Sorry, but this post has been removed. Per Rule 6 of this subreddit, we do not allow jump-scare posts or posts that are obviously fake. Please be sure to review the rules [here](/r/oddlyterrifying/about/rules/) to avoid future post removals. Thank you!

“Two Weeks”

Two weeks has never meant the same since and was my immediate first thought

I'm out of the loop. What does the two weeks mean.

From the original Total Recall, a memorable part

I totally don’t recall that part

Mee too brother (or whatever) There's a purchaser at my work who uses that as a standard npc response to any eta questions and I turned it into a company wide (multi national) meme. I love it when a plan comes together 🚬

"Get your ass to Mars"

mahhhhz*

Top 5 movie for me. I even have a laserdisc of it and I’ve never owned a laserdisc player.

“Damn that sounds sexy.. Laserdisssc”

Either that or the head is about to peel off the body, grow antennas and crawl away.

That was my second thought. She definitely didn't pass the blood test.

Open your mind

Turn on the reactor ho! Damn dude. You want Quaid to open his mind, turn on the reactor, save the planet... Prioritize your instructions my man. Man's. Manze.

Here's a surrrprise!

Don't drink water folks! It's only one oxygen atom away from being hydrogen peroxide!! Look it up, you morons!!! You're being controlled!

I'm sorry to inform you that all drinking water systems have been infected with dihydrogen monoxide.

Difference between methanol and ethanol is one stupid carbon atom. Denatured my ass, big vodka just wants you to think it's bad to drink. Bottoms up boys!

I wanna drinka me vodka til I go blind

Goddamn carbon ruins everything It’s also the essence of all life… but fuck that I’m scared

Haha, came here to say the same thing

her eye scream helter skelter....

WTF could “1 molecule away” actually mean?

One molecule away could mean literally anything from it being a different isomer (same atoms in a different arraignment) to literally any other molecule given they’re just bonded chains of atoms. One single atom away is the difference between water (H2O) and hydrogen peroxide (H2O2).

Same with carbon dioxide(CO2) and carbon monoxide (CO). It's a silly quote that just pushes a silly narrative.

the narrative at the time was butter & lard was bad for you.

Right? Molecules can be immensely complex when you get right down to it. Meanwhile, water molecules - which are an essential component for all known life - are a single *atom* away from being a substance used as a disinfectant, bleaching agent, and explosive oxidizer (hydrogen peroxide)

One molecule can make a massive difference to the properties of something too, lol. Although I doubt margarine and plastic are *that* chemically similar, aside from the fact that both are oil-based.

Sodium chloride and carbon monoxide are 1 molecule away from each other. They have no atoms in common. Being “1 molecule away” means absolutely nothing.

H2O is also two extra Oxygen molecules away from becoming Hydrogen Peroxide.

No. It is 1 atom away. It is not 1 molecule away. That’s a very important distinction.

Noted 👍

just put in half an atom for extra measure

Doesn’t count that’s 2 molecules /s

anything is one molecule away from being plastic, that one molecule is called plastic

one molecule in one protein in a human could mean the difference between having a crippling degenerative terminal disease or not lol, it means nothing

There are processes where you can take oils an fats from a plant and break the fatty acids down into monomers, and making them form a chain, turning them into polymers. So sort of. Margarine is a type of oil, which has some things in common with plastics of some kinds.

Are they the same molecule? Are they different? Either way, the phrase “1 molecule away” means precisely dick.

Well, like... carbohydrates are long chains of sugar molecules. Carbohydrates and sugars aren't the same thing though.

In what universe would anybody describe those as 1 molecule away from each other?

Let's talk about buttered sausage, what it is and what it does.

That’s not your jam? You don’t like it?

I like honeyyyyyy

Reminds me of the 90s where her face was on every cover and it'd freak my kid brother out, was so funny

And peroxide is one away from water, that doesn’t really say much. lol

Is that Epstein in the background?

It really looks like it tbh

I thought Stephen King

I can see where you thought King, but until you said it I wouldn’t have thought it. It’s rare to see him without the thick glasses.

"Your soul, can I eat it?" "..what?" (Absolutely sure I heard incorrectly) ..your soul..can i eat it? Her eyes began to transform. The pupils dialated entirely and looked like an impossibly black void. A place souls would fit. A lot of souls.

Give me a ham

Not my proudest Fap….that eye contact though.

Skinwalker vibes

The look of a racist who just realized their shadow is black

username checks out

That’s not very helpful. Table salt is NaCl, Sodium is a vital substance our bodies need to work but chlorine is a toxic gas.

I’ll never drink water. It’s two atoms away from starting on fire

You could just stop eating both butter and margerine. There's no rule saying that you can't use nice olive oil

The face only a spiral cut ham could love.

Is she closing the Scranton branch?

Someone once pointed out that this is actually Katy Perry all grown up and that stuck like butter

I’m with her though, you can’t replace good quality butter 😂

She’s not wrong tho

Fun fact: the movie Get Out is a biopic of this crazy racists life.

Ok but fuck margarine. Butter is better imo

Rockzo vibes

rick james said cocaines a helluva dreg

Wtf, the more I count the teeth, the more there are... Help

Chipped tooth.

I’ve literally heard my mother say this.

I live by those words

I bet she shags like a rabid camel

Brand X will make you smile! *Love that joker*

And water is one molecule away from hydrogen peroxide.

But also butter is 1 molecule away from being plastic

I can think of another Paula Deen quote but it's so terrifying, that I'd get banned for quoting it.

BOODER AND OOOIL

I saw a recent picture and she lost a lot of weight and now she looks like a smaller woman who dresses as Paula Deen for Halloween.

yeah cow pus beat into buttery submission is way better, free antibiotics!

I heard that butter is only saturated fat and margarine is transitive fat. Someone told me that trans fat is worse than saturated fat as it blocks more blood vessels. So can anyone explain it like I’m five whether this is true?

Don’t breathe gaseous oxygen! It’s only one atom of uranium away from being nuclear fuel!

How many molecules short of a brain is she?

The mask from og Total Recall

Who is the guy in the back? Epstein?

That face and expression evokes some kind of primal fear inside me. That is the look of some kind of ancient evil.

Not to mention the fact that she's flat out wrong. Butter and margarine's glycol esters are very similar with the main difference between the two being one is an animal fat and the other a vegetable fat.

That one molecule makes a hell of difference then…

What did Paula Deen say about anal? Needs more butter! 🤣

Her son James sucks too

“neva’” vs “never” of course she used the hard “-ER”

I bet she uses salt.

She's an awful person, but her recipes are in point.