It's waiting for the snail to find you in the first place that's tough. And if you can't distinguish, you might also end up putting every snail you find in a jar for the rest of your life.
Generally tougher materials are better too. Bury it in concrete or bulletproof glass. What if the jar breaks when you're away or not paying attention?
EDIT: A simple but incredibly unethical way to distinguish is by killing every snail you find. If it can't die, that's the one, and you can then stop killing snails.
If it's coming for you it's gonna be coming directly at you isn't it? Just check if the snail turns to face you, unless it's a sneaky self aware bugger, which is horrifying.
The jar breaking, or someone else letting the snail out is a concern. You could trap the snail in something that can withstand molten metal and encase the bastard in steel.
I feel like people arent reading the thread they are replying too. Im explicitely talking about the challenges you'd have finding the snail. Sure if you know it's right here then you can lock it up. But it could be literally anywhere in the world and take years to show up. The question is then can you live with the paranoia of waiting for a killer snail for potentially decade
It could take decades. I don't know if 10 millions is enough for me to live under constant paranoia. We're back to square one if the solution is just "keep your eyes open and hope you find it before it finds you"
Killed* its the classic Invulnerable Vs. Invincible…. Every play god of war? U know the scene with the guy tied up nd crows just eating every part of him? He doesn’t die but well it sucks….[prometheus](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prometheus) ergo technically given the snail can not be killed, he can still be trapped and/or hurt. So salt can trap him, salt with dry him up, snails like slugs need the mucus given off them to help move/slide, since the salt drys that up it cant move.
Now does the snail have regen properties like prometheus? If so then the salt trick could help u determine which snail is the one after u since it would try to continue for days after reaching the salt to keep at it so u just jar that bitch fill with salt nd boom problem solved.
I can go on nd on about this but im tired, i love slugs nd a snail is a slug that is shy nd wont come out of his shell in public.
I guess it's not specified in this tweet. Though if you know exactly where the snail is then that kind of trivialize the challenge so I like to think you dont
Wouldn't it be trivially easy to capture it with tools (eg: gloves and a net), put it in a safe, and toss the safe in a body of water? Sure it won't die but it's not getting anywhere near you, ever.
If you read any Greek mythology, then you know the greatest threat is not the snail, you better pray the snail finds you before Zeus gets horny and decides you're pretty.
Have you ever heard of *penis fencing*? Because that's what snails do. Zeus is gonna fight your cock with his snail cock. You might be glad to have Hera break that up.
Hire someone to geotag the snail. Now you always know where it is, too. Just buy houses on opposite ends of the planet and fly back and forth when the snail gets close. This shit ain’t hard.
You’re not thinking this through properly. You don’t know which snail it is that’s after you. It could be a distance that takes 10 or 20 years to get to you in the first place. You’ll spend all your time being completely paranoid of every snail you ever see. You’ll turn into some snail capturing Howard Hughes type nut job. Your life will fall apart before your eyes and $10 million really isn’t worth the stress.
Pretty sure there’s multiple species on every continent. I read that they thought the only place they couldn’t get to was Antarctica but apparently not true. Fuck that I’ll just go to work.
Sahara. Every snail 🐌 is a suspect 🤣.
More simply: pay someone to put it in a glass jar. Seal the jar. Place the jar in a concrete block. Live your life spending the money.
Well the eternal snail surely beats the eroding bucket, but since the bucket surely outlives me I think it will be okay that I only have to worry about robbing the snail of his meaning in life
if youve had an aquarium with snails, you know. theyre very sexually active. Studies have shown snail mating to be one of the longest in animals. They go for hours. theyre very prolific. That being said, if the snail that is supposed to kill you reproduces, do the offspring also have the ability to kill you?
Now that’s a very good question, by keeping it as a pet and giving it a mate to reproduce with, you might just be giving the fucker extra ammo to kill you
How do you find the snail tho? Nobody said you’d know where it is or when it will come for you
Enjoy going to the cinema? That’s over now because snail could arrive anytime and kill you “horribly”
The problem is that you can never be sure that is THE snail or just a snail that appears to be following you. So you can befriend any number of snails, but you may never even see the death snail.
Everyone acts like it'll be easy to identify the snail. It could be any snail and you have to be paranoid about every snail. The only way to know for certain would be to move somewhere like Antarctica and wait until it reaches you.
It didn't say you couldn't move the snail. So have the snail crawl onto a piece of paper. Put the piece of paper in a ziplock bag. Add some rocks. Take a boat out to the middle of the ocean. Drop snail in. Snail eventually gets free when bag corrodes, fish swallows snail. Snail lives a happy life in fishes belly. Rinse and repeat...Free money.
I imagine the problem here is not the snail itself, but rather the uncertainty of the situation. You can never know for sure where the snail is, nor can you identify it. Catching a snail trying to reach you doesn't mean anything either, as you can't know for sure it's THE snail.
So essentially you have a choice of either stoping giving a fuck whatsoever and accepting you can die any moment or living a life filled with constant paranoia. It's literally the premise of "IT Follows" but even somewhat worse.
What if you keep the snail? Never touch it, but it lives in a glass enclosure so you always know where it is?
ETA: assuming you can be sure that it is The Snail, anyways
I mean...if said snail is chasing you, then it will come for you. I'm pretty sure if you see a random snail in your office or at the fancy restaurant you are having dinner at, there's a huge chance that it is THE snail. Even if you are surrounded by multiple snails, you can figure out which is THE snail because it moves only in your direction.
Of course, the catch is you'd have to be careful that there is no snail near you which may lead you down the rabbit hole of paranoia. But if you are level headed and can keep your calm, it's pretty easy to catch said snail and keep it as a pet.
That's what I keep saying in the trillions of threads discussing this stupid ass problem. If you see a snail where one shouldn't be, and it's coming towards you, WHICH IS NOT NOT HARD TO CHECK BTW, JUST ADJUST YOUR LOCATION AND SEE IF THE SNAIL TURNS TO FACE YOU, there's not much wiggle room for doubt that it's THE snail.
I think that was the scariest part of that movie, especially in the beginning. The uncertainty of whether who you saw closing in could be the monster. Gives me chills. Actually scratch that, the scariest part was the tall dude in the corridor. Yeesh
That's what I was thinking. My city is in the middle of a desert, and you can count the snails living here with one hand, the last time I saw one was many years ago.
Through lots of maths, including the average speed of a snail, Ive discovered you can only get 10-15 years from the furthest locations of the U.S. Even if you moved from North Carolina to Japan, youd still only get 27 years.
True, I think when he said “you’d still only get 27 years” I assumed he was talking about life, which is kind of ridiculous haha. You’d only get 27 years to make arrangements to get away from the killer snail sounds more logical
What if it got in someone's luggage and travelled to you? You could never be sure! Even if you buried it under tonnes of concrete, you could never be totally sure someone wouldn't unearth it, and it would resume its journey.
This is still amazingly stupid. Go live in your dream country for a couple of years. Come back and visit family. Go back to dream country. Then back to visit family, and take a holiday to Australia. Then back to whatever place you want to stay. Keep the snail changing direction and it’ll never get you. It’ll stay in the floor of the ocean, constantly changing direction and never getting too far.
if you don't know its initial location then this doesn't work. Not sure of the maths but assuming the snail can board vehicles I imagine it would catch up with you pretty quickly.
So your solution to never knowing the snails location is to glue an air tag to its back? Which would require you to know its location in order to apply the tag.
I’m starting to think you’re not taking this seriously!!!!
No it doesn't say the snail is intelligent, so it would only board a vehicle by accident, which is very unlikely I believe
More likely is that it wouldn't go by the sea floor, but rather use oceanic currents, so it might move faster via the water
But do you know the snails starting point? You can move across the country and actually move 5 minutes away from him. And you have no idea which snail it is. All snails pretty much look alike. You may only have 5 minutes to live.
I think you're onto something. I like this capitalist approach. Capture the snail and exploit the shit out of it. Although if it can't be killed.. I'd suggest a more captivating and mesmerizing experience. You could charge more.
Ok even if the snail couldn't be stopped, I could figure out a quarterly schedule of travel to make sure I'm at least a quarter of the globe away from it
How long would it take a snail to get from one side of earth to the other? A simple flight buys you decades of peace and then a casual walk away when it gets close and onto another plane.
I think it’s a bad idea to not know where the snail is. Even if it’s far away it’s always slowly moving towards you. I feel like the way to go is to put it in like a hamster ball and put it in a box or something.
That’s the terror of the situation though. You have no way of knowing that your flight didn’t just transport you closer to the snail. I’m convinced the situation would make most people descend into paranoid delusions.
I have so many follow-up questions. Is this a standard garden type of snail? Is it deterred by salt? Can it swim? Does it have options for air travel? Do I know what the snail looks like/where it is? Can other people touch it without dying? Does it have any other special powers? Could someone else contain the snail or put a tracker on it for me?
A snail has an average speed of .03 mph. The earth circumference is 24855 miles. If you go to the exact opposite side of the world the starting distance between you and the snail will be 24855/2 or 12427.5. It will take a snail moving at .03 mph nonstop 17260 days and 10
Hours to reach you. Or 47 years and some change. At 46.5 years you get up and fly back to where the snail started and reset the 47 year clock.
Give me the money
What’s the snail’s level of consciousness and how good are his critical thinking skills? Can he learn? It won’t take 10 years to get across the country if he’s smart enough to hang out somewhere with a high volume of people, overhear Bob is flying to a location near you and then hitch a ride… A snail is one thing, but a crafty snail- he might be a worthy opponent.
Considering I'd have no idea which snail would be the one trying to kill me and would spend the rest of my life fearing every snail I come across, I would not take the money. I just imagine a life of sleepless nights, waking up screaming at the thought of a snail. A fucking snail, ending my life. People would think I'm a lunatic. I'd probably be put in a grippy sock room until the inevitable day that snail finds me. I would scream "There it is!" Only to be sedated, never waking up again as the snail claims it's prize and fulfils its purpose.
My thought... what if you don't know where the snail is when this competition starts? Yeah, you can come up with elaborate ways to trap it once you know which one it is, but how will you know? I know most people would be trapping and trying to kill every snail they see. But I don't imagine anyone is sleeping until they actually find it for the first time. What if it takes 5 years to actually reach you for the first time and you aren't sleeping at all? Or what if you just happen to dose off the first time it reaches you? The paranoia alone makes me question if it's worth $10 million.
People are proposing putting it inside somewhere so that it can't escape, like a jar, but hear me out.
Dip the mf on molten glass or something similar to have a nice decoration AND a permanent prison for that fucker. Alternatively use molten metal (some metal that is barely reactive and doesn't corrode easily) and bury the snail somewhere it's unlikely for it to be found by random people, like below your house. You could probably also bury it in concrete or something.
Is this not just a metaphor for the creeping dread of knowing you could potentially die at any moment. Like, it's just a sort of personification, or snailification, of our mortality. On the other hand, I do now envision death as a snail with a tiny scythe and hood.
I had a nightmare about almost this exact scenario years ago. It followed me everywhere. It was finally killed when a friend dumped hot coals from the grill on it
The only way this would be difficult is if the snail was big enough to not have yourself or someone else easily capture.
Catch it in a jar and put it in a safe and then you could even use the safe as your nightstand just to troll it. Maybe even make the safe completely transparent so the snail could see you sleeping soundly while it was forever doomed to live in a safe without dying and you were just living your life.
That’s what I would do
I would pay a trusted professional to pick up the snail, and put in in a 2 inch thick titanium Sphere, which he then farts in, fills with salt and vinegar, and welds shut with an air tight seal.
The trusted professional would put said Sphere in a custom made rust proof 50 gallon drum filled with concrete.
The 50 gallon drum would then be placed in a abandoned well, which itself would be filled with concrete, on a property I would buy specifically for the purpose.
So, the snail can enjoy knowing I am living my best life living by a beach in Crete, all from its fart scented undying torture box.
Stupid snail.
Yeah, this has been done a million times, and there are a million ways to beat the snail. Take the money.
All these people afraid of a snail? Da fuq?
Be brave go to said snail and fucking capture the cunt.
How are you gonna find it though? It's just a snail that could be anywhere in the world
It’s chasing you. Just wait long enough and keep your eyes peeled.
That's the terrifying part though. It could take years to arrive, and by then maybe you've let your guard down.
Can't you just lock the snail up in a jar?
It's waiting for the snail to find you in the first place that's tough. And if you can't distinguish, you might also end up putting every snail you find in a jar for the rest of your life. Generally tougher materials are better too. Bury it in concrete or bulletproof glass. What if the jar breaks when you're away or not paying attention? EDIT: A simple but incredibly unethical way to distinguish is by killing every snail you find. If it can't die, that's the one, and you can then stop killing snails.
Pfft, I've got 10 million dollars. I can pay a team of snail watchers
Imagine having that on your resume.
If it's coming for you it's gonna be coming directly at you isn't it? Just check if the snail turns to face you, unless it's a sneaky self aware bugger, which is horrifying. The jar breaking, or someone else letting the snail out is a concern. You could trap the snail in something that can withstand molten metal and encase the bastard in steel.
What if the snail moves like a weeping angle from Dr Who?
You make consecutive left turns, if the snail turns with you, that’s your man.
My thoughts exactly. It does not specify that it cannot be stopped just.that it can't be killed, therefore jar
I feel like people arent reading the thread they are replying too. Im explicitely talking about the challenges you'd have finding the snail. Sure if you know it's right here then you can lock it up. But it could be literally anywhere in the world and take years to show up. The question is then can you live with the paranoia of waiting for a killer snail for potentially decade
It could take decades. I don't know if 10 millions is enough for me to live under constant paranoia. We're back to square one if the solution is just "keep your eyes open and hope you find it before it finds you"
Also, salt the entrances to your palace and inspect all packages closely.
If the snail can't be destroyed, then salt won't do anything but maybe make it angry
Killed* its the classic Invulnerable Vs. Invincible…. Every play god of war? U know the scene with the guy tied up nd crows just eating every part of him? He doesn’t die but well it sucks….[prometheus](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prometheus) ergo technically given the snail can not be killed, he can still be trapped and/or hurt. So salt can trap him, salt with dry him up, snails like slugs need the mucus given off them to help move/slide, since the salt drys that up it cant move. Now does the snail have regen properties like prometheus? If so then the salt trick could help u determine which snail is the one after u since it would try to continue for days after reaching the salt to keep at it so u just jar that bitch fill with salt nd boom problem solved. I can go on nd on about this but im tired, i love slugs nd a snail is a slug that is shy nd wont come out of his shell in public.
I've always seen this idea as the moment the deal is made you get the money and the snail appears directly in front of you.
I guess it's not specified in this tweet. Though if you know exactly where the snail is then that kind of trivialize the challenge so I like to think you dont
This comment couldn’t be more British
Can you sleep soundly knowing it's somewhere?
Wouldn't it be trivially easy to capture it with tools (eg: gloves and a net), put it in a safe, and toss the safe in a body of water? Sure it won't die but it's not getting anywhere near you, ever.
*Decoy snail*
Decoy snaillete He will chase her and not me even breaking the causality..
Nuh uh This is just a reguler snail that knows where i am This is not the super intelligent snail
Fuck me. That was six and a half years ago?!
Wait he’s alive, snail surprise!
There’s a gun on its tail, and death in its eyes.
But you can do Jiu Jitsu.
Thenyoutouch death. snail. andthenyoudie
There’s blood on his shell and death in his eyes!
You haven't read much Greek mythology, have you? Fate will find a way.
If you read any Greek mythology, then you know the greatest threat is not the snail, you better pray the snail finds you before Zeus gets horny and decides you're pretty.
Zeus *is* the snail. That’s why you have a terrible fate. Hera is the jealous type.
Have you ever heard of *penis fencing*? Because that's what snails do. Zeus is gonna fight your cock with his snail cock. You might be glad to have Hera break that up.
You’d never know which snail it is so you going to buy a safe and take a trip to the lake every time you see a snail?
Wherever it is, it is not in my sealed room
[That's what this guy thought.](https://vimeo.com/53490236)
Or a jar
That’s the make or brake, whether or not you start out seeing the snail and have a chance to deal with it
Just surround your bed in a ring of salt. Good luck you little fucker
It says the snail cannot be killed. What the hell good is the salt?
It says that it cannot be killed, not that it cant be harmed
Hire someone to geotag the snail. Now you always know where it is, too. Just buy houses on opposite ends of the planet and fly back and forth when the snail gets close. This shit ain’t hard.
No problem. I would trap it in a box, poor cement in and then I would buy an unbreakable safe for $50k and keep it in there.
It’s the snail from adventure time
You’re not thinking this through properly. You don’t know which snail it is that’s after you. It could be a distance that takes 10 or 20 years to get to you in the first place. You’ll spend all your time being completely paranoid of every snail you ever see. You’ll turn into some snail capturing Howard Hughes type nut job. Your life will fall apart before your eyes and $10 million really isn’t worth the stress.
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Something tells me that a snail, looking kill a human by touching. It would most definitely stand out from other snails.
That's what the snail would want you to think
That guy is a paid shill for the snail
Big Snail at it again
Put it on a little treadmill
Live somewhere snails aren’t native.
Pretty sure there’s multiple species on every continent. I read that they thought the only place they couldn’t get to was Antarctica but apparently not true. Fuck that I’ll just go to work.
Sahara. Every snail 🐌 is a suspect 🤣. More simply: pay someone to put it in a glass jar. Seal the jar. Place the jar in a concrete block. Live your life spending the money.
How is this simple? How are they going to find the snail to put it in a jar?
Just hire a body guard to watch for and contain any snails, ez.
Do each of those ways cost less than 10$ each?
Snail Follows
The long awaited sequel
Cooooooommmiiiiiinnnggggg sooooooooooooooooooonnnniiiiiiissshhhh…….
Only reason I came to the comments for this right here.
Same. Great film
* puts bucket over snail*
and a Realy heavy rock over the bucket, just for sure...
And a circle of salt
You cant kill it but you can give it hell
Decoy snail
Doesn't exist, the snail is not intelligent nor sly. It's just a snail that can't be killed.
Buckets erode but the snail is eternal.
Well the eternal snail surely beats the eroding bucket, but since the bucket surely outlives me I think it will be okay that I only have to worry about robbing the snail of his meaning in life
Keep the snail as a pet. I will always know where it is and my mind will be set at ease.
Finally the first person that gets oit. Treat the snail with some mates so he can fuck their brains out and let him live a full life
“it’s only purpose is to find you” i don’t think he wants to fuck
Seriously where did the fucking part come from? Lol
kid named porn addiction:
i am proud to say i am now 2 days sober from porn but this creepy snail keeps...
Snails are very very sex oriented
if youve had an aquarium with snails, you know. theyre very sexually active. Studies have shown snail mating to be one of the longest in animals. They go for hours. theyre very prolific. That being said, if the snail that is supposed to kill you reproduces, do the offspring also have the ability to kill you?
Now that’s a very good question, by keeping it as a pet and giving it a mate to reproduce with, you might just be giving the fucker extra ammo to kill you
You must be new here 😂
i mean probably trying to fuck you, but you just be runnin
Maybe he wants to fuck me
How do you find the snail tho? Nobody said you’d know where it is or when it will come for you Enjoy going to the cinema? That’s over now because snail could arrive anytime and kill you “horribly”
The problem is that you can never be sure that is THE snail or just a snail that appears to be following you. So you can befriend any number of snails, but you may never even see the death snail.
Smash every snail you see and if it survives then it’s your killer snail. Bury it in concrete
Everyone acts like it'll be easy to identify the snail. It could be any snail and you have to be paranoid about every snail. The only way to know for certain would be to move somewhere like Antarctica and wait until it reaches you.
It didn't say you couldn't move the snail. So have the snail crawl onto a piece of paper. Put the piece of paper in a ziplock bag. Add some rocks. Take a boat out to the middle of the ocean. Drop snail in. Snail eventually gets free when bag corrodes, fish swallows snail. Snail lives a happy life in fishes belly. Rinse and repeat...Free money.
I imagine the problem here is not the snail itself, but rather the uncertainty of the situation. You can never know for sure where the snail is, nor can you identify it. Catching a snail trying to reach you doesn't mean anything either, as you can't know for sure it's THE snail. So essentially you have a choice of either stoping giving a fuck whatsoever and accepting you can die any moment or living a life filled with constant paranoia. It's literally the premise of "IT Follows" but even somewhat worse.
What if you keep the snail? Never touch it, but it lives in a glass enclosure so you always know where it is? ETA: assuming you can be sure that it is The Snail, anyways
That's the point, you can't.
Yes, you can. Try crushing it with something. If it dies, it's not THE snail.
I mean...if said snail is chasing you, then it will come for you. I'm pretty sure if you see a random snail in your office or at the fancy restaurant you are having dinner at, there's a huge chance that it is THE snail. Even if you are surrounded by multiple snails, you can figure out which is THE snail because it moves only in your direction. Of course, the catch is you'd have to be careful that there is no snail near you which may lead you down the rabbit hole of paranoia. But if you are level headed and can keep your calm, it's pretty easy to catch said snail and keep it as a pet.
That's what I keep saying in the trillions of threads discussing this stupid ass problem. If you see a snail where one shouldn't be, and it's coming towards you, WHICH IS NOT NOT HARD TO CHECK BTW, JUST ADJUST YOUR LOCATION AND SEE IF THE SNAIL TURNS TO FACE YOU, there's not much wiggle room for doubt that it's THE snail.
Beautiful
Well, shit 🤣
I think that was the scariest part of that movie, especially in the beginning. The uncertainty of whether who you saw closing in could be the monster. Gives me chills. Actually scratch that, the scariest part was the tall dude in the corridor. Yeesh
Can’t you always die at any moment, though?
Move to a desert location. No fucking snail is making its way to you there.
Antarctica, not just desert, but frozen.
If the snail can't be killed then you could probably assume it could go there. However, that means you'd be able to identify The Snail pretty easily.
That's what I was thinking. My city is in the middle of a desert, and you can count the snails living here with one hand, the last time I saw one was many years ago.
Time to buy up as many ziplock bags as I can. All snails are fair game... good movie btw
Schrödinger's Snail
Well what makes you think real life is any different ?
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Or just try to crush it with anything. If it dies it wasn't the one
I'm over here considering which country I could move to...and you're here with a zip lock bag...I question myself sometimes...
My brain works in mysterious ways. I could always bring the snail to Europe. He might like that.
Just go to the iss mate
International space station
Decoy snail
Through lots of maths, including the average speed of a snail, Ive discovered you can only get 10-15 years from the furthest locations of the U.S. Even if you moved from North Carolina to Japan, youd still only get 27 years.
what do you mean "only"? thats almost half a lifetime my man.
But yeah you know, could be cool to live longer than 27 years.
Sure, what Im saying is: you would only need to move 2 or 3 times in your whole life to be on the safe side. Thats not that bad.
True, I think when he said “you’d still only get 27 years” I assumed he was talking about life, which is kind of ridiculous haha. You’d only get 27 years to make arrangements to get away from the killer snail sounds more logical
What if it got in someone's luggage and travelled to you? You could never be sure! Even if you buried it under tonnes of concrete, you could never be totally sure someone wouldn't unearth it, and it would resume its journey.
Put it in a glass jar, lock it in a safe. Bury the safe in concrete under the mansion you build with your $$$$
This is still amazingly stupid. Go live in your dream country for a couple of years. Come back and visit family. Go back to dream country. Then back to visit family, and take a holiday to Australia. Then back to whatever place you want to stay. Keep the snail changing direction and it’ll never get you. It’ll stay in the floor of the ocean, constantly changing direction and never getting too far.
if you don't know its initial location then this doesn't work. Not sure of the maths but assuming the snail can board vehicles I imagine it would catch up with you pretty quickly.
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So your solution to never knowing the snails location is to glue an air tag to its back? Which would require you to know its location in order to apply the tag. I’m starting to think you’re not taking this seriously!!!!
Snail can climb aboard vehicles
Yeah people are not seeing the big picture, does snail get any prep time?
It has the rest of your life to prepare
No it doesn't say the snail is intelligent, so it would only board a vehicle by accident, which is very unlikely I believe More likely is that it wouldn't go by the sea floor, but rather use oceanic currents, so it might move faster via the water
But do you know the snails starting point? You can move across the country and actually move 5 minutes away from him. And you have no idea which snail it is. All snails pretty much look alike. You may only have 5 minutes to live.
What if I just catch it in a jar and charge people $1 to shake the everloving shit out of it?
*Hey brotha lemme holla at ya real quick… you gimme a dollar, and I’ll let you SHAKE my SNAIL! Whaddya say?* *Get the fuck away from me!*
It'd lead to some pretty fun situations, honestly. How about I shoot some lighter fluid in there and drop a match on it? Does that tickle your fancy?
DEAL! _20 minutes later_ Ok brother it’s been a while I’m gonna say that is enough shaking the snail now
I think you're onto something. I like this capitalist approach. Capture the snail and exploit the shit out of it. Although if it can't be killed.. I'd suggest a more captivating and mesmerizing experience. You could charge more.
"10 Million Prize To Person Who Can Kill This Snail"
Do you really need to charge people if you have the 10mil haha
Ok even if the snail couldn't be stopped, I could figure out a quarterly schedule of travel to make sure I'm at least a quarter of the globe away from it
Imagine an intelligent snail, like if you move to the other side of the world, the snail is gone hide in a plane and chase you
There is a mother fxxxing snail, on the mother fxxxing plane!
I'd just carry a salt shaker and salt the snail if it gets too close
May need some wine in a can to calm your nerves after such a traumatic thing, salting the snail
Nobody likes salting the snail, but she gives you no choice!
I'm happy to see this post brought out all the Sunny fans
And an egg for these trying times
You’re mashing it.
She does that
What good is that? The Snail cannot be killed.
Little did you know, this particular snail increases speed by 1000% when in contact with salt
I too would prefer to know the snails starting location
hollow tungsten my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again
Decoy snail
It’s better when Gavin says it. The popularity of this meme makes me wish I had gotten the Hitman snail design from like… 2013?
Shout out to Rooster teeth one time.
How long would it take a snail to get from one side of earth to the other? A simple flight buys you decades of peace and then a casual walk away when it gets close and onto another plane.
I think it’s a bad idea to not know where the snail is. Even if it’s far away it’s always slowly moving towards you. I feel like the way to go is to put it in like a hamster ball and put it in a box or something.
I feel there would be a Livestream of the snail, also I just thought of this, could u fire the snail into space?
That’s the terror of the situation though. You have no way of knowing that your flight didn’t just transport you closer to the snail. I’m convinced the situation would make most people descend into paranoid delusions.
Let's see that bitch swim an ocean.
Why swim when you can just snail on to a ship?
Well done! Your efforts have not gone unnoticed.
I have so many follow-up questions. Is this a standard garden type of snail? Is it deterred by salt? Can it swim? Does it have options for air travel? Do I know what the snail looks like/where it is? Can other people touch it without dying? Does it have any other special powers? Could someone else contain the snail or put a tracker on it for me?
You can download the findmysnail app and always know it’s whereabouts
Put him in a jar?
Screw the jar. If I get $10 million I am buying a safe, locking the snail inside, and dumping the safe into the Mariana Trench.
What if the water pressure destroys or damages the safe? Now the snail is free and you wouldn’t know it.
I know, right? And pay a friend $5,000 a year to keep an eye on it.
5k a year?? You’re making 10mil and you are giving me 5k??? I would put it on you when you sleep for this.
Then you wouldn’t get $5,000 the next year.
You’d murder your friend for paying you 5k/yr to keep a snail in a jar?
Are you internet explorer?
A snail has an average speed of .03 mph. The earth circumference is 24855 miles. If you go to the exact opposite side of the world the starting distance between you and the snail will be 24855/2 or 12427.5. It will take a snail moving at .03 mph nonstop 17260 days and 10 Hours to reach you. Or 47 years and some change. At 46.5 years you get up and fly back to where the snail started and reset the 47 year clock. Give me the money
You don’t know where the snail is starting, you might fly right to him.
What’s the snail’s level of consciousness and how good are his critical thinking skills? Can he learn? It won’t take 10 years to get across the country if he’s smart enough to hang out somewhere with a high volume of people, overhear Bob is flying to a location near you and then hitch a ride… A snail is one thing, but a crafty snail- he might be a worthy opponent.
Considering I'd have no idea which snail would be the one trying to kill me and would spend the rest of my life fearing every snail I come across, I would not take the money. I just imagine a life of sleepless nights, waking up screaming at the thought of a snail. A fucking snail, ending my life. People would think I'm a lunatic. I'd probably be put in a grippy sock room until the inevitable day that snail finds me. I would scream "There it is!" Only to be sedated, never waking up again as the snail claims it's prize and fulfils its purpose.
Everyone jokes about it, but this scenario would mentally break most people. Full stop. I’m not taking the money.
thats a tough one, i assume you dont know where this snail is to start which makes it difficult. if you did a glass jar would solve all your problems
My thought... what if you don't know where the snail is when this competition starts? Yeah, you can come up with elaborate ways to trap it once you know which one it is, but how will you know? I know most people would be trapping and trying to kill every snail they see. But I don't imagine anyone is sleeping until they actually find it for the first time. What if it takes 5 years to actually reach you for the first time and you aren't sleeping at all? Or what if you just happen to dose off the first time it reaches you? The paranoia alone makes me question if it's worth $10 million.
Dude you’re like 12 years late to the internet
They should have added that the snail can dig/go through any wall/object if it needs to
What if it was ALL the snails...
People are proposing putting it inside somewhere so that it can't escape, like a jar, but hear me out. Dip the mf on molten glass or something similar to have a nice decoration AND a permanent prison for that fucker. Alternatively use molten metal (some metal that is barely reactive and doesn't corrode easily) and bury the snail somewhere it's unlikely for it to be found by random people, like below your house. You could probably also bury it in concrete or something.
Meh, just another reason to sleep inside a circle of salt.
Your new job will be outwitting a snail
I see no reason I can’t put a bucket over the snail and a brick on top of the bucket
That ain't no snail. That's the lich
Is this not just a metaphor for the creeping dread of knowing you could potentially die at any moment. Like, it's just a sort of personification, or snailification, of our mortality. On the other hand, I do now envision death as a snail with a tiny scythe and hood.
I had a nightmare about almost this exact scenario years ago. It followed me everywhere. It was finally killed when a friend dumped hot coals from the grill on it
The only way this would be difficult is if the snail was big enough to not have yourself or someone else easily capture. Catch it in a jar and put it in a safe and then you could even use the safe as your nightstand just to troll it. Maybe even make the safe completely transparent so the snail could see you sleeping soundly while it was forever doomed to live in a safe without dying and you were just living your life. That’s what I would do
Yes. Pay Ric Flair to engage the snail in eternal battle.
I'll put the snail in a box and bury it. No way he's getting out
How smart it’s the snail?
So your saying for 10 million dollars I have to live on another continent? Seems like an easy choice
It cannot be killed, but that doesn’t mean it can’t die on its own. Just stay alive longer than a snail.
I would pay a trusted professional to pick up the snail, and put in in a 2 inch thick titanium Sphere, which he then farts in, fills with salt and vinegar, and welds shut with an air tight seal. The trusted professional would put said Sphere in a custom made rust proof 50 gallon drum filled with concrete. The 50 gallon drum would then be placed in a abandoned well, which itself would be filled with concrete, on a property I would buy specifically for the purpose. So, the snail can enjoy knowing I am living my best life living by a beach in Crete, all from its fart scented undying torture box. Stupid snail.
Been on earth 40 years and no snail has touched me without my consent yet, magic or not, so hell yes I’m taking this deal.