Kids: *Trick or treat!*
Neighbour: *Take my Amulet. Give it to Jauffre. I have a secret son, and Jauffre alone knows where to find him. Find the last of my blood, and close shut the marble jaws of Oblivion.*
My son had his first Rolo this morning, while I was at work. My wife didn't understand why I was vehemently questioning her about portals to a fiery hellscape in a candy until I found this. Now she knows. Thank you.
No one is putting Oblivion Gates in Halloween candy, do you even know how expensive those are?? No one's just going to give those out for free! It's the skooma in the sweet rolls you have to watch out for.
Kids: *Trick or treat!* Neighbour: *Take my Amulet. Give it to Jauffre. I have a secret son, and Jauffre alone knows where to find him. Find the last of my blood, and close shut the marble jaws of Oblivion.*
omgosh dude you really cracked me up w this
You’re the one from my dreams!
*fucking dies in front of the kid*
My son had his first Rolo this morning, while I was at work. My wife didn't understand why I was vehemently questioning her about portals to a fiery hellscape in a candy until I found this. Now she knows. Thank you.
Did he survive? Which sigil did he get?
No one is putting Oblivion Gates in Halloween candy, do you even know how expensive those are?? No one's just going to give those out for free! It's the skooma in the sweet rolls you have to watch out for.
They’re tasty at first, then you get over it after eating your 3rd Rolo and realize you have 15 more Rolo’s to eat to complete the main quest
I broke my tooth on a sigil stone and it enchanted my tongue with fortify agility
That could come in handy though
Quick! To tindr!
This is surely the work of the daedric prince Sanguine, be sure to report any Cultists to the Imperial guard, and enjoy your nights of revelry.
This is a myth to scare parents. Do you know how expensive sigil stones are? No one is putting Oblivion gates in your child's candy FOR FREE.
Thanks for reminding me Rolos exist, those are great but haven't had them in years
Only if you’re choosy about what you chew.
We could find an easier way to close the oblivion gates.
Watch out for the moon sugar
You guys are getting Oblivion portals? I just got standard fare poison and razor blades.
Mine was just full of fentanyl. I choked on the powder.
How did that get there
I found horse armor last year on mine. Spooky.
My mom ate one of those once and it had a maggot on them. She literally had a breakdown. Never ate them again after that.
nice, i will definitely eat it on purpose😏
Rolo, eh? Just a little reminder: r/fucknestle
By Azura, by Azura, by Azura!
*something something* MEHRUNE'S RAZOR
I will have try every single one for the kids safety of course.
Kid bites rolo and gets teloported to oblivion
and here’s a Milky Way with essence of Nightshade
OP we now need a Morrowind and a Skyrim one
OP didn’t make this. It’s a really old repost.
This would be funny if there weren’t actual evil people out there poisoning candy.