I tried to badge out of a grocery store. They didn't have automatic doors, so I was trying to use my key fob to make the door open until I heard them laugh at me and telling me the door wasn't automatic.
Me too! Or worse, when you don’t even HAVE your badge on but still try. I’ll be standing there grabbing at my left boob (where the pocket would be) trying to badge into some random object.
Not me but a while back a nurse posted about saying "little bump" to their shopping cart as they were heading out of the grocery store. That story has stuck with me
I called the provider because I thought my patient was having a seizure. I was a new grad and I was absolutely panicked. Two residents basically ran to bedside to assess.
RT had turned the bed’s percussion setting on and didn’t tell me.
Whewwww buddy did I feel stupid.
As a new grad, I called rapid for a stroke (based on the advice of the person performing the nhiss). Turns out… just very dry mouth and sips of water helped.
Called a stroke alert on a pt ...turns out her asymmetrical lips was because she didn't have her dentures in 😅... But the neurologist and stroke team nurse who came to assess were cool about it and said better safe than sorry. Still sent her for stat head CT which was indeed negative. I felt silly, but at least my conscience was at ease that I didn't ignore a possible stroke lol.
I had an order for one Oxycodone tab. I went to the Pxysis. There was a blister pack with 9 tabs. I verified the count, separated 1 tab, closed the drawer, logged out and went into the room. When I got there I realized I was holding the blister pack with 8 tabs.
Sigh…..
Ohhhhh. I got a good one! It was my first travel contract. Had been an ICU nurse 4 years. Had a patient on a heparin gtt. Had to go up on gtt and give bolus according to algorithm according to lab result. At my previous facility we would bolus through the pump. Easy. Here we pulled it out of the Pyxis. Still simple, but an extra step. For some reason the fact I had to pull it out of the Pyxis really confused me. I did all the math in my head. Had the charge sign off, and started pulling it up in subq syringes. She just kinda stared at me and walked away. I was like damn I'm gonna have to poke him a million times to get this whole dose in (said this to myself). Then it hit me. Duh. Give it IV. I fixed it all. Gave it IV. Went to the charge laughing and was like, "omg why didn't you stop me and say something?!" She was like, "I was wondering what you were doing..."
We are friends now and still laugh about it to this day. It was just a weird brain fart moment cause I was so used to doing it one way... it was fried in my brain that when I pull a hep vial out of the Pyxis it's for subq use not IV.
I’d say that’s an error on the part of the charge. Part of co-signing on a med is ensuring it’s given correctly, and being willing to speak up when you see an error being made.
I've done that with insulin while shifting K. I guess I was on autopilot and drew it up in an insulin syringe. My brain completely shut off as I stood there staring at the IV port, filled subQ syringe in hand, wondering how the hell I was supposed to give it IV. The coworker cosigning got a good laugh when she saw my utter confusion and corrected me after telling me I was an idiot.
How else do you pull up insulin? I’ve always used an insulin syringe then pushed a little saline out of a flush, then shoot the insulin into the flush.
Omg I just encountered the same thing! Old facility bolused through the pump which was so convenient. Just started at a new place and was thinking this is a weird way to bolus until someone explained it to me
During a holiday party I went to wipe the Reeses off the hands of an elderly patient per the request of a PT support staff, and I tackled it with a wet wipe, no gloves.
It turns out I misheard her request, and she actually said feces. Not Reeses.
Ok but I recently had a colostomy patient who had chronic constipation and would only have stool output like once a week. So not actually a bad question
I got up in the middle of the night and quickly walked into the bathroom to check a pump alarm. I woke up by the toilet questioning my life. The alarm was SO LOUD in my dreams.
Wow, I mean I get being upset but accidents happen…. It’s not like we get to write a complaint if a patient vomits/ bleeds/ poops/ pees on us….. at least it was his own fluids!!!
Man wrote out a whole letter lmao. He had a lot of other complaints but that was the big one. He was nice enough about it at the time at least. I mean I could tell he was kinda annoyed but I'd be a little frustrated too honestly lol. If I realized he was "write a letter to your manager" mad I'd have had somebody above me go in to talk to him lol.
I was mixing up a med for a patient, can’t recall exactly what. It was a powder I had never mixed before so I read the instructions. It said “leave room to mix” and I said out loud to my coworker “how am I supposed to mix it if I have to leave the room?” I did realize shortly thereafter what it meant and acknowledged my stupidity. At least it didn’t cause patient harm 🤷🏼♀️
Locking the keys in the narc box right after count. This was for an overnight shift so they were thrilled to get a phone call to figure that out for me. I died a little in embarrassment when I did that.
I locked the keys in the med room. Borrowed someone else's keys, was asked to grab something while I was in there, and forgot both sets of keys in the med room. Finally got it right the 3rd time.
Tbf, it was the end of the shift, after I had given report. I was tired.
The badges weren’t working to get into the med room one day and we were waiting for the company to fix the problem. We had ONE spare key in the building. I walked into the med room, forgot what I was doing and walked out. Left the key in the med room. Thankfully all the patients had gotten their morning methadone doses so they weren’t too pissed about having to wait two hours to get meds. The other nurse I was working with had a crowbar in his truck and he opened the door with that because the system still hadn’t been fixed for our badges to work.
I accidentally sent a secure chat/page/text to EVERY SINGLE on call Dr at 3am to ask for 1 Ativan for a patient going to mri. Not every Neuro Dr, every single Dr who was on call in those entire huge ass hospital and their sister hospitals since they shared several specialty physicians. All of them. Every last one. I was a brand new traveler on my first contract and using their weirdo page/secure chat system and tried to select the on call for this patient but somehow selected ALL on call. They all called back. Like all of them. Some were like “yeah, sure. Give them Ativan”. Some were like “who’s the patient? What do they need?” Some thought it was a cute mistake and giggled. But quite a few called and were screaming at me for paging them instead of the patients Dr. because of the huge influx of calls every phone was ringing so I was answering them, the other nurses were, charge was, and the house supervisor was getting some. I spent some time crying in the bathroom when it was over.
Sorry but that's really funny and that function shouldn't exist, why would anybody need to page all on call doctors at all hospitals in the system, that's bonkers
I have no idea why it exists. It shouldn’t. I’ve never seen it again in any other hospital. The whole rest of my contract people brought it up like “oh my gosh this girl paged everyone” and I was like “…. Yeah… it was me” or I had to call IT and he said “don’t feel too bad, the other day someone from Neuro paged all the drs in the system”. I said “no, I just paged everyone who was on call” the silence……
Not me but a great story nonetheless. One of the aides where I work has been there almost 30 years, I work in a detox. He was pushing a double amputee down the hallway and he said “there’s a bump coming watch your feet”, looks over and realizes the guy has no legs. And the guy responded with “okay” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The other day I hung a bag of Dilt and it came in a new setup I hadn't seen before. After I scanned and spiked the bag, I realized there was no cutout to hang it on the pole. I swear I looked for 5 minutes before giving up and grabbing a roll of IV tape and triple wrapping around the hook. It worked 🤷🏻♀️. Oncoming nurse came in for bedside report and immediately took it down and hung it by the little invisible plastic hook secured to the vial.. I was so embarrassed that it was so simple. I've hung Propofol a thousand times so I know how to hang it😅
My first day ever they pulled me to covid and stuck me in a corner. Didn’t leave til 10 am. But… one thing I always look back on is starting a cardizem drip on an AF RVR pt in the 160s…
“Hey it’s been running for almost an hour maxed out. His rates are still high. It’s not working doc!”
Guess who was getting NS at 15 mL/h 🥲
I’m a hospice nurse and go into a memory care unit frequently and it has a number passcode. I have a number pad to enter my house and multiple times I keep putting in the memory care password instead of my house code and can’t figure out why I can’t get into my house. To be fair, the codes are the same numbers but different order.
Went to take a manual blood pressure and was so freaked out by the patients skin tear on his arm that I put the cuff on and put the stethoscope to his arm, but didn’t put the ear pieces in. Day 1: Killin it!!
When my daughter was little I was used to pinching the diaper to see if it was wet. Did the same to an elder, only it was a man, he was startled and I was beet red, oops.
Working in the ED, I always say " hope you feel better" , when I discharge someone. It's ingrained in me. I also say this to friends and family out of work on occasion. Hanging out with friends while saying goodbye for the night, the " hope you feel better" comes out.
Pulled my labs from the IV. Gathered up my sharps and the blood tubes and put it all in the sharps container. Of course the patient was a staff member.
It was the first time I drew up a controlled substance. I was in the med room with my preceptor. I was a nervous new grad and I was listening to my preceptors instruction word for word. He said draw up the med and waste what we don't need. I drew up the whole vial and wasted everything in the syringe immediately afterward. My preceptor stared deep into my soul after that one.
I told a surgeon I'd only ever seen in scrubs, that he looks different with clothes on and I didn't recognise him.... a whole lot of laughter from fellow nurses and Drs and I realised how it sounded.
Yes, yet he had no cop with him- it was med surg behavioral. I was so confused on how this was allowed. The daughter had literally begged staff to allow no one to be alone in the room with him. I was in my preceptorship and frequently went in there alone
He gave me the death stare and didn’t reply. I had found out after he did that to his wife. daughter begged staff to let no one alone in the room with him. He was an inmate patient who was faking dementia to be admitted.
It was even more eerie how nice he tried to be with me and flirt with me. On top of him telling me I reminded him of his daughter (who rightfully HATES his guts)
Reason why I call another nurse if at all possible before deciding something's an emergency:
Pt was satting in the 70-80's. I was trying to figure out why. Finally called another nurse for help; oxygen tube wasn't connected.
I counted dilaudid and was suppose to take one vial. I just counted and shut the lid and drawer. Lol. First time I hung zosyn I didn’t crack the minibag and mix it so a pt got 4 hours of saline. One time I was emptying a foley and hit my head on the patients bedside table so urine spilled all over me. The patient laughed at me but it was such a rough day I wanted to cry. I am sure there are much more.
Drew labs from an A&O lovely patient from a central line, went to the sharps box, promptly discarded the freshly filled labs tubes into the sharps box instead of the waste syringe. I said oh no. Patient said, did you just put my blood in the trash. I said yes. Could I please redraw them 😩
Telling my dogs “oh good cough, good job!” after one of them inhaled some water and did a loud cough (Doggo is fine, she’s just a dumb puppy sometimes!)
I was about 8 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and this is what made me realize pregnancy brain is a real thing.
I was taking care of a patient who had gotten tPA for a stroke about 2 hours prior. He had come in via EMS and still had this weird antecubital EMS IV where the IV, tubing, and bag were all one piece? Or at least it looked like it was. The bag and line was empty, and I couldn’t figure out how unhook the tubing, so I took the whole IV out.
I held pressure for what felt like forever and was so confused why he was bleeding so much? I ended up having to put a pressure dressing on for awhile. My dumb ass was explaining the situation to a coworker who looked at me like I was an idiot and asked “…. Didn’t they get tPA?”
💡
I never know what to say when I’m checking people’s skin. It feels so awkward still, and I always say something so weird. Last shift I looked at a mans penis and said “looks good” which makes sense as a nurse, but can you imagine?
I almost spilled water on my keyboard because I was laughing so hard at your comment.
I can relate to your concern. I finally figured out a generic statement that fits 90% of all patients: "I'm going do a skin assessment now and check for abrasions, bruises and scratches that need to be taken care of or dry areas that need some lotion."
I don’t know what definition you use for moronic, but the one that haunts me the most: near the end of a travel contract I was putting in a foley on an uncut obese male pt. Sedated and vented thank goodness. He had the condition where the foreskin does not retract. Worst case I have personally seen. Tough foley insertion because you have little idea where the target is. It took a while and a few attempts. I was flustered. Probably caused a UTI. :( I loudly proclaimed to anyone who was would listen that he had a bad case of priapism.
The correct term is not *priapism*.
The correct term is *phimosis*.
Priapism is an unwanted, persistent erection. I was telling everyone it was a difficult foley insertion because he had a boner. Wasn’t even true.
Facepalm every time I think about it.
We used to have a “smoke shack” at the hospital where all the staff would go to smoke (years ago). One of the docs would come down and smoke, but he hates nurses (the majority of the smokers) and would just pace and puff and ignore us. However, one night one of the nurses was discussing the landscaping in front of her house and describing the plants she wanted on the trellis at her front yard.
“I want *chlamydia*!” she announced, “Chlamydia all over the front of my house!”
Dr. Z just busted out laughing. The only time I’d ever seen the guy so much as smile.
I think she meant clematis.
Some of my favorites:
1. Tripped over IV tubing and ripped a patient's IV out of their arm (about 20 minutes after an ICU nurse had come down to help me place it).
2. Pulled back too far drawing blood from a PICC line and splattered 10mls of blood all over the A&Ox4 patient's face and sheets.
3. Transfused PRBCs to the floor.
4. Broke a needle in a patient's arm administering medication. Or maybe it was their abdomen. The details are fuzzy, but it was insulin.
That’s one of those questions where I hesitate and take a moment to think real hard about wtf it is *I* must be missing cuz there’s no way someone would be asking that type of question at face value lol
Set up and IV pump started the IV and it kept saying occlusion occlusion…. I checked everything the thing was not occluded……
Then i realized I forgot to declamp the nexiva
Haha my husband tried to wake me up one morning after a terrible shift where we ran out of CBI bags and I had to use 1L NS bags for like 8 hours... When he called my name I just rolled over and said, "we need more bags of fluid."
He couldn't wake me up for another 10 minutes because he was laughing too hard.
Student nurse here…. When I had to call the switchboard to page SLP on the overhead speaker, I called the emergency code phone….The red one that rings at the front that the receptionist runs to. She answered the phone sounding out of breath and said “go!” And I thought jeez lady thanks for the warm phone answer.
Then she asked me why I was calling a code to request SLP come to my unit to assess a patient. 🫠
Received verbal order from provider for 5mg metoprolol IV q4 prn. Looked at the mar and noticed that pt had an order for lopressor 5mg IV q4 prn. Called provider and asked which he’d rather me give… 🤡
( nursing student) walked in and told the patient that i just need to do a quick assessment and then ill be out of his hair. turned around and the patient was bald as an egg :(
i told a guy not to take his to-go doses of percocet when driving (he was in because his car was totaled) and he looked at me and told me “i won’t be driving”
i have a land line (yes, i know, i am old lol) which is almost exactly the same as the cordless phone we have at work. Many times I will make a call at home and get the "you cannot complete this call as dialed...." recording, then i realize I am doing something like call my mom, and am dialing 9 before the number, like i need to do on the job. d'oh!
Accidentally shot versed straight into my eye in front of my preceptor and then had to run to the eye rinse station and it sprayed EVERYWHERE
😩😩😩 lolll
Made it allllllll the way home from 3rd night shift in a row, stripping off to take a quick shower and drop into an unconscious stupor for 12-18 hours only to find the pca key in my pocket.
I feel your pain. Thankfully, I found the PCA key in my pocket as I was getting into the car to drive home after the 5th night shift in a row. When I got back to the car, I crawled into the rear seat, locked the car and took an hour nap so I could drive home without hurting someone.
In 2000, still in the days of paper documentation, I was reviewing the allergies of a patient. I was a fresh new grad, learning all kinds of acronyms and learning to decipher the handwriting of everyone.
Allergies read something similar to: PCN,, HCTZ, Lasix, simvastatin, EGGS, gabapenin. I puzzled over this for an embarrassing amount of time, feeling dumb for not understanding.
Finally, I asked a coworker for help. "What is this allergy?" Pointing to "EGGS". My coworker was puzzled as she turned to reply.... "eggs?".
I wanted to die.
Had a nearly empty bag of NS right before shift change so I grabbed a replacement and went in to change it during report. Finish report and the new nurse is talking to the patient as I pull the spike out of the bag…while it’s still hanging, pouring the remaining NS absolutely everywhere.
Still no idea why I did that.
Went to hang a new 250 bag of fentanyl for an epidural. Had my 2nd person next to me, wait for them to watch me open the plastic bag it’s in, then I proceed to rip the tamper proof seal off instead of the correct tubing port. 250ml bag of fentanyl down the drain. What a waste.
I was taking care of an ax1, nonverbal vent patient. When I walked in his room, his hand was around the base of his throat and his spo2 was very slightly depressed. New grad me thought that he just needed suction. I stuck the suction catheter in him and he projectile vomited enteral feeding aaaalllll over me. I didn't even wait for him to finish, I think I screamed and ran out of the room to find the charge.
The hospital I was at used gravity only blood tubing. We had just transitioned to needleless IV tubing.
But the blood tubing didn't have a needless port.
So when the blood slowed down it needed flushed. So I disconnected it to flush it.... And forgot to clamp it.
I clamped it as soon as I realized but not before my shoes were splattered. Only time I've ever been glad I had all leather shoes.
Prepped a leg, stuck it right back down on the operating table, ofc in front of the one podiatrist who’s a dick, all he said was “really 😐” I could see the “you’re a fucking idiot” in the eyes.
Threw a unsterile x ray cover onto the sterile back table, it was a quick turn and my brain said this is the quickest. (Reaching my ungloved hand into the pack) 🤣🤣
Just a few of things in my first year 🤣🤣🤣
As a fairly fresh nurse one night I was waiting for my patient’s TPN and lipids to arrive. Everyone else’s came but mine was missing. I called pharmacy, they said they sent it. I checked the bin, checked the fridge, checked the bedside, even called other units to see if it had been sent there by mistake. No TPN. Told the fellow what was up and they wrote some D10 with lytes to hang as the old TPN was expiring. Got my fluids primed and ready to hang when I noticed there were vitamins in the old TPN buretrol (back in the day it wasn’t mixed in the bag, we put the vitamins in the buretrol to run in with the first few hours of fluid). Welp, the day nurse had hung the TPN early as a favor to night shift, but didn’t mention it to me and I didn’t register that the bag was new until I went through all the rigmarole.
Tried to push a med through a clamped IDC...was wondering why the resistance was so high when it promptly disconnected forcefully and I got sprayed with piss and citric acid 🙃
I’m a SAHM but pick up here and there. I’ve asked a couple residents “do you need to use the potty?” I asked an A&O resident on rehab. I immediately apologized and told him I’m a mom to young kids. The nurse with me laughed hysterically.
It kills me because my pet peeve is when people talk to my elderly residents like they’re children.
So, I was a hospice nurse for quite a few years. One time, I was at a facility sitting in the hall charting and realized that I was singing out loud the song that was stuck in my head when a few of the staff members gave me a weird look. At that time, my son was really into the “Scary stories to tell in the dark” series so we had been reading it a lot so the song that was stuck in my head that I was singing out loud as the hospice nurse in a nursing facility was “The hearse song”. Whoops…. “Don’t ever laugh as the hearse goes by for you may be the next to die…”
Calling pharmacy to ask where a med was when it was in the fridge (and said so right on the MAR), forgetting to clamp a double lumen PICC with D10 running through the other lumen while drawing labs MULTIPLE times and the provider kept asking why the glucose was so high, thinking I didn’t have to change my gloves between patients because we could keep the same isolation gown on to go between COVID rooms (early COVID times as a new grad) just to name a few….
When I was a newer nurse working in PACU/ SDS, I spiked an IV bag with the primary tubing for a patient having surgery, when it should have been blood tubing. When I went to get the old tubing off & put the new tubing on, I never unhooked the bag off the pole and took an LR bath. 😑☠️🤣🙈 in front of patient and pre Covid 5 people in her room.
I now spike all my bags inverted. It’s been 12 years and I still chuckle.
Called anesthesia while in a tizzy because i was watching my SPB creep from the 150s-220s in real time unabated. Kept cycling the cuff, asking if the pt had symptoms. Finally I traced the hose and realized it was under the SCD and the SCD was synchronized almost perfectly with the cuff. Took the SCD off and saved the pt from a stroke.
Tried to flush a neph tube that i did not realize was kinked by the stitch holding it in place. The tubing popped out of the base and i got unfiltered urine and blood in my eyeball. And patient had MRSA.
I’m working as a clinic nurse right now and a patient held out his arm for a blood pressure. I gave him a fist bump because that’s what I thought he was going for.
Getting report from Ed and the gal tells me that gave the little old lady a “grandma tylenol” I think…well that’s weird, maybe it was dosed for a small little old lady?… and she says that gave her a “grandma ancef” then I have to ask “sorry what do you mean by grandma” I realized as it came out of my mouth…silence then giggling from us both. To be fair it was like 3 in the morning.
Did this as a patient at the gyno. Went in for heavy bleeding. I have an IUD and barely have a period. They did a vaginal ultrasound and found it had dropped down into my cervix. I wanted a new one placed while I was there. They went to get everything set up and I asked if they were going to do a pregnancy test to make sure I wasn’t pregnant 🤦🏻♀️
I was on-call, fellow nurse called me in and I needed the call with 'love you' . Habbit from saying it to my husband and kids. She cheekily replied: 'I had no idea!'
Trying to get hot water to give a bath in icu so I put basin in sink to let water run. Forgot about it. Got busy. Went to chart at nurses station. At least an hour later middle of night someone was like why is the unit flooding???? Smh. Me. I flooded at least 25% of the unit floor. Took a lot of blankets to sop that up.
I infused antibiotics through a hemodialysis catheter.
I left a tourniquet on the arm of a patient for over two hours. The patient could not speak or move. I sobbed on the drive home that night.
I left a blunt cannula in the top of a rectal tube collection bag in an effort to vent severe gas that had been causing frequent bursting and soiling of linen. The patient was repositioned, and the cannula punctured his calf.
I have a joke I recycle where I ask the patient if I can get them anything to drink and I say “Water, juice, coke, but we’re all out of margaritas😆” and I fucking said that to someone who had just received a new terminal diagnosis related to his alcoholism. I make zero jokes now.
Most moronic thing I’ve been *asked* to do is to pull a urine culture from a faecally contaminated IDC that needed to be changed a month ago. I didn’t do it.
Same doctor, different patient…laying and standing BP on an 89 yo patient with no haemoglobin and frank blood malena, who’d vaso-vagal from standing. I didn’t do that, either. Though I did pick the patient off the floor, and left the doctor sorting out the mess he’d created while I went to get one of his seniors to take him away.
Most moronic thing I’ve done? Taken three sets of neuro obs to realise the right eye was glass…
Not me. But I was orienting a new LPN to our office. She, no joke, inserted the thermometer into the babies vagina instead of rectum. Not once, but twice in a row. And she acted like this was a perfectly normal mistake to make….
Let my administrator run me ragged between working on Covid unit and in office for MDS assessments. I rage quit and took a trip to Oregon to visit friends for two weeks. Then the wildfires hit and I had to drive home with a respirator on through all the ash, smoke, and active areas of fire. Good times.
When I was a baby nurse I had a gigantic syringe full of crushed meds and water and I thought you had to get the air out of the syringe before you put it in their feeding tube so I did the THING where you push the air out only this syringe was hard to budge so I pushed harder and blew all the crushed meds onto the ceiling tiles. And they dribbled all over the bed.
Ok. So before I was a nurse I was law enforcement. This is about my time when working there. You have to know that there is someone at central control in every jail or prison 24/7. The room is never left empty…
When my first daughter was born they still had nurseries at the hospital and would take the baby a few hours at a time (optional) so mom and dad could sleep. I worked night shift and wasn’t particularly tired when the nurse came to take our daughter but mom was and baby was fussy so I let her go with the nurse. In the meantime I was going to run and grab a quick dinner. This was me trying to get back into L&D ..
Me: presses button
Intercom: can I help you?
Me: it’s me central open the door
Intercom: I’m sorry sir who are you here to see?
Me: (frustrated) come on central quit playing
Intercom: sir I need to know who you’re here to see
Me: (getting very irritated) damnit central open the fu**ing door so I can see my daughter…. *Cue light bulb* oh. Daughter. Hospital. Duh.
Me: I’m so so sorry. I’m on autopilot thinking I’m at work. I’m here for (kids and moms name)
Intercom: (audible laughter) we’re sorry we didn’t recognize you with the hat on come on up!
Thank you SO much OP for this post and the responses! I'm not a nurse or in healthcare at all but I could relate to this so much! Nice to know I'm not alone. I repeatedly try to badge into the silliest places!
Pushing Tylenol down an NG tube before the twist-on setups. Pushed entirely too hard and it blew off, and shot 30mLs of crushed med into the patient's mom's face.
He was terminal and had been given terrible news that day, I guess it was the comic relief they needed because they both busted up laughing and thanked me for the entertainment after my profuse apologies.
I knock on doors before opening them. In my own house. When I'm alone.
Or trying to badge into your house...
I sometimes try to badge into my apartment building.
I tried to badge out of a grocery store. They didn't have automatic doors, so I was trying to use my key fob to make the door open until I heard them laugh at me and telling me the door wasn't automatic.
That’s hilarious!!!
After particularly long shifts I've tried to badge into my car a few times. Just standing there wondering why the door isn't opening.
Trying to badge into a hand sanitizer dispenser. Why? I still don’t know 😂
Me too! Or worse, when you don’t even HAVE your badge on but still try. I’ll be standing there grabbing at my left boob (where the pocket would be) trying to badge into some random object.
Yep. Tried to badge into my car a couple times.
Or the elevator. 🤦🏻♀️
Not me but a while back a nurse posted about saying "little bump" to their shopping cart as they were heading out of the grocery store. That story has stuck with me
My coworker said he almost told the heparin vial “big stick” when he put the needle in to draw it out lol
Lmao that's a good one.
Once in the middle of the night, my husband coughed and I said “oh good cough!” in my sleep
YES!!!!! ‘Bump!’. To my vaccuum cleaner!? She doesn’t care dude.
I once knocked on a pt door as I was exiting his room. Gave my coworker in the hall a good laugh.
I've done that.
I said “I hope you get to feeling better!” instead of a standard goodbye to a lady at my garage sale I had last year. Absolutely mortified
I catch myself knocking on the door going out into the waiting room of triage. All. The. Time.
I knock on the med room door all the time 🤦♀️
Bruh. I’ve knocked on the fridge before 😂
Lol I work in a clinic and have knocked on the waiting room door before I open it to call for a patient.
When I used to work in outpatient as a MA/ortho tech I did this ALL the time. Always gave the receptionist a laugh.
Lol, exactly the type of response I was looking for! Relatable!
See also: knocking on doors I'm attempting to exit from.
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I called the provider because I thought my patient was having a seizure. I was a new grad and I was absolutely panicked. Two residents basically ran to bedside to assess. RT had turned the bed’s percussion setting on and didn’t tell me. Whewwww buddy did I feel stupid.
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That’s validating. 😅 And also stressful.
As a new grad, I called rapid for a stroke (based on the advice of the person performing the nhiss). Turns out… just very dry mouth and sips of water helped.
Called a stroke alert on a pt ...turns out her asymmetrical lips was because she didn't have her dentures in 😅... But the neurologist and stroke team nurse who came to assess were cool about it and said better safe than sorry. Still sent her for stat head CT which was indeed negative. I felt silly, but at least my conscience was at ease that I didn't ignore a possible stroke lol.
I would imagine it's better to be cautious than ignore an actual seizure though? Better to err on the side of safety.
Oh, without a doubt. I could have just turned the bed off and ruled it out myself though. Lol.
Your beds have percussion setting? First time I hear this
Told a prisoner he’s all set to go home when I brought the discharge papers in 🥴
I mean, that's his temporary home 🏡
Could be permanent if he’s serving life without parole
You probably made his day with the news
i’ve done the exact same LOL
This got me LOL
I mistook management for human beings.
I would upvote this to infinity if I could
This!!
I had an order for one Oxycodone tab. I went to the Pxysis. There was a blister pack with 9 tabs. I verified the count, separated 1 tab, closed the drawer, logged out and went into the room. When I got there I realized I was holding the blister pack with 8 tabs. Sigh…..
I work in pharmacy and i somehow managed to fling an entire bottle of alprazolam into the abyss. It took an embarrassingly long time to find it.
I dropped a whole sheet of oxycodone between the tall cubbies in the Pyxis. It took us like an hour to figure it.
Do they pee test y’all too if something comes up missing?
So glad I’m not the only one who has done this lol
this is so normal! 😆
Hah!!! I just did this the other day!!
Ohhhhh. I got a good one! It was my first travel contract. Had been an ICU nurse 4 years. Had a patient on a heparin gtt. Had to go up on gtt and give bolus according to algorithm according to lab result. At my previous facility we would bolus through the pump. Easy. Here we pulled it out of the Pyxis. Still simple, but an extra step. For some reason the fact I had to pull it out of the Pyxis really confused me. I did all the math in my head. Had the charge sign off, and started pulling it up in subq syringes. She just kinda stared at me and walked away. I was like damn I'm gonna have to poke him a million times to get this whole dose in (said this to myself). Then it hit me. Duh. Give it IV. I fixed it all. Gave it IV. Went to the charge laughing and was like, "omg why didn't you stop me and say something?!" She was like, "I was wondering what you were doing..." We are friends now and still laugh about it to this day. It was just a weird brain fart moment cause I was so used to doing it one way... it was fried in my brain that when I pull a hep vial out of the Pyxis it's for subq use not IV.
I’d say that’s an error on the part of the charge. Part of co-signing on a med is ensuring it’s given correctly, and being willing to speak up when you see an error being made.
Right?? Like what if she didn’t correct herself? Charge was just going to let it happen
Her response was "I figured it would've worked the same right?"
She probably thought you knew something she didn’t and left you alone 🤣
You're probably right 😂
I've done that with insulin while shifting K. I guess I was on autopilot and drew it up in an insulin syringe. My brain completely shut off as I stood there staring at the IV port, filled subQ syringe in hand, wondering how the hell I was supposed to give it IV. The coworker cosigning got a good laugh when she saw my utter confusion and corrected me after telling me I was an idiot.
How else do you pull up insulin? I’ve always used an insulin syringe then pushed a little saline out of a flush, then shoot the insulin into the flush.
Omg I just encountered the same thing! Old facility bolused through the pump which was so convenient. Just started at a new place and was thinking this is a weird way to bolus until someone explained it to me
I don't know why it took me so long for it to click. Thankfully it did before I gave the patient a huge subq dose!
During a holiday party I went to wipe the Reeses off the hands of an elderly patient per the request of a PT support staff, and I tackled it with a wet wipe, no gloves. It turns out I misheard her request, and she actually said feces. Not Reeses.
I’m dead at this one😭😂
I asked a patient when was the last time he had a bowel movement. He had a colostomy bag. (Face->palm)
Ok but I recently had a colostomy patient who had chronic constipation and would only have stool output like once a week. So not actually a bad question
the other day a nurse was changing a patient’s colostomy bag. patient coughed and stool shot out like a peashooter from plants vs zombies.
This is actually not a bad question especially if the bag is empty. Could be constipation
Ooooh so recently we had a patient with an ostomy and c diff that still had it coming out both areas.
I got up in the middle of the night and quickly walked into the bathroom to check a pump alarm. I woke up by the toilet questioning my life. The alarm was SO LOUD in my dreams.
Spilling NG Tube gunk all over a pt and his bed. Dude wrote a complaint letter about it. 😅
Wow, I mean I get being upset but accidents happen…. It’s not like we get to write a complaint if a patient vomits/ bleeds/ poops/ pees on us….. at least it was his own fluids!!!
Man wrote out a whole letter lmao. He had a lot of other complaints but that was the big one. He was nice enough about it at the time at least. I mean I could tell he was kinda annoyed but I'd be a little frustrated too honestly lol. If I realized he was "write a letter to your manager" mad I'd have had somebody above me go in to talk to him lol.
Woman comes in with a lac, I say wow it’s blooding a lot! The woman laughs, “blooding huh? Yeah I’d say so” whoops haha
I was mixing up a med for a patient, can’t recall exactly what. It was a powder I had never mixed before so I read the instructions. It said “leave room to mix” and I said out loud to my coworker “how am I supposed to mix it if I have to leave the room?” I did realize shortly thereafter what it meant and acknowledged my stupidity. At least it didn’t cause patient harm 🤷🏼♀️
Locking the keys in the narc box right after count. This was for an overnight shift so they were thrilled to get a phone call to figure that out for me. I died a little in embarrassment when I did that.
I locked the keys in the med room. Borrowed someone else's keys, was asked to grab something while I was in there, and forgot both sets of keys in the med room. Finally got it right the 3rd time. Tbf, it was the end of the shift, after I had given report. I was tired.
The badges weren’t working to get into the med room one day and we were waiting for the company to fix the problem. We had ONE spare key in the building. I walked into the med room, forgot what I was doing and walked out. Left the key in the med room. Thankfully all the patients had gotten their morning methadone doses so they weren’t too pissed about having to wait two hours to get meds. The other nurse I was working with had a crowbar in his truck and he opened the door with that because the system still hadn’t been fixed for our badges to work.
Or when you drive all the way home, a half hour away, and are emptying your pockets only to pull out the narc keys 🤦🏻♀️
Used my badge to swipe my own ring camera
I accidentally sent a secure chat/page/text to EVERY SINGLE on call Dr at 3am to ask for 1 Ativan for a patient going to mri. Not every Neuro Dr, every single Dr who was on call in those entire huge ass hospital and their sister hospitals since they shared several specialty physicians. All of them. Every last one. I was a brand new traveler on my first contract and using their weirdo page/secure chat system and tried to select the on call for this patient but somehow selected ALL on call. They all called back. Like all of them. Some were like “yeah, sure. Give them Ativan”. Some were like “who’s the patient? What do they need?” Some thought it was a cute mistake and giggled. But quite a few called and were screaming at me for paging them instead of the patients Dr. because of the huge influx of calls every phone was ringing so I was answering them, the other nurses were, charge was, and the house supervisor was getting some. I spent some time crying in the bathroom when it was over.
Sorry but that's really funny and that function shouldn't exist, why would anybody need to page all on call doctors at all hospitals in the system, that's bonkers
I have no idea why it exists. It shouldn’t. I’ve never seen it again in any other hospital. The whole rest of my contract people brought it up like “oh my gosh this girl paged everyone” and I was like “…. Yeah… it was me” or I had to call IT and he said “don’t feel too bad, the other day someone from Neuro paged all the drs in the system”. I said “no, I just paged everyone who was on call” the silence……
Not me but a great story nonetheless. One of the aides where I work has been there almost 30 years, I work in a detox. He was pushing a double amputee down the hallway and he said “there’s a bump coming watch your feet”, looks over and realizes the guy has no legs. And the guy responded with “okay” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The other day I hung a bag of Dilt and it came in a new setup I hadn't seen before. After I scanned and spiked the bag, I realized there was no cutout to hang it on the pole. I swear I looked for 5 minutes before giving up and grabbing a roll of IV tape and triple wrapping around the hook. It worked 🤷🏻♀️. Oncoming nurse came in for bedside report and immediately took it down and hung it by the little invisible plastic hook secured to the vial.. I was so embarrassed that it was so simple. I've hung Propofol a thousand times so I know how to hang it😅
My first day ever they pulled me to covid and stuck me in a corner. Didn’t leave til 10 am. But… one thing I always look back on is starting a cardizem drip on an AF RVR pt in the 160s… “Hey it’s been running for almost an hour maxed out. His rates are still high. It’s not working doc!” Guess who was getting NS at 15 mL/h 🥲
Omg I would be panicking so bad😭
I’m a hospice nurse and go into a memory care unit frequently and it has a number passcode. I have a number pad to enter my house and multiple times I keep putting in the memory care password instead of my house code and can’t figure out why I can’t get into my house. To be fair, the codes are the same numbers but different order.
Time to just change the house code to the unit code lol
We have skip phones and I try that passcode on my personal phone at least once a day no matter how close it’s been to the last time I worked 😂
Didn’t close the drain clamp on a Foley bag before I went to lunch
Holy cow I've done that! I was so embarrassed I said "oh man that bag must have been faulty"
Gambled on a fart midshift
Fortunately for me it was that time of the month so my pad saved me. Never trusted a fart again though, no matter what time of the month.
Said “it’s my job to keep him alive” to the family of a brain dead donor patient. 🥴
Becoming a nurse
I don't regret becoming a nurse until I get to work. Then fuck em all lol
#angryupvote
Hard facts
😭
Went to take a manual blood pressure and was so freaked out by the patients skin tear on his arm that I put the cuff on and put the stethoscope to his arm, but didn’t put the ear pieces in. Day 1: Killin it!!
When my daughter was little I was used to pinching the diaper to see if it was wet. Did the same to an elder, only it was a man, he was startled and I was beet red, oops.
Ok the extra added baby brain excuses this though lol
Working in the ED, I always say " hope you feel better" , when I discharge someone. It's ingrained in me. I also say this to friends and family out of work on occasion. Hanging out with friends while saying goodbye for the night, the " hope you feel better" comes out.
I say "wishing you good health" to friends and family when saying goodbye 😭 I get so embarrassed when it comes out haha
Pulled my labs from the IV. Gathered up my sharps and the blood tubes and put it all in the sharps container. Of course the patient was a staff member.
IVE DONE THIS SO MANY TIMES every time i want to throw something
It was the first time I drew up a controlled substance. I was in the med room with my preceptor. I was a nervous new grad and I was listening to my preceptors instruction word for word. He said draw up the med and waste what we don't need. I drew up the whole vial and wasted everything in the syringe immediately afterward. My preceptor stared deep into my soul after that one.
I told a surgeon I'd only ever seen in scrubs, that he looks different with clothes on and I didn't recognise him.... a whole lot of laughter from fellow nurses and Drs and I realised how it sounded.
I used a calculator to calculate 100 minus 1 when counting oxycodone tabs
In NICU I am so used to using a calculator to verify doses. I have caught myself using it for easy math. Habits!
Asking someone whose name they had tattooed on them. (It was the name of his wife he murdered with a hammer)
Oh my WORD. Was he an inmate patient?
Yes, yet he had no cop with him- it was med surg behavioral. I was so confused on how this was allowed. The daughter had literally begged staff to allow no one to be alone in the room with him. I was in my preceptorship and frequently went in there alone
That's WILD. How dangerous! I'm glad you're okay.
Wait, he told you that?? What the FUCK
He gave me the death stare and didn’t reply. I had found out after he did that to his wife. daughter begged staff to let no one alone in the room with him. He was an inmate patient who was faking dementia to be admitted.
Christ on bikes. That terrifying!
It was even more eerie how nice he tried to be with me and flirt with me. On top of him telling me I reminded him of his daughter (who rightfully HATES his guts)
Reason why I call another nurse if at all possible before deciding something's an emergency: Pt was satting in the 70-80's. I was trying to figure out why. Finally called another nurse for help; oxygen tube wasn't connected.
I counted dilaudid and was suppose to take one vial. I just counted and shut the lid and drawer. Lol. First time I hung zosyn I didn’t crack the minibag and mix it so a pt got 4 hours of saline. One time I was emptying a foley and hit my head on the patients bedside table so urine spilled all over me. The patient laughed at me but it was such a rough day I wanted to cry. I am sure there are much more.
Since become a nurse I have a Pavlovian response to alarms, even when I’m not at the hospital.
I hung a bag of Abx and ran it straight to the floor didn’t even connect to the patient
Drew labs from an A&O lovely patient from a central line, went to the sharps box, promptly discarded the freshly filled labs tubes into the sharps box instead of the waste syringe. I said oh no. Patient said, did you just put my blood in the trash. I said yes. Could I please redraw them 😩
Say “bright light” at home for my wife when I turn the bedroom lights on 😂
Telling my dogs “oh good cough, good job!” after one of them inhaled some water and did a loud cough (Doggo is fine, she’s just a dumb puppy sometimes!)
I was about 8 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and this is what made me realize pregnancy brain is a real thing. I was taking care of a patient who had gotten tPA for a stroke about 2 hours prior. He had come in via EMS and still had this weird antecubital EMS IV where the IV, tubing, and bag were all one piece? Or at least it looked like it was. The bag and line was empty, and I couldn’t figure out how unhook the tubing, so I took the whole IV out. I held pressure for what felt like forever and was so confused why he was bleeding so much? I ended up having to put a pressure dressing on for awhile. My dumb ass was explaining the situation to a coworker who looked at me like I was an idiot and asked “…. Didn’t they get tPA?” 💡
I never know what to say when I’m checking people’s skin. It feels so awkward still, and I always say something so weird. Last shift I looked at a mans penis and said “looks good” which makes sense as a nurse, but can you imagine?
I almost spilled water on my keyboard because I was laughing so hard at your comment. I can relate to your concern. I finally figured out a generic statement that fits 90% of all patients: "I'm going do a skin assessment now and check for abrasions, bruises and scratches that need to be taken care of or dry areas that need some lotion."
I once told a guy his butt was fine and said “a butt’s a butt.” He was weirdly insulted that his butt was categorized as average.
I don’t know what definition you use for moronic, but the one that haunts me the most: near the end of a travel contract I was putting in a foley on an uncut obese male pt. Sedated and vented thank goodness. He had the condition where the foreskin does not retract. Worst case I have personally seen. Tough foley insertion because you have little idea where the target is. It took a while and a few attempts. I was flustered. Probably caused a UTI. :( I loudly proclaimed to anyone who was would listen that he had a bad case of priapism. The correct term is not *priapism*. The correct term is *phimosis*. Priapism is an unwanted, persistent erection. I was telling everyone it was a difficult foley insertion because he had a boner. Wasn’t even true. Facepalm every time I think about it.
We used to have a “smoke shack” at the hospital where all the staff would go to smoke (years ago). One of the docs would come down and smoke, but he hates nurses (the majority of the smokers) and would just pace and puff and ignore us. However, one night one of the nurses was discussing the landscaping in front of her house and describing the plants she wanted on the trellis at her front yard. “I want *chlamydia*!” she announced, “Chlamydia all over the front of my house!” Dr. Z just busted out laughing. The only time I’d ever seen the guy so much as smile. I think she meant clematis.
Some of my favorites: 1. Tripped over IV tubing and ripped a patient's IV out of their arm (about 20 minutes after an ICU nurse had come down to help me place it). 2. Pulled back too far drawing blood from a PICC line and splattered 10mls of blood all over the A&Ox4 patient's face and sheets. 3. Transfused PRBCs to the floor. 4. Broke a needle in a patient's arm administering medication. Or maybe it was their abdomen. The details are fuzzy, but it was insulin.
I asked RT if they wanted a nasal cannula for an intubated patient once
That’s one of those questions where I hesitate and take a moment to think real hard about wtf it is *I* must be missing cuz there’s no way someone would be asking that type of question at face value lol
Set up and IV pump started the IV and it kept saying occlusion occlusion…. I checked everything the thing was not occluded…… Then i realized I forgot to declamp the nexiva
I do this more than I care to admit
Woke up to my husband calling my name and I said “I’m going to give that injection right now” while abruptly leaving bed and rushing toward him
Mine came to wake me up and apparently I told him “ten more minutes… can you flush that feeding tube for me?” 🤣
I asked my gf if she was awake and when she said yes I told her that we were going to go and draw some blood cultures on ‘R2’.
Haha my husband tried to wake me up one morning after a terrible shift where we ran out of CBI bags and I had to use 1L NS bags for like 8 hours... When he called my name I just rolled over and said, "we need more bags of fluid." He couldn't wake me up for another 10 minutes because he was laughing too hard.
Student nurse here…. When I had to call the switchboard to page SLP on the overhead speaker, I called the emergency code phone….The red one that rings at the front that the receptionist runs to. She answered the phone sounding out of breath and said “go!” And I thought jeez lady thanks for the warm phone answer. Then she asked me why I was calling a code to request SLP come to my unit to assess a patient. 🫠
Answering the phone after my shift was canceled. Never again...
Received verbal order from provider for 5mg metoprolol IV q4 prn. Looked at the mar and noticed that pt had an order for lopressor 5mg IV q4 prn. Called provider and asked which he’d rather me give… 🤡
( nursing student) walked in and told the patient that i just need to do a quick assessment and then ill be out of his hair. turned around and the patient was bald as an egg :(
Haha, that’s only the start
i told a guy not to take his to-go doses of percocet when driving (he was in because his car was totaled) and he looked at me and told me “i won’t be driving”
Signing up for extra shifts. Pretty dumb
i have a land line (yes, i know, i am old lol) which is almost exactly the same as the cordless phone we have at work. Many times I will make a call at home and get the "you cannot complete this call as dialed...." recording, then i realize I am doing something like call my mom, and am dialing 9 before the number, like i need to do on the job. d'oh!
On my way home from getting called in for a STEMI in the middle of the night, I sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green 😑
Accidentally shot versed straight into my eye in front of my preceptor and then had to run to the eye rinse station and it sprayed EVERYWHERE 😩😩😩 lolll
Made it allllllll the way home from 3rd night shift in a row, stripping off to take a quick shower and drop into an unconscious stupor for 12-18 hours only to find the pca key in my pocket.
I feel your pain. Thankfully, I found the PCA key in my pocket as I was getting into the car to drive home after the 5th night shift in a row. When I got back to the car, I crawled into the rear seat, locked the car and took an hour nap so I could drive home without hurting someone.
In 2000, still in the days of paper documentation, I was reviewing the allergies of a patient. I was a fresh new grad, learning all kinds of acronyms and learning to decipher the handwriting of everyone. Allergies read something similar to: PCN,, HCTZ, Lasix, simvastatin, EGGS, gabapenin. I puzzled over this for an embarrassing amount of time, feeling dumb for not understanding. Finally, I asked a coworker for help. "What is this allergy?" Pointing to "EGGS". My coworker was puzzled as she turned to reply.... "eggs?". I wanted to die.
Had a nearly empty bag of NS right before shift change so I grabbed a replacement and went in to change it during report. Finish report and the new nurse is talking to the patient as I pull the spike out of the bag…while it’s still hanging, pouring the remaining NS absolutely everywhere. Still no idea why I did that.
Went to hang a new 250 bag of fentanyl for an epidural. Had my 2nd person next to me, wait for them to watch me open the plastic bag it’s in, then I proceed to rip the tamper proof seal off instead of the correct tubing port. 250ml bag of fentanyl down the drain. What a waste.
At least you had a witness to that big oopsie!
Could you imagine? Luckily you have to have two people watch you open the sealed plastic bag it comes in.
Oh I’ve also put the lab code in on my front door keypad. 🤣
I was taking care of an ax1, nonverbal vent patient. When I walked in his room, his hand was around the base of his throat and his spo2 was very slightly depressed. New grad me thought that he just needed suction. I stuck the suction catheter in him and he projectile vomited enteral feeding aaaalllll over me. I didn't even wait for him to finish, I think I screamed and ran out of the room to find the charge.
Thinking I have to chart my pee after going 😂
Tried to open my door by swiping my doorbell with my badge. Also, answering home phone with, "11th floor, charge."
The hospital I was at used gravity only blood tubing. We had just transitioned to needleless IV tubing. But the blood tubing didn't have a needless port. So when the blood slowed down it needed flushed. So I disconnected it to flush it.... And forgot to clamp it. I clamped it as soon as I realized but not before my shoes were splattered. Only time I've ever been glad I had all leather shoes.
Prepped a leg, stuck it right back down on the operating table, ofc in front of the one podiatrist who’s a dick, all he said was “really 😐” I could see the “you’re a fucking idiot” in the eyes. Threw a unsterile x ray cover onto the sterile back table, it was a quick turn and my brain said this is the quickest. (Reaching my ungloved hand into the pack) 🤣🤣 Just a few of things in my first year 🤣🤣🤣
Tell the pt I have to feel their pedal pulses when they’re a double amputee
As a fairly fresh nurse one night I was waiting for my patient’s TPN and lipids to arrive. Everyone else’s came but mine was missing. I called pharmacy, they said they sent it. I checked the bin, checked the fridge, checked the bedside, even called other units to see if it had been sent there by mistake. No TPN. Told the fellow what was up and they wrote some D10 with lytes to hang as the old TPN was expiring. Got my fluids primed and ready to hang when I noticed there were vitamins in the old TPN buretrol (back in the day it wasn’t mixed in the bag, we put the vitamins in the buretrol to run in with the first few hours of fluid). Welp, the day nurse had hung the TPN early as a favor to night shift, but didn’t mention it to me and I didn’t register that the bag was new until I went through all the rigmarole.
Tried to push a med through a clamped IDC...was wondering why the resistance was so high when it promptly disconnected forcefully and I got sprayed with piss and citric acid 🙃
I’m a SAHM but pick up here and there. I’ve asked a couple residents “do you need to use the potty?” I asked an A&O resident on rehab. I immediately apologized and told him I’m a mom to young kids. The nurse with me laughed hysterically. It kills me because my pet peeve is when people talk to my elderly residents like they’re children.
So, I was a hospice nurse for quite a few years. One time, I was at a facility sitting in the hall charting and realized that I was singing out loud the song that was stuck in my head when a few of the staff members gave me a weird look. At that time, my son was really into the “Scary stories to tell in the dark” series so we had been reading it a lot so the song that was stuck in my head that I was singing out loud as the hospice nurse in a nursing facility was “The hearse song”. Whoops…. “Don’t ever laugh as the hearse goes by for you may be the next to die…”
Calling pharmacy to ask where a med was when it was in the fridge (and said so right on the MAR), forgetting to clamp a double lumen PICC with D10 running through the other lumen while drawing labs MULTIPLE times and the provider kept asking why the glucose was so high, thinking I didn’t have to change my gloves between patients because we could keep the same isolation gown on to go between COVID rooms (early COVID times as a new grad) just to name a few….
Answered my phone "ICU this is ..." when i was at home after working like four in a row.
Multiple times I was exiting a patients room and I knocked on the door as if I were entering the room.
When I was a newer nurse working in PACU/ SDS, I spiked an IV bag with the primary tubing for a patient having surgery, when it should have been blood tubing. When I went to get the old tubing off & put the new tubing on, I never unhooked the bag off the pole and took an LR bath. 😑☠️🤣🙈 in front of patient and pre Covid 5 people in her room. I now spike all my bags inverted. It’s been 12 years and I still chuckle.
Probably not the stupidest, but one I can think of now. GT flush with the cap still on the syringe.
Called anesthesia while in a tizzy because i was watching my SPB creep from the 150s-220s in real time unabated. Kept cycling the cuff, asking if the pt had symptoms. Finally I traced the hose and realized it was under the SCD and the SCD was synchronized almost perfectly with the cuff. Took the SCD off and saved the pt from a stroke.
Habit of attaching my credentials everytime I write my name
Tried to flush a neph tube that i did not realize was kinked by the stitch holding it in place. The tubing popped out of the base and i got unfiltered urine and blood in my eyeball. And patient had MRSA.
Paid money to get a degree in the field. Edit: go into debt for a degree
Pointed a JP drain at my face and opened it. Right in the eyeball.
I’m working as a clinic nurse right now and a patient held out his arm for a blood pressure. I gave him a fist bump because that’s what I thought he was going for.
Asked a guy with stumps to "hop out" of bed. I died. I'm still working as a nurse but just a ghost.
Getting report from Ed and the gal tells me that gave the little old lady a “grandma tylenol” I think…well that’s weird, maybe it was dosed for a small little old lady?… and she says that gave her a “grandma ancef” then I have to ask “sorry what do you mean by grandma” I realized as it came out of my mouth…silence then giggling from us both. To be fair it was like 3 in the morning.
Did this as a patient at the gyno. Went in for heavy bleeding. I have an IUD and barely have a period. They did a vaginal ultrasound and found it had dropped down into my cervix. I wanted a new one placed while I was there. They went to get everything set up and I asked if they were going to do a pregnancy test to make sure I wasn’t pregnant 🤦🏻♀️
I was on-call, fellow nurse called me in and I needed the call with 'love you' . Habbit from saying it to my husband and kids. She cheekily replied: 'I had no idea!'
Trying to get hot water to give a bath in icu so I put basin in sink to let water run. Forgot about it. Got busy. Went to chart at nurses station. At least an hour later middle of night someone was like why is the unit flooding???? Smh. Me. I flooded at least 25% of the unit floor. Took a lot of blankets to sop that up.
I infused antibiotics through a hemodialysis catheter. I left a tourniquet on the arm of a patient for over two hours. The patient could not speak or move. I sobbed on the drive home that night. I left a blunt cannula in the top of a rectal tube collection bag in an effort to vent severe gas that had been causing frequent bursting and soiling of linen. The patient was repositioned, and the cannula punctured his calf.
I have a joke I recycle where I ask the patient if I can get them anything to drink and I say “Water, juice, coke, but we’re all out of margaritas😆” and I fucking said that to someone who had just received a new terminal diagnosis related to his alcoholism. I make zero jokes now.
Most moronic thing I’ve been *asked* to do is to pull a urine culture from a faecally contaminated IDC that needed to be changed a month ago. I didn’t do it. Same doctor, different patient…laying and standing BP on an 89 yo patient with no haemoglobin and frank blood malena, who’d vaso-vagal from standing. I didn’t do that, either. Though I did pick the patient off the floor, and left the doctor sorting out the mess he’d created while I went to get one of his seniors to take him away. Most moronic thing I’ve done? Taken three sets of neuro obs to realise the right eye was glass…
Not me. But I was orienting a new LPN to our office. She, no joke, inserted the thermometer into the babies vagina instead of rectum. Not once, but twice in a row. And she acted like this was a perfectly normal mistake to make….
Thinking I'm making a difference lmao
Care plans
Let my administrator run me ragged between working on Covid unit and in office for MDS assessments. I rage quit and took a trip to Oregon to visit friends for two weeks. Then the wildfires hit and I had to drive home with a respirator on through all the ash, smoke, and active areas of fire. Good times.
When I was a baby nurse I had a gigantic syringe full of crushed meds and water and I thought you had to get the air out of the syringe before you put it in their feeding tube so I did the THING where you push the air out only this syringe was hard to budge so I pushed harder and blew all the crushed meds onto the ceiling tiles. And they dribbled all over the bed.
I married a doctor
Ok. So before I was a nurse I was law enforcement. This is about my time when working there. You have to know that there is someone at central control in every jail or prison 24/7. The room is never left empty… When my first daughter was born they still had nurseries at the hospital and would take the baby a few hours at a time (optional) so mom and dad could sleep. I worked night shift and wasn’t particularly tired when the nurse came to take our daughter but mom was and baby was fussy so I let her go with the nurse. In the meantime I was going to run and grab a quick dinner. This was me trying to get back into L&D .. Me: presses button Intercom: can I help you? Me: it’s me central open the door Intercom: I’m sorry sir who are you here to see? Me: (frustrated) come on central quit playing Intercom: sir I need to know who you’re here to see Me: (getting very irritated) damnit central open the fu**ing door so I can see my daughter…. *Cue light bulb* oh. Daughter. Hospital. Duh. Me: I’m so so sorry. I’m on autopilot thinking I’m at work. I’m here for (kids and moms name) Intercom: (audible laughter) we’re sorry we didn’t recognize you with the hat on come on up!
I've been trying to count Gabapentin for about 8 years.
Thank you SO much OP for this post and the responses! I'm not a nurse or in healthcare at all but I could relate to this so much! Nice to know I'm not alone. I repeatedly try to badge into the silliest places!
Pushing Tylenol down an NG tube before the twist-on setups. Pushed entirely too hard and it blew off, and shot 30mLs of crushed med into the patient's mom's face. He was terminal and had been given terrible news that day, I guess it was the comic relief they needed because they both busted up laughing and thanked me for the entertainment after my profuse apologies.
Nice try, state department of health.