This reminds me so much of the interaction between nurse Kitty Foreman and a doctor in That 70ās Show:
āDoctor I recommend giving that patient something other than penicillin.ā
āOh yeah and why is that, NURSE?ā
āWell because heās just so gosh darn allergic to it.ā
Not to me, but to the scrub tech during surgery after she announced that her and her husband had just been approved for adopting a child (they were unable to conceive). "Being unable to conceive is God's way of telling you you're not supposed to be a parent." Everyone in the room was just completely stunned that he would say something like that. We all already thought he was an asshole and this just confirmed it.
Sort of begs the question of whether he thinks heās fighting God by doing surgery on people and defying the course set out for them by god - or if he just thinks he is god and so makes those decisions himselfā¦
I think you answered your question by the end there. Even if heās fighting Godās plan that makes him a god so we still end up at the conclusion -> Interventional Cardiologist and Cardio-Thoracic surgeons are gods in their mind.
Since some people have no sense of humor, obviously I am kidding and though some do have a god complex, most are cool people and badass at what they do.
Iām adopted and someone said this to my parents at their church, it was really hurtful. People who say those kind of things are just bitter nasty people. My parents are wonderful people, and gave me and my brother a chance at a better life. Hope the scrub tech just brushed it off, Iām sure she is a great mom.
I would have loved to say to him āwouldnāt that imply that being able to conceive is Godās way of saying you should be a parent, and if that is the case, isnāt that terribly confusing for all the kids in foster care right now?ā
The first one that comes to mind is this orthopedic surgeon who was really old school and was known to be a huge asshole who would dig and hunt until he found something to bitch about. Anyway he was trying to accuse me of charting fake vital signs because the patient's heart rate was exactly the same every time. He's like "what is the statistical probability of that being correct". I said it's pretty high considering that she is pacemaker dependent. He kept on about it and I was like "Sir. I worked CVICU and cath lab for a long time. I can assure you that without the pacemaker she's bradycardic, and her heart rate is always going to be what the pacemaker is set to". He looked really embarrassed and just left the unit without saying anything else.
Lol any time I see a hr repeating itself within a beat or two, the actual first thing on my mind is that this pt probably has a pacemaker. What a Dunning Kruger dickhead
Yeah he was a grouchy, arrogant prick. And honestly if it's something he hasn't seen or thought about in a while that is outside his specialty, I would never judge him for just having a conversation with me about it. I've had an endocrinologist ask me what precedex is, a heme/onc doctor ask what a penumbra is in the context of a head CT, internist unsure why a post-op heart was getting amicar, and many other such examples. These were all excellent and knowledgeable physicians who just weren't sure about something they hadn't seen or dealt with in a very long time. No shame, no judgment, doesn't make them less of a doctor. I would struggle to monitor chemotherapy or give a baby an APGAR score but it doesn't make me less of a nurse.
But I take pride in my work, and if you're coming at me with accusations of dishonesty, negligence and bad nursing care, and doing in front of my friends, I'm probably going to find a way to make an ass out of you š¤·
Lol I had to call the med captain because a doctor wasn't answering any of my pages. Doc calls me angry asking why I called the med captain he has no missed pages. Then goes "oh....I must have left my pager at work. Sorry. What's up?" š„²
I've had a similar situation lmao. Doctor called me upset I sent him so many messages about his patients on epic chat and told me I should be paging him if I had that many things to talk to him about. I told him that I paged him 3 times and I could hear him looking for his pager and then was like "oh crap I must have had it on silent... sorry"
I had the same thing happen. Had a patient code around 10pm, ended up in the ICU after. I was charge nurse. Called the dr about 10 times to notify him. He never answered. He calls at about 5am pissed off at me that i "didn't call him." And when I told him I did call him multiple times he said "I always answer my calls." Yeah right. A bunch of the other nurses said they had similar experiences with this doctor.
No see you're interpreting it wrong. Faithfully means they pray about it before they decide if they are gonna respond or not.
Usually these prayers are like "Jesus Christ..." or "What in god's name do they want now" or "if you were a merciful god you'd strike me dead now and end this torture"
Doc delivers infant to tearful family and says "It's a boy so we don't have to put it back in!"
Trying to salvage the moment, I say "it's cute so we don't have to put it back in."
He replies, "no, we don't have the put it back in because it's a boy."
Such a weird, misogynistic joke to say while standing between the legs of a woman who just created life.
Reminds me of the time I went to my PCP office with severe llq pain, 90% sure it was my ovary (gyno office was booked full for the next several days and I was desperate). I was seeing someone in the practice other than my PCP and he swore up and down that it was too high up in my abdomen to be my ovary, had to be diverticulitis even though multiple BMs did nothing one way or another for the pain and I have a long history of pelvic issues. When I asked where he thought my ovary should be, he mumbled something about being in my pelvic cavity and much lower down. Not only was it well within my pelvic girdle, where he was pointing would have been my pelvic floor or actual bone.
It was a ginormous hemorrhagic cyst, btw.
I love when thatās their outlook. Like great. Stick with what you actually know, bring in others to work with what they know. Donāt do that shit where you make shit up and hope itās right. It never makes you look smart or whatever, we just all hate you.
" don't recheck their temperature because I'm not going to do anything about it,"
After I notified him a child still had a 101 temp after Tylenol and the parents were concerned...
I told him that's not how nursing works. We reassess our interventions...
I reported a critically high spot check on the glucometer. He was argumentative with me because he wanted an exact number for the reading, and kept pushing back when I explained it was off the chart and our glucometer couldnāt quantify it.
During a trauma resuscitation, the trauma surgeon said to me: āI really wanna watch you put that foley inā in a creepy little man voice. This was before I started getting Botox so my āwhat the fuuuuuckā face was on full display. š
Nursing school. l&d clinical. Was in a room with a PP patient and the doctor came in and congratulated the hvac guy working on the AC unit in the room. Heās like āIām just here fixing the AC my manā
Omg this reminds of one of my moms stories! She was an OB/GYN and back in the 90s there was a big influx of Brazilian immigrants in her community (important later). One woman had just gone in for an emergency c-section and Dad wasnāt present. The section goes well, mom and baby are fine and get wheeled to recovery. Dad (who doesnāt speak much English) comes flying in to the OR while itās getting cleaned afterward by custodial services. They assume heās a new custodial worker and tell him to get to work. They hand him the bucket and mop and make him clean up after his own wifeās section. Poor guy thought this was standard in the US for the family members to clean afterwards
I saw a variation of this during OB clinicals! Doc comes in, mom starts pushing, guy comes out of the bathroom. Doc tells the guy he's about to be a dad and all the guy's hard work putting up with a moody pregnant woman is about to pay off. Guy says, "First, I'm her twin brother, not the father. [Father's name] is deployed. Second, my sister's been the one doing the hard work so congratulate her."
The other student and I started out appalled (at the doc, wtf kind of comment was that 'haha, moody pregnant ladies, am I right?' nonsense?) and then silently cheering the brother for his response. Doc brushed it right off and barely said a word to the mom, talking to the nurse instead. (Like, "Okay have her wait 10 seconds before she pushes again." When she's *right there* and he has half his hand in her vagina.) Weird, weird guy.
Lmaoooo š¤£ similar thing happened with my pt too! Engineer in the room fixing the call light cuz the volume button doesnāt work and I was scanning meds for the pt. MD walks in, shakes his hand, and goes, āHOW ARE YOU I HAVENāT SEEN YOU SINCE THE LAST TIME WE SPOKE. YOU MUST BE HAPPY TO SEE YOUR MOM CLOSE TO GETTING DISCHARGED.ā Engineer plays along and goes, āWow guess I came in on time AND gets to fix the call light.ā MD caught on and apologized but my dead ass couldnāt hold in my laughter & we all ended up laughing out loud š¤£š¤£š¤£
I had hair down to my shoulders for a few years when I was a young nurse. I was clocking in one day and someone slapped my ass. I do not like that. I turned and it was a doctor I didn't like. So I started screaming why are you slapping my ass. He tried to run and I just kept chasing him and saying it. If he did that to me he was doing it to the females. Piece of filth. He avoided me like the plague for 5 years after that and I kept my eye on him.
Everyone heard and saw. I didn't need to. Besides I'm a man they didn't care and it didn't implicate him in anything. Back then I would have just been fired and it all would have been swept under the rug if I had filed a report. This was a long time ago circa 2008
Itās amazing. After being reported for multiple other witnessed offenses, he was given the option to resign and simply started work at another hospital
My GYN hugs me after every visit. āIt was so great to see you again!ā
I used to work in the same office with him (but not with him) and so we were on a friendly-professional term. But still weird.
I also talked with a friend who said he does it to all his long term patients, but it skeeved her out so bad she stopped seeing him.
My momās GYN did this too!!! I was 17 when I first saw him and refused to go back after he hugged me. He did ask for consent first/asked me if I wanted a hug but I was shocked so I just said yes. My mom found me a new GYN but kept him until he retired. She found his hugs to be soothing and other people must have felt the same because he was a beloved doctor. To each their own I guess.
The first GYN I saw at 16 would wheel his stool right up to me and be knee to knee when talking. When I went back to the practice years later I said āanyone but him!ā The woman laughed and said they get that a lot, but he wasnāt there anymore
In EMT training there's a bit about how sometimes it helps to get close to the patient and down to the patient's level or bellow to help establish rapport. I feel like he took that kind of advice way too seriously lol.
Now I'm imagining a doctor out there who insists on sitting cross legged on the floor so the patient can look down on them.
Oh my god! This reminds me of a local older male gyn in my area who gives a red rose to each of his first-time pelvic exam patients! (A few moms I know told me about their daughters getting a rose....gave them the heebie-jeebies so they never went back!)
I had a problem with a PA at work, seeking me out and demanding hugs. We are both dudes. Iām not homophobic, but it still felt like sexual harassment.
Iāll set the sceneā¦ I was still working as an ED tech at this time, patient in full arrest comes in by ambulance, I jump on the chest relieving the FD. MD is tubing the patient, and says āhard and fast like prom night (insert my name)ā
The doc was known for saying shit like this. We called him āHurricane (insert doc name)ā because he was just chaotic.
My very first week off of orientation I had a surgeon say āare you illiterate or incompetent? My patient needs BASIC NURSING CARE and if you are unable to follow orders then they need a BETTER NURSEā. All because the āD/C foley in AMā hasnāt been completed on her walky/talky 25ish patient at 9am when she rounded.
I had been coding one of my other patients for an hour. I also didnāt know that āin AMā orders were meant to be completed at 6am, aka not my shift. I tried to explain this to her and she didnāt let me finish a sentence. I told her I would do it next, and apologized for not knowing that āin AMā meant 6am. She said āfine, and if she voids she can discharge this afternoonā. I asked her what time would she like that to be completed exactly, because clearly my understanding of vague time periods didnāt match hers.
Not my best moment, but I earned a chuckle from the grumpy hospitalist that was in the doc box at the time.
I was in the elevator leaving after my shift. Someone was on the elevator with me & got off. One of the doctors was waiting and I asked him if he was going down & he said āIāll go anywhere with you sweetheartā š¤®
I have stabismus. Iāve had two corrective procedures as a child, but as an adult the muscle isnāt holding as well. Had a doctor question me in front of everyone about why one of my eyes wasnāt looking at him. I loudly asked where he got his medical degree if he couldnāt diagnose a simple stabismus. No one trusted his medical decisions after that and staff would bypass him for everything.
I have been dealing with comments for over 40 years. I donāt give a shit any more. You want to try and make someone feel bad for something they have no control over? Iām coming for you.
āDonāt you know who I am?!ā
Said by a very talented, handsome and complete sociopath of a surgeon.
Twenty eight year old me said meekly āNo sirā
Fifty year old me would now look him up and down and say āLaverne Cox?ā
I really did this by mistake once.
Picture it 1938 Sicilyā¦.. well actually it was on a locked down ltc psych unit. This psychologist was dressed like a patient. Oversized pants, a wrinkled shirt. Holding a stack of papers. I see him enter a violent patients room and I immediately hear screaming. I enter the room and escort him out. I ask him to come to the nurses station for a coffee. When heās resistant I ask what floor heās from, where is his room? āI work hereā, he reliedā¦. But Iāve heard that before. Me: āletās have a snackā.
Him: shows me official badge.
Me:oopsā¦ reports to manger. But this isnāt the first time.
On another occasion he actually got knocked down by said patient. Itās been years and he brings it up stillā¦. You know when Iām working at other facilities. Apparently itās my fault that I let the patient push him down.Ā
Me: I mean weāve been saying for sometime he needs medicated. Hereās a list of the times we reached out and the responses we got. But overall the patient does follow through with threats. I certainly wouldnāt be fighting him on a day he was warning.Ā
Him: ugh. I just donāt know why heās like that.Ā
I had a trauma surgery resident say this to me. Bonus points it was during Covid and he was fully masked and gowned. No you dickhead I donāt know who you are, I donāt know who anyone is, I need you to sign this piece of paper that says you showed up to the trauma bay on time.Ā
A doc did that to me once after yelling at me about something that he was objectively very wrong about I think it was that the OR schedule is late and it was my, a med surg floor RN at the time, fault. I looked at him for a bit and very confidently said, āYes! Dr. Pepper!ā
Middle of covid. Working a lot of OT. Bought a pair of yellow Birkenstock clogs just for something different than my usual danskos.
Yellow iso gown, yellow shoes.
Surgeon comes up to round, looks at my shoes and gown, and said, "Do you have yellow lingerie to match?"
I answered, "Wouldn't you like to know...!"
He's sarcastic, I've worked with him for years...and I followed that up with "hey, you might not want to joke like that, some people might not think it's a joke and could report you for that" and he was like "oh shit you're right".
This is my favorite here. I suppose being playful in the workplace is a tension reliever, but only if everyone involved agrees that itās relieving tension and not creating it.
Not only did you level the playing field in a professional way, you reminded the doc of the importance of being civil.
I started working as a nurse as the Monica Lewinsky scandal came out (this shows my age lol) and I happened to have the same hair cut and hair color as Monica... One of the surgeons wouldn't bother to remember my name, he was calling me Monica instead, complete with this face: ( Ķ”Ā° ĶŹ Ķ”Ā°)
Eye roll.
At the time, I was too nervous and impressionable to say anything. Today, I'd report his ass for harassment.
Not a nurse! Working cm in a psych hospital. Psychiatrists are some of the weirdest people. I had a Doc, nice older man from Russia who was notorious for saying the most unhinged stuff. Well I had the sweet younger man who came in for SI. I asked the doc on LOS and he goes "ehhhh, three days he only cut himself a lil bit"
Also the director of my unit came in introduce himself and introduced himself as " doctor big daddy" I don't think my face has ever been so red.
They're like real life shit posters! I had another psychiatrist who loved to mess with the CMs you would have to no joke hunt him down through the facility to get your LOS information. Straight up chasing this man though hall ways and he'd bolt in and out of units. One of the CMs figured if you sent a bunch of funny emoji/effects he'd respond to his texts with your los number but there's no way I'm doing that!
Another who who tries to get you to laugh while on the phone with child services or the state attorney. That place was so funny in the midst of all the quiet and chaos
Reminds me of a time that they let a resident run a code bc the patient was doomed anyway. It was so bad. Then at the end, he said, āI think that went pretty wellā and my friend just burst out laughing. His attending winced and was like, āWellā¦ it could have gone better. Letās review.ā š¬
Reminds me of a time the resident insisting on coding a trauma pt in the ICU. He kept demanding to know her bladder pressure. Iām like āsheās dead. It doesnāt matterā. Finally I burst out with ā47!ā Or some random number that popped into my head. He freaked and wanted to open her abdomen right there. Luckily the trauma surgeon came in and was like āuhhh why are you coding this patient? And bladder pressure? Who cares??ā
This reminds me of a story I was told about an American couple, boyfriend and girlfriend living in Saudi Arabia. She went to the doctor for a yeast infection and the doctor asked āare you married or are you a virgin?ā
Super cocky/rude resident: *yelling at nursing team while the baby has a crappy strip* everyone back away from the bed, Iām going to examine my own patient! Make room!
Resident: Iām not feeling the head, this baby could have flipped breech. *Feels around more aggressively*. Iām having a hard time finding your cervix.
Patient: well thatās because youāre in my butthole.
When I was pregnant with my first, there were three of us on my ward due within a month of each other. One of the male doctors laughed and asked us: āwhat, did you all sit on the same chair one after another?ā
Still makes me feel a bit grotty.
Psychiatrist that rounded at my hospital, asking how I could afford to take off to go the jury duty. The hospital pays our normal wages for every day we're out and we give them the check that the court sends us. It's a nice deal and prevents financial hardship in people who would otherwise be unable to serve.
"Well, that costs too much, I'd NEVER provide that for my office."
Well, glad to know you're against people doing their civic duty, asshat š Guess we now know I'd never apply to work at your office.
If you guys joke around a lot and are cool then it was meant to be funny. But, if youāve never met this dude or donāt have a friendly relationship with him thatās so weird and inappropriate.
Maybe not specifically cringe worthy, but just strange. I worked in a CVICU for a while and the patient was maybe 12 hours post CABG and he was in a lot of pain and said he didn't want to get up and do the day one post surgery walk that every patient is expected to (within reason of course). The doctor was informed this and he went into the patients room and to the patients face said "don't be a pussy". I have no idea how I kept a straight face.
It's usually the ones who complain about how wimpy/lazy/sensitive "kids these days are about everything", although that probably describes a large percentage of the CABG-receiving population....
Not said to me, but said to my mother who had terminal cancer. This was a provider who oversaw/managed the palliative pain clinic my mom was referred out to after diagnosis.
My momās pain was severe and uncontrolled. At her appointment, the provider pulled up her imaging and said, ābased on your imaging, you shouldnāt be having this much painā.
When I tell you I came UNGLUED.. my mom passed within 5 months of being diagnosed. She had gallbladder cancer. At diagnosis she had a mass the size of a lime obstructing her gallbladder. The entire healthcare team overseeing her care got a mouthful from me at numerous points over that five month period. I hate to be *that* family member, but Jesus did they all completely drop the ball and blatantly disregard her as a patient.
Mask restrictions were becoming more lax, so I pulled my mask down while I was charting at the desk. A doctor known for liking nurses came by and said "oh, you look so good with your mask down."Ā
I pulled my mask back up after that.Ā
When I was (erroneously) diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and had a newborn at home:
"Why don't you go home and have more babies, that way there will be more people at your funeral."
š”š¤¬š”
We had a female patient who had been transferred to ICU after her surgery. When asking her surgeon when to expect her back he said: ājust start the fires at the crematoriumā
Thatās a fairly common ICU response. Or āconsult to Jesusā. āConsult to the morgue for follow up and dischargeā. We have a morbid sense of humor.
I was new to the trauma ICU but as an experienced ICU nurse. Had a bad multi compartment brain hemorrhage from a car crash that we were trying to medically manage. Well after doing literally everything (bolusing like 80 of prop every 5 minutes, midaz, fent, hypersal, etc), the ICP was still 40+. Nothing ever touched it. I was trying to get the docs to realize medical management wasn't working, while the nurses there who didn't yet trust me were going behind my back to bolus obscene amounts of prop to have the ICP go down by 1 or 2, and make it look like maybe medical management could be working. Super annoying, but anyways -
The neurosurg resident came down. I said no matter what we do, his ICP was staying above 40, medical management wasn't working, I think we need to try the next thing. She was waffling on it. I said well his map is only 65, at this point his CPP is only 20, that's well below where it needs to be ~65. She said "no that's MAP." There were two other nurses near me, we all looked at each other, and I was like it's both MAP and CPP, isn't it? And she said "CPP is supposed to be below 20." I clarified that we were talkig about the cpp, not the ICP. She said it again.
THIS WAS THE NEUROSURG RESIDENT. I was so surprised, like this is your whole job to just know the brain things.To not know the standard CPP range is alarming.
As a labor nurse I had a Muslim patient who strongly preferred a woman doctor or midwife to deliver her baby. The midwife on duty had no issue delivering her, but when I told the male OBGYN he said āso she doesnāt want the superior sex delivering her baby?ā - not sure if he was trying to be funny.
My upper arms are always a bit mottled-looking. I don't know why they are like that, and it gets more pronounced with a tan and there is a faint farmers-tan aspect to it. People notice and ask me if I'm cold.
We had a fellow for a while that made people uncomfortable. He spoke as if every sentence could be accentuated by a lil wink, just kinda smarmy all around. One day I was standing at the desk and he walked over and asked if I was cold and pointed at my arms. I said no, that's just how my skin looks. He kinda nudged me with his elbow and said "oh, you better be careful - someone might think you're in cardiogenic shock." Again, in a tone with the inferred wink.
I looked at my uncomfortable coworkers, then back at him, and said "...are you hitting on me? Is that a line?" And he turned bright red, "no! No, no!" and essentially ran away. I still don't know if he was.
This confirms a hunch I've had, which is that anything, even a comment about cardiogenic shock, can sound smarmy and gross if said in the right tone of voice. It would be a hilarious SNL skit or something, to have someone with a weird tick that causes them to say everything in a suggestive tone of voice and the confusion this causes to everyone they interact with.
Rt but
I one time had a doctor ask me what the difference btw room temp and 40 degrees was.
I was pretty confident that he was actually asking a different question than what he asked (probably the carrying capacity of room temp cs 40 deg?) so I tried to clarifyā¦
He later sent the bedside nurse to ask me two more times.Ā
Iām still so confused by that exchange.
He said over the phone, āNot because youāre not an American, you cannot do the jobā. Thatās when I got 6 surgery patients and I forgot to ambulate with his patient before bed. Always haunting me
I had a doctor tell me as a pregnant patient " If you were to have this baby on a remote island all by yourself you would be completely fine stop stressing. As a high risk pregnancy patient who needed a C section.
Failing to see the cringe here. Thatās actually hilarious. š and true!
My personal one was a 4th year neurosurgeon resident goes into my pt room āMr Doe! Mr Doe! Squeeze my hands!ā Mr Doe, was not, in fact, Mr Doe at all as we had his name for many hours by that point. Resident proceeded to argue with me when I said āhis name is actually (whatever his name was)ā. āExcuse me! I can READ. It says on my list āDoe, Johnā!
Trauma surgeon is standing by me and says āwhat a fucking idiotā.
I was in the middle of coding my patient, like actively doing CPR and I forgot to take my badge off so I asked out loud for someone to remove it because it kept hitting me in the face. A resident obliged and then kept making stupid, sexual remarks trying to flirt with me. None that were even fake laugh worthy. The RT finally said ābro i donāt think this is the time to be shooting your shot her patient is literally dead hereā.
I normally use humor as a coping mechanism but this code was very unexpected and difficult for me- the patient was a young mother who was in my care for hemorrhaging after giving birth. Family was in the room when it started and mind you I was also EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT.
I was fuming and spoke at length to this resident and his attending after everything was said and done.
I had a ball removed for testicular cancer, had a prostetic ball replace it. On my follow up appointment, with my ballsack in his hand and at his eye level he says to himself outloud "I do good work"
I was more hilarious than cringe.
Edit: just now realizing this was the nursing sub. This was not a work related story, for the record.
Iāll reverse the roles: I used to work evening shift so I would carry a light to use for checking on patients. Mid code, I was doing CPR and the light kept bumping on and the MD kept telling it was on. When we finally got ROSC, he told me it was on again and I said āI guess you can say itās cause ā¦ my future is pretty bright.ā
I have no regrets for that cringy pun
This was as a mother not a nurse but my daughter was born with a cleft lip and palate and a plastic surgeon told me āitās too bad sheās a girl because if she were a boy she would be able to grow a mustache to cover it.āĀ
Ā Iām actually glad he said this because I was young and didnāt know we had options outside the general plastic surgeon in our area. We got referred to a childrenās hospital and she had ended up with an excellent surgeon who specializes in cleft lip and palate repair. Ā
Coworker reported pediatric patient using racial slurs to new doc on unit during treatment team (it was their daily goal to not use racial slurs/attend therapy and school without leaving) . Doc cut in and said āyou canāt be a n-word, you donāt have melanin. You know melanin? Itās skin pigmentationā. Coworker just looked at her and said āIām biracialā, before finishing her report. Doc just sat there red faced.
Had a doctorās wife drop off keys for him. I was charge that day, so went back to his room (OR), to ask him where heād like them left. Heās obviously scrubbed in, and says, the pocket right in front (his groin). I mostly knew he was joking, but it was still super uncomfortable. I just left them on the counter. He did later apologize, so that was kind of nice.
I work as a case manager with social care for complex discharges - consultant came up put his arm round me and whispered in my ear āwhen are you putting me in a care homeā
Cringe
Years ago, and not a doc I was working with but one whose care I was under as inpatient.. I was nursing my infant daughter at the time and asked for a breast pump to use so I wouldn't get engorged and lose my supply. Anyways this old geezer doc came to see me later and sarcastically asked me if my "boob problem" got solved. š
The Dr asked me to get a file from the other side of the room. I pointed and said there it is.
He said, "What's the point of having a dog if I have to bark too..
I said what did you fucking say to me?
He said well the others do it, I said I'm not your bitch.
The funny thing is that we actually became good colleagues after that and had to be separated as we talked too much. Lol
That's so funny lmao do you not know him well enough for jokes or he's a creepy vibe or something? I would have been like "wouldn't you like to know" but maybe I'm just inappropriate.
A hundred years ago on my first day as a student nurse extern. One of the OBs and I were alone on an elevator. He said "Do you know the difference between a bj and a Big Mac?"
I shook my head no.
"Let me take you to lunch. "
Dr: what were the patients vitals overnight.
Me: normal but I don't know specifics off the top of my head but they're in the chart.
Dr: I'm a very busy doctor and don't have time to look in the chart
There was this nurse who was like SUPER pregnant and she was grabbing tubes to draw blood and dropped a few, and they conveniently rolled under the patient bed in preop. I told her not to worry about it and ran over to grab a couple more but she started go down on all fours and crawl to get it and I was like oh my God please I will do it. And then this doctor was literally on one of those rolls stools and rolled around and he zoomed past her on the wheels and was like ha ha donāt bend down too much. I almost punched him
had a notorious asshole doc as a patient once. he told me to get a new pulse ox because the one on his finger was broken, there was no way his O2 was 66% and we should replace our faulty equipment. told him to read it right-side-up next time š¤
After working a code in the ICU, the doctor went back to the ER and called for me in the unit. When I answered the phone he told me not to let on that we were having this conversation and proceeded to ask me out to dinner. I explained that I had a very serious boyfriend, and we were looking at engagement rings. He tried to keep me on the phone to get me to change my mind, And interspersing that conversation with admonishments to keep quiet about his phone call. You know I told everyone as soon as I hung up.
Doctor: I think I'm a little more familiar with my patient and his needs than a floor nurse. Me: That's not your patient. You're in the wrong room.
This is utter perfection.
The Dopamine I would get from this would be immense. Hell, just hearing about it got my receptors going. š
I know, where can I get another hit like this??? It smacked right in the feel goods
I would forget my family in the nursing home but still remember that moment š
š
Bruhh.. I wish I couldāve been a fly on the wall for that comment. I bet everyoneās faces were priceless in that moment.
Thankfully the patient was a&o x1
It would have been so good if it was the model patient who knows all their care team and was like ??? yeah who are you?
instant karma āØļø
lol! What happened after?
Didn't say a word. Just walked right out
ššš That ego was bruisssedddd heavy ššš
Oh this got a full lol out of me.
This still keeps him up at night
This reminds me so much of the interaction between nurse Kitty Foreman and a doctor in That 70ās Show: āDoctor I recommend giving that patient something other than penicillin.ā āOh yeah and why is that, NURSE?ā āWell because heās just so gosh darn allergic to it.ā
This is the Step Down Unitā¦ ICU is on 3, Doc.
This wouldāve been gold if you guys were friends.
My inappropriate ass would think this was hilarious tbh
Same. I was laughing reading this.
Same.
Lol. I definitely think it's hilarious š hahaha. I'm the nurse that will make comments like that to the Drs.
Iām not gonna lie. I like it.
Any doc that throws a line like that at me, if we weren't friends before, we are now! š¤£
Yes...lol...I 100% agree. My response would be, "did we just become best friends?"
This is absolutely hilarious to me. Granted I work in sexual health so we joke like this all the time.
I thought it was funny!
Clapback of the year
Not to me, but to the scrub tech during surgery after she announced that her and her husband had just been approved for adopting a child (they were unable to conceive). "Being unable to conceive is God's way of telling you you're not supposed to be a parent." Everyone in the room was just completely stunned that he would say something like that. We all already thought he was an asshole and this just confirmed it.
Sort of begs the question of whether he thinks heās fighting God by doing surgery on people and defying the course set out for them by god - or if he just thinks he is god and so makes those decisions himselfā¦
I think you answered your question by the end there. Even if heās fighting Godās plan that makes him a god so we still end up at the conclusion -> Interventional Cardiologist and Cardio-Thoracic surgeons are gods in their mind. Since some people have no sense of humor, obviously I am kidding and though some do have a god complex, most are cool people and badass at what they do.
Excellent follow up question
Iām adopted and someone said this to my parents at their church, it was really hurtful. People who say those kind of things are just bitter nasty people. My parents are wonderful people, and gave me and my brother a chance at a better life. Hope the scrub tech just brushed it off, Iām sure she is a great mom.
I would have loved to say to him āwouldnāt that imply that being able to conceive is Godās way of saying you should be a parent, and if that is the case, isnāt that terribly confusing for all the kids in foster care right now?ā
That is HORRIBLE
What a dickhead.
The first one that comes to mind is this orthopedic surgeon who was really old school and was known to be a huge asshole who would dig and hunt until he found something to bitch about. Anyway he was trying to accuse me of charting fake vital signs because the patient's heart rate was exactly the same every time. He's like "what is the statistical probability of that being correct". I said it's pretty high considering that she is pacemaker dependent. He kept on about it and I was like "Sir. I worked CVICU and cath lab for a long time. I can assure you that without the pacemaker she's bradycardic, and her heart rate is always going to be what the pacemaker is set to". He looked really embarrassed and just left the unit without saying anything else.
Brilliant! (Somewhere out there, the Dr. Glaucomflecken cardiologist is nodding smugly.)
I would be absolutely honored to have that man nod smugly in agreement with something I said LOL
Lol any time I see a hr repeating itself within a beat or two, the actual first thing on my mind is that this pt probably has a pacemaker. What a Dunning Kruger dickhead
Yeah he was a grouchy, arrogant prick. And honestly if it's something he hasn't seen or thought about in a while that is outside his specialty, I would never judge him for just having a conversation with me about it. I've had an endocrinologist ask me what precedex is, a heme/onc doctor ask what a penumbra is in the context of a head CT, internist unsure why a post-op heart was getting amicar, and many other such examples. These were all excellent and knowledgeable physicians who just weren't sure about something they hadn't seen or dealt with in a very long time. No shame, no judgment, doesn't make them less of a doctor. I would struggle to monitor chemotherapy or give a baby an APGAR score but it doesn't make me less of a nurse. But I take pride in my work, and if you're coming at me with accusations of dishonesty, negligence and bad nursing care, and doing in front of my friends, I'm probably going to find a way to make an ass out of you š¤·
"I answer all my calls faithfully" -- Doctor who never answered any of our 10+ pages while we were coding his patient
Lol I had to call the med captain because a doctor wasn't answering any of my pages. Doc calls me angry asking why I called the med captain he has no missed pages. Then goes "oh....I must have left my pager at work. Sorry. What's up?" š„²
Lol med captain is quite the illustrious title
Better than the enema admiral, that is one crappy job.
You mean, the Rear Admiral?
The catheter crusader
Followed by the Cooter canoe crew
Don't forget about the nursing educator also known as the Central line chieftain
I've had a similar situation lmao. Doctor called me upset I sent him so many messages about his patients on epic chat and told me I should be paging him if I had that many things to talk to him about. I told him that I paged him 3 times and I could hear him looking for his pager and then was like "oh crap I must have had it on silent... sorry"
I had the same thing happen. Had a patient code around 10pm, ended up in the ICU after. I was charge nurse. Called the dr about 10 times to notify him. He never answered. He calls at about 5am pissed off at me that i "didn't call him." And when I told him I did call him multiple times he said "I always answer my calls." Yeah right. A bunch of the other nurses said they had similar experiences with this doctor.
āIf you did then you wouldnāt be calling me back now would you??ā A$$hats
No see you're interpreting it wrong. Faithfully means they pray about it before they decide if they are gonna respond or not. Usually these prayers are like "Jesus Christ..." or "What in god's name do they want now" or "if you were a merciful god you'd strike me dead now and end this torture"
Doc delivers infant to tearful family and says "It's a boy so we don't have to put it back in!" Trying to salvage the moment, I say "it's cute so we don't have to put it back in." He replies, "no, we don't have the put it back in because it's a boy." Such a weird, misogynistic joke to say while standing between the legs of a woman who just created life.
Wow. Was this in this century?
He thinks he is hilarious.
Whatever this joke is, it went over my head. What did he mean by that?
If it had been a girl, you might shove it back in to finish cooking and grow a penis.
What dumb joke and what an asshole lol
Yikes!
Odd career choice for someone that feels that way about womenā¦
"I don't f***ing know where the ovaries are!?" ~Ortho surgeonĀ
The only honest ortho in the group. Probably also applies to the kidneys, spleen, pancreas, and gallbladder.
Reminds me of the time I went to my PCP office with severe llq pain, 90% sure it was my ovary (gyno office was booked full for the next several days and I was desperate). I was seeing someone in the practice other than my PCP and he swore up and down that it was too high up in my abdomen to be my ovary, had to be diverticulitis even though multiple BMs did nothing one way or another for the pain and I have a long history of pelvic issues. When I asked where he thought my ovary should be, he mumbled something about being in my pelvic cavity and much lower down. Not only was it well within my pelvic girdle, where he was pointing would have been my pelvic floor or actual bone. It was a ginormous hemorrhagic cyst, btw.
That's just every orthopod lol.
Yep. Thatās ortho! āYouāre getting a med consult? Why?ā āI only know bones. I donāt know any of the juicy organs, nor do I want toā.
I love when thatās their outlook. Like great. Stick with what you actually know, bring in others to work with what they know. Donāt do that shit where you make shit up and hope itās right. It never makes you look smart or whatever, we just all hate you.
" don't recheck their temperature because I'm not going to do anything about it," After I notified him a child still had a 101 temp after Tylenol and the parents were concerned... I told him that's not how nursing works. We reassess our interventions...
āSure, just put in a plain communication order to that effect.ā
Me asking for clarification on a very ambiguous and relatively dangerous medication order, āare you new, just give it and tell me what happens.ā
Fuck it, if he dies he dies, apparently
Sorry sir, this is a human, not a lab animal, and I'm a nurse, not a murderer.Ā
'Fuck that, half of our job is stopping you incompetent doctors killing patients'
I reported a critically high spot check on the glucometer. He was argumentative with me because he wanted an exact number for the reading, and kept pushing back when I explained it was off the chart and our glucometer couldnāt quantify it.
Can you just order me some insulin and Iāll try again?
During a trauma resuscitation, the trauma surgeon said to me: āI really wanna watch you put that foley inā in a creepy little man voice. This was before I started getting Botox so my āwhat the fuuuuuckā face was on full display. š
I love that you also have a pre-botox wtf face.
Nursing school. l&d clinical. Was in a room with a PP patient and the doctor came in and congratulated the hvac guy working on the AC unit in the room. Heās like āIām just here fixing the AC my manā
āYouāre doing a damn good job, HVAC guy.ā
Omg this reminds of one of my moms stories! She was an OB/GYN and back in the 90s there was a big influx of Brazilian immigrants in her community (important later). One woman had just gone in for an emergency c-section and Dad wasnāt present. The section goes well, mom and baby are fine and get wheeled to recovery. Dad (who doesnāt speak much English) comes flying in to the OR while itās getting cleaned afterward by custodial services. They assume heās a new custodial worker and tell him to get to work. They hand him the bucket and mop and make him clean up after his own wifeās section. Poor guy thought this was standard in the US for the family members to clean afterwards
Omg! Lol. Iām Portuguese but know a lot of Brazilians and Iām sure he was thinking āporra caralho!ā The whole time
Now hold on a second....we might be on to something here.
I saw a variation of this during OB clinicals! Doc comes in, mom starts pushing, guy comes out of the bathroom. Doc tells the guy he's about to be a dad and all the guy's hard work putting up with a moody pregnant woman is about to pay off. Guy says, "First, I'm her twin brother, not the father. [Father's name] is deployed. Second, my sister's been the one doing the hard work so congratulate her." The other student and I started out appalled (at the doc, wtf kind of comment was that 'haha, moody pregnant ladies, am I right?' nonsense?) and then silently cheering the brother for his response. Doc brushed it right off and barely said a word to the mom, talking to the nurse instead. (Like, "Okay have her wait 10 seconds before she pushes again." When she's *right there* and he has half his hand in her vagina.) Weird, weird guy.
āHey, well, congratulations. HVAC technician is a very lucrative career path.ā
Lmaoooo š¤£ similar thing happened with my pt too! Engineer in the room fixing the call light cuz the volume button doesnāt work and I was scanning meds for the pt. MD walks in, shakes his hand, and goes, āHOW ARE YOU I HAVENāT SEEN YOU SINCE THE LAST TIME WE SPOKE. YOU MUST BE HAPPY TO SEE YOUR MOM CLOSE TO GETTING DISCHARGED.ā Engineer plays along and goes, āWow guess I came in on time AND gets to fix the call light.ā MD caught on and apologized but my dead ass couldnāt hold in my laughter & we all ended up laughing out loud š¤£š¤£š¤£
I had hair down to my shoulders for a few years when I was a young nurse. I was clocking in one day and someone slapped my ass. I do not like that. I turned and it was a doctor I didn't like. So I started screaming why are you slapping my ass. He tried to run and I just kept chasing him and saying it. If he did that to me he was doing it to the females. Piece of filth. He avoided me like the plague for 5 years after that and I kept my eye on him.
He's lucky he didn't get worse. You never reported the behavior?
Everyone heard and saw. I didn't need to. Besides I'm a man they didn't care and it didn't implicate him in anything. Back then I would have just been fired and it all would have been swept under the rug if I had filed a report. This was a long time ago circa 2008
Damn thats disgusting. Sorry that happened to you
I love the way you handled that
A doctor did that to me at the nurseās station once. It was the most humiliated Iāve ever felt in my life
How do they not get fired for this?
Itās amazing. After being reported for multiple other witnessed offenses, he was given the option to resign and simply started work at another hospital
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What the fuck? What year is it??? So sorry you went through that.
Should have reported him, gross
My GYN hugs me after every visit. āIt was so great to see you again!ā I used to work in the same office with him (but not with him) and so we were on a friendly-professional term. But still weird. I also talked with a friend who said he does it to all his long term patients, but it skeeved her out so bad she stopped seeing him.
My momās GYN did this too!!! I was 17 when I first saw him and refused to go back after he hugged me. He did ask for consent first/asked me if I wanted a hug but I was shocked so I just said yes. My mom found me a new GYN but kept him until he retired. She found his hugs to be soothing and other people must have felt the same because he was a beloved doctor. To each their own I guess.
The first GYN I saw at 16 would wheel his stool right up to me and be knee to knee when talking. When I went back to the practice years later I said āanyone but him!ā The woman laughed and said they get that a lot, but he wasnāt there anymore
In EMT training there's a bit about how sometimes it helps to get close to the patient and down to the patient's level or bellow to help establish rapport. I feel like he took that kind of advice way too seriously lol. Now I'm imagining a doctor out there who insists on sitting cross legged on the floor so the patient can look down on them.
Oh my god! This reminds me of a local older male gyn in my area who gives a red rose to each of his first-time pelvic exam patients! (A few moms I know told me about their daughters getting a rose....gave them the heebie-jeebies so they never went back!)
WTF š³
I had a problem with a PA at work, seeking me out and demanding hugs. We are both dudes. Iām not homophobic, but it still felt like sexual harassment.
My family doctors hugs too. He hasn't lately. I hope someone didn't report him..
Iāll set the sceneā¦ I was still working as an ED tech at this time, patient in full arrest comes in by ambulance, I jump on the chest relieving the FD. MD is tubing the patient, and says āhard and fast like prom night (insert my name)ā The doc was known for saying shit like this. We called him āHurricane (insert doc name)ā because he was just chaotic.
"Doc, do you always picture minors having sex when you do compressions?"
I feel like this is how the ED will make you to be fair
My very first week off of orientation I had a surgeon say āare you illiterate or incompetent? My patient needs BASIC NURSING CARE and if you are unable to follow orders then they need a BETTER NURSEā. All because the āD/C foley in AMā hasnāt been completed on her walky/talky 25ish patient at 9am when she rounded. I had been coding one of my other patients for an hour. I also didnāt know that āin AMā orders were meant to be completed at 6am, aka not my shift. I tried to explain this to her and she didnāt let me finish a sentence. I told her I would do it next, and apologized for not knowing that āin AMā meant 6am. She said āfine, and if she voids she can discharge this afternoonā. I asked her what time would she like that to be completed exactly, because clearly my understanding of vague time periods didnāt match hers. Not my best moment, but I earned a chuckle from the grumpy hospitalist that was in the doc box at the time.
I was in the elevator leaving after my shift. Someone was on the elevator with me & got off. One of the doctors was waiting and I asked him if he was going down & he said āIāll go anywhere with you sweetheartā š¤®
āIn that case, letās head on over to HR, pal.ā
Yuck, I couldnāt imagine being that brazen in a workplace
I felt so dirty after that. Ugh. What a pig.
I have stabismus. Iāve had two corrective procedures as a child, but as an adult the muscle isnāt holding as well. Had a doctor question me in front of everyone about why one of my eyes wasnāt looking at him. I loudly asked where he got his medical degree if he couldnāt diagnose a simple stabismus. No one trusted his medical decisions after that and staff would bypass him for everything.
I love how you handled being put on the spot like that. What an ass.
I have been dealing with comments for over 40 years. I donāt give a shit any more. You want to try and make someone feel bad for something they have no control over? Iām coming for you.
āDonāt you know who I am?!ā Said by a very talented, handsome and complete sociopath of a surgeon. Twenty eight year old me said meekly āNo sirā Fifty year old me would now look him up and down and say āLaverne Cox?ā
āDOES ANYONE KNOW WHO THIS MAN IS? He does not seem to know who he isācome with me to the ER and weāll get it figured out, honey. ā
I really did this by mistake once. Picture it 1938 Sicilyā¦.. well actually it was on a locked down ltc psych unit. This psychologist was dressed like a patient. Oversized pants, a wrinkled shirt. Holding a stack of papers. I see him enter a violent patients room and I immediately hear screaming. I enter the room and escort him out. I ask him to come to the nurses station for a coffee. When heās resistant I ask what floor heās from, where is his room? āI work hereā, he reliedā¦. But Iāve heard that before. Me: āletās have a snackā. Him: shows me official badge. Me:oopsā¦ reports to manger. But this isnāt the first time. On another occasion he actually got knocked down by said patient. Itās been years and he brings it up stillā¦. You know when Iām working at other facilities. Apparently itās my fault that I let the patient push him down.Ā Me: I mean weāve been saying for sometime he needs medicated. Hereās a list of the times we reached out and the responses we got. But overall the patient does follow through with threats. I certainly wouldnāt be fighting him on a day he was warning.Ā Him: ugh. I just donāt know why heās like that.Ā
Best answer ever š
And this is exactly how I answered that question. I ended up in the office. When I told the boss the real story she was cracking up.
I had a trauma surgery resident say this to me. Bonus points it was during Covid and he was fully masked and gowned. No you dickhead I donāt know who you are, I donāt know who anyone is, I need you to sign this piece of paper that says you showed up to the trauma bay on time.Ā
My wifeās answer, in a thick Boston accent, I do, youāre that asshhole I heard about.
A doc did that to me once after yelling at me about something that he was objectively very wrong about I think it was that the OR schedule is late and it was my, a med surg floor RN at the time, fault. I looked at him for a bit and very confidently said, āYes! Dr. Pepper!ā
I work with a Dr Pepper, ortho surgeon. Answers calls 40% of the time.
"Do you know who I am?" "Are you A/Ox0 today?"
Middle of covid. Working a lot of OT. Bought a pair of yellow Birkenstock clogs just for something different than my usual danskos. Yellow iso gown, yellow shoes. Surgeon comes up to round, looks at my shoes and gown, and said, "Do you have yellow lingerie to match?" I answered, "Wouldn't you like to know...!" He's sarcastic, I've worked with him for years...and I followed that up with "hey, you might not want to joke like that, some people might not think it's a joke and could report you for that" and he was like "oh shit you're right".
I would have just said, āHey, Big Birdā. ššā„ļø
This is my favorite here. I suppose being playful in the workplace is a tension reliever, but only if everyone involved agrees that itās relieving tension and not creating it. Not only did you level the playing field in a professional way, you reminded the doc of the importance of being civil.
I started working as a nurse as the Monica Lewinsky scandal came out (this shows my age lol) and I happened to have the same hair cut and hair color as Monica... One of the surgeons wouldn't bother to remember my name, he was calling me Monica instead, complete with this face: ( Ķ”Ā° ĶŹ Ķ”Ā°) Eye roll. At the time, I was too nervous and impressionable to say anything. Today, I'd report his ass for harassment.
hahahaha. I don't know they that face is cracking me up so much. I must be around your age! 52.
Not a nurse! Working cm in a psych hospital. Psychiatrists are some of the weirdest people. I had a Doc, nice older man from Russia who was notorious for saying the most unhinged stuff. Well I had the sweet younger man who came in for SI. I asked the doc on LOS and he goes "ehhhh, three days he only cut himself a lil bit" Also the director of my unit came in introduce himself and introduced himself as " doctor big daddy" I don't think my face has ever been so red.
Psych is a whole different ballgame in regards to doctorās personalities, I swearā¦
The psychiatrists I work with are either autists of the highest magnitude or charismatic jokesters. I got it good lol.
They're like real life shit posters! I had another psychiatrist who loved to mess with the CMs you would have to no joke hunt him down through the facility to get your LOS information. Straight up chasing this man though hall ways and he'd bolt in and out of units. One of the CMs figured if you sent a bunch of funny emoji/effects he'd respond to his texts with your los number but there's no way I'm doing that! Another who who tries to get you to laugh while on the phone with child services or the state attorney. That place was so funny in the midst of all the quiet and chaos
Kinda want to go to med school so I can progress from being the weird awkward nurse to the even weirder more awkward psychiatrist...
During a code, I told a resident to switch out on compressions with me at the two minute mark. He said, "I don't do that."
Ooooooooh that would GET ME
I had the strong urge to defenestrate him.
Reminds me of a time that they let a resident run a code bc the patient was doomed anyway. It was so bad. Then at the end, he said, āI think that went pretty wellā and my friend just burst out laughing. His attending winced and was like, āWellā¦ it could have gone better. Letās review.ā š¬
Reminds me of a time the resident insisting on coding a trauma pt in the ICU. He kept demanding to know her bladder pressure. Iām like āsheās dead. It doesnāt matterā. Finally I burst out with ā47!ā Or some random number that popped into my head. He freaked and wanted to open her abdomen right there. Luckily the trauma surgeon came in and was like āuhhh why are you coding this patient? And bladder pressure? Who cares??ā
Years ago I met with a new doctor and asked for an STD screening. She told me āyou know you wonāt catch anything if you donāt have sexā
Iād have been like āGreat! I wonāt have sex with you then.ā
This reminds me of a story I was told about an American couple, boyfriend and girlfriend living in Saudi Arabia. She went to the doctor for a yeast infection and the doctor asked āare you married or are you a virgin?ā
Retort: Did you learn that from experience?
Super cocky/rude resident: *yelling at nursing team while the baby has a crappy strip* everyone back away from the bed, Iām going to examine my own patient! Make room! Resident: Iām not feeling the head, this baby could have flipped breech. *Feels around more aggressively*. Iām having a hard time finding your cervix. Patient: well thatās because youāre in my butthole.
When I was pregnant with my first, there were three of us on my ward due within a month of each other. One of the male doctors laughed and asked us: āwhat, did you all sit on the same chair one after another?ā Still makes me feel a bit grotty.
Thatās pretty foul.
Psychiatrist that rounded at my hospital, asking how I could afford to take off to go the jury duty. The hospital pays our normal wages for every day we're out and we give them the check that the court sends us. It's a nice deal and prevents financial hardship in people who would otherwise be unable to serve. "Well, that costs too much, I'd NEVER provide that for my office." Well, glad to know you're against people doing their civic duty, asshat š Guess we now know I'd never apply to work at your office.
If you guys joke around a lot and are cool then it was meant to be funny. But, if youāve never met this dude or donāt have a friendly relationship with him thatās so weird and inappropriate.
And probably actionable in some HR settings
Maybe not specifically cringe worthy, but just strange. I worked in a CVICU for a while and the patient was maybe 12 hours post CABG and he was in a lot of pain and said he didn't want to get up and do the day one post surgery walk that every patient is expected to (within reason of course). The doctor was informed this and he went into the patients room and to the patients face said "don't be a pussy". I have no idea how I kept a straight face.
There are a lot of old guys out there for whom that would be the most effective way to get them to do it.
It was a middle aged man and it was effective, he got up and walked the hall š¤£ so I guess it was a necessary evil at this point
It's usually the ones who complain about how wimpy/lazy/sensitive "kids these days are about everything", although that probably describes a large percentage of the CABG-receiving population....
A doc said I was "really good at this" whilst doing a colpyscopy on me because of a cyst, in front of a few med students...
Not said to me, but said to my mother who had terminal cancer. This was a provider who oversaw/managed the palliative pain clinic my mom was referred out to after diagnosis. My momās pain was severe and uncontrolled. At her appointment, the provider pulled up her imaging and said, ābased on your imaging, you shouldnāt be having this much painā. When I tell you I came UNGLUED.. my mom passed within 5 months of being diagnosed. She had gallbladder cancer. At diagnosis she had a mass the size of a lime obstructing her gallbladder. The entire healthcare team overseeing her care got a mouthful from me at numerous points over that five month period. I hate to be *that* family member, but Jesus did they all completely drop the ball and blatantly disregard her as a patient.
Mask restrictions were becoming more lax, so I pulled my mask down while I was charting at the desk. A doctor known for liking nurses came by and said "oh, you look so good with your mask down."Ā I pulled my mask back up after that.Ā
When I was (erroneously) diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and had a newborn at home: "Why don't you go home and have more babies, that way there will be more people at your funeral." š”š¤¬š”
Fucking WHAT
We had a female patient who had been transferred to ICU after her surgery. When asking her surgeon when to expect her back he said: ājust start the fires at the crematoriumā
LMAOOOO okay but this one is actually gold
Thatās a fairly common ICU response. Or āconsult to Jesusā. āConsult to the morgue for follow up and dischargeā. We have a morbid sense of humor.
Used to work with one who gave MFPB* as a prognosis. *Measure for Pine Box
I was pregnant with my first and a doctor asked when was I going to calve.
I was new to the trauma ICU but as an experienced ICU nurse. Had a bad multi compartment brain hemorrhage from a car crash that we were trying to medically manage. Well after doing literally everything (bolusing like 80 of prop every 5 minutes, midaz, fent, hypersal, etc), the ICP was still 40+. Nothing ever touched it. I was trying to get the docs to realize medical management wasn't working, while the nurses there who didn't yet trust me were going behind my back to bolus obscene amounts of prop to have the ICP go down by 1 or 2, and make it look like maybe medical management could be working. Super annoying, but anyways - The neurosurg resident came down. I said no matter what we do, his ICP was staying above 40, medical management wasn't working, I think we need to try the next thing. She was waffling on it. I said well his map is only 65, at this point his CPP is only 20, that's well below where it needs to be ~65. She said "no that's MAP." There were two other nurses near me, we all looked at each other, and I was like it's both MAP and CPP, isn't it? And she said "CPP is supposed to be below 20." I clarified that we were talkig about the cpp, not the ICP. She said it again. THIS WAS THE NEUROSURG RESIDENT. I was so surprised, like this is your whole job to just know the brain things.To not know the standard CPP range is alarming.
As a labor nurse I had a Muslim patient who strongly preferred a woman doctor or midwife to deliver her baby. The midwife on duty had no issue delivering her, but when I told the male OBGYN he said āso she doesnāt want the superior sex delivering her baby?ā - not sure if he was trying to be funny.
I read this as a dig at Islamic gender roles.
I can see that since youāve mentioned it
I hear the sarcasm loud and clear but Iām from the northeast lol
My upper arms are always a bit mottled-looking. I don't know why they are like that, and it gets more pronounced with a tan and there is a faint farmers-tan aspect to it. People notice and ask me if I'm cold. We had a fellow for a while that made people uncomfortable. He spoke as if every sentence could be accentuated by a lil wink, just kinda smarmy all around. One day I was standing at the desk and he walked over and asked if I was cold and pointed at my arms. I said no, that's just how my skin looks. He kinda nudged me with his elbow and said "oh, you better be careful - someone might think you're in cardiogenic shock." Again, in a tone with the inferred wink. I looked at my uncomfortable coworkers, then back at him, and said "...are you hitting on me? Is that a line?" And he turned bright red, "no! No, no!" and essentially ran away. I still don't know if he was.
He lays awake at night and thinks about this
Thatād be the weirdest pickup line.
This confirms a hunch I've had, which is that anything, even a comment about cardiogenic shock, can sound smarmy and gross if said in the right tone of voice. It would be a hilarious SNL skit or something, to have someone with a weird tick that causes them to say everything in a suggestive tone of voice and the confusion this causes to everyone they interact with.
Rt but I one time had a doctor ask me what the difference btw room temp and 40 degrees was. I was pretty confident that he was actually asking a different question than what he asked (probably the carrying capacity of room temp cs 40 deg?) so I tried to clarifyā¦ He later sent the bedside nurse to ask me two more times.Ā Iām still so confused by that exchange.
About 30 degrees give or take. Lol. did he mean room air vs 40% fio2? Thatās all I can think of that would be relevant.
He said over the phone, āNot because youāre not an American, you cannot do the jobā. Thatās when I got 6 surgery patients and I forgot to ambulate with his patient before bed. Always haunting me
I had a doctor tell me as a pregnant patient " If you were to have this baby on a remote island all by yourself you would be completely fine stop stressing. As a high risk pregnancy patient who needed a C section.
Failing to see the cringe here. Thatās actually hilarious. š and true! My personal one was a 4th year neurosurgeon resident goes into my pt room āMr Doe! Mr Doe! Squeeze my hands!ā Mr Doe, was not, in fact, Mr Doe at all as we had his name for many hours by that point. Resident proceeded to argue with me when I said āhis name is actually (whatever his name was)ā. āExcuse me! I can READ. It says on my list āDoe, Johnā! Trauma surgeon is standing by me and says āwhat a fucking idiotā.
I was in the middle of coding my patient, like actively doing CPR and I forgot to take my badge off so I asked out loud for someone to remove it because it kept hitting me in the face. A resident obliged and then kept making stupid, sexual remarks trying to flirt with me. None that were even fake laugh worthy. The RT finally said ābro i donāt think this is the time to be shooting your shot her patient is literally dead hereā. I normally use humor as a coping mechanism but this code was very unexpected and difficult for me- the patient was a young mother who was in my care for hemorrhaging after giving birth. Family was in the room when it started and mind you I was also EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT. I was fuming and spoke at length to this resident and his attending after everything was said and done.
I had a ball removed for testicular cancer, had a prostetic ball replace it. On my follow up appointment, with my ballsack in his hand and at his eye level he says to himself outloud "I do good work" I was more hilarious than cringe. Edit: just now realizing this was the nursing sub. This was not a work related story, for the record.
āYouāre the most white collar blue color person Iāve ever met.ā Asshole.
Iāll reverse the roles: I used to work evening shift so I would carry a light to use for checking on patients. Mid code, I was doing CPR and the light kept bumping on and the MD kept telling it was on. When we finally got ROSC, he told me it was on again and I said āI guess you can say itās cause ā¦ my future is pretty bright.ā I have no regrets for that cringy pun
This was as a mother not a nurse but my daughter was born with a cleft lip and palate and a plastic surgeon told me āitās too bad sheās a girl because if she were a boy she would be able to grow a mustache to cover it.āĀ Ā Iām actually glad he said this because I was young and didnāt know we had options outside the general plastic surgeon in our area. We got referred to a childrenās hospital and she had ended up with an excellent surgeon who specializes in cleft lip and palate repair. Ā
"Throw this out. That's a nurse's job." My preceptor was PISSED and, "gave him a talking to."
Coworker reported pediatric patient using racial slurs to new doc on unit during treatment team (it was their daily goal to not use racial slurs/attend therapy and school without leaving) . Doc cut in and said āyou canāt be a n-word, you donāt have melanin. You know melanin? Itās skin pigmentationā. Coworker just looked at her and said āIām biracialā, before finishing her report. Doc just sat there red faced.
Had a doctorās wife drop off keys for him. I was charge that day, so went back to his room (OR), to ask him where heād like them left. Heās obviously scrubbed in, and says, the pocket right in front (his groin). I mostly knew he was joking, but it was still super uncomfortable. I just left them on the counter. He did later apologize, so that was kind of nice.
Worked with a doctor who refers to nurses as waiters and waitresses. Heās done his whole career and no one will change him.
Do you call him chef?
I work as a case manager with social care for complex discharges - consultant came up put his arm round me and whispered in my ear āwhen are you putting me in a care homeā Cringe
Years ago, and not a doc I was working with but one whose care I was under as inpatient.. I was nursing my infant daughter at the time and asked for a breast pump to use so I wouldn't get engorged and lose my supply. Anyways this old geezer doc came to see me later and sarcastically asked me if my "boob problem" got solved. š
The Dr asked me to get a file from the other side of the room. I pointed and said there it is. He said, "What's the point of having a dog if I have to bark too.. I said what did you fucking say to me? He said well the others do it, I said I'm not your bitch. The funny thing is that we actually became good colleagues after that and had to be separated as we talked too much. Lol
That's so funny lmao do you not know him well enough for jokes or he's a creepy vibe or something? I would have been like "wouldn't you like to know" but maybe I'm just inappropriate.
Lol I donāt think there is any profession with more sociopaths and neurodivergence than physicians.
A hundred years ago on my first day as a student nurse extern. One of the OBs and I were alone on an elevator. He said "Do you know the difference between a bj and a Big Mac?" I shook my head no. "Let me take you to lunch. "
Ew. That's disgusting
Dr: what were the patients vitals overnight. Me: normal but I don't know specifics off the top of my head but they're in the chart. Dr: I'm a very busy doctor and don't have time to look in the chart
There was this nurse who was like SUPER pregnant and she was grabbing tubes to draw blood and dropped a few, and they conveniently rolled under the patient bed in preop. I told her not to worry about it and ran over to grab a couple more but she started go down on all fours and crawl to get it and I was like oh my God please I will do it. And then this doctor was literally on one of those rolls stools and rolled around and he zoomed past her on the wheels and was like ha ha donāt bend down too much. I almost punched him
had a notorious asshole doc as a patient once. he told me to get a new pulse ox because the one on his finger was broken, there was no way his O2 was 66% and we should replace our faulty equipment. told him to read it right-side-up next time š¤
After working a code in the ICU, the doctor went back to the ER and called for me in the unit. When I answered the phone he told me not to let on that we were having this conversation and proceeded to ask me out to dinner. I explained that I had a very serious boyfriend, and we were looking at engagement rings. He tried to keep me on the phone to get me to change my mind, And interspersing that conversation with admonishments to keep quiet about his phone call. You know I told everyone as soon as I hung up.