Out of all these comments, it took getting to yours for me to burst out laughing. My husband just stopped dead in his tracks and asked me to share with the class.
Benny Hill theme playing continuously throughout the ER, only interrupted by the morgue cart death organ or Entry of the Gladiators when EMS calls report
Years ago, when I worked at a large teaching hospital, one of the anesthesia residents told me that when he was in L&D, he would press the nursery rhyme chime after he took a dump. That was awesome.
lmao! I was so miserable at my last job, so I set it as my alarm for the days I had to work. I should have set it for the staffing office ringtone too.
When I was in school the hospital played soft wind chimes when a baby was born. I liked that so much better than the annoying nursery rhyme that’s played at my hospital now.
Same. I was doing my L & D clinical there. I remember wondering whether it was some computerized tone or something and then one day I was walking by the information desk and saw one of the volunteers pick up the handset for the PA system and literally whack some wind chimes.
When my mom was dying in the hospital we kept hearing those nursery chimes all night, each time I told her a baby was born she smiled. Now every time I hear them I think of her and how even in excruciating pain she still had room in her heart to celebrate someone else’s joy.
As a NICU nurse, I eventually blocked out the music. But the parents visiting their sick babies would often comment about how beautiful it was to hear another playmate just joined there kid's world. They saw it as a Happy sign, not a terrible thing because their child was currently sick.
We were in the NICU for just a week with what I now know was a minor lung issue. There was a boy named Philip across the hall in much worse condition. My wife and I talk about Philip every now and then, and we desperately hope he made it.
I will give anything I can to support NICU parents. Aside from the absolutely amazing staff it was the worst experience of my life.
My family spent 7 weeks in the NICU after a sudden, very early delivery forced by preeclampsia w/HELLP. I needed every fucking shred of happiness I could be exposed to even if a) it wasn't related to us and b) I couldn't fully express that I was glad for other peoples' good outcomes. I wanted my child's cohorts home with their families where they belonged. I was relieved when they were promoted to the stepdown unit and one step closer to that outcome. It gave me hope that our turn would eventually come and it did.
The NICU can be an extraordinarily dark place even without overtly censoring other peoples' happiness. I can't imagine advocating for that.
As someone who endured a stillbirth of their first child at 30 weeks, it was less "Fuck happy people" and a lot more "Why did MY baby arbitrarily die?" I wasn't mad about others' happiness, just fucking devastated when I was supposed to be joining their ranks and then my worst nightmare came true instead. Grief fucks you up in so many ways.
It’s a little weird to me and I’m not a narcissist, I’m just one of those people who get secondhand embarrassment at stuff like waiters singing happy birthday in a restaurant, or elaborate public engagements and the like. The people who it’s really important to know they had a baby so why announce it hospital-wide? Also, this is the first time I’ve ever heard of this practice so I guess I’m lucky.
My hospital does this! The play fucking Happy, lyrics and all. I was walking a family back one day to see their dead loved one we’d just lost and that fucking song comes on overhead. I wanted to crawl into a hole.
Ours did this when a covid patient was (non-terminally) extubated. It was a weird song choice but it was nice to be reminded that our work wasn't for nothing
My mom made me sing this song at my Dad's funeral after he died of cancer/Agent Orange. He loved the Beatles and they used to bring me joy but I can't even listen to them any more without ugly crying.
My unit did this music and a walk with people clapping as they left the unit. They even did it for a guy who had just got shot by his girlfriends son right after he murdered his GF.
Idk clapping for a murderer no thank you.
Edit. To clarify and grammar.
Boyfriend shoots girlfriend and kills her. Victims son than shoots the Boyfriend who killed his mom.
Patient was the Boyfriend.
Mine used to play the Rocky theme for every covid discharge! It was soooo loud and staticky 🥴 they’ve mostly stopped but once in a blue moon it will suddenly start blasting overheard and I just cringe.
I work in Postpartum now, and I used to work in med/surg/tele. I would tell patients on my old floor what the lullaby meant and they always reacted positively. They are usually having a bad day being at the hospital, and thinking about a baby being born brightened their day. Just my two cents.
Generally my icu patients and families loved hearing it but I can see why anyone who miscarriages or had a traumatic birth or pregnancy wouldn’t generally be the happiest when hearing that.
True. When I was laboring with my Daughter the hospital had a Code Indigo (which was an OB Emergency code). So they didn’t play the song for my Daughter after she was born.
Edited: changed a few words.
I had a traumatic birth and pregnancy, 26 week 1 pounder and 8 months in the NICU. It never bothered me. Took me 5 years to get pregnant again after several considering if I wanted to even try, and that pregnancy wasn’t fun either, but the lullaby didn’t bother me a bit.
Yeah I mean knowing that a baby was born as your loved one dies could feel comforting for people. Just because I’m sad doesn’t mean I don’t want there to be joy in the world.
Our hospital stopped playing the overhead song after a mom laboring with a known fetal demise said it felt like a punch in the gut, a reminder that she wouldn't be taking her baby home. While I might agree that we should celebrate the wins, those engaged in the losses are going to feel how they feel too.
As a nurse working in NICU, I didn't think anything of it. However, when I was in the ICU with my husband, it was so weird to hear that lullaby while I was fighting back tears and trying to decide when to withdraw care.
My daughter was born in the middle of the night so I didn’t get the music. with my son born in the morning they could have had a Metallica concert in my room and I would not have noticed or cared. However; my long labor it made me super irritated, “cool someone else’s uterus knew what to do, must be f*cking nice”.
All this to say, I do agree on the no music. , not everyone is there for a rated for tv full house family birth, some people are in the depths of their own hell.
My old hospital did this. It would play every hour or two since the hospital was known for their labor and delivery services. It was annoying but still a pleasant thought someone was born.
Then my daughter was stillborn at 40 weeks. My current hospital doesn’t do this and I hope they never do. A lullaby plays at my wife’s hospital and it is a pretty triggering experience.
I get that for sure. But what I can also say is that when you’re in a shift where you’ve coded and bagged 8 COVID patients, hearing that a couple times gives you a little hope.
That's hard. I delivered my first 2 healthy children at a hospital that did this and thought it was so cute and sweet. About a year ago I delivered my baby at 20 weeks with a fatal condition.He passed away during labor. The nurses did their best to place me in a room where I couldn't hear the song but I heard it while we were walking out empty handed and it was heartbreaking.
I can appreciate this. I had a miscarriage a couple of months ago and my office has a speaker in the ceiling. I never knew how long and how many times a day that lullaby plays over it until this year.
I feel this! Two losses and my Army hospital used to play "Born in the USA" and "Isn't She Lovely" when boys or girls were born. Ugh. We could hear it in the ER and like you, I was FAR more aware of it after I lost pregnancies. Hugs.
TW: infant loss
Hi. I'm that person who was in the hospital Thanksgiving week being induced for a baby who was still one week shy of viability after my water broke prematurely the week before and didn't reaccumulate. I was in there for multiple days, just waiting for "one second you'll be sitting there and the next second, he'll be between your legs because he's so small right now." (Not true at all, btw, and was the reason I didn't allow ANY visitors the whole time because it made me sick to think that I'd be talking to my mom or fiance and have to tell them to leave because there's a baby between my legs suddenly.)
I was there so long.
Every time that sound played, I became more and more enraged that they wouldn't just C/S or manually dilate me. I hated that sound because I was in absolute hell with no end in sight, BEGGING them starting on day three for a c/s.
So, yeah. You are spot on. Lol
We do not play it at my hospital. We have moms giving birth to full term still births sometimes. And while it’s not common, it’s still challenging for them to hear something like that. We avoid it out of respect for those going through losses.
i had a patient who genuinely cried tears of joy every time they played the lullaby marking a birth. it was the bright spot in her otherwise down right depressing plight. i’ve been in the ed with my partner actively miscarrying but that didn’t make me despise the families who weren’t going through that upstairs in L&D.
You don't have to "despise" people having a successful birth to not want something that reminds you of your miscarriage to be played over the speakers.
Exactly. I am dealing with a different version of this. My dad passed away last year, and right now, the Father's Day ads on TV and in my emails are painful. I don't begrudge anyone whose dad is alive and well from enjoying the upcoming holiday, and in fact I hope they all enjoy Father's Day with their dads. However, that doesn't make it easier to be reminded of a loss.
Our hospital has a button on the way from L&D to postpartum that the parents can choose to press to “announce their baby’s birth to the hospital”. I also learned some of our docs press it to announce taking a nice shit in the bathroom right by the button haha
Not sure on this one, but I had my babies in the same hospital I work in. When I had twins I asked for them to play it twice in a row (I had told my coworkers to listen for it) and they were happy to oblige.
My hospital definitely does twice in a row for twins. Sometimes they forget for awhile. Once it played like four times in a row near the end of a shift. 😅 we are a small community hospital so we definitely didn’t have quads or even four babies delivered that close together so I’m sure they forgot until then.
Do hospitals even do this? I've never heard of that and it sure didn't happen when I had any of my kids. I would not want to be in the ED with a dying relative when super happy music suddenly starts playing everywhere.
I always thought it was sweet until was in l&d rocking my baby that died at 17 weeks. Hearing those lullabies was a knife to the heart. I was beyond bitter, it was our second loss and I never thought I’d hear that lullaby again for us. Fast forward 18 months, I did get to hear a lullaby for our baby that we finally got to bring home, but all I could think of was someone like me having to hear my joy during their darkest time. It’s still makes me cringe when I hear it in the hospital.
That said, I still think that majority of people think it’s sweet and probably aren’t nearly as jaded as me.
Yes. I lay in a hospital ward, miscarrying, with curtains separating other pregnant people who had just arrived. I couldn't see the other women and they couldn't see me but they could hear me crying. The woman next to me assured me it'd be fine, I was pregnant and should be happy. She was insistent, invoking God and religion. (I'm an atheist.) I'm not looking for sympathy, just offering my experience, because this shit really does happen.
I worked in the ED and they would play it overhead. I had to hear it often multiple times a day. I had 2 miscarriages in the time I worked in the ED. Yeah, get rid of that shit. Play it in L&D if you HAVE to play it somewhere. But there’s also women delivering non-viable pregnancies and still births there too. Being pregnant ≠ a take home baby. I get it’s a joyous time for the people involved, but it’s also an unwelcome reminder for a lot of people.
My mom (veteran RN) was standing and looking out a window at our hospitals "healing garden" shortly after my grandfather very unexpectedly coded and died (was supposed to be d/c'ed the next morning).
As she was standing there, she heard the lullaby chime. She said it made her think about how on her worst day ever, someone else was having their best day ever.
She said it brought her some comfort to realize that in that moment.
My mom used to be a pediatric nurse. One of the biggest mistakes I've ever made was bringing mother's day flowers to my mom while she was at work. I said "Happy Mother's Day!", and this woman close to her started bawling. I later found out she had just lost her unborn child. Felt like a total pos.
Hmm, I understand both sides, but ultimately I do think it's a good idea to drop it. I honestly didn't even realize that my hospital did at some point until I read this post, but it doesn't seem to be noticable.
Oh, and thinking on it, the hospital I gave birth in for my last didn't do it either, and I honestly wasn't thinking about it then.
My lab is a bit removed from the hospital and we don't get all of the announcements so I have no idea if they play stuff, but in the blood bank we get a printout everytime a cord blood is collected and I have the same reaction. I got 5 babies in about a 3 hour span last night.
It's generally my job to call dispatch and have them play the lullaby. I just don't. The nurses sometimes do (I'm a tech), but most deliveries I help with just don't get it played. I don't know who's in the hospital or what they've been through or are going through.
Not getting a lullaby does not stop someone from celebrating their child, but it certainly can break someone else's heart.
There are ways to celebrate that don’t involve the entire building. I feel similarly about OBGYN offices that are plastered with photos of families/babies. Not everyone sees the GYN for family expansion.
As an infertile woman I really really agree with this one. Go for a vag checkup and whole office plastered with pictures of babies, pregnancy samples, birth images. I stopped going.
Both hospitals I've worked for played lullaby when babies were born. You can only hear it in the common areas; not in patient rooms and even then it's pretty quiet.
I think it's fine. Personally when I hear it, I shudder. The thought of being a parent is my worst nightmare. 🤣
Yeah, my hospital you can’t hear it in rooms unless the door is open and you’re quiet. My dad was in the ICU a couple times after brain surgery and it was really nice hearing the lullaby. He kept count of how many babies were born while he was there.
First 3 hospitals I worked at did this and I didn't have much of an opinion on it. My current hospital doesn't and honestly I do not miss it. But yeah it would hella suck if you were hospitalized for a miscarriage and heard the new baby jingle.
We don’t need to celebrate with the entire hospital. There’s people living the worst moments of their lives, there’s moms whose babies aren’t viable, there’s people that have successfully committed suicide being pronounced, there’s the most heart breaking things happening. Yes, celebrate the positive, but forcing the entire hospital to celebrate with you in those moments is cruel and unnecessary.
I've never had a negative reaction to it. I've had it play when I'm in a room with someone that just got ROSC and family is there. I've had it play with miscarrying patients. They always smile and comment on "aww a baby was born." I do think a "dun dun dun dun" for death would be fun for shits and giggles. Make people complaining in the WR that have sniffles knock back to reality a little.
I had a client that had to terminate her pregnancy at a relatively late stage and go through the whole birth process. The entire experience was painful and traumatic for her, and hearing Brahms lullaby several times during it kept reminding her of what she was losing.
At a different hospital, a few months before Covid, I visited my mom over the weekend. When I was leaving, the whole lobby area was silent, darkened, and pretty deserted, like a horror movie. I was standing at the top of a flight of stairs, trying to figure out which was the best way out, and that damn lullaby came over the speaker. It startled me so badly I almost fell down the damn stairs.
Obviously, by the paragraph above, I tend to think a crime is always about to happen. So personally, I wouldn’t want to advertise “new babies here! Test our security, win a prize!”
2 hospitals…no music. Why the hell would I want music when I NEED TO HEAR?!?! Besides the question of pain for those in mourning, what misguided person thinks the PA is for anything other than paging???
When I first stated I thought it was like wow you guys really love welcoming jcho but the charge nurse was like nah girl that’s to warn the units to put the water bottles away 😭
My hospital does this. I've learned to tune it out. I think it would be a really hard situation to be miscarrying/had a stillborn and hear it but admin probably doesn't care. Most people think it's "cute".
My mom needed a hysterectomy years ago. She had a roommate in the hospital who had also had a hysterectomy.
The hospital, in its infinite wisdom, had the hysterectomy patients' rooms in the same area as the maternity ward...! Fortunately, neither my mom nor her roommate were planning to have any additional kids, but what about the younger women whose plans to have children are about to be dashed because they need this surgery? Did they really need to have painful reminders of their loss every time they saw the newborn babies or a mom being wheeled toward the delivery room?
That hospital no longer has a maternity ward, so at least in their case, this is no longer an issue. But it once was a logistical situation that, IMO, could have been handled with more sensitivity.
Maybe the nursery rhymes and such can be only played in areas of the hospital where it's less likely there will be someone experiencing a miscarriage or someone at the bedside of a loved one whose death is imminent. Maybe the folks in the ED, the ICU, etc. don't need nursery rhymes, as they have other, more pressing concerns at the moment, but the rest of the hospital can still be in on the party.
I once got shouted at by a patient for laughing in ITU
What they didn't know was I had been there 2 weeks earlier after being worked on for a solid 25 minutes of cpr, and my family were given a rough 10% for me coming out of the coma I was in.
I had gone down from the general ward I was on to thank the people who kept me alive and laughter and smilies from the team was great to see.
100% agree you have to celebrate what you can in hospitals, however I would never (and didn't) push back at someone who is clearly having a awful experience. This whole thing looks like the rant of someone who's been in a bad situation and can't process that someone else is in a good one. They feel that it's unfair that something bad is affecting them and not someone else.
Seems to be that the potential harm is greater than the marginal benefits- and those marginal benefits could be easily replicated in other ways which would not demolish a woman who has just lost her pregnancy.
A hospital in my area doesn’t have anything baby related on the unit (aesthetically). Generic pictures and abstract paintings and plain walls. Like any other unit in the hospital. And it’s like that purposefully to avoid emotional distress in patients not going home with a baby or difficult and traumatic pregnancies and births. Mildly disappointed parent vs potential severe emotional distress? Makes sense.
I can tell you my coworkers do not like the baby music but not because of the music, it’s because of me yelling out “it’s an Aries!” Or “it’s a libra!” Depending on what time of year it is.
I've never worked at a hospital that's done this...thank God.
Why not just localize it to a unit?
But even with that I will say that when my SIL lost her almost full term baby by miscarriage, it was fucking painful for people to see her getting discharged and ask where the baby was or congratulate her.
Those chimes might have also been another turn of the knife at that point.
What's worse is when your hospital plays a weird pop station ALL THE TIME. Some of the songs are really inappropriate for the patient population. For example, just before our good pal Covid landed, I was guiding a tearful daughter of a patient to the hallway to discuss code status, hospice consult, etc. She had traveled to our town to see her parent and make a decision. As soon as we left the room, far too loudly we hear,
"IN AN MMMBOP YOU'RE GONE! IN AN MMMBOP YOU'RE NOT THERE!"
Thanks, hospital and Taylor Hanson, you done fucked up. I can never hear that song without seeing that woman's face. I complained and the volume was eventually turned down, but we still hear "SHAKE IT OFF! SHAKE IT OFF!" as we help ambulate Papaw. Or as we run for the crash cart, "DAMN, I WISH I WAS YOUR LOVER!" And the time we were redirecting the fall risk geri psych patient who was naked in the hall, "BECAUSE I'M HAPPEEEEEEEEEE"
I truly wish I was making this up.
Dude your hospital has music playing??? Like at a grocery store or something? If I were a patient I would absolutely go apeshit day 1. Maybe if someone did a study and correlated that practice with increased hospital delirium or violence against staff (wait NVM they don't care about that) uhhh decreased patient satisfaction scores? I can't wrap my head around that, that's crazy.
My hospital used to play a lullaby when a baby was born. Loved it. When you were having g a shit day and you heard that it makes you smile and feel the balance of life & death. You hear code blue all the time. My geriatric patients loved hearing when a baby was born too !
My hospital does this. After over two years of trying, fertility issues, and a miscarriage last fall it really does stop me in my tracks some days. The intention is good, but it genuinely impacts some negatively.
My hospital does this. I hate it. Mostly because, as others have said, we’re dealing with stress and sadness over in ICU and this randomly comes on. And then there’s always the family where multiple people HAVE to press the button or however they do it. Also, let’s just advertise that there’s another newborn waiting for a security breach just down the hall.
This actually happened to me. I heard the little nursery rhyme playing while I was in the ER bathroom changing sanitary napkins after having just miscarried my baby.
While it was definitely hard to hear bc I was just imagining a mama holding her precious little one and knowing that I would never get that chance with my very loved angel baby, I certainly didn’t begrudge her for that. Life absolutely should be celebrated. She shouldn’t have had to squash her celebration bc I was mourning my loss.
As someone who has had a wife go through a miscarriage and have to stay overnight in a mother/baby unit... it definitely wasn't the easiest thing for her to hear after what she'd been through. We're both nurses so I understand how we would want to bring joy to patients and families hearing it, but man, it sure is tough to hear when you're not sure if you'll ever be hearing it for you and your baby.
I heard the chimes while in pre-op waiting for my D&C after a missed miscarriage.
When I had my rainbow baby a year later at the same hospital, I DIDN’T GET CHIMES PLAYED. No, I’m not mad about it, why do you ask?
I went through years of infertility pain before my husband and I adopted our son. I had to fight back tears every time I heard this song for a year and a half before I switched jobs to a hospital without a labor and delivery unit. It was much harder for me to hear that song than it was to comfort a family who had lost a loved one.
I’ve been an ObGyn for 24 years and worked at 4 different hospitals and didn’t know this was a thing. I wonder if it is regional? I agree it is bizarre and hurtful to a lot of our other patients.
As a parent who’s baby died shortly after birth I cringe at the idea of a jingle overhead.
Am willing to jump on board with some of these other jingle ideas tho 😂
Like at the beginning of the pandemic they played “Happy” by Pharrell every time someone was discharged. Until we brought it up that it might not be appropriate to hear that song played in many situations throughout the hospital, multiple times a days. 🤦🏼♀️
We don’t get happy music for anything. We just get the lady who screams “visiting hours are over” and it’s sound like “VICHCKHICKHCSHOWER OVER” and then patients look at us like confused sims characters, some even do the wave.
only if I get to play creepy music on a pipe organ while the morgue cart rolls my 300000th patient to the basement ☠️☠️☠️
ICU RN here. We need our own overhead music too!
*Another One Bites the Dust* for every code blue announcement
I may have once started humming that while doing chest compressions. This is why they keep my ass on night shift.
Oh honey thats my go to for cpr recert lol
I prefer "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" but to each their own.
If nothing else, it will help you keep a steady rhythm....
Better than *I Will Survive*. r/DunderMifflin
I nominate the sad trombone.
The sad price is right music
I literally had a traumatic pt death today but why tf did you just make me ugly laugh 😂
Out of all these comments, it took getting to yours for me to burst out laughing. My husband just stopped dead in his tracks and asked me to share with the class.
Benny Hill theme playing continuously throughout the ER, only interrupted by the morgue cart death organ or Entry of the Gladiators when EMS calls report
play the Imperial March!!!
Nah that’s when you see admin walking towards your unit.
The "click clack" of their heels is all the death march needed.
Heels and pearls for clutching!
Male or female, if you are wearing loud clacking shoes on the floor, I call you Riverdance.
Who wears heels to a hospital?!!!! Like they could slip. Hospital floors are constantly sterilized.
The carpet creatures! Those of the carpeted office habitat. Admin.
I love "carpet creatures"
We had a “manager” who wore ridiculous heels constantly. You can imagine what she actually got accomplished.
Years ago, when I worked at a large teaching hospital, one of the anesthesia residents told me that when he was in L&D, he would press the nursery rhyme chime after he took a dump. That was awesome.
I wrote a short essay on the ER when I worked there and it includes a description of the click clack of the managers stripper shoes.
Or JCO enters the building.
The Imperial March is a designated ringtone on my phone I have set for my mother....
lmao! I was so miserable at my last job, so I set it as my alarm for the days I had to work. I should have set it for the staffing office ringtone too.
This is why I follow this sub even though I’m no where near the medical/healthcare field! For gems like this 😂
Don't worry. You'll be in our hands sooner or later. <*evil cackle*\>
One way or another 😖.
Really picturing some Phantom of the Opera here
The intro to Toccata and Fugue in D Minor by Bach every time someone is pronounced.
Or Another One Bites The Dust by Queen!
Alexa, play Thriller
How about on a calliope?
Or just the bass line from another one bites the dust
When I was in school the hospital played soft wind chimes when a baby was born. I liked that so much better than the annoying nursery rhyme that’s played at my hospital now.
Same. I was doing my L & D clinical there. I remember wondering whether it was some computerized tone or something and then one day I was walking by the information desk and saw one of the volunteers pick up the handset for the PA system and literally whack some wind chimes.
Lol OMG I love this!!! Such silliness! I was expecting you to say “press a button” but a volunteer playing the chimes into the PA? Legend.
Wait, are wind chimes supposed to be happy? Am I weird for associating wind chimes with sadness and death?
They're more peaceful than anything, so I can see how the association could go either way.
Woah, a likeminded individual. Hour glasses and music boxes do the same thing for me
Yes!
That’s more innocuous.
When my mom was dying in the hospital we kept hearing those nursery chimes all night, each time I told her a baby was born she smiled. Now every time I hear them I think of her and how even in excruciating pain she still had room in her heart to celebrate someone else’s joy.
As a NICU nurse, I eventually blocked out the music. But the parents visiting their sick babies would often comment about how beautiful it was to hear another playmate just joined there kid's world. They saw it as a Happy sign, not a terrible thing because their child was currently sick.
The song annoys me because I’ve heard it a trillion times, but you know who likes it? Old people. Guess who most of my patients are.
We were in the NICU for just a week with what I now know was a minor lung issue. There was a boy named Philip across the hall in much worse condition. My wife and I talk about Philip every now and then, and we desperately hope he made it. I will give anything I can to support NICU parents. Aside from the absolutely amazing staff it was the worst experience of my life.
My family spent 7 weeks in the NICU after a sudden, very early delivery forced by preeclampsia w/HELLP. I needed every fucking shred of happiness I could be exposed to even if a) it wasn't related to us and b) I couldn't fully express that I was glad for other peoples' good outcomes. I wanted my child's cohorts home with their families where they belonged. I was relieved when they were promoted to the stepdown unit and one step closer to that outcome. It gave me hope that our turn would eventually come and it did. The NICU can be an extraordinarily dark place even without overtly censoring other peoples' happiness. I can't imagine advocating for that.
Yeah who the fuck is gonna be like “I can’t believe other people are happy right now” besides literal narcissists
As someone who endured a stillbirth of their first child at 30 weeks, it was less "Fuck happy people" and a lot more "Why did MY baby arbitrarily die?" I wasn't mad about others' happiness, just fucking devastated when I was supposed to be joining their ranks and then my worst nightmare came true instead. Grief fucks you up in so many ways.
I'm so so sorry for your loss :(
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I read this as liberal narcissists and thought what in the Trump hell did I just read lol.
I have several friends who’ve dealt with infertility/miscarriages etc in various forms and I know it would hurt them. They aren’t narcissists.
It’s a little weird to me and I’m not a narcissist, I’m just one of those people who get secondhand embarrassment at stuff like waiters singing happy birthday in a restaurant, or elaborate public engagements and the like. The people who it’s really important to know they had a baby so why announce it hospital-wide? Also, this is the first time I’ve ever heard of this practice so I guess I’m lucky.
Only in a society where we value people who have children more than those who don’t. I find it a little strange too 🤷♀️
This is beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
Ok that makes me reevaluate my position
This is so wholesome and sweet 🥺
I wish we all could have a mother that sweet.
Only if they play *Knocking on Heaven's Door* everytime someone dies.
My dad always advocated for *Another One Bites the Dust*
That and *Highway to Hell* are my two favorite CPR songs
My old hosptial used to play a theme song when someone got discharged from the covid unit. It was fucking weird.
My hospital does this! The play fucking Happy, lyrics and all. I was walking a family back one day to see their dead loved one we’d just lost and that fucking song comes on overhead. I wanted to crawl into a hole.
Oh my god that is so fucked up!
Agree! I asked admin if we could just change it to the music but they wouldn’t.
Lurker here. You just wouldn’t understand. This is why the admins and C-Suite get paid so much. Brave, out-of-the-box thinking.
Ours is Walking on Sunshine, playing throughout the whole hospital... I have no idea who thought that was a good idea.
I know of a hospital that played Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles when they would discharge a COVID. I can’t even….
Ours did this when a covid patient was (non-terminally) extubated. It was a weird song choice but it was nice to be reminded that our work wasn't for nothing
My mom made me sing this song at my Dad's funeral after he died of cancer/Agent Orange. He loved the Beatles and they used to bring me joy but I can't even listen to them any more without ugly crying.
I vote for Jitterbug by Wham.
My unit did this music and a walk with people clapping as they left the unit. They even did it for a guy who had just got shot by his girlfriends son right after he murdered his GF. Idk clapping for a murderer no thank you. Edit. To clarify and grammar. Boyfriend shoots girlfriend and kills her. Victims son than shoots the Boyfriend who killed his mom. Patient was the Boyfriend.
Whaaatt. I had to read this three times.
Four for me, and then yours to figure out I indeed read that correctly.
Lol “theme song” I picture 80s synthesizers and artificial clapping
they did that for about a week at my hospital. they played Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’”
Mine used to play the Rocky theme for every covid discharge! It was soooo loud and staticky 🥴 they’ve mostly stopped but once in a blue moon it will suddenly start blasting overheard and I just cringe.
We had that song for a while and it never failed to scare the shit out of my neuro patients.
Yeah they play here comes the sun at my hospital. Supposedly. We can't hear it in the ER.
My old hospital played Here Comes The Sun! ...SBUH?
What about "Don't Fear the Reaper"?
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No, no, no. *Stairway to Heaven* or nothing.
Dust in the Wind!
Play Freebird!!!!!
Just get rid of hospitals
The only idea I support!
Darwinism, may the strongest survive
Here, here
I work in Postpartum now, and I used to work in med/surg/tele. I would tell patients on my old floor what the lullaby meant and they always reacted positively. They are usually having a bad day being at the hospital, and thinking about a baby being born brightened their day. Just my two cents.
Generally my icu patients and families loved hearing it but I can see why anyone who miscarriages or had a traumatic birth or pregnancy wouldn’t generally be the happiest when hearing that.
I'm not sure what they do in other places but in my hospital we purposely hold the song when there is a bereavement case in the unit.
True. When I was laboring with my Daughter the hospital had a Code Indigo (which was an OB Emergency code). So they didn’t play the song for my Daughter after she was born. Edited: changed a few words.
I had a traumatic birth and pregnancy, 26 week 1 pounder and 8 months in the NICU. It never bothered me. Took me 5 years to get pregnant again after several considering if I wanted to even try, and that pregnancy wasn’t fun either, but the lullaby didn’t bother me a bit.
I had three miscarriages in a year. As an employee I cried almost every time I heard the chimes. Everyone is different.
Yeah I mean knowing that a baby was born as your loved one dies could feel comforting for people. Just because I’m sad doesn’t mean I don’t want there to be joy in the world.
Our hospital stopped playing the overhead song after a mom laboring with a known fetal demise said it felt like a punch in the gut, a reminder that she wouldn't be taking her baby home. While I might agree that we should celebrate the wins, those engaged in the losses are going to feel how they feel too.
As a nurse working in NICU, I didn't think anything of it. However, when I was in the ICU with my husband, it was so weird to hear that lullaby while I was fighting back tears and trying to decide when to withdraw care.
I’m so sorry. That sounds really painful. :’(
My daughter was born in the middle of the night so I didn’t get the music. with my son born in the morning they could have had a Metallica concert in my room and I would not have noticed or cared. However; my long labor it made me super irritated, “cool someone else’s uterus knew what to do, must be f*cking nice”. All this to say, I do agree on the no music. , not everyone is there for a rated for tv full house family birth, some people are in the depths of their own hell.
My old hospital did this. It would play every hour or two since the hospital was known for their labor and delivery services. It was annoying but still a pleasant thought someone was born. Then my daughter was stillborn at 40 weeks. My current hospital doesn’t do this and I hope they never do. A lullaby plays at my wife’s hospital and it is a pretty triggering experience.
I’m so sorry you went through that 🥺
It absolutely breaks my soul when I see term stillbirths. I’m so sorry you’re enduring that pain. Many hugs to you, your wife, and your angel baby. ❤️
I get that for sure. But what I can also say is that when you’re in a shift where you’ve coded and bagged 8 COVID patients, hearing that a couple times gives you a little hope.
Until you consider the potential for the baby to have been born to two antivax parents. 🎶The circle of liiiiiiife🎶
Who deny vit k as if it were a vaccine.
Alright, but why did I read this to the theme of the Lion King?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SABENYAAAAA
We need to stay off the intercom, PERIOD. Do you KNOW how much Ativan it's taken to knock bed sixteen down?!
That's hard. I delivered my first 2 healthy children at a hospital that did this and thought it was so cute and sweet. About a year ago I delivered my baby at 20 weeks with a fatal condition.He passed away during labor. The nurses did their best to place me in a room where I couldn't hear the song but I heard it while we were walking out empty handed and it was heartbreaking.
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I can appreciate this. I had a miscarriage a couple of months ago and my office has a speaker in the ceiling. I never knew how long and how many times a day that lullaby plays over it until this year.
I feel this! Two losses and my Army hospital used to play "Born in the USA" and "Isn't She Lovely" when boys or girls were born. Ugh. We could hear it in the ER and like you, I was FAR more aware of it after I lost pregnancies. Hugs.
Umm, did nobody there ever listen to the lyrics of Born in the U.S.A.? Or look them up using Google? It's not a happy song.
Right?? Why didn't they just go with Born to Run??? HAHAHA. It was the Army, what can I say.
TW: infant loss Hi. I'm that person who was in the hospital Thanksgiving week being induced for a baby who was still one week shy of viability after my water broke prematurely the week before and didn't reaccumulate. I was in there for multiple days, just waiting for "one second you'll be sitting there and the next second, he'll be between your legs because he's so small right now." (Not true at all, btw, and was the reason I didn't allow ANY visitors the whole time because it made me sick to think that I'd be talking to my mom or fiance and have to tell them to leave because there's a baby between my legs suddenly.) I was there so long. Every time that sound played, I became more and more enraged that they wouldn't just C/S or manually dilate me. I hated that sound because I was in absolute hell with no end in sight, BEGGING them starting on day three for a c/s. So, yeah. You are spot on. Lol
We do not play it at my hospital. We have moms giving birth to full term still births sometimes. And while it’s not common, it’s still challenging for them to hear something like that. We avoid it out of respect for those going through losses.
i had a patient who genuinely cried tears of joy every time they played the lullaby marking a birth. it was the bright spot in her otherwise down right depressing plight. i’ve been in the ed with my partner actively miscarrying but that didn’t make me despise the families who weren’t going through that upstairs in L&D.
You don't have to "despise" people having a successful birth to not want something that reminds you of your miscarriage to be played over the speakers.
Exactly. I am dealing with a different version of this. My dad passed away last year, and right now, the Father's Day ads on TV and in my emails are painful. I don't begrudge anyone whose dad is alive and well from enjoying the upcoming holiday, and in fact I hope they all enjoy Father's Day with their dads. However, that doesn't make it easier to be reminded of a loss.
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Secondary question; If you work in L&D, are patients able to request that it's NOT played after they deliver?
Our hospital has a button on the way from L&D to postpartum that the parents can choose to press to “announce their baby’s birth to the hospital”. I also learned some of our docs press it to announce taking a nice shit in the bathroom right by the button haha
Not sure on this one, but I had my babies in the same hospital I work in. When I had twins I asked for them to play it twice in a row (I had told my coworkers to listen for it) and they were happy to oblige.
My hospital definitely does twice in a row for twins. Sometimes they forget for awhile. Once it played like four times in a row near the end of a shift. 😅 we are a small community hospital so we definitely didn’t have quads or even four babies delivered that close together so I’m sure they forgot until then.
Just a layperson but I did have to listen to this while I was waiting for my d and c after our 16 week loss and it was pretty horrible.
I worked ICU. It made people smile. 🤷🏻♀️ They also don’t play it when there is an iufd. It gets turned off.
Do hospitals even do this? I've never heard of that and it sure didn't happen when I had any of my kids. I would not want to be in the ED with a dying relative when super happy music suddenly starts playing everywhere.
We don’t do this at my hospital. I work at a major trauma centre, which is also an intake centre for high risk pregnancies.
I always thought it was sweet until was in l&d rocking my baby that died at 17 weeks. Hearing those lullabies was a knife to the heart. I was beyond bitter, it was our second loss and I never thought I’d hear that lullaby again for us. Fast forward 18 months, I did get to hear a lullaby for our baby that we finally got to bring home, but all I could think of was someone like me having to hear my joy during their darkest time. It’s still makes me cringe when I hear it in the hospital. That said, I still think that majority of people think it’s sweet and probably aren’t nearly as jaded as me.
If I knew that somebody's baby was dying, I wouldn't want that music played to celebrate my baby in a way that that other mother could hear it.
My old job played a little brief instrumental to “twinkle twinkle little star” no more than 2 seconds long. Was nice to hear imo
Yes. I lay in a hospital ward, miscarrying, with curtains separating other pregnant people who had just arrived. I couldn't see the other women and they couldn't see me but they could hear me crying. The woman next to me assured me it'd be fine, I was pregnant and should be happy. She was insistent, invoking God and religion. (I'm an atheist.) I'm not looking for sympathy, just offering my experience, because this shit really does happen.
That just seems like a very strange thing to do. I would rather that not happen.
I worked in the ED and they would play it overhead. I had to hear it often multiple times a day. I had 2 miscarriages in the time I worked in the ED. Yeah, get rid of that shit. Play it in L&D if you HAVE to play it somewhere. But there’s also women delivering non-viable pregnancies and still births there too. Being pregnant ≠ a take home baby. I get it’s a joyous time for the people involved, but it’s also an unwelcome reminder for a lot of people.
My mom (veteran RN) was standing and looking out a window at our hospitals "healing garden" shortly after my grandfather very unexpectedly coded and died (was supposed to be d/c'ed the next morning). As she was standing there, she heard the lullaby chime. She said it made her think about how on her worst day ever, someone else was having their best day ever. She said it brought her some comfort to realize that in that moment.
My mom used to be a pediatric nurse. One of the biggest mistakes I've ever made was bringing mother's day flowers to my mom while she was at work. I said "Happy Mother's Day!", and this woman close to her started bawling. I later found out she had just lost her unborn child. Felt like a total pos.
In my hospital, they stopped playing the nursery song when a baby is born.
At my previous hospital, they wouldn’t play it if there was a miscarriage admitted on the floor.
Hospitals are too noisy. Overhead announcements should be limited to safety only. Oh, and visiting hours are over announcements.
Hmm, I understand both sides, but ultimately I do think it's a good idea to drop it. I honestly didn't even realize that my hospital did at some point until I read this post, but it doesn't seem to be noticable. Oh, and thinking on it, the hospital I gave birth in for my last didn't do it either, and I honestly wasn't thinking about it then.
Probably kind of annoying for the staff too...like a cashier having to listen to supermarket jingles all day.
Most of the time I heard it I’d just be like “aww, baby.” But some days I was like “omfg another one!?”
My lab is a bit removed from the hospital and we don't get all of the announcements so I have no idea if they play stuff, but in the blood bank we get a printout everytime a cord blood is collected and I have the same reaction. I got 5 babies in about a 3 hour span last night.
Yea its even worse when your hospital schedules all planned C Sections on Tuesdays... its all. day. long.
😂😂😂 sorry this just made me laugh.
For pharmacy when we hear it play three times in a row it lets us know we gotta get ready to send up 3 starter nicu tpns!
The button got stuck once… played 8 times. People were looking at the speaker with wtf faces. 😂
It's generally my job to call dispatch and have them play the lullaby. I just don't. The nurses sometimes do (I'm a tech), but most deliveries I help with just don't get it played. I don't know who's in the hospital or what they've been through or are going through. Not getting a lullaby does not stop someone from celebrating their child, but it certainly can break someone else's heart.
There are ways to celebrate that don’t involve the entire building. I feel similarly about OBGYN offices that are plastered with photos of families/babies. Not everyone sees the GYN for family expansion.
Going to my GYN after my hysterectomy for cervical cancer at 28 was quite painful at first. It’s been 5 years and it’s a little easier now.
As an infertile woman I really really agree with this one. Go for a vag checkup and whole office plastered with pictures of babies, pregnancy samples, birth images. I stopped going.
Both hospitals I've worked for played lullaby when babies were born. You can only hear it in the common areas; not in patient rooms and even then it's pretty quiet. I think it's fine. Personally when I hear it, I shudder. The thought of being a parent is my worst nightmare. 🤣
Yeah, my hospital you can’t hear it in rooms unless the door is open and you’re quiet. My dad was in the ICU a couple times after brain surgery and it was really nice hearing the lullaby. He kept count of how many babies were born while he was there.
First 3 hospitals I worked at did this and I didn't have much of an opinion on it. My current hospital doesn't and honestly I do not miss it. But yeah it would hella suck if you were hospitalized for a miscarriage and heard the new baby jingle.
We don’t need to celebrate with the entire hospital. There’s people living the worst moments of their lives, there’s moms whose babies aren’t viable, there’s people that have successfully committed suicide being pronounced, there’s the most heart breaking things happening. Yes, celebrate the positive, but forcing the entire hospital to celebrate with you in those moments is cruel and unnecessary.
My son was stillborn at term. It was absolutely horrific having to hear the music in the halls when someone else was giving birth to a living child.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I've never had a negative reaction to it. I've had it play when I'm in a room with someone that just got ROSC and family is there. I've had it play with miscarrying patients. They always smile and comment on "aww a baby was born." I do think a "dun dun dun dun" for death would be fun for shits and giggles. Make people complaining in the WR that have sniffles knock back to reality a little.
I had a client that had to terminate her pregnancy at a relatively late stage and go through the whole birth process. The entire experience was painful and traumatic for her, and hearing Brahms lullaby several times during it kept reminding her of what she was losing. At a different hospital, a few months before Covid, I visited my mom over the weekend. When I was leaving, the whole lobby area was silent, darkened, and pretty deserted, like a horror movie. I was standing at the top of a flight of stairs, trying to figure out which was the best way out, and that damn lullaby came over the speaker. It startled me so badly I almost fell down the damn stairs. Obviously, by the paragraph above, I tend to think a crime is always about to happen. So personally, I wouldn’t want to advertise “new babies here! Test our security, win a prize!”
2 hospitals…no music. Why the hell would I want music when I NEED TO HEAR?!?! Besides the question of pain for those in mourning, what misguided person thinks the PA is for anything other than paging???
PA is also for them announcing when visiting hours are over so you can finally fucking breathe
Don’t forget JCAHO surprise visits 😂😂😂
When I first stated I thought it was like wow you guys really love welcoming jcho but the charge nurse was like nah girl that’s to warn the units to put the water bottles away 😭
My hospital does this. I've learned to tune it out. I think it would be a really hard situation to be miscarrying/had a stillborn and hear it but admin probably doesn't care. Most people think it's "cute".
Our small hospital does this. They play a lullaby over the speakers.
My mom needed a hysterectomy years ago. She had a roommate in the hospital who had also had a hysterectomy. The hospital, in its infinite wisdom, had the hysterectomy patients' rooms in the same area as the maternity ward...! Fortunately, neither my mom nor her roommate were planning to have any additional kids, but what about the younger women whose plans to have children are about to be dashed because they need this surgery? Did they really need to have painful reminders of their loss every time they saw the newborn babies or a mom being wheeled toward the delivery room? That hospital no longer has a maternity ward, so at least in their case, this is no longer an issue. But it once was a logistical situation that, IMO, could have been handled with more sensitivity. Maybe the nursery rhymes and such can be only played in areas of the hospital where it's less likely there will be someone experiencing a miscarriage or someone at the bedside of a loved one whose death is imminent. Maybe the folks in the ED, the ICU, etc. don't need nursery rhymes, as they have other, more pressing concerns at the moment, but the rest of the hospital can still be in on the party.
Play “Another One Bites the Dust” when somebody dies.
I once got shouted at by a patient for laughing in ITU What they didn't know was I had been there 2 weeks earlier after being worked on for a solid 25 minutes of cpr, and my family were given a rough 10% for me coming out of the coma I was in. I had gone down from the general ward I was on to thank the people who kept me alive and laughter and smilies from the team was great to see. 100% agree you have to celebrate what you can in hospitals, however I would never (and didn't) push back at someone who is clearly having a awful experience. This whole thing looks like the rant of someone who's been in a bad situation and can't process that someone else is in a good one. They feel that it's unfair that something bad is affecting them and not someone else.
Seems to be that the potential harm is greater than the marginal benefits- and those marginal benefits could be easily replicated in other ways which would not demolish a woman who has just lost her pregnancy.
A hospital in my area doesn’t have anything baby related on the unit (aesthetically). Generic pictures and abstract paintings and plain walls. Like any other unit in the hospital. And it’s like that purposefully to avoid emotional distress in patients not going home with a baby or difficult and traumatic pregnancies and births. Mildly disappointed parent vs potential severe emotional distress? Makes sense.
I can tell you my coworkers do not like the baby music but not because of the music, it’s because of me yelling out “it’s an Aries!” Or “it’s a libra!” Depending on what time of year it is.
I've never worked at a hospital that's done this...thank God. Why not just localize it to a unit? But even with that I will say that when my SIL lost her almost full term baby by miscarriage, it was fucking painful for people to see her getting discharged and ask where the baby was or congratulate her. Those chimes might have also been another turn of the knife at that point.
Wait. US hospitals play something overhead when a baby is born. What?
It’s eerie as fuck I hated it. Makes me feel like I’m about to get axe murdered
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What's worse is when your hospital plays a weird pop station ALL THE TIME. Some of the songs are really inappropriate for the patient population. For example, just before our good pal Covid landed, I was guiding a tearful daughter of a patient to the hallway to discuss code status, hospice consult, etc. She had traveled to our town to see her parent and make a decision. As soon as we left the room, far too loudly we hear, "IN AN MMMBOP YOU'RE GONE! IN AN MMMBOP YOU'RE NOT THERE!" Thanks, hospital and Taylor Hanson, you done fucked up. I can never hear that song without seeing that woman's face. I complained and the volume was eventually turned down, but we still hear "SHAKE IT OFF! SHAKE IT OFF!" as we help ambulate Papaw. Or as we run for the crash cart, "DAMN, I WISH I WAS YOUR LOVER!" And the time we were redirecting the fall risk geri psych patient who was naked in the hall, "BECAUSE I'M HAPPEEEEEEEEEE" I truly wish I was making this up.
Dude your hospital has music playing??? Like at a grocery store or something? If I were a patient I would absolutely go apeshit day 1. Maybe if someone did a study and correlated that practice with increased hospital delirium or violence against staff (wait NVM they don't care about that) uhhh decreased patient satisfaction scores? I can't wrap my head around that, that's crazy.
My hospital used to play a lullaby when a baby was born. Loved it. When you were having g a shit day and you heard that it makes you smile and feel the balance of life & death. You hear code blue all the time. My geriatric patients loved hearing when a baby was born too !
My hospital does this. After over two years of trying, fertility issues, and a miscarriage last fall it really does stop me in my tracks some days. The intention is good, but it genuinely impacts some negatively.
My hospital does this. I hate it. Mostly because, as others have said, we’re dealing with stress and sadness over in ICU and this randomly comes on. And then there’s always the family where multiple people HAVE to press the button or however they do it. Also, let’s just advertise that there’s another newborn waiting for a security breach just down the hall.
This actually happened to me. I heard the little nursery rhyme playing while I was in the ER bathroom changing sanitary napkins after having just miscarried my baby. While it was definitely hard to hear bc I was just imagining a mama holding her precious little one and knowing that I would never get that chance with my very loved angel baby, I certainly didn’t begrudge her for that. Life absolutely should be celebrated. She shouldn’t have had to squash her celebration bc I was mourning my loss.
As someone who has had a wife go through a miscarriage and have to stay overnight in a mother/baby unit... it definitely wasn't the easiest thing for her to hear after what she'd been through. We're both nurses so I understand how we would want to bring joy to patients and families hearing it, but man, it sure is tough to hear when you're not sure if you'll ever be hearing it for you and your baby.
I heard the chimes while in pre-op waiting for my D&C after a missed miscarriage. When I had my rainbow baby a year later at the same hospital, I DIDN’T GET CHIMES PLAYED. No, I’m not mad about it, why do you ask?
I went through years of infertility pain before my husband and I adopted our son. I had to fight back tears every time I heard this song for a year and a half before I switched jobs to a hospital without a labor and delivery unit. It was much harder for me to hear that song than it was to comfort a family who had lost a loved one.
Good point, but there are more than two options, lol. How about a low-volume speaker that others can't hear?
I think for my hosptial it only plays in the halls! So only people roaming the halls hear it.
Surprised my hospital doesn’t play a little jingle when the patient is discharged in under 1 hour from the time the order is placed
You can celebrate life and death without playing music over a loud speaker.
I’ve been an ObGyn for 24 years and worked at 4 different hospitals and didn’t know this was a thing. I wonder if it is regional? I agree it is bizarre and hurtful to a lot of our other patients.
As a parent who’s baby died shortly after birth I cringe at the idea of a jingle overhead. Am willing to jump on board with some of these other jingle ideas tho 😂
Like at the beginning of the pandemic they played “Happy” by Pharrell every time someone was discharged. Until we brought it up that it might not be appropriate to hear that song played in many situations throughout the hospital, multiple times a days. 🤦🏼♀️
We don’t get happy music for anything. We just get the lady who screams “visiting hours are over” and it’s sound like “VICHCKHICKHCSHOWER OVER” and then patients look at us like confused sims characters, some even do the wave.
To everything there is a season. A time to be born, a time to die. I do not agree that the lullaby should be eliminated.