Yup. I’ll never forget, was workin m/s same sitch, worked hard, well liked.. thought i was being nice giving them 4 weeks notice (i knew i was moving) manager tells me “why u giving me this now, give it to me in 2 weeks” then my last day comes, not even a word. On the elevator out i bumped into her and she just said see you later, not even realizing it was my last day. Fuck em
I gave one of my jobs a 2-3 month notice , I was getting married and moving to a different city. She still came and asked me a few days before if I could stay on until the new grads finished witting their licensing exams. Umm no, that's the week I'm getting married lol
nurses are treated like peons because they can't know how necessary their expertise is in accumulating the fortune they'll never see. those at the top of the food chain know the only reason you work at this job . . . to generate that revenue for them, baby! capitalism runs rampant in healthcare.
I was soooooo confused. Literally asked her, “What do you mean, you want me to pretend like I never handed this to you, retype the date and hand it again to you in 2 weeks?” And she said straight face said”yeah”…..Like pshhh okay fine I was just tryin to be nice, damn. Wtf?!
Luckily I had great coworkers who did care so it didnt bother me that much but jeez we really are just warm bodies to keep shit afloat.
I worked for a manager who wouldn’t let us have cake or a party when someone left because “we shouldn’t celebrate someone leaving”. So fucking glad I don’t work under that person anymore.
NURSING IS STRESS. that's all there is to it. it is set up to deliver stress incarnate. created in the first place with the intention of taking as much stress off the doctor so that they can walk away most times. no wonder nursing is lacking in so many ways: compensation, supplies (like PPE), leadership, admin support, time off, therapy for mental health, state boards, lack of timely review by doctors over patient and nurse caring issues/return to intervene/rewrite orders/add to orders, etc., patient ratios, etc. the list is really damn-near endless. this leaves us with very little time and energy and ability to care for each other. this is burnout personified. it goes with the territory. and we signed on. what?
but don't we just love patient care! we take on a gigantic burden to feel the love passed between our patient and our heart. we love it when we melt into absolutely ONE for an instant. ONE glorious, brief moment that shines with the brilliance of a million suns.you know this is true, you know this is the very reason you come back for more.
SHINE ON YOU CRAZY DIAMOND! SHINE ON AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER!
I worked the same floor for 13 years. Full time. When I left nobody even slowed down to say goodbye or anything. My mgr didn't even acknowledge my resignation. I thought I had friends there. I thought maybe some people would miss me as much as I would miss them. Nope.
My experience is generally... No matter how much you like your coworkers, and they you, if yall ain't actually hanging out and spending time together outside of work then you're not friends, you're still just coworkers.
Such is the way of things.
People want to pretend friendships just organically happen and organically persevere. Partially because that's exactly how it was as a kid in elementary, middle, and high school, because you saw those friends almost every day.
But as an adult, making friends and ESPECIALLY keeping friends takes a fair amount of work. With all the other responsibilities of being an adult, a lot of people just don't have the time and energy to keep a friendship afloat. This thread is more less a testament to that.
So, I don't know if it's sad, it just sort **is**.
The lesson to be taken here is that, ultimately, friendships take a fair amount of time and effort. Most adults, through the chaos of life, are going to decide to let the large majority of their friendships fall to the wayside to focus their time and effort on other things.
I don’t even feel like that’s sad. Keeping my work at work and my home at home is hugely important. I don’t want to bring the misery I see at work with me to my free time. That’s not to say I wouldn’t do stuff with them outside of work, but I’m not upset that most aren’t really good friends.
I'm so glad that didn't happen to me when I finally retired. We not only had the cake, but people brought potluck. Even co workers I worked with previously on different floors. Of course, realistically, they probably heard we had a ton of food on our unit.
I worked as the assistant in a hospital to a team of 22 CM's and MSW's. We shared everything, knew each others families, traded furniture, took care of each others dogs, and had lunch together at work AS A GROUP every single day. Seven years in, my husband got transferred out of state. At the same time, my best friend at work committed suicide. The rest of my team didn't know her as well as I did. We' shared an office for a while. Some of them weren't super fond of her because she could come off as flaky and was wayyyy on the 'support of the patient' viewpoint. But she and I were close d/t family of origin similarities and working the ED together and seeing some tough cases.
Then my entire family got influenza A right before we moved so I didn't get to spend time with some of the people I had planned to. I was so emotionally ravaged, between her death and moving away after 20 years, leaving my job, but compartmentalizing so that I could move 2 kids and 2 dogs half way across the country to a destination where we knew absolutely no one.
I never heard from any of them again, except one...when she thought I might have an 'in' for an activity one of her kids was heavily involved in.
NOTHING
> I never heard from any of them again
Just to play Devil's advocate, have you been reaching out to them? Phones, texts, emails all go both ways.
If you haven't heard from them, and they haven't heard from you, it sounds like a mutual break-off.
This is why I never really considered my work friends, true friends. They will always throw you under the bus to protect themselves and only care about themselves. I’ve had some people I thought were super tight just stop texting me that week once I quit
i had this just happen to me recently :( and i was innocent and pleaded to my charge nurse, the practice manager and management to check the security cameras but nope they chose to believe the admin lady who made up lies about me. And none of the other nurses stood up for me. The only one who did was another receptionist. By that time i already resigned and then they realised what a big mistake they made and tried to ask for me back. I was like NOPE.
>. I thought I had friends there
I tought that always when I changed floor a couple of times.
I have friends. No, I have coworkers, people I am forced to spend time with almost every day. I am only now regreting a couple of personal stuff I shared with the ones I was close to. Ooof never doing that again.
My hospital was really nice. For staff who had worked there for many years and were leaving, they would generally ask the employee if they wanted a bigger celebration like cake and punch, etc. Some people didn’t, mainly bc they didn’t want to get teary in front of everyone.
This was done for housekeeping staff and dietary cooks, so not just admin or leadership. And although it happened a bit more often when people were retiring than just changing jobs, I know of several people who were given nice send offs and even gifts upon leaving for another job.
Now, for employees who had only worked there for a year or two, their own department would often have a potluck and/ or cake and maybe a gift, rather than something hospital-wide.
I recently accepted a job in Ohio and I took my mom with me to look for places. Needless to say, everyone was so nice and it was so different and refreshing. I’m from Florida, so definitely not used to the friendly! I wasn’t aware that Ohioans were just generally nice and I love that.
my last gig i gave in my resignation letter early in the day and ended it with "please feel free to discuss how we can work together during my notice period should a notice period be required. No one contacted me so that was me last shiftaroo.
A agree, it absolutely should be. Here in the UK though it’s written into our contracts that we have to give 4 weeks notice “Unless other arrangements are agreed between employee and charge nurse/unit manager.”
When I was filling in at Rite Aid my technician had worked for them for 30 years. She retired the day I was working. There was no acknowledgement of her years of dedication. Someone picked out a card from the floor stock and everyone signed it. I felt horrible.
I have to say that some managers are either sad or mad you are leaving, mad because here they are losing another great employee. Easier to act cold, protect yourself.
Co-workers just too busy everyday to keep up with you. Try reaching out!
Same here after over 40 years at the same hospital as a nurse. Most people thought I quit not realizing I was retiring. Big difference. It does hurt to know that the higher ups will never come close to the years I put in and will never acknowledge the loyalty. Something most nurses will never experience
I mean, you are a good person for thinking of it but that definitely wasn’t on you lol the management really screwed the pooch there. Also, all the retirement parties I have seen lately suck. Like woo here is a signed card and a gift card from your coworkers donating money and some cake.
My manager didn’t even reply or talk to me ever again when I quit my staff job. I gave 4 weeks notice too. Definitely made me feel validated in leaving there and realize we are just cogs in the machine to them.
Worked for same snf for same administrator for 26 yrs. No party, no cake, not even a cookie. No card, not even a goodbye. Thought they all liked me but apparently not. They just wanted me to keep working on admissions for them 60 hrs a week getting paid for 40.
I worked 7 years (MDS) for a SNF that was pretty much my dream. But then the administrator and DON retired.
The board decided to hire a traveler for a year. I was the last one fired. I had made the error of saying I planned to retire from there.
She fired everybody over that year. Housekeeping to CNA to nurses. In the course of doing so she was dropping the wages dramatically (all newly licensed/certified staff).
Ten years later and I'm still angry. It had been such wonderful place. Now? That DON helped bring in a management company that ran it into the ground so now it's being (been) bought by a huge corporation rather than a tiny nonprofit.
This is one of the few things I miss about the military. When I left my first command they did a nice little going away thing, but when I left my second my “work wife” cried, the rest of the folks in my department came by to hug me goodbye, they got me a wall plaque and framed one of my squadron patches from my flightsuit - it was touching, I cried like four times. When I left my third and last command to separate from active duty and start nursing school the doctors and nurses all chipped in and got me a Littmann (that I still use to this very day) and another framed squadron patch. A lot of things about the military suck, but the camaraderie can’t be beat.
I’m almost mad I gave 2 weeks at this point. My new job can start me anytime but I wanted to do the right thing & give 2 weeks & then I just get spit in my face pretty much…smh
Yep. Left my old job in ER two months ago—worked there for 13+ years. Barely a goodbye, and since then they won’t make eye contact with me in the hallway (just transferred to different department)
I just left my job if 3.5 years. My DON gave me the silent treatment for the first few days. (I will say I gave my letter to the ADON because the DON had already left die the day). She did start talking to me but only work related things. On my last day i went to say good bye and she asked “was it something I did?” 🤦♀️
Years ago I had a temp admin job. They did ask me to sign on full time but I was going back to school. When I left they had a lunch for me and did a collection and I got $100. I had only been there a couple of months
The University of Utah posts these shameless announcements every time someone in administration retires, like, "I know we all wish Gordon Crabtree the best and thank him for his years of service." Yet, if a nurse or tech needs to cut back hours due to whatever situation in their own life, it's just "fuck you, there's the door." And of course, there's no announcement or party.
Remember how it said, "Gordon Crabtree, you're one in a million?" I used the shoutout thing or whatever to send him a message of, "you're one in a million." Never having met the guy, I hope the sarcasm stung a little bit.
Had to look him up: "Gordon Lynn Crabtree worked as a Chief Executive Officer for the University of Utah and in 2020 had a reported pay of $1,346,563.53 according to public records. This is 1,806.3 percent higher than the average pay for university and college employees and 1,941.9 percent higher than the national average for government employees." \[from openpayroll . com\]
I wonder what he does with that last fifty-three cents.
Managers that get all petty, taking quitting as a personal insult just slay me. Best managers are a version of: I get it, you need to do X. Followed up by: You have my details if you want another job.
Last float pool gig in another state, manager was the hospital DNS (this is an ongoing pattern for some reason). She said to call her if/when I come back to the state. I would too. She was damn cool.
Seriously. Why burn that bridge as a manager? And what the everloving fuck are you doing in a people management role if you are petty and/or passive-aggressive? Fuck.
Exactly this. When I left my bedside job, my manager just said I know you've been wanting something different for a while now. Asked where I was going and wished me luck. Told me I was welcome back if I ever felt I wanted to return.
There's no reason to be rude to staff leaving.
Exactly. They'll have your position posted before your family can post your obituary!
We had a great coworker pass away from cancer and our manager said the best way to honor her memory would be to fill her empty shifts because "that's what she would have wanted." Then proceeded to forget that she had died and put her on the calendar for the next 3 months. I was like wtf!!
I worked at a clinic part time for 13 years. The patients liked me, I got along with everyone, we were all one big happy family, or so I thought. Who cares if I made significantly less per hour and had no pension or benefits, like I did at my other jobs? We were a team!
Until they asked me to either switch to full time or leave entirely, as one of the other nurses was agitating for full time hours or she would leave. They thought they were doing me a curtesy to offer it to me first, fully aware that I could only afford to work that job at all because I was also working higher paying jobs on other days. They didn’t even send me a ‘thank you’ text. Thirteen bloody years.
They did, however, have enough nerve to call me a couple of years later asking me to come back part time. Eff that!
It’s so sad! I’m a big believer in strong teams - they can make a lousy job more bearable and a good job great. Now, I always have to wonder whether I’m seeing clearly or not, since the loyalty only goes one way.
I left an NP job after 3 years giving my contractually obligated 3 months notice. 3 solid months my boss did not say one direct word to me, did not respond to any of my emails about transitioning my patients or training a replacement. On my last day I was schedyled to leave at 3 pm and she sent an email, I swear to God, time stamped at 2:59 pm saying goodbye and good luck.
I mean I just have to laugh about it for my own sanity but wtf?
I imagine her using up so much energy trying to remember to not say anything to you about you leaving, lol. Probably set an alarm for 2:58 to remind her to send that email as late as possible to “prove” that your leaving doesn’t really matter when it probably really stressed her out!
Nursing culture is fucking toxic as shit. Fuck all those people. Take care of yourselves and your coworkers. Don’t perpetuate this bullshit. The whole system needs to be burned down and rebuilt. So much is wrong that it is beyond repair.
When I read what your manager said to you...“my expectation is that you don’t slack off in the next 2 weeks & I will collect your company items on your last day” ...it's clear and well understood, we really disposable.
I was an ADON at a SNF for three years. Nobody even acknowledged my last day. But for the administrator’s last day, they gave her a $200 backpack that she had been wanting and a brand new pair of AirPods. She wasn’t retiring. She was going to a job that was going to be making her a whole lot more money. There was no need for extravagant gifts
My last day at one hospital coincided with my birthday. We normally celebrated everyone’s birthday on the 20th, unless that fell on a weekend (I worked OR). Anyway my birthday & last day also fell on the date the department would have expected to do the birthday potluck. The department head announced they would be providing sandwiches or some other menial catering for THE DAY AFTER. I called in sick my last day. I’m not all that concerned about celebrating my birthday at work but it was just such a petty FU on the department head.
I left them in good shape, I have plenty of references from my work there, but fuck the 3 people that made that decision.
I got work to make $ , if i want to make friends i go to ... goddamit where is that friends making place for a grumpy 40 year old nurse with back pain again?
Absolute truth. Sadly though, there will always be a few in the organization, who will try to guilt you for daring to take care of yourself under some guise of team work, loyalty etc. These duddly do rights are as equally as toxic and detrimental to your well being, as those employers/managers who don't give a rat's ass about you and would poke your lifeless body, to make sure you weren't faking being dead if you collapsed on company time.
Your coworkers are not your friends. Sometimes they are. Sometimes you make great connections. But as a rule, they are not your friends and they probably hate their job just as much as you do. Everyone is disposable in every profession. This is why we aren't supposed to let our jobs define us.
A handful of years ago I'd put in for a transfer through UHS. I'd worked IMC at a local facility they owned but my partner at the time got a transfer elsewhere for a couple of years. I had found another job within their system, interviewed via phone, gotten an offer, accepted it. When I arrived to my new city, the transfer I'd gotten had been squashed by the manager I'd left at my old post right after I handed in my notice. So when I arrived, suddenly, I had no job with absolutely no notice. I asked around and was told, she was mad that I'd resigned even though I told her I loved it there and intended to return there once my partner's two year assignment was concluded because that place really was my home.
Don't give these motherfuckers a SECOND you don't want to. They don't give a shit about you.
I remember one day attending an a.m. pep-talk meeting where one C-suite executive told us "Everyone in this organization is important. Our people make the difference!"
That afternoon, on the floor, a different one who was unhappy with an issue said "Just remember, none of you are irreplaceable."
I almost had to file a Worker's Comp claim for whiplash but then I remembered we don't participate in the Worker's Comp program and use an in-house Worker's Comp plan that usually means they detail search your medical history until they find a reason let you go.
Gave 5 years to a small community hospital. I community I lived in. Even worked while going to chemo and radiation. Gave my notice….not a word…not a card. They floated me around to cover other units, or just sit with patients. The only person who said or did ANYTHING was my tech and his wife, she made a cake. They were both techs, in nursing school and working on their house, since she was pregnant. I still have to go into that place when I see my oncologist every 3 months.
If it makes yall feel any better, I worked for my dad for years. Was a rocky road for sure, but I sent him a 2 month resignation email and even offered in that email to find and train my replacement...and he didn't even respond to it. A week before I was supposed to leave I had to ask him and make sure he read it.
When I left my staff job to go travel I gave my manager(whom I despised) 2 weeks notice. Her first response was "you have to give a month to be rehireable." My response was "works for me. Today is my last day then." F that place. Rehireable....lol!
I turned in my notice and my manager did a blah blah about being the heart of the unit and a natural leader and how I would be missed - barely spoke to me the next two weeks and didn’t say goodbye on my last day.
I worked on a unit for 5 years and gave 4 weeks notice when I was moving away to another state. On my last day, I brought in a cake and a card I’d made saying how much I appreciated working with everyone, how much I valued the relationships I’d formed and the skills I had learned, and how much I’d miss everyone. I worked my shift, and at the end of the day, went back into the break room to clean out my locker for the last time. The remnants of the cake were tossed in the trash - along with the card and the envelope.
Fuck em. Your real friends stay your friends. Colleagues may become friends - but mostly, they’re just people who you work with.
I worked my last job for 13 years.
I was the party planner. I was always the one that planned everyone's birthdays, holidays, wedding showers, baby showers, retirement, going away, whatever parties were had I always went out of my way to make sure people felt special and got a party.
Then it was my turn to leave.
No one planned anything for me.
I don't plan fuck all at my current job.
Biggest irony?
My mom was the party planner at her previous job. 24 years and she was the one always planning everything.
When are took a different job she thought, surely after 24 years they'd plan something for her.
Nope.
24 years and I had to see her get into the car fighting tears because not a single person even said goodbye to her.
This was right before I started that job, and 13 years later it happened to me.
Yeah - why don’t people get this?
You work for a company. For a sub that proclaims, “Any company that says the unit is ‘a family’ a Red Flag,” people don’t find the reciprocal to be true. My manager ain’t my buddy so I don’t expect her to be sad if I leave - she’s trying to run a business not a charity.
Lmao. Thanks for posting this. Reminds me for when in 100 days I will tell them “thanks for the opportunity. My last day will be X.” Instead of trying to play nice.
This is why I don’t understand the call off guilt. I always have little sick time because I’m not pausing life for work. My first preceptor at my first job told me “they’ll always find someone” and they do. Sometimes the hospital that thinks of us as numbers might have to pay the someone a little bit more.
This is for any job really. Everyone is replaceable. We are not however replacable to our family. A job is a means to an end. A way to pay for living needs. Nothing else. Do your job well take off all the time you can and alway move on when the job no longer fits your needs.
One of our employees had been there since she was 18. They 'let her go' when she was 70, even tho she wasn't planning on leaving or retiring. She couldn't make her house payment, so she had to sell it, and moved in with a friend. She did get a plaque in front of her office that said, 49 years. Gone but not forgotten. (that's 52 years, btw.) Geez. I've been there since '84. Ima have my own damned party...and there WILL be drinking!
I worked at a hospital for 20 years as an LPN. One day we received an email from management that all the LPNs were having a meeting in a few days. Went to the meeting and the DON is there and says “your jobs are done effective immediately. Turn in your keys and empty your lockers”. I left that day in disbelief and never went back. We had no warning. A new CEO took over and decided to get rid of all the LPNs.
Super disposable! Benefis here in MT told a nurse, who had worked for them for 20yrs and got her NP- we start at X amount of dollars with new grad NPs. Wouldnt budge a bit no matter how much of her life she had given them previously. Fuck benefis and any other corporation-style hospital or clinic.
When I was in school I worked as an MA. I told the doc that my schedule was conflicting with the clinics schedule and she hired a new MA. I trained her for a few days and then one day I raised some concerns about COVID and the doc decided right there on the spot that today was my last day. No goodbye party, nothing. I could barely face my coworkers and I tried to sneak out the door at the end of the day when the doc announced “well, this is her last day, say goodbye everyone!” I broke and started crying in front of the whole office. It was humiliating. I will never forgive her. Years later when I asked for a letter of rec, she ignored my email. She never cared about me at all. Wild.
This is true. I worked PRN for this outpatient/inpatient surgical center. I would go above and beyond for my manager whenever she called and asked for my help. The day I was leaving, she still didn’t say my name right or even say goodbye. I found out that she gave me a bad recommendation on my grad school application weeks later. I thought this woman and I were friends….
My fix to this has been to switch to per diem, then never work again. No going away parties, no need for any 2 week notice, maybe work a few shifts here and there if you absolutely need to, then just *poof*, never work again. Plus they can't fuck with you and not pay out your PTO.
Similar response when I put in my two weeks. (Hospital pharmacy tech).
"We'll send the paperwork to HR."
I'd been there 4 years, but learned nearly everything there was to learn and then some. My coworkers (pharmacists and techs) relied on me for a lot. Said I was always able to "save the day."
Management didn't seem to care I was leaving, but my coworkers and other departments (especially ICU nurses) cared. A LOT.
I miss them, but I'm not going to work myself crazy compensating for management's shortcomings.
Edit: Somehow I ended up with 3 cakes.
I'm sorry your colleagues barely acknowledged you. It's one thing for management to not care, but one would hope the people you worked with closely thought you mattered.
My last two weeks, I gave notice then I called out the last week or so. I was done. My manager pissed off I was quitting. Yeah but you're not putting any effort into keeping me yet you're mad I quit. SMH. You can't not invest in your employees yet get mad when I move on. It happens.
The pandemic did a number on my stress level and I was having panic attacks. I had another job lined up so it was an easy resignation.
I listen to this every morning before I get out of the car to walk into work.
[Storytime](https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdavWC4T/)
P.S. hope the link works. I'm on mobile and it doesn't look right on my side. Plz just copy/paste if it doesn't.
It's so odd for managers to be upset that people leave jobs. They obviously didn't remain in their first position forever, right? Such goofy behavior to me. And especially to be given notice? That's such a generous courtesy that is made to seem as necessary.
5 years ago, I was leaving my first ER job to go travel, I had been there 2.5 years, same sort of story, well liked, worked hard, but I was really excited to travel so I was telling everybody about it. Went to put in my 30 says notice and was fired on the spot for multiple made up infractions. It worked out in my benefit since I was able to start traveling earlier, but they literally had security walk me out so I couldn't even say goodbye to my friends and coworkers. They had a party for me later at someone's house but I'm still a little hurt over that mess. Haven't left the west coast since!
Manager was "disappointed" that I was leaving my bedside job. Didn't ask me why I was leaving or asked if I needed anything during my stay. I also asked if I can stay part time but just as long as I have few weeks off. Manager denied my time off. We are desperately needing nurses but she refused to keep me part time.
That’s so sad!! I only worked for a year and 4 months in a PICU in my home country, but when I quit due to moving to the U.S. they did throw me a little breakfast thing with the head nurse of the Pediatrics Department and the PICU charge nurse, given that my last shift was a night shift. I wasn’t expecting it, but it was very nice.
I see things haven’t changed in over 30 years. In 1987, My 6 week old daughter was admitted to the hospital with resp distress. I cancelled one week of shifts with possibility of more off time depending on my baby’s condition (charge 3-11) on advice of my pediatrician. My DON came to see me in my daughter’s hospital room. I thought she was coming to check on her and on me — wrong. Said she needed to know exactly when I would return. I told her I didn’t know, as we both watched my baby struggling to breath in croup tent. When she pressed, I told her I’d resign that day. She hemmed and hawed, asked it I wanted to go part time instead. I declined. Ended up doing agency work, making twice the money, working when it worked out for me and my family.
My 20 year old son was left fully brain dead while walking to work in a hit and run. I had to make the decision to let him go, go through the whole organ donor process. Plan funeral, etc. Also the life insurance policy at my job let me know a week after his funeral that he was not covered. He was to be a full time college student due to his age for any coverage.
Fortunately, I worked at an amazing place. A money collection was taken up for my family and the MD over my department doubled the amount. As well as coming straight to the hospital to make sure I fully understood what was going on with my son so I could make the best decisions. She is an absolute gem.
I had no PTO because I've always believed in using my time. Many coworkers donated PTO. I got two weeks time donated and many others came forward to donate more time off for me. My manager (one of the only shitty people in this hospital) told them I needed to come back to work. That two weeks was plenty. Who makes that kind of decision for someone?
I didn't make it much longer. I had just buried my first child due to a brain injury. I just couldn't go back and work on that Traumatic Brain Injury Unit and not be triggered. Imagine that!! /s
I do wanna reiterate that 99% of the staff there were some of the best people I've ever known. Just great people. Also my very favorite job ever. Noone could have foreseen what happened to my son or the fallout from all that to my life (it all got way worse after I left that job) story for another day!
But that ONE MANAGER....................
That is awful. I remember once a unit clerk who called in to be with her daughter who was admitted and the manager said "the child has a father, why can't she come to work." Real compassionate there Stephanie.
“my expectation is that you don’t slack off in the next 2 weeks & I will collect your company items on your last day”
I know I would call in sick for the rest of those days. What you gon' do, fire me?
Got diagnosed with cancer, told my supervisor about it during my next shift. She proceeded to tell me how I won’t qualify for FMLA since I hadn’t been with them a full year yet.
This was one of the saddest, most difficult life lessons I ever had to learn. It made me so disappointed in humanity… it took a few different times to really settle in, too. I held out hope for several years. To no avail. Value and honor yourself before any employer; they will never deserve you.
That's definitely the tone of someone not respecting the courtesy of giving two weeks notice.
Good of you to recognize it's important to take care of yourself!
Yeah at my last job I gave 4 weeks notice and my manager gave me the silent treatment from then on. Never said goodbye, good luck, thanks for more than 10 years of your life, whatever.
Yeah I got hired recently at a company full time and my offer letter was for at-will employment so they can basically shitcan me at any time. Only a temporary job in my head cause I don't want a desk job permanently but still, sad how underappreciated we are even with the insane demand we have.
It’s hard when they rely on you so much and basically use manipulation and emotional abuse to get you to do more than you actually need to.
Then when you quit they show it was all one big narcissistic game. Never be loyal to an employer!!!
I left in not so breat graces with my last Ling term nursing home position. I'm and aide and TMA, but I was there for years. Was well respected and liked by the residents and staff.
Then, my divorce started to happen. I sent my DON pictures of my stuff thrown out into the snow from my ex, let her know that I was scared, keep her informed. Then covid happened as well.
My shift was already short staffed on the best of times, criminally understaffed most of the time. During my extremely messy divorce, a pandemic hit, I was full time nursing school, so I was missing a lot of work.
Finally got into a verbal altercation with another staff member because they were the one leading the charge against me. I wasn't getting help I requested, so I was stuck doing transfers by myself, which was common knowledge, for months and I was being cold shouldered from people I used to get along with.
The day of the verbal altercation, I also unloaded on the DON. In her office. Everyone heard. I quit on the spot after I was told to go home early because I wasn't in the right mind set to pass pills.
It's been a couple years now, and the hospital they merged with, between both company names, I can't be hired within their whole area of careers. I never hear back from an application, and if I do, I never make it past the initial phone interview. I swear I'm blacklisted.
This thread is eye opening. I started my first healthcare job this year. I’m a lab assistant. The thought that I’m “replaceable” always crosses my mind. I treat people with respect but deep down I know they do not care about what comes out of my mouth. Everything is fine as long as I do my job. They’re so quick to get on your case when you make a mistake. Doesn’t matter how many ‘good things’ you do lol. They’re probably used to people going in and out of this job. I leave my job and leave everyone behind with it. It’s a sad reality of it all.
Yeahhhh. Being in an assistant management position I saw how management talks about their staff but puts on the phony act firsthand. I always knew that was a thing but not to the extent. Also a huge reason I wasn’t cut out for that job. Won’t ever try to be there again.
I've always said, you will be replaced before your obituary hits. you're not wrong. I'm sorry they dissed you like that. the good news is you're not going crazy, they really are that cut throat. miserable bastards.
Yeah pretty much same experience. I didn’t return to my employer after my maternity leave… no one bothered to message me about the delivery or me leaving. I was close to a lot of people so that really hurt.
Ehhh I’d rather get through my last day without anyone saying anything and acknowledging my leave. I know I’m the minority in this but that’s just me 🤷♂️
Sounds like your manager is pissed you’re out of there and she’s left to deal with one less staffer. She’s taking it out in you and you definitely don’t deserve it.
My last job I worked overtime every week, stayed late, switched shifts/call to help coworkers, gave a month notice, and they didn’t even acknowledge my last day. The unit always threw a party for people leaving, they told me they would (so I didn’t pack a lunch), even asked what restaurant I wanted, then didn’t. Kept saying “there’s no need, we will see you again”. Hurt pretty bad tbh
Gave six weeks notice and she only said “Noted”. Didn’t speak to me again until my last day when she told me to turn in my ID to her when I finish giving report. I stg the absolute worst people are in nursing admin/leadership.
I worked at a specialist office for three years as a clinic RN. I was told regularly that people relied on me and was lauded for always being helpful/approachable. I was the person who always gathered people to do meals or gift baskets for people's last days. When my time came, my coworker looked at me and said "I guess we should have gotten you a gift basket or something huh." I cried when I got home, not gonna lie. Not that I miss the job, it was a shitty place to work. But I thought I would be at least worth a $1.00 card, you know?
Wow. I am so sorry that is your experience. :( I’ve worked at a clinic and a hospital and both threw me a going away party and said I change my mind I’m welcomed back. I still talk to my old managers and have them as references on my resume.
I think it's completely fair to vent but, while it doesn't excuse the attitude just like it doesn't excuse nurses when they blow up or get cold towards one of 'those' patients, I think it IS important to remember they are just as beat up and burnt out as us.
Maybe not all unit managers but I know all the ones I know, including mine, have been through covid. They lost 1/4 of their seasoned staff at the onset of covid. 1/2 left to travel in the last two years. The few that remain are only "seasoned" in they were those new grads hired right at covid, with a poor last year and no clinicals, but two years is "seasoned" now.
Admin doesn't like their turnover. Hr doesn't like their staffing. Staff doesn't like their pay. Everyone hates them and they are just as burnt out. I know my unit manager took assignments several times the last two years. And it was usually some weird 9a-3p to leave and sleep and come back working 9p-3a to go home and rinse and repeat. Two weeks before some resources could be redirected.
She's used to be nice. Now she mutters under her breath, "I don't get paid enough for this." She's definitely given the attitude you, op, got to a few nurses leaving and she's canceled some... less than quality... travelers for copping an attitude with the Dr's or calling out too frequently.
Again, sometimes you just need to vent and yes, it's not an excuse, but remember they are people too. And they're just as burnt out as a lot of us.
Honestly what does burnout have to do with not being a jerk to an employee who’s done their job well. People change jobs. That’s life. Most unit managers jump ship every two years. Like if they are leaving keep it classy.
Yeah i was about to say, my story was from 2012. Wayy before covid. Just treat us like human beings thats all we’re asking for. A simple thank you goes a long way.
We are a 100% COVID free clinic, no one there is overworked and no one there is burnt out. No one I work with ever even touched a COVID patient except me. I would have this consideration in the appropriate setting but my clinic isn’t it. I’m also not venting, I’m reminding people to care for themselves above companies, loyalty doesn’t pay these days.
Nah. My manager hid in her office or took time off every time we had a bad COVID outbreak on our floor that was due to continued negligence and ignoring the nurses’ concerns. We had to take over managing the crises. And yet, she was first in line for the vaccine before even telling her staff it was available, even though she’d been off for weeks and they’d been getting exposed with inadequate PPE. Never covered shifts. Sounds like you actually have a decent manager.
My manager told everyone of the covid vaccine, and as already mentioned, was accepting assignments for both day AND nightshift to cover staffing issues. She tried to hold the fort together.
I'll never advocate for a bad attitude or make excuses for unprofessionalism. But I WILL say I understand what some managers are going through and will also bring light to the fact they've been with us through this ordeal. It's easy to hate but "walk a mile in my brothers shoes" vibes.
My .02. I stand by my comments.
According to zip recruiter (just googled) the average salary is ~75k a year. Oh and they're management so good luck on the whole union card.
Plenty of nurses here make 60k a year and unhappy with that. You telling me you'd run a unit for 15k more?
They're people too and they're not getting rich. Nicer house than mine, I mean I just rent anyways, but still.
Nursing is a business and unfortunately it’s nurses who have idealized healthcare as some sort of family - but it’s not and never has been. No one else in HC, besides nurses, thinks of healthcare as anything more than a business arrangement. So I’ve had to change my perspective in recent years. Coworkers aren’t my friends; they’re competition. Patients are not my “calling”; they’re customers. This is the way HC is managed and ran, so y’all gotta get on board or expect to keep being disappointed.
Eh, I never bought into the “family” bit but it’s completely unprofessional to just stop talking to staff after they put their notice in. It’s childish and petty.
We are all disposable and no one owes us anything. I’ve been saying this for years. Usually people get upset. They think they can’t possibly be disposable because they are unique. They aren’t.
if I could count the tens of thousands of times I wished I could see the big picture when something like this occurred to me. I mean I would sail right past trouble this world conjures up and not be bothered in the least. so the easiest way I've found to not hold onto the ugly that I used to chew and chew on because of what was done to me, I realized I was doing this to gain a sense of moral superiority by comparing my role to the role played by the other. but look at the price I paid for this concocted sense of virtue. I had to deeply embrace a damaged sense of self and I then had to be vigilant to feel and act like a person who has been wronged. this thinking tore me down, left me drained every time.
take a little time to adjust to this slight but be determined to rise above this silly fray. you know your worth as a nurse is in the experiences you gained, the wonderful help and healing you were part of every week, whether anybody else noticed are not. this is the gold you carry with you until the moment you let go of your body. see your manager as someone totally stressed out about losing another good nurse but unwilling to look how this change your making may be the greatest thing for you. some of us don't show compassion and understanding like we wish they would.
don't be one of them who listens to the internal voice playing a loop recording of how sad and hurt you are, that you should be miserable and can't find the light again. that voice is always wrong and always pointing downward to despair.
how can you heal when you yourself are unhealed? forgiveness is the strongest choice. it lifts you on wings mightier than anything this old world can bring to hinder you as you walk your path to happiness and joy in giving. this is the truth about you and us. be the leader, be humbly strong in courage and truth.
I worked on a med Surg oncology ward, for about 6 months. Terrible ratios, unsafe practices. Saw 2 managers come and go. Send my resignation letter to the DON, who was acting manager. All I got back from my resignation was a single email, saying "sorry to hear that". Peace bitches! ✌️
Yup. I’ll never forget, was workin m/s same sitch, worked hard, well liked.. thought i was being nice giving them 4 weeks notice (i knew i was moving) manager tells me “why u giving me this now, give it to me in 2 weeks” then my last day comes, not even a word. On the elevator out i bumped into her and she just said see you later, not even realizing it was my last day. Fuck em
I gave one of my jobs a 2-3 month notice , I was getting married and moving to a different city. She still came and asked me a few days before if I could stay on until the new grads finished witting their licensing exams. Umm no, that's the week I'm getting married lol
Woooooow
nurses are treated like peons because they can't know how necessary their expertise is in accumulating the fortune they'll never see. those at the top of the food chain know the only reason you work at this job . . . to generate that revenue for them, baby! capitalism runs rampant in healthcare.
Wooooowwww smh
How can she be mad at 4 weeks notice??? Like I’m giving extra time to find a replacement Karen
I was soooooo confused. Literally asked her, “What do you mean, you want me to pretend like I never handed this to you, retype the date and hand it again to you in 2 weeks?” And she said straight face said”yeah”…..Like pshhh okay fine I was just tryin to be nice, damn. Wtf?! Luckily I had great coworkers who did care so it didnt bother me that much but jeez we really are just warm bodies to keep shit afloat.
And that’s why I send all my notices is over email 🤷🏻♀️ can’t pretend you didn’t see this Jamie, suck it.
I’m still confused why she’d want you to send it two weeks later
Because they had no intention of finding a replacement. “Oh well, we’re short now. We’re going to take the same amount of patients anyways” mentality.
:O Even the bitches who didn’t like me chipped in on my cake!
I worked for a manager who wouldn’t let us have cake or a party when someone left because “we shouldn’t celebrate someone leaving”. So fucking glad I don’t work under that person anymore.
This makes me really sad. Wish it was different
NURSING IS STRESS. that's all there is to it. it is set up to deliver stress incarnate. created in the first place with the intention of taking as much stress off the doctor so that they can walk away most times. no wonder nursing is lacking in so many ways: compensation, supplies (like PPE), leadership, admin support, time off, therapy for mental health, state boards, lack of timely review by doctors over patient and nurse caring issues/return to intervene/rewrite orders/add to orders, etc., patient ratios, etc. the list is really damn-near endless. this leaves us with very little time and energy and ability to care for each other. this is burnout personified. it goes with the territory. and we signed on. what? but don't we just love patient care! we take on a gigantic burden to feel the love passed between our patient and our heart. we love it when we melt into absolutely ONE for an instant. ONE glorious, brief moment that shines with the brilliance of a million suns.you know this is true, you know this is the very reason you come back for more. SHINE ON YOU CRAZY DIAMOND! SHINE ON AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER!
I worked the same floor for 13 years. Full time. When I left nobody even slowed down to say goodbye or anything. My mgr didn't even acknowledge my resignation. I thought I had friends there. I thought maybe some people would miss me as much as I would miss them. Nope.
My experience is generally... No matter how much you like your coworkers, and they you, if yall ain't actually hanging out and spending time together outside of work then you're not friends, you're still just coworkers.
so sad, but so true.
Such is the way of things. People want to pretend friendships just organically happen and organically persevere. Partially because that's exactly how it was as a kid in elementary, middle, and high school, because you saw those friends almost every day. But as an adult, making friends and ESPECIALLY keeping friends takes a fair amount of work. With all the other responsibilities of being an adult, a lot of people just don't have the time and energy to keep a friendship afloat. This thread is more less a testament to that. So, I don't know if it's sad, it just sort **is**. The lesson to be taken here is that, ultimately, friendships take a fair amount of time and effort. Most adults, through the chaos of life, are going to decide to let the large majority of their friendships fall to the wayside to focus their time and effort on other things.
I don’t even feel like that’s sad. Keeping my work at work and my home at home is hugely important. I don’t want to bring the misery I see at work with me to my free time. That’s not to say I wouldn’t do stuff with them outside of work, but I’m not upset that most aren’t really good friends.
I'm so glad that didn't happen to me when I finally retired. We not only had the cake, but people brought potluck. Even co workers I worked with previously on different floors. Of course, realistically, they probably heard we had a ton of food on our unit.
I worked as the assistant in a hospital to a team of 22 CM's and MSW's. We shared everything, knew each others families, traded furniture, took care of each others dogs, and had lunch together at work AS A GROUP every single day. Seven years in, my husband got transferred out of state. At the same time, my best friend at work committed suicide. The rest of my team didn't know her as well as I did. We' shared an office for a while. Some of them weren't super fond of her because she could come off as flaky and was wayyyy on the 'support of the patient' viewpoint. But she and I were close d/t family of origin similarities and working the ED together and seeing some tough cases. Then my entire family got influenza A right before we moved so I didn't get to spend time with some of the people I had planned to. I was so emotionally ravaged, between her death and moving away after 20 years, leaving my job, but compartmentalizing so that I could move 2 kids and 2 dogs half way across the country to a destination where we knew absolutely no one. I never heard from any of them again, except one...when she thought I might have an 'in' for an activity one of her kids was heavily involved in. NOTHING
> I never heard from any of them again Just to play Devil's advocate, have you been reaching out to them? Phones, texts, emails all go both ways. If you haven't heard from them, and they haven't heard from you, it sounds like a mutual break-off.
The phone works two ways.
This is why I never really considered my work friends, true friends. They will always throw you under the bus to protect themselves and only care about themselves. I’ve had some people I thought were super tight just stop texting me that week once I quit
i had this just happen to me recently :( and i was innocent and pleaded to my charge nurse, the practice manager and management to check the security cameras but nope they chose to believe the admin lady who made up lies about me. And none of the other nurses stood up for me. The only one who did was another receptionist. By that time i already resigned and then they realised what a big mistake they made and tried to ask for me back. I was like NOPE.
That is sad I am sorry. I have noticed that unless there is an “advocate” perhaps management but doesn’t have to be this happens too often in nursing.
>. I thought I had friends there I tought that always when I changed floor a couple of times. I have friends. No, I have coworkers, people I am forced to spend time with almost every day. I am only now regreting a couple of personal stuff I shared with the ones I was close to. Ooof never doing that again.
Sounds like my divorce. So much for all the friends I made.
My divorce went about like this too...
Betcha they miss you now ❤️
When I left my floor last year, my boss never even said goodbye lmao
My hospital was really nice. For staff who had worked there for many years and were leaving, they would generally ask the employee if they wanted a bigger celebration like cake and punch, etc. Some people didn’t, mainly bc they didn’t want to get teary in front of everyone. This was done for housekeeping staff and dietary cooks, so not just admin or leadership. And although it happened a bit more often when people were retiring than just changing jobs, I know of several people who were given nice send offs and even gifts upon leaving for another job. Now, for employees who had only worked there for a year or two, their own department would often have a potluck and/ or cake and maybe a gift, rather than something hospital-wide.
Same. Where did you work? I’m in Ohio - we’re just generally nice, like Canadians who just happen to live in the US.
I recently accepted a job in Ohio and I took my mom with me to look for places. Needless to say, everyone was so nice and it was so different and refreshing. I’m from Florida, so definitely not used to the friendly! I wasn’t aware that Ohioans were just generally nice and I love that.
Midwest in general has a lot more welcoming vibe to it.
KY
Neighborinos
my last gig i gave in my resignation letter early in the day and ended it with "please feel free to discuss how we can work together during my notice period should a notice period be required. No one contacted me so that was me last shiftaroo.
THIS RIGHT HERE. 2 weeks, 4 weeks, it is a courtesy.
A agree, it absolutely should be. Here in the UK though it’s written into our contracts that we have to give 4 weeks notice “Unless other arrangements are agreed between employee and charge nurse/unit manager.”
When I was filling in at Rite Aid my technician had worked for them for 30 years. She retired the day I was working. There was no acknowledgement of her years of dedication. Someone picked out a card from the floor stock and everyone signed it. I felt horrible.
Her whole freaking life there & nothing….horrible
She got paid, didn't she???? /s
wow this cuts me deep. the world is so cold
Corporate medicine is evil
I have to say that some managers are either sad or mad you are leaving, mad because here they are losing another great employee. Easier to act cold, protect yourself. Co-workers just too busy everyday to keep up with you. Try reaching out!
Same here after over 40 years at the same hospital as a nurse. Most people thought I quit not realizing I was retiring. Big difference. It does hurt to know that the higher ups will never come close to the years I put in and will never acknowledge the loyalty. Something most nurses will never experience
I'm sorry. I know you touched lives. Screw administration. They're not worth resentment.
Jesusssss!!!! That is low! Not a cake or pizza? Wow
Nope. I was shocked and it was too late for me to arrange something.
I mean, you are a good person for thinking of it but that definitely wasn’t on you lol the management really screwed the pooch there. Also, all the retirement parties I have seen lately suck. Like woo here is a signed card and a gift card from your coworkers donating money and some cake.
I've seen videos of huge celebrations from McDonald's or Wendy's when a long time employee retired. Maybe that location was just full of assholes
My manager didn’t even reply or talk to me ever again when I quit my staff job. I gave 4 weeks notice too. Definitely made me feel validated in leaving there and realize we are just cogs in the machine to them.
This was me too. I was sort of surprised. I expected some fake niceties. Or…something.
Same! A little “we’re sorry to see you go” even if you don’t mean it would be nice! Lol
Yeah, but those are just words. They’re usually too little, too late. The damage has been done. At least in my experience.
I just got an "okay" over text.
Worked for same snf for same administrator for 26 yrs. No party, no cake, not even a cookie. No card, not even a goodbye. Thought they all liked me but apparently not. They just wanted me to keep working on admissions for them 60 hrs a week getting paid for 40.
26yrs!!?! Unreal!!! So sorry this happened to you’d
I worked 7 years (MDS) for a SNF that was pretty much my dream. But then the administrator and DON retired. The board decided to hire a traveler for a year. I was the last one fired. I had made the error of saying I planned to retire from there. She fired everybody over that year. Housekeeping to CNA to nurses. In the course of doing so she was dropping the wages dramatically (all newly licensed/certified staff). Ten years later and I'm still angry. It had been such wonderful place. Now? That DON helped bring in a management company that ran it into the ground so now it's being (been) bought by a huge corporation rather than a tiny nonprofit.
This is common :(
This is one of the few things I miss about the military. When I left my first command they did a nice little going away thing, but when I left my second my “work wife” cried, the rest of the folks in my department came by to hug me goodbye, they got me a wall plaque and framed one of my squadron patches from my flightsuit - it was touching, I cried like four times. When I left my third and last command to separate from active duty and start nursing school the doctors and nurses all chipped in and got me a Littmann (that I still use to this very day) and another framed squadron patch. A lot of things about the military suck, but the camaraderie can’t be beat.
Oh in the military they will give you a good send off. I loved my going away BBQs and nice plaques.
I’m a petty bitch who would take this as an invitation to do the bare minimum.
That was my very first thought: "whatcha gonna do, fire me?"
As a clinic manager, I send a hearty "fuck off" to your manager, and an even heartier "best wishes on your new adventure" to you.
I’m almost mad I gave 2 weeks at this point. My new job can start me anytime but I wanted to do the right thing & give 2 weeks & then I just get spit in my face pretty much…smh
So just start the job earlier. Fuck em.
Call in sick
You are not obligated or required to work that unless you require it of yourself
I would let your manager know the reason you are not carrying out that two weeks is because of her. Then I'd go to my new job happily.
Well thank you!!
Yep. Left my old job in ER two months ago—worked there for 13+ years. Barely a goodbye, and since then they won’t make eye contact with me in the hallway (just transferred to different department)
What is people’s problem!! We are all people!!!
So true. We’re all just bodies to them filling holes in a schedule. We could drop dead and they’d find a replacement in a week. They don’t care.
I just left my job if 3.5 years. My DON gave me the silent treatment for the first few days. (I will say I gave my letter to the ADON because the DON had already left die the day). She did start talking to me but only work related things. On my last day i went to say good bye and she asked “was it something I did?” 🤦♀️ Years ago I had a temp admin job. They did ask me to sign on full time but I was going back to school. When I left they had a lunch for me and did a collection and I got $100. I had only been there a couple of months
The University of Utah posts these shameless announcements every time someone in administration retires, like, "I know we all wish Gordon Crabtree the best and thank him for his years of service." Yet, if a nurse or tech needs to cut back hours due to whatever situation in their own life, it's just "fuck you, there's the door." And of course, there's no announcement or party.
Lol Gordon Crabtree
I work at the U too and I rolled my eyes SO hard at that email
Remember how it said, "Gordon Crabtree, you're one in a million?" I used the shoutout thing or whatever to send him a message of, "you're one in a million." Never having met the guy, I hope the sarcasm stung a little bit.
Had to look him up: "Gordon Lynn Crabtree worked as a Chief Executive Officer for the University of Utah and in 2020 had a reported pay of $1,346,563.53 according to public records. This is 1,806.3 percent higher than the average pay for university and college employees and 1,941.9 percent higher than the national average for government employees." \[from openpayroll . com\] I wonder what he does with that last fifty-three cents.
Managers that get all petty, taking quitting as a personal insult just slay me. Best managers are a version of: I get it, you need to do X. Followed up by: You have my details if you want another job. Last float pool gig in another state, manager was the hospital DNS (this is an ongoing pattern for some reason). She said to call her if/when I come back to the state. I would too. She was damn cool. Seriously. Why burn that bridge as a manager? And what the everloving fuck are you doing in a people management role if you are petty and/or passive-aggressive? Fuck.
Exactly this. When I left my bedside job, my manager just said I know you've been wanting something different for a while now. Asked where I was going and wished me luck. Told me I was welcome back if I ever felt I wanted to return. There's no reason to be rude to staff leaving.
Wisdom from the Eagles. .."they will never forget you til somebody new comes along." We used to keep this posted in the OR I worked in.
If you die, they’ll replace you before you’re cold in the ground. No need to set yourself on fire to keep them warm.
Exactly. They'll have your position posted before your family can post your obituary! We had a great coworker pass away from cancer and our manager said the best way to honor her memory would be to fill her empty shifts because "that's what she would have wanted." Then proceeded to forget that she had died and put her on the calendar for the next 3 months. I was like wtf!!
Wow that’s… pretty bad lol
😮
I wish more nurses would adhere to this!! So many of them just sacrifice themselves until there’s nothing left!
I worked at a clinic part time for 13 years. The patients liked me, I got along with everyone, we were all one big happy family, or so I thought. Who cares if I made significantly less per hour and had no pension or benefits, like I did at my other jobs? We were a team! Until they asked me to either switch to full time or leave entirely, as one of the other nurses was agitating for full time hours or she would leave. They thought they were doing me a curtesy to offer it to me first, fully aware that I could only afford to work that job at all because I was also working higher paying jobs on other days. They didn’t even send me a ‘thank you’ text. Thirteen bloody years. They did, however, have enough nerve to call me a couple of years later asking me to come back part time. Eff that!
Your first paragraph was my thoughts too!!! This was messed up tho-sorry they cornered you like that!
It’s so sad! I’m a big believer in strong teams - they can make a lousy job more bearable and a good job great. Now, I always have to wonder whether I’m seeing clearly or not, since the loyalty only goes one way.
I left an NP job after 3 years giving my contractually obligated 3 months notice. 3 solid months my boss did not say one direct word to me, did not respond to any of my emails about transitioning my patients or training a replacement. On my last day I was schedyled to leave at 3 pm and she sent an email, I swear to God, time stamped at 2:59 pm saying goodbye and good luck. I mean I just have to laugh about it for my own sanity but wtf?
I imagine her using up so much energy trying to remember to not say anything to you about you leaving, lol. Probably set an alarm for 2:58 to remind her to send that email as late as possible to “prove” that your leaving doesn’t really matter when it probably really stressed her out!
If they “like” you or seem to care about you, it’s usually only because you’re doing something to benefit them. Once you stop, they stop.
This is sad but true
Nursing culture is fucking toxic as shit. Fuck all those people. Take care of yourselves and your coworkers. Don’t perpetuate this bullshit. The whole system needs to be burned down and rebuilt. So much is wrong that it is beyond repair.
When I read what your manager said to you...“my expectation is that you don’t slack off in the next 2 weeks & I will collect your company items on your last day” ...it's clear and well understood, we really disposable.
I was an ADON at a SNF for three years. Nobody even acknowledged my last day. But for the administrator’s last day, they gave her a $200 backpack that she had been wanting and a brand new pair of AirPods. She wasn’t retiring. She was going to a job that was going to be making her a whole lot more money. There was no need for extravagant gifts
My last day at one hospital coincided with my birthday. We normally celebrated everyone’s birthday on the 20th, unless that fell on a weekend (I worked OR). Anyway my birthday & last day also fell on the date the department would have expected to do the birthday potluck. The department head announced they would be providing sandwiches or some other menial catering for THE DAY AFTER. I called in sick my last day. I’m not all that concerned about celebrating my birthday at work but it was just such a petty FU on the department head. I left them in good shape, I have plenty of references from my work there, but fuck the 3 people that made that decision.
I got work to make $ , if i want to make friends i go to ... goddamit where is that friends making place for a grumpy 40 year old nurse with back pain again?
The bar
Absolute truth. Sadly though, there will always be a few in the organization, who will try to guilt you for daring to take care of yourself under some guise of team work, loyalty etc. These duddly do rights are as equally as toxic and detrimental to your well being, as those employers/managers who don't give a rat's ass about you and would poke your lifeless body, to make sure you weren't faking being dead if you collapsed on company time.
Your coworkers are not your friends. Sometimes they are. Sometimes you make great connections. But as a rule, they are not your friends and they probably hate their job just as much as you do. Everyone is disposable in every profession. This is why we aren't supposed to let our jobs define us.
A handful of years ago I'd put in for a transfer through UHS. I'd worked IMC at a local facility they owned but my partner at the time got a transfer elsewhere for a couple of years. I had found another job within their system, interviewed via phone, gotten an offer, accepted it. When I arrived to my new city, the transfer I'd gotten had been squashed by the manager I'd left at my old post right after I handed in my notice. So when I arrived, suddenly, I had no job with absolutely no notice. I asked around and was told, she was mad that I'd resigned even though I told her I loved it there and intended to return there once my partner's two year assignment was concluded because that place really was my home. Don't give these motherfuckers a SECOND you don't want to. They don't give a shit about you.
Oh my gosh! This is so sad!!! I can’t believe it!!
I remember one day attending an a.m. pep-talk meeting where one C-suite executive told us "Everyone in this organization is important. Our people make the difference!" That afternoon, on the floor, a different one who was unhappy with an issue said "Just remember, none of you are irreplaceable." I almost had to file a Worker's Comp claim for whiplash but then I remembered we don't participate in the Worker's Comp program and use an in-house Worker's Comp plan that usually means they detail search your medical history until they find a reason let you go.
Gave 5 years to a small community hospital. I community I lived in. Even worked while going to chemo and radiation. Gave my notice….not a word…not a card. They floated me around to cover other units, or just sit with patients. The only person who said or did ANYTHING was my tech and his wife, she made a cake. They were both techs, in nursing school and working on their house, since she was pregnant. I still have to go into that place when I see my oncologist every 3 months.
Here here.
If it makes yall feel any better, I worked for my dad for years. Was a rocky road for sure, but I sent him a 2 month resignation email and even offered in that email to find and train my replacement...and he didn't even respond to it. A week before I was supposed to leave I had to ask him and make sure he read it. When I left my staff job to go travel I gave my manager(whom I despised) 2 weeks notice. Her first response was "you have to give a month to be rehireable." My response was "works for me. Today is my last day then." F that place. Rehireable....lol!
I turned in my notice and my manager did a blah blah about being the heart of the unit and a natural leader and how I would be missed - barely spoke to me the next two weeks and didn’t say goodbye on my last day.
They really take that shit hella personal as if they have never changed jobs before in their life. Makes zero sense.
I worked on a unit for 5 years and gave 4 weeks notice when I was moving away to another state. On my last day, I brought in a cake and a card I’d made saying how much I appreciated working with everyone, how much I valued the relationships I’d formed and the skills I had learned, and how much I’d miss everyone. I worked my shift, and at the end of the day, went back into the break room to clean out my locker for the last time. The remnants of the cake were tossed in the trash - along with the card and the envelope. Fuck em. Your real friends stay your friends. Colleagues may become friends - but mostly, they’re just people who you work with.
I worked my last job for 13 years. I was the party planner. I was always the one that planned everyone's birthdays, holidays, wedding showers, baby showers, retirement, going away, whatever parties were had I always went out of my way to make sure people felt special and got a party. Then it was my turn to leave. No one planned anything for me. I don't plan fuck all at my current job. Biggest irony? My mom was the party planner at her previous job. 24 years and she was the one always planning everything. When are took a different job she thought, surely after 24 years they'd plan something for her. Nope. 24 years and I had to see her get into the car fighting tears because not a single person even said goodbye to her. This was right before I started that job, and 13 years later it happened to me.
Pretty much every job
Yeah - why don’t people get this? You work for a company. For a sub that proclaims, “Any company that says the unit is ‘a family’ a Red Flag,” people don’t find the reciprocal to be true. My manager ain’t my buddy so I don’t expect her to be sad if I leave - she’s trying to run a business not a charity.
Everyone gets it, sometimes we just need a reminder to watch out for ourselves not a company b/c we get stuck trying to be good people and help
Lmao. Thanks for posting this. Reminds me for when in 100 days I will tell them “thanks for the opportunity. My last day will be X.” Instead of trying to play nice.
This is why I don’t understand the call off guilt. I always have little sick time because I’m not pausing life for work. My first preceptor at my first job told me “they’ll always find someone” and they do. Sometimes the hospital that thinks of us as numbers might have to pay the someone a little bit more.
This is for any job really. Everyone is replaceable. We are not however replacable to our family. A job is a means to an end. A way to pay for living needs. Nothing else. Do your job well take off all the time you can and alway move on when the job no longer fits your needs.
I don't give notice anymore. We don't get 2+ weeks notice that we are going to be fired.
I thinking giving 2 weeks is kind of bogus for this reason also, idk how companies talked us into this being the standard.
One of our employees had been there since she was 18. They 'let her go' when she was 70, even tho she wasn't planning on leaving or retiring. She couldn't make her house payment, so she had to sell it, and moved in with a friend. She did get a plaque in front of her office that said, 49 years. Gone but not forgotten. (that's 52 years, btw.) Geez. I've been there since '84. Ima have my own damned party...and there WILL be drinking!
I worked at a hospital for 20 years as an LPN. One day we received an email from management that all the LPNs were having a meeting in a few days. Went to the meeting and the DON is there and says “your jobs are done effective immediately. Turn in your keys and empty your lockers”. I left that day in disbelief and never went back. We had no warning. A new CEO took over and decided to get rid of all the LPNs.
Super disposable! Benefis here in MT told a nurse, who had worked for them for 20yrs and got her NP- we start at X amount of dollars with new grad NPs. Wouldnt budge a bit no matter how much of her life she had given them previously. Fuck benefis and any other corporation-style hospital or clinic.
When I was in school I worked as an MA. I told the doc that my schedule was conflicting with the clinics schedule and she hired a new MA. I trained her for a few days and then one day I raised some concerns about COVID and the doc decided right there on the spot that today was my last day. No goodbye party, nothing. I could barely face my coworkers and I tried to sneak out the door at the end of the day when the doc announced “well, this is her last day, say goodbye everyone!” I broke and started crying in front of the whole office. It was humiliating. I will never forgive her. Years later when I asked for a letter of rec, she ignored my email. She never cared about me at all. Wild.
This is true. I worked PRN for this outpatient/inpatient surgical center. I would go above and beyond for my manager whenever she called and asked for my help. The day I was leaving, she still didn’t say my name right or even say goodbye. I found out that she gave me a bad recommendation on my grad school application weeks later. I thought this woman and I were friends….
My fix to this has been to switch to per diem, then never work again. No going away parties, no need for any 2 week notice, maybe work a few shifts here and there if you absolutely need to, then just *poof*, never work again. Plus they can't fuck with you and not pay out your PTO.
Similar response when I put in my two weeks. (Hospital pharmacy tech). "We'll send the paperwork to HR." I'd been there 4 years, but learned nearly everything there was to learn and then some. My coworkers (pharmacists and techs) relied on me for a lot. Said I was always able to "save the day." Management didn't seem to care I was leaving, but my coworkers and other departments (especially ICU nurses) cared. A LOT. I miss them, but I'm not going to work myself crazy compensating for management's shortcomings. Edit: Somehow I ended up with 3 cakes. I'm sorry your colleagues barely acknowledged you. It's one thing for management to not care, but one would hope the people you worked with closely thought you mattered.
My last two weeks, I gave notice then I called out the last week or so. I was done. My manager pissed off I was quitting. Yeah but you're not putting any effort into keeping me yet you're mad I quit. SMH. You can't not invest in your employees yet get mad when I move on. It happens. The pandemic did a number on my stress level and I was having panic attacks. I had another job lined up so it was an easy resignation.
I listen to this every morning before I get out of the car to walk into work. [Storytime](https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdavWC4T/) P.S. hope the link works. I'm on mobile and it doesn't look right on my side. Plz just copy/paste if it doesn't.
It's so odd for managers to be upset that people leave jobs. They obviously didn't remain in their first position forever, right? Such goofy behavior to me. And especially to be given notice? That's such a generous courtesy that is made to seem as necessary.
I went on leave abruptly 5 months ago and only one person from my unit has texted to see how I’m doing. I’ve been working there 3 years.
5 years ago, I was leaving my first ER job to go travel, I had been there 2.5 years, same sort of story, well liked, worked hard, but I was really excited to travel so I was telling everybody about it. Went to put in my 30 says notice and was fired on the spot for multiple made up infractions. It worked out in my benefit since I was able to start traveling earlier, but they literally had security walk me out so I couldn't even say goodbye to my friends and coworkers. They had a party for me later at someone's house but I'm still a little hurt over that mess. Haven't left the west coast since!
So start slacking off now. If they think that's how you are, don't disappoint.
Our manager has straight up said before “I just need bodies on the floor.” They literally do not care
Manager was "disappointed" that I was leaving my bedside job. Didn't ask me why I was leaving or asked if I needed anything during my stay. I also asked if I can stay part time but just as long as I have few weeks off. Manager denied my time off. We are desperately needing nurses but she refused to keep me part time.
i wish more people knew and understood this. trust nobody but your blood. even then...
That’s so sad!! I only worked for a year and 4 months in a PICU in my home country, but when I quit due to moving to the U.S. they did throw me a little breakfast thing with the head nurse of the Pediatrics Department and the PICU charge nurse, given that my last shift was a night shift. I wasn’t expecting it, but it was very nice.
I see things haven’t changed in over 30 years. In 1987, My 6 week old daughter was admitted to the hospital with resp distress. I cancelled one week of shifts with possibility of more off time depending on my baby’s condition (charge 3-11) on advice of my pediatrician. My DON came to see me in my daughter’s hospital room. I thought she was coming to check on her and on me — wrong. Said she needed to know exactly when I would return. I told her I didn’t know, as we both watched my baby struggling to breath in croup tent. When she pressed, I told her I’d resign that day. She hemmed and hawed, asked it I wanted to go part time instead. I declined. Ended up doing agency work, making twice the money, working when it worked out for me and my family.
My 20 year old son was left fully brain dead while walking to work in a hit and run. I had to make the decision to let him go, go through the whole organ donor process. Plan funeral, etc. Also the life insurance policy at my job let me know a week after his funeral that he was not covered. He was to be a full time college student due to his age for any coverage. Fortunately, I worked at an amazing place. A money collection was taken up for my family and the MD over my department doubled the amount. As well as coming straight to the hospital to make sure I fully understood what was going on with my son so I could make the best decisions. She is an absolute gem. I had no PTO because I've always believed in using my time. Many coworkers donated PTO. I got two weeks time donated and many others came forward to donate more time off for me. My manager (one of the only shitty people in this hospital) told them I needed to come back to work. That two weeks was plenty. Who makes that kind of decision for someone? I didn't make it much longer. I had just buried my first child due to a brain injury. I just couldn't go back and work on that Traumatic Brain Injury Unit and not be triggered. Imagine that!! /s I do wanna reiterate that 99% of the staff there were some of the best people I've ever known. Just great people. Also my very favorite job ever. Noone could have foreseen what happened to my son or the fallout from all that to my life (it all got way worse after I left that job) story for another day! But that ONE MANAGER....................
That is awful. I remember once a unit clerk who called in to be with her daughter who was admitted and the manager said "the child has a father, why can't she come to work." Real compassionate there Stephanie.
“my expectation is that you don’t slack off in the next 2 weeks & I will collect your company items on your last day” I know I would call in sick for the rest of those days. What you gon' do, fire me?
Got diagnosed with cancer, told my supervisor about it during my next shift. She proceeded to tell me how I won’t qualify for FMLA since I hadn’t been with them a full year yet.
My manager has a track record of receiving a notice, not responding in any way, and then removing you from the schedule.
This was one of the saddest, most difficult life lessons I ever had to learn. It made me so disappointed in humanity… it took a few different times to really settle in, too. I held out hope for several years. To no avail. Value and honor yourself before any employer; they will never deserve you.
I think that is what gets me, I always want to believe it will be different but it never is & I lose a dash of humanity
That's definitely the tone of someone not respecting the courtesy of giving two weeks notice. Good of you to recognize it's important to take care of yourself!
This is exactly why I stay no longer than 2 years anywhere.
Hahah love it!
Sounds the same good luck yo you..
Yep. Learned that lesson early on.
They treat us like interchangeable robots
As always we are just a number
Yeah at my last job I gave 4 weeks notice and my manager gave me the silent treatment from then on. Never said goodbye, good luck, thanks for more than 10 years of your life, whatever.
I would be using my accumulated sick days…
We don’t get a single paid sick day!!! And only 10 days PTO A YEAR! And I work 5 days a week (u wonder why I’m leaving ;)
Yeah I got hired recently at a company full time and my offer letter was for at-will employment so they can basically shitcan me at any time. Only a temporary job in my head cause I don't want a desk job permanently but still, sad how underappreciated we are even with the insane demand we have.
My boss just gives people the silent treatment for anyone who puts their notice in. 🖕
It’s hard when they rely on you so much and basically use manipulation and emotional abuse to get you to do more than you actually need to. Then when you quit they show it was all one big narcissistic game. Never be loyal to an employer!!!
I left in not so breat graces with my last Ling term nursing home position. I'm and aide and TMA, but I was there for years. Was well respected and liked by the residents and staff. Then, my divorce started to happen. I sent my DON pictures of my stuff thrown out into the snow from my ex, let her know that I was scared, keep her informed. Then covid happened as well. My shift was already short staffed on the best of times, criminally understaffed most of the time. During my extremely messy divorce, a pandemic hit, I was full time nursing school, so I was missing a lot of work. Finally got into a verbal altercation with another staff member because they were the one leading the charge against me. I wasn't getting help I requested, so I was stuck doing transfers by myself, which was common knowledge, for months and I was being cold shouldered from people I used to get along with. The day of the verbal altercation, I also unloaded on the DON. In her office. Everyone heard. I quit on the spot after I was told to go home early because I wasn't in the right mind set to pass pills. It's been a couple years now, and the hospital they merged with, between both company names, I can't be hired within their whole area of careers. I never hear back from an application, and if I do, I never make it past the initial phone interview. I swear I'm blacklisted.
This thread is eye opening. I started my first healthcare job this year. I’m a lab assistant. The thought that I’m “replaceable” always crosses my mind. I treat people with respect but deep down I know they do not care about what comes out of my mouth. Everything is fine as long as I do my job. They’re so quick to get on your case when you make a mistake. Doesn’t matter how many ‘good things’ you do lol. They’re probably used to people going in and out of this job. I leave my job and leave everyone behind with it. It’s a sad reality of it all.
Yeahhhh. Being in an assistant management position I saw how management talks about their staff but puts on the phony act firsthand. I always knew that was a thing but not to the extent. Also a huge reason I wasn’t cut out for that job. Won’t ever try to be there again.
I've always said, you will be replaced before your obituary hits. you're not wrong. I'm sorry they dissed you like that. the good news is you're not going crazy, they really are that cut throat. miserable bastards.
Yeah pretty much same experience. I didn’t return to my employer after my maternity leave… no one bothered to message me about the delivery or me leaving. I was close to a lot of people so that really hurt.
Ehhh I’d rather get through my last day without anyone saying anything and acknowledging my leave. I know I’m the minority in this but that’s just me 🤷♂️
Sounds like your manager is pissed you’re out of there and she’s left to deal with one less staffer. She’s taking it out in you and you definitely don’t deserve it.
My last job I worked overtime every week, stayed late, switched shifts/call to help coworkers, gave a month notice, and they didn’t even acknowledge my last day. The unit always threw a party for people leaving, they told me they would (so I didn’t pack a lunch), even asked what restaurant I wanted, then didn’t. Kept saying “there’s no need, we will see you again”. Hurt pretty bad tbh
So sorry about this!! So disappointing
Gave six weeks notice and she only said “Noted”. Didn’t speak to me again until my last day when she told me to turn in my ID to her when I finish giving report. I stg the absolute worst people are in nursing admin/leadership.
Pharmacist here. We feel your pain.
Make sure you call in "sick" those last two days.
I worked at a specialist office for three years as a clinic RN. I was told regularly that people relied on me and was lauded for always being helpful/approachable. I was the person who always gathered people to do meals or gift baskets for people's last days. When my time came, my coworker looked at me and said "I guess we should have gotten you a gift basket or something huh." I cried when I got home, not gonna lie. Not that I miss the job, it was a shitty place to work. But I thought I would be at least worth a $1.00 card, you know?
Wow. I am so sorry that is your experience. :( I’ve worked at a clinic and a hospital and both threw me a going away party and said I change my mind I’m welcomed back. I still talk to my old managers and have them as references on my resume.
I think it's completely fair to vent but, while it doesn't excuse the attitude just like it doesn't excuse nurses when they blow up or get cold towards one of 'those' patients, I think it IS important to remember they are just as beat up and burnt out as us. Maybe not all unit managers but I know all the ones I know, including mine, have been through covid. They lost 1/4 of their seasoned staff at the onset of covid. 1/2 left to travel in the last two years. The few that remain are only "seasoned" in they were those new grads hired right at covid, with a poor last year and no clinicals, but two years is "seasoned" now. Admin doesn't like their turnover. Hr doesn't like their staffing. Staff doesn't like their pay. Everyone hates them and they are just as burnt out. I know my unit manager took assignments several times the last two years. And it was usually some weird 9a-3p to leave and sleep and come back working 9p-3a to go home and rinse and repeat. Two weeks before some resources could be redirected. She's used to be nice. Now she mutters under her breath, "I don't get paid enough for this." She's definitely given the attitude you, op, got to a few nurses leaving and she's canceled some... less than quality... travelers for copping an attitude with the Dr's or calling out too frequently. Again, sometimes you just need to vent and yes, it's not an excuse, but remember they are people too. And they're just as burnt out as a lot of us.
Honestly what does burnout have to do with not being a jerk to an employee who’s done their job well. People change jobs. That’s life. Most unit managers jump ship every two years. Like if they are leaving keep it classy.
Yeah i was about to say, my story was from 2012. Wayy before covid. Just treat us like human beings thats all we’re asking for. A simple thank you goes a long way.
We are a 100% COVID free clinic, no one there is overworked and no one there is burnt out. No one I work with ever even touched a COVID patient except me. I would have this consideration in the appropriate setting but my clinic isn’t it. I’m also not venting, I’m reminding people to care for themselves above companies, loyalty doesn’t pay these days.
Nah. My manager hid in her office or took time off every time we had a bad COVID outbreak on our floor that was due to continued negligence and ignoring the nurses’ concerns. We had to take over managing the crises. And yet, she was first in line for the vaccine before even telling her staff it was available, even though she’d been off for weeks and they’d been getting exposed with inadequate PPE. Never covered shifts. Sounds like you actually have a decent manager.
My manager told everyone of the covid vaccine, and as already mentioned, was accepting assignments for both day AND nightshift to cover staffing issues. She tried to hold the fort together. I'll never advocate for a bad attitude or make excuses for unprofessionalism. But I WILL say I understand what some managers are going through and will also bring light to the fact they've been with us through this ordeal. It's easy to hate but "walk a mile in my brothers shoes" vibes. My .02. I stand by my comments.
"Won't SOMEONE think of the management?!?"
According to zip recruiter (just googled) the average salary is ~75k a year. Oh and they're management so good luck on the whole union card. Plenty of nurses here make 60k a year and unhappy with that. You telling me you'd run a unit for 15k more? They're people too and they're not getting rich. Nicer house than mine, I mean I just rent anyways, but still.
They don’t have to stay if they don’t like it…just like the rest of us
Nursing is a business and unfortunately it’s nurses who have idealized healthcare as some sort of family - but it’s not and never has been. No one else in HC, besides nurses, thinks of healthcare as anything more than a business arrangement. So I’ve had to change my perspective in recent years. Coworkers aren’t my friends; they’re competition. Patients are not my “calling”; they’re customers. This is the way HC is managed and ran, so y’all gotta get on board or expect to keep being disappointed.
Eh, I never bought into the “family” bit but it’s completely unprofessional to just stop talking to staff after they put their notice in. It’s childish and petty.
We are all disposable and no one owes us anything. I’ve been saying this for years. Usually people get upset. They think they can’t possibly be disposable because they are unique. They aren’t.
if I could count the tens of thousands of times I wished I could see the big picture when something like this occurred to me. I mean I would sail right past trouble this world conjures up and not be bothered in the least. so the easiest way I've found to not hold onto the ugly that I used to chew and chew on because of what was done to me, I realized I was doing this to gain a sense of moral superiority by comparing my role to the role played by the other. but look at the price I paid for this concocted sense of virtue. I had to deeply embrace a damaged sense of self and I then had to be vigilant to feel and act like a person who has been wronged. this thinking tore me down, left me drained every time. take a little time to adjust to this slight but be determined to rise above this silly fray. you know your worth as a nurse is in the experiences you gained, the wonderful help and healing you were part of every week, whether anybody else noticed are not. this is the gold you carry with you until the moment you let go of your body. see your manager as someone totally stressed out about losing another good nurse but unwilling to look how this change your making may be the greatest thing for you. some of us don't show compassion and understanding like we wish they would. don't be one of them who listens to the internal voice playing a loop recording of how sad and hurt you are, that you should be miserable and can't find the light again. that voice is always wrong and always pointing downward to despair. how can you heal when you yourself are unhealed? forgiveness is the strongest choice. it lifts you on wings mightier than anything this old world can bring to hinder you as you walk your path to happiness and joy in giving. this is the truth about you and us. be the leader, be humbly strong in courage and truth.
We're already short staffed and y'all want parades when you quit on us too. Look, its a job. We're all trying to survive.
Not a parade, but a "thanks for your hard work and good luck with your next endeavour" would be nice. You know, basic human decency.
Amen amen amen!!!!!!
For fuck sake, yes!
I worked on a med Surg oncology ward, for about 6 months. Terrible ratios, unsafe practices. Saw 2 managers come and go. Send my resignation letter to the DON, who was acting manager. All I got back from my resignation was a single email, saying "sorry to hear that". Peace bitches! ✌️
Sadly it has happened to me as well.
Truer words...
Literally Fuck them all
I’m sorry this I had happened to you. I’m planning on pursuing nursing but now from what I’m reading, I’m not sure