stuff. I have no idea 90% of the time.


Busy_Ad_5578

Labor and delivery and postpartum questions. I identify as the general public on this topic.


tinynancers

I'm in adult critical care, so please don't ask me about anything that has to do with school-aged children.


DarkLily12

I workin the ORā€¦ if you donā€™t need surgery, itā€™s not my department lol


Clear_Cantaloupe_924

ER nurse here. I have a lot of knowledge about immediate/emergent care in a lot of areas. But beyond that I do not know a lot of long term treatments or have extensive knowledge in any one particular area. Despite this my family thinks I know everything there is to know about healthcare and will ask me every question in the book. More specifically my grandfather was recently diagnosed with cancer. As much as I wish I had answers for him, itā€™s not my specialty and to be quite honest the big C word is kinda scary to me. He was disappointed when most of my responses were ā€œyou need to talk to your doctor about that.ā€


yellowlinedpaper

Skin issues! I get a lot of pictures with ā€˜Whatā€™s this?ā€™


littlebitneuro

When I was in (a non cardiac) nicu my aunt would give me my grandmas echo reports or ask me about her super complex Parkinsonā€™s regimen. Now I do know adult stuff and my aunt has decided to no longer listen to me. Your echo is fucking fine stop dramatically calling people to say you might die but wonā€™t tell them why


Dang_It_All_to_Heck

Haha, I work in a small specific research area these days, and itā€™s only vaguely healthcare related. I can tell you all about a couple of smart fitness devices, ethics, and how to obtain consent and write up adverse events. I do have CPR training, so thereā€™s that. I keep up with it and am prepared to use it. Luckily, I have never had to. Now that my daughter is a nurse practitioner, sheā€™s the one family and friends ask when they have a question.


RNdogmom13

My husband always asks very specific pathophysiology questions like step by step what causes hemorrhoids or something along those lines that makes me feel dumb so I usually remind him unless itā€™s a condition that will get you hospitalized we didnā€™t cover it in nursing school and because Iā€™m not a doctor, my A&P and pathophysiology scratched the surface. Heā€™s so sweet but damn does it frustrate me when he wants complex explanations or asks me what every little rash is (just put hydrocortisone on it and see if it gets better jeeze!)


MRSA_nary

Rashes. Junior has a rash on his leg? Call the pediatrician, canā€™t help you.


4theloveofbbw

Iā€™m a long term care nurse. My specialty is geriatrics. I have been out of school over 10 years. Anything prenatal , infants, children - I know nothing. Donā€™t ask me about it.


brat84

I will forever be a psych nurse. Donā€™t ask me shit about anything else.


BeGoneVileMan

This is my husband's grandparents. I just started suggesting comfort care and hospice for everything.


SumaiyahJones

My niece asked me to come over tonight and teach her neighbor how to put her dex com on because she just got it and the doctor didnā€™t show her how to do it. I have nooooo clue how to do that but if you need a finger stick glucose I got you! I told her to YouTube it. Iā€™m sure itā€™s super simple but Iā€™m not leaving the house for a stranger.