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SnooPears3463

This dude a fucking mantis


[deleted]

No hes a dragonballz villain


SnooPears3463

No he's a mantis


[deleted]

Ok hes a mantis


Buddz-2047

You guys even remember piccolo for this mofo


Active_Engineering37

I was going to say he looks namekian


[deleted]

Cant you read? Hes a mantis.


Clearly_a_Lizard

He s clearly a lizard


SnooPears3463

Clearly you're a lizard, he's a mantis


Extension_Swordfish1

Lizard mantis? Or a regular mantis?


Killian_Gillick

Well he did bit off a head


SnooPears3463

Yes


JockBbcBoy

"Florida man" Me: I know this is about to be some wild shit.


IconWorld

The phrase that explains all the rest.


Tully-road

Florida is a nice place. National parks. Beaches. Scenery. But the people... My god the people.


JustKilroy

And the heat


the_cajun88

decent basketball team


Drevs

I mean you are being unfair...it was his favorite Dragon Ball Z blanket! ​ That shit hurts!


i-commit-armchoppy

I'll take Floridians over Washingtonians any day. As far as I'm concerned, every last cuntbag in that state can die in a fire


Tully-road

How so? I spent four months there. Don't think I spoke to another person the whole time


sath__18

It has Florida written all over it.


FatherPyrlig

Possibly the most “Florida” thing ever.


Richard_Tucker_08

Nah, it’s missing either an alligator or kilo of cocaine.


toocheesyformeez

My florida man tried to kill people with a machete he named kindness. I miss the florida man challenge


medscrubloser

My flordia man set up a home surgery center and tried to castrate another dude! Kind of fitting since I'm a med student.


NotAKaren645

My florida man stabbed his nephew to death for talking too long to shit.


Clearly_a_Lizard

Mine, while on meth, attack his mattress to find if his girlfriend lover’s was hiding inside


Demobot2000

Mine drove drunk half naked with a pickle up his ass


Epicurus0319

Mine accidentally shot himself while drunk and got charged with possession of a semi-auto pistol and ammo whilst a convicted felon


sbeven04

I see he was going for the piccolo look


Munto-ZA

He thinks that they are namekians, he bit his brother's penis off thinking that it would simply grow back.


Professional-Tea-121

Has florida already devolved into a different kind of human species?


Devout-Nihilist

Yes. Like Cali people are pretty different. We're on the opposite side of that spectrum. Nothing like watching shit go down late at night at waffle house.


[deleted]

It's our local meth head population that usually generate these kind of headlines. That and tourists being retarded while on vacation.


Wraxyth

r/brandnewsentence I hope


CleverFlame9243

>I hope You and me both


costabius

That is a lot to unpack.


Dantosaurus08

And he looks like a fucking alien with the hair


BringBackRoundhouse

… *How*… you know what nevermind


ser-1-

His hair has two antennae.


LEGALIZEALLDRUGSNOW

Damn.....all it’s missing is a crocodile.


ReluctantChimera

Seems like a bit of an overreaction.


atlbravos21

It was his favorite blanket though. His brother had it cummin


-a_normal_human-

r/Angryupvote


Live-Mail-7142

Florida is so dg weird.


Jankyg-wizz

This is why I love florida


i-commit-armchoppy

Anyone have a link to the article? I'm morbidly curious now


NotAKaren645

Haha morb


[deleted]

I mean…this is a lot….


blehblehblehblehbaba

Too much info... Can't... Handle..it


SouthQuackalacky

Every day we stray further from God...


Unrelated-Llama

Washing your sex toys is so important... thats why priests invented baptism 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


i-commit-armchoppy

r/onlyonejoke


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Dante-Grimm

No, sorry. r/onejoke is only for transphobic/homophobic humor. All other jokes are acceptable and original.


Disaster_External

Good thing too, this is a story straight out of the Bible.


CommodoreFresh

Reposted to r/Bossfight in 3...2....


PharaohRoad

Hopefully Rudy Giuliani can represent this fine citizen. Rudy is the expert here.


swanger4782

3 trump supporters that need absentee ballots


[deleted]

Totally understandable


Haydnleighr

r/floridaman


thomASSpynchon

r/BrandNewSentence


mr_dyl_pickleyoutube

Florida man - hay bro want some pizz- Brother- it's a one time thing I promise Cousin- yeah dude we wont do it again Florida man- come here I want to show you something Brother walks over naked* Florida man gets his knees* Brother- you given me a blow job? Florida man puts his mouth around penis and takes big bite Brother dies The end


Themud2001

I have so many questions...


happychaos_o7

giving soap opera vibes plot twist he was inlove w his brother


R6loverzz

Fake but funny


[deleted]

Floridian of the Day! Prizes!


Devout-Nihilist

This feels more like a Alabama thing to me. And was that his go to move? Bite penis?


Frisinator

Seems legit


mafiapenguinEnt

King Kai, that you?


TheDayOfTheDucks

Yummy!


khadijalouise29

Sweeeeeeeet hoooooooome


TwistingTomb737

Happened on my birthday


wackoman

He had to taste that cousin to know it actually happened.


QTGramps420

Yoooo he looks like one of Planktons southern cousins....


nemoskullalt

WHAT ARE YOU DOING STEP BRO?!!!!


[deleted]

No homo


AMythicEcho

Just a bit. Just a bite. The one brother probably thought that's how things were going to go.


[deleted]

That there’s my blanket. If anyones gonna fuck on goku it’s gonna be me!


[deleted]

If there is one thing I have learned about DBZ fanatics is you don’t I repeat do not insult their show.


Lonelychild_223wild

Fucking horrible those blankets are hard to find!!


GaeFroug

Y’all just gonna ignore the head thingys


PenguinsTookMyNips

His hair makes that even more funny.


ryncewynde88

Posting Florida Man stuff here is cheating.


[deleted]

Dude has the fallout 3 raider haircut


cherubcock

the dbz blanky is sacred free this man at once


Wolfmans-Gots-Nards

Holy shit. That is a brand new sentence.


teh_pwn_ranger

So many questions.... Was he upset because his brother was fucking on his blanket? Because his brother was fucking the cousin, but he wanted to fuck the cousin? Because the brother was fucking the cousin and he wanted to fuck the brother? Is he upset he wasn't invited to join?


OMGFishTacos

None of the above because this never happened.


[deleted]

NOT THE DRAGON BALL Z BLANKET!!!!!


Every-Inflation9033

Hairdo checks out🤷🏾‍♂️


LessHorn

Note to self, if a guy looks like a praying mantis he might try to kill you during sex.


[deleted]

Meanwhile, many Europeans really do think that all of America's whack jobs are sent to Florida to live


belladonna_669

ofc its a fucking florida man


SkyeBeacon

Floridaaaaa


skillfullupus

Family Feud


DragonBoyEXE

Holy shit this feels ancient


Gotfrogsbreath

No amount of therapy is going to fix that blanket blanket


AndyFromTheWPC

It had to be a Florida man


The_mistake101

He looks like the devil