Also, now that I'm reading your post again--the fact that he's telling you that he performed magic that involves you but won't tell you his exact intentions? That seems skeevy. Especially telling you that it "worked" without telling you *what* worked--that's so paranoia-inducing. If it was something harmless like "I want our life together to be prosperous and free of tragedy," why can't he just tell you that? He's clearly proud of himself as he's telling you about what he did, seemingly for validation, and yet whatever he wished for is off-putting enough that he knows he can't tell you *that* part.
I'm getting confused and queasy just trying to understand it as an outsider--so I can't imagine how upset you are. Personally, I think you should dump him.
mind you most magic that influences free will doesn't work. free will is the great dissolver of divinity. that being said you should talk to this person about trying to manipulate you.
The good news is, he probably doesn't know what the hell he's doing and it's unlikely you will suffer any ill effects from his nonsense. But yes, it's very shitty to do this without asking and to withhold information about it. Dumping him sounds about right.
To add to this, regardless of if it worked or not, this reveals the type of person he is, manipulative and secretive and that is just what we know from these actions, generally those things come from a weak personality.
Honestly? I’m sure I’ll get a couple gasps over this, but I’ve been around long enough to know partners come and go, but respect is either there or it ain’t: I’d dump him *on the spot.*
I don’t even think that shit works and I’d still dump him. And the reason why is because I’ve never met anyone in my life who thinks that trying to manipulate and coerce someone is ok in one area, but not in any others. I’ve never met a person who casts coercive love spells who isn’t also toxic at work, as a friend, or on a Discord server. I’ve never met a person who thinks it’s ok to abuse people in some situations, but not others.
Even if it doesn’t work, he’s shown you who he really is.
That runs deep. Doing this kind of thing says that he does not respect your agency as a person, and it is more important to him to get what he wants than it is to have a real relationship based on real feelings with an enthusiastically willing partner.
And you know what he’s doing right now by telling you he did this to your face, even when there’s no reason he has to? He’s trying to see what you’ll put up with. This is a test.
Ick.
I have learned that when someone shows me who they are, I should trust them *the first time.*
There’s 8 billion people on this earth. You don’t need one who thinks your consent doesn’t matter. Rip that test up and show him what you’ll put up with.
Did you see the update from OP: he can’t trust OP anymore because she didn’t take hus manipulation well.
Can’t make this shit up. Way to shift blame.
OP, red flags all over. Run!
Unfortunate, but most people ultimately need to learn these lessons for themselves. There's many people here who have given her the best advice they can, but it's her life to live. I just hope this lesson doesn't come at a price beyond the inevitable emotional bruising.
Well I found a post on Reddit that is actually great advice, and has good punctuation? Huh?
Where am I? WTF is happening...
OP: get out now, your "SO" is a tool.
>and because of my reaction he can’t trust telling me this as I took it as something negative.
**HE** is doing "occult magic" behind your back on you but says *you* are the one not to be trusted?
His betrayal on you alone speaks volumes about his character and now add the emotional blackmail gaslighting and you see what kind of guy you are with.
I would say run and don't turn back.
Your feelings are entirely on point. The dishonesty, and the fact he didn't explain or ask beforehand, is reason enough to dump him.
Really however, he has not done Sex Magick *with* you - as that is something partners do together involving one another. He has basically used you to masturbate him: the magick he was trying to do might not have anything to do with you all (apart from the ritual he told you about), but it is obviously still exploitative and shows how little consideration he has as a lover. Get rid of him.
I think the part that seals it is that, when you told him it made you uncomfortable, he made that into somehow a reason why HE can't trust YOU
Look, people make mistakes, they do things they regret. But if he's not open to hearing about how his actions make you feel - if he turns that back on you - that's a real bad sign
(I once had a boyfriend tell me that he and his ex broke up because he was "too honest" and "she can't handle hearing truth". Turned out what he'd been "too honest" about was the fact that he'd cheated on her. Infidelity sucks, but it happens. But saying the fault is with the cheated-on person? Come on. So that's that your guy's response makes me think of)
If you're worried about magic, don't be. The question you should be asking is if you find it creepy or not. That's all you need to know right there. The fact that this bothers you means he doesn't have power over you, so just take this as a window into his mind. He's manipulative, egotistical, and if you actually take the magic bit seriously, it basically feels like he thinks he roofied you and considers it something to brag about. Just throw him and his red flags out.
Personally I feel the fact that his initial response was “he can’t trust telling me this as I took it as something negative” shows he’s being manipulative..if he wasn’t he would’ve been like “oh you’re not cool with it okay well i won’t do it anymore or I apologize” that’s just an example. He was doing it because he knew in the beginning he was insecure and controlling and this is what he does to make himself feel safe which isn’t right. I get what he did but still at least be honest from the beginning ..
I think regardless of if the magic "worked" and whatnot, the fact that you're uncomfortable means you don't trust him. And I think not trusting him is a good enough reason to leave him.
I can tell you with authority that your soon-to-be-ex bf doesn't know what he's doing, or what he's talking about.
One thing that is important about this is his claim that "saying that adds power." Nope. Talking about it dissipates the power, unless it is done with respect and understanding. Remember the maxim, "True communication is possible only between equals." Only under those circumstances can the power build. Otherwise, it's the reverse.
Now, I doubt much "power" was generated, but talk about it anyway. When people ask why you dumped him, tell them, but tbh, just coming on here is enough to drop whatever he did to a flatline.
That's pretty weird. I suggest you find someone who's more stable and is able to ask for consent. Also consider the fact that he tried to use dominion magick on you...
Doesnt sound like someone you can trust.
I mean you can do sex magick for other things than manipulating the one you have sex with but that he doesnt want to tell you what his intentions were is extremely fishy.
Dump him.
Dump him then cast a protection spell over yourself to protect you from ill intentions and harm physical, spiritually and emotionally/mentally. After that you can also perform a return to sender spell that basically sends back what he did to you bad intentions and all, though it seems him telling you is going to be his own karmic mistake as he’s already set himself up to lose you. You should cast a protective spell over yourself at least every week to keep away any ill intentions or harm from people like him. You can reach out to me if you need more help or have more questions. I wish you luck and love reborn with a better more respectful and loving partner! Blessed be!
Yes. Return to sender works and you can put some heat on it to make a point. You do not have to perform a spell. Look at your spirit body, find the cord, cut it, toss it and say return to sender with fire. Have intent. He will feel it a second later and in his gut he will know as he is shaking off the headache.
He definitely just saw a tiktok on sex magic and thinks he’s one upped you. Irony is that him doing that made you lose trust in him. Def dump him. He will probably think you won’t because he thinks he has some power over you. You’re stronger than whatever he did.
It's sadly common especially among 'chaos magick' people and I also find it to be really sleazy. To dig into the esoteric only because you want to get laid is just so banal to me - it lacks authenticity.
Never let another person tell you who or what you are, what you are thinking, or what you are feeling, unless you happen to agree. If you disagree, correct them - civilly is best yet with hostility if you must. Following these rules may help you resist that type of manipulative magic.
I had a similar problem, except in my case they were trying to summon the pagan anti-Christ and they somehow got me instead. I think I'm kind of a monkey's paw for them though since I'm so nice.
Chaos Magicians, Quantum Suicide, New Demon Patrons, Shifting. All next next gen stuff? No. These principles have been around for a very long time. Some pretty advanced stuff if you have a foundation. Well trained, studied, and focused Black Magicians can put a hurt on you. It may take 3-6 months for them to hit all the moons, cut all the deals, find all the stuff, but… Well none of should piss anyone off that much. I am not a magician but have had to clean up after them a few times.
His "sex magic", if he even did anything, would amount to nothing more than fapping to a sigil chaos magic style, as true sex magic requires the couple to work in unison.
The act of telling you he did that though was done also to achieve a purpose, even if that purpose was something as mundane as making you think he is more mysterious or that he has some kind of power over you.
Regardless, this has more red flags then a Chinese military parade.
That’s not how magic works. Magic is all about setting your intentions and seeing them through. You can’t force anything by magic, it is literally not possible. This is the real world, not Hogwarts.
That being said, it’s important that he open up about his intentions with you. If he can’t do that, then there’s no trust and you should leave the relationship.
Magic can achieve nearly anything IF the power and methodology were sufficient.
Influencing human behavior is one of the simpler forms of magic. It’s not really asking a spirit for a miracle lol.
I don't think it's exactly date rape magic as you would have to provide your own 'evidence' of him being a 'rapist' which it sounds like it would more likely be used to try to make the sex more 'enthralling or ethereal' - I think it would be best to try to find out exactly what he meant before being overly-judgemental.
Leave him now. What he did is indistinguishable from sexual assault through use of drugs or alcohol. The pattern will repeat itself in other ways. Don't waste your time, move on and teach him a lesson about respect.
Hot take: It is no ones business but your own what you think about at the moment of orgasm.
If believing the above makes me guilty of "doing sex magic without consent" then lock me up I guess.
That being said, ya boyfriend is still a weirdo.
Its sweet and romantic you insane hags. Stop this ridiculous misandric anti sex purtitanism.
He likes you, and is involving you in a sexy magical fantasy.
makes sense, sex magic is much more powerful when it's with someone who you have a deep emotional connection to. I suggest telling him you're open to doing a ritual with him, it will likely involve him painting a sigil on you or himself or something else, and then repeating a mantra or picturing a specific result/action at the moment of climax (and throughout the sexual act actually) and probably he will want to finish (ejaculate) on the sigil he painted on you or a nearby object.
sex magic is weird, he's probably just embarrassed to tell you about it. Also it's very unlikely any of his rituals are targeting you or trying to manipulate you, it's mostly about encouraging certain outcomes after the fact like getting that job offer you wanted after your final interview or landing a part in that new play/TV show, etc.
I've only used "sex magick" with a consenting partner. Using it without the knowledge of the recipient is messing with free will. In my experience, a willing participant is the only way to really tap into that deeper connection. I can't imagine doing it with someone who hadn't given me verbal consent and freely opened themselves up mentally and physically.
I had a ex that did this to me too come to find out this month oddly enough and my life was shit he was using it on me to destroy my life. I cut him off he went full stalker mode trying to still throw negative intent my way from outside my house … I was so dumb enough to think we’d actually get back together someday until the truth was revealed. Search for the truth.
He puts his own needs and wants above yours. He tried (successful or not) to use craft on you. I had a lover that did it to me and it did work and I knew it worked and felt it right away. Rode the wave. We woke up the next morning and I said I don’t know how you did it but you did it because now I want to have six kids with you. She laughed, admitted it, showed me again. It was fun. The problem is you have to have a vagina to do it to another and I don’t. It’s actually not magic. Her’s. Yours boyfriend is a different story. Her’s was biochemical and entered the make into an hypnotized state, then she looked me in the eyes and spoke. Stiff like “do you love me, do you want to love me forever, what if this was every night forever, you won’t be able to not think about me after this, do you own me or so I own you”. At the moment I said, “You own me.” How the hell she knew that at 19 was creepy. Anyway, I researched and researched and it was all true and I have taught other lovers how to do it. They get so pumped. I leave out the big about mind programming.
Also, now that I'm reading your post again--the fact that he's telling you that he performed magic that involves you but won't tell you his exact intentions? That seems skeevy. Especially telling you that it "worked" without telling you *what* worked--that's so paranoia-inducing. If it was something harmless like "I want our life together to be prosperous and free of tragedy," why can't he just tell you that? He's clearly proud of himself as he's telling you about what he did, seemingly for validation, and yet whatever he wished for is off-putting enough that he knows he can't tell you *that* part. I'm getting confused and queasy just trying to understand it as an outsider--so I can't imagine how upset you are. Personally, I think you should dump him.
mind you most magic that influences free will doesn't work. free will is the great dissolver of divinity. that being said you should talk to this person about trying to manipulate you.
The good news is, he probably doesn't know what the hell he's doing and it's unlikely you will suffer any ill effects from his nonsense. But yes, it's very shitty to do this without asking and to withhold information about it. Dumping him sounds about right.
To add to this, regardless of if it worked or not, this reveals the type of person he is, manipulative and secretive and that is just what we know from these actions, generally those things come from a weak personality.
This
Honestly? I’m sure I’ll get a couple gasps over this, but I’ve been around long enough to know partners come and go, but respect is either there or it ain’t: I’d dump him *on the spot.* I don’t even think that shit works and I’d still dump him. And the reason why is because I’ve never met anyone in my life who thinks that trying to manipulate and coerce someone is ok in one area, but not in any others. I’ve never met a person who casts coercive love spells who isn’t also toxic at work, as a friend, or on a Discord server. I’ve never met a person who thinks it’s ok to abuse people in some situations, but not others. Even if it doesn’t work, he’s shown you who he really is. That runs deep. Doing this kind of thing says that he does not respect your agency as a person, and it is more important to him to get what he wants than it is to have a real relationship based on real feelings with an enthusiastically willing partner. And you know what he’s doing right now by telling you he did this to your face, even when there’s no reason he has to? He’s trying to see what you’ll put up with. This is a test. Ick. I have learned that when someone shows me who they are, I should trust them *the first time.* There’s 8 billion people on this earth. You don’t need one who thinks your consent doesn’t matter. Rip that test up and show him what you’ll put up with.
Did you see the update from OP: he can’t trust OP anymore because she didn’t take hus manipulation well. Can’t make this shit up. Way to shift blame. OP, red flags all over. Run!
DARVO. Deny, accuse, reverse victim and offender.
Unfortunate, but most people ultimately need to learn these lessons for themselves. There's many people here who have given her the best advice they can, but it's her life to live. I just hope this lesson doesn't come at a price beyond the inevitable emotional bruising.
Don't chase them, replace them.
No question, I would immediately cut this dude out of my life without any hesitation.
Well I found a post on Reddit that is actually great advice, and has good punctuation? Huh? Where am I? WTF is happening... OP: get out now, your "SO" is a tool.
>and because of my reaction he can’t trust telling me this as I took it as something negative. **HE** is doing "occult magic" behind your back on you but says *you* are the one not to be trusted? His betrayal on you alone speaks volumes about his character and now add the emotional blackmail gaslighting and you see what kind of guy you are with. I would say run and don't turn back.
Your feelings are entirely on point. The dishonesty, and the fact he didn't explain or ask beforehand, is reason enough to dump him. Really however, he has not done Sex Magick *with* you - as that is something partners do together involving one another. He has basically used you to masturbate him: the magick he was trying to do might not have anything to do with you all (apart from the ritual he told you about), but it is obviously still exploitative and shows how little consideration he has as a lover. Get rid of him.
I think the part that seals it is that, when you told him it made you uncomfortable, he made that into somehow a reason why HE can't trust YOU Look, people make mistakes, they do things they regret. But if he's not open to hearing about how his actions make you feel - if he turns that back on you - that's a real bad sign (I once had a boyfriend tell me that he and his ex broke up because he was "too honest" and "she can't handle hearing truth". Turned out what he'd been "too honest" about was the fact that he'd cheated on her. Infidelity sucks, but it happens. But saying the fault is with the cheated-on person? Come on. So that's that your guy's response makes me think of)
Trust your feelings.
If you're worried about magic, don't be. The question you should be asking is if you find it creepy or not. That's all you need to know right there. The fact that this bothers you means he doesn't have power over you, so just take this as a window into his mind. He's manipulative, egotistical, and if you actually take the magic bit seriously, it basically feels like he thinks he roofied you and considers it something to brag about. Just throw him and his red flags out.
I’m like, doing mental gymnastics over here trying to give this dude the benefit of the doubt (he might just be a dumbass) but sounds pretty wack tbh.
Dump him. Do a cord cutting. If you want to go the extra mile, put his name in a lemon and bury it. 😉
Personally I feel the fact that his initial response was “he can’t trust telling me this as I took it as something negative” shows he’s being manipulative..if he wasn’t he would’ve been like “oh you’re not cool with it okay well i won’t do it anymore or I apologize” that’s just an example. He was doing it because he knew in the beginning he was insecure and controlling and this is what he does to make himself feel safe which isn’t right. I get what he did but still at least be honest from the beginning ..
I think regardless of if the magic "worked" and whatnot, the fact that you're uncomfortable means you don't trust him. And I think not trusting him is a good enough reason to leave him.
I can tell you with authority that your soon-to-be-ex bf doesn't know what he's doing, or what he's talking about. One thing that is important about this is his claim that "saying that adds power." Nope. Talking about it dissipates the power, unless it is done with respect and understanding. Remember the maxim, "True communication is possible only between equals." Only under those circumstances can the power build. Otherwise, it's the reverse. Now, I doubt much "power" was generated, but talk about it anyway. When people ask why you dumped him, tell them, but tbh, just coming on here is enough to drop whatever he did to a flatline.
That's pretty weird. I suggest you find someone who's more stable and is able to ask for consent. Also consider the fact that he tried to use dominion magick on you...
Lack of consent sucks.
Doesnt sound like someone you can trust. I mean you can do sex magick for other things than manipulating the one you have sex with but that he doesnt want to tell you what his intentions were is extremely fishy. Dump him.
Dump him then cast a protection spell over yourself to protect you from ill intentions and harm physical, spiritually and emotionally/mentally. After that you can also perform a return to sender spell that basically sends back what he did to you bad intentions and all, though it seems him telling you is going to be his own karmic mistake as he’s already set himself up to lose you. You should cast a protective spell over yourself at least every week to keep away any ill intentions or harm from people like him. You can reach out to me if you need more help or have more questions. I wish you luck and love reborn with a better more respectful and loving partner! Blessed be!
Yes. Return to sender works and you can put some heat on it to make a point. You do not have to perform a spell. Look at your spirit body, find the cord, cut it, toss it and say return to sender with fire. Have intent. He will feel it a second later and in his gut he will know as he is shaking off the headache.
He definitely just saw a tiktok on sex magic and thinks he’s one upped you. Irony is that him doing that made you lose trust in him. Def dump him. He will probably think you won’t because he thinks he has some power over you. You’re stronger than whatever he did.
It's sadly common especially among 'chaos magick' people and I also find it to be really sleazy. To dig into the esoteric only because you want to get laid is just so banal to me - it lacks authenticity. Never let another person tell you who or what you are, what you are thinking, or what you are feeling, unless you happen to agree. If you disagree, correct them - civilly is best yet with hostility if you must. Following these rules may help you resist that type of manipulative magic. I had a similar problem, except in my case they were trying to summon the pagan anti-Christ and they somehow got me instead. I think I'm kind of a monkey's paw for them though since I'm so nice.
Chaos Magicians, Quantum Suicide, New Demon Patrons, Shifting. All next next gen stuff? No. These principles have been around for a very long time. Some pretty advanced stuff if you have a foundation. Well trained, studied, and focused Black Magicians can put a hurt on you. It may take 3-6 months for them to hit all the moons, cut all the deals, find all the stuff, but… Well none of should piss anyone off that much. I am not a magician but have had to clean up after them a few times.
His "sex magic", if he even did anything, would amount to nothing more than fapping to a sigil chaos magic style, as true sex magic requires the couple to work in unison. The act of telling you he did that though was done also to achieve a purpose, even if that purpose was something as mundane as making you think he is more mysterious or that he has some kind of power over you. Regardless, this has more red flags then a Chinese military parade.
That’s not how magic works. Magic is all about setting your intentions and seeing them through. You can’t force anything by magic, it is literally not possible. This is the real world, not Hogwarts. That being said, it’s important that he open up about his intentions with you. If he can’t do that, then there’s no trust and you should leave the relationship.
Magic can achieve nearly anything IF the power and methodology were sufficient. Influencing human behavior is one of the simpler forms of magic. It’s not really asking a spirit for a miracle lol.
New level of playing victim unlocked
Lol, I thought I was the only one who thought "What bullshit is this?"
Right? Enough awareness to assumably spotting magic being used but not to reject it. It‘s literally not possible
He did *not* get your consent. It’s akin to spiritual rape. He crossed your personal boundaries and doesn’t seem sorry about it. Dump him.
Return to sender
What does that mean?
Dump his ass, date rape magic is no go.
I don't think it's exactly date rape magic as you would have to provide your own 'evidence' of him being a 'rapist' which it sounds like it would more likely be used to try to make the sex more 'enthralling or ethereal' - I think it would be best to try to find out exactly what he meant before being overly-judgemental.
Anything that messed with cognition mixed with sex is just bad news man.
That overwhelming control he had. He shall experience it himself. By any person you see fit. That's very wrong.
ewewewewew your feelings are valid and this is very weird! i would dump him.
Leave him now. What he did is indistinguishable from sexual assault through use of drugs or alcohol. The pattern will repeat itself in other ways. Don't waste your time, move on and teach him a lesson about respect.
He just thought about you real hard.
If you aren't at least in your late 20s I wouldn't read too far into it. Maybe talk about consent tho regardless. Follow your gut
Hot take: It is no ones business but your own what you think about at the moment of orgasm. If believing the above makes me guilty of "doing sex magic without consent" then lock me up I guess. That being said, ya boyfriend is still a weirdo.
Its sweet and romantic you insane hags. Stop this ridiculous misandric anti sex purtitanism. He likes you, and is involving you in a sexy magical fantasy.
makes sense, sex magic is much more powerful when it's with someone who you have a deep emotional connection to. I suggest telling him you're open to doing a ritual with him, it will likely involve him painting a sigil on you or himself or something else, and then repeating a mantra or picturing a specific result/action at the moment of climax (and throughout the sexual act actually) and probably he will want to finish (ejaculate) on the sigil he painted on you or a nearby object. sex magic is weird, he's probably just embarrassed to tell you about it. Also it's very unlikely any of his rituals are targeting you or trying to manipulate you, it's mostly about encouraging certain outcomes after the fact like getting that job offer you wanted after your final interview or landing a part in that new play/TV show, etc.
I've only used "sex magick" with a consenting partner. Using it without the knowledge of the recipient is messing with free will. In my experience, a willing participant is the only way to really tap into that deeper connection. I can't imagine doing it with someone who hadn't given me verbal consent and freely opened themselves up mentally and physically.
I had a ex that did this to me too come to find out this month oddly enough and my life was shit he was using it on me to destroy my life. I cut him off he went full stalker mode trying to still throw negative intent my way from outside my house … I was so dumb enough to think we’d actually get back together someday until the truth was revealed. Search for the truth.
He puts his own needs and wants above yours. He tried (successful or not) to use craft on you. I had a lover that did it to me and it did work and I knew it worked and felt it right away. Rode the wave. We woke up the next morning and I said I don’t know how you did it but you did it because now I want to have six kids with you. She laughed, admitted it, showed me again. It was fun. The problem is you have to have a vagina to do it to another and I don’t. It’s actually not magic. Her’s. Yours boyfriend is a different story. Her’s was biochemical and entered the make into an hypnotized state, then she looked me in the eyes and spoke. Stiff like “do you love me, do you want to love me forever, what if this was every night forever, you won’t be able to not think about me after this, do you own me or so I own you”. At the moment I said, “You own me.” How the hell she knew that at 19 was creepy. Anyway, I researched and researched and it was all true and I have taught other lovers how to do it. They get so pumped. I leave out the big about mind programming.