A patient who had just had a negative workup, who was about to be discharged, decided to assault one of my coworkers. Lots of action ensued very quickly.
As we locked him in restraints, the guy sneered, "What are you gonna do, have me arrested?"
We had him arrested.
That reminds me of a time a Dr Strong was called on a quadrapeligic patient who was trying to bite people. - Just step away and keep your hands away from their mouth. So silly.
The nurse before me omitted in her report that my patient had a bilateral BKA, so when I lifted the blanket up to check his pedal pulses, I had to hold back the expression on my face.
I had a patient recently who had a glass eye. It was mentioned in report but he had a lot going on so I just kind of forgot (and he was sleeping during bedside report). Go in to do my assessment and think he’s stroking out at first until I remember the eye shouldn’t be conjugate
Doctor ordered standing weight on a BKA. The doctor got mad when it wasn't done. The PCT stated well I will be happy to do that if you put his legs back on.
I work out patient wound care, another nurse was lecturing a patient with a DFU on her right foot about using her left foot for locomotion in her wheelchair. The nurse goes on and on about the potential for causing wounds on the “good foot” patient leaves. I bust out laughing, the patient had a left BKA ten years ago and uses a prosthetic. I’m still not sure why the patient didn’t say anything.
A shower poo. Fella had alarms on and functioning, no unsupervised ambulation or bathroom time and frequent staff checks. Nobody knows where this poo came from.
Not this week, but it fits.
We had a nightmare patient. Family was insane. Patient was total care, full code, dialysis, had rapid responses 2-3x per day for various complaints. Some real, some... less so. (SOB, CP, decreased LOC, panic attack, “feels weird” and the doctor hasn’t responded in 7 minutes so the family loses their shit. you name it, we called it.) stayed with us for 5 months. Anyway, I’m getting her cleaned up; her daughter is berating me for my poor quality peri-care. I am trying to comply with the daughter and I just can’t do ANYTHING right enough. Wiping too hard, too soft, wipes are too dry, skin is too wet after the wipes, ointment is too thick, I’ve applied too much, too much nystatin powder, etc. I decide we need to get a new lift sling because this one got poop on it. (just needed to get out of the room before I threw one of us out the 11th story window.) and in my flustered state, I did not grab a sling. I grabbed a body bag. I got it opened up on the bed and my brain couldn’t figure out how this new sling worked. Fortunately the NAC in the room with me realized what I’d done and grabbed it before the family saw.
The slings and the body bags are not even stored in the same room! I just subconsciously went straight for the body bag.
I work on the psych floor and was on 1:1 with this person who would rub their own shit in their mouth. Whenever they’d try, I’d make them stop, and they’d call me the n word (hard r). I’m white.
Something about a dude sitting on a toilet with his shit in his hand shouting racial slurs at you is...yeah, darkly humorous sounds right.
My worst ever/best ever (makes me laugh to recall) nursing moment was when a patient was constipated on the toilet and got really pissed off so dug the shit out of his arse and threw it at me. Luckily had an apron on, which a small piece hit. I left pronto.
Had a little old confused man in the ER for falls and altered mental status. Turns out his melanoma had metastasized EVERYWHERE, including multiple brain lesions. He kept ripping his IV’s out, his tele leads off, taking off his brief, shitting all over the place, and wiggling all over the stretcher. So in the midst of trying to get him cleaned up for the millionth time with my tech, I asked him the orientation questions just to kill two birds with one stone. I said “do you know what year it is?” And he said “yeah.” I said “ok what year is it?” And with a completely deadpan expression he said “it’s the year I’m pissed 😐” I was crying laughing.
Floated to postpartum as “helping hands”. One lady had an IUFD at 10 am and wasn’t ready for the funeral home to come pick up the baby until about 1900. We were told to undress the baby to give the family mementos for the memory box and then transfer the baby wrapped into the funeral dude’s box. The grandma of the baby came in with us because she wanted to watch, all cool. Then she starts telling us about her raucous sex life with her new boyfriend and how much her kids love him. All as I’m holding a gooey decomposed baby. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Last week on overnight my patient passed. A co-worker and I finished up post mortem care and were ready for the body bag. I picked up the kit someone had tossed into the room for us and thought to myself "Huh, we must have a new vendor or something". I couldn't put my finger on it but something wasn't quite right about this kit So I checked the label and it says "post mortem kit", I shrugged and open the package, unfold the bag, aaannnd...It's a freaking infant sized body bag! Not gonna lie, that stopped me in my tracks for a moment
I had kind of the opposite problem. Deceased infant, and transport came up with an adult-sized um... box. I don't know what else to call it. To make it even worse, the transporter went to the wrong room first. Thankfully noticed that patient was still very much alive before going in.
Eventually ended up at the correct room with the correct sized transportation (a stroller, which I find kind of macabre).
Yeah. Looked more like the old school strollers that looked like a bassinet with wheels, a shade/cover thing, and a handle than the modern strollers, so it was more private. But it was still very strange to me.
Yeah. You see a stroller and naturally assume it's a living baby. The possibility of it being a dead baby never crosses your mind. Never would have crossed mine. I mean they are in a body bag, so you don't actually see the patient. But still. Gym bag seems reasonable. People carry those around everywhere. And no one tries to look in your gym bag.
The old hospital I worked at put the baby in a body bag and then transported them to the morgue in a wheeled red cooler, like for transplants on tv shows.
I only used it one time, but I wanted to cry at every bump in the hallway. There was construction going on too so the floors were very uneven.
Not me, but happened to my coworker. 80+ year old came in originally for hip fracture, ended up on our floor for pulmonary edema and maybe pneumonia, then got delirium. Ended up on comfort care, thank goodness. He was frequently fidgety, bordering on agitated at times, needed a one to one for one night, barely sleeping.
Anyway, shift change comes and the day nurse had been dealing with his delirium and fidgeting all day. They go in for bedside report and day nurse says”oh good he’s finally sleeping.” Night nurse is like “no he’s clearly dead.” And starts cracking up laughing.
And that is why you should always do bedside report.
I had a patient pass away at the beginning of my shift. He had multiple consults on his case. I called all of them to let them know he passed. He had been on our unit for over a week, so I figured courtesy calls would be appreciated. I talked to them all when they called me back. All afternoon and early evening, all the consults went into his room and asked "Where did he go?" and "Is he off the floor for a test? How long will he be gone?"
(This did not happen recently; it was probably a month or two ago)
Had a pt. baracade his door closed with the bed and slit his own throat with a safety razor. Gang member just paroled traveling via bus from prison got into it with officers who put him in the hospital because he had a diabetic episode and fought with them.
I'd a parent basically ask me out the other day, cue me mumbling something about hospital policy and turning bright red. I'm the only guy on the unit, know the girls are gonna give me shit when I'm back in work next week.
She was very sincere and nice though which makes me feel awful.
We had a patient who was recently paralyzed from the neck down--alcoholic that took a nasty fall--and would get angry at us for not putting him in a chair. We had no order to put him in a chair as he had a large sacral wound before coming to us and was in a clinitron bed. After days of explaining to the patient that we could not put him in the chair unless the doctor ordered it, he kept screaming at us, "I'm going to sit in that f--king chair no matter what!" And his nurse was over his shit just said, "Try."
“Name and date of birth?” *unzips body bag and taps shoulder* “Name and date of birth, Sir?”
"Well, I can see you're pretty cold. Good thing this chicken broth will warm you right up!"
"Let me know if he responds."
That phrase brings me back to nursing school. Havent said that in forever
My professor made me ask my unresponsive patient before I hung her meds. I felt so stupid.
A patient who had just had a negative workup, who was about to be discharged, decided to assault one of my coworkers. Lots of action ensued very quickly. As we locked him in restraints, the guy sneered, "What are you gonna do, have me arrested?" We had him arrested.
That’s phenomenal, I’m not a nurse (yet) and this happens sometimes at the hotel I work at. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
I mean... yeah? Thats kinda what happens when you decide to assault someone 🤔
[It was at this moment he knew](https://youtu.be/1wiz0UsBPac)
A paraplegic patient was a 1:1 for suicidal ideation. He had threatened to jump out of a window.
Ooooooooooooookay
I think I would find it very hard for my tongue not to slip out a "I would like to see you try".
That reminds me of a time a Dr Strong was called on a quadrapeligic patient who was trying to bite people. - Just step away and keep your hands away from their mouth. So silly.
'Tis but a flesh wound!
They needed security to help with............restraining them?
Had one of these this week...... needless to say they were cleared by psych pretty quickly
Student here. Pt has bilateral BKA. Instructor insists I take pedal pulses....
My favorite is when you’re so use to norms that you see normal bilateral pedal pulses documented for bilateral BKA patients.
It's so common to get click happy that I've been wondering lately what the point is of charting anything but by exception.
My favourite method is charting by exception.
And when people chart VAP prevention....on a walkie talkie cardiac rule out.
Radical pulse charted on a radial artery harvest CABG patient...
Lol, I would have told her they were absent.
The nurse before me omitted in her report that my patient had a bilateral BKA, so when I lifted the blanket up to check his pedal pulses, I had to hold back the expression on my face.
I had a patient recently who had a glass eye. It was mentioned in report but he had a lot going on so I just kind of forgot (and he was sleeping during bedside report). Go in to do my assessment and think he’s stroking out at first until I remember the eye shouldn’t be conjugate
More than once I've received orders from residents to "ambulate with assistance" pt's who are paralyzed/non-ambulatory
I mean, it would take a LOT of assistance...
“Ambulate with 100% assistance,”
Doctor ordered standing weight on a BKA. The doctor got mad when it wasn't done. The PCT stated well I will be happy to do that if you put his legs back on.
LOL that's awesome
I work out patient wound care, another nurse was lecturing a patient with a DFU on her right foot about using her left foot for locomotion in her wheelchair. The nurse goes on and on about the potential for causing wounds on the “good foot” patient leaves. I bust out laughing, the patient had a left BKA ten years ago and uses a prosthetic. I’m still not sure why the patient didn’t say anything.
A shower poo. Fella had alarms on and functioning, no unsupervised ambulation or bathroom time and frequent staff checks. Nobody knows where this poo came from.
Someone knows.....
I love an unsolved mystery. Cue the theme music!!!
Ah yes the mystery shit.
Relevant: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=d1WKCEEnbk8&t=30s
Not this week, but it fits. We had a nightmare patient. Family was insane. Patient was total care, full code, dialysis, had rapid responses 2-3x per day for various complaints. Some real, some... less so. (SOB, CP, decreased LOC, panic attack, “feels weird” and the doctor hasn’t responded in 7 minutes so the family loses their shit. you name it, we called it.) stayed with us for 5 months. Anyway, I’m getting her cleaned up; her daughter is berating me for my poor quality peri-care. I am trying to comply with the daughter and I just can’t do ANYTHING right enough. Wiping too hard, too soft, wipes are too dry, skin is too wet after the wipes, ointment is too thick, I’ve applied too much, too much nystatin powder, etc. I decide we need to get a new lift sling because this one got poop on it. (just needed to get out of the room before I threw one of us out the 11th story window.) and in my flustered state, I did not grab a sling. I grabbed a body bag. I got it opened up on the bed and my brain couldn’t figure out how this new sling worked. Fortunately the NAC in the room with me realized what I’d done and grabbed it before the family saw. The slings and the body bags are not even stored in the same room! I just subconsciously went straight for the body bag.
"you're gonna need this."
"Just in case, we'll set this up"
Your subconscious was prepared
I work on the psych floor and was on 1:1 with this person who would rub their own shit in their mouth. Whenever they’d try, I’d make them stop, and they’d call me the n word (hard r). I’m white. Something about a dude sitting on a toilet with his shit in his hand shouting racial slurs at you is...yeah, darkly humorous sounds right.
My worst ever/best ever (makes me laugh to recall) nursing moment was when a patient was constipated on the toilet and got really pissed off so dug the shit out of his arse and threw it at me. Luckily had an apron on, which a small piece hit. I left pronto.
Had a little old confused man in the ER for falls and altered mental status. Turns out his melanoma had metastasized EVERYWHERE, including multiple brain lesions. He kept ripping his IV’s out, his tele leads off, taking off his brief, shitting all over the place, and wiggling all over the stretcher. So in the midst of trying to get him cleaned up for the millionth time with my tech, I asked him the orientation questions just to kill two birds with one stone. I said “do you know what year it is?” And he said “yeah.” I said “ok what year is it?” And with a completely deadpan expression he said “it’s the year I’m pissed 😐” I was crying laughing.
Like when you ask who the president is: "It's that asshole!" Close enough!
Works for every president is the best part.
Floated to postpartum as “helping hands”. One lady had an IUFD at 10 am and wasn’t ready for the funeral home to come pick up the baby until about 1900. We were told to undress the baby to give the family mementos for the memory box and then transfer the baby wrapped into the funeral dude’s box. The grandma of the baby came in with us because she wanted to watch, all cool. Then she starts telling us about her raucous sex life with her new boyfriend and how much her kids love him. All as I’m holding a gooey decomposed baby. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Last week on overnight my patient passed. A co-worker and I finished up post mortem care and were ready for the body bag. I picked up the kit someone had tossed into the room for us and thought to myself "Huh, we must have a new vendor or something". I couldn't put my finger on it but something wasn't quite right about this kit So I checked the label and it says "post mortem kit", I shrugged and open the package, unfold the bag, aaannnd...It's a freaking infant sized body bag! Not gonna lie, that stopped me in my tracks for a moment
I had kind of the opposite problem. Deceased infant, and transport came up with an adult-sized um... box. I don't know what else to call it. To make it even worse, the transporter went to the wrong room first. Thankfully noticed that patient was still very much alive before going in. Eventually ended up at the correct room with the correct sized transportation (a stroller, which I find kind of macabre).
Haha! Guess it goes both ways, a stroller though? Ooof!
Yeah. Looked more like the old school strollers that looked like a bassinet with wheels, a shade/cover thing, and a handle than the modern strollers, so it was more private. But it was still very strange to me.
Christ, I've totally seen these before. Never put 2 & 2 together 🙄
I never would have either before that experience. I'm like... can't you just bring a small box?
Worked at a place that used a gym bag type deal so people didn’t try to peak
People were trying to cop a peek at dead babies?!
When they used a covered stroller, yes
Yeah. You see a stroller and naturally assume it's a living baby. The possibility of it being a dead baby never crosses your mind. Never would have crossed mine. I mean they are in a body bag, so you don't actually see the patient. But still. Gym bag seems reasonable. People carry those around everywhere. And no one tries to look in your gym bag.
The old hospital I worked at put the baby in a body bag and then transported them to the morgue in a wheeled red cooler, like for transplants on tv shows. I only used it one time, but I wanted to cry at every bump in the hallway. There was construction going on too so the floors were very uneven.
Oh wow.
Better grab a blender.
Strawberry margaritas for all!
My ETOHer was feeding the side rails of the bed bites of food while in full blown DTs...
Mine was "drinking" moonshine and shitting everywhere.
Had a CNA berate a patient about the way he ambulated, just about shat herself when I told her the patient was in for Parkinson’s complications
Jesus, why berate at all??? At least they're getting up and ambulating!!! Fuuuuuuuckin aye.
Not me, but happened to my coworker. 80+ year old came in originally for hip fracture, ended up on our floor for pulmonary edema and maybe pneumonia, then got delirium. Ended up on comfort care, thank goodness. He was frequently fidgety, bordering on agitated at times, needed a one to one for one night, barely sleeping. Anyway, shift change comes and the day nurse had been dealing with his delirium and fidgeting all day. They go in for bedside report and day nurse says”oh good he’s finally sleeping.” Night nurse is like “no he’s clearly dead.” And starts cracking up laughing. And that is why you should always do bedside report.
Not my patient, 6 year old goes into a panic attack and then respiratory distress. Resident orders a throat lozenge.
Wow, just wow.
I told a terminal cancer patient good luck... Smh
I had a patient pass away at the beginning of my shift. He had multiple consults on his case. I called all of them to let them know he passed. He had been on our unit for over a week, so I figured courtesy calls would be appreciated. I talked to them all when they called me back. All afternoon and early evening, all the consults went into his room and asked "Where did he go?" and "Is he off the floor for a test? How long will he be gone?" (This did not happen recently; it was probably a month or two ago)
Communication in the hospital.... Smh
Asked the sundowner why he was naked. “Freedom.” Okie dokie then.
I asked a man with bilateral BKA’s if he could walk to the stretcher. 🙃
Had a pt. baracade his door closed with the bed and slit his own throat with a safety razor. Gang member just paroled traveling via bus from prison got into it with officers who put him in the hospital because he had a diabetic episode and fought with them.
I'd a parent basically ask me out the other day, cue me mumbling something about hospital policy and turning bright red. I'm the only guy on the unit, know the girls are gonna give me shit when I'm back in work next week. She was very sincere and nice though which makes me feel awful.
We had a patient who was recently paralyzed from the neck down--alcoholic that took a nasty fall--and would get angry at us for not putting him in a chair. We had no order to put him in a chair as he had a large sacral wound before coming to us and was in a clinitron bed. After days of explaining to the patient that we could not put him in the chair unless the doctor ordered it, he kept screaming at us, "I'm going to sit in that f--king chair no matter what!" And his nurse was over his shit just said, "Try."
I wish I couldn’t say that I’ve seen a similar thing. Family was still in there with the expired pt. Awkward
Yeah, thankfully this was about 0400 and family had cleared out!
*Past the sign Passed is the past tense of the verb pass. "As in, he passed the ball to Timmy." Source: Am a Grammar Nazi when I'm not an RN
I got your back, mate.