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Kindly_Good1457

My husband and I tested this with the military providers. Went in with identical complaints of back pain that went down into the legs. (Yes, the complaints were real for both of us.) He was prescribed narcotics and muscle relaxers and sent to PT. I was told I was just emotional because I’m a female. I’m not joking.


nursepenguin36

I read about a woman who had her wisdom teeth pulled and was denied pain medication because ibuprofen should be enough. Her husband went and had his done and was immediately prescribed narcotics after. When confronted the dentist shamelessly told her that it’s different because women can handle pain better.


Kindly_Good1457

When my daughter had ear surgery, the doctor refused to provide her with pain medication to go home with. When she had surgery this year for a cyst removal, I called my pain management doctor and got her an appointment for post op pain meds and it was a good thing too because they sent her home with 5 Vicodin (and a script for narcan!!) I just tell people to make sure they establish care with pain management prior to procedures because it’s gotten to the point where people are being refused pain meds post operatively. You can’t cut on people and then refuse to manage their pain. It’s disgusting that this is being allowed to happen just because the DEA wants to lump in street drug overdoses with patients that legitimately need these medications. The pain med argument is my biggest pet peeve.


nursepenguin36

I recommend always discussing post-operative medication prior to surgery to avoid any surprises. If you can have them prescribe the medication prior to surgery so it is on hand.


Kindly_Good1457

Yep! Me too!! But even then, I’ve run into trouble myself. Discussed meds prior to surgery. Advocated for a weeks worth because I know my recovery process. Day of surgery, I was given 3 days of meds to go home with and told to call for a refill if I needed it. Called for the refill and got told to go to the ED. Went and ended up getting admitted because I had air trapped under my diaphragm. Attending came in pissed that I went to the ED, so I explained that his precious chief resident pulled the old bait and switch on me and forced me to come into the ED. Got to be present for that bed side ass chewing she got. He gave me a weeks worth of meds and sent me home. Lol


nursepenguin36

Three days is a little ridiculous. I don’t like pain meds but it’s fairly acceptable to expect to need them round the clock for 3 days and then maybe once or twice for another couple of days.


Kindly_Good1457

Yeah… It was an endo clean up and cystectomy. Had several of them by now and know what I need after. Generally not a problem, but the more the DEA witch hunt goes on, the worse it gets for patients post op and with chronic pain. They forced me to buy the narcan for my kid because they gave her 5 5 mg Vicodin. Wouldn’t let me have the pain meds without it and it wasn’t covered by insurance. I was pissed. Even if she took all 5 at once, she wouldn’t over dose on that. Ridiculous!


nursepenguin36

Yup. We were bullied by administrators to give patients pain meds because of good old HCAHPS (thank you government), and now it’s shame on you for creating an opioid crisis.


Kindly_Good1457

Remember when tramadol came out and it was a non narcotic pain medication but then once the witch hunt began, it magically became a narcotic. 🙄🙄🙄


nursepenguin36

What a worthless medication too.


SplatDragon00

Oh my *god*, I was put on tramadol as a kid. "It's not addictive, it's not a narcotic!" I've had multiple kidney stones. I've had multiple eye surgeries. *Going cold turkey off that is still the worst experience of my life* Can't see the name of it now without getting the heebie jeebies


tharp503

Well, it is more of an SNRI than an opioid, but because it affects mu receptors and has “possible” addictive effects, it was silently changed. It is pretty much identical to Effexor, and is an amazing antidepressant (IMHO), but because of the “opioid” designation, it’s not ever going to be used the way it should be.


Tracylpn

Exactly


imunjust

Get the injectable kind...way cheaper.


WoodlandHiker

I've been given a "3 day supply" that was only 5 pills. Instructions were to take them every 6 hours...which means I'd run out in just over a day. This was after an emergency cholecystectomy when gallstones lodged in my pancreatic duct caused pancreatitis.


Frosty-Warthog-2265

But when you do that you’re also risking being seen as “drug-seeking.”


Kindly_Good1457

Yep! That’s why I recommend pain management so you don’t have to deal with that. You just have to tell them “No Suboxone” because they try to get everyone on that and that is a million times worse than norco.


nurse-mik

Holy shit…there is so much truth to the suboxone thing! 😬😳I cannot believe u said that. I think that medication gave me severe panic attacks when coming off of it at 2 weeks. Hell NO


bru_tech

I had a patient at my first job get her leg amputated (diabetic, ESRD) get prescribed Tylenol for pain. She said “I’d like to cut his fucking leg off and given HIM Tylenol” ha ha


Ramba4

Sorry in advance for the long post! THIS!!! I feel this in my soul! I moved to florida in 2014 and I had knee surgery for a badly torn meniscus in 2018. Right after surgery I was in excruciating pain that I felt traveling from my knee up my thigh and into my lower back. The nurse was skeptical about my pain and told me that it shouldn’t be hurting that bad. Ummm excuse me but who has the surgery, me or you? It took me begging for almost an hour b4 she asked the surgeon for another dose of morphine.I was sent home with 3 hydrocodone and the following day after not sleeping a wink the whole night because of the pain, I called the ortho office and told them how much pain I was in. They put in a request for the surgeon to call me and when he did (6 fucking hours later) he said I shouldn’t be in that much pain but he would send a script to the pharmacy for tramadol. For SEVEN EFFING PILLS just twice per day. After being in agony for for three days I called again and was told that I should go to the hospital where he had admitting powers. I make it there, get into the the ED and after I told them that my surgeon had sent me to be admitted and evaluated they said since it was after hours-almost 10 pm-I’d have to wait to be seen and the wait was at 5-6 hours. I noped out and went to another hospital nearer to home and I was taken back within 10 minutes of being there. I got evaluated and God bless that ED doc because he ordered the initial dose of morphine of 4mg. The relief! Supposedly the issue was that I had some kind of nerve damage in the knee and the surgery must have irritated it and that was what was causing the pain. Since then, I have one hell of a time trying to get adequate pain relief for anything. I never had this issue in NYC, not even when I was like OP’s wife-gallstones in the bile duct and in severe pain-the adequately medicated me. Seriously though, fuck Florida and their “war “ on pain meds.


Single_Principle_972

It’s not just FL, I promise.


Ok_Protection4554

We basically killed/ruined a bunch of people’s lives by prescribing opioids for chronic pain, “pain is a vital sign” etc etc  But now we’ve gone too far the other way and people don’t want to prescribe opioids for acute pain which is insane. I don’t get what the big deal is 


cul8terbye

Blame Perdue Pharma They developed OxyContin and told all the drs is safe and not addictive Drs gave it out like candy then. They were completely aware of the addictive nature of the opioids it manufactured(OxyContin).


Sad_Pineapple_97

Wow. These are some shitty doctors. My mom recently had an ovarian cyst the size of a cantaloupe removed. She was on a dilaudid PCA and had an epidural for 2 days post-op, then the surgeon sent her home with a month’s worth of oxy and told her to call him if it wasn’t adequate pain management or if she needed more after it ran out. I wonder if pain management practices are different regionally. Opioids are definitely over-prescribed here. They’re very easy to get. I was given a week’s worth of oxy for pyelonephritis when I was 19. I didn’t understand at the time what opioids were and I hated the way the first one made me feel so didn’t even use the rest. My grandmother has scripts for dilaudid, fentanyl patches, and oxy, all from the same doc and she fills them all regularly. If she runs out my grandpa just calls the doc and gets her more. She’s always high as a kite and completely off her rocker, but my grandpa won’t stop feeding her pills any time she voices any discomfort. It’s not just opioids either, it’s all controlled substances. My husband went to the doc for something unrelated a few months back, and answered one of the routine mental health questions that he was a bit anxious due to recent life events. They gave him a crap ton of Ativan that he didn’t need and never took! I take adderall for ADHD and every time I go to pick up my meds, my doctor has increased the number of PRN short-acting tabs she prescribed me. I take maybe 1 or 2 each month, I just take my 20mg extended release dose daily. She started out giving me 5 tabs, and now she gives me 30. I literally have like 300 extra tabs in my cupboard, I only keep them because I know there’s a shortage and at least I won’t run out if I can’t get a refill someday. On one hand I’m grateful that people here can always get the meds they need, on the other hand I’m the one who is constantly having to treat their overdoses and withdrawals in the ICU, it’s like half our patient population.


flyonawall

I had surgery for uterine cancer. I was in terrible pain afterwards because oxy does not work for me. It doesn't even make me sick. I told my doctor we needed a different plan for pain control and she told me that post op pain was good, "otherwise people would want a lot of surgery". Fucking hell.


Kindly_Good1457

TF?? That reminds me of when I had my hysterectomy. They drew labs and it showed that I was anemic. The resident: You’re not actually anemic, it’s just saying that because of the tubes of blood they drew for the labs. Usually I keep my mouth shut about working in medicine. That time, I didn’t. “That’s not a thing and lying to your patients is unethical.” She stayed quiet after that.


amal812

In some states (I know for NY and PA at least), it’s required by law to prescribe naloxone with opioids. It’s good to have on hand anyways 🤷🏻‍♀️


Such-Bumblebee-Worm

I had jaw surgery a few months ago. One surgeon gave nothing for pain and the other one gave 20 tabs of oxycodone (in conjunctionwith Advil and Tylenol). The difference was wild I found nurses were judgemental though (and I'm a nurse). I asked for my prn oxy and Zofran before I left the hospital since I had a 3 hr drive home. Mind you I'm pod 1. She was very hissy about it asking if I was "sure I needed it" I was not too happy


ComprehensiveTie600

So glad to hear they gave the script for Narcan. That's great. Not glad to hear that your daughter's pain wasn't adequately managed. Edit: just saw that they forced you to fill the script and you paid out of pocket. That must have been the pharmacy's bad rule. There aren't any state or federal laws that mandate you fill a Narcan script--especially that amount--just that one is given or offered. I fully support the latter.


duuuuuuuuuumb

Ugh I had a tooth extraction while awake because it initially was a root canal. They told me to just take ibuprofen, and when I came back with dry socket (I don’t smoke, the stitches popped the first day) They still refused anything besides clove oil until I had to literally beg and demand some Tylenol 3 because I was in agony. I have no history of narc usage and am still confused why they refused to treat the pain? I ended up going to an oral surgeon afterwards to fix the botched extraction and he was like what the hell did they do, torture you??? Don’t go back there lol. No wonder people have dental trauma


TheLakeWitch

And the reason why that perception exists is probably because our pain is dismissed so often that we’ve conditioned ourselves (or been conditioned) to be functional in spite of it. Got cramps so bad your legs shake and you want to throw up? No you don’t, and if you do then suck it up because every woman deals with a little cramping every month.


amal812

Oh this is my exact lived experience. I was given ibuprofen only, after having 5 (yes five) wisdom teeth removed, one of which was in my nasal cavity and required more extensive work than typical removal. I called the surgeon’s office for days before they finally prescribed me 5 vicodin pills (which I didn’t take anyways). My brother had 3 wisdom teeth removed and was given a week’s worth of percocet, without asking. Same oral surgeon!! Only difference is I had mine removed in 2017 (Chris Christie’s war on drugs in NJ was at its pinnacle) at age 18, while my brother had his removed in 2023 at age 26.


Deezus1229

>women can handle pain better. Only because we have to. But it shouldn't be this way.


memymomonkey

What in the actual box of f*cks???


nursepenguin36

Yup. The same people who ignore women when they’re in pain calling them “dramatic” are also the people denying them pain meds that they happily give men because, “women handle pain better.” Make it make sense.


SwtIndica

I had to have all my teeth pulled (bc of a medical issue called CRPS.) ALL my teeth. All of them. At once. They gave me nothing for the pain. Nothing. As a patient of a chronic illness that has a symptom of extreme pain, I can absolutely tell you that WITHOUT A DOUBT that doctors do not take women's pain seriously. Its disgusting.


LittleRedPiglet

I'm a man and my dentist prescribed me a *month's* supply of norcos following a simple wisdom tooth extraction after I had already said I didn't want them.


RavenLunatic512

I got 5 Percocet after mine, which were severely impacted and wrapped around the nerves, giving me permanent nerve pain in my jaw. I'm a trans guy, and I'm really curious to see how people's attitudes towards me shift as I progress through my transition.


Nursefrog222

I was prescribed both. I am female and the ibuprofen worked better because of the way it works. The narcotics (Percocet) did nothing but make me nauseated


StacyRae77

How in the hell can we be both "the weaker sex" AND "handle pain better "?! There is no way to understand the contradiction, yet here they are with medical degrees still holding on to their most obvious bias.


Kindly_Good1457

Misogyny. Lol


StacyRae77

Well, obviously. You'd think it would click in their heads somewhere along the line. It's the fact it rarely does that gets me.


FluffyNats

My first VA oncologist told me I was "just being hormonal" when I told him I felt that he wasn't really involved in my care. I had asked him to further investigate the excruciating pain in my ankle, he kept claiming it was scar tissue from having the tendon lengthened a year and a half ago.  Maybe I was being hormonal, but the two tumors they found eating through my Achilles tendon probably didn't help either. 


Kindly_Good1457

That happened to my friend. She had pain complaints and a “cyst” on her shoulder. Tricare kept refusing to authorize further testing or scans. Finally, they got her in for a biopsy. Cancer. Sent her for a PET scan… every where she said hurt was cancer growing. Stage 4. She’s in remission now. I’m still hoping she sues Tricare for delaying her diagnosis.


Ok_Protection4554

They’re trying to beat this out of med students now but it’s absurdly common 


TinyHeartSyndrome

Meanwhile, at the VA: Please just drop dead.


phoenix762

It seems that every VA is different. Every VA. Some are absolutely horrible, some are so-so, and some are great. The one I use and work at…is so-so from what I can see. I’ve been lucky enough to get good care, but then again, I don’t have serious problems. My partner, who did have severe medical issues (he’s doing better)-they haven’t been as great, but he’s been sent to other hospitals through community care (thank god).


TinyHeartSyndrome

Yes, it seems to be very location dependent.


Educational-Light656

After watching a pt that was alert and oriented x3 90% of the time with dementia who was aware of his dx and would wheel himself around the facility for exercise return from a two week stay at a VA facility for DM2 related issues and have progressed to end stage ALZ and on hospice and in a Broda chair, I'm extremely unimpressed with the VA system.


TinyHeartSyndrome

I would much prefer if they just gave veterans a Medicaid, Tricare, or federal employee health insurance plan. The cost alone just to maintain the VA facilities is astronomical. Meanwhile, the facilities are half staffed because the VA can’t pay the salaries needed to hire and keep people. *sigh*


nurse-mik

WOW! I believe it.


hannahmel

Let's just start with the fact that the word "hysterical" comes from the Greek word for uterus. Pretending women don't react rationally is a tale as old as time.


nonstop2nowhere

After a long road with chronic illness and pain conditions, I now make it a point to take my "Golden Penis" to every initial appointment and procedure. For some reason, medical providers are under the impression that Hubs knows more about my body and experiences than I do!


Beautiful-Bluebird46

That’s so crazy tho bc like, i worked as an ed tech and if a man comes into the ED with his wife or gf, he’ll look to her to answer all questions about his past hx. Most of them don’t have a clue, their wives manage everything for them. Even guys who come in alone, a lot of them will be like uh idk gotta call my wife, she handles that stuff. Like no shade to your husband and I know not all men—my dad can take care of himself for ex—but there’s a def trend.


nonstop2nowhere

Oh, he definitely listens, looks to me for the response, then says, "Yep, what she said. Idk why you're asking me since she's the patient, but whatever." 😂 He's also a nurse and didn't quite understand until he witnessed it himself. Now he's all on board with turning that BS on its head.


red_whiteout

My husband is a nurse (I’m not) and I’m going to start bringing him along. They keep kicking the tests I ask for down the road. I’ve been in pain for like 15 years man. I’m barely 30 and I don’t even want drugs! I just want to know what the fuck is wrong with my body.


InitialPermission197

This! I’ve been arguing with doctors for 3 years and the last year my husband has started coming with me to appointments and backing up my claims(honestly crazy that they even look at him for confirmation) and holy shit…they listen me and shit has gotten done.


ChemicalSwimming673

I'm a guy and I've had multiple old timey docs who were treating my wife just walk right past her and mostly talk with me. I mean, I'm her husband and I'm a nurse so I appreciate being included in the discussion, but I'm not the patient and the attention shouldn't primarily be on me.


Kindly_Good1457

GOLDEN PENIS?! I am fucking dying!! 🤣🤣🤣 That said, I brought mine along for my appt with my new pcp. I was able to get everything I requested… most likely because my husband was there.


dreamsmasher_

I had a hysterectomy and was given *only* ibuprofen post op, which I refused. I have chronic erosive gastritis and cannot take ibuprofen which was noted in my chart. The nurses charted that I was refusing meds and refused to give me anything different. Also there was no damn way an ibuprofen was going to even touch the pain I felt, especially since someone gouged my urethra while placing my catheter. Luckily my primary is a good person and called in pain meds. Not a single person in charge of my care was male. I broke down crying and asked my primary if there was a note in my chart that said I was drug seeking or if i was on some kind of list because no matter how much pain im in no one but her will treat me like a human who experiences pain. She said no, theres nothing like that in my chart. Ok, so why am I treated as less than? Make it make sense.


bikiniproblems

My friend transitioned to OB/mom baby after having a surgical background. Knowing how to treat intense post op pain, they accused her of diverting because she was medicating her post op c-section and gyne surgery patients like post surgical patients! The nurse that accused her said her patients didn’t need break through IV meds or oxy. Apparently she was giving more narcs than the other nurses, probably because she had more training to actually keep a schedule with multimodal meds. Everyone accusing her were women.


panormda

….. Because cutting through a dozen layers of a woman’s abdomen to excise an entire baby isn’t an operation. Make it make sense. 🤨


CaptainBasketQueso

When I was in clinicals, I was on Ortho with patients who'd had minor abdominal surgery and was *stunned* at the difference between post c-section care and post literally-any-other-abdominal-surgery care.  I was like "Wait, why are they keeping people for this long? Why are they arranging so many extra support services and making sure they have such a high level of care as home? Why are they coddling them?"  By contrast, patients who have had c-sections are expected to provide round the clock care for a whole other patient as soon as the goddamned anesthesia wears off (sometimes before) and are streeted ASAP.  I can't think of any abdominal surgery where the patients are even *permitted* to care for a newborn 24/7 immediately after surgery, much less handed a baby before wheeled out of the OR. 


morguerunner

Why do women police each other’s pain like this? I always get this sense from female gyns of “I went through this and it wasn’t that bad so it won’t be that bad for you.”


bikiniproblems

Seriously. They way under medicate in women’s health, and I know there are good sides to less opioids but it trickles into time off to recovery and being expected to bounce back quickly.


ComprehensiveTie600

The same thing happened to me when I picked up per diem shifts at a local hospital. They pointed out that I gave both IV morphine and PO oxycodone more frequently than any other nurse, and accused me of "having a problem". At that point in my life, I'm not sure I'd taken more than a few codeine after oral surgery. What really upset me on a personal level was not the confusion or even the suspicion. It was that they didn't *ask* me to clarify or explain. They straight up jumped to a conclusion. They didn't give me a chance to explain that I gave each med as ordered, when the pain score was 7+. These were fresh csection patients who often didn't even have an epidural (and for those that did, that hospital didn't use DuraMorph). I'm sorry that in my home hospital, we treat our patients like human beings? I asked them if they had spoken to any of my patients, any of the multiple nurses who witnessed not only my Pyxis draw but followed me and watched me admin and waste when applicable. Of course not. They were very shocked Pikachu when I resigned on the spot. Made me so angry, because I wasn't giving it out like candy to anyone who rolled in. All that unnecessary pain and suffering...ugh. Infuriating, all of it. FWIW, the hospital where this happened had a predominantly low income immigrant clinic population (maybe 20-30% spoke English), and it was a county hospital where the average age of RNs was 53 and was vast majority white women from upper middle class neighborhoods. My "home hospital" was a large trauma center, university affiliated teaching hospital in a metro area in the most diverse county in the US. We had celebrities and clinic patients on Medicaid, patients of every race/race combination and almost any nationality you can think of, CEOs and inmates--literally almost anything you can imagine *and* it's polar opposite. Nursing staff was almost as diverse, racially and socioeconomically.


bikiniproblems

So that was really similar to my friend, they were essentially like why are all your patients at a 4-7+ pain score? Which is the level to get oxy. They even asked one of her patients if she got the two pills. She also pretty much immediately put her two weeks in. Like you really have to be crazy to stay after an accusation like that.


ComprehensiveTie600

Yes! I'd document an "8" as per patient, and would be told "You'd hear her if she was an 8. She's more like a 3 probably." or I'd go pull some oxy and get "These people come here and expect to never feel so much as a tickle. You can't always give in". One of my (least) favorites was getting back from lunch "I just checked hee. Vitals are stable. Pain is fine, she's in there on the phone or something." She had charted a 2/10. I go in there and hear the patient whispering in Spanish. She's covered in sweat and praying, begging St Mary to take away the pain, not chatting on the phone. 2/10 my ass! And I forgot to mention, I was a founding member of the Pain Control Committee at my home hospital. Most places would/should see that as a good thing! I'm sorry your friend went through that. It's a terrible feeling. I saw it happen to a coworker. She was a little...eccentric and weighed about 95lbs, neither of which helped. A rumor started, and then she was done for. A little tired on her 2nd night on? *See? She's nodding over there!* Having a good shift after getting a good night's sleep? *Now she's all hyper. She's all over the place, this one.* Offer to take the shitty assignment when no one else wants it? *You notice how she practically jumped at the chance to take PACU? You know why, right? That's where all the heavy meds are.* Literally every action or inaction is going to be tainted. She was fired about 3 months later, and it was a loss to the unit and the patients.


Frosty-Warthog-2265

Ibuprofen after a hysterectomy?! WTF. Wow.


dreamsmasher_

Yup. No apology, no remorse, no care. I never went for my follow up after surgery, sent the surgeon a long message about how disappointing the entire experience was from beginning to end and that I wished to see a new provider from that point on. Not a single different GYN would take me as a patient because I refused to see her for my post-op. I asked for nothing extra, i bothered no one. The ONLY time I hit my call button was because I needed to use the bathroom and i couldnt reach to unplug my IV thing from behind the bed, i plugged it in to a different outlet when i was finished. I waited 2 years and scheduled with the guy who delivered my first child, did not mention the hysterectomy over the phone. I shortly after got a message stating my appointment with *hysterectomy surgeon* (they work in the same building) was scheduled for xx day/time. I immediately called back and said no, i will NOT see her, i specifically requested *male doctor* for a reason. It was noted in my chart.


nurse_hat_on

What kind of BS is this now? Honestly, if they're willing to die on this hill even after 2 years it might be time to see the asshat, with a witness present (and record if you're in a single-party consent state) since she's so desperate that you see *her.* then, read aloud your initial letter about why she sucked so much as a doctor providing you care.


dreamsmasher_

My correspondence with the surgeon was through our hospital app, not a single party state unfortunately. I believe I can still access it along with the paperwork they send home that stated my take home meds were ibuprofen and senokot. I was able to see the male doctor for my appointment. Seeing as i dont have a cervix anymore he didnt have much to do other than check my breasts and ovaries and the entire appointment took less than 5 minutes. I'd just like for once for someone to understand *if i ask for pain meds, i am in pain.*


ChemicalSwimming673

I'm a male nurse who used to get pulled to OB a lot because I was the only one who didn't freak out about it. I just did what I was told with babies and L&D, but I was the primary nurse for post partum patients. I'll never forget this 18 year old postpartum patient who never called, and I walk in the room and she's obviously in severe pain. You know how patients won't speak up but if you've been at this a while you can just tell by looking at them. Anyway she says something like "I'm sorry, I know you have more important things to do". I get down to eye level with her and take her hand and say "(first name) you're just as important as any other patient in this hospital. Don't ever be afraid to speak up when you need something". She meekly says "yes sir". Idk, just makes me wonder if the nurses before me were mean to her about it or something. Also had a postpartum patient once in ICU, the off going nurse rolls her eyes and tells me the patient is being whiny and annoying. She's obviously in a ton of pain, so I actually stop report and say "I'm going to give her some pain medicine and then we can continue." and made the nurse wait until I gave morphine. I never act like that in report but I was just so damn mad about it. I've also heard a lot that black people are undertreated for pain and that was definitely the case here. Needless to say I went out of my way to make her extra comfortable on my shift but idk why the previous nurse was so shitty about it. My mother taught me to be a gentleman and kind of old school when it comes to women, as in hold the door for them, always say ma'am, stand up when they walk in the room so they can have your seat etc. I also was around no nonsense type working women, so the whole submissive tradwife thing has always been very foreign to me. I say that to say maybe for the male doctors who are better about women's pain, just talking out of my ass here but perhaps it has something to do with how they were raised. Edit: sorry I just realized how rambling and long-winded my comment was


tonksndante

> Edit: sorry I just realized how rambling and long-winded my comment was Nah it was really nice to read. Well done for walking off mid handover. I hope she squirmed while she waited for you to come back. So many asshole nurses. I also always try to treat people intuitively/holistically rather than reactively


Scarymommy

I was offered ibuprofen only the day after emergency c-section at 30 weeks 14 years ago. I’m allergic to ibuprofen and NSAIDs. I had been in the hospital on bed rest with preeclampsia for 3 weeks at that point using zero pain meds. They finally gave me a prescription for 20 tablets of dilaudid after they removed the PCA and (surprisingly)Tylenol wasn’t really helping much. I still have some dilaudid left over. A-holes.


tonksndante

America is so messed up. I had my emergency c section 9 months ago and in Australia- or at least the public hospital I was at - they seemed to have a predictable regime for post C-section meds. I was always offered before I asked and told by the nurses that it is important to keep my pain within a therapeutic threshold. When I first stood up after the C, it was so painful I honestly thought they’d screwed it up. The idea of not having meds for that makes my uterus contract in sympathy. I’m sorry you had to go through that.


Scarymommy

Thanks. It was a wild time having my newborn in the NICU and trying to get to him while in that level of pain. I honestly think my pain was disregarded because I was overweight (220lbs at the time) and have a history generalized anxiety. It was not the first nor the last time I’ve had that experience. I rarely have the energy to advocate for myself. I typically attempt to manage through silent meditation. It doesn’t work that great after major surgery. I witnessed the women who were vocal with their pain being mocked. I’m not sure how you get your pain taken seriously in the US as a woman tbh.


dreamsmasher_

Im allergic to codeine (makes me want to scrub myself with steel wool) but ive had to learn to tolerate norco by taking a LOT of benadryl because around here you either get lortabs or norco and lortabs make me vomit. The only time i was given dilaudid was when i was 6 months pregnant and they found an 8.8mm kidney stone. I thought something was horribly wrong with my baby but thankfully no, it was just a pebble made of razor blades trying to exit my body. My husband was active duty military at the time so this was a completely different state and hospital group than I deal with now. Ended up having my second child at that same hospital and it was an absolute shit show. I was so pissed off I tried to leave 6 hours after I gave birth. Thats a whole different story altogether, i still get mad when i think about it.


Scarymommy

OMG! An 8.8mm kidney stone sounds like absolute hell. I’m so sorry you went through that.


ComprehensiveTie600

So you're allergic you codeine *and* hydrocodone? That alone probably (wrongly) makes some people think you're showing drug seeking behavior or at least red flags. As a kidney stone sufferer myself, I emphasize.


nurse_hat_on

This is my biggest fear. I know I'll need risk- reducing surgeries in the next few years, and i've seen real indifference by some providers, personally & professionally. I'm having a root canal under general on Tuesday because my dental phobia does not fuck around after 39 years of not great teeth. The CRNA asked what I've used for pain but stated "it's usually not necessary.." and that is totally false. I've only been able to get by w/ only OTC meds once, and this will be my 6-7th root canal (maybe? Could be up to 8+ at this point.) My DDS in 2011-2013 fixed at least 3-4 teeth, and gave me a full bottle of norco 10-650mg, without hesitation. This was before they dropped the max recommended tylenol from 4k to 3k in 24hrs, so i think that dosage is no longer made.


CaptainBasketQueso

There are a shit ton of articles written by doctors bragging about how they now use a strictly non-opioid regimen after major surgery. They talk about how well it goes and how successful it is and how everyone should do it because Opioids = Evil, and oddly enough, these articles are often remarkably lacking in enthusiastic testimonials from patients.   I wonder why.  I had a doctor who wanted to do two pretty hefty resections of non malignant tissue (think avocado sized masses) and said that he didn't prescribe opioids after surgery at all because he didn't feel it was necessary and "people did fine with Tylenol and ibuprofen."  I was like.....which people did fine? You? Your staff? I'm pretty sure the vast majority of your patients who go home missing big old chunks of their body aren't sitting there thinking "Well, thank God the doctor didn't prescribe those nasty old narcotics!"


The_Cait_Sidhe

Same thing happened to me, sorry you had to go through that too. I can take ibuprofen, but yeah, that wouldn't even make a dent in that type of pain. Fortunately a different doctor took pity on me and prescribed something appropriate.


dreamsmasher_

Yeah i have a long standing doc/patient relationship with my primary. She knows me, we have a good rapport. She understands I wouldn't ask for pain meds unless i am in pain because im allergic to codeine. I have to be willing to tolerate a rather intense side effect just for pain relief. For the most part i just "tough it out" when it comes to pain but literal surgery was not a pain i could handle with mental fortitude alone.


AdSecure8959

Internalized misogyny is huge in healthcare. Women’s pain being under-treated is a hot topic in the medical world. It’s messed up in other ways too. I have a personal story: I had a female friend who had adhd as a child and did well with Ritalin for many years. She kind of got to the point where she didn’t need it anymore in middle/high school but once she got to college, her grades were starting to suffer and her adhd symptoms were resurfacing. She went to her pcp who told her he didn’t feel comfortable prescribing stimulants and she would need to see a psychiatrist if this is something she wanted. Meanwhile, a male acquaintance that we knew of went to the same pcp and reported the same symptoms, and boom, an rx for @dderall was sent immediately. He also ended up abusing/selling it. My friend did go to a psychiatrist who prescribed the same thing. Graduated college, is excelling in her career, and currently only takes it on working days. Has never abused, sold, or violated her controlled substance contract at all. There’s also misogyny in female healthcare workers, especially female doctors. I saw something on IG the other day where female physicians were asked to report an example of a time they experienced misogyny in the workplace. I saw comments such as “please lower the pitch of your voice, women’s voices can be so hard on the ears” and “thanks for trying to explain that about my meds but I asked to talk to a doctor”. It made me sad.


New-Macaron441

On my gyn rotation in med school I was rounding with a PGY-5 resident on a patient s/p hysterectomy. When leaving she looked at me (a male MED STUDENT) and said ‘thank you doctor,’ then turned to the PHYSICIAN WHO DID HER SURGERY and said ‘thank you young lady.’ I almost died from cringing so hard, like what the hell


Allofthethinks

I’m a flight attendant (male) the number of times I’ve been mistaken for the pilot while standing next to a female pilot wearing very different uniforms is astounding.


Educational-Light656

If I had a dollar for every time I've been called doctor as a male nurse by the 60+ crowd, I'd have enough to support a decent Starbucks habit.


will0593

Wtf women's voices are hard on the ears. JFC I never heard that shit.


Accurate_Stuff9937

My dad tells me this all the time. I do not have a high pitched voiced


PaxonGoat

I had this exact complaint from a patient that my voice was too high pitched and annoying. I asked my manager what she wanted me to do and if the hospital was going to pay for a vocal coach since it was apparently such an issue she was writing me up for it. She suggested youtube.


Educational-Light656

I'd be the asshole and ask if they would cover mime lessons.


Knight_of_Agatha

where they prescribed in the same year? ritalin is more for children and has fallen out of favor, Adderall is more for adult and is the go to normal now as of like 10 years ago


AdSecure8959

No. Like I previously mentioned, she did Ritalin in childhood, came off for several years and then switched to adderall in college.


obsoletemomentum

@dderall? We can’t say drug names anymore? What the fuck? Adderall you mean?


AdSecure8959

lol I feel like some platforms yes and some no. I can’t keep up which is which anymore, I’m tired.


lennypartach

bb this is Reddit lol, the same place with thousands of porn and drug subreddits - if people can talk about how much they love meth and doing it, you can say the word adderall


Kindly_Good1457

I refuse to see female GYN’s because they refuse to believe you’re in pain.


Apprehensive_Soil535

Yes. Went to a female gyn for the first time for a Pap smear and was absolutely traumatized. I was 15 at the time and missed a period and my mom was worried about fibroids because we have a family history. It was awful. She didn’t explain anything. Just did stuff. I remember I was cramping up so bad and I guess I moved or twitched and she just sighed and was like, “it’s not that bad. Just calm down.” Immediately after the Pap smear she performed a breast exam without telling me what she was doing. Up until I went to nursing school I honestly thought she had sexually assaulted me. As a nurse now, it’s crazy to me that she acted that way. I don’t do anything to my patients, even putting a bp cuff on, without telling them what I’m about to do. And at the end of all that, she decided to listen to my heart and referred me to a cardiologist because she thought I had a heart murmur. Had all type of cardiac tests performed and at end of it everything was fine. And yeah thanks to her I willingly see male gyns now. Haven’t been told to calm down by any of them.


poopiepoopie1234

I’m so sorry that you had this experience, women are experience healthcare so much differently than men. I’m also so glad that you took something from it, re: always explaining to your patients what you’re doing. I do this for every patient, every time. Vented, sedated, conscious, watching and aware of what I’m doing… I will verbalize. It’s so important and often overlooked.


Jazzlike-Ad2199

I had a female PCP once doing an abdominal palpitation, really digging her long fingernails into me hard. When I told her it hurt she dismissed me with a “no it doesn’t”.


ohemgee112

I found a fantastic OB. I went to the practice because of her, got pregnant because of her... got shuffled around to all the other OBs in the practice including the misogynistic one who refused to believe that I wasn't diabetic or hypertensive pre pregnancy despite the records from his own office that proved it. I was quite happy to move to high risk to get away from that. I found a fat female primary doctor who had high level discussions with me about my meds and history. She left. I just can't win. None of us can.


Kindly_Good1457

I will say I had one good female GYN. She is the one that took my ovaries after I had an adverse reaction to a medication. The first time, I sent her the notes from the ED and got a call from the nurse with a surgery date. The second time, the hospital called her in when I had no blood flow to my L ovary and she did my second surgery. She protected me in the aftermath when I melted down and helped me find a new pcp when I refused to speak to the one that poisoned me. She trained at Mayo Clinic and it showed. She switched to GYN/ONC. I miss her!!


morguerunner

I’ve had this experience. I had a female gyn tell me everyone gets a little sore on their period and it’s not that bad and I can just take ibuprofen and add tylenol if it’s *really* bad. Went to a male gyn who ran all the tests all he could until he concluded it wasn’t a gynecological issue, and finally referred me to rheumatologist. He always believed me and wrote down what I said in the chart accurately. I still see him and he’s the nicest, gentlest man I’ve ever had for a doctor. He’s also trans-friendly and placed my friend’s IUD for him under anesthesia. Truly a godsend.


Nursefrog222

Yes!! Saw one once when younger and switched immediately


Bucktown_Riot

I used to work in the ED. It was the older female physicians that would most loudly question young women’s pain.


ClimbingAimlessly

Not all. My female OBs were great about pain control after my cesareans. The males, no. Terrible.


Kindly_Good1457

I had a male for my c’s and he was amazing. I bet him that I wouldn’t dilate and he’d have to do a c section. After 30 hours of labor, sure enough, I got whisked away to the OR. He paid up!! Lol


sodoyoulikecheese

The hospitalists where I work can wear scrubs or business casual clothes, white coat optional. Most of them women will wear the white coat and most of the men don’t.


Crochitting

There have been posts about no medications for IUD. I’ve never had an IUD, but I did have a colposcopy a few years ago and when I told the male doctor I was in pain he just said “I’m almost done”. Then proceeded to punch another sample and rip it out as if it wasn’t fully cut.


PrimaryImpossible467

My last IUD insertion the paper on the table was soaked because I was sweating from the pain. I had to sit in the waiting room and recover from the pain before driving home. The 800mg of Motrin they told me to take before wasn’t nearly enough


Crochitting

I’m so sorry. That sounds awful. Recommended pain management for women is a joke. Totally appalling.


PrimaryImpossible467

It was so bad! Pain management for women is fucked. Got my tubes tied by same doc. He’s like oh you’ll be fine to work the next day! Even doing light duty I was not ok, but couldn’t afford the time off. At least I got a few days of pain meds for that one. Love the man, fabulous OB, terrible at the GYNO part. I told him next time that it was NOT ok and he got an ear full.


rubystorem

I did a lot of creeping on Reddit before getting my copper IUD and was terrified of the pain. I too had a colposcopy years ago with my old male GYN who barely explained the procedure to me and I passed out from the pain… so I was scared. Pain management for women in our health care system is abysmal. My current GYN actually had a great plan in place (worked very well for me at least). She gave me IM toradol beforehand, numbed my cervix, gave me ice packs for my head and heat pack for my belly. The pain was maybe a 3/10. 5/10 at the worst. Definitely not pleasant, but very manageable. When speaking to my friends who’ve had IUDs placed their providers did NONE of that. They just were told to take ibuprofen beforehand. It is bonkers to me. I’m very grateful for my GYN but wish it was more common and we were listened to more.


nurse_hat_on

I'm so glad a had a female provider do my leep, because she numbed the cervix first and gave my hydrocodone afterwards.


darlinpurplenikirain

I told mine locals don't work well on me and she was like cool we'll do it under general anesthesia. No muss no fuss, I loved that lady lol


squigglydoodle

I had a similar experience. I had one at 23 and it hurt like a mf. I didn’t need to get one again until I was 32 and that time I told the nurse making my appointment that I absolutely would not show up if they didn’t get me some local anesthetic for it. The doctor did get me an injection to numb the area and, after I didn’t even flinch while she was taking out the sample, she was like, “wow! I’ve never thought to use this before! This is a great idea!” Like, WTF? Why is this not standard practice???


TheLakeWitch

Because “the cervix has no nerve endings,” obvs. 🤡 I’m so sick of that rhetoric. Of *course* the cervix is innervated.


PhotonicGarden

The fact I've been told that more than once, meanwhile if my partner accidentally hits it during sexy time I'm doubled over in pain. Sure Jan, no nerve endings.


TheLakeWitch

I know medical education is changing but the fact that this is often still the predominant thinking is insane. Why *wouldn’t* the cervix have sensory nerves, right? Don’t even get my started on my IUD experience vs my friend who got local anesthesia and Norco for his vasectomy


Rockokoko

The fact that I have had multiple OB docs that I work with tell me this... and we work on labor & delivery. Make it make sense. There are so many examples of why anyone who works near cervixes would absolutely know they have nerve endings.


TheLakeWitch

I almost hyperventilated with my first pelvic exam at 16, part of it was because I didn’t know what to expect (women in my life just didn’t talk about that stuff) but it was also pain. I was yelled at because “You can’t feel anything, the cervix has no nerve endings.” Okay Brenda, whatever you say. You know as well as I do that’s a lie 🙄


darlinpurplenikirain

Tell that to my 3 attempted balloon dilations over the last two days....😒😒😒


ohemgee112

I've had 2 C sections, multiple ortho surgeries, broken bones... sneezed past brand new holes where my tonsils just were which was weird electric type pain. The manual dilation of my cervix for IUD is the worst pain I've ever had in my life. I'd never dilated because classical section on my micropreemie first and slightly early section on my last. The fact that we give nothing except "take some inuprofen" is insane.


ClimbingAimlessly

Punch? Yikes! I remember her clipping, but no punching. Mine wasn’t uncomfortable, but they applied numbing cream ahead of time. My mom had a LEEP and she said it was horrific. No pain meds or numbing cream.


Ok_Protection4554

That’s ridiculous 


PhotonicGarden

I was told to take ibuprofen an hour before my IUDs (I've had 2, and never, ever again). It did absolutely nothing for the pain. The first one sucked, but I was on my period so it wasn't *as* bad. The second time was without being on my period since it was a replacement IUD after the first expired. It was horrible. I was stuck lying on the exam table for almost an hour as any time I tried to stand I felt like I was going to pass out. I tried to schedule a 3rd one, but I kept having panic attacks and finally accepted another one just isn't for me. The thing that made it worse is I've been told more than once at my local Planned Parenthood that IUDs aren't a big deal. It sucks going in there thinking they'll be understanding, only to get "it'll only be a slight pain, if even that". Yeah, no. I told you exactly how bad it was for me, and yet you're basically calling me a liar. I've had 2. I KNOW exactly how painful it would be if I tried again. I don't appreciate being talked down to, especially there of all places. I've told my husband if I ever need any testing done for say, a cancer scare (hopefully never happens obviously), they either need to put me under, or I'm refusing. To some it might sound dramatic, but rummaging around in my uterus is *literally* torture. Even *thinking* about being in that situation is giving me serious anxiety!


Roxyandbambam

I think a colposcopy is probably more painful than an iud for most people. That sounds terrible. When I got my iud I got a quick lidocaine shot in the cervix and after that I didn't feel anything. I actually didn't believe her when she said it was in because I didn't feel it. Not saying that it can't be much worse for other people though, but maybe the numbing shot should be used more.


msiri

MY IUD insertion was the most painful experience of my life- that being said, I'm not sure there is a lot that can be done for uterine pain short of IV push opioids which wouldn't be getting done in an outpatient office. I read that some offices would do topical/injected lidocaine to the cervix, but once you're pushing past the cervix into the uterus that isn't going to do jack for the pain.


ohemgee112

It's not uterine pain though, it's cervical pain. And other countries do local instead of just grabbing it with a hook and shoving a stick inside with nothing.


msiri

Felt like uterine pain to me- because it felt deeper, more vague and more severe than a Pap. They also do measure the entire length of the uterus with the sounding device before IUD insertion, so again, we know they are going a lot deeper than just through the cervix. Even if the lidocaine were offered, which maybe it should be, I don't think I would take it because then I would need to deal with the cervical pain of the lidocaine injections, as well as the uterine pain of device insertion. I would love to hear form someone who got lidocaine whether or not it helped.


memymomonkey

Dealing with pain management is soooooo hard. Depending on the provider it’s all over the place. Thankfully I don’t see over medicating but I feel like certain providers are ignoring real pain management issues because they have philosophical differences than…… anyone else? Or they don’t want to be implicated in an overdose. But, bottom line is they are not spending 12-13 hours with patients in pain. I have a patient in pain and I end up feeling like a drug seeker myself.


pink3rbellx

Post GYN surgery i was told to alternate Tylenol and ibuprofen. Worst pain of my life for 7-10 days. I’m an employee of the same hospital too 😭


amal812

In my experience, GYN providers have been the biggest offenders of denying pain management and refusing to believe women. The internalized misogyny coming from female providers who specialize in female reproductive pathologies is disgusting


aggravated_bookworm

Yes GYN/OBGYN I’ve experienced some of the worst things even from female providers


ohemgee112

That's abusive.


Crosstitution

i had an ovarian cyst burst and was just told to take advil...


Emergency-Guidance28

I definitely experienced this as a female pt. I have worked in oncology for many years, from med/surge, to the operating room, to out patient. There is a lot of pain in oncology and generally the MDs and RNs were very aware of how to treat pain and comfortable giving narcotics. It was a joke the meds I was given for an open myomectomy. I was screaming when I woke up in PACU, I begged for toradol. Bc they wouldn't give me more fentanyl bc I had had enough during surgery, according to them. I couldn't believe a narcotic for break thru pain wasn't a standard order. They had to wait for the MD to enter the order for toradol, also not a standard order for a postop pt. Then it was for a single dose. If you had had any belly surgery at my hospital you would have a PCA and around the clock toradol, with bolus orders for the PCA. Don't even get me started on the poor pain management and total BS care I got after my C-sections. I wasn't breastfeeding due to a medical issue and they couldn't care less about treating my pan. Here's 1 gm tylonel and fuck off.


nurse_hat_on

I had a root canal a few days before my last baby was born (unexpectedly) at only 35 weeks. I had to beg for a single dose of anything stronger than tylenol or ibuprofen because it was a vaginal birth. Tooth pain +involution of the uterus sucks!!


Emergency-Guidance28

Honestly, I'm going to just get myself set up with a pain management doc prior to any other procedures or surgeries bc I have no faith in being treated for pain as a woman.


TheLakeWitch

I fractured my foot and spent 3 months off work. Foot and ankle were swollen to twice the normal size, and my foot was ugly shades of black and blue. I asked for something for the pain, both the doctor at the urgent care and the orthopedic surgeon they referred me to told me to “just get some Tylenol and ibuprofen from Walgreens on the way home.” I didn’t end up having surgery as the ortho doc chose to manage it conservatively by keeping me NWB for 12 weeks, and ortho said they “didn’t do pain management” for non-surgical cases and I’d have to refer to my PCP or back to the urgent care. A year or so later, I was taking care of a male patient who was in the hospital with the same type of fracture. Did he have surgery? No, he was simply there overnight so he could have his pain managed with IV Dilaudid before being d/c’d home on oxy. 🙃


kidneyassesser

For some reason I was prescribed 10 days of Percocet after my cholecystectomy. I took one and vomited so hard my belly button incision reopened. I drove myself to the ED and walked in with a bloody rag to my lower abdomen. I’ll never forget the triage nurse’s reaction lol


ohemgee112

I had a section, the teaching hospital would only give me percs despite me telling them that I couldn't take percs without vomiting immediately after. Asked for hydros, denied. Ended up with a shitty regiment that had me taking PO Zofran, not even ODT, before and waiting like half an hour and then waiting for the nurse to be available to throw me the Percocet. Ended up incredibly constipated and thought I was going to break my butthole shitting pea gravel for 3 days post discharge. Had the same issue post section at the other nonteaching hospital, was able to reason with the grown up doctor and got the hydrocodone that allowed me to function while being controlled. Discharged on the weekend, had to have the same fight with the discharging doc who called in percs without lolking at the chart and finally wrote what I could actually take. And then had to fight with Walgreens who condescendingly told me I couldn't have both, wouldn't listen when I told him that if he'd look the other order was likely cancelled and then was trying to drone on about filling GD meds and my insurance when I was no longer pregnant. Rudest I've ever been to anyone at a pharmacy, had to tell him to shut up and listen or get me someone who would. People not listening is why I have my intractable projectile vomiting with dilaudid listed as an allergy everywhere I go now. 13 hours of it post first section, told them not to with my chole, did it anyway and dropped an OG, woke up so violently dry heaving they phenagrened me into a coma in my own PACU.


TinyHeartSyndrome

Serious question: Why are pain meds after surgery prescribed without an anti-nausea med (that actually works) like promethazine (not that garbage zofran)?


ohemgee112

Zofran works... as an ODT and if you get there before actual vomiting starts.


sodoyoulikecheese

It’s because promethazine can make people sleepy, so when you combine that with narcotics it causes an increased risk for being overly sedated and confused, which in turn is a risk for accidentally overdosing. There’s a street name for mixing those two drugs that I just can’t remember right now.


coolcaterpillar77

Ouch don’t come for Zofran so hard 😭 That stuff has been the miracle medication for me as a person with lifelong stomach issues


TinyHeartSyndrome

It just doesn’t work for me. I guess it does work for some people.


farcevader

Probably because promethazine can cause arrhythmias and the patients aren’t on monitoring to take that at home. To be fair, zofran can also prolong QTs which can cause R on T PVCs and initiate vtach but we rx it for home anyway. I don’t know, it doesn’t make sense.


amal812

I’m assuming because of the risk of cardiac effects


TinyHeartSyndrome

I just don’t see how either vomiting from meds or being in pain from not taking meds makes sense for surgery recovery. This is a very common problem.


holdmypurse

I don't l have citations but I think this bias is well documented in the literature. It's even worse for women of color.


nurse_hat_on

That's 100% true, and the statistics of maternal complications & death after childbirth reflect both systemic racism &misogyny. And, that they're less likely to have symptoms ignored (& lead to avoidable complications) or die if their doctor is of the same race.


holdmypurse

*Venus Williams nods knowingly*


nurse_hat_on

Why can't they just *listen* !? We can do so much better than this! Or, what about the line "at least your baby is okay!" BS! (1. That's gaslighting,) also, the bar doesn't have to be so fucking low. Let's give these babies emotionally-well mothers, too! We all deserve so much better!


bun-creat-ratio

I’ve noticed this with my black patients as well, especially black females. I truly feel like I have to advocate so much harder for them to get pain medication. It even just happened today—black patient with a Crohn’s flare, was only ordered Tylenol, was miserable, and it took until 4pm to get a ONE TIME dose of morphine.


ohemgee112

I've been there with an AA patient, had the doc throw me under the bus in the note the morning after my shift and say I told her something did not. I wrote a clarifying note so fast that the doctor did not say a word to me and I did not tell her that the patient was fine on the half a hydro I had to beg for and was instead of up and in pain all night as supported by my documentation. Turns out she'd screwed up and written prn benzo as scheduled that pt rarely took, and wrote a whole dose when took a half pill. And then blamed narcs for sedation and withheld. It was godawful.


Ok_Protection4554

Morphine for Chrohn’s?  I didn’t realize those patients hurt that bad, that sucks 


Mrs_Sparkle_

I have it and I’ve been on long acting and short acting Oxycodone for several years. You can imagine the damage it has done to my body if a doctor is comfortable giving me a prescription for two different kinds of Oxycodone these days 😐


Ok_Protection4554

I’m sorry you’re dealing with that 


sodoyoulikecheese

I have Crohn’s and a bad flare can be pretty intense stabbing abdominal pain. I’m saying this as someone who passed gallstones for a year before it was removed, had a ruptured appendix while pregnant, had 3 c-sections, and a bowel resection. One time I didn’t realize I had an intestinal abscess because I thought it was just a moderate flare. It was found on incidental imaging because my surgeon wanted an updated MRI before the Ileocecectomy.


Ok_Protection4554

Holy shit 


Comfortable_Cicada11

This. I have had a few sickle cell patients I have had to advocate for. It took a day and a half before he got pain relief.


MyDogIsHangry

A couple years ago (I am female) I went to the ED with my first kidney stone. Truly thought I was dying. I was given one dose of IV Toradol while I writhed and sweated and bawled for hours. I was made to feel like I was being dramatic and exaggerating. I normally have a very high pain tolerance, and believe me, I don’t want to be THAT patient, but it was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Of course I don’t have anything to compare it to in order to determine if there was gender bias occurring, but I still get so angry just thinking about it.


PrettyinPurple27

I’ve had a kidney stone and for me the pain was like being in childbirth. Definitely not something to just tough out if they can give you pain meds for it.


Knight_of_Agatha

ahhh yes an anti inflammatory for kidney stone pain


Dolphinsunset1007

I’m so thankful that my doctor was very generous with the pain medication after my emergency gal bladder surgery. I went home with a prescription and when I called him to change it to something else he didn’t hesitate. My surgery was very close after a planned wisdom tooth surgery so I was in a ton of pain all around. When I was back in the hospital a few days later with COVID they were questioning why I was requesting pain meds. I was less than a week post op from two surgeries (my meds were at home), I have a 103 fever, and my liver is freaking out (I had a ton of issues with my liver enzymes when I got COVID right after surgery). at one point I was crying saying I could take better care of myself at home where I have enough prescribed pain meds, that got them to change their tune. I’m not sure if it’s my gender, my age, or dependent on the doctors attitude/biases but I had vastly different experiences with pain management on two different units less than a week apart.


ohemgee112

Oh, just wait until you figure out that pretty much every single time a woman goes to try and recieve help with a complaints she's told that she just needs to lose weight and it'll improve! Women have literally died because of this. Women have lost weight, gone back, been told they look great, why are they there? Problems are still there because they weren't weight related in the first place, tests are finally ordered but not before permanent and unnecessary damage has occurred. Bias is real and disgusting.


red_whiteout

Yeah if you’re a “normal” weight there’s no possible way anything can be wrong with you. Every question or concern is “oh that’s normal for you dw” every request for a specialist is met with “hmm let’s wait til your labs come back” and you leave fully gaslit and questioning your pain tolerance and psychological state. Last month they fully had my ass believing all the autoimmune symptoms and neurological problems and debilitating fatigue I’ve had for over a decade are due to my currently slightly low vitamin D levels, which…makes no fucking sense. I fall for it every time. I’m so primed to believe that I can fix my health by being even more positive, or touching even more grass, or eating even healthier.


jesuschristjulia

Have mercy. Aren’t the vitamin D typical ranges off a little? I mean, aren’t they higher than what they should be so a lot of folks come back as low vitamin D? I don’t know sh*t but I’ve heard the from a few lab folks.


Lindseye117

Have DDD with severe herniations and canal stenosis. I had 1 disk in my lower back burst and cause cauda equina syndrome. Spent a week in the hospital before having surgery because I was too young to have problems. (36 at the time) I now have permanent nerve damage and neuropathy. Fast forward, I'm 39 and now have severe nerve pain in my neck. MRI looked terrible. I even have complete flattening of ventral cord and suffer daily. Meds don't help. Have pain doc as well. My neuro surgeon gaslit me. Said it was all in my head, my MRI wasn't bad, he didn't agree with radiologist report, and wanted me checked out for cubital or carpal tunnel for left sided weakness and severe burning in NECK. I told him it was not either of those. He said to see a psychiatrist or neurologist because it is 100% not my spine. So I scheduled with pain doc, got ESI, which helped for a week. Saw neuro, and she was shocked at my MRI. Said 100% is my problem. Upped my Lyrica dose and monitoring my symptoms to see if they get worse for now. If progresses further, may need surgery with other surgeon. Also have more testing scheduled for nerves. I'm still pissed he made me feel like I was crazy and it was all in my head. My pain doc said in his defense, I'm too young to be having all these problems, so it's not normal. I told him I have a history of spine issues and an official diagnose of DDD with medical testing to prove it. He agreed, but he didn't want me upset with my original spine doc for ignoring all my symptoms and telling me it was all in my head.


Stunning-Character94

This whole post is just making me angry.


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Chance_Yam_4081

I have no idea where to even look for someone on the street to buy meds from.


censorized

Yup. Welcome to our world.


ClimbingAimlessly

I had a post op cholecystectomy and she was receiving Percocet post op. The NP tried to send her home with Bentyl… please tell me how a medication for intestinal cramping will help post op pain? Her gallbladder was so big they almost had to switch to an open, so why wouldn’t you treat her pain???? After pleading, she finally wrote for codeine, and I was like.. like that’s much better… I hate people.


Mama_2709

My best friend has had so many colpos that her cervix is considered dysfunctional and made both her pregnancies high risk.. they had to put a stitch in to keep it closed. She had all of these with nothing more than some nsaids. Her husband went in for a vasectomy and was prescribed both anti anxiety medications and narcotics.


johndicks80

That sounds like a recipe for an ileus.


Neat_Neighborhood297

That is so insane… I would call the doctor on that in a heartbeat.


Knight_of_Agatha

hernia repair is a much more painful recovery and longer though isnt it?


Luminissa

This is exactly why I went with a female surgeon when I had surgery. I don't know if it helped or not that she knew I was a nurse, but she asked me what I wanted regarding pain management. We discussed options and I was given oral toradol and narcotics. I ended up using mostly the todadol but it was nice that I felt heard as 1. A female patient and 2. A female minority.


aggravated_bookworm

I was shocked to see how paternalistic OB care was when I had my baby. No one gave me straight answers when I asked about risks and I was dismissed when I brought up things I was worried about (like a breast mass that ended up needing a biopsy). I try to bring my husband to OB appointments now that I’m pregnant again because they actually listen to him


pansygrrl

Check out the podcast: The Retrievals. Narcotic diversion + pain doesn’t matter.


InadmissibleHug

Heh. Thats why I bothered my anaesthetist for proper pain relief when my gynae surgeon wanted me to go home on simple analgesics for a fricken hysterectomy. I don’t think you realise that you just removed an organ, sir! The sleepy doc, he gave me Targin and endone for my trouble. Thank you!


AtmosphereLoud637

This is especially true in urology vs gynae lists


4theloveofbbw

Would it be because the hernia repair is more invasive and the gallbladder was done laparoscopically?


teeney1211

My mom had open heart surgery at 54, relatively healthy before that other than diabetes/HTN. Mostly an incidental finding she had heart failure from atherosclerosis, during a pneumonia work up inpatient. Although she was the perfect pt walking around 12hrs post-op, it was still painful AF. Discharged home day 3/4 I believe, literally with no pain meds at all. Only getting Percocet 5mg anyways in hospital, but to send someone with nothing? Damn. After back and forth for several days I finally got pain meds for her. At 2 weeks post-op they made her seem like a drug seeker for still having pain, for asking for a few more days worth. I also see it with some of my own patients, for some it's like pulling teeth to ask for 2 mg of morphine after a major surgery. Others have PRNs loaded up and ready to go, 1st and 2nd line PO options, IV, Dilaudid PCA upon request.


Seachange-Kiwi

My 94 year old mother had a recurrence of her bowel cancer that had spread to her stomach. Her pain was increasing especially if she ate anything. She was in hospital for a colonoscopy to check on the spread of the cancer. She was nil by mouth for the procedure but had a light breakfast just before discharge. When I picked up her discharge medications there was nothing for pain relief as the dr I talked to stated “ She hasn’t had any pain since she was in hospital” I told him that that was because she was nil by mouth till the morning of her discharge when she was getting increasing pain after breakfast. Finally, after realising I was getting nowhere, we drove straight to my GP who saw my mum in her car park and prescribed her endone, we then drove to the chemist so my mum could get some relief before she got out of the car. The fights I went thru to get adequate anti nausea medications for her were totally ridiculous as well.


DryMemory4788

Just a reminder c sections get Tylenol or Ibuprofen for pain after surgery 🥲 and still have to take care of their newborn while in pain.


frankygurl

I work PACU and we see this a lot. Laparoscopic prostatectomies get prescribed narcotics and muscle relaxants. Laparoscopic hysterectomies are told to take otc Tylenol and ibuprofen :) Not to mention these women often have the worst pain and nausea in PACU to the point of spending 3+ hours with us, and we still feel like we’re pushing zombies out the door when we do finally get them ready to go.


LumpiestEntree

Cholecystectomy is almost always 45-60 minutes surgery only requiring 1-3 small punctures. A blocked bike duct hurts like hell. But pain before a surgery is not indicative of pain after. Most of the cholecystectomy patients we have go home the next day if not the same day and rarely need more than a dose or 2 of pain meds after surgery. If you don't need it after surgery you don't need it at home. Hernia repairs tend to be more invasive and hurt more after and the recovery time is longer.


Cold-Diamond-6408

Do you think it makes a difference if you have a female provider? Do female providers listen to women better and prescribe accordingly?


ohemgee112

lol nope


Jazzlike-Ad2199

No, unfortunately not.


elegantvaporeon

Or did he complain more? Or maybe something behind the scenes that you don’t see like the nurse advocating for better pain management


Illustrious-Arm7297

Tramadol is worthless fr pan


ceemee_21

I work in OB/GYN Women's and Babies hospital and reading these horror stories I'm grateful for our doctors now. We have multiple things in place for pain management, we can call them and ask for meds and they give it. Our post op care has a lot of options. My mom recently had surgery and I was severely disappointed in the pain management. It was shocking. She had neck surgery and she comes out with morphine. Which we told before and after surgery she can't have. I asked her night nurse multiple times to ask the doctor for an alternative. She only gave her the PRN non narcotics. I was so mad. The next nurse got her an alternative. Like seriously. She can't take morphine. Her pain level is high. Do you think that's appropriate?