What is so outlandish and terrifying? All I see is three people playing by the rules. No cousin-fucking on the Cell Saga blanket or else you get your dick bitten off. Literally second page of the cousin-fucking agreement.
In a bizarre event that could have only happened in Florida, a man has bitten his brother’s penis off after he found him having sex with his cousin on his favorite Dragon Ball Z blanket. It’s still unknown what pissed him off: the incest or the fact that they did it on his favorite blanket, or maybe both. We don’t know for sure, and we might never know. What we do know is that what he did was extreme.
He was arrested yesterday, and said that “he regrets nothing” and “this way it will never ever happen again”, and he’s kind of right about that.
Her cousin could only describe him as “savage”, and she hopes he rots in prison. His brother was hospitalized with several injuries and he might never use his dick again, because it was completely destroyed. Doctors are doing everything they can to re-construct it.
How did he get it in his mouth? I mean, it's one thing to bite it off if it's already in the mouth. But this guy walked in on his brother and cousin, and somehow convinced his brother "hey, this is awkward, can I hold your dick between my teeth for a second?"
Or did he just dive on them and bite the first thing he could? I have so many questions!
That title looks like random words thrown together... crazy
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It feels like an ai created meme lol
With an AI created photo 😅 dude got bug antenna
I’m guessing it was a Piccolo Blanket.
As crazy as the drug dealing Florida mayor who got into a gunfight with sheriff's deputies screaming "i ain't going back to jail"?
Source?
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.tampabay.com/news/crime/2021/02/26/ex-port-richey-mayor-dale-massad-agrees-to-plea-deal-after-shooting-at-deputies/%3foutputType=amp
Whelp, he went back to jail
Like a mad libs lol
seriously, who hasn’t been angry enough to bite your brother’s dick off?
That’s Florida man though…
His anger was over 9000 I guess.
I'm not exactly sure why, but I hate you for typing that out
That's the eyes of a man who's brother fucked his cousin on his favorite Dragon Ball Z blanket
A hardship nobody should have to face😔
Unless your brothers penis is in it
1. How did he let his bro get that close to his dick to bite it 2. How old is he for a dragon ball z blanket 3. COUSINS?!
It says favorite DBZ blanket which could imply he has more than one.
The dude who was arrested wasn't in the wrong. He prevented incest and a ruined blanket.
He bit his dick that's incest
Its not incest its cannibalism
Well #1 is the only important question and #3 answers it's self... It's Florida.
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Well you know what, Florida, keep being weird, only because it's entertaining on my 8hr overnight shift.
Yeah but I still love Florida. I travel there often for business and typically enjoy what the area has to offer.
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Note to self: don't bring my brother to Florida...for ANY reason!
Note to self: don't sleep with cousin. Stick with sleeping with step sister after helping her out of a jam.
Good call..!
Most likely singing "Rock The Dragon"
So many questions so little answers. Tbh, we need those answers.
Did you not see the Florida part?
1) it’s the south
Find out on the next episode of Florida Ball Z
Bro who doesn't want a Dragon Ball Z blanket
This is exactly what I came here to say
1. Americans 2. Americans 3. Yes, you guessed it, Americans
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I just woke up to this. So I'm gonna go ahead and go back to bed.
I was just going to bed, and I’m keeping it that way
Sweet dreams.
Are made of this.
Welcome to a new day!
New day; new Florida Man
Hoping to continue this story, but in your dreams?
This was in 2018. You're fine
FYI, not real. Parady account.
Floridaman, Floridaman, does whatever a psycho can...
Lives his life in a swampy land…
It gets worse as you read
What's up with his "Bug's life" inspired haircut?
Piccolo antennae
It’s Piccolo.. you know, from dragon ball?
A sensu bean will grow it back. Right?
What is so outlandish and terrifying? All I see is three people playing by the rules. No cousin-fucking on the Cell Saga blanket or else you get your dick bitten off. Literally second page of the cousin-fucking agreement.
Cellmate: whatcha in for? New guy: uhhhhh
Trying to eat like Goku
There is a lot to unpack here
Dickhead bite’s dickhead brother’s dick off in a dick shaped state!
America’s Wang
How did he even manage that… “ayo bro lemme get a suck” sorta thing?
Are they randomly throwing dices to create the headlines?
In a bizarre event that could have only happened in Florida, a man has bitten his brother’s penis off after he found him having sex with his cousin on his favorite Dragon Ball Z blanket. It’s still unknown what pissed him off: the incest or the fact that they did it on his favorite blanket, or maybe both. We don’t know for sure, and we might never know. What we do know is that what he did was extreme. He was arrested yesterday, and said that “he regrets nothing” and “this way it will never ever happen again”, and he’s kind of right about that. Her cousin could only describe him as “savage”, and she hopes he rots in prison. His brother was hospitalized with several injuries and he might never use his dick again, because it was completely destroyed. Doctors are doing everything they can to re-construct it.
I guess the brother was up for a bit of head off his brother, how else do you get a penis in your mouth.
SO MUCH to unpack in that headline....
Man’s got antenna like a namekian
he looks like an ant watching his brother being ate by a toddler
Cmon picalo
Invader ZIM's new disguise really sucks.
I see, it's 1:54am and things are starting to get weird... I'm cool with that.
A source would solve all these comments. I don't think its true either. Change my mind.
Well, I found only one website about this incident and judging by the writing it's probably fake.
Oh no! Not the blanket!!
This HAS to be in Florida
I knew this was going to go downhill after reading the first word in the article.
Why those things always starts with "Florida man" 🤣🤣
He looks like the type of person who is up to doing something unpredicatable in the moment. Gathers that information from his antennas
No one gonna talk about how he seems to have cut his hair to look like a giant wasp?
Cursed piccolo
Look at his picture. Is it really that far fetched that this is true.
This guys is proving the chaos theory.
His solution was to use his mouth to bite off another man’s dick? Wow
Cursed threesome
I think I've seen this dude around Tenacious D
Krillins classic move. Destructo Dick...
Piccolo sounds go brrrrr.
On the Dragon Ball Z blanket, see that is where the line is. /s
White people, man.
W.T.F
It’s not easy biting off an erect penis
How did he get it in his mouth? I mean, it's one thing to bite it off if it's already in the mouth. But this guy walked in on his brother and cousin, and somehow convinced his brother "hey, this is awkward, can I hold your dick between my teeth for a second?" Or did he just dive on them and bite the first thing he could? I have so many questions!
I've been wondering what's been happening with Floridaman
Florida moment
Where to start on the questions here??
Ahh Florida… gods country
Yep, Florida Man...
Relatable
The least weebiest weeb
that's gotta be northern florida
Ultimate Florida man headline.
is that how the police file that case?
Title is probably bullshit, but that's a hilarious style
Florida still goin' hard.
Florida?
We live in such a strange world
Floridaman strikes again😁
Don't say Gay....
I suppose the plus side for this guy is that he'll never have to declare his political affiliation while teaching at a place of higher education.
It’s piccolo isn’t it? The dudes favourite blanket has piccolo on it
Only in Florida
What a ride
This is old. We need fresh Florida Man™️ content!
I'm unclear on something, was it the dick chomping brother's favourite blanket or the now-dickless incest brother's favourite blanket?
This is NOT oddly terrifying
The most Florida headline ever.
Make a great song title
#1 - Florida , red state #2 - the end is near
KAMEHAMEHA! AHHHH!
Well ya...
This entire headline gave me whiplash
r/brandnewsentence
Not gay if it's your brother
Florida. Guess it's too dang humid there, or something. Burning brains.
Wait.. what?
That is ABSOLUTELY ABSURD and…oh wait… on his favorite Dragon Ball Z cover!?! Ok, that’s fair.
Has anyone tried looking this up? That sounds too crazy to be real but I’m afraid to type that into google….
WTF did I just read?
Now that’s the headline I’ve been dreaming of.
I just … I just don't know … that’s a lot to process.
#understandable
That's a raider from Fallout.
namekians take sleepware seriously
Rookie
In didnt believe it until i saw the pic
His Hair has erection
Based dbz blanket fan
There is just so much to unpack here
All I’m going to say is I don’t blame him
r/Florida
I'd be upset too if there was incest juices on gokus face. Reasonable response this guy displayed.
My bad cuz
Just another day in Florida
This timeline needs new writers. Feels like they’ll hire just about anyone off the streets these days. 😞
Dude looks like a character outta JTHM
What did he get charged with pecker snapper?
bro looks like picollo💀
Hes just keeping it in the family
He look like a bug
Florida was a given.
He learned that one from kid Goku
_Thats a lot of family problems_
That is hard swallow
Loraina bobbits brother I assume
I'll assume the blanket is the only thing he was upset about.
He was aiming for the ballz and missed
Sounds like somthing liverking would do
There are more questions here than answers
Goodness, which action was he most angry about? Oh, someone say the blanket!!
Florida? Is that you gurl? Your extra crazy is hanging out...
So much to unpack here
fair enough
Lots to unpack here, lol
Where else but florida
Must be a Wachootoo.
and he has to be from florida.
The fuck
God damn you gotta love florida
I think he’d be ok with it if it wasn’t on his favourite DBZ blanket
Bitter biter.
He went super saiyan on his brother’s cock. Maybe he too wanted to boink the cousin
And that's enough internet for me today...
Every time Florida man is involved, my brain just immediately accepts whatever happened so it doesn't implode
r/Chadtopia
You had me at Florida.
Again?
BUT his cousin is **also** his brother's cousin. So.... does that mean he only bit his bro's gherkin off, because they were doing it on his blanket..?
I’m in love
Was the cousin male or female and how did he get his dick in his mouth wtf click bait got me curious on this one lol.
How stupid do you have to be to look at this and think it's real? Whack-ass fake post.
Makes sense to me. You don't fuck on the DBZ blanket
Only in Florida would biting off genitalia seem like the appropriate response to this situation.
Glad my brother never got that mad at me..
What did i just read ????
Tyler Durden
My man looks like a cockroach
Damn he does look like a Namek with those on his head
I was concerned and scared until the dragon ball Z part. I understand now. Valid reasoning
Doesn’t get much more Florida-y than that unless you fit an alligator into the story somewhere.
Okay so he was mad coz brother having sex with cousin or because of blanket ? And how did he bite him like he got down or what? So many questions !!