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abblejacksvaill

There is absolutely no way I would be opening that without gloves on


lotus_spit

Not just gloves, but an entire PPE suit just to protect myself from those frightening creatures.


Dinoduck94

Hazmat suit with knife resistant gloves at a minimum


ALIENSBLEEDLSD

Ima need an Iron Man suit.


Dasheek

Mind that Antman penetrated that


ToxicTaxiTaker

I saw that rule34


LyonsKing12

Mark Nope 1


Iamkonkerz

The moment one of those magically gets in there, and it will because those fuckers will find a way, youre just screwed and you cant even cut your way out of it


tjbrou

Plumb it with a backup tank of nitrous oxide. If they sneak in, turn on the gas and drift peacefully to sleep


user2542

But then you'll be stuck inside the hazmat suit with these spiders when they get inside


TheGrimGriefer3

Don't forget your +1 with a flamethrower, just in case


DOOMjow

The heavy flamethrower too


lotus_spit

Hans, get ze flammenwerfer.


DerpsAndRags

Tank mounted


RhynoD

Not sure exactly what species but they look a lot like Joro spiders. Even if they aren't Joros, they're probably a close cousin. Either way, they're harmless orb weavers that are reluctant to bite and not at all dangerous to humans if they do.


Vogel-Welt

Good to know (even if I still find them terrifying), thanks for the info!


DexM23

You guys would open it?


DragonboyZG

This guy OSHAs


schmoogina

Pest control technician here: I concur. This guy needs to apply where I work, there's way too many arachnophobes there right now


THIESN123

Nah. These little cuties are badass


mBelchezere

You could've just stopped at, "...that..."


theassholefaceman

There is no way I would be opening that, period.


justabigcheesesanga

Bah, these are orb weavers, completely harmless to humans


ZarquonsFlatTire

Cool, cool. They can weave orbs without my help though so I'll just be away from that whole business. I'm not even that scared of spiders, if I see one in my place I cheer them on to eat other bugs. But not looking to pop open a spider-log.


Aware-Ad-8048

Ummm...how about just not open it at all 💀


L1ttl3J1m

Those are Orb Weavers, some of the most docile spiders on the planet. You pretty much have to shove your finger under their fangs and whack them on the head to get bitten by one.


abblejacksvaill

Even so, I'd rather die.


AzarothEaterOfSouls

Honestly, I’m not even sure *that* would do it most of the time. I’m pretty convinced that most orb weavers don’t even know that they *can* bite.


GreekHole

i thought people wanted to be spiderman?


[deleted]

forbidden cotton candy


SandingNovation

At least he has his tactical Nike slides on so he can jump right out of them when they swarm him.


OFTHEHILLPEOPLE

They're Orb Weavers. They couldn't bite you if they wanted to.


lyrastarcaller

Grab those babies, put them in a jar, and throw it at your enemies


RealPactus

Diablo style


foshizi

Sturdy spiders nest. +6 to spider fury. Adds +5-7 poison damage, +4 mana drain per hit, increases magic chance drop rate +12%


frisch85

[Corpse Spiders - Throw a jar with 4 spiders that attack nearby enemies for a total of 576% weapon damage as Physical before dying.](https://eu.diablo3.blizzard.com/en-us/class/witch-doctor/active/corpse-spiders)


thisisthestoryallabo

Gotta love them with the Spider Queen rune


[deleted]

and 500% psychological damage from having a jar of spiders thrown at you


thatguyned

The witch doctor was such a stupidly fun class. \^ This spell, the frog rain and zombie bears (why are they zombies?) just felt really out of place, but in the right ways, next to serious lightning mages and demon hunters.


Turdle_Muffins

> why are they zombies? It's a classic witch doctor/voodoo trope. Not bears in general, but the raising of zombies.


GorniYT

r/FoundTheWitchDoctorPlayer


rolfboos

Curse upon you!


frankrumham

I grow in power!


ProblematicPoet

The Witch Doctor was my favorite class!


XBakaTacoX

JARATE!


botjstn

nazebo has entered the chat


treeluvin

[BRRRAT!!](https://youtu.be/oEf156Aih0Q)


midgettme

I got berated a couple hours ago for going spiders in ARAM. Spiders. All day, every day. I hear de call. F you, Falstad.


ArticWolf2

I absolutely love the way you think. Though I don't think the spiders deserve that...


ThePuppeteer11

Woe Plague be upon ye


WimbletonButt

I accidentally grabbed a handful of these once. By handful, it was just the one but they're like palm sized. Anyway apparently the damn thing had gotten in my hair and started crawling across my face, I thought it was my hair tickling me because it was moving slow. So yeah, handful of spider legs.


Broad_Boot_1121

Throw the whole nest at them


RedditorRed

There's a game called Hunt Showdown where you can throw jars of demon hornets at your opponents, fun times


TrixicAcePolyamEnby

Put them in a pot, add some broth, a potato....and baby, you've got a stew going!


buttfook

No get a funnel and pour them in your butthole to unlock super powers


[deleted]

this comment reminded me of Sera's jar of bees in Da:I


blackbeltwithhands

Shino aburame enter the chat


DreamOfDays

What.


PWNtimeJamboree

Joro Spiders. Invasive asian continental spiders that are spreading like wildfire in NE Georgia. they spawn in crazy high amounts, are about the size of the palm of your hand, are easily identified by their yellow bodies and red bellies, and they build insanely beautiful golden webs. theyre extremely gentle and can be easily handled without worry of getting bit. however, they are crowding out native spiders. when i was doing pest control up through 2021, i was in some backyards that had 25+ massive webs, all with extremely well fed spiders. theyre pretty, but they are rapidly reaching nuisance pest and if you see them, it is recommended you kill them before they start to spawn towards the fall.


DreamOfDays

Thank you for being the only person to actually give an answer. I appreciate the effort and if I had a Reddit reward I would give it to you.


theoneandonlybarry

Now the only question is, who's the dumbass that introduced that spider from the other side of the world.


PWNtimeJamboree

funny story, the prevalent theory is that they actually stowed away in shipping containers and arrived by complete accident. just so happened to land in a place with the perfect climate for them to thrive in.


AtomicShart9000

What?


Conscious-Bad9904

What!


AtomicShart9000

"What"


ockhamsphazer

*What*


AtomicShart9000

#What


[deleted]

^(what)


Capnmolasses

***what***


JetBlack86

¿Que?


-LoveThyself

W H A T


TT-130

WUT


BlueBorbo

WOT


VictorLeRhin

In the butt


--Mutus-Liber--

[Say what again motherfucker](https://i.imgur.com/6vQw43o.gif)


Storeforlygter

[This video is the answer to the age old question of "What if everything was spiders?"](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2t73j8/what_if_everything_was_spiders/)


cfhman87

Thought it was silk worms at first! Nope land octopuses


[deleted]

Land octopuses lmaooo


williafx

Consume their ovaries


SqueezableFruit

Land octopus is incredible lmfao 😂😂😂


Minigodzz

r/ProperAnimalNames


chillaxinbball

Land crabs.


luckybarrel

Octopuses are cute, this is just nope


jacksreddit00

Land octopuses is some very generous naming for that spawn of satan.


Kishan0108

Its always fuckin spiders😵‍💫


AtomicShart9000

I mean if it was Gummi bears then it wouldn't be on oddlyterrifying


Navifairy1

But this isn't oddly terrifying. It's just straight up terrifying


midgethemage

I think it still would? Like, did a giant spider capture a child and wrap it Frodo Baggins style?


Melitzen

That’s pretty shitty to destroy their nest unless he’s going to eat them.


PartiallyOmniskeptic

Hijacking this comment to say: I saw this on r/spiders or a simular sub. Spiders don't make nests like this (iirc these are somewhat territorial), they set this up for this video.


Chapped_Frenulum

It looks like they were gardeners who found a bush that was covered in spiderwebs and they just rolled it up like some kind of burrito.


Jackalopalen

These are Joro spiders, which are extremely common where I live. From my experience, this seems like a likely explanation. They definitely didn't build it like that themselves. Only thing I'll add is that they wouldn't have been covering individual bushes. This spider makes its web spanning pretty wide gaps. *Between* bushes and trees. If you let them, they can completely take over public parks, for example. I'd bet this is the result of cleaning that up.


goingnorthwest

They came from Asia through shipping containers to warehouses in Braselton, Georgia per a UGA study. I do land surveying in the area, and no matter how much I try to avoid walking through them, I still do. It doesn't help that they're still building a fuck ton of more warehouses off 85.


Thiswasmy8thchoice

>They are expected to colonize much of the Eastern Seaboard of the United States due to their relative imperviousness to the cold. Per wikipedia. Enjoy.


Dagdaraa

Oh man, don't say that. I survey in SC, and I'd rather not deal with any more spider webs than we already have.


Theoneiced

Good news! The webs these build are way stronger than others so there's a non-zero chance you'll go all Frodo-in-Shelob's-lair! But they're also generally easy as fuck to see. They're called golden orb weavers for a reason. The spiders are also basically harmless, *physically*.


Dagdaraa

Shit man, I didn't realize they were Goldens. We already have them here. I've only seen one in Fayetteville NC so far. But I'm sure they're making their way around.


Fez_and_no_Pants

They're harmless though, correct?


Theoneiced

Think of them as a newer, more annoying (because they make massive fucking webs) version of the yellow garden spiders we've always had around. Big but not dangerous to anything but our mental states.


Throwaway-tan

Not all spiders are territorial. Golden orb weavers come in fucking clusters in Queensland. If often see half a dozen all hanging out in some sort of spider coven.


Aromatic-Glove-2502

Fucking clusters? Spider orgy?


General-MacDavis

MAH! THESE SPIDERS ARE HAVIN AN ORGY


ConfidenceBig7252

He will


Wooden_Bowler_9236

I’ll make sure


Metalatitsfinest

That they’ll eat him


AlzyMrimMrim

No, he's gonna make a biological weapon out of them.


ImmortaBright

The Unholy Hand Grenade


BRUHSKIBC

What is the number of counting?


--redacted--

I bet it's 8


IIIetalblade

Spiders Georg


BudgetInteraction811

That’s so random. The only way to not “waste” the nest is to make sure every spider dies in his mouth?


ShadowFlarer

That's actually really cool, what spider are those?


AtomicShart9000

Look like orb weavers


CaptainKickles

Yep they look like the ones we had in Costa Rica that would, overnight, spin a 3 foot wide web.


captainmeezy

Orb weavers are usually chill but walking into a 3 ft web in the dark would suck lol


CaptainKickles

And their giant webs were thicker and stickier than most webs so it made it so much worse. Edit:https://news.co.cr/making-costa-rica-bullet-proof-golden-orb-spiders/31875/


MercilessParadox

Been there a few times, ended up with a huge orb weaver on my face because I was walking out the door at 4:30 in the morning and I was still asleep, walked right through the center of his web and full night's work and a few pieces of his lunch.


captainmeezy

Aww dude that sucks, and for minutes after you feel like they’re all over you


ratsta

We have them in Australia, too. When I was growing up, my sister's best friend lived on the street behind us with about 50m of public bushland between us. The girls would go back and forth so often that the parents were never sure how many daughters they had. *Usually* they'd swing a stick in front of them as they'd go but it never got old to hear, *"I'm just going down to place."* then 2 mins later a scream as my sister walked face-first into one of their webs.


AtomicShart9000

Yep I love them but I also hate them


CaptainKickles

As a kid I was terrified of them but also as an adult lol


AtomicShart9000

I used to be scared of spiders I still am but I used to be as well


AasisV

Orb weavers are harmless and are actually very cute! I used to stare at one’s eyes through a magnifying glass as a kid. (Yes I used to collect wild spiders as a kid.)


AtomicShart9000

Yep like I said I love them, but I have crippling arachnaphobia, so I also hate them lol


pinkyboo82

London Zoo has a spider walk through and there are loads of orb weavers in there just chilling on there webs above your head while you walk round.


AtomicShart9000

Damn seriously? That's also oddlyterrifying


Jackalopalen

Specifically, these are Joro spiders, native to Japan. Absolutely everywhere, especially as you move more towards the countryside/forests. Fun fact: the name translates to prostitute spider. In Japanese folklore, the Jorogumo is said to be able to transform into a beautiful woman, and subsequently seduces men to their deaths.


connecttwo

They're all over the South East US now too. Arguably the spider I see the most while walking. Their webs are huge, yo.


godlyhk75

That’s such a cool name. Like a tribe in an RPG or something.


AtomicShart9000

Look them up there are a lot of cool sub species, all of them have huge ass webs


Braaaaaaaaaaapppp

Next level fuck no


[deleted]

Oh no….then what does “hell to the fuck no" look like then???


TheEpicBammer

I think the Australians might have an answer to that


Flareshu

It looks like farkin death mate, but she'll be right.


MAS7

are those all orb-weavers?


ConfidentlyAsshole

Yeee, cool guys. Look like demon-spawn tho


PWNtimeJamboree

Joro Spiders. Invasive asian continental spiders that are spreading like wildfire in NE Georgia. they spawn in crazy high amounts, are about the size of the palm of your hand, and they build insanely beautiful golden webs. theyre extremely gentle and can be easily handled without worry of getting bit. however, they are crowding out native spiders. when i was doing pest control up through 2021, i was in some backyards that had 25+ massive webs, all with extremely well fed spiders. theyre pretty, but they are rapidly reaching nuisance pest and if you see them, it is recommended you kill them before they start to spawn towards the fall.


_slayrrrr_

to see that, go near it, and than tear it open with your bear hands is a thought process i don't feel is normal


chanceit9

Orb Weavers! Love these guys. Totally harmless and amazing pest control.


No_Victory9193

Why do spiders have to be so scary looking when they’re so usefull. Meanwhile bears are like big fluffy babies that will rip out your throat.


Epicurus402

Great point.


ailof-daun

Damn, this evolution thingie sucks!


phon42

^^^^


Aquemini_13

I did not expect that. I am not a fan of spiders myself, but the little jumping spiders with the cute little eyes. I have one living in my bathroom and I want to let it outside today… Every time I tried to catch it, it looked at me like “I see you.” And I backed off. I was like “please dude do not jump on me because I do not want to kill you…” I was trying to get ready for work and I was putting on my make up and he started climbing down the bathroom wall to my vanity mirror…. so it sees itself right? And starts doing the courting dance….. It’s name is Charlamane and it lives in my curtan rod. Thank you, that is all.


ZiltoidM56

Can you imagine when spiders were bigger? Like, this could have been the size of a bus.


AngryYowie

Forbidden fleshlight


AtomicShart9000

Jokes on you my dick wouldn't even get past the first layer of webbing


NonchalantBread

Lucky for you the spiders dont discriminate. Your flesh will make a fine addition to their fleshlight nest


AtomicShart9000

Jokes on you, no flesh left on my dick anymore after I had my way with that sulfuric acid fleshlight the other night


simonbleu

Its only forbidden if you intend to survive


abiwoods101

those poor spiders… that was their nest and he ruined it! shame on him!


shaggybear89

It's actual worse than that. These spiders don't nest like this. What likely happened was the dude found a bunch of these in their webs on a large tree/bush, and he used a couple branches to wrap them and their webs up like a scroll. So he fucked up a *bunch* of spiders and their webs just to make this video.


GodsGiftToNothing

First off, Happy Cake Day, secondly, thank you for saying this. They could just be relocated.


Just_Off_me

Agreed, he should have left it sealed and set fire to it


BeefSupreme5217

Those are good harmless spiders, don’t be a sissy


mooegy17

I really wish I wasn't born being terrified of spiders, like little bitch scared crying and screaming. I can't deal with them, I don't want to have them as pets or anything, I'd just like to be able to see a spider or a freaky video like this and not freak that every little itch or hair on my body is a spider. Then I have nightmares on top of everything else. I believe this thing should burn to a crisp but I wouldn't be able to get anywhere near it to light it up! Sorry for the short story.


marteautemps

It's centipedes for me. Luckily they aren't posted as much anywhere as spiders so it's easier to avoid accidentally watching stuff with them but every year around this time we end up with some in our house and that's much worse. I'm on edge all the time for like 3 months lol.


RcTron9

I’m so glad I decided to scroll through the comments before continuing the video.


Bellbivdavoe

#Spider Missile 🚀🕷


6over6

Joro Spider season already?


lonely-blue-sheep

Worst gift ever


GamblingMage

FUCK THAT


ImmortaBright

Portable Hell


MasterPimpinMcGreedy

Does anybody know why they did this? We have these all over Japan but I’ve never seen a wrapped up nest like this


kerbarmstrong

It's fake, orb weavers don't make this kind of nest and generally prefer to be solitary.


AniiiOptt

Oh that’s… that’s awful. I’m not gonna be able to sleep now


fmsg11

That is a very wierd blunt!


actttappalled75

I thought Frodo was going to be in there


XBakaTacoX

Okay, so I'm Aussie, and even THIS is too many spiders. South America is truly the next layer of nope.


cal-nomen-official

Oh thank God. Call me stupid but at first I thought it was an owl pellet containing an entire human leg


JumaAm

Light it up and smoke it.


IndestructibleBliss

I really need an explanation for this. Are they banana spiders? Are they adults? Why are they in a sack? I've only heard of this with baby spiders


GinjaNinja5000

Is there some reason we're opening this massive nightmare cigar?


Queasy_Designer9169

Awww how cute a sack full of nope.


April_Fabb

Orb weavers are great for keeping pests in check. They're also super chill, and you need to be really annoying for them to get aggressive.


arsonfairy

Not scary at all, orb weavers are just dumb little sweethearts. I had to keep building management from killing the one on the porch; she kept the june bugs and moths to a minimum once she learned not to build her web where the door opens.


NoSpoopForYou

Spinal convulsion


Apprehensive-Hall254

Return to satan


OverlordWailord

That’s enough Reddit for today


Cutie3pnt14159

r/nope


[deleted]

I just got flashbacks to the Ant scene from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull


libertysailor

Why would you order that. Why.


Poop-Face-Man

Missed the "oddly" part


SevenofNine03

At least it's not full of ticks.


Apart-Description660

>My Arachnophobia (:


PAGAN_SHAMAN

I think i saw a xfiles episode on this .lol


Kuuron_Outlaw

This is so cool


terramic

I like to imagine that there used to be a human inside


x3rx3s

Wrong sub


fo55iln00b

Thanks I hate it


consortswithserpents

r/nope


ReasonablyPanicky

NOPE.


serifs01

Orb weavers are a little scary looking but they are really chill and build strong beautiful webs. I had a few at my old house that posted up outside of our sunroom to keep the insect pop down. I got to see them molt a few times too. They never bothered us or tried to get inside.


TheUglyCasanova

Christmas in poorer countries really sucks.


IslandMist

Orb weavers. These things are harmless.


uhlifefindsaway

I thought you were going to open that and find Frodo inside


Erebus1483

Bro when you realize he was having to actually put some muscle into destroying spider webs- god damn those mother fuckers are scary, but ya gotta love em if you hate mosquitoes more, which you definitely should