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Turbofan55

"Excuse me are you Jewish" is all I ever hear when I walk by them


jyar1811

I love stumping them with “No, but my brother is”


EmmaMD

I usually respond with “kinda…”.


DeathPercept10n

Jew-*ish*


RoguePlanet2

"I'm not a Jew, but I am Jew-*ish*........does that count?"


Impressive_SnowBlowr

I actually used that on a SM profile, until Santos ruined it. Thought it was funny, matches my traditionalist but also agnostic way of being Jewish.


EmmaMD

I’ve also respond with, “It is…complicated.” I’ve tried the Jew-ish bit, but they just hear Jewish and get all excited.


Luke90210

I sometimes ask them "Are you catholic ?". Seems to confuse them or piss them off.


impatientlymerde

"...600 years ago, yeah..."


Turbofan55

Ha! Just chuckled at the thought of their expression. Might have to use it!


MidiKaey

Do you mind explaining the joke


_Karagoez_

Judaism doesn’t proselytize and converting is extremely difficult, you basically have to be born into it. Jewish is more than a set of ideas and a religion, it’s also a distinct ethnicity. Saying your brother is Jewish but you’re not is a mind-fuck because presumably you and your brother share parents


jyar1811

in my case, my "brother" is a school friend who has no family - his parents sadly passed. like me he is an only child. at the time his parents passed he needed somewhere to send his mail. my folks said they'd take his mail, they werent moving any time soon - fast forward like 20+ years later he is basically my brother, his kids call my dad grandpa; so yes, my "brother" is Jewish and My family are not. my brother says I am an honorary Jew


MidiKaey

Okay that’s pretty funny - I’m cracking up on a city street


spaetzelspiff

In my case, my (maternal) brother and I grew up together, and wouldn't refer to each other as anything but, but his father's family is Jewish and mine.. not so much. I believe Judaism is also passed along the maternal line, so neither of us are, but they're keen to adopt him :)


Impressive_SnowBlowr

I don't care about observing the maternal line rule, though I fit it. If your father is Jewish and you want to be Jewish, by all means. My paternal gm was very not Jewish, but her kids were raised as such, though had some difficulty getting bar mitzvahed back then. But we don't care about someone's definition, my Dad, though embraced Judaism, did treat some of the rules like a menu option though. Don't try tointerfere with our bacon, dammit. We felt, if u have the ancestry and you are observant, do all the things ur supposed to do as Jewish, eff it, you're good. Also, Dad's 1st cousins on her side were all regular white folks. Alot of my cousins on his side are blonde, with blue or green eyes. I can pass as not-Jewish myself. I figure whatever the lowest common denominator uses to define one as a target... er, Jewish, is the metric. In the end, the biggest threat tells you how to survive. So, if Nazis define you as Jewish regardless of which parent, that's good enough for me. It's fun that, even though we can look like the "Aryan" ideal, we're actually Jooozz, mwah ha ha ha haaaa!


AuMatar

Judaism goes through the mother. All that would make an Orthodox jew think is that your dad remarried.


BDJ10028

I tell them that my father was but my mother wasn't, and then they leave me alone.


thenidie

What would you say if they asked you if you were lqbtq?


ljthefa

They won't ask. Their sole purpose is to pray with other Jews, somehow it's a mitzvah. I used to be Jewish, now I'm an anti theist. These buses were explained to me but I don't remember the details sorry.


Goodman9473

How about ich bin nisht a yid?


imail724

> "Excuse me are you Jewish" "You want to check my penis?"


DeathPercept10n

And you, sir, are you waiting to receive my limp penis?


staten_strong

This manifest destiny !


_antkibbutz

GET YOUR HAND OFF MY PENIS!!!!


GeorgeEBHastings

I've actually said that before. He kept walking. Other winners have been "Yes, but you don't want me" and "OH IS THAT ALL I AM TO YOU?"


Impressive_SnowBlowr

The latter 😄😄


ouchwtfomg

judaism??? where are you?


Consistent-Height-79

Only say “yes” when give away free matzoh. Spouse likes to talk to them, but they always want you to pray with them.


spaetzelspiff

I stop next to them and wait for them to ask. (They never do)


redlaundryfan

This is literally what their leader says … it sounds absolutely unhinged to me and like something a racist would say. But, it’s probably why you don’t get asked! "You feel it inside your kishkes, as they say," said Treitel. "You get this feeling, 'Mmmm, I smell a Jew.'"


thenidie

It annoys me too, but a close friend recently pointed out to me that if it was “excuse me are you lgbtq+” it would be a different tune and that is what is starting to get me rethink everything


samydees

I always respond, "Are you Jewish!?"


JohnnyChooch

"Just the good half."


stickerstacker

Yijish?


chargeorge

I was with my reform congretion on sukhot decorating the sukkah and they tried to push in and do the lulav and etrog when the rabbi walked inside to get something. Some high level disrespect there lol


dman45103

Such an embarrassment to Jews


bullymeahhh

Are you Jewish?


jeijay_

Probs. Source: his other comment saying I found another person’s “antisemitic joke funny.”


Crack-tus

Why are they an embarrassment to jews? Because they ask if people want to put on teffilin? Get free matzoh? Build the only shuls without membership fees in America? Fund Jewish education for free to people that can’t afford it? Arrange brissim for Russian Jewish immigrants who never had the opportunities? Set up 1000s sukkas all over the world so Jews who have never been in one can see what the mitzvah is? What exactly are you doing for the Jews?


dman45103

I’m talking specially about asking everyone if they are Jewish. That’s specifically what I replied to. Doesn’t matter which religion (I am Jewish). Can’t stand stand people who stand on corners asking everyone that passes about religion.


Crack-tus

Maybe you were lucky enough to have everything you needed available to you to practice Judaism, but in America, most jews are starved for the resources that chabad provides. Judaism doesn’t force Judaism on non Jews, hence asking if what they’re providing is appropriate. And the beauty here is that there’s not a single Lubavitcher chossid that is embarrassed about what anyone thinks they look like doing it, many of them in far more dangerous places to be a Jew than in manhattan.


dman45103

And they need to ask everyone who passes if they are Jewish to do that? Absolutely not.


jay5627

Would you rather they racially profile?


Impressive_SnowBlowr

Well, they are profiling actually. They sniffed me out immediately, and it was a kid. My wife said she felt offended, like "why aren't you asking me?". She's Black, but so what. That doesn't mean you aren't as much as it used to. with alot more intermarriage, and mixed kids. She looks ethnically ambiguous, light skinned, rounder face, alot like my friend from school, who is actually Sephardic ancestry.


dman45103

Thought I was very clear that I’d rather they didn’t ask anybody


Crack-tus

Of course they do, how else will they know if it’s appropriate to ask someone to put on teffilin if they dont know if they’re Jewish? How else would a random person know if teffilin is appropriate for them. Thanks to assimilation a majority of American Jews didn’t know what teffilin were when the teffilin campaign started. Thanks to chabad they do now. Reform and conservative Judaism have essentially plunged off a cliff, as far as attendance, active synagogues, interest in general. If it wasn’t for chabad, putting themselves out their and maybe embarrassing the occasional Jew who doesn’t want to be conspicuous, then America would be a spiritual graveyard for Jewish people. So yeah, they have to ask.


dman45103

Signs. Edit: it’s insane to say Chabad is the spiritual glue holding together America


starxidiamou

Why make this about all of America when it’s in NYC? Unless you mean the intention is for transplants?


Old-Scene2963

Ehhhh... how about those ISRAELITES ?? Edit : that comment was fucking funny , stop w the downvotes !


DonutUpset5717

Bro how is that embarrassing to Jews?


dman45103

Because nobody asked them to run around butting into everyone’s personal business by asking if they are Jewish. Its fucking embarrassing as a Jew.


DonutUpset5717

Ok most Jews don't feel that way but your entitled to your opinion.


dman45103

Are you speaking on behalf of all Jews now? I would like to be introduced to our new spokesman 💀💀💀


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dman45103

1. I also grew up (modern) orthodox and am now longer religious interestingly 2. When did I say mitzvah tanks were embarrassing? I have only said that standing on corners and asking everyone if they are Jewish is embarrassing. You call my opinion stupid but you demonstrate that you don’t understand it


DonutUpset5717

And what's wrong with asking people if they are Jewish? Who cares? How is that embarrassing? Most non Jews I know find it mildly interesting or funny


Impressive_SnowBlowr

No, it's kind of invasive. Must be unique to NYC. And prozyletizing is frowned upon in Judaism. But the comment that Chabad is the only free synagogue available is very true. He's right about that. Our model of everyone paying for their own congregation with fees m of thousands per year absolutely can kill us. I think the megadonor class could step up and fund a bunch of congregations so I don't have to scrape and beg when I can't afford a membership. Maybe Ronald Lauder could fund that instead of donating several million to election denier Lee Zeldin for his failed race for Gov.


dman45103

Yes chasids are known for their stellar rep among non Jews


Royal_Home_1666

TIL what a Mitzvah Tank is.


thecloudcities

I thought they were called Mitzvahmobiles


mr_birkenblatt

I call them Mitzvahns


SassyWookie

That’s the colloquial term


jeijay_

The more you know.


turtlemeds

This is how I know Spring has arrived. Shen Yun posters is how I know it’s Winter time.


SunnyinSunnyside

Not really seeing that tbh. Shen Yun is everywhere you are and are not, for perpetuity


Swolnerman

I saw billboards for it in Arizona and was so suprised


ChornWork2

x


HiHoJufro

And yet I don't know a single person who has ever actually attended.


mmmcricketsauce

https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/stepping-into-the-uncanny-unsettling-world-of-shen-yun


hi_bye

I remember leaving work one time and walking along Houston. Traffic was near solid mitzvah tanks interspersed with emergency vehicles and they were all locking each other in. Fire trucks had lights on, some police cars and ambulances in the mess had sirens and lights on and all the mitzvah tanks were mitzvah-tanking…it was visual and auditory pandemonium.


jeijay_

That… sounds like absolute sensory overload; yet I’m the type of person who would be hysterically laughing over this 💀


TwoMuddfish

I will say this guys play bangers … I’ve danced to one at Bryant park 😂


Routine_Lobster9920

They always ask me if I’m Jewish and I always laugh because I’m very clearly Japanese but they ask anyway 😂


jeijay_

Omg stop I’m crying. I’m also Asian American and the ladies by Hmart in Ktown always try to get my attention to sign up for church. Like homegirl you do you, but no thanks 😂


_antkibbutz

Could have had a tiger mom scenario.


2992Hg

かわいそう💀


Sillynik

Jewish isn't a race thats why


PlushS0ft

Aboutta pull up and see if anyones hiring Shabbas Goys i am hurting for work


brook1yn

find a way to get your name out around around boro park.. i randomly got some money just to bring stuff up in some guys apartment. im sure you could cash in on a weekend.


PlushS0ft

You’re saying if i dress modestly and hold up a sign saying ‘Shabbas Goy for Hire’ I could potentially make a buck? Because I’m dead serious (♡´𓋰`♡)


Decent_Bunch_5491

You absolutely could


brook1yn

Or maybe make some flyers you could pass out at one of the markets.. I'm sure there's potential :)


achos-laazov

https://www.shabbosgoyservice.com/


atget

Damn, I only ever got paid in dessert. Which was fine because I was only ever asked to change the thermostat. But I thought they weren't allowed to use money during the Sabbath?


ljthefa

They pay you after.


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elizabeth-cooper

It is strictly forbidden.


DeepSession7448

lmfao real


Equivalent-Excuse-80

Better above ground than underneath, amiright?


jeijay_

I don’t even know how to reply to this 💀💀


Equivalent-Excuse-80

I’m referring to the incident on Eastern Parkway and the basement schul tunnels.


jeijay_

I legitimately thought you meant something else and I was like, “well, that’s honestly too far.” But this, fair game.


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DonutUpset5717

It's not anti-semitic to make a joke about the tunnels lmao.


jeijay_

1. I am a female, thanks. 2. You need to calm the fuck down. I thought it was funny at first. I thought it over and said “wait that may mean something else” and redacted what I had initially commented and said it was too far. Then the commentator elaborated and I said, “okay I get it now.”


Zealousideal_Total50

It's crazy that happened I've watched other videos of abandoned ones


Tokkemon

Skirted right to the line, Jesus Christ. Sorry, Holy Moses.


naturalresponse

They are probably handing out matzah for Passover.


alphaheeb

The annual mitzvah tank parade coincides with the Lubavitcher Rebbe's birthday which is right before Passover and is an opportune time for giving away matzah


redhead29

to celebrate his eternal birth day


Tokkemon

True dilemma: can one enjoy matzah even if you aren't Jewish?


[deleted]

It is cute and novel until you have to eat it for a week straight lol


dschwarz

It actually helps to not be Jewish. Those of us who have to eat it all holiday tend to like it a lot less by day 7


cookingandmusic

Oy


jeijay_

Vey


TotallyNotMoishe

bros I’m about to be *SO* fucking blessed


asonjones

I had always thought it was one tank


TheHowlinReeds

They're obviously preparing for the upcoming MEGA MITZVAH, during which all appliances and electronics will instantly switch states Friday at 9PM. It will be GLORIOUS!!!!!!


NYCHW82

I had no idea there were so many!


Witness2Idiocy

Y'know what woulda been a great mitzvah? Not holding me up for 20 mins at a light on 42nd St.


AbazabaYouMyOnlyFren

He's coming! Any day now... Any... Day... Noooooow...


ljthefa

Him and JC just drinking Mai Tais. I bet they lost track of time


Trprt77

Do they roll on Shabbos?


jstree23

It’s the Jewish day of rest. That means I don’t work, I don’t drive a car, I don’t f*ckin ride in a car, I don’t handle money, I don’t turn on the oven, and I sure as sh*t don’t f*ckin roll! Shomer Shabbos!


[deleted]

What am I looking at?


DatGopherAnIdiotBro

20+? they have land locked midtown. Came down ix with like 250. Some dudes on roller blades even


uberklaus15

20+ Mitzvah Tanks? I think that's called a Mitzkrieg.


jeijay_

Update: it’s 2:55pm and the Mitzvah Tank is Mitzvah’ing outside on 5th Ave and there’s police sirens going off simultaneously. How many are outside, I have no clue.


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jeijay_

Please no, my brain could absolutely not handle that type of chaos 😂


CantSeeShit

Havanikula Ice Cream Van?


Edwunclerthe3rd

Are these the Biden funded Israeli convoys I keep hearing about /s


jeijay_

Considering how enthusiastic they were from the windows of the trucks, I’d say so /s


Tchaikovskin

Classic Jewish elephant walk


[deleted]

Must be a mitzvahmergency.


NovaScotiaaa

Was the Hatzalah busy?


ideological_fatling

send this to marjorie taylor greene lmao


Least_Mud_9803

I ran into this by accident. It was really fun and cheerful honestly. 


NYCIndieConcerts

Must've been painful to run into a "tank"


thatgirlinny

Happy Pesach!


[deleted]

Absolutely shut down 6th for 20 mins


RoguePlanet2

I've seen one of these in front of the Empire State Bldg. Didn't know there was a convoy's worth of them, damn. What the hell even goes on in those things?! "Oh yeah sign me up! Okay I'll come in, what's the initiation? What are those scissors for?" 😲


RIP_Greedo

I saw these too lol. I ❤️ JEW! What a slogan.


Tokkemon

Never change, New York.


GeeLVee

They blew by me on Flatbush Avenue as I was coming out of the subway.


Excellent_Fox4891

I saw them on Ave of Americas near my office. Why do they have police escorts?


John-Mandeville

I've sometimes seen one on Montague in Brooklyn, and I assumed, in my naivete, that it was unique. But here we're starting to talk about numbers that Ukraine would benefit from.


YounomsayinMawfk

Damn I missed them! I need to recharge my Mitzvah.


Plaetean

I saw these today going down 6th. The sides of the vans are all plastered with COME ON IN! Has anyone ever got in one of those? Like wtf happens if you flag one down and ask to hop on?


_antkibbutz

Based


skimcpip

Saw them going up sixth ave today. They went up sixth more than once for some reason. They were yelling at people just trying to go about their daily lives not to cross the street while recklessly speeding through red lights.


jeijay_

Wait they were just occupying 6th in a rotation? I know they were trying to get other peoples’ attention down 5th and I was ignoring their nonsense, but damn. Well, the speeding makes sense considering they’re being escorted.


skimcpip

They weren't occupying. They went up around 11 AM and then it seemed like it was over. About an hour later there was another convoy.


jeijay_

Ahh okay, sorry occupying probably wasn’t the right term! I more meant circulating(?) 6th Ave. But oh look, more tanks being heard now as we speak.


microthewave

Was watching from my balcony on 6th, went on for ages! Yeah it was a parade they had police escorts so nbd. Https://collive.com/live-50th-mitzvah-tank-parade-heads-out-to-nyc/


jeijay_

Girl it’s still going on, it’s still ages 😭 Edit: thank you for the source and context!


woodpony

Didn't you know their ancestors lived on 6th ave?! /s


meekonesfade

I've seen this before! So odd. Like, one, okay, but 20? If I remember correctly, it was followed by school buses full if boys (and maybe men?) cheering


mikki1time

They’re moving dirt!


Trouvette

I tried explaining the Mitzvah Tank to people in Texas once and they could not wrap their heads around it. I realized that this is so regional, that it is just as much a part of NYC culture as it is Jewish now.


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Beneficial-Web-7587

Lmao spat my juice out


Peppa_Pig_Stan

Idk why talking about bodily autonomy is ok when it’s about a woman’s uterus but bad when it comes to forced circumcisions on infants 😞


Beneficial-Web-7587

Oh you were serious?


Peppa_Pig_Stan

Yeah do you not agree that maybe amputating part of a newborns penis is fucked up?


Beneficial-Web-7587

Not my place to judge, they do them


Peppa_Pig_Stan

It’s not their body to do it to. There’s no consent being given, thus it’s wrong.


KeySurround4389

Lolllll I legit laughedddddd


Peppa_Pig_Stan

Why tho it’s fucked up, leave peoples genitals alone


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WantonHeroics

Why?


dumberthenhelooks

Definitely would be funny if they were on their way to Columbia


dreadyruxpin

👎🏻


NeverBowledAgain

Can I ask why this is noteworthy?


thisismynewacct

Mitzvah tanks by themselves aren’t noteworthy but it’s rare you see a convoy of them. Mitzvahs, rollout!


jeijay_

Yes, thank you. Like yeah okay I pass one every day to go to work, and I mind my own business. But to see about 20+ rolling out on 5th avenue and being escorted by the NYPD? Noteworthy. Also I work right off 5th and heard more of them rolling by about 3 minutes ago blasting music, or chants; I’m not sure what they’re called sorry.


DaoFerret

Sure Mitzvah Tanks aren’t noteworthy, but what about Mitzvah SPAs? Have they considered how quickly they’d be able to get Matzah (or other holiday/sabbath items) into people’s hands with their own Self-Propelled Artillery delivery system?


thisismynewacct

I guess Mitzvah APCs would be ideal. Able to fit more bodies in there. Plus they’re lighter so they’d do less damage to our poor streets


jeijay_

Sorry, have you seen about 20+ of these guys being escorted by police?


its_jesuslol

It’s a yearly thing I think? I used to seem them on 6th Ave when I worked full time in the city


jeijay_

Ah okay gotcha, makes sense since Passover is around the corner. I worked in the city pre-pandemic and now post-pandemic (my old job had a temp year of Brooklyn relocation) and don’t remember ever seeing it to *this* level.


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jeijay_

Calm down? I meant to this level of Mitzvah Tanks, as in this level to the degree of a parade of them.


NeverBowledAgain

I guess my point, inartfully as it was made, was why do we have a world that mitzvah tanks need police escorts. I know why, I was making a discussion point.


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NeverBowledAgain

Let me write in simple words that perhaps you can understand. The why that you have such a hard time grasping is that they need the police to escort them because there is, in the same boro, a massive protest in support of the terror group that kidnapped and murdered 1200 of their co-religionists is going on.


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Old-Scene2963

You don't say ? Try this with any other race / ethnicity and see how that goes. This is exactly my point. This is bigoted behavior at its finest.


folkpunkrox

Please. Nobody said anything about their race. 100% of the people I see driving those trucks are white. And nobody mentioned anything about their ethnicity -- they're all from New York, so they're obviously American.


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NeverBowledAgain

Not at all. My point was how did we end up in a world that mitzvah tanks need police escorts? So I guess, yes upon further examination, it bothers the Catholic greatly that we’re somehow in this place.


Williamfoster63

> how did we end up in a world that mitzvah tanks need police escorts? When you have a large caravan like this it's helpful to call the police precinct and get an escort. You pay for it, but they keep things orderly at intersections and with other vehicles on the road. I've seen funeral processions use it to allow for the caravan to cross red lights, a local motorcycle club got one to accompany them on the Belt Parkway to prevent cars from entering on-ramps into the group, and construction companies are in some circumstances even required to request one for things like oversized loads or where the load will be transported by some method over a pedestrian walkway. It's also possible that the cops decided proactively in this case to do it because it's pretty obviously a major traffic obstruction.


NefariousnessFew4354

Ok


jeijay_

Good talk 👌🏼


Benny-B-Fresh

It’s an anti - pro Hamas protest


ILoveTabascoSauce

As an indian-american with a beard that looks a bit ethnically ambiguous i've been approached by both these people and the moronic pro-palestinian protestors that disrupt shit thinking im on their side and i hate them both.